Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego? (season 4)

From Wikiquote
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Carmen's Final Location

[edit]
Sarah: Aw, man! This prison is heinous! The guards keep playing music by Kenny G. Get Carmen in here before I freak out! She scooted to (continent).
Robo: Robocrook Unit-059 calling. The judge threw the wrench at Robocrook. I'm sentenced to 20 years as a jailhouse soda machine. Get Carmen to help. You'll find her in (continent).
Eartha: This prison gym is terrible. I can only bench press 1000 pounds. Make Carmen bring me more weight. You'll find her in (continent).
Patty: (same as season 3)
Contessa: Prison life is so uncivilized. 600 rooms and not a room service menu in sight. Tell Carmen this is more than I can bear. She went to (continent).
Vic: (same as season 3)
Wonder Rat: Now that I'm in prison, I'll get really famous. They want me on Current Copy, Inside Affair, and Hard Edition. Tell Carmen to cut a deal. You'll find her in (continent).
Kneemoi: 92 planets, 92 jail cells, My frequent prisoner miles are really adding up. I'll give Carmen a free trip to Roddenberry. Go find her in (continent).
Double Trouble: (same as season 3)
Top Grunge: (same as season 3)

About Face [4.1]

[edit]

[Sarah Nade steals Balinese masks]

Chief: This is Sarah Nade.
Rockapella: (singing) Sarah Nade
Chief: She's sassy. She's revvin'. She sings like L7. Her last known whereabouts: Bali, Indonesia. The Balinese people have used elaborate handmade masks that's part of religious ceremonies for centuries. The masks were worn during drama performances where dancers act out stories or poems. It's believed the wear even becomes the character on his mask like a hero, a witch, or an animal. When not in use, these sacred masks are treated carefully and stored in temples or shrines. The Balinese also sells similar masks to tourists, but these aren't considered religious. Well, the souvenir shops got cleaned out today when Sarah Nade decided to use the masks in her new music video. She sang so loud she brought the masks to life. Then she filched the phony masks and stuffed them in the studio. Now the song's a smash, so Sarah suffered the masks into signing a lifetime deal with her. It's up to you to bring them back, gumshoes, and solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...ABOUT FACE!
(the Chief watches a movie while eating popcorn, while Greg enters)
Greg: Hey, listen. These should've been taken back to the video store already. What are you doin'? (sees a video cover) What is this? Frou-Frou Come Home? "The story of the little chihuaua bound for glory in the bright lights of Broadway." Chief, this is a Dog Movie!
Chief: And it's wonderful! This is the part where Frou-Frou escapes from the bad guy at the junkyard. But he forgets his lucky ribbon that his little girl owner gave to him when she was in the hospital, and he's going back!
Greg: Looks like I'm doin' the contest on my own today. Here's who won.
(the contest winners are revealed)
Greg: Congratulations to the winners.
(he looks closely at the movie in progress)
Greg: Hey, Chief, wait a minute. Is Frou-Frou really gonna jump from that train onto that little tiny piece of tuna-fish sandwich?! He's never gonna make it!
(he and the Chief share the popcorn, and Greg gives the Chief a signal to finish the contest rules, of which the Chief does)
Greg: Chief, Lassie and Rin-Tin-Tin are trapped inside the burning eraser factory.
Chief: Ah-ah-ah, don't worry. Frou-Frou's gonna get them out! (sirens) I see him! Look out!
Greg and the Chief: (excitedly) OH! HE BROUGHT HELP!! THEY'RE GETTING THE AMBULANCE!!! FROU-FROU!! FROU-FROU!!!
(they both laugh like crazy, and Greg is about to go away)
Greg: Okay. Um, these hafta go back by today.
Chief: Yeah. I'm on it.
Greg: Okay.
(he exits the office)
Chief: Oh, Frou-Frou, we could use you!
Plastic Diver Guy: Oh, no! That ominous music! Feline alert! Catfish at 12:00!
(a catfish, which is actually half-cat, half-fish, attacks him from above)
Rockapella: The one and only Plastic Diver Guy!
Sarah: Aw, man! This prison is heinous! The guards keep playin' music by Kenny G. Get Carmen in here before I freak out! She scooted to North America.

Space Place Chase [4.2]

[edit]

[Robocrook steals NASA's Space Camp]

Chief: This is Robocrook.
Rockapella: (singing) Robocrook
Chief: A down-and-dirty dust buster who vacuums up valuables for Carmen Sandiego. His last known whereabouts: Huntsville, Alabama. The word "camp" might remind you of mosquito bites and singing Kumbaya, but not if you've been to Space Camp at the U.S. Space and Rocket Center in Huntsville, Alabama. Space Campers fill their time working on model rockets, experiencing changes in gravity, and learning the history of rockets and the U.S. space program. The seven-day stay ends with a two-hour long simulated space shuttle flight. Every week, a whole new flock of students from around the world come to spend some time with their heads in the clouds. But their countdown stopped abruptly today when Robocrook vectored into the sector. His monitors indicated machinery, motivation, merriment, and minds at work. So the plutonium-plated pencil sharpener saucered over the center, zeroed in, then zapped it away. Gumshoes, today's case.
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: SPACE PLACE CHASE!
Robocrook: Robocrook Unit 0-59 calling. The judge threw the wrench at Robocrook. I'm sentenced to 20 years at the jailhouse soda machine. Get Carmen to help. You'll find her in Africa.

Gum Clues for Gumshoes [4.3]

[edit]

[Eartha Brute steals Moscow's GUM Department Store.]

Chief: This is Eartha Brute.
Rockapella: (singing) Eartha Brute, huh
Chief: A herculean hooligan who hauls heistables for Carmen Sandiego. Her last known whereabouts: Moscow, Russia. Across from Lenin's Tomb on Red Square stands the famed department store called GUM. Its initials G.U.M. stand for a Russian phrase meaning main department store of Moscow. Built under the sun in 1893, the stylish three-story GUM once housed more than 1,000 shops. Its glamour faded though once Communists took power, and GUM became a drab state-run store. But with capitalism now sweeping through Russia, GUM's glory days have returned. But the only sale at GUM today was a huge five finger discount. Eartha Brute, boared with her wardrobe of just one bodysuit, went on a shoplifting spree. That burly burglar marched into Moscow, then strutted out with the store. Gumshoes, track down Eartha in today's caper...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...GUM CLUES FOR GUMSHOES!

Patty's Plaster Picture Pinch [4.4]

[edit]

[Patty Larceny steals Diego Rivera's murals from Mexico]

Chief: This is Patty Larceny.
Rockapella: (singing) P-P-P-Patty
Chief: A gal with straight A's and twisted morals who walks the crooked path for Carmen Sandiego. Her last known whereabouts: Mexico. Painter Diego Rivera is a giant in the history of Mexican art. He was a big man who became hugely famous for enormous paintings called murals. Rivera was concerned with Mexico's poor and working class people and his art is often filled with their images. He thought his murals should be seen by everyone, not just those who go to museums. So instead of painting on canvas, Diego painted his murals on walls in public places. More than 100 Rivera murals can be seen throughout Mexico. Until today, that is when the prissy perp named Patty decided to privatize the previously public painting. She proceeded to purloin the pictures by pulling the paintings off their perches. Now, they pose for people to PPAC in Patty's Picture Place at a poultry peso a pop. Gumshoes, please retrieve those paintings from their present predicament...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...PATTY'S PLASTER PICTURE PINCH!

Medieval Evil [4.5]

[edit]

[Contessa steals Himeji Castle from Japan.]

Chief: This is Contessa.
Rockapella: (singing) Contessa
Chief: She loves robbery and snobbery, won't tolerate slobbery. Her last known whereabouts: Himeji, Japan. Himeji Town isn't a top tourist spot in Japan, but it is known for one big attraction: Himeji Castle. It was built in the small fort in the 1300s, then greatly enlarged about two centuries later. A feudal lord wanted the fort so big and sturdy there'd be no way enemies could get in. Well, his plan must have worked. Himeji Castle became one of Japan's finest medieval fortresses, and it's still in great shape today. Picnickers and tourists alike find it a nice spot to spend some time. Or they did until today when Contessa, whose blood goes a-boil and anything royal, decided to cop the castle by controlling a crafty kite. She worked a winch and the pinch was a cinch. Gumshoes, you got to track down that aristocratic fanatic and solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...MEDIEVAL EVIL!

Kamehameha Mayhem [4.6]

[edit]

[Vic the Slick steals the King Kamehameha statue from Honolulu, Hawaii.]

