Turner & Hooch

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Turner & Hooch is a 1989 comedy film starring Tom Hanks, Mare Winningham, Craig T. Nelson, and Reginald VelJohnson. It was directed by Roger Spottiswoode; the film was originally slated to be directed by Henry Winkler, but he was terminated due to "creative differences". It was co-written by Michael Blodgett from Beyond the Valley of the Dolls fame.


Amos: Let him go, Hooch! I'm sorry, Scott. I don't have the hand-strength I used to. You're okay, aren't you?
Scott: Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. I was looking forward to a nice quiet cup of coffee. BUT NOW, I'M AWAKE!

Emily: Well, it's a nice night. And I have to walk Camille. Do you want to take a walk with me?
Scott: No, no. Well, you see, I'm starting to like you. And if we're going to walk, I'm just going to like you even more. And then one day, we might even end up in love and everything will go on fine for a while. But-but then one day, *bang* you're going to call me a selfish compulsive bastard! You're going to pull your hair, you're going to scream and you're going to say "You never want to see me again because I drive you crazy, and I'm left shattered. Now, who needs that? Good night!"

[to Hooch]
Scott: Oh, no, no, no, no. You're eating the car! Don't eat the car! Not the car! Oh, what am I yelling at you for? You're a dog!

Scott: All right, these are the simple rules. No barking, no growling, you will not lift you leg to anything in this house. This is not your room. No slobbering, no chewing, you will wear a flea collar. This is not your room. No begging for food, no sniffing off crotches, and you will not drink from my toilet. This is not your room. This is your room.

Scott: [Hooch won't stop barking at night; angrily shouting] What?! What?! What is it?! What?! WHAT?! Are you-- If you're hungry, finish the hamburgers! You-- Eat the buns! Eat the buns! You're not thirsty-- You know, you're not touching the water, the orange juice, cranapple. What is it?! What am I supposed to do, make you a Margarita?! SHUT UP! God! SHUT UP! This has been going on for two-and-a-half hours! Be quiet!

Scott: [Hooch won't stop barking, and howls] A-Alright. Alright, alright. You tell me what I'm supposed to do. You tell me what I am supposed to do. What am I supposed to do? You tell me. What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do, Hooch? Am I supposed to stand out on the porch all night long?!
Neighbor: Give him a Valium, Turner! Take one yourself!
Scott: Hey, shut up! I'm a policeman! Gu-- Want your car towed? [to Hooch] Man, I hate you. [Hooch goes inside the house, knocking the door shut; Scott mumbles and tries to open the door, but it's locked] OH... NOOOOOO! AAH! YOU-- [tries to open another door] AW, YA STUPID DOG! [holds up a trash can and slams it down] No. AH, YA STUPID DOG!

Scott: $97.51? Is that pesos? This is for a dog. $97.51? I'm not going to eat this stuff. Did I buy a smoked salmon - $97.51? [holding toy] How much if I take this back? I'd like to talk to Kevin. Could you call him, please? KEVIN!

[Hooch has dragged Scott through the pet door. Scott is now hanging upside down]
Emily: What are you doing to this dog?
Scott: Just taking him for a walk!
Emily: He's bleeding. My God! How long has he been bleeding?
Scott: Not long enough.


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