Video on Trial

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Video on Trial (abbreviated as VOT) is a half-hour MuchMusic television program where a panel of musicians, comedians and entertainment columnists critique music videos.

In the opening credits, the narrator describes the show as being "the show that will never rest until all music videos are brought to justice".

Season 1[edit]

Episode 1.01[edit]

  • Nikki Payne: She was a little pretty but she's destructive as well. (on "Crush" by Isabella Richards)
  • Trevor Boris: Getting revenge on your boyfriend was nasty even if you put a bucket on his head. (on "Crush" by Isabella Richards)
  • Marty Adams: The teacher goes crazy and he's like where's my students? (on "Just the Girl" by The Click Five)

Episode 1.02[edit]

  • Trevor Boris: You notice there's ghost sluts dancing behind him. It's like "Ooh, I died of syphilis!" (on "Candy Shop" by 50 Cent featuring Olivia)

Episode 1.03[edit]

  • Debra DiGiovanni: I'm sick of all these slutty girls wearing slutty clothes. I would just like to see a video with a girl wearing a nice blouse. (on "Milkshake" by Kelis)
  • Ron Sparks: Suddenly Shawn Desman is shrunk down to a size that better represents his talent. (on "Let's Go" by Shawn Desman)
  • Ron Sparks: Just when it's starting to get slow, bam, spider fight! (on "I Miss You" by Blink-182)

Episode 1.04[edit]

  • Quinn Martin: Oh no. The gangsters are dancing at me. Wow, you really got me. Take my wallet. And here, take my shoes too. (on "Caught Up" by Usher)
  • Fraser Young: I just can't make fun of Ashlee Simpson, it's like making fun of someone in the Special Olympics. (on "La La" by Ashlee Simpson)
  • Fraser Young: It sounds like they're writing a high school essay that has to be 1000 words! It sounds stupid! Who cares, as long as we get 50 percent! (on "I’m Just a Kid" by Simple Plan)

Episode 1.05[edit]

(Ciara climbs on top of Ludacris' car and starts dancing while on knees)

(Two black girls are playing jump rope and one mouths "hell yeah" of the line "To the victims of welfare for we living in hell here, hell yeah")

  • Sabrina Jalees: Don't jump rope chants go like this; your mom and my mom were up hanging laundry? (on "Jesus Walks" by Kanye West)

Episode 1.06[edit]

  • Trevor Boris: It's getting hot in there because you're all about to be burned alive. (on "Hot in Herre" by Nelly)
  • Trevor Boris: Nellyville, population, 0. Because we all died in a club fire. (on "Hot in Herre" by Nelly)

Episode 1.07[edit]

  • Ron Sparks: Please upgrade me to the "Britney Spears Will Touch Me" class. (on "Toxic" by Britney Spears)
  • George Pettit: You wanna hear a lie? I'll tell you a couple right now. I think you're an incredible singer, I expect at least 14 albums out of you, and you don't look like the third Olsen twin either. (on "Rumors" by Lindsay Lohan)
  • Ron Sparks: Lindsay, I don't have a daughter who looks up to you, but if I did, I'd beat her. (on "Rumors" by Lindsay Lohan)
  • George Pettit: Oh, feel sorry for me! I have all these girls and this heroin addiction that I can fully support! (on "Fall to Pieces" by Velvet Revolver)

Episode 1.08[edit]

  • Debra DiGiovanni: If Shawn Desman and Sean Paul had a love child, it would be Massari. (on "Be Easy" by Massari)

Episode 1.09[edit]

  • Quinn Martin: I'm waiting for an Arab guy to come and say "Get out of my desert!" (on "We Be Burnin'" by Sean Paul)

Episode 1.10[edit]

  • David Kerr: Am I the only one who's not threatened by breakdancing anymore? It's kind of like "Oooh, look at me, I did a headspin! DISS! Take that, Christina!" (on "Can't Hold Us Down" by Christina Aguilera featuring Lil' Kim)
  • Sabrina Jalees: That's right, Christina, start a gender riot in a low income neighborhood and march off to your Malibu home, because that's the right thing to do. (on "Can't Hold Us Down" by Christina Aguilera featuring Lil' Kim)
  • Trevor Boris: The first line of the song is "I'm gonna make somebody love me". Which is disturbing because he's in bed with the rest of the band. (on "Do You Want To" by Franz Ferdinand)
  • Sabrina Jalees: (In the music video, lead singer Cuomo Rivers drives by an asian girl playing in a tree tire swing) The little asian girl, Kumon Math, that's what she's high on.
  • David Kerr: Ludacris isn't just a rapper, he's a faith healer as well! In your face Kanye West! (on "Stand Up" by Ludacris featuring Shawnna)

