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Tugs

From Wikiquote

Tugs was a British children's programme which ran from 1988 to 1989, focusing on the lives and rivalries of two tugboat fleets, the Star Fleet and Z-Stacks. The series employed animation techniques similar to that of Thomas & Friends, and was redubbed and heavily edited for segments of Salty's Lighthouse.

Sunshine

[edit]
Narrator/Captain Star: The 1920s. Bigg City Port was the biggest harbour in the world. It was a time of change and great opportunity. Nobody knew it better than the hard-working tugs, whose strength and big hearts made them popular with everybody from Tramp Steamers to Ocean Liners. Important jobs in the port often kept them working night and day. My tugs, the Star Fleet were no exception. I had three Harbour tugs: O.J., a paddle-steamer. Warrior and Big Mac. A Railway tug; Top Hat. One little Switcher; Ten Cents. And Hercules; my Ocean-going tug. They were a good crew, striving to be the best in the port. Not always succeeding, but proud of their work. I remember the day we got our first big break. It started like most, at dawn.

Captain Zero: Now listen to me and listen good. The Star Fleet are about to get the Ocean Liner Contract. [The Z-Stacks grumble in disappointment] And I'm NOT HAPPY!
Zorran: We're not smiling, Captain Zero.
Captain Zero: I'm glad you don't find it 'funny', Zorran. Now I want that contract, and YOU'RE goin' to get it for me!

[Like Sycophants, almost all the Z-Stacks say: 'Yes sir!']

Zip: But, How? I thought that...
Captain Zero: I don't expect you to 'THINK', You're a Team, the Best, the Better Looking, more Powerful, and dare I say, More Devious...
Zak: I like that bit about Better Lookin'.
Zip: Yes, but's what's Devious?
Captain Zero: What's DEVIOUS is what's NECESSARY to make an Honest Living, in these days of CORRUPTION, and 'Bad Business Ethics'!
Zip: Oh.
Captain Zero: Now, Fire up your boilers and get that Duchess Contract, there's NO TIME TO LOSE!
Zorran: No problem, that bunch of Clapped out Sardine cans are gonna find they've missed the boat, or My name's not Zorran...(laughing Deviously)
Zip: But it is Zorran! Isn't it?

[As Ten Cents was pulling out, another Switcher (who turns out to be Sunshine) is heading towards him]

Ten Cents: Oi! WHOA THERE! [Sunshine (trying to stop suddenly) accidentally collided into Ten Cents' hull, sending him rocking about.]
Sunshine: [Coughing upon collision] Er, Sorry. Sir!
Ten Cents: Yeah, Well watch it in future.
Sunshine: [Clears throat] I was, er- I was lookin' for Ten Cents, er- sir?
Ten Cents: Heh. Well, you just found him!
Sunshine: AAH! I'm...Sunshine. Sir.
Ten Cents: It's Good to meet ya! Come on, let's get to work. The Star Fleet's docking an ocean liner this afternoon, and if we get a move on, we'll be finished in time to watch.
Sunshine: Yes, sir!
Ten Cents: Now-, Now look, Sunshine, you only call Captain Star 'sir'. I'm just Ten Cents, okay?
Sunshine: Yes, si- er, Sure thing, Ten Cents.

Zorran: Well, look what the tide's brought in! Izzy Gomez! Ha!
Izzy: Hey, you guys, I need a tow.
Zak: We don't accept bananas as payment. (chuckles)
Izzy: Hey, big shots, you towing the Duchess or something?
Zorran: What would you know about it, you South American heap of junk?!
Izzy: What I know? I sit around, waiting for nobody to tow me. (Zorran starts, but is interrupted) The Duchess, she come in this morning, suddenly, everybody busy.
Zak: But Duchess isn't due till this afternoon--
Zorran: SHUT UP, DINGHY BRAIN!! C'MON!! (Zak mumbles under his breath after he and Zorran leave Izzy.)
Narrator/Captain Star: [TV version only] There had been a change, but the Stars didn't know this. Here was a chance for Captain Zero to put one over on us.
Izzy: Que dia, What a day, I gotta get a tow and unload these bananas!

Sally Seaplane: Hello, Ten Cents. Who's your new friend?
Ten Cents: Sunshine, meet Sally, She's a seaplane.
Sunshine: Hel-ll-oo...(Whistling)...Sally!
Sally Seaplane: Thanks for the fuel, fellas.

Zorran: Now listen. Hercules is up the coast, out of the way. Big Mac is the strongest Star left. If we knuckle him, we'll grab the liner contract.
Zip: Yeah, I know, but he's bigger than me---
Zorran: HE'S TOWING BARGES, DUMMY!! His route is close to the mud banks, okay?!
Zip: Yeah, so?
Zorran: SO?! You stuff him onto one! OKAY?! STUPID?!
Zug: You've done it before to yourself, Zip, so you should soon catch on!
Zip: Yeah, I'll catch on, Zorran.
Zorran: You'd better. Do it fast and get back fast. Now GET!
Zip: Devious, man. Devious!

Narrator: Zip and Zug knew exactly where to find Big Mac. They were waiting for him.
Zug: (innocently) Need a hand, Big Mac old buddy?
Big Mac: Well, guys, I...
Zip: Well it was a... nice day, Big Mac. Thought we'd try to... y'know, spread a little happiness!
Zug: Yeah, uh... like helping our mates!
Zip: Can't go past and see one struggle...
Big Mac: Thanks, guys! Now I'll be back in good time for the Duchess!
Narrator: Big Mac had no idea the Z-Stacks were laying a trap for him!

Warrior: I hope Big Mac gets here soon, Top Hat. This ain't gonna be an easy one!
Top Hat: Yes, where is he? We'll never manage without Big Mac!
O.J.: I'm worried about this! We need help to dock her... (sighs) C'mon, Big Mac! Where are you?

Narrator: The Star fleet were doing their best without Big Mac, and for a while, it looked as though they were going to make it. But Zorran was still waiting for another chance.
Zip: Ah, looks like your plan didn't work, Zorran.
Zorran: Hmm, if I could only get rid of that Switcher, Sunshine...
Zip: Thinking Devious, eh, Zorran?
Zorran: No, Just thinking Contract. Look, they've slowed her right back!

Ten Cents: 'Ere, what's that? Who's there? Oh..... Izzy, it's you.
Izzy Gomez: Yeah, and about time too. Warrior promised me a tow.
Ten Cents: Oh, well I've gotta find Sunshine.
Izzy Gomez: Why? What's the matter?
Ten Cents: Er, he.. Disappeared. I s'pose he's ashamed after causing the accident with the Duchess.
Izzy Gomez: Sunshine didn't cause no accident, I saw eet. Zorran pushed him.
Ten Cents: What?! Are you sure?
Izzy Gomez: As sure as I know I got a lot of bananas and I need a tow.
Ten Cents: Yeah, I had a feeling those Z-Stacks were up to something! 'Erewaitaminute, I must tell the others.
Izzy Gomez: Hey, what about my tow?
Ten Cents: [TV version only] Look, I'll see you get one. Thanks, Izzy.

Captain Zero: So it turns out you were seen!
Zorran: Impossible! I made sure!
Captain Zero: Don't argue with me! You were seen! Now the Duchess knows what you did and we don't get the contract! What kind of idiots do I have working for me?!
Zip: Really devious!
Zorran: Shut it, Zip!
Zak: Uh, sorry about that, sir.
Zorran: Yeah, Sorry, Captain Zero.
Zip: Sorry.
Captain Zero: Sorry?! Sorry?! I don't want to hear! Get out of my sight! All of you!

Captain Star: A few days ago, we salvaged the tugboat, Sunshine, and he was taken to Lucky's Yard, and I'm glad to tell you that little damage was done. As for the Star Fleet, we've learned a valuable lesson here.
O.J.: Yes, indeed we have...
Captain Star: A lesson about trust and friendship. I think we have Ten Cents to thank for that. And for the rest of us; about jumping to conclusions before knowing the truth. Now, I know you're all proud of being Star tugs, but the most important thing in my fleet, after hard work, is that my tugs always be true, honest and forgiving.
All six Star Tugs: Aye, aye!/Hear, hear!/Yes, sir!
Captain Star: Now, If you'll look to port, I would like you to welcome our new recruit!
Warrior: Oh, 'ere he is!
Captain Star: Sunshine, I am proud to have you on my fleet!
Narrator: [TV version only] That was the moment I first knew, we had a Great team of Star Tugs.
Ten Cents: Yeah, Welcome aboard. You look great, Sunshine!
Sunshine: Thanks, kidda! Bonny new colours, eh?

Jinxed

[edit]
Narrator: One night out at sea, Ten Cents and Sunshine spotted a tug they'd never seen before. His name was Boomer. He was just drifting. Realising he could be in trouble, they approached him cautiously. His engine was stopped, maybe even broken down. A towline drooped in the water and his rigging was scrappy. No flag flapped in the breeze. It seemed... no one owned him.
Boomer: Keep away. Just leave me alone. Please!
Ten Cents: Look, we can't. You're drifting in busy sea lanes. That's dangerous.
Boomer: Even better.
Sunshine: Yep, we'll have to take you in.
Boomer: Just leave me be, I don't want any help.
Sunshine: Why? Why not?
Boomer: Because, well- Because I'm a jinx. I'm bad luck, nobody wants a jinx.
Ten Cents: Oh, Rubbish! There's no such thing as a jinx.
Boomer: Oh, isn't there? You'll soon find out! Stand off me!
Ten Cents: Look, jinx or not, we have to take you in. Shipping lanes have to be kept clear!
Sunshine: Aye, Captain Star'll do something.
Boomer: No, he won't. Nobody can. Jinxes just happen. I just shouldn't have been a tug...
Sunshine: Er... Have you always been like this?
Boomer: My name used to be Captain Harry. It was good then in those days. Then I was sold. They painted out my name and called me Boomer. Ever since then; nothing but trouble.

Captain Star: Who's he, Ten Cents?
Ten Cents: Oh, it's Boomer. We found him drifting out in the Estuary.
Captain Star: Oh, what's up?
Ten Cents: Well, He says, er- He says his engine's not working.
Sunshine: (to Boomer) You'll be all right now, son....
Captain Star: I see. Sunshine, go pick up the coal barge and we'll try starting him up.
Sunshine: Yes...(whistles) sir.

Ten Cents: 'Ere, I think Boomer's taking on water.
Sunshine: Hey, Boomer, what's so funny?
Boomer: Haha, I'm sinking! Just what I wanted!
Ten Cents: What? Look, we're gonna make it to Lucky's, even if I sink with you!
Boomer: Cut free, cut free! I'm sinking, save yourselves! [stops before he's fully submerged] Huh?
Sunshine: Oh well, that's lucky! He's come to rest on that old sunken garbage barge!
Ten Cents: Look, you stay here. I'll go an' get a rescue crane....
Sunshine: Hey, maybe the jinx has stopped now, eh? You're still afloat.
Boomer: No, it hasn't. It's still here, alright. I wanted to sink, but instead, I land right on top of an obstacle that doesn't let me! All I want to do is Sink and become a Home for the Fishes. Then I won't jinx anyone...

Mighty Mo: Be sure to get that barge under Boomer as soon as you can. He's heavy, and I don't want to hold him too long!

O.J.: Be careful now. You have to guide the cranes, so they can lower the tug onto that raft.
Ten Cents: Right. Yeah, yeah, I see it O.J. Right it's up ahead, Sunshine.
Sunshine: Aye aye.
Ten Cents: Steady as she goes.

(but then all of the sudden, the main lights at Lucky's goes off leaving the tugs confused)

Sunshine: Huh?
Ten Cents: What's going on? What's he doing?
Big Mac: Get your own lights onto that rig, quick! That's it!
Sunshine: Ah, good.
Ten Cents: It's alright, I've got it again, Big Mac! Straight ahead!

(but then, all of a sudden, Mighty Mo's spotlight and the switcher's lights go out)

Mighty Mo: OI!
Ten Cents: Oi, don't push! Hard astern! What you doing?!

(the two star switchers crash into the raft construction)

Sunshine: Wha? Ow!
Mighty Mo: What is going on?!
Ten Cents: Oh! Ah! Hold tight! Whoa! Ah!
Mighty Mo: Oh, flipping 'eck!
Ten Cents: Help! Sunshine!

Narrator: That was enough for Captain Zero. He got rid of the unhappy Boomer. Well, I took him back intending to use him for simple jobs where Nothing could go wrong.
Zak: See you, Boomer! If you need any help sinking, let me know...

