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The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged) is an irreverent play composed of three actors performing all of William Shakespeare's works.

Written by William Shakespeare, Adam Long, Daniel Singer, and Jess Borgeson.

Note: Typically, the actors use their real names and play themselves rather than certain characters.

Act 1[edit]

Austin Tichenor [as Hamlet]: It is I, Omelet the Cheese Danish!

Adam Long [as The Ghost]: !ooB

Reed Martin [as Polonius]: Neither a borrower nor a lender be! Hmph!

Audience [as Ophelia's Super-ego]: Maybe, maybe not!

Austin, Reed, and Adam: Henry IV, Richard III, Phillip's a dork and Charles a turd. Go Fergie!

Adam Long [as MacDuff]: Behold, where stands the usurper's crown! MacBeth, your arse is out the windie!

Adam Long: I feel like such a dork.
Austin Tichenor: Yeah, well, go with the feeling.

Adam Long: Here's the story of a brother named Othello. He liked white women and he liked... green Jello.

Adam Long: And Iago loved Dessy like Adonis loved Venus!
Austin Tichenor: And Desi loved Othello 'cause he had a big--SWORD!

External Links[edit]

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