Episode 1.11[edit]

Episode 1.12[edit]

  • Anna Von Frances: Excuse me, I'm just a drunk slut, and I was wondering... are you who I think you are? Yep! (on "Everybody's Fool" by Evanescence)
  • Fraser Young: (In the music video, Evanescence lead singer Amy Lee breaks a mirror and gets upset because her hand is bleeding) Mirrors break. Who knew? (on "Everybody's Fool" by Evanescence)
  • Debra DiGiovanni: I guess it doesn't really matter if you're a Speakerboxxx or a Love Below. The gay guy always wins. (on "Roses" by Outkast)
  • Fraser Young: (In the music video, Pink is singing against a man's stomach) Oh, I guess the dude swallowed the mic. (on "Just Like a Pill" by Pink)

Episode 1.13[edit]

  • Ron Sparks: I'm gonna give a bad review. Give a bad review, a bad review, give a bad review to you. (on "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas)

Episode 1.14[edit]

  • Sabrina Jalees: Oh, I'm hugging Asian people. I like Asian people, I'm hugging black people, I love Latin people... (on "Luxurious" by Gwen Stefani featuring Slim Thug)

Episode 1.15[edit]

  • Trevor Boris: this thing still on? I gotta go to the bathroom. (after a short period of time) I'm back! Did I miss anything? (on "Jesus of Suburbia" by Green Day)
  • Kardinal Offishall: If I see you in the street, I'm gonna rob you. And you think you had it tough growing up? I didn't have Transformers to play with, I had Go-Bots. That's tough! (on "Shadow" by Ashlee Simpson)
  • Kardinal Offishall: No, I don't feel sorry for you...except when it comes to your big ass nose. (on "Shadow" by Ashlee Simpson)

Episode 1.16[edit]

  • Darren Frost: Oooh...I got it! I can be in a Madonna video! (on "Hung Up" by Madonna)
  • Darren Frost: People who work in movie theaters aren't that talented. Trust me, I worked at a movie theater. I've seen it! (on "Heartbreaker" by Mariah Carey)
  • Matt Billon: This is the first time I've been turned on by a dead chick. No, second. Grandma was sure hot. (on "Helena" by My Chemical Romance)
  • Matt Billon: I saw this video and tried to do it at my grandfather's funeral, they ******* kicked me out. (on "Helena" by My Chemical Romance)
  • Ron Josol: Okay, he's trying to crab his crotch..."hey, look, look, it looks like I'm holding my penis. You want some of this, you want some of this air?" (on "Bye Bye Bye" by 'N Sync)

Episode 1.17[edit]

  • Nikki Payne: I gotta knock down all these magazines because they're too sexy! These boxes are too sexy, this vase and flowers are too sexy! I'm taking off this shirt because it's too sexy! Oh no, he realized that underneath is even sexier! Britney's going to the bathtub to wash off all the sex appeal! Oh my god, she's leaking sexy! (on "Everytime" by Britney Spears)
  • Nikki Payne: Hi, I'm Nikki Payne and I did Kanye West's workout plan- now I don't eat my own **** no more, hu hu hu! (on "The New Workout Plan" by Kanye West)

Episode 1.18[edit]

  • Fraser Young: (In the music video, Enrique Iglesias is pumping gas) Pumping gas, eh? Well, it's always good to have a backup in case the singing career is lacking. (on "Hero" by Enrique Iglesias)
  • Debra DiGiovanni: Okay, we're gonna need 10 guys to take down the pansy and his girlfriend. (on "Hero" by Enrique Iglesias)
  • Aaron Merke: I would never want to play hide and go seek with that would turn into a game of tickle giggle. (on "All That I've Got" by The Used)
  • Fraser Young: You understand there's a point where your eyes stop and your face begins, right? (on "All That I've Got" by The Used)

Episode 1.19[edit]