Sunshine: I've just been thinkin'...
Ten Cents: Yeah, thinkin' what?
Sunshine: I've just been thinkin' that you might jinx Boomer.
Ten Cents: No, I don't!
Sunshine: You do.
Ten Cents: How?
Sunshine: Look, every time he's workin' and we've gone past; you've sounded your hooter.
Ten Cents: So? It's called bein' friendly.
Sunshine: Not if it always causes an accident, and it always does. Just think: The Ammunition barge, Mighty Mo, the Rope, the Engine...
Ten Cents: Th- Wel- That's coincidence, not jinxed!
Sunshine: Call it anything you like, but it seems to coincidence Boomer when you do it.
Ten Cents: Yeah? Well I'm gonna go and speak to Boomer about it. Look, You coming?

Captain Star: Right, switchers, you can show Boomer where the Schooner is. We have a contract to tow her out to sea. I reckon Boomer can do that, seeing there's no engines to break down, to catch fire, no crane hawsers to snap, no ammunition to explode or buoys to sink. Just plain sail. And if Boomer breaks down, then the sail can more likely pull him!
Boomer: Very droll, sir, very droll.
Ten Cents: Look, come on, before he changes his mind.
Boomer: Okay, but DON'T toot!

Ten Cents: Boomer, what's happened?
Boomer: Lightning, that's what happened. But that fire object didn't believe me. He thought I was going too fast and a spark flew out of my stack, but it's not true. (scoffs) Anyway, I can't be bothered to argue anymore.
Ten Cents: You must have done something....
Boomer: I did nothing!
O.J: Lightning? Well, it's possible, I suppose. But on such a nice day as this?
Big Mac: Anything's possible with Boomer, he really is jinxed.
Narrator: After the schooner incident, I decided there was only one thing for it: I had Sunshine take Boomer to Lucky's Yard with strict instructions that he was never to be used as a tug, ever again, no matter what!

Boomer: Top o' the morning, Ten Cents! Morning, Sunshine!
Sunshine: Is that really you, Boomer?
Boomer: Indeed it is!
Ten Cents: Well... A houseboat.... Don't you feel...sort of silly?
Boomer: Not one bit! Not at all! It's what I always wanted to be! Now, hurry up you two, I want to get upriver to my new mooring.
Narrator: When they found it, it was a tree-lined bank, and it was clearly marked; Dun Tuggin.

Boomer: My, my, home sweet home at last!
Sunshine: Oh, you'll like it, here. Lots of nice trees to keep you cool in the summer.
Boomer: It's all I ever wanted, thank you both. I'm sorry if I got you into trouble.
Ten Cents: Ah, that's alright. Well, let's hope the jinx left ya'.
Boomer: It's what it did to others that worried me the most.
Sunshine: Well, time to go. We'll come to visit you some time, huh?
Boomer: Thanks. Thanks both of you. Thanks for everything.

(Ten Cents whistles goodbye to Boomer)

Sunshine: Oh, you shouldn't have done that!
Ten Cents: Oh, I'm sorry...!

(a tree start to fall)

Sunshine: Oh no!
Ten Cents: Oh no!
Sunshine: THE JINX!

(but the tree lands in the water, and Boomer starts laughing)

Boomer: No, it's gone. It's over, that proves it. If I were still jinxed; the tree would have crashed down on me. Or one of you two, more likely!
Ten Cents: Yeah. Yeah, you're right!
Sunshine: Yeah, great. Er, See you soon!
Boomer: Bye. Bye! Look after yourselves.
Sunshine: Aye, ta-ta Boomer
Ten Cents: Yeah, see ya' later, Boomer.
Sunshine: Take care.
Narrator: For Ten Cents and Sunshine, it was back to work as usual. But for Boomer? Well, he'd found his ideal place in the world. (chuckles) And he was very happy there, because the jinx... had gone!

Pirate

[edit]
Narrator: I remember a time, we'd all had a long hard day, but there was still one more job to do, and as Ten Cents was the first tug home, he got it. Engineering parts were needed to go to Scuttlebutt Pete the dredger, so they could start work first thing in the morning. I knew Ten Cents wasn't too happy, not because it was late; but because the Z-Stacks were on the same job.
Zug: Hey up, Zip! Look what the wind's blown in! Goody Two-Screws!
Ten Cents: Ahoy, Zug! 'ere where do you want this barge from the engineers?
Zug: Too late for today, mate!
Ten Cents: Too late? You don't need this till morning!
Zip: We might have!
Zug: No point now! It'll be dark soon!
Ten Cents: Don't bug me, I've had a busy day. Now where'd you want it?
Zug: Real Eager Beaver Zip! Isn't he?
Zip: Well, got a reputation to live up-to, Zug. One of the best Tugs in the Harbour...
Zug: Yawn yawn! All work and no play makes Ten Cents a Dull tug!
Ten Cents: Look, D'ya want this or do I take it back?!
Zug: Moor it by the Old Quay. If you're not too worn out?! (Both Z Switchers laugh loudly)

Sea Rogue: Aha! This looks like what I'm after: Engineering parts.
Narrator: Unseen, unheard, the dark stranger hitched on Ten Cents' barge and slipped silently into the mist. Zip and Zug were in for a surprise the very next morning.

Captain Star: What's going on out there?
Zug: Oh, er- Captain Star, sir- Uh- Ten Cents didn't deliver our barge last night!
Ten Cents: I did! You know I did!
Zug: You did not! It's not there! It's not- It's not there!
Captain Star: Alright, that's enough! I've already had a complaint from the clients. On your way now.
Zip: Er- Right, sir!
Zug: Have a nice day, Ten Cents!
Captain Star: I don't expect slip-ups like this from you, Ten Cents. The owners claim their barge is missing, never delivered.
Ten Cents: That's not true, sir. It was my last tow of the day. It was!
Captain Star: Ten Cents, I have to take the client's word.
Ten Cents: Sir, please, at least let me-
Captain Star: No. I'm putting you on dredger detail, with Scuttlebutt Pete.
Ten Cents: Aw, no, sir! Not that! There's-
Captain Star: Ten Cents? GO.

Ten Cents: Oh, hi, Scuttlebutt....
Scuttlebutt Pete: You look gloomy this mornin', Ten Cents. What's up?
Ten Cents: Oh, nothing.
Scuttlebutt Pete: I hear you've lost a barge.
Ten Cents: Oh, you would be the first to know, wouldn't you?
Scuttlebutt Pete: It's no secret. Talk of the harbour.
Ten Cents: Well, it's bound to be, once you know.
Grampus: I've heard the rumour.
Ten Cents: Grampus, what do you know about it?
Grampus: Well, you've lost a barge.
Ten Cents: Don't waste time, do you, Scuttlebutt?
Sunshine: Aye, rumours are his er- speciality.
Scuttlebutt Pete: Was only tryin' to help. The more who know about it, the sooner you'll be in the clear.
Ten Cents: I am in the clear! Get that clear!
Zebedee: Naughty, naughty! Temper, temper!
Zak: Lose his stack if it wasn't screwed on!
Ten Cents: Oh, one of these days..!

Top Hat: I say, what's this all about? Star Fleet and Z Fleet together? Whatever next?
Zorran: We're wasting time!
Captain Star: Silence!
Zorran: Ten Cents' barge's' the only ones gone...
Zug: Yeah, bet he knows what it’s about!
Zip: Him stealing barges. That’s what!
Big Mac: Cut that out about Ten Cents!
Warrior: Yeah! Watch it, see?
Zug Well we didn't mean anything by…
Big Mac: Just careful what you say!
Captain Star: I said silence! Captain Zero and me have had a meeting. Missing barges is serious, we’re going to get to the bottom of it, understand? Captain Zero...
Captain Zero: I know of a scheme to catch this Pirate...
Top Hat: Ha! I expect he knows several.
Big Mac: Aye, Set a crook to catch a crook!
Zorran: What are you suggesting?!?
Captain Star: QUIET! We've decided to Set a trap.
Captain Zero: Certain Barges are being rigged with flares that will Trigger off if the barge is even touched! Never mind Stolen.

Pirate Tug #1: [Switching their green lights on] You've done very well, so far, patchy, but we figure you still owe us.
Sea Rogue: You're going back on your word?! You said that was the last barge!
Grampus: [Upon sneaking in] (Whispering) The thief!
Pirate Tug #2: Changed our mind, see. It's one more barge. Get it tonight or it's goodbye to him [Referring to Sea Rogue's Uncle]. Davy Jones's locker on the seabed!
Grampus: (Still Whispering) Who's he...? The missing barges!
Pirate Tug #2: What's that?!
Grampus: [Heard in VHS version, but clearer & louder in T.V. version] (Whispering even quieter) Looks like a problem.
Pirate Tug #2: You hear anything?
Pirate Tug #1: NO!
Pirate Tug #2: Right... Do as we say, or else!
Sea Rogue: It's getting too risky.
Pirate Tug #2: One more, I said. Tonight!
Sea Rogue's Uncle: Don't do it!
Sea Rogue: I've got to! Haven't I? You promise tonight will be the last?
Pirate Tug #1: Deliver, or he sinks! [Both pirates switch their green lights off]

Top Hat: Dash good idea, this. Barge in Place, Flare set to go off. Now I thought we were going to be in pairs... [Top Hat hears another tug approaching, looks round, & sees who his partner is] Oh no, Not Warrior?!
Warrior: This is our post, Top Hat- [Warrior inadvertently Bumps into a Bell Buoy as he pulls up] Oop?!? Sorry little fella!
Top Hat: Of all the tugs, I get the clumsiest!
Warrior: It'll be great if you and I catch em'.
Top Hat: How thrilling. How absolutely thrilling. Now pay attention, Warrior; This is a wartime situation. I’ll muster up my cunning, my sense of tactical advantage. Now, back up!
Warrior: What’s that then? Tactical?
Top Hat: Em. It means thinking strategically!
Warrior: What's that then? Strateg… Er- Um. What you said.
Top Hat: Ugh, Tactical, you dummy!
Warrior: Tactical… Strategical…
Top Hat: Oh, give me strength. Positions, Warrior! AT THE DOUBLE!
Warrior: This is a nice, tactical spot. Quite strategi- Quite good, eh?

Zug: Tied off my end. Right, Zip; I'll stay back here out of sight. You keep a lookout up front.
Zip: Why do I have to be up front? It's scary, I feel vulnerable! You come here, I'll come there, eh?
Zug: Oh no! You'll be much worse off here! Better there, believe me!
Zip: Is it... really bad over there?
Zug: Honestly, Zip? Would I lie to you, now would I?
(Zip moves forward)
Zip: Psst.
(Zug starts shaking)
Zug: Oh no! Please-Mr.-Pirate! I-don't-mean-no-harm! I.-UH.-I. UM.
Zip: No-no-no, Zug, it's me! Zip!
Zug: Stupid! Captain Zero said we're not to move. You nearly scared me!
Zip: If that's only nearly, I'd hate to see you really scared.
Zug: Get to your post!
Zip: I only wanted to see if it is better back there.
Zug: Well it isn't. Stay there and shut up!

Philbert the Bell Buoy: Hello boys, how are ya- [A tarpaulin gets chucked on top of him] -uuoorgh!?

Ten Cents: Cor, it's too spooky for my liking.
Sunshine: I wish I was back workin' up river...
Ten Cents: Sshh, Sshh!
Sunshine: Huh?
Ten Cents: Be Quiet! Yeah, I think I hear something.
Sea Rogue: I'm not gonna make it. Nothing in sight! The tug fleets have rumbled me...
Ten Cents: HEAVE TO, Sea Rogue!
Sea Rogue: What the-HEY?!
Ten Cents: You're cornered, you can't escape!
Sea Rogue: I'm not trying to!
Sunshine: Well done, Ten Cents! He's the Pirate, alright!
Sea Rogue: No, I'm not a real Pirate!
Grampus: We know you're not.
Sunshine: Grampus told us everything.
Ten Cents: He saw you and those two green-eyed things!
Sea Rogue: Did you see the Old Man there, too?
Ten Cents: Everything.
Sea Rogue: We must save him. He's my Uncle! They're holding him to ransom, to make me steal barges. Even if I get one more, they might still sink him.
Ten Cents: Well, Help us to help you. And we'll sink them.
Sea Rogue: Yeah, anything you say. [He hears more tugs coming] Who's that?!
Ten Cents: Quick, let's hide!
Sea Rogue: This way!

Ten Cents: Zip and Zug? They're stupid enough to go in the warehouse.
Sea Rogue: They'll get no quarter if they do.
Sunshine: Ahhh, serve 'em right!
Ten Cents: That gives me an idea. Grampus, go to the warehouse entrance. If the villains leave the shed, save the Old Man. Now let's see what's going on....

Warrior:: Hey, Top Hat, something's going on over there. I'll take a look.
Top Hat:: Warrior. Warrior. Watch that…
(but it's too late as Warrior bumps into the barge and the flare triggers off.)
Top Hat:: Flare! You bright spark, Warrior!
Warrior: Some flare!