Chief: This is Vic the Slick.
Rockapella: (singing) Vic the Slick
Chief: That putrid pitchman who pilfers for Carmen Sandiego. His last known whereabouts: Honolulu, Hawaii. King Kamehameha I started out as a warrior on Hawaii's biggest island, Hawaii. Kamehameha took over that island by force, then invaded other Hawaiian islands. By 1810, he ruled them all and managed to unite people who had been fighting each other for centuries. Although King Kamehameha had been a fierce warrior, he became a compassionate popular leader. After he died, the king's memory was honored by the statue in front of Honolulu's old judiciary building. Well, that honor is a goner, gumshoes. Today, Vic honked into Honolulu looking to catch a king instead of a wave. A Kamehameha commotion followed the slick one's arrival. But when last seen, Vic and his captive king were kicking back with coconut cocktail. Gumshoes, you have to unravel this royal ripoff and solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...KAMEHAMEHA MAYHEM!

Countdowner [4.7]

[edit]

[Wonder Rat steals the European Space Center from French Guiana]

Chief: This is Wonder Rat.
Rockapella: (singing) Wonder Rat
Chief: A human vermin dressed as a rodent vermin who works for that UVA vermin, Carmen Sandiego. His last known whereabouts: Kourou, French Guiana. The South American jungle seems an unlikely site for the world's busiest rocket launching center, but that's just what you'll find at Kourou. You see, the Earth rotates faster near the equator, so Ariane rockets, launched from Kourou, benefit from that extra speed. The payloads on most Ariane rockets are satellites used by television, businesses, and governments. Nearly 70% of the world's commercial satellites are now launched at this European Bat Space Center. But that rocket center got rocked today when Wonder Rat copped on the scene. First, that hooligan hotwired an Ariane, then he counted down and blasted off, whisking his whiskers and lifting the launch center up into outer space. Now that orbiting lowlife is high above Earth deploring his own RATSAT and space station. Gumshoes, bring down that rodent and crack today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...COUNTDOWNER!
Wonder Rat: Now that I'm in prison, I'll get really famous. They'll want me on Current Copy, Inside Affair and Hard Edition. Tell Carmen to cut a deal. You'll find her in North America.

How to Get a Head in Crime [4.8]

[edit]

[Kneemoi steals the Olmec head stones.]

Chief: This is Kneemoi.
Rockapella: (singing) Kneemoi
Chief: A spaced out space cadet in charge of intergalactic hijinks for Carmen Sandiego. Her last known whereabouts: Mexico's Gulf Coast. From about 1200 to 400 BC, the ancient culture of the Olmecs flourished in this region. As Middle America's first organized society, the Olmecs developed math, religion, a system of writing, and they built monumental structures. Among the discovered Olmec artifacts are giant stone heads from 5 to 11 feet tall. The heads were carved without the use of metal tools and are believed to be portraits of prominent Olmec leaders. But today, those carved craniums headed out of town. Nefarious Kneemoi dropped in, copped the head, then copted them back to Roddenberry. Gumshoes, you got to end Kneemoi's lesson in...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...HOW TO GET A HEAD IN CRIME!
Kneemoi: 92 planets, 92 jail cells! My frequent prisoner miles are really adding up! I'll give Carmen a free trip to Roddenberry. Go find her in North America.

The Dragony of Defeat [4.9]

[edit]

[Double Trouble steal the International Dragon Boat Races from Hong Kong.]

Chief: This is Double Trouble.
Rockapella: (singing) Double Trouble (Trouble)
Chief: Carmen's sorted set of synchronized slackers. Their last known whereabouts: Hong Kong. A couple thousand years ago, poet Qu Yuan protested against the corrupt government by drowning himself in the Miluo River. Locals voted out to save him, but it was too late so they threw dumplings in the water to feed hungry fish that might dine on, well, the departed poet. This legend is remembered each year as Hong Kong hosts the International Dragon Boat Races. Paddlers from across the globe raced dragon decorated boats in Victoria Harbour while spectators dine on those legendary dumplings. Or they did until today when Double Trouble thronged into Hong Kong to do some wrong. They used their delinquent flyer miles to hound a dragon jet, then hovered over the harbor and boosted the boats. They gave passers by the evil eye. Was it optical collusion or were those twisted twins just harboring a grudge? That's up to you to find out, gumshoes, as you try to solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...THE DRAGONY OF DEFEAT!

Frix the Grand Prix [4.10]

[edit]

[Top Grunge steals the Monaco Grand Prix from Monte Carlo.]

Chief: This is Top Grunge.
Rockapella: (singing) Top Grunge
Chief: A detestable irrestable who swipes stuff for Carmen Sandiego. His last known whereabouts: Monte Carlo, Monaco. In the thrilling sport of auto racing, Grand Prix racers are supreme. They feature the world's top drivers competing in the sport's most expensive high-tech cars and for a glamourous Grand Prix challenge, the place to race is Monaco. Each spring since 1929, the world's rich and famous have gathered here to watch drivers race on the twisting city streets of Monte Carlo. The S-curves and hairpin turns of the course push man and machine to the limit. But no one took the checkered flag in Monaco today because Top Grunge took the Grand Prix. That grease monkey motored into Monte Carlo, then ran his stint by turning signs out of line. He rerouted the race and gave those daring drivers a bum steer. Before you could say the words "pit stop", those race cars were stopped for good in the Garage de Grunge. Gumshoes, you've got to heave the cry of Monaco and...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...FRIX THE GRAND PRIX!

You Ain't Nothin' But a House Thief [4.11]

[edit]

[Sarah Nade steals Graceland]

Chief: This is Sarah Nade.
Rockapella: (singing) Sarah Nade
Chief: A mischievious musician in residence for that maestro of mayhem Carmen Sandiego. Her last known whereabouts: Memphis, Tennessee. By 1957, 22-year old Elvis Presley was rich and famous, so he bought a mansion called Graceland. Over the next 20 years, the rock star decorated the 23-room mansion as only someone with a lot of money and, um, unique tastes can do. The billiard room is canopied with yards of paisley fabric while the jungle theme living room has shag carpet on the ceiling. The lemon-yellow TV room has three TVs and a mirrored ceiling. Graceland's more than 700,000 yearly visitors get to see all this, plus Elvis' car museum, and his two jet planes parked nearby. Or they did until today when Sarah Nade popped up at Presley's palace. After eyeballing one of the King's gold records, that greedy gal made a grab for them all. She anchored Graceland securely, then pinched Presley's pink Cadillac, and before you could say Anchors Aweigh, glorious Graceland was gone. Now don't be cruel, gumshoes. Love Memphis tender and solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...YOU AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT A HOUSE THIEF!
Chief: Greg, come in here, now! (ducks down)
Greg: Geez, guys, this looks, uh, fairly serious. If you don't mind, hang here. I'll be right back. (enters the office where the Chief is nowhere in sight) Yeah, Chief? Chief!
Chief: (pops up from under her desk, startling Greg) Greg, I think I'm losing my mind. (Greg sighs) I can't find my ruler!
Greg: Chief, calm down. I'll help you look for it. (searches under the desk with her)
(as they search, the Chief's coffee mug is being taken by ants, although they are not seen, who sing "The Ants Go Marching")
Chief: Oh, never mind. I'll just buy a new one.
Greg: Chief, listen. You hear that?
Chief: Sounds like singing.
Greg: Yeah. (sees her muffin moving) Chief, look, your muffin is moving.
Chief: Oh, Greg, muffins don't move. (they both examine the muffin closely) Well, I'll be. (magnifies the muffin) Those are ants!
Greg: Chief, those aren't just ants. Those are rare singing ants.
Chief: Oh, really?
Greg: Yeah.
Chief: Well, maybe they can sing about the contest.
(the ants sing the contest rules to the tune of their song)
Greg: Oh, that's good. That's very good. (the Chief finishes the contest rules)
Greg and the Chief: Congratulations to the winners.
Ants: Ready, eat! (they instantly eat the muffin)
Greg: Uh, you know, Chief, normally, I know this is a time when you wanna call an exterminator, but, uh, they're so cute. Don't you think? They're cute!
Chief: Oh, all right. I understand. I can get another muffin.
Greg: Another muffin.
Chief: And another ruler.
Greg: Another ruler.
Chief: And ano-- (the ants take the desk) Wha--
Greg: I'm particularly ambitious today.
Chief: Oh, I think I better call the bug people.
Greg: Yeah. (gets up from the desk) Yeah. You do that. (exits the office and returns to HQ, where the ants take the camera) Hey. Hey, don't take the camera. Hey, come on! We got a show to do, guys! Don't take the camera! Come on! (to a cameraman) Go to the Phone Tap.
Chief: (at the end of the 1st round) ...And our ACME Voice Identification Badge and Leave-a-Message Wallet. (opens it up, revealing an image of herself) Perfect for storing messages. (presses a button and a cow moo is heard) And, uh, the occasional large pet.
(as the Chief, Greg, and the Gumshoes travel to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania)
Chief: Hey, pretty cool view, Greg. The latest from ACME Car Net?
Greg: Heck, no, Chief. It's a loner from George Jetson. (laughs) Well, I like it!
(an image of the model neighborhood from Mister Rogers' Neighborhood is shown)
Chief: Finally, take a stroll through Pittsburgh's most famous neighborhood. Oh, boy. These aerial shots make cars and houses look just like toys. What? They are toys? Oh. Oh, of course. Pittsburgh's most famous neighborhood is the home of Mister Rogers, but this is no time for make-believe, Gumshoes.
Sarah: (says the exact same thing in About Face)

