Walk of Shame

From Wikiquote
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Walk of Shame is a 2014 movie starring Elizabeth Banks as an infield news reporter who aspires to be a studio anchor when under the impression that she didn't get her promotion, goes clubbing with friends and drinks heavily. Hanging outside the club inebriated has her taken home by the club bartender who peculiarly has absolutely no intention of abusing her. When she wakes up, her fear of cats has her fleeing his apartment and realising her car has been towed has her wandering across downtown Los Angeles to get back her vehicle. Written and directed by Steven Brill.


  • People say cats are clean but they're actually really filthy.


Rose: I can't wait to get my drink on. And get my dance on. And... Just those two things. Denise.
Denise: What?
Rose: Meghan. Meghan! Meghan Miles. Either she's not home or she's ignoring us.
Denise: Or she's incapacitated, tied up... or maybe she had a stroke or a seizure or something.
Rose: Denise, this is Brentwood. Nothing bad ever happens in Brent... Oh, my God, O.J. Simpson. I just remembered that. Yeah.
Denise: Meghan! It's open.
Rose: Honey, you are not back on the farm in Texas. You cannot just leave your door unlocked.
Meghan: Hey, party girls. What's up? What do you want to drink? I have tap water. Wait.
Rose: Wait, what's going on? Where's Kyle?
Meghan: He's at the supermarket.
Rose: And, um, where's all your stuff?
Meghan: Oh. Um... Kyle took it all to the supermarket. The supermercado. He's gone. He, um... He said he didn't know who I was anymore, and then he left and he took everything.
Rose: That's so weird. When is he coming back? Why did you not tell us?
Meghan: I don't know. I'm sorry. Rosie, I just...
Rose: Yeah, but, honey, we're your friends. We're not gonna judge you.
Meghan: Hang on. It's Dan.
Boss: Meghan, don't freak out, but they're going with Wendy Chang. Meghan, are you okay?
Meghan: Chang!
Denise: This is such a terrible time for Kyle to not be here.
Rose: Denise, shut up.
Meghan: They gave it to Wendy Chang. She's an anchor in San Francisco.
Rose: There you go, honey. That's a diversity hire. Asian. What can you do about that?
Meghan: She's not even Asian. She's adopted. She has red fucking hair. I'm sorry. That was mean. Good for her. No.
Rose: Screw Chang. You are the best.
Denise: Yeah. No one reads the news like you, Meghan.
Rose: We're going to sit down and come up with a plan to fix your life. Okay, guys, no more pity party.
Meghan: It's fine.So go. I'll be fine. I'm just gonna stay here and catch up on Idol.
Rose: No! We're not gonna leave you here. You don't even have your dog.
Meghan: Technically, it was Kyle's dog.
Denise: Who cares? Forget it. Get a cat.
Meghan: Ew. That's gross. Cats hate me.You know that.
Denise: People say cats are clean, but they're really filthy.
Meghan: I am sorry, okay? Whatever.
Rose: I'm gonna take you to a club, you're gonna meet some young stupid hot guy, and you're gonna take all your anger and aggression out on his penis.
Meghan: I don't know, I don't do that with penises. I'm more of a relationship type of girl.
Rose: We're taking you out. Come on. Let's go.
Denise: Fine, but I'm wearing these sweatpants.
Rose: No. You're gonna wear something slutty, like Denise.
Denise: I don't own anything slutty like Denise.
Rose: Denise, give Meghan your dress.
Denise: But...
Rose: No buts. You can wear one of her pantsuits.
Denise: Ew. Ew.
Meghan: Why is it so loud in here?
Rose: Isn't it great? This is what you need.
Meghan: Shots time. Already?
Rose: Yup, that's right. Throw it back. Unless you're too soft.

Officer Walter: I have nothing against... uh, modern... female entrepreneurs.
Sergeant Dave: Do not approach the vehicle. Ma'am, what you're doing is the opposite... of not approaching the vehicle.
Meghan: But I didn't do anything wrong.
Sergeant Dave: Really? You haven't done anything wrong? What, are you going out to get some eggs? Just wrapping up your paper route? It's time to grow up.
Officer Walter: Don't be on your knees. Off his streets and grow the fuck up, okay?

Rose: You better be telling the truth, psycho, because I will out-psycho you. And if you hurt Meghan, I will reign fucking fury down on you.
Gordon: Relax. Where do you live?
Rose: Where the fuck is that?
Gordon: It's downtown near the Sixth Street bridge.
Rose: People live there?
Gordon: Yeah. I do.

Denise: He is lying to us, there is no subway in Los Angeles.
Gordon: Yes, there is!
Denise: Where? How come I've never seen it?
Gordon: It's underground.

