Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego? (season 5)

Carmen's Final Location

Vic: These prison clothes offend my unique sense of fashion. Isn't my right to wear plaid in the Constitution? Carmen is in (Continent). Tell her to get me a lawyer.

Wonder Rat: Know why they call me Wonder Rat? 'Cause it's a wonder that I'd rat on my own boss. (giggles) Carmen scooted to (Continent). Go get her.

Patty: I just got back from the prison laundry, and they mixed colors and whites in the same wash! (cries) I can't stand it anymore! Go find Carmen in (Continent). Tell her to help me.

Robocrook: A virus has infected my system software. It causes me to divulge Carmen's location. You'll find her in (Continent). Please, don't say that I sent you.

Kneemoi: Prison sports are really fun. I get used as a frisbee, a dartboard, and a second base. Carmen should see me play, but she's in (Continent). Go find her.

Sarah: Aw, man! This prison life is bogus. The guards just confiscated my tattoos. Carmen's gotta spring me, but she's in (Continent). Go find her.

Contessa: This prison food is so dreadfully boring, I can't even get a jar of Grey Poupon. Maybe Carmen could help, but she's in (Continent). Go find her.

Double Trouble: We were partners in crime. We should be cellmates in jail, but the warden wants to split up this dream team. Carmen's laying low in (Continent). Tell her she's gotta help.

Grunge: (coughs) Prison life is so disgusting, I can't believe I have to live in a place this clean. (coughs) Carmen's hiding in (Continent). (snorts) Go tell her to spring me. (sneezes)

Eartha: I thought maybe I take some classes while I was in jail, but the warden says they don't have a nursery school. I need Carmen to help me, but she's in (Continent). Go get her.

Cats Nipped [5.1]

[Vic the Slick steals all the Florida panthers]

Chief: This is Vic the Slick.

Rockapella: (singing) Vic the Slick

Chief: A low-class sleaze, he has no taste. Basically, the guy's a waste. His last known whereabouts: Southern Florida. A certain mouse with a theme park is this state's most famous animal, but for sheer beauty, it's tough to top the Florida panther. This sleek cat once roamed freely across the Southeastern US, but poachers, builders, and bad drivers have forced this feline to the edge of extinction. Today, no more than 50 panthers are left, isolated in a few areas of Southern Florida. Luckily, there are efforts underway to save these coolest of cats from vanishing forever. Until today, that is...

Rockapella: (singing) Oh, no!

Chief: ...when Vic the Slick pulled an Everglade rave. He catnapped those precious panthers, then suited them up for his feline football franchise. Gumshoes, I'm counting on you to crack today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief: ...CATS NIPPED!

A Sign of Trouble [5.2]

[Wonder Rat steals the Hollywood sign from Los Angeles, California.]

Chief: This is Wonder Rat.

Rockapella: (singing) Wonder Rat

Chief: Thugging and thieving, that's his biz. The world's only crook who loves Cheez Whiz. His last known whereabouts: Los Angeles, California. In 1923, Hollywoodland was a posh new neighborhood in Los Angeles. As a sales gimmick, realtors had the word "Hollywoodland" built out of huge letters and placed atop nearby Mt. Lee. As Hollywood became the heart of the movie industry, the sign became a symbol of showbiz glamour. But the landmark letters fell into disrepair, and the word "land" was lost completely. In 1978, the Hollywood sign was finally rebuilt, and can still be admired from miles away. Or it could until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!

Chief: ...when Wonder Rat pulled a daring daylight heist. He hovered in on his cheddar chopper, grabble-hooked Hollywood, then hauled it away. That star-struck stooge thinks the sign will help his own cheesy career. Gumshoes, only you can solve today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo

Chief: ...A SIGN OF TROUBLE!

Jailhouse Rocked [5.3]

[Vic the Slick steals Port Arthur Prison from Tasmania]

Chief: This is Vic the Slick.

Rockapella: (singing) Vic the Slick

Chief: A lowdown crook, a sly deceiver dresses like a reject from Saturday Night Fever. His last known whereabouts: Tasmania. Many of Australia's early immigrants were convicts from England, sent down under to do their time for such heinous crimes as hanky theft. Port Arthur Prison on Tasmania's Southeastern coast housed more than 12,000 inmates during its heyday in the 1800s. Some convicts there wore irons and were frequently flogged until some genius figured out that whippings made them more violent. Now the ruins of Port Arthur Prison stand as a grim reminder of a less kinder, gentler era. Or they did until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Oh, no!

Chief: ...when Vic the Slick tornadoed into Tasmania like a devil rodent he is. No crook likes a prison, so Vic saw a way to renew the ruins. He cut through the red tape and converted them from a pokey to a paid entry park. Gumshoes, go bust that bungling burglar, then solve today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief: ...JAILHOUSE ROCKED!

Minimum Security Prism [5.4]

[Patty Larceny steals the Iguazu Falls rainbow from Argentina]

Chief: This is Patty Larceny.

Rockapella: (singing) P-P-P-Patty

Chief: Looks sweet, acts discreet, thinks that stealing's kind of neat. Her last known whereabouts: the border between Brazil and Argentina. With a span of over two miles, the mighty Iguazu are the world's widest waterfalls. When the churning waters of the Iguazu River cascade over cliffs and crash into the gorge below, the Earth shakes and the roar deafens. As water hits the rocks, a cloud of mist rises into the air and so, local Guarani Indians call this area, "the place where clouds are born." It's also the place where spectacular rainbows are constantly reborn as sunlight meets the mist. At least it was until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Oh, no!

Chief: ...when Patty Larceny wandered near the thundering waters and devised a devious deed for a rainbow ripoff. She positioned the mirror just right so it reflected the light into her rainbow robber. Now the world is in black and white and Patty's keeping the colored light for herself. Gumshoes, I'm counting on your brilliance to solve today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief: ...MINIMUM SECURITY PRISM!

What a Shell Lacking [5.5]

[Vic the Slick steals the Green Sea Turtles from the Cayman Islands.]

Chief: This is Vic the Slick.

Rockapella: (singing) Vic the Slick

Chief: Used car salesman, then a lounge singer. Now he's Carmen's criminal swinger. His last known whereabouts: Cayman Islands. The Caymans were once called "los tortugas," or the turtles and have long been known for their turtle population. The native Green Sea Turtles are endangered, but there are also big business on the Grand Cayman turtle farm. The farm raises green turtles to be sold as meat, so folks can buy from them instead of hunting turtles illegally. But the U.S. and other countries won't import the farm's turtle products because the turtle's endangered species status, and that debate continued until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!

Chief: ...when Vic cruised to the Caymans, plunger in hand, and snarked every last turtle from sea to land. No one's sure if he wants them for soup or a sideshow. Gumshoes, you've got to end Vic's shell game and close today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief: ...WHAT A SHELL LACKING!

Time-X'd [5.6]

[Robocrook steals the Astronomical Clock from Prague.]

Chief: This is Robocrook.

Rockapella: (singing) Robocrook

Chief: Screws in his head, bolts for brains. Follow his trail of rustoleum stains. His last known whereabouts: Prague, Czech Republic. Every hour on the hour for over 500 years, crowds have gathered before Prague's Old Town Hall to watch the Astronomical Clock put on its show. In addition to telling time, this amazing clock also tells the date and corresponding holiday, the day's length, the phases of the moon, the position of the Zodiac, even the time until the next solstice. Rebuilt and added on to over the centuries, this medieval marvel has withstood the many tests of time. But time ran out on the clock today...

Rockapella: (singing) Crime!

Chief: ... when Robocrook saw it was time to get a new watch. He rolled into Old Town, clamped his claws on the clock, then counted down to blastoff. Now he has no excuse for tardiness. Gumshoes, catch that clock-copping crockpot and crack today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief: ...TIME-X'D!

Learned Kneemoi [5.7]

[Kneemoi steals the Tai Chi Chuan from China.]

Chief: This is Kneemoi

Rockapella: (singing): Kneemoi

Chief: She's robbed 52 planets in 12 dimensions, but is so darn cute it's beyond comprehension. Her last known whereabouts: China. On any given morning in China, you'll see people in gardens, parks, and on rooftops performing a series of curious looking stretches. These exercises called Tai Chi Chuan are a workout for both the mind and body. Tai Chi movements with unusual names like storks, spreads, wings, and bend bow, and shoot tiger require a good deal of strength and great concentration. The Chinese consider Tai Chi a kind of medicine and believe it helps prevent or cure illness. At least they believed it until today...

Rockapella: (singing): Crime!

Chief: ...when Kneemoi made a surprise visit to China. She saw all that balance and discipline and decided she wanted some too. Using the Roddenberrian mind meld which kind of tickles, she burgled everyones brain and removed all knowledge of Tai Chi from their heads. Now, no one's got the moves but Kneemoi. Gumshoes, you've got to unravel the riddle of today's case...

Rockapella: (singing): Woo-woo-ooo-oo

The Chief: ...LEARNED KNEEMOI!

---

Carmen: I want you to do some time traveling, Kneemoi.

Kneemoi: Ooh, you mean like going back to the future?

Carmen: No, like going across time zones. North America is divided into 10 of them and each zone usually means a one hour difference in time. Hide in Alberta province where it's one hour earlier than in a central time zone.

Kneemoi: You earthlings are too hung up on time. When you're talking light-years, an hour doesn't make any difference.

Carmen: Well, no one cared much how time was measured until the railroads came along. Then time had to be standardized so trains could keep to a schedule.

Kneemoi: Now, that gives me a fun idea. Why don't I steal the time zone? (laughs)

---

Rockapella: (Each time the Tai Chi Chuan is revealed in the 2nd Round):

Meditation mishap!

Holistic heist!

Chi chi chi bang bang!

---

Kneemoi: Prison sports are really fun! I get used as a Frisbee, a dartboard, and a second base! Carmen should see me play. But she's in South America. Go find her.

A Shriek of Nature [5.8]

[Sarah Nade steals the Hawaii Volcanoes National Park from Big Island, Hawaii]

Chief: This is Sarah Nade.

Rockapella: (singing) Sarah Nade

Chief: She's going through a teenage phase and dyes her hair in many ways. Her last known whereabouts: Big Island, Hawaii. Where can you visit lava fields, desert, and tropical rainforests all in one day? No, it's not the virtual reality trade show, it's Hawaii's Volcanoes National Park. The park includes the active volcano Kilauea, often seen steaming and sputtering away. Hikers can walk the rim of Kilauea, trek through volcanic ash and pumice sand dunes, or visit the young rainforest on the wetter side of the mountain. There are many unusual sites to entertain the park's several million yearly visitors. Or there were until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!

Chief: ...when Sarah piloted her pirate vessel into Hawaiian waters. She hopped off the boat, whipped out her jackhammer, hacked the whole big park off the Big Island, and then hauled it away. She wants to use the volcanoes as heavy metal smoke machines. Gumshoes, pounce on that park poacher and solve today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief: ...A SHRIEK OF NATURE!

Wine Not [5.9]

[Contessa steals South Africa's vineyards]

Chief: This is Contessa.

Rockapella: (singing) Contessa

Chief: Her accents fake, it's phony royal. This pompous jerk makes my blood boil. Her last known whereabouts: South Africa. On February 2nd, 1659, Jan van Riebeeck wrote in his diary, "Today, wine was pressed for the first time from cape grapes." Thus began South Africa's long history of winemaking. France's King Louis XVI stocked his cellar with South African wine. Napoleon demanded it when in exile on St. Helena Island. And today, South Africa's vineyards, located mostly on the Cape of Good Hope, produced some 600 million bottles of wine each year. Or they did until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Oh!

Chief: ...when Contessa crashed the cape in search of grape. Driving a customized bottle of chateau de fim la noire, she picked every last vineyard in the country clean. She'll never learn that theft just isn't chic. Gumshoes, put the grab on that grapacious Contessa and solve today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief: ...WINE NOT!

Danube-bee-doo-bee-duped [5.10]

[Double Trouble steal the bridges from Budapest]

Chief: This is Double Trouble.

Rockapella: (singing) Double Trouble (Trouble)

Chief: A double whammy like flim and flammy, they're always on the lammy. Their last known whereabouts: Budapest, Hungary. Buda and Pest, the two halves of Hungary's capital, are separated by the Danube River, and until the Chain Bridge went up in 1849, it wasn't easy getting across. Citizens walked the frozen Danube in winter, and used a floating bridge in summer. But after that first bridge was built, seven more followed finally linking all parts of the city. All eight bridges were destroyed in World War II, but then rebuilt and have kept Budapest connected ever since. Or they did until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!

Chief: ...when Double Trouble buzzed Budapest in their stealth stealer. They swooped in low, grapple-grabber in tow, then the thieves stole all the links across the Danube. Now those loop-de-looping stooges want to open their own aerial stunt park. Gumshoes, bring in those bridge-boosting burglars and crack today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo

Chief: ...DANUBE-BEE-DOO-BEE-DUPED!

Stardust Buster [5.11]

[Robocrook steals the Milky Way Galaxy]

Chief: This is Robocrook.

Rockapella: (singing) Robocrook

Chief: Don't be fooled by his silvery paint. One thing's for sure, the Tin Man he ain't. His last known whereabouts: the Milky Way Galaxy. A galaxy is a bunch of stars, planets, gases, and outer space dust bunnies held together by our friend Mr. Gravity. The Milky Way Galaxy is the intergalactic address for our solar system and perhaps billions of others. Celestial bodies revolve around the Milky Way center, much the way our planets revolve around the sun. Now why is it called the Milky Way? Because the view of the galaxy you see from Earth looks like a milky haze spreading across the sky. Or it did until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!

Chief: ...when Robocrook showed his fairest face in outer space. That heister hopped on his hyper Hoover, switched on the suction, and glommed the whole galaxy, then he staged his own test of the Big Bang Theory. Gumshoes, you've got to round up Robo and solve today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief: ...STARDUST BUSTER!

I've Been Burpin' on the Railroad [5.12]

[Top Grunge steals the Mount Washington Cog Railway from New Hampshire.]

Chief: This is Top Grunge.

Rockapella: (singing) Top Grunge

Chief: Crossing over that traffic divider, he was an extra in Easy Rider. His last known whereabouts: Mount Washington, New Hampshire. Don't you just love the view from atop a tall mountain? Don't you really love when you don't have to hike to get there? Well, if you want to look out from atop Mount Washington, the famous Cog Railway is one way to go. Steam, created by burning coal, provides the power to turn a large gear called a cogwheel. Teeth on the gear hook into the track, moving the coach car up and down the mountain. For over a century, the Cog Railway has chugged folks 6,288 feet to Mount Washington Summit to enjoy the view. Or it did until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!

Chief: ...when New Hampshire's niceness was nasty by Top Grunge. He chased the train off the tracks, hopped into the coal car, naturally, and commandeered the Cog right off the rails. Gumshoes, get us back on track and solve today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief: ...I'VE BEEN BURPIN' ON THE RAILROAD!

The Lion Sting [5.13]

[Patty Larceny steals the Seven Sacred Lions of Delos, Greece.]

Chief: This is Patty Larceny.

Rockapella: (singing) P-P-P-Patty

Chief: Face of an angel, soul of a crook. Her favorite three words are swiped, stole, and took. Her last know whereabouts: the Greek Island of Delos. In Greek mythology, the sun god Apollo was born in a lake on Delos, and for centuries, the island was a sacred site for his worshippers. Now lions were Apollo's sacred animal, so a row of roaring marble felines was installed to protect the lake of his birth. As many as 16 lions might have been created originally, but only seven of them are left today. At least one sacred lion was swiped, and we don't know what happened to the others. But there was no mystery when those last seven vanished today.

Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!

Chief: That greed goddess Patty dallied into Delos, and with her pink pickproof pretty collars, she leashed up the lions, then thundered away. That criminal kid will do anything to get an A. Gumshoes, you've got to cage that conniving crook in today's caper...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief: ...THE LION STING!

Stormy Two's Day [5.14]

[Double Trouble steal Mardi Gras from New Orleans]

Chief: This is Double Trouble.

Rockapella: (singing) Double Trouble (Trouble)

Chief: Two heads, one mind, four treads, two of a kind. Their last known whereabouts: New Orleans, Louisiana. Since 1857 crowds have flocked to New Orleans for the annual Mardi Gras celebration. Clubs, or crews, spend all year making wild costumes, masks, and floats. Then on the 12th night after Christmas, the fun begins. Spectacular balls, parades, and dancing in the streets. It all peaks on Mardi Gras, which means Fat Tuesday in French. That's the last day before the religious season of Lent begins. The idea is for folks to get in lots of partying before they start fasting for Lent, and party they do. Or at least they did...

Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!

Chief: ...until today when Double Trouble snuck through the crowd and pinched the whole party. Floats, flags, and all. Those Mardi-grabbing bad boys want to ball the fun for themselves. Gumshoes, pick up those party poachers and crack today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief: ...STORMY TWO'S DAY!

Wrestle Rustler [5.15]

[Eartha Brute steals the sumo wrestling ring from Tokyo, Japan]

Chief: This is Eartha Brute.

Rockapella: (singing) Eartha Brute, huh

Chief: Pecs of steel, this gal can tussle and she's got a brain of muscle. Her last known whereabouts: Tokyo, Japan. Sumo wrestling may date back 2,000 years, and early matches were even held in Shinto shrines. The object in sumo is simple: knock your opponent out of the circle or down to the ground. What's not so simple is your opponent could weigh some 500 pounds. That immense weight helps wrestlers keep their balance in a match and it requires a special diet, mainly huge amounts of a high protein stew called Chanko Nabe. Yep, fans love watching their humongous heroes stomp, squat, crash, and collide until one of them is defeated. Or they did until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!

Chief: ...when Eartha Brute journeyed to Japan and set her sights on sumo. She waited till the crowds went home, crept back into the arena, then with a mighty heave-ho, she hoisted the sumo ring and hauled it away. Now she's planning a sumo-mania special on pay-per-view. Gumshoes, I'm counting on you to solve today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief: ...WRESTLE RUSTLER!

That Girl's Got Characters [5.16]

[Patty Larceny steals the Korean alphabet from South Korea]

Chief: This is Patty Larceny.

Rockapella: (singing) P-P-P-Patty

Chief: Blond hair, blue eyes, in a fresh scrub sheen, she's twice been voted prison prom queen. Her last known whereabouts: South Korea. Written languages usually developed slowly overtime, but Korea's alphabet called Hangul was announced on December 25th, 1443. Before then, Korea used a form of Chinese alphabet, understood mainly by the elite. But Korean King Sejong wanted an easier written language that everyone could learn. So his experts created Hangul. These days, Hangul and Chinese are often combined, but Koreans remain proud of their homegrown alphabet. Hangul is honored each year with its own national holiday. Or it was until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Oh, no!

Chief: ...when Patty Larceny sauntered into South Korea, took a liking to the letters, and decided to take them all. She's always had a strong attraction to languages, so Patty maneuvered in her magnet moocher until every last character was captured. She plans to use them in a new line of fashion accessories. Gumshoes, it's up to you to solve today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief: ...THAT GIRL'S GOT CHARACTERS!

I Know Why No Rhino [5.17]

[Top Grunge steals Zimbabwe's black rhinos.]

Chief: This is Top Grunge.

Rockapella: (singing) Top Grunge.

Chief: Acts crude, smells even cruder, his stuffy nose needs Roto-Rooter. His last known whereabouts: Zimbabwe. The massive black rhinoceros has roamed Africa for 60 million years. Rhinoceros means nose horn and the black rhino has two that it uses to protect itself. Those horns grow up to three feet long and that makes the black rhino a target for illegal hunters. The horns fetch a high price on the black market where they're often sold to make strange medicines and dagger handles. Hunted to near-extinction, there are fewer than 500 black rhinos left in Zimbabwe. Until today, that is...

Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!

Chief: ...when the count struck to naught, Top Grunge zipped into Zimbabwe looking for a new gang to ride with. He regaled the rhinos with tales of his travels so the rhinos decided to hit the road, then like a putrid pied piper, Grunge heisted every last horn. Gumshoes, you've got to round up that rhino rustler and solve today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief: ...I KNOW WHY NO RHINO!

---

Chief: Greg?

Greg: Yeah?

Chief: Would you come in here, please?

Greg: Yeah, Chief. I'll be right there. Lemme check with the Chief. I'll meet you guys out in the alley in just a moment. You guys come with me (enters the office) Chief, what's up?

Chief: There's something wrong with my darn desk! I can't get any work done! Watch this.

Greg: Okay.

(she picks up a pencil and drops it on the desk)

Voice: Oh.

Chief: See? I does that whenever I try to touch it. Look. (touches her desk)

Greg: Sure.

Voice: Oh. Oh.

Greg: Absolutely. Chief, let me tell you somethin'. (pulls out a stethoscope) It just so happens that I happen to be a board certified deskinarian specializing in desktop medicine.

Chief: You're a what?

Greg: I'm a deskinarian. And I'll tell you what. From what I've heard right now, your desk is in a lotta pain.

Chief: Why would my desk be in pain?

Greg: It could be you know one of many reasons, Chief, but I'll tell you, I'm not gonna waste anymore time. I'm gonna take a look if you don't mind. (places the stethoscope on the desk) Uh, cough please. (the Chief coughs) Not you. I'm talkin' to the--

(the voice coughs)

Chief: Oh! Oh, this is ridiculous. Oh, better do the contest or we'll be here forever. (does the contest rules)

Greg: Lift!

Chief: Lift?

(the desk arises)

Greg: Aha, Chief! (the desk has moving legs) I think I've found the problem. You wanna come down here and take a look? Uh-huh. Let me get that. Here, take a look at this. Right here. (shows a thistle) See that? It's a needle.

Chief: Looks like a thistle to me.

Greg: You're neddle a thistle the thing I have to do here is the same. (pulls out the thistle) All right, that should feel better, boy. I want you to go home and stay in bed for 3 days.

(the desk walks off)

Greg: What?

Chief: Why did you send it home?!

Greg: Chief, it just had major surgery. You can't expect it to go right back to work, and I'll tell you what else. I would get a nice get well card if I were you. Because everyone knows desks have feelings, too. (hands the Chief the thistle and exits the office leaving the Chief crawling while looking for a desk)

Scrolldies but Goodies [5.18]

[Patty Larceny steals the Deas Sea Scrolls from Jerusalem]

Chief: This is Patty Larceny.

Rockapella: (singing) P-P-P-Patty

Chief: Face like an angel, manners from heaven, but she's plotting crime 24/7. Her last known whereabouts: Jerusalem. It said that in 1947, a young shepherd wandered into a cave in Jordan near the Dead Sea and stumbled onto one of the greatest discoveries of the century. His fine led to hundreds of manuscripts written 2,000 years ago that became known as the Dead Sea Scrolls. The scrolls contain the earliest known version of the Old Testament and shed light on the time when Judaism and Christianity were taking shape. Most of the scrolls are now housed in Jerusalem where scholars continue to study their secrets. Or they were until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Crime!

Chief: ...when that perky perp Patty journeyed to Jerusalem then scammed the scroll and planned her scam. She spun a balloon cocoon that circled the scrolls' domed home and the ancient loot lifted up, up, and away. Carmen's clueless crooks don't understand what Patty took but they don't need a reason to party. Gumshoes, it's up to you to close the book on today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief: ...SCROLLDIES BUT GOODIES!

The Cuba Missing Crisis [5.19]

[Double Trouble steal Cuba from the West Indies]

Chief: This is Double Trouble.

Rockapella: (singing) Double Trouble (Trouble)

Chief: A couple of fellas with hair full of JELL-O who smell-a more swell-a than Rockapella. Their last known whereabouts: the West Indies. About 90 miles south of Miami, Florida lies the Caribbean Island of Cuba. The first Cubans were Indian peoples and the name comes from an Indian word, Cubanacan. Later, Europeans arrived bringing disease and slavery, and the native population largely vanished. Nowadays, most Cubans are of Spanish or African descent, and Cuban culture is an exciting mix of these two influences. Thousands of Cubans fled the country after Fidel Castro took power, but many dream of returning to Cuba when he's gone. At least they did until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Oh, no!

Chief: ...when beneath the high seas lurked those lowlifes Double Trouble in their super snarking submarine. They scoped the Cuban coast, liked what they saw, punched in the coordinates, and grabbed it with their claw. Well, both claws really. Now those bad beach boys have a prime place to party hearty. Gumshoes, there's no dancing around today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief: ...THE CUBA MISSING CRISIS!

---

Rockapella: (as Cuba is first revealed in the 2nd round) (off-key a bit) Havana Vanish!

Greg: (laughs) You guys wanna hit that one more time?

Rockapella: (on-key again) Havana Vanish!

---

Double Trouble: We were partners in crime. We should be cellmates in jail, but the warden wants to split up this dream team. Carmen's layin' low in North America. Tell 'er she's gotta help!

Take a Byte Out of Crime [5.20]

[Robocrook steals the Internet.]

Chief: This is Robocrook.

Rockapella (singing): Robocrook

Chief: Has no grace. He's a lummox built with two cast-iron stomachs. His last known whereabouts: cyberspace. Cyberspace is the place where people communicate over computer networks and the mother of all networks is called the Internet. The Internet links thousands of smaller networks and millions of computer users in dozen of countries. People go online for everything from doing research to sending electronic mail to just plain chatting. You can even tour the White House on the Internet, all from your home computer. The possibilities are literally endless. Or they were until today...

Rockapella (singing): Oh, no!

Chief: ...when Robocrook took a peek at an unsuspecting geek and got an idea for a heinous high-tech heist. He blasted into orbit, plugged into a satellite, then intercepted the entire Internet. The world's wireheads wigged when their monitors frazzed, and now every bit and byte are in that two-bit burglar's brain. Gumshoes, it's up to you to solve today's system glitch...

Rockapella (singing): Woo-woo-ooo-oo

Chief: ...TAKE A BYTE OUT OF CRIME!

---

Carmen: Robo, lay low on an island that borders the Coral Sea. Whatever you do, don't pet the birds.

Robo: How can I get in touch with my warm human side if you keep me away from coddling critters?

Carmen: You wouldn't want to get in touch with some pitohuis. It's the world's first known poisonous bird. Contact with it's feathers or skin causes a numbing sensation.

Robo: Like watching reruns of Star Trek?

Carmen: More like getting pins and needles. Scientists thought the pitohui's bright feathers were meant to attract mates, but now believe they maybe a warning against the poison.

Robo: Which reminds me, Carmen. It's time to change my anti-freeze.

---

Greg: Old Cowtown Museum. (Shoeprints are revealed)

Rockapella: (barking)

Greg: I don't get that.

Scott: We don't either.

---

Greg: Eisenhower Library. (Shoeprints are revealed)

Rockapella: We like Ike! But no!

---

Rockapella: (as Robo is first revealed) (imitates a buzzer sound) Robocrook! Robocrook! Robo--

(crowd gasps)

Greg: I'm sorry, that's-- (laughs) Surprised Rockapella on that one.

---

Greg: (a puppet appears with the phone) Oh, hey, look at that! A puppet! (the puppet nods its head, gives Greg the phone, and leaves) Thank you, Mr. Puppet. Hey! Hello? Yeah, she's right here. Hold on a second. We just got this phone from the puppet. (hands Lauren the phone) There ya go.

Lauren: Hello?

Robo: A virus has infected my system's software. It causes me to divulge Carmen's location. You'll find her in North America. Please! Don't say that I sent you.

A Frank Case of Theft [5.21]

[Contessa steals the Anne Frank House from Amsterdam, Netherlands.]

Greg: (tied with Scott as the rest of Rockapella are waving from the window behind them) Hey, listen, they're with me everyday.

Scott: (sings) SCOTT LEONARD!!!

Greg: (points to the rest of Rockapella) Rockapella. (laughs) Quick reminder to you guys. The one of you that catches Carmen Sandiego today is gonna get that trip to anywhere in North America...

Scott: (finishes) And that isn't bad!

Greg: Yeah!

---

Chief: This is Contessa.

Rockapella: (singing) Contessa

Chief: She may be swell smelling, but she's also a felon. Her last known whereabouts: Amsterdam, The Netherlands. The Anne Frank House looks like many other homes in Amsterdam, but during World War II, teenager Anne and seven other Jews hid there to escape Nazi persecution. They were finally discovered and Anne and most of the others were killed. But her diary survived and it is now published in 55 languages. Today, the Anne Frank House is a museum dedicated to teaching about the holocaust and was just one of millions killed by the Nazis, but her words made her famous and each year thousands come to visit her final home. Or they did until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Oh, no!

Chief: ...when Contessa ambled into Amsterdam and hatched her historic house-heisting hustle. She cruised back in a bogus blimp, then proceeded to put the crimp on the museum that Anne Frank once called home. Contessa's so proud of her dastardly deed that she invited the whole Carmen gang for a tour. Gumshoes, there's no question about the crime in today's case. It's...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo

Chief: ...A FRANK CASE OF THEFT!

---

Carmen: This is no time for shopping, Contessa. ACME's on to us. Hide out in Asmara. It's the capital of an African country on the Red Sea.

Contessa: Asmara? Oh, the name sounds almost Italian, but Italy's not on the Red Sea.

