Top Gear (series 1)
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Series 1[edit]
October 20th, 2002 [1.1][edit]
- [The first opening sequence.]
- Jeremy: This... is a car programme. There will be no cushions, there will be no rag-rolling, no-one will sing, and at the end of the series, no-one will have a recording contract. This is our new base, and this is our purpose-built test track. There are no traffic jams here, ooh... apart from this one, and no bus-lanes either. THIS... IS Top Gear!
November 24th, 2002 [1.6][edit]
- [During the opening sequence.]
- Jeremy: In tonight's Top Gear: Evidence that the French have gone mad; evidence that the Germans have gone mad; and as an oasis of sanity, the grannies are back!
- [Presenting the new BMW Z4]
- Richard: You can stick a BMW badge on a dead cat - and people would still buy it.
- Jeremy: The star we have tonight in our reasonably-priced car may look like a boy, but he is, in fact, called Tara. And that, I suppose, makes him a girl.
December 1st, 2002 [1.7][edit]
- [on the fastest faith]
- Jeremy: It's the 16th Century all over again! The Catholics come in second!
December 8th, 2002 [1.8][edit]
- Jeremy: I got a ticket the other day, and I kid you not, for being parked badly. Since when did it become like ice skating? Where they're all standing there, well, no, I don't think that is well parked, 4 out of... and only 3 from the Nigerian judge!
- Jeremy: Used to live in Fulham right next to the car pound in London. so you could drive up the west end, have a few drinks, leave the car, wobble home best way you could, wake up in the morning, they've towed it home for you. It was pricy, but kind of worth it.
December 22nd, 2002 [1.9][edit]
- [During the opening sequence.]
- Jeremy: In tonight's Top Gear: The ultimate family cars; what is the best hot hatchback; and the Stig meets his match on our track.
- Jeremy: No, you see I had one last week: Boxster S, new car, fantastic really, the most beautifully balanced... I felt like a prat.
- [On the news of the MV Tricolor sinking with nearly 3000 new cars on board]
- Jeremy: But there's plenty to talk about. Most important of all, of course, Jacques Cousteau opened a dealership in the English Channel.
- [On the MG SV.]
- Jeremy: If Oliver Reed and Russell Crowe made mad man-love on the set of Gladiator in an angry brawl, this would be the result.
December 29th, 2002 [1.10][edit]
- [During the opening sequence.]
- Jeremy: In tonight's top gear: The Mick Jagger of supercars; our quest goes on to find Britain's fastest faith; and the Stig sorts out TVR's new coupe.
- [talking about the problems on the Range Rover]
- Richard: They did suffer a few problems, I mean it was with stuff like the paintwork. Interior trim, bit rattly. Engines, they can be a problem.
- Jeremy: Yeah, the 4-litre.
- Richard: And the 4.6.
- Jeremy: And the diesel.
- Richard: All the engines.
- [reviewing the nominations for the 'Weirdest Renault' category]
- Richard: The Vel Satis. It's a businessman's car, but only if your business is Enron. The Mégane; a family car, but only if your family is The Osbournes. And the Avantime; it's a sporty coupe, but only if you don't want a car that's sporty. Or a coupe.