  • Perry Perlmutar: I've seen armless people do a better robot...I've seen dudes without torsos do a better robot. (on "L.O.V.E." by Ashlee Simpson)
  • Perry Perlmutar: She sounds like one of those people who come back from working in a bar in London, England saying, 'ello, good day to you, all we got on the menu is nothing but a crappy music video.
  • Perry Perlmutar: Yeah, man, we shared our real problems. Thanks for sharing us your dream. (on "When I'm Gone" by Eminem)
  • Perry Perlmutar: What you gotta do to get your shorty back? Go to the doctor, get stuff fixed, and don't write a song where you call your weiner your shorty. (on "Burn" by Usher)

Episode 1.20[edit]

Episode 1.21[edit]

  • Dan LaVoie: She's like, "Look at me, I'm so pregnant!" And all the guys are like, "You, touch her! No, I don't wanna, you touch her! How do we tell her we're gay?" (on "Papa Don't Preach" by Kelly Osbourne)

Episode 1.22[edit]

  • Trevor Boris: Good, he keeps his Eminem music on his iPod. I keep my Eminem music in here. (holds up a garbage can) Look, my favorite! (on "My Band" by D12)
  • Sabrina Jalees: That's the most balls I've ever seen in a girl's face, and I'm friends with a lot of big sluts. (on "Batter Up" by Nelly and the St. Lunatics)
  • Jennifer Robertson: It's like his brother just graduated from art school and said "Dude, we're gonna film this super cool music video!" (on "The Denial Twist" by The White Stripes)

Episode 1.23[edit]

  • Trevor Boris: If I got a message back that said he was wearing white shoes, I'd write back and say I didn't know where he was. Why not Pumas? Those shoes look horrible! (on "Juicebox" by The Strokes)

Episode 1.24[edit]

  • Alex Nussbaum: Britney, before you open the door, make sure you know who it is. It just could be a stalker. (on "Lucky" by Britney Spears)

(Referring to the slow placed scene of dialogue at the video beginning)

Episode 1.25[edit]

Episode 1.26[edit]

  • David Kerr: If you're still playing with dolls, you're too young for fake breasts. (on "Stupid Girls" by Pink)
  • David Kerr: Look out, Dr. Phil. There is a new caring man out there and his name is Marshall Mathers. (on "Stan" by Eminem featuring Dido)
  • David Kerr: Why is it that Stan's inner voice sounds just like Eminem? (on "Stan" by Eminem featuring Dido)
  • Alex Nussbaum: Look at his name. "Stan" written in capital letters, with not just one but two exclamation marks, just in case you didn't know he was an intense guy. Stan! (on "Stan" by Eminem featuring Dido)

Episode 1.27[edit]

  • Nicole Arbour: When I see the lights, it makes me go boom boom boom shboom boom boom boom b-boom, spandex! (on "Sorry" by Madonna)
  • Steven Shehori: Whoa, looks like Madonna isn't choosy about the men she picks. But enough about Guy Ritchie. (on "Sorry" by Madonna)
  • Steven Shehori: (In the music video, Madonna dances in a MMA cage) We now observe Madonna in her natural habitat. (on "Sorry" by Madonna)

Episode 1.28[edit]

Episode 1.29[edit]

  • Roddy Colmer: You're fired. You're fired. You're so fired. You're gay. You're fired. (on "Walk Away" by Kelly Clarkson)

Episode 1.30[edit]

Episode 1.31[edit]

  • Linda Dano (speaking in the music video): He is 25 years old, and she is 84 years old.
  • Sabrina Jalees: Please welcome Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher! (on "The Hardest Part" by Coldplay)
  • Pink (music video lyrics): My parents hated me, my teachers dated me.
  • Ron Josol: Oh, the cat is out of the bag! You were one of those girls?! (on "Don't Let Me Get Me" by Pink)

Episode 1.32[edit]

  • Matt Alden: I'm not sure, but I think Shaggy just recited the alphabet backwards somewhere in there. (on "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy featuring Rikrok)

Episode 1.33[edit]

  • Dini Dimakos: Yeah, you'll talk to this basket case, but when there's a hot guy you'll be like, "Oh, no, I can't talk, I'm all shy and nervous!" (on "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield)

Episode 1.34[edit]

  • Trevor Boris: "Who knew" that this would be such a crappy video. I had a feeling. (on "Who Knew" by Pink
  • Alex Nussbaum: Zeus shows him a yellow paper. Is it that he needs help reading it, or is he challenging Chamillionaire to see if he can read? (on "Ridin'" by Chamillionaire featuring Krazyie Bone)
  • Fraser Young: That's my parents arguing over whose fault it is that they forgot my 9th birthday. (on "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley)

Episode 1.35[edit]

  • Ali Rizvi: So if Satan plays a guitar, what does Jesus play? Like...a flute or something? (on "Tribute" by Tenacious D)

Episode 1.36[edit]

Episode 1.37[edit]

  • Dini Dimakos: For a virgin, Jon's pretty flexible....wanna go out some time? (on "S Club Party" by S Club 7)
  • Dini Dimakos: I give this video 4 S Cluuuuuuuuuuuuuubs out of 5 S Cluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuubs! (on "S Club Party" by S Club 7)

Season 2[edit]

Episode 2.01[edit]

Episode 2.02[edit]

(In the video beginning, Jessica and other show business counterparts try to outdo each other in hypothetical "Midas touch" scenarios with a fame twist, each starting with "I wanna be so famous...")

Episode 2.03[edit]

  • Dini Dimakos: Animal cruelty: dying a dog's fur purple. Human cruelty: making a human's hair look like a poodle. (on "Morris Brown" by Outkast featuring Scar and Sleepy Brown)

Episode 2.04[edit]

  • Laurie Elliott: You're not here for our entertainment? Oh, why would you be, you're just an entertainer... (on "U + Ur Hand" by Pink)

Episode 2.05[edit]

  • Hugh Phukovsky: I don't need to listen to a robot talk about love. Robots don't know anything about love. Love comes from here. The human heart...of a 50-year old Jewish man. (on "Too Little Too Late" by JoJo)

Episode 2.06[edit]

  • Fraser Young: You gotta understand, this was made in 1984. They didn't even have pencils back then! They just had to throw dirty rocks at a piece of paper and hope it makes a picture. (on "Take on Me" by a-ha)

Episode 2.07[edit]

Episode 2.08[edit]

  • Ron Sparks: If I tried to put my thumbs down any further, I would mess my pants. And then my pants would be full of Hinder. (on "Lips of an Angel" by Hinder)

Episode 2.09[edit]

  • Boomer Phillips: I could kick Tinkerbell in the face... and not feel bad. And I'm a guy who loves dogs. Just... Kick it in the face!! (on Paris Hilton's chihuahua Tinkerbell in "Nothing in This World" by Paris Hilton)
  • Trevor Boris: All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth, made out of diamonds, bitches! (on "Chain Hang Low" by Jibbs)
  • Trevor Boris: "I'm madly in anger with you"? Okay, that is officially the gayest line in all of heavy metal. (on "St. Anger" by Metallica)

Episode 2.10[edit]

Episode 2.11[edit]

  • Nikki Payne: Ooh you naughty cake I’m gonna wrestle in some cake to make me sure if it doesn’t hurt your children. (on "Fergalicious" by Fergie featuring
  • Dini Dimakos: There are two places where Fergie doesn't charge for admission: Fergieland and between her legs. Coincidentally, they are the same place. (on "Fergalicious" by Fergie featuring
  • Trevor Boris: This video is sh-, this video is sh-, this video is sh-, shit shit shit shit! (on "Fergalicious" by Fergie featuring

Episode 2.12[edit]

Episode 2.13[edit]

  • Ron Sparks: Hey, some weird guy in a trenchcoat just followed a half-black, half-white woman up my staircase. Get over here! (on "Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson)

Episode 2.14[edit]

Episode 2.15[edit]

Episode 2.18[edit]

Episode 2.19[edit]

  • Ron Sparks: So you go driving around in your parents car, without a license, and you pick up some run-away, and she's underaged, and you go to jail, and then they have to come back early to bail you out? Yeah, parents just don't understand. What is with parents!? (on "Parents Just Don't Understand" by DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince)

Episode 2.22[edit]

Episode 2.23[edit]

  • Nicole Arbour: Just when I thought she couldn't copy Gwen anymore, she went and got black Harajuku girls. (on "Glamorous" by Fergie featuring Ludacris)

Episode 2.26[edit]

  • Andrew Johnston: "Why don't you like me?" I'll tell you why I don't like you, Mika, because you say "like" like you're licking something. Presumably...some dude's ballsack. High five! (on "Grace Kelly" by Mika)

Episode 2.28[edit]

  • Darrin Rows: This video made me want to kill myself, even more than the Marilyn Manson video, which really made me want to kill myself. So this episode of Video on Trial could end with a double suicide, in which I kill myself twice, which is mathematically impossible. (on "I Don't Love You" by My Chemical Romance)

Episode 2.29[edit]