Fugone But Not Fugotten [4.12]

[edit]

[Kneemoi steals the Fugu from Shimonoseki, Japan]

Greg: Hey, they're just back from their world wide tour with Touche' Turtle.
Rockapella: Rockapella! (blow kisses)
Chief: This is Kneemoi.
Rockapella: (singing) Kneemoi
Chief: A close encounter of the worst kind who beams up booty for Carmen Sandiego. Her last known whereabouts: Shimonoseki, Japan. When lovers of raw fish want real dining adventure, the fish they ask for is fugu. Fugu, or blowfish, is prized for its flavor and for a special thrill. It could kill you. That's because fugu contains a poison for which there is no antidote. Japan's fugu diners put their lives in the hands of chefs who spend years learning how to remove the poison. Or they did until today when noxious Kneemoi staged a spaced out splashdown. and metamorphfishized into a foal fugu. She spouted a snorkel, then started snorting up the sea creatures into a felonious fugu feast. That intergalactic glutton gobbled until she was totally bloated on blowfish. She wants to fry up the fugu into a fatal fricassee. Gumshoes, you've got license to kill as you try to solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...FUGONE BOT NOT FUGOTTEN!
(Greg enters the Chief's office, where she is sleeping)
Greg: Chief! Oh, the Chief's asleep. Guess there's no meeting today.
(he exits the office, but is stopped by a translucent image of the Chief who walks in)
Out-of-body experience Chief: Greg, where're you going?
Greg: Chief! You were asleep, but I don't know what's goin' on.
Out-of-body experience Chief: Ah, well, Greg, I'm just having an out-of-body experience. Sometimes, I find it very relaxing to take a stroll.
Greg: That's a cool trick, Chief.
(another out-of-body experience Chief walks in)
Out-of-body experience Chief 2: Hey, how you doing, Greg?
Greg: Wait a minute. 3 Chiefs?!
(the real Chief wakes up)
Chief: Greg. Oh, I'm so glad you're here!
Greg: Me, too, Chief. There's some really weird stuff happenin', if you know what I mean.
Chief: Oh, no, Greg. I'm just having an out-of-body experience.
Greg: Oh, well, that's all fine and good, Chief, but what about her?
Chief: Oh, well, just do the contest, while we're still waking up.
Greg: Oh, okay. Sure, Chief. Here are today's winners. (winners are shown)
All: Congratulations to today's winners.
Greg: Thanks a lot, ladies. (does the contest rules) Each day--
Chief: Uh, allow us.
All Chiefs: Each day, we'll pick 5 people who's lists are correct and send them each a Carmen T-Shirt.
Greg: Very nice. Okay, Chief. Now, explain the 3rd one.
Chief: Well, obviously, my out-of-body experience is having an out-of-body experience.
Greg: Obviously. (exits the office)
Chief: Mm-hmm. Nice work, ladies.
Greg: You know, the Chief is not the only one that can do that trick. Check this out. (shows an out-of-body experience of himself, which appears to be jumping in the air) Whoa-whoa-whoa, what a feelin'! Phone Tap.
Greg: (after he and the Gumshoes constantly try to pronounce "Mt. Aconcagua" properly) How we doin' on that, Word Queen? I'll tell you what, I don't know how to say it exactly. But it is... Is it okay? Say it 1 time for us. Here's the Word Queen, Pinch.
Pinch: Mount Aconcagua.
Greg: ...Is the right answer!
(as the Chief, Greg, and the Gumshoes travel to New Jersey)
Greg: Calm yourself, Chief. This raft is unsinkable and I'm steerin'.
Chief: It's not the raft I'm worried about, Greg!
René: Lucy the Elephant.
Greg: Uh, yes, this is a 7 story elephant-- Or it's a building in the-- I'm havin' trouble on it. It's like a building. It's shaped like an elephant. Used to be hotel. Is that-- That's enough? Go, buddy. (the trilon has trouble turning around completely and Rockapella make elephant trumpets as Greg comes up to check it out) Wait a s-- It's still in there! There goes Lucy! It's not gonna turn.
Rockapella: Low budget!
Greg: Okay. We turn 'em back around. Turn 'em back around. Just a reminder, folks. It's Viewers Like You that keep us on the air every week.
Rockapella: (each time the fugu is revealed)
Swiped sushi!
Burgled blowfish!
Fugu-bubu!
Pilfered poisoned puffer!
Kneemoi: 92 planets, 92 jail cells. My frequent prisoner miles are really adding up. I'll give Carmen a free trip to Roddenberry. Go find her in Africa.

Atomic Glomb [4.13]

[edit]

[Robocrook steals the Atomium from Brussels, Belgium.]

Chief: This is Robocrook.
Rockapella: (singing) Robocrook
Chief: A toaster oven gone bad who serves up hot hauls to Carmen Sandiego. His last known whereabouts: Brussels, Belgium. In 1958, Brussels hosted the World's Fair, and towering the exhibit from around the world was Brussels' own Atomium. The Atomium is a model of the molecules of an iron crystal, each of the nine atoms that make up the model are about 60 feet in diameter, and once contained the exhibits on nuclear energy. Inside the tubes, that connect the atoms are elevators that allowed visitors to travel to the different exhibits. All in all, the Atomium is 335 feet tall and remains a very unusual site in this capital city. But today, those molecules got mauled. Robocrook breezed into Brussels on his crimecraft, then advanced his Atomium attack. He popped the top, dropped himself in, and rocketed away. Then, Robo rocked into warp drive to points unknown. Gumshoes, only you can defuse today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...the ATOMIC GLOMB!

Crook Snatches Natchez [4.15]

[edit]

[Contessa steals 19th-century mansions from Natchez, Mississippi.]

Chief: This is the Contessa.
Rockapella: (singing) Contessa
Chief: Carmen Sandiego's high-class, high-crime heist committer. Her last known whereabouts: Natchez, Mississippi. While many of the South Grand homes were destroyed during the Civil War, dozens of mansions around Natchez survived. So in 1932, the Natchez Garden Club hosted the first spring pilgrimage to these homes, twice each year. Pre-Civil War estates are open to the public. Women in 19th-century dress greet tourists who come from an up close look at an era gone by, an era of luxury and slavery. But today, those mansions got mooched when the Contessa decided to shoot the breeze. Gumshoes, that swell-smelling felon is contempt on selling the dwellings. You've got to stop her and solve today's crime...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...CROOK SNATCHES NATCHEZ!
Rockapella: (singing) The warrant!
(the warrant panel falls off, and Greg runs over to put it back in place)
Greg: (laughing) Let me get that.
Rockapella: (singing) Low budget!
Greg: That's OK. Just remember, folks: it's member dollars of yours that keep us on the air every day.

Wanted for Armed Cobbery [4.16]

[edit]

[Vic the Slick steals the Corn Palace from Mitchell, South Dakota]

Chief: This is Vic the Slick.
Rockapella: (singing) Vic the Slick
Chief: That plaid clad bad cad from Carmen's crew of cretins. His last known whereabouts: Mitchell, South Dakota. In 1892, Mitchell town leaders were trying to attract farmers to settle there. So to promote Mitchell, they built a corn palace. The palace was home to Mitchell's Fall Harvest Festival, where the town showed off locally grown crops. Artisans covered the palace's wall with colorful designs, made mostly with local corn, other grains and grasses. The Corn Palace was a big hit then and still is today. Each year the outer walls are redecorated with 100,000 ears of corn, give or take a kernel. But today, the good folks of Mitchell are feeling mighty miffed. Vic the Slick twitched into town and purloined the palace. He's using a crane to convert the copped cobs into a popcorn panorama. Stop him, gumshoes, before he gets lost in the maize of today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...WANTED FOR ARMED COBBERY!

