Turner & Hooch

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Turner & Hooch is a 1989 comedy film starring Tom Hanks, Mare Winningham, Craig T. Nelson, and Reginald VelJohnson. It was directed by Roger Spottiswoode; the film was originally slated to be directed by Henry Winkler, but he was terminated due to "creative differences". It was co-written by Michael Blodgett from Beyond the Valley of the Dolls fame.


Amos: Let him go, Hooch! I'm sorry, Scott. I don't have the hand-strength I used to. You're okay, aren't you?
Scott: Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. I was looking forward to a nice quiet cup of coffee. BUT NOW, I'M AWAKE!

[Hooch has dragged Scott through the pet door. Scott is now hanging upside down]
Emily: What are you doing to this dog?!
Scott: Just taking him for a walk!
Emily: He's bleeding! My God! How long has he been bleeding?!
Scott: Not long enough! [to Hooch] You ! I'll kill ya!
Emily: Hey. Now, I have a front door, you know. [taking Hooch's leash]
Scott: I'll shoot you, Hooch! I'll shoot you, Hooch!
Emily: [while bringing Hooch downstairs] Well, you stay there. You just stay right there.
Scott: Fix him up so I can shoot him!

Scott: [Hooch won't stop barking at night; angrily shouting] What?! What?! What is it?! What?! WHAT?! Are you-- If you're hungry, finish the hamburgers! You-Eat the buns! Eat the buns! You're not thirsty-You know, you're not touching the water, the orange juice, cranapple. What is it?! What am I supposed to do, make you a Margarita?! SHUT UP! GOD! SHUT UP! This has been going on for 2 1/2 hours! [goes back into the house] BE QUIET! [Hooch won't stop barking, and howls] A-Alright. Alright, alright. You tell me what I'm supposed to do. You tell me what I am supposed to do. What am I supposed to do? You tell me. What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do, Hooch? Am I supposed to stand out on the porch all night long?!
Neighbor: Give him a Valium, Turner! Take one yourself!
Scott: Hey, shut up! I'm a policeman! You want your car towed? [to Hooch] Man, I hate you. [Hooch goes inside the house, knocking the door shut; Scott mumbles and tries to open the door, but it's locked] OH...NOOOOOO! AAH! YOU- [tries to open another door] AW, YA STUPID DOG! [holds up a trash can and slams it down] AH, YA STUPID DOG! [goes to the garage window, but Hooch blocks his way while barking] Oh, you wanna chew my head off?! Yeah?! Go ahead! You'll be trapped inside and you'll starve to death! That is, if they don't find my body first and then shoot you! You're in my house! Back off! I'm comin' in! [Hooch growls] Back off, Hooch! [Hooch barks twice] Back off. [Hooch backs off; mouths] Back. [Hooch sits down; getting inside the garage, cracks his bones, closes the window, and sighs] All right. If we're gonna get along, we're gonna have to come to a certain understanding. [Hooch whines lowly; turning on the kitchen light] All right, these are the simple rules. No barking, no growling, you will not lift you leg to anything in this house. This is not your room. [turns off; turns on the living room light] No slobbering, no chewing, you will wear a flea collar. This is not your room. [turns on his bedroom light] No begging for food, no sniffing off crotches, and you will not drink from my toilet. This is not your room. [turns off; goes into the indoor porch, and turns on the light] This is your room. The rest of the house is mine, and when I come back into my house, I like to find everything where I put it. [grabs the towel] Everything in its place. Now, you don't touch my stuff. And I certainly won't touch any of yours. [Hooch shakes his fur, leaving drool all over the place] Well, this is the room to do that. [placing the towel on the floor] This is your bed. You follow these very simple rules...and shut up, we'll get along fine. [closes the door]

Scott: [finding the car seat being ripped by Hooch] Oh, no, no, no, no. You're eating the car! Don't eat the car! NOT THE CAR! Oh, what am I yelling at you for? You're a dog.

Female Cashier: [checking the price] $97.51.
Scott: $97.51? Is that pesos? This is for a dog. $97.51? I'm not going to eat this stuff. Did I buy a smoked salmon-$97.51? [holding the squeaky toy] How much if I take this back? I'd like to talk to Kevin. Could you call him, please? KEVIN?!?!

Emily: Well, it's a nice night. And I have to walk Camille. Do you want to take a walk with me?
Scott: No, no. Well, you see, I'm starting to like you. And if we're going to walk, I'm just going to like you even more. And then one day, we might even end up in love and everything will go on fine for a while. But-but then one day, *bang* you're going to call me a selfish compulsive bastard! You're going to pull your hair, you're going to scream and you're going to say "You never want to see me again because I drive you crazy, and I'm left shattered. Now, who needs that? Good night."


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