Scrilla: Why the hell would KZLA's Meghan Miles be sucking dick for crack in our 'hood?
Meghan: No, no, I'm not sucking dick for crack.
Hulk: What you're sucking dick for then?
Meghan: Nothing!
Hulk: That shit's free?

Meghan: Pookie, I can't take your crack.
Pookie: It's worth about $10 on the street. But don't smoke it. It normally doesn't end well, at least for me.
Meghan: Pookie, I cannot take your crack.
Pookie: No. No, no. I insist. Please. When a crackhead gives you his crack, you have his heart right there. Just remember, shout out your boy Pookie next time you're on air, okay?
Meghan: Um, okay. [Starts walking away]
Pookie:And don't forget to shout out Scrilla and Hulk--
Meghan: Yup. [Continues walking]
Pookie: and Skip, Skip-a-doo, Treezy, B-Bow-- not to be confused with G-Bow-- Little Markeese and also my Uncle Joseph.
Meghan: Sure. [Continues walking]
Pookie: He's locked down in Chino.
Meghan: Okay. [Continues walking]
Pookie: Oh, and Meghan Miles?
Meghan: Yeah? [Really far away]
Pookie: Be well.
Meghan: Be well too. [Continues walking]

Meghan: Hey, I don't wanna waste anyone's time. I'm gonna assume that you're a crack dealer. And, um, I was wondering if you wanted a little more...
Figueroa dealer: A little more what?
Meghan: [Whispering] A little more crack. You know, like, maybe I could cash it in for some money.
Figueroa dealer: You wanna sell me crack?
Meghan: Well, I technically don't wanna sell it because I think that that's wrong. But I was hoping that maybe make a return or something.
Figueroa dealer: Oh. Okay. A return. Yeah. You got the receipt? The, Uh, or maybe the box it came in?
Meghan: Oh, come on, man, I just have the crack.
Figueroa dealer: Oh, you just got the crack?
Meghan: Yeah, that's all I have. And I just thought, you know, you could add it to your stash...
Figueroa dealer: Uh-huh.
Meghan: ...give me, like, 10 bucks, and then you can sell it for more, and that's good business.
Figueroa dealer: You don't walk into McDonald's with your own hamburgers... and try to sell it to 'em. You know why? Because they already got their own hamburgers. They're not gonna look at your hamburgers and be like, "Oh, shit. She's got hamburgers. That looks like a good deal. Maybe I could buy 'em, turn around and sell 'em for twice as much."
Meghan: Crack is all the same, right? It's just this little thing.
Figueroa dealer: Put that shit away. What the fuck you doing, trying to set me up?
Meghan: I'm saying that it would be very easy to pass off as your own crack. It's probably all from the same place, isn't it? I technically got it from Pookie who, I'm sure, got it from Scrilla.
Figueroa dealer: Scrilla?
Meghan: Yeah, yeah. It's his crack.
Figueroa dealer: You wanna unload Scrilla's shit on my corner, pass it off as my own? You got a death wish, lady? Yo, Ladeke! [Whistles]
Meghan: What?! Who's Ladeke?!
Figueroa dealer: Deal with this shit. School this bitch right now. You're in the wrong territory. This is the Figueroa Crew, man.
Meghan: I'm going.
Figueroa dealer: No, no, no, no, no. I'm not done with you.
Meghan: I'm getting on the bus.
Figueroa dealer: Come back here, man. You wanna disrespect me? Yo, Ladeke, what am I, a sparrow? When I whistle, you got to respond!

Old woman: Shame.
Meghan: Are-- Are you talking to me?
Old woman: Have you no shame?
Meghan: I don't know who you think you are, Judgey Judgey Judgeyson,
Old woman: Why don't you get your pimp to drive you? These are good people!
Meghan: Oh, I'm sorry. I missed the sign "good people only." How do you know what is in my soul?
Bus driver: Listen. I'm gonna give you some advice.
Meghan: Sure.
Bus driver: You might wanna think about another line of work, 'cause you ain't no good at this. If you ain't even got $1.50, you probably should think about retiring as a whore. And if you do scrape up $1.50, use it to buy yourself a sandwich. That's the reason you can't turn no tricks-- 'cause you ain't got no meat on your bones. Now, that advice was free.
[Bus driver maces Meghan, she runs off the bus, slams into a metal sliding and falls down, with the bus driver bowing to applauding bus riders]

Rose: Denise, four-point douche test. Go.
Gordon: What?
Denise: Have you ever been to a strip club?
Gordon: Yes, but they make me uncomfortable.
Denise:What do you call your penis?
Gordon: My penis.
Denise: That's hot.
Rose: Denise, Focus.
Denise: Sorry. How do you feel about Robert Pattinson?
Gordon: Not my favorite actor.
Denise: You shut your mouth.
Gordon: Okay.
Denise: Can I get a "whoop, whoop"?
Gordon: Whoop, whoop.
Denise: No. Don't ever do that again.
Denise: Kill an innocent dog or cheat on your girlfriend?
Gordon: Cheat on my girlfriend. I'm not going to kill an innocent dog. That's sick.
Denise: You passed.