Ten Cents: Ah, that's what I call a good night's work! You're heading up-river, Sea Rogue?
Sea Rogue: Yeah. Thanks, Ten Cents.
Ten Cents: Ah, that's all right. The least I could do.
Sea Rogue: Right then, we'd better move. Pirates are not welcome here.
Grampus: Nonsense, you're no pirate!
Sea Rogue: Thank you all for your help.
Sea Rogue's Uncle: Yes, thanks for everything.
Sea Rogue: Come on, old man, let's get you home.
Sea Rogue's Uncle: Oh, that'll be nice...

Ten Cents: (Noticeably sarcastically) Cor, Well, I dunno what we'd have done without your help.
Zug: Well... somebody had to flush them out, so, uh... we did.
Zip: We never really thought you stole the barges.
Ten Cents: Oh no? Could've fooled me.
Sunshine: Weren't you just a little bit scared?
Zug: No... Nothing scares us, does it Zip? [Zug begins reversing, but Zip suddenly realises what's behind them]
Zip: Forward, Zug! Forward! The BARGE!!! [Zug hits the rigged barge, causing the flares to go off. The two tugs are startled and run off screaming]

[V.H.S. Ending]

Sunshine: Heh, They move pretty fast when they're not scared, eh?
Ten Cents: They certainly do! ""[The Star Switchers both laugh]""

[T.V. Broadcast Ending]

Ten Cents: (Chuckles briefly) They move pretty fast when they're not scared, eh?
Sunshine: They certainly do! ""[The Star Switchers both laugh]""
Narrator: It goes to show that you shouldn't be fooled by appearances. Just Because Sea Rogue wore a Black Patch, Didn't mean he must be a pirate...

Regatta/4th of July

[edit]
Ten Cents: Ah, well, that's it, Lillie. Now you can show us the way home.
Sunshine: What would we do without you, eh?
Lillie Lightship: Nice to be appreciated, boys. You'll be in the Regatta parade I suppose. I never see any of it from out here.
Ten Cents: Pity, that.... We'll stick a light and foghorn on Sunshine and anchor him 'ere, so you can.
Sunshine: Hey, do you mind? I'm in the parade too, you know!

Lillie Lightship: (sad) Mayday! Grampus, mayday!
Grampus: What the? Lillie, you're...you're..!
Lillie Lightship: I'm sinking, Grampus, sinking! Please help me, please!
Grampus: Nasty hole, Lillie! Right on your Water Line!

Captain Star: There's an emergency! Lillie Lightship is sinking!
Coast Guard's Messenger: The Captain is correct! She is sinking! The Zeros can't help, so adjust yourselves to the problem, and get organised, okay?!
Captain Star: That's it. You'll have to forget the festivities for a while.
Top Hat: I say, this is an outrage!
Captain Star: This is an emergency job!
Top Hat: I see...

Mighty Mo: Now, listen carefully. I'm gonna lift Lillie a bit. Ten Cents, attach a line to Grampus, and on command, pull him out!

Ten Cents: (quietly) Psst, oi. This might be your lucky day, Lillie. You might get to see the regatta!
Lillie Lightship: Shh! Or everyone might think I did it deliberately.

Warrior: Morning, Jack! Nice day for garbage.
Jack the Grappler: There's no garbage today.
Warrior: What do you mean no garbage today? There's heaps behind you!
Jack the Grappler: No garbage today.
Warrior: But I've gotta have garbage! You know; I've gotta have garbage. His Lordship needs garbage. We all need garbage!
Jack the Grappler: It's the festival day or somethin', so there's no garbage!
Municipal Garbage Foreman: Is that you, Warrior?
Warrior: Er, yes, sir, It's me, sir.
Municipal Garbage Foreman: Have You got Lord Stinker with you?
Warrior: He's here, sir. Empty, and willing to work, sir.
Municipal Garbage Foreman: There's no garbage today, right?
Warrior: Well, er- I can see er- heaps. Er, Piles! Stacks! Er, mountains of garbage!
Municipal Garbage Foreman: You see no garbage, Warrior! Jack'll tell you there is no garbage, eh, Jack?
Jack the Grappler: There's no garbage.
Municipal Garbage Foreman: Repeat after me, Warrior, there ain't no garbage!
Warrior: There ain't no garbage...
Municipal Garbage Foreman: Good! That is settled. Instead, today is Municipal Garbage Day, a festival of garbage!
Warrior: Eh?
Municipal Garbage Foreman: Municipal Garbage Day falls on the same day as the Bigg City Festival, so, to join in all the fun, we, the Garbage Corporation, are gonna' make our own barge float. No flowers or fancy bits, just prime, colourful garbage!
Warrior: I don't believe this...
Jack the Grappler: This is gonna take a very long time, so I'd cut your engine if I was you. Must get started now, heaps to do....
Warrior: Things get stranger and stranger round 'ere! S'pose it is festival day.

Bluenose: Ahoy there! Ahoy! You there!
Big Mac: What do you want? We can't stop, I'm afraid, this load's urgent.
Bluenose: I quite understand, old man, but we are looking for one of our submarines. He is called; Grampus.
Ten Cents: I ain't seen him since we left Lucky's Yard. He saved Lillie Lightship from sinking, so he's probably taking a well-deserved break somewhere.
Bluenose: Aha, that may be so, but he is one of ours, you know. He is not a civilian plaything!
Big Mac: Okay, Bluenose, that's enough. We haven't seen him so make wake, okay? My work's important.
Bluenose: Oh, your work's important! Pahaha! What you need, laddie, is a lesson in Naval discipline! (Grampus arrives) Aha, what has we here- What- [Grampus Squirts water in Bluenose's face] ooohh, What the-?!

(Ten Cents and Big Mac laughs)

Grampus: They're going to blow me up, today.
Ten Cents: Huh?!
Bluenose: That is correct!
Big Mac: What?! But he's been a hero out there with Lillie and you lot are going to blow him up?! That's some kind of thanks.
Bluenose: Ah, you civilian lot may not understand this, but us Naval types know when we are past it. Instead of rottin' in some breaker's yard, we volunteer us for gunnery practice! Targets, you know!
Ten Cents: But that's not fair! He's still a useful submarine, he does lots of things for us!
Bluenose: For you, maybe! For us, he's old and out of date! Now I can't stand around here jawin' with you all day, my work's important. Big Mac will understand that, won't you, sir?
Big Mac: [grunts]
Bluenose: Come on, Grampus! Back to base! Target practice at 1400 hours!
Grampus: Yes Sir.
Ten Cents: Grampus! Grampus, don't go! Dive and hide!
Grampus: It's no use... They'd catch up with me again somewhere. Thanks for all the fun we've had together. Bye, Ten Cents. Bye!
Ten Cents: Bye...
Big Mac: Listen, we can't let this happen. I'll handle the barges, you go off and find O.J., tell him about Grampus. He'll know what to do... We'll save our mate Grampus if it's the last thing we do!
Ten Cents: Right, Big Mac!

Bluenose: Well Grampus, you've been a very good submarine. Haha, we're all sad to see you go. But as you know; the Navy's got no further use for such a small vessel.
Grampus: Proud to have been of service, sir. Thank you. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to time to think.
Bluenose: Hahaha, very well, and good luck, laddie.

(Grampus squirts one last salute of water as Bluenose leaves him)

Grampus: If the modern Navy's gonna' be like him, I'd be better off down with the fishes.
Navy Destroyer: [TV version only] All guns ready for target practice! Stand by to fire at white flags!
Grampus: What th-? Why are they parading out here? They're gonna' be in the line of fire! STAY CLEAR!
Navy Destroyer: [TV version only] Ahoy, Tugs! Clear the area! Keep clear!
Top Hat: It's the destroyer, warning us we're in the danger zone!
O.J.: Ignore it!
Top Hat: What, do you mean? And get a direct hit? No, thank you very much! THEY'RE GOING TO OPEN FIRE!
Navy Destroyer: [TV version only] KEEP CLEAR!
Big Mac: Keep going, Top Hat! The more of us here, the safer we are!
Grampus: Get clear! They're about to start firing!
O.J.: Grampus, just do as I say. Give him a line, Ten Cents!
Ten Cents: Alright, O.J.!
O.J.: Big Mac'll leave the barge in your place. Let's hope all they see from that distance, is the target flags. Right! Keep moving!
Grampus: The Navy's not going to like this! Just leave me here, or you'll all get into trouble! Please... Don't do it!

Zorran: 'Ello, 'ello, 'ello! What's all this then? What's going on?
Top Hat: Clear off, Zorran. It's our business.
Zug: No, it's not! Deal's a deal! Ten Cents said he'd let us in on it!
Ten Cents: No, I never!
Zorran: You lot are up to something! And anyway, you owe us for two barges of timber. Move aside, Top Hat, and let me see.
O.J: Mind your own business, Zorran!
Zorran: I am. This is my business, I'm looking for my timber!
Ten Cents: Well, it isn't here! Just back off and leave us alone. All we've got 'ere is our float for the show.
Zorran: [spots Grampus and laughs maliciously] Some float! Stealing government property, eh? Nice little number, boys, very nice. That's the third crime to report. Captain Zero'll tell the Navy-
Hercules: Move it, Zorran! Old boy.
Zorran: Er, only a game, you understand, Hercules....
Hercules: I know all about your games, Zorran. Beat it! And take your driftwood with you.
Zorran: Oh, I'm going to. You'll hear about it from the Navy! Don't worry.
Top Hat: Yes, I'm off as well.... I wasted far too much time already!
Hercules: Alright, m'dears, I don't think I'll wait around for answers. I want to be in the show, today, too! You can tell me all later. Now, where's Warrior got to...?

Municipal Garbage Foreman: Warrior? Warrior?
Warrior: Yes sir?
Municipal Garbage Foreman: Let’s do a quick check. Barge completed with colourful oil drums and streamers? Yes. His lordship, spic and span? Yes. Jack, wearing colourful hat? Yes. Good! Well, that is it!
Warrior: I just don’t believe this! What are they gonna' say when they see this junk heap?
Lord Stinker: Well, I like the banner; "Municipal Garbage wishes you all a happy day!"
Municipal Garbage Foreman: Ha Ha, Warrior! You can go now, the Regatta's about to start! Just join it, and be proud of the Municipal Garbage Corporation, alright? On your way now, and good luck!
Warrior: Thank you sir! It’s been, er, um, a most enjoyable day!

(Warrior laughs as he and Lord Stinker leaves to join the parade)

Jack the Grappler: Nice job that, very nice job. I can enjoy my day, now. Good luck, Warrior!

Male announcer on-board Princess Alice: Hello, everyone! This is the Princess Alice, welcoming you to the Annual Regatta! Thank you! Now, you know the drill! When the cannon fires, the parade will start! This year, Top Hat, from the Star fleet, will lead off! Enjoy yourselves! There goes Top Hat followed by shipmates O.J., Big Mac and Warrior, all towing splendid barges! They're followed by Zak from the Zero fleet, towing the corporation lightship! Here come Zip and Zug, the Zero switchers, towing a new upriver breakfast, wood and bananas! Ha ha, Following them comes a colourful group: Ten Cents and Sunshine towing Little Ditcher...AND Sally Seaplane! Hello, Sally! And Hercules, just by himself! Never mind, Hercules, maybe next year, OK? Coming from the famous Bridge Cafe, is Zorran, towing the loudest barge of the day! Nice music, guys! Very nice music! Well done, everyone! You all look splendid! The Princess Alice considers this to be the best year yet. This means...and hold it...Yes, that you've all won a prize! Okay, okay, thanks to you all. Now, enough parading; let's get this party going!

Narrator: When night time came, O.J. gathered all the other Star tugs around him outside Lucky's Yard. None of them really knew what was going on.
O.J.: Alright, Lillie, do your bit!
Lillie Lightship: [switches light on] Hello, boys! They repaired me in record time so I could see the Regatta. [gasp] You all look splendid!
Ten Cents: Aw, thank you!
Sunshine: So do you!
Ten Cents: Oi, it's Grampus! And he's got the Star flag!
Grampus: They didn't blow me up today! The Navy sold me to Captain Star, so I'm one of you now!

