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"Who's Leg Do You Have to Hump to Get a Dry Martini Around Here?!"[edit]

Whoa, what is this a party? How did you all get in my room? Hi, I'm Brian from Family Guy. Well, no I'm not, but you pretty much figured that out by now. I was Klaus269, but I wanted to change my username to somthing that had to do with Family Guy, my favorite show. Enjoy. P.S. This in an exact copy of my usserpage on Wikipedia. Enjoy it.

VFD Blog[edit]

This is the blog that I started on SnickWiki last summer. It is based on the V.F.D. Volunter Fire Department) organization of one of my favorite book seires, A Series of Unfortunate Events (the other one is Harry Potter) . If you want to review this page, do it on my discussion page. Please enjoy.--Klaus 22:34, 9 January 2007 (UTC)
P.S. Since I can't continue the blog here, I made an ending just for Wikipedia.
P.P.S. This is still under my old name of Klaus269, so keep that in mind.


Okay, for 1 thing I don't have the THE BEATRICE LETTERS yet, but I have theories. But first, I got this in The mail today by mistake. It's is a Very Frightening Descriptive letter:

DearKit, I hope I got your new address right. I recived your package of burnt wood, Violet's ribbion, Klaus' glasses, and one of Sunny's baby teeth, and I think they're ready to be recruited, a word which here means 'grabbed by the ankles and kidnapped to train to become VFD members', and I came up with the perfect jobs for them, V. can invent spying devices, K. can be the researcher, [KLAUS 269: SORRY FOR THE SPELLING] and S. can be the cutter and cook. I belive it is best to grab them by their ankles and kiddnap them to train them to become VFD members, a phrase which where means 'recute', around Friday the 13th of October 2006. I will contact you with more details as soon as i can. If i did get the address wrong, this is not l.s. and you did not get this letter. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket

I also got this letter adresed to me that I found at school that was taped under my science desk:

Dear Klaus 269, Tomorrow during the fair I will come recruit, a word which here means 'grab by the ankles and kidnap you to train to become a VFD member'. If you want me to to grab you by ankles and kidnap you to train you to become VFD member, a phrase which where means 'recruit', you, plese contact me by leaving me a letter in row 13 under seat 13 and I will come dreased as a tourist and get you at 3:30 p.m. and take you to a black jeep to take you to a classifide location where you will get a manila folder. I will make further contact with you at the library at 5:50 pm tonite. Don't be late. I will be driving a black jeep. See you then. THE WORLD IS QUIET HERE. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket

So I've been waiting here since 3:35 and... Oh, here he comes. Gota go. I'll try to give you daily updates. The world is quiet here. Bye

With all due respect, Klaus269--Klaus 17:30, 15 Sep 2006 (PDT)


I'VE BEEN RECRUITED!!!! I thougt that I would get recruited today, but the letter said today to fool villains. Again I'm a bad speller. But I have a VFD revolation. The don't tell trainies what it means, but I was watching a man desquised as a tree and a fire department truck went by and it said VFD on the side. So i fiqure that if a fire department truck said vfd on the side, it must mean that VFD stands for 'Volunter Fire Department'. And my theory for THE END's ending is that it is a good/bad news deal. They live and Olaf dies, but, they a cought and go to jail. That is all I can say right now. My Very Fresh Dinner as getting cold. The world is quiet here.

With all due respect,

Klaus 269 -- 11:09, 16 Sep 2006 (PDT)


Sorry I've haven't checked in in a while, but I've been doing these strange errands. Anyway, I'VE HAVE THE BEATRICE LETTERS!!!! I really think that there are two Beatrices. Listen, in the letters to Beatrice(B), Lemony(L) says things like "My Dearest Darling", "I miss you every second we're apart", "Meet me at our usual spot for root beer floats", "See you in a few hours", ect. But in the letters to L, B says things like "Please contact me day or night, porforibly day because my bedtime is farliy early", "I don't uderstand why a noble person, such as yourself, would not contact someone who needs help finding her family(KLAUS-269:VIOLET,KLAUS,SUNNY)", ect. And in the letter B writes to L in her business letter class, it sounds like he was trying to get away from her. Why would he do that to his "dearest darling". And if she was 11, how can she have a baby? That plus L said that there are 2 Bs in his letter to his kind editer. Well, thats all I have to say today. Next I have Code Class... What is that smell. Is it getting hot in here. Is that smoke?! Listen, this place is on fire, thee keyss areee starting tooo stickkk, and the wiress are starting to break, so______________________Klaus 16:33, 17 Oct 2006 (PDT)