Carmen: Why, Contessa! Using your head for something besides big hats? Yes, Asmara's in a country that was occupied by Italy for a long time, and the Italian influence is still strong.

Contessa: Oh, I can taste the cappuccino already!

Carmen: And the pizza and the pasta. You'll also find elegant villas, palaces, and charming cafes. Italy left this country over 50 years ago, but there's still a small Italian community living in Asmara.

Contessa: Ah, Italian style. It never goes out of fashion.

---

(Rockapella parodies The Carpenters' "Top of the World")

(Jeff does a quick percussion solo)

Scott: Gumshoe clue is comin' over me.

And he wants you to look down under the sea.

Off the coast of Guam,

Where the water's sometimes warm.

There's a valley kind of thing 7 miles deep.

Explorers oughta reach its deep, dark floor.

You might ask yourself "What would they do that for?".

They might find some living things.

All your knowledge is my dream.

'Cause you know no one's been down that far before.

I'm on the...

All: Top of the Ocean, lookin'

Down on Contessa,

And her looting's unsuccessful. You will find.

Better rent a submarine

To bring back that thievin' queen.

And we'll put you on the Top of the World.

Scott: And we'll...

All: ...Put you on the Top of the World. (they notice a big fish) Dive. (they set off fast)

---

Greg: (upon materializing with the gumshoes in the Pacific Ocean) (exhales) Oh! Where am I? Oh, the Pacific Ocean. Let's go this way. Oh. (they walk to the Jailtime Challenge board)

---

Rockapella: (sings their fanfare; Adam goes to the chain before Greg approaches him and Stephanie)

Greg: Yeah! Yeah! He's goin'! Go, buddy! Go! (laughs) You know what to do. Yeah. (Adam pulls the chain; Rockapella does Contessa's in jail tune)

Greg: Really, Adam. Nice job. Run away from me. You know what you're doin'.

---

Contessa: This prison food is so dreadfully boring! I can't even get a jar of Grey Poupon! Maybe Carmen could help. But she's in Europe. Go find her.

Summa Cum Rowdy [5.22]

[Vic the Slick steals the University of Oxford, England.]

Chief: This is Vic the Slick.

Rockapella: (singing) Vic the Slick

Chief: Too much hair grease, too much cologne, he wears the worst clothes ever known. His last known whereabouts: Oxford, England. Oxford University is one of the world's most famous institutions of learning. Students first enrolled there in the 1100s, making it Great Britain's oldest university. There are 35 different colleges at Oxford, each with its own teachers, students, and facilities. Besides its academic programs, Oxford is renowned for its architecture which reflects the many centuries over which the colleges were built. Today, over 14,000 students scurry through the historic Oxford grounds. Or they did until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Oh!

Chief: ...when that delinquent dropout Vic decided he needed some education. To get it, he brazenly bulldozed every building and burgled every book. Now he plans to sell Oxford degrees as if they grew on trees. Gumshoes, you've got to flunk that flunky Vic and solve today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief: ...SUMMA CUM ROWDY!

A Volcanic Corruption [5.23]

[Top Grunge steals the Cappadocia cones from Göreme Valley, Turkey.]

Chief: This is Top Grunge.

Rockapella: (singing) Top Grunge

Chief: Born to pop wheelies, born to be wild, born to call flimballs, born to smell vile. His last known whereabouts: Göreme Valley, Turkey. Long ago, volcanoes cover the Göreme Valley with a thick layer of ash and a good dose of lava. Over time, wind and water shape the cones' inspires into the lava. People later settled in the odd landscape called Cappadocia, and carved homes and places of worship out of the rock. At its peak in the 10th century, some 40,000 people lived there, many of them religious hermits. In fact, farmers and herdsmen still live in some of the ancient stone dwellings. Or they did until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Crime!

Chief: ...when Top Grunge grunted into Turkey and sneezed up an evil plan. Using his chopper, and a little leverage, he lift-launched the whole lava landscape and hauled it away. Now he's got a new sport in mind: Cappadocia Motorcross. Gumshoes, grab Grunge and close the book on today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief: ...A VOLCANIC CORRUPTION!

Held for B-Ransom [5.24]

[Sarah Nade steals the city of Branson, Missouri]

Chief: This is Sarah Nade.

Rockapella: (singing) Sarah Nade

Chief: You just can't describe her, she's none of the above. A voice like broken glass and she worhips Courtney Love. Her last known whereabouts: Branson, Missouri. Branson was once a sleepy vacation spot nestled in the Ozarks. Back in the 60s, a country music theater opened to entertain tourists and several others followed. Then in the 1980s and 90s, a flood of stars opened show houses in Branson, making it the new hot spot for country music. Branson theaters now seat more folks than even New York's Broadway. Stars like Roy Clark and Barbara Mandrell entertain the 5 million tourists who arrive yearly to enjoy Branson's brand of wholesome family fun. Or they did until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Oh, no!

Chief: ...when Sarah Nade showed up for a jam session. Her musical tastes are a little different from the vocal, so she thieved every theater in thight, I mean, sight. But Sarah, music's no fun when it makes your ears bleed. Gumshoes, you got to bring back Branson and crack today's caper...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief: ...HELD FOR B-RANSOM!

Stop Your Blubbering! [5.25]

[Double Truble steal Hawaii's humpback whales.]

Chief: This is Double Trouble.

Rockapella: (singing) Double Trouble (Trouble)

Chief: They're not too bright but full of tricks. Their IQs total 36. Their last known whereabouts: Hawaii. Every winter, humpback whales migrate to Hawaii from their summer feeding grounds in the Northern Pacific. These 40-foot long 40-ton visitors go there to breed. Experts think the whales may prefer the shallow waters around certain Hawaiian Islands because the temperature suits their newborns. For a while, humpbacks were scared away from the shallows by jet skis and motorboats. A ban on those sports during the breeding season has assured the whales a quiet place to lull from May to December. Or it did until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Crime!

Chief: ...when the cold seas were troubled by a mean submarine. Double Trouble, commanding their twin fisti-crime craft, hauled into Hawaiian waters, then hauled out the humpbacks, every last one. The twins have vile visions of water parks dancing in their heinous heads. Gumshoes, put an end to this whale tale and solve today's case...

Rockapella (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief: ...STOP YOUR BLUBBERING!

Wave Bye-Bye [5.26]

[Sarah Nade steals Wave Rock from Hyden, Western Australia]

Chief: This is Sarah Nade.

Rockapella: (singing) Sarah Nade

Chief: If she's not doing crime, only one place she'll be: in the garbage playing her flying D. Her last known whereabouts: Hyden, Western Australia. All seashores are known for great surfing, but Western Australia's weaklands might be the best place to catch a wave. That's because this region of strange rock formations boasts an incredible site called Wave Rock. Billions of years old, this 50-foot high wave white granite formation was created by weathering and erosion. Chemical deposits carried by rain down Wave Rock caused its bold bands of color. Gumshoes, you have to see it to believe it. But it couldn't be seen or believed today...

Rockapella: (singing) Crime!

Chief ...when Sarah hot aired over Australia, then wigged when she saw Wave Rock. Jumping on the chance to steal it, Sarah powered up her chainsaw, carved through crag and crevices, then hooked it and hauled it away. Now she's got a skateboard stunt track that's the envy of Carmen's gang. Gumshoes, rock Sarah's world and solve today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief: ...WAVE BYE-BYE!

Shoo, Trees! [5.27]

[Kneemoi steals the bristlecone pine trees from California]

Chief: This is Kneemoi.