Trunk & Disorderly [4.17]

[edit]

[Eartha Brute steals an African Bush Elephant from the Smithsonian Institute in Washington D.C.]

Chief: This is Eartha Brute.
Rockapella: (singing) Eartha Brute, huh
Chief: A mega-muscled mutant who makes off with merchandise for Carmen Sandiego. Her last known whereabouts: the Smithsonian Institution in Washington D.C. The Smithsonian's National Museum of Natural History has collected millions of objects, and however you measure them, the famed African Bush Elephant is humungous and is the largest known land animal since the dinosaurs. He stood 13 feet two inches high at the shoulder, and weighed about 24,000 pounds. To prepare the elephant for exhibit, his hide was stuffed with tons of clay. He was first displayed over 30 years ago and has been thrilling visitors ever since. Until today that is when Eartha Brute started looking for love in all the wrong places. She dropped by to pay the pachyderm a visit, and was swept away by his repartee. They appeared together in all of the columns, and then Eartha elevated the elephant and eloped to parts unknown. Gumshoes, it's up to you to solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...TRUNK & DISORDERLY!

Mining Crime Station [4.18]

[edit]

[Patty Larceny steals the White Pass and Yukon Route from the Yukon Territory, Canada.]

Chief: This is Patty Larceny.
Rockapella: (singing) P-P-P-Patty
Chief: A thief with misguided manners, she'll send out a thank you note after she robbed you. Her last known whereabouts: Yukon Territory, Canada. When a gold rush hit the Yukon in the late 1890s, miners faced a tough challenge. The average miner made 15 trips across 30 odd miles of rugged trails just to lug in his gear, but that was before the White Pass and Yukon Route Railroad connected Skagway, Alaska with Whitehorse, Yukon Territory. Nearly a century later, trains chug along the same scenic route, now carrying summer tourists instead of prospectors. At least they chugged until today when Patty Larceny engineered a scheme to derail the railroad. She's conspired to commit the cruelest con in the Yukon. The preppy perpetrator absconded with the engine and took up the tracks. She's expecting to prosper at prospecting, gumshoes, but you must teach her that a life of crime can only lead to fool's gold. Today's case.
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: MINING CRIME STATION!

Who Heisted the Humps? [4.19]

[edit]

[Top Grunge steals the camels from North Africa.]

Chief: This is Top Grunge.
Rockapella: (singing) Top Grunge
Chief: That biker with a brutal B.O. who bags booty for Carmen Sandiego. His last known whereabouts: North Africa. About 2,000 years ago, dromedary camels began trekking the North African deserts. The camel were brought there by traders who used them as pack animals. You see, camels travel so well in hot, dry sandy conditions they were nicknamed "Ships of the Desert." Their wide-padded feet move easily over sand, and camels can go without weeks without water. But they don't store water in their humps, as many people believed. Camels store fat in their humps which they use for energy. But today, those humps got jumped. Top Grunge dirtied the dunes of North Africa to fill some new friends. Why camels? Well, they're animals that spit and smell, so the attraction was natural. But now, those camels are holding their noses waiting for you to save them. Gumshoes, get a grip on Grunge, then close the book on today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...WHO HEISTED THE HUMPS?

A Toon for the Misbegotten [4.20]

[edit]

[Wonder Rat steals Sullivan Bluth Studios from Dublin, Ireland.]

Chief: This is Wonder Rat.
Rockapella: (singing) Wonder Rat
Chief: His cape is lame-o. His ears are fake. His crime career's a big mistake. His last known whereabouts: Dublin, Ireland. What do the movies Rock-a-Doodle, An American Tail, and Thumbelina have in common, besides the fact you ragged on your little sister when she asked to see them, hmm? All three were produced by one of Europe's largest animation studios, Don Bluth Ireland. Don Bluth learned the animation business when he worked at Walt Disney Studios in California, and in 1985, he moved to Dublin and started his own animation studio. Now he has over 200 employees who create animated full length films. But today, one cretinous cartoon creation popped off the page. Wonder Rat, that animation on probation, skipped out just as he was sketched in. That repulsive rodent scampered through the studio, wiping out every artist supply and artist at Don Bluth. He even used his magnetic swiss swiper, all to get a starring role in his own feature film. Gumshoes, wrangle that rat and close the book on today's adventure...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief ...A TOON FOR THE MISBEGOTTEN!

Evil to the Core [4.21]

[edit]

[Kneemoi steals the core from the center of the Earth.]

Chief: This is Kneemoi.
Rockapella: (singing) Kneemoi
Chief: That problem glob who robs for Carmen Sandiego. Her last known whereabouts: the center of the Earth. Our planet isn't just a big ball of dirt and water. At Earth's surface is a thin layer of rock called the crust, and under that, another thicker layer of rock, some solid and some molten liquid, called the mantle. Below that, about 1,800 miles beneath Earth's surface is the core. Its outer part is liquid but the inner core is a solid hot ball of iron. How hot is it? Oh, about 12,000 degrees fahrenheit at its center. But it's cooling fast, gumshoes, because today, nefarious Kneemoi entered Earth's orbit. She carved and quartered the globe like a Tootsie Pop planet, then slithered in, and slurped up Earth's soft and sweet chewy center. Oh, gumshoes, restore the core and close the book on today's caper...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...EVIL TO THE CORE!

E Pluribus Steal 'Em [4.22]

[edit]

[Double Trouble steal the bald eagles from the Chilkat River in Alaska.]

Chief: This is Double Trouble.
Rockapella: (singing) Double Trouble (Trouble)
Chief: Two primate cellmates who copped cool contraband for Carmen Sandiego. Their last known whereabouts: the Chilkat River, Alaska. The bald eagle, a strong, proud symbol of our nation and just maybe, a hair club client. Between October and January each year, more than 3,000 bald eagles flock to a short stretch of Alaska's Chilkat River. It's the largest known gathering of bald eagles on Earth. Why do they come? Well, most Alaskan rivers freeze in winter, but a flow of warm water keeps the one section of the Chilkat open. That allows the majestic eagles to fly in and feast on the late autumn run of salmon. But the feathers really flew in Alaska today when those birdbrains Double Trouble flapped in. After scanning the skies for birds to burgle, they launched a plan to just wing it. Soaring over the Chilkat, those hang gliding hoodlums enthralled the bald eagles, then hauled them away. Now they plan to party hardy on the 4th of July unless you stop them. Gumshoes, close the book on today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...E PLURIBUS STEAL 'EM!

Folla That Koala [4.23]

[edit]

[Robocrook steals the koalas from Australia.]'

Chief: This is Robocrook.
Rockapella: (singing) Robocrook
Chief: A rebel of trouble who clinks and clanks for Carmen Sandiego. His last known whereabouts: Australia. You can call koalas cute and cuddly. Just don't call them bears. The lovable koala is a kind of marsupial, a mammal that carries its babies in a pouch, and like many marsupials, koalas are found wild only in Australia, where they've become a national symbol. But times are tough for koalas these days. Home and road building have destroyed most of their habitat, which koalas need for their special diet of eucalyptus leaves. This and other problems now threaten the koalas survival. But things got even worse today when Robocrook popped into Australia and stirred up some strife. Never want to give anybody a fair shake, the recidivist robot have branched out into collapsing koalas. He poached 'em, he pouched 'em, and then he pounced away. Gumshoes, muzzle that mechanical marsupial and crack today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...FOLLA THAT KOALA!

Nice Geysers Finish Last [4.24]

[edit]

[Sarah Nade steals the Hot Springs from New Zealand.]

Chief: This is Sarah Nade.
Rockapella: (singing) Sarah Nade
Chief: Carmen's criminal crooner with a voice so bad, it's a weapon. Her last known whereabouts: New Zealand. Rotorua, New Zealand sits right on top of an active volcanic zone. Now that means underground volcanoes sputter up steam through cracks in the Earth's surface, sending geysers into the air and creating pools of mineral water and boiling mud. Tourists enjoy relaxing soaks in the waters while locals use a natural steam to heat their homes and swimming pools, and even steam their food. At least they did until today, but now Rotorua residents are really steamed. Sarah Nade trucked into town, then rolled on down to the springs. She wanted cruel new effects for her concert tour, and a steaming spring seemed just the thing. Sarah grabbed the geysers for her rocking road show, then hightailed it onto the highway. Gumshoes, don't let Sarah prove today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...NICE GEYSERS FINISH LAST!

