What's New, Pussycat?

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What's New, Pussycat? (Quoi de neuf, Pussycat? in French) is a 1965 film directed by Clive Donner and starring Peter Sellers, Peter O'Toole, Romy Schneider, Capucine and Ursula Andress. This was Woody Allen's film debut, as well as his first produced script.

Fritz Fassbender[edit]

  • I've hated you from the first moment I married you!
  • You are a monster and a monster, in that order.
  • Silence when you're shouting at me!
  • You'll like this group analysis, it's a real freak show. If it gets dull, we sing songs.
  • My wife, the creature that ate Europe, is here.

Michael James[edit]

  • Marriage? That's for life! It's like cement!
  • Look, I know you'll think this is crazy, but, er, when the light hits me from a certain direction, I'm... handsome.
  • I'll be back tomorrow. If I'm not back tomorrow, send for the police. If they're not back tomorrow, send my clothes.

Victor Skapopulis[edit]

  • We played strip chess. She had me down to my shorts and I fainted from tension.
  • I just burnt my finger! I'm going to go in the bathroom and scream. I'll be out in a minute.


Fritz Fassbender: You're grotesque!
Anna Fassbender: Lascivious adulterer!
Fritz Fassbender: Don't you dare call me that again until I have looked it up! [looks in dictionary] "Lascivious adulterer... a man who is a lascivious adulterer"? What kind of book is this?

Anna Fassbender: Is she prettier than me?
Fritz Fassbender: Is she prettier than you? I'm prettier than you!

Michael: Did you get a job?
Victor: Yes, I got something at the strip-tease. I help the girls dress and undress.
Michael: Nice job.
Victor: Twenty francs a week.
Michael: Not very much.
Victor: It's all I could afford.

Liz Bien: You're right. I must face my problems. I can't go through life being a semi-virgin.
Michael James: What, in the name of all that is gracious, is a semi-virgin?
Liz Bien: Here, I'm a virgin. In America, I'm not.
Michael James: What do they do? Stamp it on your passport?

Fritz Fassbender: My father, the most beloved gynecologist in Vienna, before they took him away on a morals charge for indecent exposure at the State Opera House, said, and I quote: "Please do not take me away, I will not do it again."
Victor Skakapopulis: Brilliant quote.
Fritz Fassbender: He was a brilliant pervert.

Michael James: Could you tell me about your typical clientele?
Etienne: My typical clientele?
Michael James: Typical.
Etienne: All the people who are here now are typical clientele.
Michael James: Really?
Etienne: There is a man cheating on his wife in room Lola Montez. There is a woman cheating on her two husbands in Carlotta. Two lovers of indeterminate sex in Reine Margot. And two men cheating in Don Juan.
Michael James: Yes. Well, one might say the joint is jumping.

Fritz Fassbender: I, uh, decided to follow you here.
Michael James: If you followed me here, how did you contrive to be here before me?
Fritz Fassbender: I followed you... very fast.


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