Boy: Lady, what are you doing with my bike?
Meghan: I'm really, really sorry. But I'm gonna need to borrow your bike. I got to get to my car. I got to get my life back. Have you ever had one of those days... where everything you do just goes wrong? And no matter how hard you try or how good your intentions, life just keeps beating, beating you down, huh? Well, I could really use a friend right now. So if you just let me borrow your bike, I'll have it back to you in no time. Really, I promise. It would just be so great if you could help me out.
Boy: [Sighs] Okay.
Meghan: Oh, kid. You're an angel.
Boy: Show me your boobs and I'll let you borrow my bike. Boobies.
Meghan: I had higher hopes for you. Yeah, let's go. Get over here. Come on. All right, get in close. Close your eyes first. [Pushes boy in the forehead and rides away on bike] I'm calling your mother.

Officer Walter: You saw this little in the yellow dress steal your bike?
Stolen bike boy: She was really scary.
Sergeant Dave: You got a good look at her?
Stolen bike boy: Yeah. She had these, like, crazy eyes.
Officer Walter: All right, kid. Come with us. Hop in. We'll do a ride-along, okay?
Stolen bike boy: But when we find her, I want five minutes alone with her, okay?
Sergeant Dave: Not okay, creepy kid. Get in the back. Be happy that you're coming. Just concentrate on apprehending the perp.
Stolen bike boy: Hey, driver, you got to go faster. We have to find the bike.
Sergeant Dave: It's "Officer."
Sergeant Steve: "Driver"?
Sergeant Dave: What, your dad rich or something?
Stolen bike boy: My dad's taxes pay your bills. Find the bike.
Sergeant Dave: Kid, if you don't shut up, I'm going to drop you off right on this corner.
Stolen bike boy: God, I just want to find my bike!
Sergeant Dave: And I just want to be fucking fishing!
[Stolen bike boy sobbing]
Officer Walter: Oh, come on. There you go. You've really hurt his feelings now.
Sergeant Dave: Well, the kid's an asshole.
Sergeant Dave: What are you smoking?
Officer Walter: It's an e-cig.
Sergeant Dave: Fake cigarette. That's dumb.
Stolen bike boy: Well, I smoke weed!
Sergeant Dave: Great. Now we have to arrest you.
Stolen bike boy:No. I was kidding.
Sergeant Dave: Well, you're already in the back.

Impound Woman: Are you trying to bribe me?
Meghan: No.
Impound Woman: That's a shame. You know, I'm thinking Quiznos for lunch today.
Meghan: How much?
Impound Woman: $500.
Meghan: Quiznos does not cost $500!
[Meghan has snuck into the impound lot and discovers her purse has been stolen from the vehicle by a smashed window]
Meghan: Fuck!... This!
[Meghan is driving her impounded vehicle illegally out of the lot with the sliding gate slowly closing]
Meghan: Yeah! Suck it, lady!
[Impound woman is watching CCTV and has sprung the anti-tire spiket Daves, popping Meghan's tires and the vehicle is slowly rolling on bare rims]
Meghan: Come on. Go. Come on. Go. Come on. Go, go, go, go. Come on. Come on. No, no, no, no, no.
[Vehicle is pincered between the sliding gates and Gordon knocks on Meghan's window]
Gordon: I know you. You're stuck again.
Meghan: You gonna--
Gordon: Hi. I'm Gordon. I'm-- From last night. How you doing?
Meghan: How you doing?

Sergeant Dave: Ma'am, did you see a woman in a yellow dress get on that helicopter?
Denise: I saw Meghan Miles, undercover investigator for KZLA, get on a helicopter.
Officer Walter: Wait. The woman we're chasing is just a reporter? Dear God, it's worse than we ever imagined. The hooker has infiltrated the media, where she's posing as KZLA's Meghan Miles.
Denise: What do you mean, she's infiltrated the media?
Rose: So, you're saying that our best friend Meghan is an undercover hooker?
Officer Walter: It looks that way.
Sergeant Dave: So, you have an idiot friend too?
Rose: Yeah. Mine's by choice. You got stuck with this guy, right?


External links[edit]

Wikipedia has an article about: