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Willy's Wonderland

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Willy's Wonderland is a 2021 American action comedy horror film about a quiet drifter who is tricked into cleaning up an abandoned family entertainment center haunted by murderous animatronic characters.

Directed by Kevin Lewis. Written by G. O. Parsons.
Let playtime begin.taglines

Liv Hawthorne

[edit]
  • Okay, shut up. Guys. If we’re doing this, we’re gonna do this as a mission, not a field trip. Are you with me or not?
  • I’m sorry, but I’m just not okay with letting somebody burn alive in there if we can do something about it.
  • [to The Janitor] Thank God you’re still alive. We gotta get you outta here. I stopped that bitch, but that won’t keep her away for long, so… [as The Janitor walks away] Hey! Did you not hear what I just said? [as The Janitor leaves The Fairy Room] Hey!
  • Guys, guys, it’s happening. It’s happening now. [walking up to Siren Sara] Oh, that’s the nasty bitch that tried to kill me.
  • This town has a dark history and it all starts with this horrible place.
  • What’s worse, the dead body you saw, or the guy that you left to die? Are you ready to be a murderer? Because that’s exactly what you’re gonna be. You’re gonna be a cold-blooded… [The tires squeal as Deputy Evan Olson stops the police car]
  • Then what are you? You’re complicit. You’re just another cult member recruited by the sheriff to do all of her dirty work.
  • You don’t know what it’s like living with her. My entire life, it’s like I’ve been a ghost. And no matter what I do, it doesn’t change who she is. So I thought maybe I could do something right and burn this fucking place down. So I am doing something. What about you? Hmm? You just gonna sit there and watch all of this happen and not do anything about it?

Willy Weasel

[edit]
  • [in a commercial] Hey, kids! You know what time it is? It's birthday time! [singing with other animatronics] It's your birthday, and we want you to have fun. It's your birthday, so let's party everyone. It's your birthday, and we want you to have fun. It's your birthday, so let's party everyone. [speaking] Okay now, kids. Clap your hands like there's no tomorrow. [singing with other animatronics] We welcome you to Willy's, where everyone's your friend. [speaking] That's right. [singing with other animatronics] Here at Willy's Wonderland, the good times never end. Birthday fun for everyone, how old are you today? Everyone at Willy's is hoping you will stay. [speaking] Forever! [singing with other animatronics] It's birthday time, it's birthday time, it's birthday time. Let's cheer at Willy's Wonderland! [speaking] Proudly serving families since 1984.
  • [singing with other animatronics] We’re All Friends. We Like to Play. Play, play, play every night and day. We’re All Friends. We Like to Sing. Sing, sing, sing; it’s a wonderful thing! We’re All Friends. We Like to Run. Run, run, run to the beat of the drum. We’re All Friends. We Like to Dance. Dance, dance, dance like there’s ants in our pants. [speaking] Have you been to my Super Happy Fun Room yet? Well, what are you waiting for? [singing with other animatronics] The Super Happy Fun Room is super happy fun. Join us in the Fun Room, where you’ll be number one. Popcorn, cake, and hot dogs, soda and candy too. The Super Happy Fun Room.
  • Look at all these naughty birthday boys and birthday girls. I think it’s time for them to go nightie night. [singing with other animatronics] It’s your birthday and we want you to have fun. [Their voices distort] It’s your birthday, so let’s kill everyone...
  • [At the end of the movie, popping out of a gray screen as a cartoon version of himself, to the audience] And remember, friends, the party never ends! [offscreen, singing with other animatronics] At Willy's Wonderland!

Ozzie Ostrich

[edit]
  • [to The Janitor] I'm gonna feast on your face!

Sheriff Eloise Lund

[edit]
  • Oh. Stupid idiots. It’ll just incite him more. [to Willy Weasel, apologetically] Willy, this guy does not act for us. His actions should in no way reflect on the town of Hayesville. You know that, right, Willy? [to Deputy Evan Olson, holding The Janitor at gunpoint] Well, cuff him. For God’s sakes, cuff him.
  • I’ll give you two reasons why you are: your wife and your kid. If we don’t do what needs to be done, nobody in this county is safe. [to The Janitor, as Deputy Evan Olson cuffs The Janitor's hands together] Why couldn’t you just die? [to Liv Hawthorne] Where are the others?
  • [watching as The Janitor puts the bagged animatronics in the dumpster] That G.D. S.O.B. [The Janitor waves at her] Well, I’ll be a son of a bitch. [to The Janitor, holding him at gunpoint] Hold it right there, boy. Inside, now! [marching The Janitor into Willy's Wonderland] Move! We had a good thing, but you just went and fucked it all up. Look at me. Look at me when I’m talking to you. All you had to do was die. Was that so hard? No, you just had to go ahead and stay alive, and now we got five dead kids because of you! You might have taken apart a few electronics, but I got a feeling that you can’t stop a round. [to Willy Weasel] Willy! [to The Janitor] Willy needs to eat, and I’m gonna feed him. [to Willy Weasel] Willy, come and get it! [Suddenly, the lights go out. Willy Weasel appears behind her and slices her in half. Both of her halves fall to the floor]