Rockapella: (singing) Kneemoi

Chief: Her face is cute but she's unsavory. Watch out for her knack with knavery. Her last known whereabouts: California. Pinus longaeva is Latin for long-lived pine, and it's a perfect name for the bristlecone pine trees in the White Mountains. Some have been alive more than 4,000 years and that makes bristlecones the oldest living things on Earth. Why, some of these trees were around before the Egyptian pyramids. Dense resistant wood is what helps them weather eons of ice, sand, and drought, and even when bristlecones do die, they can still remain standing for centuries. Or they did until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!

Chief: ...when noxious Kneemoi careened into California to knock on wood, then she branched out to breathe in the bristlecones, and before you can say another pine mess, every last bristle was gone. She plans to sell the trees on Roddenberry as a nasal decongestant. Gumshoes, you've got to get rough with that stuffed puff and solve today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief: ...SHOO, TREES!

Stonecutter's Haul [5.28]

[Robocrook steals the Shona Sculptures from Zimbabwe.]

Chief: This is Robocrook.

Rockapella: (singing) Robocrook

Chief: A Terminator wannabe with wires in his shorts and a short in his wiring. His last known whereabouts: Zimbabwe. Stone sculptures, made by Zimbabwe's Shona people, are a top African art form. It started in the 1960s when a village of sculptors created a new modern style with their carvings of colored stone. The sculptures, often smooth heads or figures blending into rough stone, were unlike much African art because they weren't religious. Self-expression was the most important thing in their creation. Today, Shona sculptures are still being crafted and are valued by art lovers around the world. At least they were until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Crime!

Chief: ...when Robocrook roared his robo-rover into Zimbabwe. He hooked and hoisted Shona sculptures one by one, then rocketed the rock art to points unknown. Gumshoes, you've got to chisel that chiseler down to size, then wrap up today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief: ...STONECUTTER'S HAUL!

White Out [5.29]

[The Contessa steals the White House from Washington D.C.]

Chief: This is Contessa

Rockapella: (singing) Contessa

Chief: She's chic, she's sleek, and she has an evil streak. Her last known whereabouts: Washington D.C. The White House has been home and office to every US president except George Washington. Built partly by slaves, it was first occupied around 1800, then rebuilt after British soldiers burned it in 1814. The White House hasn't always been an easy place to live. It was still unfinished when John Adams moved in, and for the first 30 years, it had no bathroom. But after two centuries of improvement, the house at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue is the proud symbol of the American presidency. Or it was until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!

Chief: ...when Contessa cruised into restricted airspace to do some house hunting. Finding her dream home, she released her steal cable, then whisked the White House away. She's always wanted to be the first lady of crime. Gumshoes, foreclose on that house hustler and crack today's caper...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief: ...WHITE OUT!

Maternal Instinks [5.30]

[Top Grunge steal the Rock Palace from Wadi Dhahr, Yemen.]

Chief: This is Top Grunge.

Rockapella: (singing) Top Grunge

Chief: Nasty coughs and flemmy wheezes, boogers fly when this guy sneezes. His last known whereabouts: Wadi Dhahr, Yemen. What does a royal ruler get when he wants a room with a view? Take a look at this cozy little getaway called the Rock Palace. Perched high atop an amazingly steep rock, the home was built for 18th century Yemeni leader Al-Mansur Ali. More recently, it was a summer palace for the Imam, but its days as a royal residence ended in 1962. The Rock Palace has since become a tourist attraction and skilled Yemeni craftsmen are now restoring the palace to its former glory. Or they were until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Crime!

Chief: ...when Top Grunge yondered into Yemen wanting a new mobile home for his dear old mom. He decided the Rock Palace was just her style, so he motor-chopped the troncation and hauled it home to Mommy. Boy, seeing them together makes a lot of things clear. Gumshoes, break up this touching reunion and crack today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief: ...MATERNAL INSTINKS!

El Ca-Steal-o [5.32]

{Vic the Slick steals the El Castillo pyramid from Chichen Itza, Mexico.]

Chief: This is Vic the Slick.

Rockapella: (singing) Vic the Slick

Chief: Looks like a dude from a 70s disco, polyester suit, hair groomed with Crisco. His last known whereabouts: Chichen Itza, Mexico. A thousand years ago when the Maya ruled Northern Yucatán, they built the towering Castillo pyramid. It honored Kuklucán, the feathered serpent god. On the first day of spring and fall each year, the sun's rays slithered down El Castillo's steps like a snake and meet the massive serpent's head carved below. We don't know if Maya builders intended this effect, but the snakes appearance has now become a major event, drawing thousands of people who gather to celebrate the coming of the new seasons. Or they did until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Oh, no!

Chief: ...when Vic the Slick slid into Mexico, sidesteps the serpent, then slathered El Castillo with high-grade honey, and called his trained bees to pick up and pilfered the pyramid. Now that sleazeball picked up a whole swarm of partners in crime. Gumshoes, you've got to stop that pyramid pincher and wrap up today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo

Chief: ...EL CA-STEAL-O!

Fall of the House of Ushers [5.33]

[Wonder Rat steals the Fox Theater from Atlanta, Georgia.]

Chief: This is Wonder Rat.

Rockapella: (singing) Wonder Rat

Chief: A seeker of fame with an act so lame, he gives rats a bad name. His last known whereabouts: Atlanta, Georgia. Long before the days of the multiscreen cineplex, there was the Golden Age of the movie palace. Huge spectacular one-screen theaters that made going to the movies a real event, and one of the grandest of those old palaces is Atlanta's fabulous Fox Theater. Opened in 1929, the Fox seats nearly 4,000 and has an Arabian fantasy interior that could be straight out of Aladdin. With ornate towers, tents, and balconies, even a star-studded sky, the Fox is really something to see. Or it was until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!

Chief: ...when Wonder Rat crime-coptered into Atlanta, roped himself a Fox, then choppered it away. Now he's got that captive audience he's always wanted. Trouble is they don't want him. Gumshoes, you've got to outfox that Fox-filching rodent and wrap up today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo

Chief: ...FALL OF THE HOUSE OF USHERS!

Headache in the Temple [5.34]

[Eartha Brute steals the Temple of Hatshepsut from Deir-el-Bahri, Egypt.]

Chief: This is Eartha Brute.

Rockapella: (singing) Eartha Brute, huh

Chief: Her biceps bulge, her laughs of flared. She's so pumped up, she's got muscular hair. Her last known whereabouts, Deir-el-Bahri, Egypt. About 3,500 years ago, Egypt was ruled by Hatshepsut, its first female pharaoh. She was known for building great structures and for expanding Egypt's trade with other countries. Under her rule, a trip was launched across the Red Sea in search of a land called Punt. The successful voyage, which returned with many riches is recorded in pictures and hieroglyphs on the Temple of Hatshepsut. She built a temple as a monument in tomb for herself and it commemorates many events from her reign as pharaoh. Or it did until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Oh, no!

Chief: ...when Eartha Brute donned a snaky headband and walked like an Egyptian into Deir-el-Bahri. She toted the temple away and turned it into a sandstone Barcalounger. Gumshoes, bring in the brute and end the throbbing pain of today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief: ...HEADACHE IN THE TEMPLE!

Se Habla Espa-ol [5.35]

[Patty Larceny steals the Spanish letter ñ from Spain]

Chief: This is Patty Larceny.