High Winds

[edit]
Narrator: Johnny Cuba had dropped anchor, waiting 'til he wasn't seen.
Johnny Cuba: Nobody in sight. That's what I like. Time to slip in closer to port and, er.... heh, heh, meet my Business Pals...
Narrator: But Johnny Cuba's idea of a business pal was, like himself, a Gangster.
Coastguard: Ahoy there! Hove to! Customs inspection! You are within port limits! I'm coming aboard! Hey! Watch out! What're you doing?! Careful! Car- Ow! [roughly pushed onto nearby rocks] Aargh!
Johnny Cuba: Ha Ha, Sorry, mate! The wind must've blown me off course! [cackling]

Zebedee: I don't like it 'ere. It's out of bounds to shipping...
Johnny Cuba: Too bad. Now I need Coal, right away! And be quick about it or I'll break yer stack!
Zebedee: You mean steal it?!
Johnny Cuba: Did I say steal? Just get it when nobody's looking!
Zebedee: Yes sir... Right away, sir...
Johnny Cuba: And DON'T try anything fancy! Or you'll find yourself at the bottom of the harbour with cement in your hold! [cackles]
Narrator: Zebedee was now in a terrible situation. Johnny Cuba would sink him if he didn't help him. And because of something that happened years ago between those two, he knew Captain Zero would sink him if he did. So, he couldn't go and tell the Captain, could he? While Zebedee was trying to work this out, he saw the two Star switchers out in the bay struggling with Scuttlebutt Pete.
Scuttlebutt Pete: Come on, you two! Get sorted out or you won't get me home before the storm breaks!
Sunshine: I cannot hold ya, man!
Ten Cents: We're doing our best!
Scuttlebutt Pete: Do better than that! You've got to!
Ten Cents: I can't, the wind's too strong!
Sunshine: What're we gonna do?!
Ten Cents: If only I could fix one more line! Oi! Zebedee! Give us a hand!
Zebedee: Sorry, can't stop! Important job to do.
Ten Cents: Just hold him steady while I get another line aboard, that's all!
Zebedee: Why should I?
Ten Cents: Well, 'cos we're in trouble, that's why!
Sunshine: And you owe us one for the barge!
Zebedee: Alright, just this once, but don't tell Captain Zero!
Ten Cents: That's it... Thanks, Zebedee.
Sunshine: Aye, that's just what we needed.
Zebedee: And not a word, Scuttlebutt!
Scuttlebutt Pete: Me?! I never gossip! Never!
Zebedee: That'll be the day. If Captain Zero knows I helped Star tugs, I'm Rust!

Top Hat: That's odd. I thought I was the only one stuck with coal deliveries today. I wonder what's he up to? I think I'd better check with Captain Star...

Warrior: Hey, Big Mac! I've just heard from Sally Seaplane that Hercules has got the Princess Alice in tow.
Big Mac: Mmm, sounds serious.
Warrior: Yeah, been damaged at sea.
Big Mac: Not another of your disasters, Warrior?
Warrior: Not me, honest!
Big Mac: [laughs] I was joking! Come on, we'll tell O.J., then go out and bring her in.
Warrior: Yeah. Anything to help the Princess Alice!

Coastguard: Never thought I'd be glad to see you Zebedee!
Zebedee: What?! Oh dear, how'd a Coastguard get in this mess?
Coastguard: Johnny Cuba pushed me into the rocks. My engine's dead, I need a tow.
Zebedee: Johnny who?!?
Coastguard: Don't play dumb with me, I hear Zero & Johnny are good buddies.
Zebedee: Oh, well, not any-more. Our capt-
Coastguard: Aha?! So you do know him!

Captain Star: Docking a liner can be a hazardous business for tugs, especially with cross currents and the danger of this high wind. Usually the liner can assist, but the Princess Alice couldn't do much due to the damage to her rudder. With all their expertise and experience, the Star Tug team were finding her very difficult to keep under their control...
Hercules: What's happening back there? Come on, Stars!
Big Mac: She's not responding, Hercules! The wind's too strong!
Ten Cents: I can't hold on much longer!
Hercules: Full power, everybody!
Warrior: I'm pulling full-steam, can't do no more!
O.J.: We need another tug! Just one more'd do it!
Fire Tug: Sorry, I can't help! I'm needed in case of fire!
O.J.: Come on, lads, hold it!
Sunshine: Oh, look out, I'm in TROUBLE!
O.J.: Come on, somebody!
Ten Cents: We're losing it! We'll be crushed between ship and quayside!
Zebedee: This is two you owe me, switchers!
Ten Cents: Zebedee! Aw, thanks, just in time! You're a lifesaver!
O.J.: Thank you, Zebedee! She's under control again!
Warrior: Got her, O.J.!
Sunshine: Aw hey, thanks, Zebedee.
Zebedee: Zero'll have my boiler for this...

Zebedee: [Clears Throat] Hello, Mr Cuba sir.
Johnny Cuba: Well well well it's Zebee back again. Keep doing as Johhny Cuba Tells ya, and you'll come to no harm, ya with me?
Zebedee: Yes Mr Cuba, the winds stopping-
Johnny Cuba: Right, there's a few other little things I want you to do for me before we go. Now listen, this is what I Wan-
Zebedee: Oh! Oh! Uh, it's Hercules!
Hercules: Hello, what's going on here? Oh, yes, Zebedee! And where are you taking our friend, the well-known Johnny Cuba, eh?
Zebedee: Oh. Well- I-
Johnny Cuba: What's it to you, Star?
Hercules: We know you, Johnny Cuba. Up to no good. We'll hand him over to the authorities, Zebedee, they may like to have a word with him.
Johnny Cuba: No, ya don't! [fires up his engine]
Zebedee: Wait a minute!
Narrator: The gangster tried to back out, but collided with Zebedee.
Zebedee: You're not going anywhere!
Narrator: Just to make sure, Zebedee rammed into Johnny Cuba, trapping him against the quayside.
Hercules: Well done, Zebedee, m'dear! Come on, let's take him in.
Johnny Cuba: I'll break your stack for this one! THEY CAN'T HOLD JOHNNY CUBA!
Narrator: The authorities did hold Johnny Cuba, and gave official thanks to Zebedee and Hercules.

Ten Cents: Look who's here! The Z-Stacks' hero!
Sunshine: Hiya, Zebedee! Congratulations.
Zebedee: Yeah... Not bad, was it?
Ten Cents: You were great.
Zebedee: Captain Zero's over the moon now Johnny Cuba can't get at him.
Ten Cents: Yeah. Thanks for helping us with Scuttlebutt Pete.
Zebedee: Just forget about that, will you? Captain Zero wouldn't be pleased to hear about that....
Ten Cents and Sunshine: [in a slightly sarcastic manner] Oh dear...
Zebedee: Yeah, nor Zorran neither.
Sunshine: We won't tell, don't you worry, kidda.
Zebedee: You'd better not, I've had enough troubles today.... Well, I'll see you fellas, eh?
Ten Cents: Oh, Zebedee... If you ever think of leaving the Z-Stacks...
Zebedee: What? You crazy? Today was today, okay?!
Ten Cents: Oh. Yeah, well... Just a thought.
Zebedee: Yeah? Well you think too much...
Captain Star: After that day, things continued much as they were. But Zebedee showed that everyone must have a good streak in them somewhere. Even Z-Stacks!

Warrior

[edit]
Big Boulder foreman: 'Ere, Warrior! What a promotion! Great to see you off garbage detail!
Warrior: Thanks! Big Mac and me'll make a great team. We'll shift this lot quicker than the Z-Stacks.
Big Boulder foreman: Oh, I don't doubt it, Warrior. But no accidents, eh? Give Big Mac a break.
Warrior: Me? I won't have no accidents, promise! [sets off with barge]
Big Boulder foreman: Right, well, good luck then, Warrior! And remember, be careful!
Warrior: [stops] What? [is hit by his own barge] Whoops! Course I'm careful!
Big Boulder foreman: I hope that isn't a bad start to the day for ya!
Warrior: I'll do me best, guv'nor!

Warrior: Hey, there's Izzy! What a bonus if I could tow him as well... Ahoy, Izzy Gomez, wake up!
Izzy: Sí, er, what time is eet? Oh, Warrior, it's you.
Warrior: Want a tow? Give you a good price.
Izzy: Aye yi yi, you wake me up to tell me funny jokes, eh?
Warrior: It's no joke. I'll give you a special rate. Say; One Hundred?
Izzy: Not even for Ten, gringo. Now you wake me so early, I have all thees daylight and the sea, she' very calm.
Warrior: Wha? You wouldn't go in on your own?
Izzy: Maybe I do, maybe I don't...
Warrior: You are crazy, Izzy. Risking going in on your own for measly hundred.
Izzy: (Moans to himself) Umph!
Warrior: Anyway, it's against the law!
[as Warrior leaves, the tow line slips loose and this barge hits and scrapes Izzy]
Izzy: Aye yi yi!
[the slipping line tightens again]
Izzy: I think she is less risk than you tow me, eh, Warrior? Hehehe!

Sunshine: Oh Dear, Hey er, Stop Dredging! Er, I say Warrior...
Warrior: Oh, ha. Morning Fellas, And Pearl. it looks like it's gonna be a Great Day.
Sunshine: Oi, LOOK OUT! [as Warrior stops suddenly, his barge bumps him, again.] Oh, hey, Whoops. What're Ya towin'?
Warrior: Oh, you noticed. No more garbage for me, at least for now. Captain Star's put me on the rock contract for the new dock foundations. Just what was to be expected, really, being such a powerful tug and all. Well, gotta go now. Bye!
Pearl and Sunshine: Congratulations, Warrior! [Warrior's barge bumps Little Ditcher spinning him around]
Little Ditcher: Oh! Dear!
Sunshine: Dear me... Hey, Little Ditcher, are- Are you all right, eh?
Little Ditcher: Bit diz-zy!
Sunshine: Hey, you gotta laugh though, eh? Look, Pearl! He's gonna become the first floating Merry-go-round!
Little Ditcher: [sarcastically] Oh, aye, thanks a lot, Warrior(!)
Warrior: Can't stop. BYE!

[Izzy is asleep until Big Mac past him on his way to the Quarry]
Big Mac: Well, if it isn't my old amigo, Izzy. Want a tow?
Izzy: Eh, You Stars never let anyone siesta in peace. I already tell Warrior, I no need no tow!
Big Mac: Don't blow your stack! I only asked. You already promised a tow to another tug?
Izzy: Uh uh… See listen, I… I don't need you tugs fussing around me all the time. Okay?!
Big Mac: Sorry I asked... Go back to sleep, Izzy.
(so Izzy goes back to sleep until the Z-Stacks pass by)
Izzy: You want to tow me as well, huh, Z-Stacks?
Zorran: Get lost, Izzy!
Izzy: Eh, Gringo, been out in the sun to long... Eh, gringos, who needs them? I think I try to sail into port without a tow.

Big Mac: Keep going! I can carry more than that!
Quarry Master: When you’re loaded up, say "when".
[Zorran, Zebedee and Zak arrive at the Quarry.]
Zorran: You’re taking on a lot there, Big Mac. Eh, heh!
Big Mac: Nothing to do with you with how much I carry.
Zorran: Eh heh. Just commenting, that’s all. Weren’t we, lads?
Zebedee: All, right. Up to him if he thinks he can tow that much.
Big Mac: Three Zero harbour tugs just to pull 'two' barges?! Warrior and I have got you licked! Two of us can pull that much!
Zorran: Quality and quantity. We’ll see by the end of the day, we’ll see. (To Zebedee and Zak) Heh, er, watch this, fellas... (To Big Mac) Uh, I see Warrior’s up to no good again, this morning. He’s a menace to every ship in the harbour!
Narrator: The trick was typically Zorran. Keep making insulting remarks about Warrior to get Big Mac angry, so as to forget his barge was still loading and settling dangerously low in the water.
Zorran: Yeah, I mean; Why doesn’t Captain Star sell Warrior off? He’s worse than useless!
Big Mac: What? Useless?! He’s one of the best workers in the port! Just you remember that, Zorran!
[Grampus surfaces next to Big Mac.]
Grampus: Hey, Big Mac, watch it!
Big Mac: Oh, hello, Grampus. Why? What’s up?
Grampus: Your barge is getting low in the water!
Big Mac: Huh?! Oh no! My barge! Wait! Stop loading!!! You’ll have to take some rocks back! My barge is overloaded!
Zorran: Overloaded? I thought you were as strong as all of us put together.
Big Mac: Didn’t say I couldn’t handle it!
Zorran: Eh ha ha! Off you go then. Let us "weaklings" watch in amazement.
Big Mac: (Angrily) Well, uh. Right. [Slowly sets off...] Stay clear, Grampus!
Zorran: Yeah, Watch he don’t crush you, Grampus!
Zebedee: Hey, we may laugh, but with loads like that, we’ll never beat them.
Zorran: Don’t be so stupid. He can’t travel very fast with his barge so low in the water. Any wake will wash over it and sink it! Won’t it?
Zebedee: Hey, er... That is devious!

Izzy: Viva, viva, viva! You guys is always trying to tell me I need a tow! Move out of my way please!

Big Mac: [feeling guilty about what happened earlier] Shouldn’t have let Zorran trick me into taking such a heavy load, Grampus.
Grampus: You’re doing alright. Just keep it nice and steady.
Big Mac: Good thing the harbour's so flat, today. Any waves and this barge would be awash and sink for sure.
Grampus: Yes, you're lucky... Oh no!
[Warrior rushes towards them at a fast pace.]
Big Mac: Warrior, SLOW DOWN!
Grampus: Dive, DIVE!
Warrior: Hey Big Mac. You beat those Z-Stacks. I'll have another load in no time!
Big Mac: Warrior, watch out! Your wake'll sink my barge!
(it's too late as Big Mac's overloaded barge and all the rocks sink)
Big Mac: Warrior! WARRIOR!
Warrior: What's happened?
Big Mac: I told you to slow down! Yer' wash sank my barge!
Warrior: But I... Big Mac... Sorry!
Big Mac: You'll have to get a crane. I'll back up to mark the spot where the barge sank.

Ten Cents: Come on, Zip! Zug, help me out!
Zug: I'll have to go ask Captain Zero. It's your salvage.
Ten Cents: Never mind salvage! Tugs should help each other!
Coast Guard: I'll get help! I'll get Big Mac!
Top Hat: Ten Cents, you alright? Why aren't those two idiots helping you?
Ten Cents: Zip and Zug? They're waiting for me to become a pile of junk!
Zip and Zug: Oh no no! No! No!
Top Hat: Yes, well I'll report them for this!
Zug: What for? Ten Cents said it was his salvage. He did. Didn't he, Zip?
Zip: Well, yes. Yes!
Ten Cents: Yeah well you said that. not me!
Top Hat: [Propping Gomez up using Lord stinker] I can't get under there, Ten Cents. I'm too tall! But Lord Stinker can help.
Izzy Gomez: [Taking one whiff at the Garbage barge] Phwoar! What a stink, I'd rather sink!

[Suddenly, a rope holding Izzy weakens, and he slides a little way.]

Izzy Gomez: [Quickly changing his mind] Ay yi yi!

Warrior: I'm not gonna' mess this up!
Big Mac: [arrives to help] Need a hand here, fellas? Ah, Warrior looks like he's got it under control.
Ten Cents: Oh, couldn't have lasted this long without him!
Warrior: Mighty Mo, Scuttlebutt, take the strain on these ropes.
Scuttlebutt Pete: Aye aye, Guv'nor.
Mighty Mo: Got 'em, Warrior!
Warrior: Push!

[Warrior, Big Mac & Ten Cents all strain]

Narrator: The hulk of Izzy Gomez, full of bananas, was at last forced back off the rocks by the three Star tugs.
Coast Guard and Grampus: You've done it!
Big Mac: I reckon this makes up for sinking my barge, Warrior.
Ten Cents: I reckon it makes up for everything.

Zorran: What's up 'ere? Another of Warrior's disasters, eh?
Warrior: Now look here you guys, it was..!
Coast Guard: Ignore them Warrior, we all know it wasn't you're fault. It's you zeroes that are the disasters.
Zorran: What?!
Coast Guard: Zip and Zug have lost you your chance of the rock contract. Their behaviour has been despicable.
(as the Coast Guard explains what Zip and Zug have done, the two switchers try to find their words, but they can't)
Top Hat: I couldn't have put it better myself.
Coast Guard: As for you, Izzy; I'll report this. Coming in without a tow means a hefty fine!
(the stars all laugh at Izzy predicament)

Old Rusty: [After a sleeping Warrior bumps into him] Ow!
Warrior:: [wakes up] You stupid, old, rust tub! Why don't you look where you're going?
Old Rusty: [chuckling] What do you mean, where am I going? I've been anchored off here for 2 years!
Warrior: Oh. Well--er--yes. Sorry. It's been a long day. Must've dozed off.
Old Rusty: [chuckles] Oh, clumsy old tug, that Warrior! But it wouldn't half be boring without him! [starts chuckling again]
Narrator: Warrior might have bumped into things, but I couldn't have done without him. He was a valuable member of my star tug team. (short chuckle) A striker, you might call him!

High Tide

[edit]
Narrator: Bigg City Port, never ceased working: Operations carried out throughout the night were continued in the early mornings. Goods stacked high along the Docksides were brought into port; by Road, and by Rail. The Lorries and Wagons were then reloaded with cargo from incoming Tramp-steamers, Ferries and Liners, for delivery to Inland cities and towns. Everyone and every method of Transport played a part in moving goods into and out of the Port. The work of our Tugs was an important link in the chain; it was non-stop and round the clock. The lifeblood of the whole operation was Coal; without this dirty stuff, Industry would've ground to a halt! On this very busy day; Big Mac arrived at the Briefing, having worked all night.

Top Hat: You know, it never fails to amaze me. Every day, I see something new. Today it's the sight of a floating sack of coal, no less! [laughing]
Big Mac: If you'd been shifting coal, you'd be dirty!
Top Hat: (sniffing Big Mac for a second) Well, at least you don't smell, that's something. (Laughs mockingly with the others)
Big Mac: Look here, Top Hat-!
Warrior: Course he don't smell, Top Hat. Coal don't have a smell!
Top Hat: I know it doesn't, Warrior, but he could get a hose down before coming to join us. We Star Tugs have a reputation to keep up! Even you, Warrior, after a day in the garbage yards, don't look too scruffy!
Big Mac: All you worry about is keeping that piece of glass on your eye clean!
Top Hat: Not only my monocle, all of me!
Big Mac: 'Cause you always get out of nasty jobs, don't ye?
Captain Star: Alright, alright, cut the backchat! Ah- At least one Star Tug's already been working.
Top Hat: Ha! Well, we can see that!
Captain Star: Yeah, that's enough, Top Hat! You go and stretch your neck with car ferry duties, then take the garbage barge to the city dump.
Warrior: That'll be nice for ya!
Top Hat: Garbage? Me? Do I have to put up with this?
Big Mac: I have to put up with you, Top Hat.
Warrior: Yeah.
Captain Star: Top Hat, why do I always have an argument with you? Now move out, come on.
Top Hat: Yes sir. Of course. I'm so sorry.
Warrior: Bye, Top Hat.
Top Hat: But I don't see why-
Big Mac: Get on with it!
Top Hat: Oh well, here goes. (Breathes in) Really?! Some people are so tiresome...
Sunshine: (laughs shortly) Y'know, to be fair to him, he does work as hard as we do, really.
O.J.: We know. It's just his attitude gets too much sometimes.

Zak: Well, well, well. The Star tugs. 'Ere, What time d'you call this, eh? You needn't've bothered. There's no work for you. We've got it all sewn up.
Zebedee: Yeah, you said it, Zak.
Big Mac: We've as much right to go for this contract as you have.
Zak: Think you'll do a better job, big mouth?! You ain't got no chance! Three against one, see, no chance!
Warrior: What do you mean, three against one? There's only two of ya.
Zebedee: Well, you don't do much 'cept get in the way, Warrior, so we count you on our side. Heh heh heh. Can't stop here all day, we've work to do.
Zak: So long, losers.
Big Mac: Zak's engine doesn't sound too healthy, Warrior. Hey, Big Mickey, how about a real fast load up?
Big Mickey: I'm ready for you! I heard what they said. Hope you beat 'em to it!
Big Mac: We will, no problem.

Zebedee: Told you about your engine, Zak. You've should've had it seen to.
Zak: [surrounded by smoke] Nothing wrong with it. Anyway, I've got an idea to fool those two, Listen: If we cut through the canal, we'll get there first. Got to. If they follow us, they can't get past cause it's not wide enough. Right...?
Zebedee: Brilliant, I don't know how you do it. Hey, let's go. Wait till we tell Cap'n Zero how we beat them.

Big Mac: See, we're catching 'em! ...hello, what are they up to?
Warrior: They're heading for the canal.
Big Mac: I know that. That's it, they're taking a shortcut!
Warrior: Alright, we'll follow 'em!
Big Mac: No, we won't. They won't get through, it's high tide.
Warrior: So what?
Big Mac: Bridges, Warrior, bridges!
Warrior: So what?
Big Mac: High tide, high load. [The Goods Engine crosses a bridge pulling three wagons]
Warrior: Oh yeah. Bridges...
Big Mac: Ten out of ten. They won't get that load under, will they? Let them go. They'll have to come back, and we'll be out of sight!

Top Hat: Go into reverse if you please, it's MY Water. [A Passenger Train crosses the bridge pulling two carriages]
Top Hat: I repeat, it is MY WATER!
Zak: We're Heavier!
Top Hat: My load is WIDER!
Zebedee: You've Five Seconds to back up!
Top Hat: What, Well, so have YOU then...
Zak: Right, FIVE!
Eddie: He means it, Top Hat!
Top Hat: I am coming through, FOUR!
Zebedee: So am I, THREE!
Top Hat: We'll see! TWO!
Zak: ONE! Get to the bridge fast, Zeb, and you’ve got him!
Zebedee: Watch my wake! That Star's met his match!
Narrator: Both Zebedee and Top Hat put on full power and surged forwards towards each other and the bridge.
Lord Stinker: Top Hat, look at his load!
Top Hat: He's going to hit! Hold on, I'm going into reverse!
Zebedee: He's backin' up! Didn't I tell you, Zak?
Zak: Didn't even make a fight of it! (laughs, but stops) Oh no.... I see why now; the bridge! Zeb! REVERSE ENGINES! QUICK!!!
Zebedee: Oh no! I- I can't stop! Ooooh, no! ...help!
Top Hat: That's real Zero thinking, dummy.
Zebedee: I s'pose Zak an' I'd better go and get some help...

(Top Hat hears an engine's whistle)
Top Hat: That’s a mail train, isn't it? Oh dear, the bridge! It's... It's... Wait a minute! I've got it! If I can get that steel rig under the bridge; maybe it'll hold while the train gets across. It's worth a try.
Lord Stinker: Don't waste time cutting me free. Take me with you.
Top Hat: You'll take that risk, Stinker?
Lord Stinker: Of course I will, it's only rubbish.
Narrator: Top Hat's idea was to try and prop up the bridge, if he could get the steel rig into place before the train got there. It was signalled through, so there was no way anybody could stop it.
(Top Hat and Lord Stinker pulls the steel rig's barge into place)
Top Hat: (Straining) Pull!!!
Narrator: The bridge was weakened by the accident. Top Hat could only hope his idea would work. There was no way of warning the train!

(Top Hat and Lord Stinker had manage to save the mail train by propping the steel rig under the bridge and it holds up long enough for the mail train to pass.)
Top Hat: Phew… That was lucky.
Lord Stinker: Well done, Top Hat. You saved the-
Top Hat: Oh, LOOK OUT!
(the rig keels over & falls into the water.)
Top Hat: This is terrible!
(without the steel rig, the bridge starts to buckle, then they hear another engine whistle)
Top Hat: Oh, no, I know that whistle!
Eddie: It's the Goods Train!
(Little Owl the goods engine makes it's way towards the bridge just as it breaks apart completely with it now sloping down into the water)
Top Hat: We can't save this one! It’s IMPOSSIBLE!
Lord Stinker: No it’s not! Push me under that rail, quick!
Top Hat: What? Oh yes, I see. I get the idea! Right!
(Top Hat shoves Stinker through the debris so that the rails lead to his hold)
Top Hat: If this doesn’t work, you’ll be in danger yourself, Stinker!
Lord Stinker: I know. Don’t remind me. Just get me under the end of that rail!
(Top Hat pushed Lord Stinker into place, and Stinker's idea works, Little Owl lands safely in Stinker's hold, its wagons veer into the canal.)
Top Hat: It’s worked, Stinker! You’re a smelly old genius, nothing less!
Eddie: Hmm, took some brain to save that train...
Lord Stinker: Oh, I say, hehe.
Top Hat: I’ll never complain about your smell again.
Lord Stinker: Rubbish can be valuable stuff.

Ten Cents: Cor, well that's been a hard day, but we're all cleared up now.
Sunshine: Yep. I bet everybody else had a really easy day waiting for the tide to go down...
Ten Cents: Yeah, 'ere I bet Top Hat delivered Lord Stinker, then moored up somewhere quiet.
Sunshine: Yeah. Somehow, he always manages it to take it nice and easy...

Narrator: Next day, work started on the bridge. There was no serious damage to the Goods engine, and its wagons were easily recovered from the canal. The Steel company weren't pleased with the damage the Z stacks had done to their Steel rig... However, it came out alright in the end. The Steel company got the contract for repairing the bridge and, ha ha, I had no difficulty in convincing them, that my Star tugs should get the contract for delivering the steel.

Munitions

[edit]
Narrator: To run a fleet of tugs, you have to prepared to take on any job. One of the most difficult and dangerous was handling the big Naval Munition Ships. On this day, I remember Hercules had towed the naval tramper, Kraka-Toa, in from the base up the coast. Usually, a familiar and safe routine, but it had been a rough journey, real rough. And as if that wasn’t enough, he had to suffer Bluenose; the officious naval tug.
Bluenose: Attention! Attention! You! Hercules!
Hercules: 'Attention' nothing. I'm finished here, old darling. Moving out.
Bluenose: Oh, no you don't! Not til' I check things out!
Hercules: Check all you like, sweetheart. I'm needed elsewhere.
Bluenose: You're under Navy jurisdiction! Obey orders, and wait til I've made my inspection!
Hercules: I am under jurisdiction; Captain Star's. A little wakewasher like you doesn't tell me what to do!
Bluenose: Aha! We'll see about that, laddie! Hercules, here! Wait! Stay right where you are! That is an order!
Hercules: Toodle-oo!
Bluenose: Upstart civilian! I'll get you in a Naval convoy one day and I'll teach you a lesson or two! And then you'll know what orders are all about!

Zorran: Now listen, you two: Towin' this lot's the tricky bit. Zak, move off first.
Zak: Right.
Zorran: Go slow and don't take any nonsense from the Star mob. Show them explosives don't scare us. If they come too close, just-
Zak: BLOW THEM UP!!!
Zorran: Yeah... but with your hooter, dummy. No silly games, okay? You don't have to be that brave.
Zak: Okay Zorran, sir.
Zorran: And watch out for the Naval twerp Bluenose. Your job is to deliver that barge directly to Naval tramper, Kraka-Toa. If Bluenose gives you different orders, ignore him and refer him to me. Just keep it steady. Keep flying that danger flag! Zebedee! Next!
Zebedee: That Bluenose told me he was in charge and that I must obey orders.
Zorran: You are; Mine, remember that.
Zebedee: I'll remember that, Zorran, sir....
Zorran: Eat your heart out, Star Stacks. This trip's worth twenty garbage barges, ferry trips or girder tows. Heh... if we don't get blown up. Right, easy does it...

(Zorran is loading the final munitions into Kraka-Toa during night time.)
Zorran: I'll be glad to get rid of this lot...
Bluenose: Attention! Attention!
Zorran: Oh no, here we go...
Bluenose: I'm coming alongside! Move aside! You, with the circle on your funnel, move!
Zorran: (irate) Eh? What, mean me, mister, do you?
Bluenose: Yeah, you, mister! Move that barge! My load's first.
O.J.: You shouldn't move a barge that's being unloaded.
Bluenose: Get pensioned off, old timer! This is my pool, I say what goes!
O.J.: Bah...
Zebedee: Go and draw your pension, O.J., you're past it!
Zorran: Shut it, the paddler's right. We're not moving that barge, mister!

(The munitions fire has started, thanks to Bluenose bumping Zorran's barge to move it out of the way.)
Big Mickey: Emergency! Emergency! Clear the area immediately!
Bluenose: STAY STILL, AND OBEY ORDERS!
(The munitions begin to explode.)
O.J.: Move out! Move out! Save yourselves! Ten Cents, cut your barge rope, and pull free.
Ten Cents: My barge is clear, but Bluenose is blocking the way!
Bluenose: I know what to do. Stay still, and don't panic!
Ten Cents: Oh, come on, Bluenose, cast off, let's get outta here!
Bluenose: I can't! I CAN'T! (A big explosion comes dangerously close.) I CAN'T!
Ten Cents: Try harder! Go on!
Bluenose: My engine's cut out!
Ten Cents: O.J.! His engine's out! I'm going in to help!
Zorran: Don't be a fool, Ten Cents! Get out of there!
O.J.: He's right! Move!
Zorran: He's got himself into this! Leave him!
O.J.: It's too dangerous, Ten Cents!
Ten Cents: You're coming with me, Bluenose!
Big Mickey: Keep going, Ten Cents! Keep going! The tramper's on fire! It'll blow any second!
Bluenose: (Ten Cents starts pulling Bluenose away.) Don't you move me! I've got my--hic! My orders, and my orders say I am loading fuel there!
Ten Cents: You can load all you want after I get you out of here. Hey, O.J.! What should I do with him?
O.J.: Put him at the back, out the way, we don't want any more of his orders.
Bluenose: Oi! This is a mutiny! Take me back immediately! Obey orders! Obey orders! Orders is orders!
(Not seconds after Ten Cents has moved Bluenose, alarm klaxons start to blare in response to the fire. Worse yet, Big Mickey's dock erupts in flames, beginning to come apart.)
Zorran: Oh no! Big Mickey's dock is going up!
O.J: Move out, everyone! He's going over!
Big Mickey: Stay where you are! I'll jib clear!
Zorran: Just hope Mickey gets it right, otherwise he'll sink us all!
(More explosions occur.)
Ten Cents: BIG MICKEY!
(Mickey keels over as the dock beneath him collapses.)
Zorran: Ahh, he's done it. He's falling sideways.
Bluenose: HEEELLLLLLLLP!
(Mickey tumbles into the water with a huge splash, and sinks underneath.)
Narrator: [TV version only] And lying in shallow water saved Big Mickey from both fire and explosion.
Ten Cents: That was too close for comfort!
O.J: It took real skill to make that move.
Ten Cents: He saved us all for sure... but the fire's getting out of control!
O.J: They'll have heard the siren for sure. The Fire Tug'll reach us any minute. Just wish he were here now....
Zak: Fire Tug won't be much good... LOOK AT THAT TRAMPER!
(Kraka-Toa has caught fire, and is starting to be blown apart by her load.)

Eddie: Someone's having a dockside celebration.
Top Hat: Oh, no, if there was a party, I would have been invited.
Frank: Perhaps they don't need a long-necked highbrow. (he and Eddie laugh)
Top Hat: Very droll. They certainly won't want lowlifes like you there. I say, what's that?
Fire Tug: Emergency! Emergency! Get them tied off and follow on, Top Hat! Might need all hands!
Sunshine: [VHS version] Yeah, follow on, Top Hat! Fire at the old dock!
Sunshine: [TV version] Yeah, Top Hat, follow on! Fire at the old dock!
Top Hat: I'd love to join you, but these two are in a right state!
Eddie: Always our fault, eh, Frank?
Frank: Never 'is, eh, Eddie?
Eddie: He could take us along. D'like to see a fire.
Top Hat: The only fire you're going to see -- I can tell you this for a fact -- is the one I will set under your tracks if you DON'T GET A MOVE ON!
Both Frank and Eddie: (Sarcastically) Ooooohhh!
Top Hat: There!

Zorran: The Aft hold has blown, now the fire will really spread.
Ten Cents: I feel so helpless...
Zebedee: Cor! They were really big explosions!?
Zorran: There's more to come yet! Just you wait, she was nearly fully loaded before that Naval twit arrived. What's on board'll rip her apart.
Ten Cents: Isn't there anything we can do?
Zorran: Like what, dummy? Anyway, you've done your bit. Just sit back and watch.
Ten Cents: But it's spreading! And that means Puffa, the dockside will go up!
O.J.: You're right Ten Cents. Come on everyone, shout and warn Puffa!
(The tugs shouts to Puffa to go on and he does just missing an explosion, however as Puffa makes it out, a small warehouse explodes)
Ten Cents: Oh, look over there!
(the fire hits the Star Line petrol barge and catches fire)
O.J.: That's all we needed! The petrol's caught fire!
Ten Cents: And that tank's fully loaded! I must try and get it out to sea!
O.J.: Don't do it, stay back! If that blows, it'll take you with it!

Lord Stinker: What's that?
Warrior: What's what?
Lord Stinker: That!
(Warrior, while distracted, accidentally causes Lord Stinker to hit the dockside.)
Lord Stinker: It's -- ouch! Be careful! It's a red sky. "Red sky at night: sailors' delight.".
Warrior: The sun went down ages ago. And that's north, not west!
(A slight pause.)
Both Warrior and Lord Stinker: FIRE!

Warrior: Fire! Fire!
Fire Tug: Just in time, Warrior! Use your fire hose on that barge and the oil yard, quick!
Warrior!: Yes, sir! Right away, sir! I'll do me' best, sir!
Zorran: There's two things wrong with that order, mister. Warrior don't move fast. His lights may be on but there's no one there.
Fire Tug: At least he's in there, Zorran.

Sunshine: Hey, the building's on fire now! Oh, I can't seem to stop it! It's- Oh!
(the building explodes)
Fire Tug: Just keep flaming water on it Sunshine! Stop the spread! Stop the spread!
(the oil tanks then starts exploding)
Fire Tug: Warrior, get out of there! It's going to blow!
Warrior: I can control it, sir! Don't worry!
(Warrior spectates the explosions with surprise.)
Warrior: Wow!
(One explosion sends a piece of debris into Warrior's face!)
Warrior: Ooh! That bit hit me!
Fire Tug: Move back Warrior! Move back!
Warrior: No sir, I've gotta look after Puffa. He's a mighty valuable and good friend. Got to look after you're friends you know.
Fire Tug: Okay, Warrior. 'Ere Zorran, give me a hand with this fire barge. We got to try and save that tramper.
Zorran: Huh. Can't see this barge doing much good mister. Ha. But, you're in charge.
Zebedee: Go on Zorran. Show them who's a real hero.

Ten Cents: This is getting too dangerous. (coughing) The tank's blistering badly. Oh no, it's starting to smoke! It's gonna go any second! I gotta get out of here!
(But as Ten Cents merely starts to back away, the petrol barge explodes. Sunshine hears the explosion and starts worrying.)
Sunshine: Ten Cents! It's Ten Cents! The oil-barge! I must--!
O.J.: Stay put, Sunshine! You're needed here.
Sunshine: But he might need help!
O.J.: Just stay where you are!

(The dockyard fire has gone down, successfully contained, but Kraka-Toa has been completely destroyed by her payload. Her hull and decks obliterated, she capsizes with a last, dull blast from her smokestack.)
O.J: Phew... just look at the state of the dockside!
Fire Tug: Yeah, but that's nothing compared with what could have happened. If Sunshine and Warrior hadn't contained the fire, it could've easily spread to the city. Well done, all of ya'.
(Top Hat is now on the scene, just seconds late to contribute.)
Top Hat: Oh, dear. Seems I'm too late to save the day. What a pity!
Zorran: Heh. Well, well, well! Get a drift of that, will you, lads?! Top Hat, all dressed up and nowhere to go! (He laughs mockingly, alongside Zak and Zebedee.)

(Morning. Ten Cents hasn't returned from pushing his flaming petrol barge out to sea to prevent it exploding in the harbour.)
Sunshine: Ten Cents should have been back by now...
O.J.: We must all salute a very brave tug, who saved us fr-...
(A familiar tugboat's horn is heard.)
Sunshine: Hey, I know that whistle! It's--! IT'S TEN CENTS!
(Ten Cents emerges from the morning fog, being pulled by Grampus. He is covered in ash, and is battered, but alive.)
Sunshine: Ten Cents, what a mess! What happened?
Ten Cents: Well, just as I started reversing, it blew to smithereens! Nearly took me with it. Lights went out, water in me engine... didn't know if I could make it back. But thanks to Grampus, I did.
Sunshine: Hey, you're the luckiest tug around, lad!
O.J.: And probably the bravest, too!
Grampus: Well, I've been used for a few strange jobs before; but never have I brought in a switcher, and taken away... a twitcher! (He tows Bluenose away while laughing.)

Captain Star: [Outro, VHS version] The accident was caused by a few hasty words and bad temper. Orders may be orders but they don't supersede common sense. Bluenose was right in his way, as were Ten Cents and O.J. right in theirs, but common sense from all three would have prevented the fire starting. Always respect fire. If you don't, it will destroy you, your surroundings and your friends.

Captain Star: [Outro, TV version] That all happened because of a few hasty words and bad tempers. Orders may be orders, but they blinded Bluenose from using simple common sense, and from keeping level-headed. So, a tiny incident grew into a big disaster, and the old dock was left in ruins. We should have the greatest respect for fire. Just think what might have happened to Ten Cents and his friends, just because Bluenose didn't.

Quarantine

[edit]
Top Hat: Ugh, if the sun gets any stronger today, my varnish will bubble for certain!
O.J: It's the longest heatwave I can remember.
Top Hat: And You go back to the Ice Age, O.J, by the sound of your engine.

Captain Star: 6:30's briefing time!
Ten Cents: Sorry, Cap'n. We've been at the water docks.
Captain Star: You know the scrap yard dealers are looking for useless tugs, don't you? Now, next time you're late; I'll ask them what they offer for a couple of switchers. Understand?!
Ten Cents: Yes, Cap'n, but-
Captain Star: Ten Cents, O.J's engine's playing up. He's at the fire station picking up your barge.
Ten Cents: Huh?
Captain Star: Now if he's alright, join the others waiting for schooners and trampers getting clearance from quarantine.
Ten Cents: Understand, Cap'n!
Captain Star: One for you, Sunshine: Bring in the tramper, Nantucket.
Sunshine: Old Dirtbucket...
Captain Star: No wisecracks, just get moving!
Sunshine: He wouldn't really sell us for scrap, would he...?
Ten Cents Not unless we were late every day. I hope not, anyway...