Jed Love

[edit]
  • [to The Janitor] Yeah, I tell everybody that attempts the 50, there ain’t shit out here, but you gotta be prepared for anything. A bunch of fun-loving kids stole the zigzag out of the back of the sheriff’s pickup a month ago. Guess you found it for ’em. [He laughs] You know what some folks consider funny? Just ruin a man’s whole damn day. God’s honest truth. Now, where’d you say you’re from? Oh, you’re one of those guys that don’t wanna look back, huh? You’re one where the past lives in the past, huh? Yeah, I understand. No, I can’t blame you. I mean, we all got so much baggage. I just say, move forward. You’re a rolling stone. Yup. We had a car chase around here a while back. Some boy got up to 150 miles an hour, just launched it right off Tension’s Peak, man. It’s like a superhero. It went fwoom! Carnage was terrible. It was just… wow.
  • Hey, it’s gonna be about $250 for the tow, and we’ll need all four tires replaced. And there was something wrong with that chip, I think. But I can fix it for about $1,000. Yep. [The Janitor pulls a credit card out of his wallet] No, cash only. Uh-uh, no. And in advance. Yeah, I don’t take no plastic credit cards. [The Janitor sees an ATM machine with an "Out of order" sign] Oh, that over there. [Jed Love chuckles] Yeah, we ain’t got no internet in Hayesville. Yeah, so all the ATMs, they just don’t work. Yeah, we were gonna get it, but they just didn’t. [He laughs] You ain’t got the cash, huh? Now, ain’t that a dilly of a pickle? Hmm. You willing to work it off? Okay, then. I think I’ve got somebody who can accommodate.
  • [In the flashback, to The Hawthornes] Well, the good news is, I can fix it. The bad news is, it’s gonna have to sit 'til I get the part. Now, Hayesville’s one hotel’s booked. But I do have a place you can stay tonight. Now, it ain’t the Ritz, but it’s a roof and it’s free if you’re willing to do a little light cleaning.

Deputy Evan Olson

[edit]
  • Sheriff, if I may, why’d you request the state to send backup for one night to curfew a place the size of a postage stamp? [He laughs] Oh, don’t get me wrong. I got a wife and kid on the way and I do love the overtime pay.