Rockapella: (singing) P-P-P-Patty

Chief: A teenage scammer, good with grammar, headed for the slammer. Her last known whereabouts: Spain. Over a quarter billion people today speak Spanish. This beautiful language had its origins in medieval Latin. Latin has lots of words with double Ns like annum, the word for year. The Spanish came up with a clever way to abbreviate those Ns. They created the letter ñ, and the Latin annum became the Spanish año. Many Spanish words include the ñ, such as mañaña, which means tomorrow, and even the name for Spain, España. Spanish is the only modern language that uses the letter ñ. At least it did until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!

Chief: ...when lawless Miss Larceny, disguised as a flamenco dancer, popped up in sunny Spain then fanned out across the country. With a wicked wave of her flimflamming fan, she looted the letter from banks and books till every tilda-popped ñ was took. She hopes to cash in her copped characters for extra credit in crime class. Gumshoes, the fate of the Spanish language hinges on today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo

Chief: ...SE HABLA ESPA-OL!

Haul That Jazz [5.37]

[Sarah Nade steals the Alabama Jazz Hall of Fame.]

Chief: This is Sarah Nade.

Rockapella: (singing) Sarah Nade

Chief: She's got tattoos, her navel's pierced and she hates Yani, something fierce. Her last known whereabouts: Birmingham, Alabama. Jazz music is one of our nation's great contributions to world culture. The Alabama Jazz Hall of Fame celebrates that contribution by honoring jazz musicians with ties to that state. You'll find exhibits on jazz greats like W.C. Handy, Lionel Hampton, and famed local jazz teacher John T. "Fess" Whatley. The hall sponsors programs too, like jazz in schools. It brings the cool sounds of live jazz music to over 10,000 kids each year. Or it did until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Crime!

Chief: ... when Sarah Nade breezed into Birmingham and decided to take five at the jazz hall. Later, she trucked back and struck with a jazz-jolting blast from her super sound system. Ear bleeds were reported in a ten-mile radius. Now she's turned that place of fame into a Hall of Shame. Gumshoes, I'll be kind of blue until you crack today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief: ...HAUL THAT JAZZ!

20th Century Rat [5.38]

[Wonder Rat steals the FESPACO monument from Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso.]

Chief: This is Wonder Rat.

Rockapella: (singing) Wonder Rat

Chief: Polyester fur and a nylon tail, likes to claim that he went to Yale. His last known whereabouts: Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso. For pure showbiz glamour, France's Cannes Film Festival is tough to top. But to see the best in African films, Ouagadougou is the place to go. Every two years, the city hosts the Panafrican Film and Television Festival, best known by its French abbreviation FESPACO. The festival started in 1969 to help nurture Africa's young film industry, and to promote African films to a global audience. Since then, FESPACO has grown to become one of the biggest cultural events on the continent. At least it was until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Oh. no!

Chief: ...when Wonder Rat whirled into Ouagadougou aboard his cheddar chopper. He jumped down on the sculpture that is a symbol of FESPACO, then kept pouncing his pilfering paws until he pogoed away. Now that star-struck stooge is staging a film fest starring himself. Better get a barf bag with your popcorn and Coke. Gumshoes, I'm counting on you to crack today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo

Chief: ...20TH CENTURY RAT!

The Persian Incursion [5.39]

[Eartha Brute steals Persepolis from Iran]

Chief: This is Eartha Brute.

Rockapella: (singing) Eartha Brute, huh

Chief: She can tear you limb from limb, thanks to her membership at World Gym. Her last known whereabouts: Southwest Iran. Persepolis was an ancient city built around 500 B.C. by Darius the Great of Persia. It was constructed mainly for hosting big ol' parties with large palaces and audience hall and elaborate art. During the New Year's Festival, for example, people came from throughout the Persian Empire to bring gifts to the king. In 330 B.C., Alexander the Great sees Persepolis and burned it. Many centuries later, archaeologists uncovered the splendid riches of this once great city. But those riches vanished today...

Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!

Chief: ...when Eartha Brute unearthed herself in Iran. She perused Persepolis, then proceeded to heist horses, filch the freezes, and generally left no stone unstolen. What she'll do to get friends is really a crime. Gumshoes, repossess Persepolis and crack today's caper...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo

Chief: ...THE PERSIAN INCURSION!

Tyrannosaurus Wrecked [5.41]

[Eartha Brute steals the Calgary Zoo's Prehistoric Park from Alberta, Canada.]

Chief: This is Eartha Brute.

Rockapella: (singing) Eartha Brute, huh

Chief: If you're looking for brains, you won't find a trace. Between her two ears is a wide-open space. Her last known whereabouts: Calgary, Alberta. Take a ten-minute drive from downtown Calgary and step millions of years back in time. You can do it at the Calgary Zoo's Prehistoric Park. It's North America's only major park to show dinosaurs in their natural environment. Of course, the dinos aren't real. There are life-size replicas and they're surrounded by plant life and other prehistoric animals which resemble those from the same era. Seeing dinosaurs in their natural habitat almost brings these long dead creatures back to life. Or it did until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Oh, no!

Chief: ...when Eartha Brute clomped into Calgary in her cave gal best. She then proceeded to poach the park of every prehistoric beast, and she probably still hasn't noticed that they aren't real. Gumshoes, I'm counting on you to crack today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief: ...TYRANNOSAURUS WRECKED!

In Casa Emergency, Call 911 [5.42]

[Contessa steals Casa Rosada from Buenos Aires]

Chief: This is Contessa.

Rockapella: (singing) Contessa

Chief: A well-dressed pest with a taste for the best. Her last known whereabouts: Buenos Aires, Argentina. Since 1894, Argentine presidents have lived in La Casa Rosada, or pink house. Some say the palace was painted pink to set it apart from the US White House. Others say pink was one of the few colors available back then. It was made by mixing beef blood with lime. Either way, La Casa Rosada is a symbol of Argentine government. Traditionally, the country's leaders address the nation from the balcony of this proud pink palace. Or they did until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Oh, no!

Chief: ...when Contessa breezed into Buenos Aires and cased the casa. She rounded up a herd of that famous Argentine beef, then stampeded the palace to places unknown. Now she's flying the flag of treason and laughing all the way to the pompous. Gumshoes, you must conclude today's conundrum...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo

Chief: ...IN CASA EMERGENCY, CALL 911!

Tales You Lose [5.43]

[Wonder Rat steals the Grimm's Fairy Tales from Kassel, Germany.]

Chief: This is Wonder Rat.

Rockapella: (singing) Wonder Rat

Chief: A crook who travels incognita, nibbling chunks of smooth Velveeta. His last known whereabouts: Kassel, Germany. Once upon a time, there were two brothers named Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm. They wrote and published more than 200 folk tales they had heard from friends and folks around Kassel. Stories like Red Riding Hood, Hansel and Gretel, and Rapunzel. The Grimms wanted to publish the tales before they were forgotten and lost forever. They were first translated into English in the 1820s and have since appeared in dozens of other languages to the enjoyment of readers around the world. At least they were enjoyed until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Oh, no!

Chief: ...when Wonder Rat pulled a crime for all time in his sleep. He dozed off and in his dreams, he pilfered every page of those classic Grimm tales. When he awoke, the heist was complete and the grim truth is, he's now writing himself into every story. Gumshoes, only you can close the book on today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo

Chief: ...TALES YOU LOSE!

Haul of the Roamin' Empire [5.44]

[Eartha Brute steals the Empire State Building from New York City.]

Chief: This is Eartha Brute.

Rockapella: (singing) Eartha Brute, huh

Chief: She dreams of love, but even Cupid couldn't find someone quite as stupid. Her last known whereabouts: New York City, New York. Ah, the Empire State Building, a stone and steel marvel rising a quarter-mile high. It was the world's tallest building for four decades. Amazingly, this mammoth skyscraper was built in just over a year, a speed record that still stands. Today, there are taller towers, but none has the allure and history of the Empire State Building. Blimps once docked on its mast, a bomber crashed into the 78th floor, and it's here mighty King Kong met his fate. But today was ill-fated for the building itself...

Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!

Chief: ...when Eartha Brute copped a copter and parachuted down onto Manhattan like a big piece of bad news. She scooped up the skyscraper, shook it up and down, and giggled like an idiot, then stomped out of town. Now it's up to you gumshoes to wrap up today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo

Chief: ...HAUL OF THE ROAMIN' EMPIRE!

Latitude Adjustment [5.46]

[Robocrook steals the Equatorial Monument from Mitad del Mundo, Ecuador.]

Chief: This is Robocrook.

Rockapella: (singing) Robocrook

Chief: An ironclad cad with titanium in his cranium. His last known whereabouts: Mitad del Mundo, Ecuador. Mitad del Mundo means middle of the world. That's because it lies on the Equator, the imaginary line dividing Earth's northern and southern hemispheres. Visitors love to share across the Equator or stand in one foot with each hemisphere, and they usually visit the Equatorial Monument, a 90-foot stone pedestal with a giant globe on top. They can check out the view from the observation deck and look at exhibits about Ecuador's native people. Or they could until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!

Chief: ...when Robocrook took the night off from his cyborg bowling league, and bowled a frame at the monument. But when his strike shot failed, Robo struck back and spared no effort to snarker that marker. Now that pinhead's setting head pins at his stolen bowl-o-rama. Gumshoes, only you can keep today's case out of the gutter.

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo

Chief: LATITUDE ADJUSTMENT!

---

Barry (English accent; during the Office Sketch): The concept of a giant duck at the center of the Earth is fictional, and is intended solely for entertainment purposes. The center of the Earth actually consists of a lot of complicated gases and minerals that would take a long time to explain, and aren't very funny, anyway.

---

Greg: (when he goes into the alley getting ready for his training exercise) Okay, guys, little train--

Voice: OOOOOOOOOOOHH! (The alley is shaking like a earthquake, Greg protects two of the gumshoes from being blown away While The Third Is Sitting But Is Not Protected By Greg)

Greg: Whoa, hold on! Wait a minute! FEED THE COW!! FEED THE COW!!

---

Robo: A virus has infected my system's software. It causes me to divulge Carmen's location. You'll find her in Asia. Please! Don't say that I sent you.

Art So Nice, They Stole it Twice [5.48]

[Sarah Nade steals the painting The Scream]

Chief: This is Sarah Nade.

Rockapella: (singing) Sarah Nade

Chief: Rings on her fingers, rings through her nose. When she works for Carmen, anything goes. Her last known whereabouts: Oslo, Norway. Edvard Munch was a Norwegian painter born in 1863. Munch was a founder of the expressionist art movement. Expressionists tried to express deep emotions in their paintings. Munch had lived a difficult life and his art depicted his pain and loneliness. His best-known painting, The Scream, retains a silent and solitary howl on a bridge. The Scream was mysteriously stolen in 1994 but later recovered, and now hangs again in Oslo's national art museum. Or it did until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Oh!

Chief: ...when Sarah stole into Oslo and stole it again. Screaming is music to Sarah's ears so she maneuvered into the museum, scooped up The Scream, then scampered away. Now she's yowling with the best of it. Gumshoes, capture that con artist and crack today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief: ...ART SO NICE, THEY STOLE IT TWICE!

---

Sarah: Aw, man! This prison life is bogus! The guard just confiscated my tattoo! Carmen's gotta spring me. But she's in Asia. Go find her.

Totem Bites Back [5.49]

[Kneemoi steals Totem Bight State Park.]

Chief: This is Kneemoi.

Rockapella: (singing) Kneemoi

Chief: Often mistaken for a UFO, she takes her earthly loot to go. Her last known whereabouts: Southeast Alaska. There were once many villages of Tlingit and Haida people in this region, but many were abandoned long ago. Luckily, Totem Bight State Historical Park preserved the traditions of those early villages and the artistic skills of their residence with authentic totem poles and a clan house. Original carving and painting techniques were used to craft the totem poles, and the replica clan house shows how 30 to 50 people might have lived together. Since 1959, Totem Bight Park has helped keep-alive local native cultures. Or it did until today...

Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!

Chief: ...when Kneemoi went aloft in Alaska and descended to tackle a totem. She whirred through the park like a buzzsaw, toting off totems by the pound. In fact, she's even morphed herself to look like one. Now she's parading the pilfered poles on planet Roddenberry. Gumshoes, retake Totem Bight and solve today's case...

Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo

Chief: ...TOTEM BITES BACK!

---

Greg and The Chief: AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!

Greg: You know, Chief, the background music is fun, but, um, I'm just not sure that it's us. You know what I mean?

Chief: You know, I think you're right.

Greg: Yeah.

Chief: You know, I kind of miss good ol' Rockapella. You got it. They're a little goofy, but they did get the job done.

Greg: I agree completely. Totally.

Chief: Speaking of getting the job done...

Greg: All right, Chief. Uh, boys, you wanna sing me out, please? (Rockapella sing the show's theme song and Greg dances out of the office, while the Chief dances along).

---

Liat: Virgin of Carmen Festival.

Greg: Virgin of Carmen Festival. (Shoeprints are revealed)

Rockapella: (sings to the tune of their theme song) Ooh-wah! The virgin, ooh-wah!

---

Greg: Inca Trail. (Shoeprints are revealed)

Rockapella: Elliot's been there!

Greg: Oh, is that right?

---

Kneemoi: Prison sports are really fun! I get used as a Frisbee, a dartboard, and a second base! Carmen should see me play. But she's in Asia. Go find her.

A Rodent Ran Through It [Finale]

[Wonder Rat steals the Amazon River.]

Rockapella: (as clowns) Help!

---

Chief: This is Wonder Rat.

Rockapella: (singing): Wonder Rat

Chief: A wannabe fat cat dressed like a rat with a brain the size of a gnat. His last known whereabouts: South America. High in the Andes Mountains of Peru, the mighty Amazon River begins its 4,000 mile trek across the rainforests of South America. Along the way, hundreds of rivers feed its rush to the Atlantic coast of Brazil where it empties more water into the ocean than any other river in the world. The Amazon basin is home to countless plant and animals species, most of which we know little or nothing about. But many we have studied provide valuable medicine and knowledge. Or they did until today...

Rockapella: (singing): Oh, no!

Chief: ...when Wonder Rat brazenly breezed into Brazil with a king-sized pump of an industrial strength hose. He switched on his chunk pump, drained the entire Amazon, then whisked the water away. Now, he's using it to fill his big cheese pool. Too bad that ratface forgot that piranhas like rodents as snacks. Gumshoes, grab him before the fish do and solve today's case...

Rockapella: (singing): Woo-woo-ooo-oo

Chief: ...A RODENT RAN THROUGH IT!

---

Wonder Rat: Know why they call me Wonder Rat? 'Cause it's a wonder that I'd rat on my own boss! (giggles) Carmen scooted to North America. Go get her.

---

Chief: This is Lynne Thigpen for Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?, and remember the ACME Triangle of Excellence: vigilance, dedication, courage!