Sunshine: Aw no, Ten Cents, what happened?
Ten Cents: Well, don't gawp! Go and get the emergency services, fast as you can!
Sunshine: Er, right!
Narrator: Burke and Blair had a second go at me. Hah, they never give up.
Blair: Ah, Captain Star...
Captain Star: What?!
Blair: About O.J..... That ancient engine of his is finished and so is he. Isn't he, Mr. Burke?
Burke: We don't sit around our breakers' yard watching our staff turn old boats into scrap. do we, Mr. Blair?
Blair: Always on the lookout for who's next to go. That's our business, and O.J.'s top of our list...

Ten Cents: Oh, good. Here comes the Coast Guard.
Coastguard: If you're waiting for clearance on the schooners, forget it. They're quarantined!
Top Hat: Oh no...
Zorran: What?!
'Coastguard: Suspected microbonic plague aboard. Sorry, fellas.
Ten Cents: Captain Star will be pleased, I don't think.
O.J: To think how I flogged my engine to get here fast.
Top Hat: And all for no purpose, it turns out.
Zorran: Well, I think I'll go take a look-see anyway.
Ten Cents: You're not going back then?
Zorran: Err, Zug maybe. I'll mosey around here, see if there's a breeze out in the estuary.
Zug: Don't you need me, Zorran?
Zorran: Push off, Zug!
Zug: Oh... Okay, Zorran.
Ten Cents: He's up to something. I'd like to know what. You know, I never trusted that Zorran.
Top Hat Ah, but... Sunshine's gone out to bring in a tramper.
O.J: Ah, Zorran will know about it for sure.
Ten Cents: He wouldn't try and take it off him, would he?
Top Hat: Well, of course the villain would. Who'd see him do it out there?
O.J: Right then! Ten Cents, you and I'll go see fair play.
Ten Cents: Aye-aye, sir!
Top Hat: Oh dear, I don't know.... I do believe they see themselves as Sir Francis Drake.

Zorran: Ha, Forget them; Unclean. Ugghh!

Captain Star: Broken down again?!
Ten Cents: He put on max speed, Cap'n, to save me from quarantine!
O.J.: My engine's only good for scrap, Captain, we all know that.
Captain Star: You're right there. And I'm afraid, O.J., for you it means- ...What's that about quarantine, Ten Cents?
Ten Cents: Well if it hadn't been for O.J., I could've been in quarantine, now. Out of action for forty days!
Sunshine: Aye, he saved Ten Cents, Cap'n, it's true.
O.J.: Don't go on about it.
Captain Star: Yes, don't. You'll have me in tears...
Ten Cents: But honestly, Captain, you've gotta believe us, we're only reporting the facts!
Captain Star: Very commendable, but it's one side of the facts, isn't it?
Burke: Ahoy, Captain Star, sir! Can we again offer our services?
Blair: We happened to see the subject of our previous visit being towed in.
Burke: Old O.J., in a worse state than ever, wouldn't you say, Mr. Blair?
Blair: Finished, you could say. For a quick sale, let's say; 150?
Ten Cents: That's not for O.J.?! Captain, you can't sell him!
Captain Star: I'm not going to, he's not for sale, now go!
Burke: Ah well, if that's your attitude, you fork out for engine and refit!
Blair: See if we care!
Captain Star: Ten Cents, tow O.J. to Lucky's Yard. New engine, complete refit!
Ten Cents: Yes sir, Captain Star, sir! Yeah, right, at once, sir!
O.J.: Thanks, Captain! I'll see you never regret it.
Captain Star: Sunshine, he doesn't need your help. We've got to make money to pay for this! Now, er... get on with your garbage collecting, right away!
Sunshine: Er-Yes, Captain Star, sir! At once, sir!

Coastguard: (Toots) Hey! Hey! Nantucket, I left you with your Quarantine flags up! Where are they, eh? Eh? You're breaking the law, you're under arrest. Get those flags up again and fast!
Zorran: What's this? I didn't know he was quarantined, officer! No flags were flying at all, as you just saw!
Coastguard: Well that's your bad luck, Zorran. Whether you knew or not makes no difference. You're infected!
Zorran: But I'm innocent! I'm completely innocent, I-
Coastguard: Get quarantine flags up, right now, Zorran!
Zorran: You're a real villain, Dirtbucket, know that?
Nantucket: I wanted to get into port, didn't I?!
Zorran: Yeah, and now I might get microbonic plague.
Blair: Mr. Burke, I think there might be some spots on Zorran...
Burke: I think you're right, Mr. Blair. We'll come back and check for rust later... [The Scrap Dealers Both laugh Maliciously!]
Narrator: Ten Cents would have been in quarantine if it haven't been for O.J. and O.J. would have been scrapped if it haven't been for Ten Cents. As for Zorran, (short chuckle), he saw out his full term.

Trapped

[edit]
Narrator: There were times, believe it or not, when the Star Tugs and Z-Stacks took on a big job together. One of those times I remember was when timber and tanning bark had to be brought down from the saw mills up river. And this year, it was especially important that we worked together. But Zug was making heavy going of towing an old hulk on its last journey.
Zip: Hi, Zug!
Zak: Hey, Zug! Zorran's going mad waiting for you! Where you been?
Zug: Captain Zero told me to deliver this old rustbucket to the breaker's yard.
Zak: You'll see Zorran at Mittsville before you get there. He's not gonna' like it...
Zug: I'm only carrying out orders! Zorran can't blame me!
Zip: Ha! Don't you believe it!

Narrator: An alligator tug called Billy Shoepack worked up river, delivering essentials like gasoline, ropes, fuses and dynamite from Mittsville to the logging camps. Why an alligator tug? Well, you can see, he's just as low in the water. And in Billy's case; just as dangerous.
O.J.: Ah, look who's here! It's Shoepack, the alligator tug!
Billy Shoepack: Hey, Star Tugs! Don't you wish you carried somethin' more excitin' than wood?
Big Mac: No thanks. Just get that stuff away from here, you're welcome to it.
Billy Shoepack: Dynamite's excitin' stuff! Makes lovely big bangs! Fairly harmless if you know how to handle it, like I do.
O.J.: You're not unloading next to us, are you?
Billy Shoepack: 'Fraid so, O.J.. Don't worry, if it goes up, we all go up! [laughing]
Big Mac: Eh?!
Billy Shoepack: No, it's safe. Only jokin'.
Big Mac: You'd better be..!

Zorran: What are you doin' with that? Were all on Log Detail. Remember?!
Zug: Oh, heh heh, er, sorry Zorran, I did remember. Captain Zero, er said to take it to the Breakers Yard on my way.
Zorran: On your way?! It's a mile further up river. I've been waitin' for you like I've anchored 'ere til' I rust!
Zug: Oh, yeah, heh heh, but, We've gotta' do what the Captain says Zorran. Unless they get it today, they won't take it. They've a lot of breaking up to do.
Zorran: Including You, if you don't get moving!

Zug: It- It- It's blocked the river!
Zorran: Course it's blocked the river, you idiot!
Zug: I'm trapped! This side. what can I do?
Zorran: Wait there and claim salvage. [chuckles]
Zug: But...help could be ages getting here!
Zorran: You've got company. All the Stars are on your side. I've had plenty of time to see who was there, haven't I? That means Z-Stacks have got all the harbour to ourselves, haven't we? Captain Zero will be pleased!
Zug: [now scared] D-Don't leave me here!
Zorran: Sorry, Zug. We'll have to manage without you!

O.J.: What a mess, in't it? Captain Star'll go mad!
Top Hat: Well, I did tell him, O.J. Working with Z-Stacks just doesn't work.
Zug: It- It- It wasn't my fault! Ask Zorran!
Big Mac: One of Zorran's little schemes? Hrrgn, I thought as much...
O.J.: Never mind that. Let's just get out of here.
Top Hat: Now for the voice of experience...
O.J.: Tell you what: We'll make a battering ram. Lash up three or four barges.
Top Hat: Yeah...
O.J.: Well, they're heavy with logs already! Then we get behind them and ram the tramper!
Zug: Great, O.J.! Yeah!
Big Mac: Might work... Well, let's try it.
Top Hat: Well, I'll try Anything. However unlikely...

O.J.: Right, nobody push till I give the word, then keep going even when it hits. Ready, Steady, Go!

(Zug, Big Mac and Top Hat starts pushing their battering ram towards the tramper)

O.J.: Keep Going!

(They bent the tramper, but it doesn't move and Zug get trapped between the barages)

Top Hat: Oh I Say! Oh!
Zug: Help, I'm trapped!
Top Hat: What? Well, no more then the rest of us? Hmm...
Zug: I hope we won't get sucked under.

Zorran: I wouldn't try that little fella on a tramper that size, it might crush him! [cackling]
Ten Cents: Oi! Zorran? Where's the salvage team? We can't do this on our own! Oi, come back here!
Little Ditcher: I'll do the best I can, Ten Cents.
Ten Cents: Huh? Oh, yeah, of course. Come on, Little Ditcher, you can do it...
Narrator: Ten Cents suspected that Zorran had only pretended to alert the salvage crew. He wanted to keep the Stars trapped up river.

Billy Shoepack: Stand by: 10... 9... 8...-
Big Mac: I hope we're far enough away?!
Billy Shoepack: 7... 6... 5... 4...-
Top Hat: We'll soon know...
Billy Shoepack: 3... 2... 1... FIRE!

[The Fuse burns down, but there's no explosion.]

Billy Shoepack: (Disappointed) ....What's happened?
O.J.: You tell us.
Billy Shoepack: Probably the fuse got damp, that's all. One volunteer to go and see!
Big Mac: What do you mean, one volunteer?
Billy Shoepack: While I fix another fuse wire.
O.J.: Needs an expert, Billy!
Top Hat: That, so you say, is you.
Billy Shoepack: Right, Leave it to me. None of you move.
Top Hat: Anyone going to move? I'm not gonna' move.
Narrator: They began to wonder how it was that Billy Shoepack hadn't blown himself up before this.
Billy Shoepack: I was dead right. Hmm, just a wet fuse.
Big Mac: Or was it never fixed properly?
Billy Shoepack: No problem, it will go this time; sky high!
Top Hat: Sky high is too high by far...

O.J.: Yeah, come on. Get on with it!
Billy Shoepack: Here we go...
Big Mac: Yes, 3-2-1-Go!
Billy Shoepack: Don’t rush me, I do the countdown! 10... 9... 8...-
Zorran: Zug...
Billy Shoepack: 7... 6...-
Zorran: Zug?
Billy Shoepack: 5... 4...-
Zorran: ANSWER ME, YOU FOOL!
Billy Shoepack: 3... 2... 1... FIRE!

(this time, the dynamite goes off as the tramper's hull splits in two, unleashing a torrent of fast flowing water)

Zorran: Ugh! What’s happening?!

(the raging flow forces Zorran back downstream)

Zorran: Oooaarrgh!!!
Billy Shoepack: GERONIMO! What a sight. What a bang. BRILLIANT!!!

(Zug and the Stars cheer as they ride down the rapids)

Top Hat: I do believe we have to agree with him. Whoops!
O.J.: Don't fight the flow, go with it!

(as the tugs conture on down the rapids, Zorran ends up getting stuck on the rocks)

Sunshine: (cheers) Woo-hoo! Come on lads!
Top Hat: Yes!
O.J.: Well done! Let's go!

Big Mac: Ooh, You got a problem there, Zorran.
Zorran: (sarcastically) Oh yeah?

(the tugs laugh at Zorran's predicament)

Sunshine: Hey, Zug! Zug! Doesn't Zorran look funny, eh? Stuck up on those rocks!
Zug: Well, er- I suppose that er- heh... heh heh... (Zug desperately tries not to laugh, but can't help himself)
Zorran: Stop laughin'! Stop laughin', it's not funny!
Sunshine: Well, we think it is! Don't we, Zug?
Zug: Yeah. Uh, n- no....
O.J.: Alright, joke's over. Back and pick up our barges. Problem solved.
Billy Shoepack: Thanks to me, you didn't believe I'm an expert, did you?
Sunshine: Aye, true.
Top Hat: Well, there was an element of luck, I suspect, but I must say, I am quite impressed.
Billy Shoepack: Well, I can't play any more games with you. I've got real work to do.
Sunshine: Bye, Billy!
Narrator: For once in his life, Shoepack had done a great job.
Zorran: Never mind him. What about me?!
Ten Cents: In trouble, Zorran? Looks like you got crushed instead of Little Ditcher!
Narrator: [Chuckles] The only thing Zorran succeeded in doing that day, was trapping himself instead of the Star Tugs!