Dialogue

[edit]
[First lines]
[The T.V. turns on]
Willy Weasel: [in a commercial] Hey, kids! You know what time it is? It's birthday time! [singing with other animatronics] It's your birthday, and we want you to have fun. It's your birthday, so let's party everyone. It's your birthday, [offscreen, as Carl Hawthorne and Judy Hawthorne are in the hallway, listening for Willy Weasel's growls] and we want you to have fun. It's your birthday, so let's party everyone. [offscreen, speaking] Okay now, kids. Clap your hands like there's no tomorrow. [offscreen, singing with other animatronics, as Carl and Judy run in the hallway, listening for Willy Weasel's snarls. Willy Weasel growls] We welcome you to Willy's, where everyone's your friend.
[Willy Weasel growls, grabbing Carl, who screams]
Judy: Carl! [She runs into the dining area. Willy Weasel fights her while little Liv watches from the janitor's closet]
Willy Weasel: [in a commercial, singing with other animatronics] It's your birthday, and we want you to have fun. It's your birthday, so let's party everyone. It's your birthday, and we want you to have fun. It's your birthday, so let's party everyone. [speaking] Okay now, kids. Clap your hands like there's no tomorrow. [singing with other animatronics] We welcome you to Willy's, where everyone's your friend.
Judy: [screams offscreen]
[Blood splatters on the T.V.]
Sheriff Lund: Will you just stop it?
Liv: Open the door!
Sheriff Lund: I’ll open the damn door. [opens the passenger door] What the hell is wrong with you? No! God damn it. [Jed Love pulls up with the Janitor] Hey, Jed, what’s up?
Jed: This old boy had the misfortune of finding your zigzags out there. I figured I’d bring ’em back to you.
Sheriff Lund: He all right?
Jed: Yeah, he’ll be all right. Tire’s not, but he’ll be fine. He had this pretty Camaro right here. Yes, yes, it was that ocean blue… [As he continues talking, The Janitor and Liv Hawthorne stare at each other]
Sheriff Lund: Jed, I’ll come by and get ’em later.
Jed: All turning around, spinning out, everything. He just slid right in there and then pop, pop…
Sheriff Lund: I don’t have time for this today, okay?
Jed: Yes, ma’am. [takes the Janitor to thr garage]
Liv: Take this off me.
Sheriff Lund: Oh, you gotta be kidding me. There’s not a chance in hell I’m letting you out of this trailer tonight.
Liv: I hate you.
Sheriff Lund: Oh, talk sweet to me all you want. Get down. You know the drill. Get down.
Liv: Get out of my way.
Sheriff Lund: Come here.
Liv: What the hell are you doing? [Sheriff Eloise Lund handcuffs her to a pipe] Wait.
Sheriff Lund: I’ll be back in the morning.
Liv: What… how the hell am I supposed to eat? How am I supposed to take a piss?
Sheriff Lund: There are chips on the coffee table and a bucket on the floor. Try not to make a mess.
Liv: You’re a bitch.
Sheriff Lund: [sarcastically] Oh, I love you too. [She sarcastically smooches]
Jed: [to the Janitor] You want God to laugh, you tell him your plans. [laughs]
Tex: [to the Janitor] Howdy there, partner. My name is Tex, same as the state. Got the handle Macadoo. Welcome to Willy’s Wonderland.
Jed: Yeah, he don’t talk much.
Tex: And I respect that. I enjoy a man of few words. [Janitor looks at the graffiti] Well, business is not what it used to be, but I am fixing to reopen and make Willy’s better than ever. Anyway, enough horseshit. Here’s my offer. You spend the night cleaning Willy’s Wonderland and I will pay to have your car fixed. I go on in tomorrow, you come out of there, and your ride will be ready for you right there. Deal? [The Janitor stares at the "Willy's Wonderland" sign] If not, I got places to be. [Tex chuckles] All right. All right. [He chuckles] Let’s go inside.
Jed: [to The Janitor] Good luck, mister.
[The door squeaks as Tex and the Janitor enter the restaurant]
Tex: Watch your step. Check this out. [He turns on the T.V.]
Willy Weasel: [in a commercial] Hey, kids, it’s Willy the Weasel. Welcome to my wonderland. Come on down and meet the gang. We’ve got Arty the Alligator, Siren Sara, Cammy the Chameleon, Gus Gorilla, Knighty Knight, Ozzie the Ostrich, and Tito the Turtle.[singing with other animatronics] It’s your birthday, so let’s party, everyone. It’s your birthday and we want you to have fun. It’s your birthday, so let’s party, everyone.
Tex: We had some great times. Kids laughing, smiling, eating hot dogs, opening presents. You know the story, right? Well, some of these little bastards start crawling over the characters, they get hurt. A couple of lawsuits later from Mommy Safety Organizations and wham, bam, thank you, ma’am, we’re out of business. Shut us right down. [opens the janitor's closet] Damn thing always gets jammed. [sighs, turning on the light] Yeah. This stuff oughta do the trick. Broom, mop, bucket, drain snake, Windex, rags, whatever you need, we got it. [presents a Willy's Wonderland shirt] Oh, lookee here. Congratulations. You are officially on staff. [sighs] Well, pal, it’s gonna be dark soon. I’ll be back in the morning with that car of yours dapper and ready to drive or my name is not Tex Macadoo. [chuckles] Help yourself to whatever you can find in the kitchen. It’s on the house. And be sure to take breaks. Always good to pace yourself. That’s it. Good luck.
[Tex chains the doors shut. He walks over to his truck]
Tex: [exhales, trying to light cigar] Damn.
Jed: I thought you quit.
Tex: My last one. [sighs] Piece of shit. [throws the lighter at the dumpster] All right, let’s get the hell outta here. I can’t stand to hear a grown man scream.
[Liv's friends pull up in the truck]
Chris: Liv, you in there?
Liv: Oh, shit. Yeah, I’m in here. Can you help me out?
Chris: Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Aaron Powers: Okay, calm down, dude. No need to be a superhero.
Chris: [bumps the door] Oh!
Aaron: Oh, my God.
Chris: Oh, damn it! Oh!
Aaron: [opening the door] Nice one, genius. The door was unlocked.
Chris: How am I supposed to know that? [they all enter the trailer]
Aaron: Oh, shit. Let me see if we can find something to get you out of that.
Bob: She gave you a bucket? Bitch is wicked.
Chris: Liv, you okay?
Liv: Are you okay?
Chris: Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Just…
Aaron: I found a screwdriver.
Bob: What the hell are we gonna do with a screwdriver? Have y’all never worn handcuffs before?
Aaron: Oh, shut up.
Dan: Why not just look for the key?
Chris: [looks in the refrigerator] What the hell am I looking in the fridge for?[closes the refrigerator] God, these eggs are definitely bad. [as Kathy unlocks the handcuffs, using a hairpin] We need, like, a saw or a pliers or something.
Bob: Pliers? Can’t find no key in here.
Chris: Shut up and find something.
Bob: You shut up! You ain’t had no handcuffs on.
Liv: [clears throat] Gee, thanks for the help, guys.
Chris: Cool. We good.
Dan: Yo.
Liv: Come on. We’re late. I saw the bait already.
Chris: Where?
Liv: Well, he was with Jed in his truck. Probably locked inside Willy’s by now.
Bob: Well, let’s roll out. I wanna see that bitch burn.
Kathy: Yeah, burn, baby, burn.
Liv: Wait, guys, this isn’t for your entertainment, okay? It’s for doing what’s right.
Bob: It’s gotta be a little entertaining. Look, I wanna see them freak bastards die for what I see ’em do.
Aaron: Shut up, dude. What have you seen them do?
Bob: Remember that one time I was…
Liv: Okay, shut up. Guys. If we’re doing this, we’re gonna do this as a mission, not a field trip. Are you with me or not?
Chris: Yeah, we’re with you, Liv.
Aaron: Whatever you say.
Bob: Yeah.
Liv: All right. Let’s do this.
[Liv turns to flip the trailer off, and closes the door]
Deputy Olson: Sheriff, if I may, why’d you request the state to send backup for one night to curfew a place the size of a postage stamp? [laughs] Oh, don’t get me wrong. I got a wife and kid on the way and I do love the overtime pay.
Sheriff Lund: Double overtime.
Deputy Olson: Right. So what’s the plan the rest of the evening?
Sheriff Lund: See that phone?
Deputy Olson: Yeah.
Sheriff Lund: We’re gonna sit here and pray it don’t ring.
Deputy Olson: Copy that.
[Liv and her friends are pouring gasoline all over the front side of Willy's Wonderland]
Aaron: Hey, Chris.
Chris: What?
Aaron: Can you pour gas literally anywhere else?
Chris: I’m sorry you pour like crap, Aaron.
Aaron: You’re pouring gas on top of my gas.
Chris: All right, let me go over here and I’ll just paint the bush.
Aaron: Perfect. Thank you.
Bob: [to Kathy] Hey, you blowing bubbles? Bring your ass.
Aaron: You forgot the lighter, didn’t you?
Chris: No, I didn’t.
Aaron: Then let me see it. Oh, my God.
Chris: There you go.
'Dan: Yeah, all right.
Liv: Wait, wait, wait. Uh-uh. Not yet. [Aaron scoffs]
Liv: That guy’s still in there. We gotta get him out first. [the Janitor is cleaning the inside of an oven. Liv knocks at the window] Hey, sir! Sir! You’re not safe in there. We gotta get you out. [the Janitor leaves] Hey!
Kathy: Well, that was rude.
Bob: Hey, look, if he don’t wanna be safe, it’s his ass, not ours.
Liv: Tough shit. I’m getting him out whether he likes it or not.
Aaron: You wanna go in there with those things? Are you high?
Bob: Look, if he wanna be cremated, that’s his business.
Aaron: Yeah.
Liv: I’m sorry, but I’m just not okay with letting somebody burn alive in there if we can do something about it.
Chris: She’s right.
Aaron: Of course she is, Chris.
Chris: Oh, shut up!
Bob: Hurry this shit up so we can go home.
Liv: I’ll figure out how to get inside, but I’m not putting you guys in danger. You just figure out how to get us out once I do.
Chris: Okay.
[All of Liv Hawthorne's friends are on the roof]
Chris: We go in, fast, we split up, and as soon as we find Liv and this janitor dude, we’re out.
Aaron: Hmm.
Chris: What, Aaron?
Aaron: We just don’t need any more Batman bullshit, all right?
Chris: Okay. Thank you. Yeah, I know. It’s only going to make it less safe for everyone else.
Dan: You mean kinda like Liv just did?
Chris: Excuse me?
Aaron: Say what you gotta say.
Bob: Speak up. Now’s the time, Dan. You ain’t gonna say it?
Chris: Do you guys have something in mind?
Bob: Hell, yeah, we do. Everything you telling us not to do, that’s exactly what your dream girl got us up here doing. And now we probably all getting fucked up because of it.
Kathy: Bobby.
Bob: What? Am I lying? No, I’m not. It’s the truth.
Chris: Fine. I’ll just go myself.
Bob: Oh, whatever, Chris. When are you getting it through your thick-ass skull, huh? Kissing that ass ain’t gonna get you that ass, playboy. It’ll more than likely get you killed, and ain’t nobody, [to Kathy] except for you, baby, [to Chris] worth none of this bullshit you got us up here doing. So you know what? I’m out this bitch. [to Kathy] Baby, let’s go.
[Chris attacks Bob. They fight]
Aaron: No, Chris! Chris!
Bob: Oh, shit!
[Chris screams as the roof caves in. He and Bob fall through the roof into the ball pit]
Kathy: Bobby!
[All scream as the roof caves in. They fall through the roof into the ball pit. Chris groans]
Bob: God damn!
Chris: Everybody okay?
Aaron: Yeah.
Chris: Nice of you guys to join us.
Liv: [enters the dining area] Wait, what are you guys doing here?
Chris: Oh, my God. Liv, you’re alive.
Liv: I thought we all agreed you were supposed to stay outside and help us find a way out.
Chris: Yeah, uh…
Liv: Now, how the hell are we supposed to get out of here?
Chris: I tried to keep ’em on the roof, but they wouldn’t listen.
Bob: It’s your fault we were on the roof.
Chris: It’s my fault?
Bob: It was your fault.
Willy Weasel: [singing with other animatronics] We’re all friends. We like to play.
Liv: Guys, guys, it’s happening. It’s happening now. [walking up to Siren Sara] Oh, that’s the nasty bitch that tried to kill me.
Chris: Liv.
[Liv attempts stab Siren Sara in the face with her pocket knife, but the Janitor grabs her]
Willy Weasel: [singing with other animatronics] Play, play, play every night and day.
Liv: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?
Chris: Hey, what the hell, man?
Liv: What are you… dude!
Willy Weasel: [singing with other animatronics] We’re all Friends. We like to sing.
Chris: Put her down, okay?
[The Janitor releases her]
Liv: I’m trying to help you, you dumbass! Seriously? I’m trying to help him understand that he’s gonna die in here, but he won’t listen to me.
Willy Weasel: [singing with other animatronics] Sing, sing, sing. It’s a wonderful thing!
Aaron: Wait a second. Wasn’t there eight of them?
[Everyone turns to the six remaining animatronics]
Willy Weasel: [singing with other animatronics] We’re all friends. We like to run.
Aaron: Oh, that’s badass.
Liv: I know the bullshit story they told you. That if you clean up the place tonight, they’ll pay to have your tires fixed by morning, right? It’s a lie. They’ve said the same story to countless other over the last 20 years. They baited you. You’re here to be a human sacrifice. You’re here to be eaten and killed. Do you understand that? This town has a dark history. And it all starts with this horrible place. You know, Willy’s may seem like a happy-go-lucky child’s play place, but it’s much, much more than that. Willy’s was built in 1996, the brainchild of Jerry Robert Willis. If that name sounds familiar to you, it should. Jerry was one of the last century’s most sick and sadistic serial killers. Jerry spent most of the time cultivating similar sickos. I mean, these were the most depraved people you could ever imagine. Often, Jerry and his crew would whisk away unsuspecting families to the Super Happy Fun Room. Once inside, the families would be treated to a birthday cake and a private show by Willy Weasel. The shows would always end the same way. [Willis, in the Willy costume, stalks behind the birthday boy. He slashes his claws at the boy and kidnaps the boy's sister while their parents flee] After numerous missing persons reports and suspicious smells coming from the inside of Willy’s, the law felt it was time to investigate. [Sirens wail outside the restaurant] Jerry and his gang refused to be taken alive. After the police finally entered the Super Happy Fun Room, they discovered that Jerry and his crew had performed a satanic suicide ritual. Instead of surrendering, the killers decided to take their own lives. Those familiar with satanic rituals speculate that the suicide ritual was some sort of a Katra transfer of energy where the memory and consciousness of the living relocate into non-living entities. In this case, the animatronic robots. Ten years later, Willy’s reopens with a new owner, Tex Macadoo. He tries to keep the current public unaware of its horrific past. Things are wrong from the start. [A little girl hugs Gus Gorilla. Gus Gorilla grabs her] There’s reports that the creatures would move on their own. [A fat little boy is about to touch Siren Sara's breasts] Some would say things they weren’t programmed to say.
Siren Sara: [giggles] You really wanna fuck, fatty?
[the fat little boy gasps]
Liv: [as Willy Weasel bites a little boy in the right shoulder] And others would kill and feast on customers. [The little boy cries] After several ghastly incidents, Willy’s closes its doors again. But Tex still doesn’t bulldoze it to the ground. Why, you may ask?
Aaron: Because Willy got to him.
Dan: Convinced him to make a deal with the devil. Along with all those other backwoods inbreds in this sorry town.
Chris: Speaking of backwoods inbreds, where’d Bob and Kathy go?
Liv: [to the Janitor] Have you been listening to a word I’ve been saying?
Willy Weasel: [offscreen] Look at all these naughty birthday boys and birthday girls.
Aaron: Oh, shit.
[Liv Hawthorne and her friends run out into the dining area]
Willy Weasel: I think it’s time for them to go nightie night. [singing with other animatronics] It’s your birthday and we want you to have fun. [their voices distort] It’s your birthday, so let’s kill everyone... [singing] Six little chickens at the end of the line. Six Little Chickens at the end of the line. One happy weasel says, "It's dinnertime!" Six little chickens gonna be just fine! Six little chickens in the weasel's den. Four little Roosters & A Couple of Hens. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. Six Little Chickens at the END of the line! Six Little Chickеns. [speaking] Watch Out Now! [singing] Six little chickens [speaking] Herе comes the weasel! [singing] Six little chickens runnin' outta time WHOOPS!... Five little chickens at the END of the line!
[Knighty Knight stabs Aaron in the back from behind, impaling him. Aaron groans as his stomach bleeds]
Chris: [offscreen] Shit!
Dan: What the… holy fuck! [grunts, slipping on Aaron's blood. Aaron falls flat on his back]
Liv: [pushing Knighty Knight away] Go. Leave. Leave! [to Chris] Chris, go. [Liv's friends flee. Aaron breathes heavily] I’m sorry.
[The line rings. The phone rings. Sheriff Eloise Lund picks up the phone]
Sheriff Lund: Hayesville Sheriff’s Office.
Chris: [on the phone] Sheriff?
Sheriff Lund: This is Sheriff Lund.
Chris: It’s Chris Muley.
Sheriff Lund: What can I do you for, Chris?
Chris: Christ, I did something stupid. We’re at Willy’s.
Sheriff Lund: [hangs up; to Olson] Prank call.
[The phone rings]
Deputy Olson: You want me to get that?
Sheriff Lund: People made their beds, they gotta lie in ’em.
Deputy Olson: Pretty sure the saying is, “Protect and Serve,” Sheriff.
Sheriff Lund: Shut your mouth, smart guy. You’re not funny.
[The phone beeps]
Chris: [after the beep] Liv brought us here.
SheriffLund: Son of a bitch. [on the phone] Get your asses out of there, son. [to Deputy Olson, grabbing a couple of shotguns] Put your balls on, Evan. [throwing Deputy Olson a gun] We're going to Willy's!
[Kathy spots Arty Alligator watching her and Bob have sex]
Kathy: [gasps] Bobby, that thing just moved!
Bob: Where the fuck did it go?
[Arty Alligator roars, charging forward at Bob, biting his arm off. Bob screams, hitting Arty Alligator in the snout]
Kathy: No! No!
[Bob screams as Arty Alligator brutally bites into his body Kathy screams and runs to the door, attempting to escape but the door is closed. Arty Alligator roars and snarls as Kathy and Bob scream and sob]
[In the hallway]
Liv: [to the Janitor] I really need you to help me find my friends. Please. [Kathy screams offscreen] Oh, my God. Kathy! Oh, my God. [The Janitor kicks down the door. Arty Alligator is feasting on Bob's corpse. He turns to the Janitor. He runs at him. The Janitor grabs Arty Alligator and flips him, slamming him down onto the floor. He beats him down, repeatedly hitting him, grunting, and tears his jaws apart. He rips his tongue out. He breathes heavily. He leaves The Super Happy Fun Room. Liv looks at Bob and Kathy's corpses] I’m so sorry.
Cammy Chameleon: [The arcade games all turn on] Hello, little boy. You don’t have to be afraid of me. I’m not the same as the others. They’re so mean to me. They call me ugly and they make fun of my colorful skin. I’m trapped in this body. I just want to be free. I guess I don’t expect you to believe me. I hoped that you were different.
Chris: I’m Chris.
Cammy Chameleon: Trust me, Chris. You know you can. You can feel my goodness.
Chris: If what you’re saying is true, and you’re not like the others… I could help you get to the next life?
Cammy Chameleon: It’s true. Evil has kept me here. You must have questions. I can tell you so much about the other side. I can answer all your questions. If you can help me.
Sheriff Lund: You ever use your sidearm?
Deputy Olson: Oh. In training. But these are just punk kids, right? What, vandalizing and loitering? I doubt we’ll need to drop ’em.
Sheriff Lund: It’s not the kids. It’s Willy.
Deputy Olson: The dancing rat? [laughs] Okay. I get it. I get it. The boys told you to pull a fast one on me. Bravo. Nice try.
Sheriff Lund: It ain’t no prank. This is real as it gets. I guaran-damn-tee you that. See, in town, we knew what was happening at Willy’s. We knew there was something supernatural going on. We bellowed to the high heavens that the machines were evil. No one believed us. They thought we were yokels. Tex eventually hired a demolition crew to destroy Willy’s, except the day before bulldozers were set to roll, Eric Miller, the contractor, was found in bed as chewed up as a McDonald’s hamburger. His whole family too. After that, there wasn’t a man alive that would take the job. The town decided that maybe it was better to let sleeping dogs lie. We told everybody just to stay away from there. We figured we’d just let it rot. But rabid dogs don’t sleep when they’re hungry. The machines got out. We found bodies at the ice cream shop, the hardware store, and even the school. We had a real Hobson’s choice on our hands. You know what that is?
Deputy Olson: No.
Sheriff Lund: No choice at all. We could either go to war with the machines, come off like crazy people, probably lose a lot of good folk along the way, or…
Deputy Olson: Or what?
Sheriff Lund: We cut a deal. [flashback, to the animatronics] Leave our people be. Leave our children be. Leave our town be, and… and we will feed you.
[flashback, Jed picks up the Hawthornes]
Jed: Well, the good news is, I can fix it. The bad news is, it’s gonna have to sit 'til I get the part. Now, Hayesville’s one hotel’s booked. But I do have a place you can stay tonight. Now, it ain’t the Ritz, but it’s a roof and it’s free if you’re willing to do a little light cleaning.
Tex: [to the Hawthornes] Best place for a birthday party you’ve ever seen. [to bikers] Heck, it once was, but we’re gonna fix it. [to a Hippie couple] Bring her back to life. Congratulations. You... are... officially... on staff.
Sheriff Lund: We lived up to our end of the bargain and they kept theirs. We tried to find people who wouldn’t be missed. [flashback, Knighty Knight decapitates the homeless man] People with low moral character. [flashback, Cammy Chameleon wraps her tongue around the Hippie couple] And some people who were just at the wrong place at the wrong time. [flashback, the Hawthornes scream] Things didn’t always go exactly as planned. I usually pride myself on being able to expect the unexpected. [In the flashback, Sheriff Lund and Tex find little Liv in the janitor's closet, crying] But sometimes, life throws you a zinger. Well, this was the zinger of all zingers. [flashback, to little Liv] Good night, darling. Sweet dreams. [present] I never saw it coming.
Deputy Olson: So, that’s why we’re going?
Sheriff Lund: Liv. Much as she pisses me off, I couldn’t live with losing that girl.
Cammy Chameleon: I can show you what’s on the other side. If you could help me get there.
Liv: Oh, Chris.
Chris: Liv, Liv, it’s gonna be okay. Kay, we’re gonna make a deal and… [He grunts as Cammy Chameleon wraps her tongue around his neck, snapping it. He falls to the floor, dead. Liv gasps]
Cammy Chameleon: Wanna play, bitch?
Sheriff Lund: [to Deputy Olson, holding the Janitor at gunpoint] Get that stuff off of her. [to Willy Weasel, apologetically, as Deputy Evan Olson puts the cable in the janitor's closet] Willy, I’m so sorry about this prick.
Liv: Eloise, please, stop. He’s a good guy.
Sheriff Lund: [to Liv] Shut your yap and get outside.
Deputy Olson: They killed some of ’em.
Sheriff Lund: Oh. Stupid idiots. It’ll just incite him more. [to Willy Weasel, apologetically] Willy, this guy does not act for us. His actions should in no way reflect on the town of Hayesville. You know that, right, Willy? [to Deputy Olson, holding the Janitor at gunpoint] Well, cuff him. For God’s sakes, cuff him.
Deputy Olson: No way. I’m not leaving him here.
Sheriff Lund: I’ll give you two reasons why you are: your wife and your kid. If we don’t do what needs to be done, nobody in this county is safe. [to the Janitor, as Deputy Olson cuffs his hands together] Why couldn’t you just die? [to Liv] Where are the others?
Liv : They’re dead.
Sheriff Eloise Lund: Stupid kids. [to Deputy Olson] Do you see? Okay, time to go. Go.
Liv: No. Uh-uh. I’m not leaving without him.
Sheriff Lund: I’m not giving you a choice. Go.
Liv: I’m not leaving without him.
Sheriff Lund: Get out of here.
Liv: [to Sheriff Lund] You don’t understand. You’ve locked the wrong guy up in here. He's not trapped in there with them. They're trapped in here with him.
Sheriff Lund: [to Liv] Not for much longer. [to the Janitor] I’m sorry, son.
[The door creaks as they leave]
Liv : [to Sheriff Lund] Is that what you did to my parents? You’re a monster.
Deputy Olson: What do we do now?
Sheriff Lund: Well, I’m gonna wait here until this problem solves itself. You drop her off in a cell, come back, and get me. Should be done by then.
Liv: You can’t arrest me.
Deputy Olson: Can and will. Breaking and entering, destruction of property, and I’m pretty sure that was a dead body on the floor.
Liv: What’s worse, the dead body you saw, or the guy that you left to die? Are you ready to be a murderer? Because that’s exactly what you’re gonna be. You’re gonna be a cold-blooded…
[The tires squeal as Deputy Olson stops the police car]
Deputy Olson: Shut up! I ain’t no murderer.
Liv: Then what are you? You’re complicit. You’re just another cult member recruited by the sheriff to do all of her dirty work.
Deputy Olson: I ain’t no cult member and I ain’t no murderer. And how ’bout you, huh? Living with the sheriff all these years, all this going on, what have you done?
Liv: You don’t know what it’s like living with her. My entire life, it’s like I’ve been a ghost. And no matter what I do, it doesn’t change who she is. So I thought maybe I could do something right and burn this f@%#$g place down. So I am doing something. What about you? Hmm? You just gonna sit there and watch all of this happen and not do anything about it?
Deputy Olson: I’m gonna set things right. That’s what I’m goddamn gonna do. You’ll see.
[Tito Turtle attacks from the roof of the police car]
Sheriff Lund: [watching as the Janitor puts the bagged animatronics in the dumpster] That G.D. S.O.B. [the Janitor waves at her] Well, I’ll be a son of a bitch. [to the Janitor, at gunpoint] Hold it right there, boy. Inside, now! [marches The Janitor into Willy's Wonderland] Move! We had a good thing, but you just went and f@%#$d it all up. Look at me. Look at me when I’m talking to you. All you had to do was die. Was that so hard? No, you just had to go ahead and stay alive, and now we got five dead kids because of you! You might have taken apart a few electronics, but I got a feeling that you can’t stop a round. [to Willy Weasel] Willy! [to the Janitor] Willy needs to eat, and I’m gonna feed him. [to Willy Weasel] Willy, come and get it!
[The lights go out. Willy Weasel appears behind Lund and slices her in half. Willy Weasel grabs the Janitor and tosses him to the "It's Birthday Time!" alarm, which goes off. Confetti falls all over the place]
Willy Weasel: Hey, kids, do you know what time it is? [distorting] It’s birthday time. [singing with other animatronics, as he brutally slashes around the Janitor into the chest] It's your birthday, and we want you to have fun. It's your birthday, so let's party everyone. It's your birthday, and we want you to have fun. It's your birthday, so let's party everyone. [speaking, distorted, throwing him into the ball pit] Okay now, kids. Clap your hands like there's no tomorrow. [singing with other animatronics] We welcome you to Willy's, where everyone's your friend.[speaking, distorted] That's right. [singing with other animatronics, distorted, walking away] Here at Willy's Wonderland, the good times never end. Birthday fun for everyone, how old are you today? Everyone at Willy’s is hoping you will stay... [speaking with other animatronics] Forever. [singing with other animatronics, distorted, as the Janitor climbs out of the ball pit] It's birthday time, it's birthday time, it's birthday time. Let's cheer at Willy's Wonderland! [speaking, distorted, as the Janitor goes to the kitchen to tape two mop sticks together and put his Punch energy drinks into a bag] Proudly serving families since 1984.
[The Janitor goes back to the dining area, roaring. The two fight, the Janitor pummeling Willy's head before tearing it off. He holds it]
Tex: I gotta tell you, my hat’s off. That is one tough hombre. [chuckles. Both he and Jed laugh]
Jed: [coughs] Whoo! Well, it’s over.
Tex: Yeah.
Jed: Oh, my God, it’s actually over!
Tex: Hell, yeah, it is, boy. Hell, yeah, it is. Hey, come on. I’m gonna give you a ride. We gonna celebrate. I’m buying.
Jed: Sounds good.
Tex: It’s our lucky day. [Both he and Jed laugh] Oh, man. Hey, with the machines gone, I just might actually reopen it.
Jed: You gonna need a gimmick.
Tex: And a name. Maybe Tex’s Turf.
Jed Love: That could sing. Maybe get you a mechanical bull.
Tex: Yeah.
Jed: Draw the customers in.
Tex: Yeah, yeah, I just… I just might. [They see Siren Sara in the rear view mirror] Oh, f@%k me.
Siren Sara: [leaning on the back of the car] Thanks for visiting Willy's Wonderland! Hope you had a fantabulous time! [lights the car, causing a massive explosion, which kills Tex and Jed as well as her, flinging her off. Willy's Wonderland also gets blown up]
[Last lines]
[Tito Turtle is walking down the road]
Tito Turtle: [in a Spanish accent] Oh, mierda. ("Oh, shit.")
[He gets rammed by the Janitor's Camaro, which decapitates him, killing him. Iris-out on his disembodied head]
Willy Weasel: [At the end of the movie, popping out of a gray screen as a cartoon version of himself, to the audience] And remember, friends, the party never ends! [offscreen, singing with other animatronics] At Willy's Wonderland!

Taglines

[edit]
  • 2020 isn't over yet kids!
  • Their idea of fun is killer!
  • Let playtime begin
  • The Fun Begins This Winter

Cast

[edit]

Human cast

[edit]
  • Nicolas Cage as The Janitor
  • Emily Tosta as Liv Hawthorne
  • Beth Grant as Sheriff Eloise Lund
  • David Sheftell as Deputy Evan Olson
  • Ric Reitz as Tex Macadoo
  • Chris Warner as Jed Love
  • Kai Kadlec as Chris Muley
  • Caylee Cowan as Kathy Barnes
  • Terayle Hill as Bob McDaniel
  • Christian Del Grosso as Aaron Powers
  • Jonathan Mercedes as Dan Lorraine
  • Grant Cramer as Jerry Robert Willis

Animatronic characters

[edit]
[edit]
Wikipedia
Wikipedia
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