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WORK IN PROGRESS
NCIS (2003–) is a CBS network television series about a team of special agents from the Naval Criminal Investigative Service of the United States Navy.
Characters
[edit]- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs - Mark Harmon
- Special Agent Anthony "Tony" Dinozzo - Michael Weatherly
- Special Agent Caitlin "Kate" Todd - Sasha Alexander (2003-2005)
- Special Agent Ziva David - Cote de Pablo (2005-Present)
- Probationary Agent Timothy McGee - Sean Murray
- Forensic Pathologist Abigail "Abby" Sciuto - Pauley Perrette
- Doctor Donald "Ducky" Mallard - David McCallum
- NCIS Director Tom Morrow - Alan Dale (2003-2005)
- NCIS Director Jennifer "Jenny" Shephard - Lauren Holly (2005-Present)
Season 1
[edit]Yankee White [1.1]
[edit]- TSA Agent Dennis: NCIS? That anything like CSI?
- Agent Dinozzo: Only if you're dyslexic.
- Agent Gibbs: You ever work a crime scene Agent Todd?
- Agent Todd: Well, I am a Secret Service Agent.
- Agent Gibbs: I thought not.
- Agent Todd: I can't give him Air Force Ones floor plans, they're top secret!
- Agent Gibbs: Come on, Agent Todd. I saw all this in a Harrison Ford movie.
- Agent Gibbs: NCIS does not leak. These plans get out... you can shoot DiNozzo.
- Agent Todd: No, I think I'm destined to shoot you.
- Agent Gibbs: Rule number one: Never let suspects stay together.
- Agent Gibbs: Rule number two: Always wear gloves at a crime scene.
- Agent Gibbs: Rule Number Three: Don't believe what you're told. Always double check.
- Agent Todd: Should I write these rules on my Palm Pilot, or crochet them on pillows?
- Agent Gibbs: (to Agent Todd) You mind if I tag along? Please.
- Abby Sciuto: Wow, Gibbs said please!
Hung Out To Dry [1.2]
[edit]- Witness: We were hanging out, listening to Dashboard Confessional.
- Agent Dinozzo: Emo.
- Agent Gibbs: Emo?
- Agent Dinozzo: Emotional music. Gotta get a radio, Gibbs.
- Agent Gibbs: Y'know, some of these guys freeze on their first jump. Have to be kicked in the ass to get them out.
- Agent Dinozzo: Not me.
- Agent Gibbs: Nope. You fall in the category that I want to kick in the ass on the ground.
Seadog [1.3]
[edit]The Immortals [1.4]
[edit]The Curse [1.5]
[edit]- Agent Dinozzo: The golf clubs belonged to his RIO, Lt. Lynch.
- Agent Todd: RIO?
- Agent Dinozzo: Radar Intercept Officer. Also called a GIBs, one B - short for guy in back.
- Agent Todd: (to Agent Gibbs) What do you need two B's for?
- Agent Gibbs: Second ones for bastard.
High Seas [1.6]
[edit]Sub Rosa [1.7]
[edit]Minimum Security [1.8]
[edit]Marine Down [1.9]
[edit]- Agent Todd: If we screw this up, I have a suggestion.
- Agent Dinozzo: What?
- Agent Todd: We break into Gibbs's basement and burn his boat.
- Agent Dinozzo: That's cold, Kate. I knew there was a reason I liked you.
- Agent Dinozzo: Gibbs'll get in. He's got clearance that'll let him see the dead aliens buried in Area 51.
- Agent Todd: Because he probably killed them.
Left For Dead [1.10]
[edit]Eye Spy [1.11]
[edit]My Other Left Foot [1.12]
[edit]One Shot, One Kill [1.13]
[edit]- Agent Gibbs: Hey Dinozzo, kinda reminds me of your apartment, except for that minty fresh urine smell.
- Agent Dinozzo: Hey for your information I have a maid now.
- Agent Gibbs: You can afford a maid?
- Agent Dinozzo: It's amazing what you can do when you don't have to pay three alimonies.
- Agent Todd: You think he told him a fast one?
- Agent Dinozzo: I doubt it.
- Agent Todd: Why?
- Agent Dinozzo: Can you imagine someone lying to Gibbs and getting away with it?
The Good Samaritan [1.14]
[edit]- Agent Gibbs: Anything Abby?
- Abby Sciuto: This is the left rear tire off Commander Julius's car. Notice anything unusual?
- Agent Gibbs: It's inflated.
- Abby Sciuto: Is that a guess, or do you actually know where I'm going this?
- Agent Gibbs: What do you think?
- Abby Sciuto: Well, I don't know, that's why I asked you.
- Agent Gibbs: Why don't you just tell me?
- Abby Sciuto: So you don't know.
- Agent Gibbs: I want to make sure you know.
- Abby Sciuto: Hmmmm.
- Agent Gibbs: Hmmmm.
- Abby Sciuto: We should play poker sometime.
- Agent Gibbs: Yeah, we should.
Enigma [1.15]
[edit]- FBI Agent Charles: You're under arrest.
- Agent Gibbs: For what?
- FBI Agent Charles: Pissing off the FBI.
- Agent Gibbs: Get used to it.
- Agent Dinozzo: Where the hell are you? Fornell's here with a warrant for your arrest.
- Agent Gibbs: Well, good thing I'm not there then.
Bete Noire [1.16]
[edit]- Dr. Ducky Mallard: (to Ari Haswari) I look forward to weighing your liver.
The Truth Is Out There [1.17]
[edit]- Abby Sciuto: The car that hit Gordon was definitely a Taurus.
- Agent Gibbs: You're positive?
- Abby Sciuto: Absolutely... unless it was a Mercury Sable.
UnSEALed [1.18]
[edit]Dead Man Talking [1.19]
[edit]- Agent Gibbs: (has his Sig Sauer pointed at the head of Amanda Reed) His name was Special Agent Chris Pacci. And he was a friend.
- Agent Todd: Speaking of way beyond hinky.
- Agent Dinozzo: Okay, Kate. I can take it.
- Agent Todd: What was it like, tonguing a guy?
- Agent Dinozzo: That I can't take.
