What About Bob?

From Wikiquote
Jump to: navigation, search

What About Bob? is a 1991 film about a successful psychiatrist who loses his mind after one of his most dependent patients tracks him down during his family vacation.

Directed by Frank Oz. Screenplay written by Tom Schulman.
Bob's a special kind of friend. The kind that drives you crazy!

Bob Wiley[edit]

  • I'm sailing!

I'm sailing! I'm sailing! I sail ! I'm a sailor ! I sail !

  • Your death therapy cured me you Genius!!!
  • What is this, isolation therapy?
  • Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic and so am I.
  • I'm sorry about barging in here like this.
  • [to man on bus] Hi. I'm Bob. Would you knock me out, please? Just hit me in the face.
  • I'm Sailing! I'm Sailing!
  • Why don't I start.
  • New Hampshire?!?!
  • I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful. I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful.
  • Good morning Gill... I said good morning, Gill.
  • A vacation from my problems! You bet I will!
  • Oh, no no no! That was not smart! That was not smart!
  • The simplest way to put it: I have problems.
  • I have a real big problem, moving.
  • Are you sure I'm not imposing?
  • It just makes my lips numb to think about it.
  • Baby step to the elevator. I'm in the elevator. AHHHHH!!!
  • [singing] I walk through the kitchen, with a bowl full of chicken, and I'm putting it in Fay & Leo, I mean Dr. Marvin's, refrigerator for the night.
  • Is this a bad time? Oh... the fam!
  • [after Leo throws him out enraged] Is this some radical new therapy?
  • So the Psychatrist has a patient. He draws a circle and says, "what do you think of when ypu see this?" He says "Sex". [the staff laugh] That's not the Joke yet, wait a second. He draws a picture of a tree and says "what do yo think of that one when you see it?" he says "Sex". Alright then he draws a picture of a car, a house. "Sex, Sex, Sex," The Doctor Says, "You know You're obsessed with sex." and the patient says "Well You're the one drawing all the dirty pictures".


Dr. Leo Marvin[edit]

  • On Monday we'll eat Gil on tuesday, we'll eat Bob.
  • Son of a bitchin' BOB!
  • (to Bob) GEDADDADACA!!! (get out of the car!!!)
  • Let's take a walk.
  • He can borrow my slicker!
  • [phone ringing] Better not be who I think it is.
  • I'm a failure.
  • DON'T TOUCH MY SISTER!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • NO I don't need any Valium!


Mrs. Guttman: Burn in hell, Dr. Marvin!
Mr. Guttman: She never says that.


Bob Wiley: Have you ever hear of Tourette's syndrome? Involuntarily shouting profanity?
Dr. Leo Marvin: It's exceptionally rare.
Bob Wiley: Shit-eating-son-of-a-bitch... bastard, douche-bag, twat, numb-nuts, Dick head, bitch!
Dr. Leo Marvin: Why exactly are you doing this?
Bob Wiley: If I fake it then I don't have it. You know it's the same with the cardiac arrest.

Dr. Leo Marvin: Are you married?
Bob Wiley: I'm divorced.
Dr. Leo Marvin: Would you like to talk about that?
Bob Wiley: There are two types of people in this world: Those who like Neil Diamond, and those who don't. My ex-wife loves him.

Dr. Leo Marvin: You've ruined my life! You've ruined my career! You've ruined my book! You've turned a peaceful house into an insane asylum! Get out!
Anna Marvin: Daddy!
Fay Marvin: What's gotten into you?
Dr. Leo Marvin: It was a disaster, Fay!
Fay Marvin: No, it wasn't. You were wonderful, sweetie.

Bob Wiley: [Bob have told Siggy to leave] Goodbye, rat-Dick suck-nut!
Siggy: [upstairs] Bye, dog-pissing-barf!
Dr. Leo Marvin: [screams from the bottom of the stairs] SIGMUND!
Bob Wiley: Later, testicle-head bosom-beaver! [looks out the window] Good Morning America's here!

Siggy: [the Marvins have told Bob to leave, and they are saying farewells] Goodbye, green-puking pissaint!
Bob Wiley: Later, barf-breath douche-mouth!

Siggy: I mean, my dad just dropped me in the water. He let me go with no warning. I mean, I nearly drowned. My whole life passed before my eyes.
Bob Wiley: You're lucky you're only 12.
Siggy: It was still grim.

Bob Wiley: What are we up to?
Dr. Leo Marvin: Death Therapy, Bob. It's a guaranteed cure.

Dr. Leo Marivn: I want some peace, and quiet.
Bob Wiley: I'll be quiet.
Siggy: I'll be peace.


  • Bob's a special kind of friend. The kind that drives you crazy!


External links[edit]

Wikipedia has an article about: