[Richard Levy shows Tad Hamilton a tabloid cover story]
Richard: Congratulations. You're actually drinking, driving, smoking, leering and groping at the same time.
Richard the Shameless: Which on one hand, is just about the coolest thing ever...
[the other Richard Levy scoffs]
Richard the Shameless: ...but on the other hand, maybe isn't so great for the image.
[Pete sums up the "Win a Date" contest]
Pete: Heaven is just a mouse click away.
[Pete gives Rosalee some parting advice before her big date]
Pete: Guard your carnal treasure.
Pete: I told you to guard your carnal treasure! You practically *chucked* it at him!
Pete: Tad Hamilton is an actor. How do you know he's not acting with you?
Tad: Yeah, Pete told me if I ever hurt you; that he would tear me into pieces with his bare hands or with his rhetoric.
Rosalee: Pete told you if you hurt me, he would tear you to pieces with his bare hands or with his rhetoric? That is so... adorable.
Cathy: [to Tad] And at which point, Tad. If you are going back to the airport, I will ride with you, and by the Route 73 cloverleaf, I will have given myself to you in ways you've only read about in the drugstore!
Pete: [to Tad] Like do you know she has six smiles? One when something really makes her laugh. One when she's making plans. One when she is laughing out of politeness. One when she is uncomfortable. One when she is making fun of herself. And one when... she's talking about her friends.
Rosaleee: You have five smiles, Pete. One when you think someone an idiot. One when you think someone's REALLY an idiot. One when you're singing to Barry White. One when you're getting all dressed up. And one when you're looking at me.
Angelica: Well is it love, big love, or great love?
Pete: What do you mean?
Angelica: Well, love you get over in two months, big love you get over in two years, and great love, well great love... changes your life. So which one is it?
[Pete laughs and takes a big gulp out of his drink]