Cheetahs Never Win [4.25]

[edit]

[The Contessa steals the cheetahs from Namibia.]

Chief: This is Contessa.
Rockapella: (singing) Contessa
Chief: A highfalutin felon who finagles finery for Carmen Sandiego. Her last known whereabouts: Namibia. Etosha Game Park in Namibia is home to many kinds of animals, but the fastest in fur are the cheetahs. These big cats run up to 70 miles an hour, making them the speediest land mammals on Earth. That speed, plus their keen eyesight and camouflage coat, make cheetahs excellent hunters. But for decades, humans have hunted cheetahs for their beautiful coats, and farmers now use much of the land where cheetahs once roamed. That's why cheetahs are an endangered species. Namibia's one of the few places where they still survive. At least they did until today when the Contessa focused her fancies on feline finery. Conjuring up a case of catnip, she smelt up the pelt, and made all the cheetahs cheery. Then she went for a jaunt in her Jeep, and the enraptured cat encountered capture. Contessa crated the creatures and codded them to her cabana. You've got to track them down, gumshoes, and solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...CHEETAHS NEVER WIN!

The Stoler Eclipse [4.26]

[edit]

[Wonder Rat steals the Sun]

Chief: This is Wonder Rat.
Rockapella: (singing) Wonder Rat
Chief: Voted most likely to be a rodent by his high school class, he's a faux fur felon for Carmen Sandiego. His last known whereabouts: the Sun. Now if you need a map to find this place, you're in trouble. Our Sun is really a medium-sized star, a huge ball of blazing hot gases where temperatures range from about 10,000 degrees on the surface to over 25 million degrees at the center. But don't believe me? Well, go measure for yourself. As a star, the Sun is nothing special, but without its light and warmth, life on Earth as we know it would cease to exist. And that cute little Coppertone girl would be out of a job. Luckily, the Sun's been around for more than 4 1/2 billion years. But it was a real sundowner at high noon today when Wonder Rat jacked up his custom-built Eclipse-O-Matic, then hijacked Ol' Sol from the sky. Now that rat's catching rays in his own private beach, but you got to catch him, gumshoes. Light up our lives again by stopping...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...THE STOLER ECLIPSE!

Craven Raven Knavery [4.27]

[edit]

[Vic the Slick steals the ravens from the Tower of London in England.]

Chief: This is Vic the Slick.
Rockapella: (singing) Vic the Slick
Chief: He's wanted for robbery and assault with a deadly fabric. His last known whereabouts: London, England. Ravens, they're big, they're black, they're related to crows, and they're on the payroll at the Tower of London. No one's sure when ravens started living at the tower, but legend says the British Empire will collapse if the birds ever leave. So eight ravens are kept as full-time residents. Their wings are clipped so they can't fly away and the birds are cared for by the Royal Ravenmaster. He gets the ravens official food allowance about 15p a week, about 22¢ in U.S. currency. Or he did until today when Vic the Slick slithered in, tiptoeing through the tower ground. He raced to where the ravens roost, then baited the birds with prime slime steak. Vic used T-bones, of course, and that T can only stand for thief. Well, before you could say nevermore, those ravenous ravens have flown the coop with Vic. Now, gumshoes, it's up to you to stop this terrible...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...CRAVEN RAVEN KNAVERY!
Carmen: The heat's on, Vic. Whisk those ravens to a peninsula on the Red Sea.
Vic: I gotta leave now? But I'm getting my mustache sharpened tomorrow.
Carmen: No time for that. Now, listen. There's a 1,400-year-old monastery on this peninsula, and its library used to have one of the world's oldest bibles.
Vic: Used to? What, somebody put it back on the wrong shelf?
Carmen: In the mid-1800s, someone borrowed the Bible and never returned it.
Vic: Wow. Let's see...[mutters to himself while doing some calculations] ...10¢ a day, 52,500 a day [amazed] Ooh, no wonder it wasn't returned! The overdue fine's a fortune!

The Tortoise and the Snare [4.30]

[edit]

[Top Grunge steals the Galápagos tortoises from the Galápagos Islands]

Chief: This is Top Grunge.
Rockapella: (singing) Top Grunge
Chief: That psycho on a cycle who swindles swag for Carmen Sandiego. His last known whereabouts: the Galápagos Islands. Ecuador's Galápagos Islands are named for the famous giant tortoises that live there. Galápagos also means saddle in Spanish, roughly describing the size and shape of the tortoises' shells. Charles Darwin first studied these creatures in the 1830s, and back then, there were a couple hundred thousand of the big guys who can weigh up to 600 pounds. But now, partly due to loss of their habitat, only about 15,000 remain. The Charles Darwin Research Center breeds Galápagos tortoises and protects them from extinction. Or it did until today when the Galápagos got grunged. Carmen's bad biker rolled through the islands and lifted every last lumbering tortoise. He thinks there'll be the new rage in biking head gear: shellmets. Gumshoes, you've got to end today's felonious fable...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief ...THE TORTOISE AND THE SNARE!

Snug As a Thug in a Rug [4.31]

[edit]

[Sarah Nade steals the rugs from Morocco.]

Chief: This is Sarah Nade.
Rockapella: (singing) Sarah Nade
Chief: That boku tattoo teen who cribs for Carmen Sandiego. Her last known whereabouts: Morocco. It begins with a young Moroccan girl watching her mother weave. Overtime, she too will learn the skills and creative spirit needed to craft a Moroccan rug. Carpets unlike others aren't prized for their technical perfection or rigid patterns. That's because Moroccan rug makers are more concerned with self-expression in what they create. The unusual designs and bright colors often found in Moroccan carpets reflect the artistic sense of the individual weaver. But the rugs got pulled out from under those weavers today. Sarah Nade floated in on her own tragic carpet, then staged an airborne rock show. Her transcendental tunes sent carpets flying and charmed them right out of Morocco. Gumshoes, you've got to unravel today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...SNUG AS A THUG IN A RUG!

O Stole Mio [4.32]

[edit]

[Double Trouble steal the gondolas from Venice, Italy.]

Chief: This is Double Trouble.
Rockapella (singing) Double Trouble (Trouble)
Chief: Those no-good ne'er-do-wells who nab nice stuff for Carmen Sandiego. Their last known whereabouts: Venice, Italy. Built on more than 100 small islands, Venice is famous for its canals that function as streets. These days, most Venetians travel by motorboat, but for 900 years, gondolas were the way to go. Long, narrow canal boats propelled by a pilot in back using one oar. More than 10,000 gondolas once cruised through Venice, but just a few hundred remain, kept mostly for tourists. But today, the gondola count dropped to zero when those Venetian cretins Double Trouble dropped into town. They cruised the canals in their crime trap, roped up the boats, and left oarsmen all struck along the way. Now Venice has this sinking feeling that its gondolas are going, going, gone. Gumshoes, capture those canal conniving kin, then close the book on today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...O STOLE MIO!

A Disaster Aria [4.33]

[edit]

[Contessa steals the Manaus Opera House.]

Chief: This is Contessa.
Rockapella: (singing) Contessa
Chief: An uppity upper-crust up to no gooder who uproots loot for Carmen Sandiego. Her last known whereabouts: Manaus, Brazil. The mysterious part of the Amazon rainforest, home to strange plants, unusual animals, and a turn of the century opera house. Built when Manaus was a rich center of the booming rubber trade, the Teatro Amazonas once attracted opera lovers from around the world. But when the boom times left Manaus, so did opera. The theater was almost silent from 1907 until 1990. That's when an ambitious renovation ended which restored Teatro Amazonas to its past glory. But today, the fat lady stopped singing again. The Contessa, that swanky silent of sneak, swept in, set her sights, and then swooped down. A smoky cloud provided a shroud while she tied up the Teatro. Now she's hidden it in a secret location where she listens to her very own opera, "The Contessa Cantata." Gumshoes, I'm declaring today case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...A DISASTER ARIA!
Carmen: Contessa, go to a mountainous country on the Adriatic Sea. Until recently, brutal dictators kept it one of the most isolated nations on earth.
Contessa: Carmen, darling I can get isolation in prison! Don't you have a more inspired chore?
Carmen: You want inspiration? Then, learn about Besa. When people in this country give their word, their Besa, they do almost anything not to break it.
Contessa: Oh, honesty is so boring. Surely there is something for me to do.
Carmen: Well, the country does have some of the world's largest Chromite deposits. You can kill time checking out your reflection.
Chief: (at the end of the 1st round) And our ACME Voice Identification Badge and Leave A Message Wallet. (opens it up, revealing an image of the Contessa) It's our secret weapon in a fight against Carmen and her gang, right? (presses a button)
Chief: (on recorder) Right. Well, sorta.
Chief: Sorta-- Sorta?! Oh, I'm not paying you to say sorta! Greg!
Greg: (as he, the Chief, and the gumshoes prepare for departure to Honshu Island, Japan) Work. Okay, guys, time for us to go off--
Chief: Greg, would you please take that jacket to the cleaners?! That ketchup stain's been on there since last season.
Greg: She does have a point. You guys ready to go? We're goin' to Sado. Come on. Grab the hat. Out the door. Somebody grab me! I got the Chief! We're goin' to Sado.
Greg: (while traveling) Well, Chief, I did it. I rounded up a posse.
Chief: Next time, Greg, uh, let's try it with live horses.
Contessa: Prison life is so uncivilized! 600 cells and not a room service menu in sight! Tell Carmen this is more than I can bear. She went to North America.

Steel Felon Steals Steel Phantom [4.34]

[edit]

[Robocrook steals the Steel Phantom from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania]

Chief: This is Robocrook.
Rockapella: (singing) Robocrook
Chief: He's synthetic. He's magnetic. But most of all, he's pathetic. His last known whereabouts: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Greater Pittsburgh's Kennywood Amusement Park has been called the roller coaster capital of the world. If you want a fast reason why, check out the Steel Phantom. In 1991, the Steel Phantom opened at the world's biggest and fastest roller coaster. It hits speed at 80 miles an hour and plunges over 200 feet off a cliff, guaranteed to make you scream your lungs out. Using computers and the latest poster technology, the Steel Phantom includes a vertical loop, a boomerang configuration, and a partial corkscrew, guaranteed to make me lose my lunch. But if you really wanna get queasy, check out what happened today. Robocreep coasted into Kennywood, then rocked the rails, and zapped the tracks from under the Phantom. After finishing the filch with his magnetic amusement moocher, that tinhead reopened the ride at his Robocoaster theme park. Gumshoes, find that phantom and solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...STEEL FELON STEALS STEEL PHANTOM!
Greg: (after the office segment) You know, I gotta tell you, it's kinda embarassing having two grown people actin' like that about a silly little dog movie. (laughs) ("Frou-Frou" starts barking) (runs back to the office) FROU-FROU!!! FROU-FROU!!!
Carmen: Get that coaster rolling to the capital of Morocco. Look for Couscous and Harira.
Robo: Those words are not in my database.
Carmen: They're Arabic words from Morocco's spicy soups and stews. People there also eat Pigeon Pie and salads with liver and lamb brains.
Robo: Those foods are not in my database.
Carmen: Robo, not everyone thinks gear oil is fine dining. People have different tastes. Some Moroccans have different table manners, too. They think metal utensils taste bad and carry germs, so they eat with their fingers, instead.
Robo: Carmen, what will I do? My fingers are metal utensils.
Greg: (as he, the Chief, and the gumshoes prepare for departure to Kathmandu Valley, Nepal) Thank you, Buddy. Okay, guys, time for us to go to Kathmandu Valley--
Chief: Greg!
Greg: Yes?
Chief: Oh, Greg, watch out! You're wiping your jacket on my nose!
Greg: I'm sorry! Gee whiz. Okay, guys, ready to go? You got the hat. You got the door. I got the Chief. We are on our way to Kathmandu.
Chief: (while traveling) Greg, if we could ski on this, we can ski on anything.
Greg: Good thing, Chief. The hot lava fields are just ahead.
Robo: RoboCrook Unit-059 calling. According to my default program, when imprisoned for more than 11 seconds, I automatically rat on my owner. Look for Carmen in South America.

The Acropolis Topple Fuss [4.35]

[edit]

[Eartha Brute steals the Acropolis.]

Greg: They're back from their big world tour with Gumby. Give it up for 'em.
Rockapella: Rockapella! Whoo-hoo!
Chief: This is Eartha Brute.
Rockapella: (singing) Eartha Brute, huh
Chief: Her eyes are shifty, she can bench press 850. Her last known whereabouts: Athens, Greece. Many Ancient Greek towns had an acropolis, a fortified hill used for defense, but when you say the Acropolis, then the city can only be Athens. The Acropolis wasn't used for defense. It was covered with buildings and sculptures dedicated to gods and goddesses revered by the Ancient Greeks. But the Persians destroyed much of the Acropolis over 2,000 years ago while thieves and pollution have also taken their toll over the centuries. Still, 5,000,000 tourists a year flocked to see the beautiful ancient ruins of the Acropolis. But today, Athenians looking skyward yelled, "It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Eartha in a chariot?" No, it's not a myth, gumshoes. That goddess of greed zoomed in, zapped the Acropolis, then zipped it away. And the gods will be crazy if it's not put back. Gumshoes, only you can end...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...THE ACROPOLIS TOPPLE FUSS!
Chief: (in a depressed tone) Greg, would you come in here please?
Greg: Well, sure, Chief. I'll be right there. You know what, this is weird, but I've never seen her this upset. I'll be right back. Hold on. (enters the office where she is packing her things) Chief, what are you doing?
Chief: What does it look like I'm doing? I'm packing my bags.
Greg: But, Chief, listen. The Office Wiener-Roast isn't for a couple of months yet! What are you-- (helps the Chief pack her hat rack)
Chief: Well, I've been let go.
Greg: Let go of what, Chief?
Chief: My job. (sobs) I'm no longer the Chief. They've given me a promotion. It's a disaster.
Greg: Well, I'm not following you, Chief.
Chief: Well, it's really quite simple, Greg.
Greg: Yeah.
Chief: See, they made you the new Chief.
Greg: This is a disaster. There must be some mistake here. Tell you what, Chief. I'm gonna make a few calls. You go ahead and do the contest on your own. Okay?
Chief: All right. (does the contest rules while packing a big plastic pickle)
Greg: Okay, thanks a lot. And congratulations to all the winners. Okay. (hangs up the phone) It's done.
Chief: I can stay?!
Greg: That's right! You can stay. But you know, 'til they process all the paperwork, I'm still technically the Chief. So--
Chief: Greg?
Greg: Yeah?
Chief: Go away.
Greg: Okay. (exits the office)
Chief: Here you go. (she hangs up a hang-up turkey)
(Greg returns to the gumshoes, where Pinch, dressed in his attire, awaits by the monitor)
Pinch: Okay, gumshoes, it's time for one of my favorite parts of the show. It's time for the Thunder Round!
Greg: Pinch! Pinch! Pinch! Pinch! What's the deal?
Pinch: I'm the new host.
Greg: (laughs) We gotta talk.
Both: Phone Tap.
Greg: (as he, the chief, and the gumshoes prepare for departure to Geneva, Switzerland) Thank you, Chief. Okay, you guys ready to travel--
Chief: Greg, remind Mrs. Pumpkinclanger to take in our mail.
Greg: Okay, great idea, Chief. You know, by the way, (notices her as a still image on the screen smiling) you're lookin' kinda stiff today. (laughs) Okay, guys, you're ready to go to Switzerland? Mary, take my hat. Laqwanna, get the door. Out we go. We're goin' to Switzerland, folks.
Chief: (while traveling) Greg, I hope the gumshoes are strapped in tightly.
Greg: Yep, I crazy glued 'em to their seats for safety.
Rockapella: (each time the Acropolis is revealed)
Copped Acropolis!
Heisted Hilltop!
Temple-Ectomy!
Parthenon, begone!
Zeus on the loose!
The gods must be crazy!
Robbed Ruins!
Any day now!
Rockapella: (each time the shoeprints are revealed)
Yodel-ay-hee-hoo!
Medic!
Oh, yeah! But no!
(operatic tone) LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Greg: St. Bernard Tunnel. (The Warrant is revealed to Greg's Surprise) OH!!!
Rockapella: The Warrant!
Laqwanna: Glac--
Greg: Oh!
Laqwanna: Glacier Gard--
Greg: Wait a minute! Hold! Wait a second! The Loot! The Warrant! We're looking for the crook. I think you know where she is.
Laqwanna: Glacier Gardens.
Greg: (to the board; shouting) Is she still... at Glacier... GARDENS!? (Eartha is revealed)
Rockapella: (sing) Eartha Brute! HUH! You've won! (sings their fanfare as the confetti falls on Laqwanna)
Eartha: (groans) This prison gym is terrible! I can only bench press 1,000 pounds! Make Carmen bring me more weights. You'll find her in Africa.

The Hot Ice Heist [4.36]

[edit]

[Contessa steals the snow sculptures from Quebec City's Winter Festival.]

Chief: This is Contessa.
Rockapella: (singing) Contessa
Chief: Carmen Sanidego's bogus baroness of burglary. Her last known whereabouts: Quebec City, Canada. Long, harsh winters are common here, but citizens still enjoy outdoor fun, especially their annual Winter Carnival. Two weeks of frosty festivities including this top attraction: snow sculptures. Everyone builds snowy statues from local kids to international artists competing for big prizes. There's even a snow palace, a full-size castle built entirely from snow. Yep, it wouldn't be Winter Carnival without snow sculpture, and that's why Quebec's bumming big time because today, Contessa crept into Quebec City and connived her way into the carnival. She snagged all the statues and plowed them plumb off the plat, I mean, mat. Now, she's taking them to a secret hideaway where she uses them to keep her caviars cold. Gumshoes, find the stolen statues and crack today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief ...THE HOT ICE HEIST!

Alphabet Scoop [4.38]

[edit]

[Patty Larceny steals the Chinese written language from China.]

Chief: This is Patty Larceny.
Rockapella: (singing) P-P-P-Patty
Chief: A bubbly blonde with bright eyes on big bucks for Carmen Sandiego. Her last known whereabouts: China. The Chinese system of writing dates back more than 4,000 years. It doesn't use letters like we're used to seeing in English. Written Chinese consists of about 50,000 characters and each one stands for a word or part of a word. For example, this is the character for mouth, and this is the character for dog. Now you put them together and arf-arf, that's how you write bark. But they couldn't write anything in China today. Patty Larceny mused in a museum on this spot, that Chinese characters would look great in her room, so with a wave of the wand, she whipped to China where Patty picked off the pictographs, copped the calligraphy, and wronged the writing. She's stolen the written language of China. Gumshoes, teach that decadent decorator some decorum. Today's case.
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ALPHABET SCOOP!

15 Minutes of Infamy [4.39]

[edit]

[Sarah Nade steals Andy Warhol's Portraits of Marilyn Monroe from Pittsburgh and London.]

Chief: This is Sarah Nade.
Rockapella: (singing) Sarah Nade
Chief: A vile voice villain who vacuums vaults for Carmen Sandiego. Her last known whereabouts: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and London, England. Andy Warhol was one of pop art's greatest artists. His radical work filled with common images like Brillo boxes and Campbell's soup cans, and famous faces redefined what people called art, mostly Warhol had stopped painting with brushes. He produced his work using a process called silk screen printing. Warhol's prints of Marilyn Monroe in different colors and arranged in rows are known the world over. Several now hang in London's famed Tate Gallery and more Marilyns will be on view in the new Warhol Museum in his hometown in Pittsburgh. But last night, those Warhols walked. That Marilyn moocher Sarah Nade tethered into the cape and picked off the paintings. While alarm bells shrieked, she hoisted them skyward and then coptered away. The police and tape director twitched their arms in disbelief while tadpoles jumped off one of their heads. Gumshoes, don't let Sarah have her...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...15 MINUTES OF INFAMY!

Get Those Gargoyle-Grabbing Geeks [4.41]

[edit]

[Double Trouble steal Notre Dame Cathedral's gargoyle statues from Paris, France]

Chief: This is Double Trouble.
Rockapella: (singing) Double Trouble (Trouble)
Chief: The Tweedledee and Tweedledum of Carmen's twerps. Their last known whereabouts: Paris, France. About 800 years ago, workers started building Notre Dame Cathedral. It took almost a century to finish and still stands today. Inside, beautiful stained-glass paintings and carvings illustrate religious scenes, but on the outside walls of Notre Dame, you'll find gnarly little beasts called gargoyles. Sculptures made them gargoyles as ugly and frightening as possible. The idea was to scare away demons, so that the inside of the church would remain peaceful. Well, the scare tactic worked until today when those dorky double-dealing demons named Double Trouble pulled into Paris. They climbed the cathedral, then quickly changed from gargoyle greeters to gargoyle grabbers. Now those bad boys want to party hearty with their newfound frightful friends. Gumshoes, your mission is clear.
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: GET THOSE GARGOYLE-GRABBING GEEKS!

Thief Chisels Chief [4.44]

[edit]

[Wonder Rat steals Crazy House Monument from the Black Hills of South Dakota.]

Chief: This is Wonder Rat.
Rockapella: (singing) Wonder Rat
Chief: A case concede cerr who carts off contraband for Carmen Sandiego. His last known whereabouts: the Black Hills, South Dakota. When sculptor Korczak Ziolkowski died in 1982, he left behind a literal mountain of unfinished work. Namely, a mammoth monument called the Crazy Horse Memorial. Since 1947, Korczak had been transforming an entire mountain into the image of the Oglala Sioux chief Crazy Horse. The sculpture was creating the memorial to honor the heritage of Native Americans. Today, work continues on the unfinished Crazy Horse. Korczak's wife and children have vowed to fulfill his dreams. But today, that dream became a nightmare. Wonder Rat's monumental ego got the better of him. The repugnant rodent stole the statue and choppered it off. Soon, it will be his mug on the memorial pointing the path to mountainous mayhem. Gumshoes, get that rat off his high horse and solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...THIEF CHISELS CHIEF!

Constellation Consternation [4.47]

[edit]

[Kneemoi steals the Southern Cross (Crux) from the Southern Sky.]

Chief: This is Kneemoi.
Rockapella: (singing) Kneemoi
Chief: That interstellar stealer of stellar stuff for Carmen Sandiego. Her last known whereabouts: the Southern Sky. The view of space from Earth's Southern Hemisphere is quite different from the view in the north. For this reason, many of the star patterns called constellations are unique to the Southern Sky. The most visible and famous of all southernly constellation is called Crux, the Southern Cross. The pattern of four bright stars that form Crux has captures imaginations for centuries. In fact, this constellation is so well-known that five countries in the Southern Hemisphere now honor Crux on their flags. But there was dishonor in the skies tonight. That unheavenly body Kneemoi cribbed Crux and every southern constellation. After whirling herself in a burgling black hole, she snarked up the stars, then swapped the space-time continuum. Now the only view of Crux is from the southernly skies of Roddenberry. Gumshoes, you've got to nebulize Kneemoi and crack today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...CONSTELLATION CONSTERNATION!

To Bead or Not to Bead? [4.48]

[edit]

[Patty Larceny steals the Maasai Beads from East Africa.]

Chief: This is Patty Larceny.
Rockapella: (singing) P-P-P-Patty
Chief: The well-mannered crook who wrote The Book on Jailhouse Etiquette. Her last known whereabouts: East Africa. The Maasai are traditional cattle herding people of the East African plains, and for generations, it's been a tradition for the Maasai to wear spectacular beadwork. Glass beads were introduced to the Maasai by Arab Caravan traders. The beads were then crafted into all kinds of body ornaments. But Maasai beadwork is worn for more than appearance. Their beads are also symbolic, from beaded earrings that indicate marriage status to necklaces that identify a woman's ethnic group. But today, those beads went bye-bye. Patty Larceny eased into East Africa to plot her bead misdeed. She hot-wired a safari Jeep, then made a clean sweep of every necklace and beaded bauble. Gumshoes, you have got to lasso Miss Larceny and close the book on today's caper...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...TO BEAD OR NOT TO BEAD?

The Greedhouse Effect [4.49]

[edit]

[Grunge steals Butchart Gardens.]

Chief: This is Top Grunge.
Rockapella: (singing) Top Grunge
Chief: He likes to steal, likes to fight us, also known for his bronchitis. His last known whereabouts: Victoria, British Columbia. In 1905, a woman named Jennie Foster Butchart was bumming over a big, ugly empty quarry near her home. She was struck with a notion of building a sunken garden in it. Ah, but Jennie didn't stop there. The surrounding acres were imaginatively landscaped into Japanese and Italian gardens, a rose garden, and countless lawns and flowerbeds. Words spread of her ever growing creation, bringing visitors from all around and Butchart Gardens still attracts thousands of flower lovers daily. But today, a wilting new fragrance filled the floral fields. It was the putrid perfume of Top Grunge, and delicate flower that he is, Grunge dropped anchor, and dragged off every pebble. He hoped to give his boss a bouquet, but the flowers fainted first from his fumes. Gumshoes, you've got to crack today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...THE GREEDHOUSE EFFECT!
Greg: Now, for our next clue, we go to an average superhero with a above average costume. (a fanfare plays) Here... Is... (the set darkens and an "A" appears on the floor) ...ACME MAAAN!!!!
Rockapella: Look Out! Look Out! Ow! ACME Man! ACME Man! If he can do it, maybe anyone can!
(a man in a restraunt is having a drink and is about to add what appears to be salt to his fries, when ACME Man darts in)
ACME Man: Not so fast, my friend! The salt in that shaker is not what it appears to be. Allow me, ACME Man, to change it, while I give a clue to my friends at ACME. (cracks his knuckles, rolls his head, stretches, then the man hands him the shaker) Ha-ha-ha! (shoots lightning bolts from his fingertips into the shaker) Grunge is hiding in the Appalachian Mountains. You'll find him near the place where Kentucky, Tennessee, and Virgina all meet. (his lightning bolts malfunction and he accidentally shoots them in the man's shoulder) Sorry. (his bolts work again, and back to the salt shaker) It's were Daniel Boone placed his wilderness trail back in 1775. A trail which made it easier for settlers to go west! (his bolts stop, then he splatters some of the salt behind him, and hands the shaker back to the man) There you are, my friend. You may never know how close you came to putting sugar on your fries instead of salt. Are you not impressed? Of course you are! Am I not the greatest superhero of all time? Of course I am! For I am ACME Man! And I am going away! (he runs off smashing through glass)
Rockapella: ACME MAN!!!
Greg: (after showing an out-of-body experience of himself but younger) Huh? Huh? I'm working on that. Phone Tap.
Mrs. Pumpkinclanger: Ah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Greg: Just stay right here. Sounds like my next door neighbor, Mrs. Pumpkinclanger has her nickers in a knot again. Mrs. Pumpkinclanger, hey, what is botherin' you?!
Mrs. Pumpkinclanger: You're bothering me? Nothing. Notta as in nick-knot-near-noola. Zero. In fact, zero zero to be precise. You see, Top Grunge went to a west African country on the Gulf of Guinea. It's capital Accra is closer to zero degress latitude and zero degress longitude than any other capital city. Year ago, zero zero, and if you don't get after that awful Grunge person, it will be an enormous no-no.
Greg: So, you're okay?
Mrs. Pumpkinclanger: Well, yeah. (closes her curtains and her window drops)
Greg: Just thought I'd check. Little neighbor that I am.
Greg: (as he, the chief, and the gumshoes prepare for departure to Berlin, Germany) Okay, guys, it's time for us to go to Germany--
Chief: Greg!
Greg: Yeah, Chief?
Chief: Oh, Greg, be careful! You're knocking my head with your sleeve!
Greg: I'm sorry about that Chief. (shakes the screen) Okay, guys, grab the hat. Grab the door. I got the Chief. We're goin' to Germany. Here we go. Blastin' out-- We are blastin' outta here! Whoo! Whoo!
Greg: (while traveling) So, this button turns off the anti-gravity?
Chief: Yeah, and this button turns it back on.
Rockapella: (sings more sophisticated as Grunge is revealed both times in the 2nd round) Top Grunge
Greg: Hello? You like indiglass joke? Thank you. Well, thanks. We worked on it about 5 seconds actually. Yeah. What's that? She's right here. Okay. (hands Andrea the phone) It's for you.
Grunge: This jail cell is awful! No matter where I stand, I'm never more than 12 feet away from the soap. (sneezes) And it's all Carmen's fault! Go get her in Asia. (sneezes)

The Off-Course Norse Course [4.50]

[edit]

[Double Trouble steal the Viking Route to Newfoundland.]

Greg: Hey, they're just back from their sold out shows at the hole in the ozone layer...
Rockapella: Rockapella!
Greg: Ooh! Very nice. And as you know, the one of you who catches Carmen Sandiego today will get that trip to anywhere in North America, and as we say on the show, That is not bad!
Chief: This is Double Trouble.
Rockapella: (singing) Double Trouble (Trouble)
Chief: Those unsportsmanlike look-alikes who lift loot for Carmen Sandiego. Their last known whereabouts: the Northern Atlantic Ocean. For centuries, many people believed Columbus was the first European to land on what is now called America. Actually, a Norse name Leif Erikson and his Vikings landed there first 500 years before Columbus. Remains of houses at artifacts found at their settlement sites matched what was used in Iceland at that exact time. In fact, you can trace the Viking migration route on a map, from Norway to the Shetland and Faroe Islands, then onto Iceland and Greenland, and finally North America. But today, Double Trouble stepped back in time to commit a crime. They mooched the migration map. That left the Vikes vexed about where to go next, but those bad boys sail abraded on the high seas. Gumshoes, set 'em straight in today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...THE OFF-COURSE NORSE COURSE!
Greg: Hey, Chief! Chief W-- What a minute, what is this? (sees a bag on her desk) I'll tell you whatever this is, it smells quite good. (pulls food out of the bag and sets it on the floor) As a matter of fact, I think there's food in here, and I do not think the Chief would mind if I had myself a little taste (starts eating it with chopsticks) Oh, this is great.
Chief: (walks in with a box) Oh, there you are, Greg.
Greg: Hi, Chief.
Chief: Hi.
Greg: I hope you don't mind I was just gettin' a little taste.
Chief: Oh, no. Have as much as you want.
Greg: Thanks a lot. (the Chief sets down the box) You sure you're not hungry? I mean this is delicious stuff.
Chief: Oh, no. That food's not for me.
Greg: Really. Who's it for?
Chief: (pulls a dog out of the box) It's for my dog.
Greg: It's for your dog?
Chief: Uh-huh. It's gourmet dog food for my cute little puppy.
Greg: Really? I believe it's actually quite good. (laughs) Mmm. (gives a taste with his fingers, then starts barking)
Chief: I think this is a good time to show today's contest winners. (Winners are shown while Greg is whimpering) (Chief does the contest information) (Greg is barking while eating out of a bowl with "Greg's" written in front of it and the puppy tries to join in, but the Chief pulls it back) Greg, stop it!
Greg: What?
Chief: Oh, you're eating dog food, for cryin' out loud!
Greg: Chief, come on. Do you really think I would eat dog food for a gag? Come on. (laughs)
Chief: Well, then I guess you're right.
Greg: Yeah.
Chief: It's probably just refried beans. Right?
Greg: Yeah, whatever. (drops the napkin on the desk and exits the office)
Chief: I'm sure it's not real. I mean, he wouldn't eat dog food, would he? No, he woul-- (she is holding the puppy near the bowl and the puppy starts eating)
Greg: (whistling while carrying a big bone) What? Old habits die hard. Phone Tap.
Carmen: Boys, head for an Asian country east of South Korea. Writers there started a form of poetry called Haiku.
Double Trouble: Poetry? We love rhyming! That's why our name is Double Trouble, Charmin' Carmen.
Carmen: A traditional Haiku doesn't rhyme. It's a short verse using nature or the seasons as a theme. A Haiku is just 3 lines long and exactly 17 syllables.
Double Trouble: Whoa! You have to count?
Carmen: It's not that tough, boys. Here's a Haiku I just wrote.
Cash, green as spring grass.
Jewels, glistening like snow.
Theft, always in season.
Double Trouble: Carmen, that's the sweet sound of poetic injustice.
Greg: (as he, the Chief, and the gumshoes prepare for departure to Montevideo, Uruguay) Thank you, Chief. We're late! We're on our way to Uruguay! Let's go, guys!
Chief: (while traveling) Greg, are the gumshoes on-board?
Greg: (imitating a ship captain's voice) Yes, we're meeting for shuffleboard over main deck at 2:00.
Chief: Marvelous!
Greg: Cunapiru Dam. (Shoeprints are revealed)
Sean: No cussing!
Rockapella: (becomes off-guard as Double Trouble are first revealed) Double Trouble! Double Trouble! Double Trouble!
Greg: Yeah, this of course is (points to their image and sings) Double Trouble!
Rockapella: YIIIII!!!
Chief: (at the end of the 2nd round) Hey, don't let those criminals get you down. (shows an organizer) Watch this. (presses a button which causes static) Okay. That's the button that turns off the TV. Now, this is the one that lets you write secret messages. And this the one that zaps it through the air to another secret sender. What else does this baby do? It stores names and addresses. Keeps your busy schedule organized. Leaves your daily horoscope. And if I press this button, yep. (the ACME Travel Pack is shown upside-down) That's the one that shows the ACME Travel Pack. Upside-down. LEMKE!!
Double Trouble: That Carmen's a party pooper. We've been in jail for 17 seconds already, and she hasn't even visited yet! Look for her in South America.
Retrieved from "https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Where_in_the_World_Is_Carmen_Sandiego%3F_(season_4)&oldid=3555301"