Sorry i haven't cheeked in, but I have been on the run from the cops. They think I murderd Lemony!!!! I was framed by Count Olaf I Say!!!! This happened on the 1st. Anyway, I have 2 pecies of evidence that might say there are going to be more books. In the last AuthorTraker news letter, at the end it said somthing like 'And for those of you who have been reading the books, they have finaly ended. Or have they??? And in a interview, Dan Handler said 'He [Lemomy] might get interested in other cases.' Why did he say that? Nead to go. I hear the police comming. The World is Quiet Here. With all due recpect, Klaus269


OH MY GOD!!! THERE ARE GOING TO BE AT LEAST 3 MORE BOOKS BY LEMONY SNICKET COMING OUT ON MAY FIRST OF NEXT YEAR!!! Here is the artical that I got that info from. The info is highlighted.

On Tuesday, September 5th, 2006 another book called "The Beatrice letters" came out. For more information on this book, go to & click on the thirteen secrets. (The thirteeth secret is "He is finished"). On Friday, October 13th, 2006 Book the Thirteenth, called "The End" became available. It is the last book in The Series of Unfortunate Events chronicling the lives of the Baudelaire orphans.

  • May 1, 2007 another book by Lemony Snicket is scheduled to be released called "Horseradish: Bitter truths you can't avoid." According to the Toronto Star (October 13, 2006), it is a book of "Snicket snippets taken from personal papers, conversations at dinner parties and anarchist rallies." It is not known yet if these are related to the series.

Daniel Handler, talking about Lemony Snicket, says "He's taking on more projects, even as we speak. The life of a rhetorical analyst is never done." Daniel Handler also said, "I do admit that Mr. Snicket has expressed interest in some other cases that may have some overlap with the Baudelaires. But I don't think you should read them and so I think you should forget that I ever said that."

  • Two more books by Lemony Snicket are also listed due out the same day:

Series of Unfortunate Events #1: Or, Orphans! Series of Unfortunate Events #2: Or, Murder!

I just knew he wold come out with more. I just knew it. Wow look at the time. Got to go. The world is quiet here.

With all due respect, Klaus269


Sorry I haven't cheecked in in awile, but you can't use computers that much while your on the run from the cops, and the little time I can spend on the computer, I used it to quit the VFD on this website. I think that the next books are going to be about the Bauldilaires (Sorry for the spelling) OR Beatrice Snicket. If you have THE END, look at the very, VERY last picture and you will see a peacefull seascape. Wait, what's that in the water? THE QUETION MARK!!! I know that that has somthing to do with Series of Unfortunate Events #1: Or, Orphans! Think about it, every book in the seires has a clue to the next book in the very, VERY last picture, so that is what they did in THE END. So Series of Unfortunate Events #1: Or, Orphans! mentions the question mark at least once. If you have any comments about my theroe (Spelling again, sorry) , pleese feel free to say so on my talk page. Oh, have to go. I hear sirens. The world is quiet here. With all due respect, Klaus269


HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! I know it's a little late, but what the heck. Anyway, I've taken down the petion. Don't cry. I said I would take it down at the end of the year if not enough people signed it, and I did. That's that and there's nothing anyone can do about it. Oh great, someone just reconized me from my picture that was published withe the articals saying I was a murderer. I have to get out of here before the police come. I already hear the sirens. I have to go. Cheeck in soon. The world is quiet here. With all due respect, Klaus 10:57, 7 Jan 2007 (PST)


OH MY GOD!!! I just saw the covers for "Series of Unfortunate Events #1: Or, Orphans!" and "Series of Unfortunate Events #2: Or, Murderer!" and the covers said "Series of Unfortunate Events #1: The Bad Beggining, Or, Orphans!" and Series of Unfortunate Events #2: The Reptill Room, Or, Murder!". So I think that these are eather The Bad Beggining & Reptill Room remade with new drawings and new covers, OR he is retelling them through one of the charactes's eyes. One more note befor I go. On the covers, there are yellow and red banners accros the bottom. On the Or, Murder banner it says "All-new stories and advice inside, at no additional cost!". If this is just there to be there, I don't know, but I have the sneaking suspision that it has to do somthing with the book. Oh, I almost forgot, I saw the covers on That's all for now. The world is quiet here. With all due Respect, Klaus269

Retrieved from ""


This is the last time I can check in on my blog because the police caught me right after I checked in last time. They caught me at at the library reading "History of Hyponsis". I realy don't want to be hypnotzed and cause fatil and/or deadly accidents again. I'm sorry Lemony, I let you down, and I let down my only family left, Violet, Sunny and Beatrice. I'll use my real name as my signigure. I have to go. They're shouting the power off. The world is quiet here.

With all due respect, Klaus B______________--Klaus 22:50, 9 January 2007 (UTC)