Ghosts

[edit]
Narrator: The Bigg City Port was in the grips of winter. It had come earlier than expected, and with it came the fog. None of us like fog, but in those days, it was worse: Tugs had no radio and no radar. Long periods of fog had a way of conjuring up old sea stories and superstitions among the boats of the harbour. I remember Big Mac returned quite late. He'd been working all day with Scuttlebutt Pete who'd been telling him old sea stories, of strange things that happened when fog was around. As he passed derelict buildings, they seemed to take on ghostly shapes. They groaned and creaked as if they were alive. As Big Mac got close to an old warehouse, he heard a whisper which grew louder....

Narrator: He was soon back at the Star Dock....
Top Hat: Slow down! You know better than to travel in fog at that rate of knots!
OJ: You alright? You look as if you've seen a ghost.
Big Mac: I.... I, Well, I saw something.... I... er... No, I can't tell you, you'll only... laugh.
Top Hat: Oh, come on, we weren't even serious.
Big Mac: Well... I have seen ghosts!
Top Hat: What?! You've seen what?
Big Mac: Ghosts! You know Scuttlebutt's story about those tugs that sank in the Great Storm of 1912?
Warrior: And they come back to get you....
Ten Cents: Oh, Big Mac... You're not takin' Scuttlebutt's story for real, are you?
Big Mac: Aye, well I'm not goin' out there again 'til the fog lifts.
Top Hat: Ha, Well I never thought I'd hear that from a harbour tug!
Sunshine: Well, he- He could have seen something.... There could be ghosts! You never know...
Top Hat: Don't be ridiculous. Really...

Narrator: Izzy Gomez, the old tramper, had failed all day to get a cheap tow into port. So, he decided to try and sneak in for Free, with the help of the fog.
Zorran: 'Ello, 'ello! Ha ha! You never learn, do you, Izzy? Eh? [Chuckles] Crime doesn't pay, you know!
Izzy Gomez: Oh, what you talk about....?
Zorran: Slipping into port, on your own, without a tow? Well I hope you run aground! I'll be there; you'll be my salvage!
Izzy Gomez: Hey, I no salvage! Okay. Fifty, most I give you for a tow.
Zorran: Eh?! Get lost! Not for Five Hundred! You'll be worth more as Scrap! [leaves]
Izzy Gomez: Well, I did ask about a tow, and I did not get a tow, so.... [pulls up anchor]
Zorran: Heh. That Izzy. I'll get him one day! Anyway, with luck, there should be a few distress calls today, eh? Suckers always pay at least Double to get 'em out of trouble.

Izzy Gomez: Hey! You watch where you're going! ....Why they don't answer? Is funny.... Ay Carumba, is-a Ghosts! Oh, don't take me, I got a tow already, he's on his way, please don't take me!
Narrator: The Ghost Tugs slid silently into the fog. Zorran was so shaken, he sailed around in a circle and met Izzy again.
Zorran: Ooof, Ahh! Oh, er, Oh it's you... Heh heh... Not got far, have you?
Izzy Gomez: Amigo, give me a tow, I pay what you want, any price you say!
Zorran: Er, no Izzy, my old friend, er- I'll tow you in for free, I need some Company getting back to port. Ha ha...

Scuttlebutt Pete: Oi! You stupid tug! You sailed right between us! You scared the daylights out of us altogether!
O.J.: Thought I was a ghost tug, did ya?
Scuttlebutt Pete: Don't joke about those things!
O.J.: Not seeing things, are you? You're beginning to believe those tales you tell.
Scuttlebutt Pete: Well take care, O.J!
O.J.: Cheerio! [stops as the ghost fleet passes before him] Now I'm seeing things.... They're there! That's the ghost tugs! Right before my eyes. Ooooh, I hope they don't see me...

Narrator: Ten Cents and Sunshine were taking fuel out to Lillie Lightship.
Sunshine: Ohhh, how're we gonna find her in this?
Ten Cents: O.J taught me to wiggle, to keep the breeze on the same cheek all the time. That way we'll beat the currents, sail in the right direction. She can't be too far away now.
Sunshine: What's that? That sounds like ice breaking. It can't be, can it? Oh, I don't like it, Ten Cents, what's happenin'?!
Ten Cents: How should I know? It's weird! [the ghost fleet appear in front of them] Look!
Sunshine: Ohhh..... jeepers creepers! Aww, oh, we're for it! Our number's up... It is! They've come to get us!

Narrator: An early sun had burned off the fog, but Top Hat was still asleep where he'd tied up.
Top Hat: D- Oh! Go away, ghosts! No, don't hurt me! Please! Please! I- Oh, Grampus...
Grampus: What are you doing here, Top Hat? What's this about ghosts?
Top Hat: Did I say 'ghosts'? Oh, I must've been dreaming. I lost my bearings in the fog and moored here for the night....
Grampus: [chuckling] Here? That is funny.
Top Hat: What's so funny?
Grampus: You're only 500 yards from the Star Tugs Pier! It's there! Look!
Top Hat: Listen everybody, I've seen Ghost Tugs for myself!
O.J: We've all seen them. Ten Cents and Sunshine have seen a Galleon too.
Top Hat: But these were ghosts, I assure you! I saw them! Really! Silent! Phantoms of the sea!
Ten Cents: So, you admit ghosts exist now, Top Hat?
Hercules: Ghosts? What's that about, m'dears, hmm?
Big Mac: Ghostly White Tugs!
Ten Cents: Yeah. White Tugs, and a big galleon!
Sunshine: And Neptune, I think.
Warrior: I saw them too!
Hercules: You're all going crazy! Seeing things that aren't there! [laughs]
Sunshine: I'm not sure. I don't know what I saw now....
Hercules: Well, I'll tell you: They're the White Fleet, down here from Northern waters on a trail of an iceberg. These Tugs sail, at times, with engines off, listening for cracking ice. There was a wooden galleon frozen in this iceberg which must have melted in our warmer water. That's why you saw the Old Vessel bob up to the surface. I doubt you saw Neptune, Sunshine, he's for fairy tales. You let the fog get to you, m'dears! [laughs]
Ten Cents: Hercules, behind you!
Hercules: Well that's your ghostly galleon.
Narrator: They watched with embarrassment as Burke and Blair towed away the rotting galleon. Later on, Star Tugs found they could laugh about it. But they never forgot the fog, that nearly sent them Crazy!

Bigg Freeze

[edit]
Lillie Lightship: Hi, Hercules. Seen Ten Cents?
Hercules: I think he's up the River, Sweetheart. Why?
Lillie Lightship: I'm waiting for him to refuel me. My gauge shows I'm pretty low!
Hercules: Well, He'd better look after you, cause I'm bringing Vienna in on the night tide. If your light isn't on to guide her in, she doesn't come in!
Lillie Lightship: What's Keeping Ten Cents? It's not like him...
Hercules: Big shortage of fuel barges, all frozen up in Bigg City Port. They'll be here soon. Keep smiling M'dear.
Lillie Lightship: I always do, Hercules...

Zorran: If they want this barge; they can't have it. See?
Zug: No, no- You keep it, Zorran!
Zip: Yes. yes, you keep it!
Zorran: I will. Right, Fill 'er up; Kerosene.
The Fuel Depot: 't'll Take a while in this cold.

O.J.: Not an idea between us?
Top Hat: No bright ones, O.J..
O.J.: Anybody got a stupid one then? Come on, say it. Might lead to something, you never know.
Warrior: ....I could set fire to my garbage.
Top Hat: What? What on earth for?!
Warrior: Well, make a light for Vienna, wouldn't it?
Lillie Lightship: I think that's a smashing idea.
Narrator: Just Lillie's approval was good enough for Warrior. The others stared, speechless, as he quickly towed his barge away and got himself alongside it, Revved his engine to full steam, to make sparks fly out of his stack.

Zip: How'd you get past that fire barge, Ten Cents?
Ten Cents: Easy!
Zorran: 'Ere, what's up with you two?
Zip: Ah, well, we blocked them up the creek to save the fuel contract for you, Zorran!
Ten Cents: We only went for the light barge!
Zorran: Huh?! You IDIOTS! We needed that light here, didn't we? To get Vienna in, for US, as well as for Them. Now, what's this about a fire barge? Have you taken one from its station?!
Zip: We only jammed it a little way!
Zorran: Well, get back up there quick before the Fire Chief gets there!
Ten Cents: Fire Chief won't be pleased with you two! 'Ere, it'll take 'em all night to get that fire barge free.
Sunshine: Aye, it will, aye-aye. Maybe they should've thought of that when they jammed it in.

Top Hat: Why couldn't I have been a liner, I wonder?
Warrior: 'Cos you're not big enough.
Lillie Lightship: You are silly, Warrior.
Hercules: You're clear, Vienna! Bon voyage, Godspeed!
Sunshine: Aww, she really is lovely...
Ten Cents: Yeah....
Top Hat: Goodnight, Vienna!
Ten Cents and Sunshine: Goodnight, Vienna...

Up River

[edit]
Big Mac: Take it easy, Sunshine!
Narrator: Big Mac had a healthy respect for logs.
Sunshine: Hey, this is a nasty jam, Big Mac.
Big Mac: Aye, could sink you. Logs don't care about no one.
Sunshine: Never thought there'd be this much trouble loggin'. Ah!
Big Mac: It's a tricky job. Logs have got to be roped just right: Not slack, but not too tight!
Sunshine: ....Isn't tighter the better?
Big Mac: Ha, you'd think so, but too tight causes friction as they bob up and down and that creates heat and they can catch fire.
Sunshine: Huh?
Big Mac: And that'll happen here, if we can't get this jam shifted!
Sunshine: Aye. Wet logs catchin' fire... I can never get used to that.
Big Mac: Aye, always surprises me. Well, we'll have to keep at it.

Ten Cents: Oi, Puffer, you in trouble?
Puffer: No, you are, Ten Cents! Sunshine's trapped in a log jam!
Ten Cents: OH! Where?!
Puffer: Well, he's up at the lake!
Ten Cents: Oh, right! I'm on my way! Thanks!
Puffer: Good luck, old kid! You'll need it!

Big Mac: Naagh, Can't shift 'em, Sunshine, no matter what I do.
Sunshine: [coughs] Don't worry, I'm okay. The smoke from me stack seems a bit heavy though.
Big Mac: I'm afraid that smoke's not coming from your stack.
Sunshine: No, I, er- I didn't think it actually was.
Big Mac: I've gotta get you out of there, fast!
Sunshine: How long d'you think it'll be before it bursts into flames?
Big Mac: Never timed it!

The logs start to heat up with fire around Sunshine, just then, Ten Cents arrives, whistling urgently.

Big Mac: Ahh, Ten Cents!
Ten Cents: Ohh, how'd this happen?
Big Mac: Never mind how, swing 'round and try to push the logs clear, we've got to get Sunshine out!



Billy Shoepack: 'Ello!
Ten Cents: Aw, no! It's Billy Shoepack with his dynamite!
Sunshine: Aw, tell him to clear off, Ten Cents. Flames and dynamite don't mix!
Ten Cents: Look, get outta here Billy! One spark from this landing on your dynamite, and we could all go up!
Billy Shoepack: 'Hang on, Hang On, 'ow did you get in that mess?
Big Mac: [Sarcastically] On Purpose Shoepack, just for the fun of it. On yer way man!

Sunshine: [coughs] Haven't had such a bad cough, since me engine needed [cough] overhaulin'!

Sunshine: That sounds like Puffer. Great! Send him to Uptown, he's faster than the current'll carry the logs.
Ten Cents: You're right, Sunshine, he'll get there first! Oi, Puffer! Warn Uptown that the log dam is broken, the logs are headin' their way, it's an emergency!
Puffer: Will do, but what can they do about it?
Ten Cents: O.J.'s at Uptown, tell him!
Puffer: Right. On my way, Ten Cents! A race against time... I'LL BEAT 'EM!
Ten Cents: Look, don't stop for anything!

O.J.: Which factory did you say, Warrior?
Warrior: Captain Star said "take Little Ditcher to the demolition factory."
O.J.: He meant the factory that's due for demolition. Hey, what's that? Puffer, what's up?
Puffer: A mass of logs! On their way from the lake! Get downriver, fast! I've gotta get to Uptown Station to warn them!
Top Hat: Good heavens! In this current, they'll wreck the whole quayside and us as well!
Warrior: Well then, let's stop 'em, right here!
O.J.: Be sensible, Warrior! How?!
Warrior: Well er, I'll stick Little Ditcher across the river, he'll put his spuds down on the riverbed, and he won't move.
Little Ditcher: No, I'll get smashed to bits instead!
[edit]
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