  • Ron Sparks: Dude, these space people came billions of miles just to meet you. I really think they'll be willing to walk across your room. You're gonna have to run further than that. (on "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell)

Season 3[edit]

Episode 3.01[edit]

Episode 3.02[edit]

Episode 3.03[edit]

(referring to the lead singer, Bert McCracken)

(In the video, Bert projectile vomits in a bartender's face)

  • Dini Dimakos:The next time some guy grabs my ass on the street, I'll be like (mimics projectile vomiting) How do you like that?! (on "Pretty Handsome Awkward by The Used)

Episode 3.05[edit]

Episode 3.07[edit]

(music video dialogue:Who's Soulja Boy?!)

(Every clip of the chorus "...superman dat ho" is compiled and in between each clip, Ward Anderson interjects)

Episode 3.09[edit]

Episode 3.12[edit]

  • Andrew Johnston: You lied to me... you told me you were a chick. Oh my god, she is such a tranny. (on "Wake Up Call" by Maroon 5)

Episode 3.14[edit]

  • Josh Ramsay: Twenty bucks says ten years from now, Britney Spears is trying to sleep with her kids' friends. She's fifty pounds overweight and she's going, "YOU WANNA PIECE OF ME?!" (on "Piece of Me" by Britney Spears)
  • Josh Ramsay: I wonder if the story is, like, one of those lost in translation things... It makes sense in Swedish, but in English, it's a little like when you're going around Ikea and you're like, "Oh, I want to have this chair, but its name is 'Svinlodenlinlin.'" (on "Tick Tick Boom" by The Hives)

Episode 3.16[edit]

Episode 3.20[edit]

  • Andrew Johnston: Sexiest bitch in this video, right there. That 70-year old woman and her dog. (on "We Like to Party" by Vengaboys)

Episode 3.21[edit]

Episode 3.22[edit]

Season 4[edit]

Episode 4.01[edit]

Episode 4.06[edit]

Episode 4.13[edit]

  • Boomer Phillips: You can just tell Beyonce passed on this one. 'Give it to Slango or whatever the hell my sister's name is.' (on "Sandcastle Disco" by Solange Knowles)
  • Dini Dimakos: She dresses like what our grandparents thought hookers in the future would dress like. (on "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga)

Episode 4.18[edit]

(Music video dialogue: Did you miss me?)

Season 5[edit]

Episode 5.13[edit]

  • Trixx: Are you gonna make out with a girl?

Season 6[edit]

Episode 6.07[edit]

(In the music video, the song's title is displayed on the screen)

  • Debra DiGiovanni: Now I will tell you off the top, that is not how you spell champagne. I am pretty sure there's a 'g' in it. (on "Shampain" by Marina and the Diamonds)

Episode 6.08[edit]

(In the music video, Dirt Nasty is shown at a bar mitzvah)

  • Hunter Collins: Now this how you throw a bar mitzvah. Man, my bar mitzvah was the worst. Everyone was just yelling at me, like, "You didn't learn the Scriptures! Why are you wearing a Pittsburgh Penguins jersey? You're 25! You aren't even Jewish!", and I was like, "Just give me your money and presents already." (on "I Can't Dance" by Dirt Nasty featuring LMFAO)

Episode 6.19[edit]

(In the music video, Kesha and James Van Der Beek shoot at each other with guns that fire rainbows, killing various unicorns in the proccess)

  • Trevor Boris: Oh, this is good to know. So now, if you're ever attacked by unicorns...which don't exist...just shoot them with rainbows...which isn't possible. (on "Blow" by Kesha)

Episode 6.21[edit]

(In the music video, a woman pushes a man who is bleeding from the head out of a moving car in the desert)

  • Boomer Phillips: This is damn double-standard bullshit at its best. If this was the guy pushing the girl out of the car because she had a head wound, never be aired! But if it's the girl pushing the guy out, totally fine! (on "Rill Rill" by Sleigh Bells)

Season 8[edit]

Episode 8.18[edit]

  • Julia Hladkowicz: This video makes me want to take away my own women's right to vote. (on "Big Banana" by Havana Brown)
  • Sabrina Jalees: I can just imagine the meeting Havana has with the record producers. They were probably like; "Ok Havana what do you want to do a song about? (dumb voice) Banana... (normal voice) Just bananas? (dumb voice) Actually, big bananas. (on "Big Banana" by Havana Brown)

External Links[edit]

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