WrestleMania

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WrestleMania is a professional wrestling pay-per-view event, produced annually in late-March or early-April by World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) (formerly known as World Wrestling Federation). It is considered the flagship pay-per-view event of WWE, as it is the most successful, longest-running professional wrestling event in the world and is nicknamed "The Grandaddy of Them All", "The Grandest Stage of Them All" and "The Showcase of Immortals."

WrestleMania (1985)[edit]

Howard Finkel: Welcome to Wrestlemania!

Jesse "The Body" Ventura: Woodstock was to rock and roll, what WrestleMania is to wrestling.

Mean Gene Okerlund: Finally, your men, in a very controversial match...
Freddie Blassie: What do you mean "controversial"? He pinned him right in the center of the ring, didn't he? Did he or did he not pin him for the count of three?
Mean Gene Okerlund: Where's that cane of yours?
Freddie Blassie: What cane? I...didn't have no cane!

Mean Gene Okerlund: All right, we're just moments away from the big one. When I say big, the battle of the titans. Big John Studd, Bobby Heenan, come in. Andre the Giant putting his entire career on the line.
Big John Studd: Oh man, this bag is heavy man! This is what it was all about. $15,000 that we used for bait. John Studd, the only giant of wrestling. 7 foot plus, nearly 400 pounds of solid muscle. And this is what we wanted to prove to the whole world that I am the giant in a few short moments, along with this $15,000. You're going to see me in the ring and you're going to see the last match of Andrea because he retires if he can't do it.
Mean Gene Okerlund: Bobby Heenan, I'm just counting the money here.
Bobby "The Brain" Heenan: You know what we did, just keep your hands to yourself here. For $15,000 and a haircut, we are eliminating Andre the Giant from professional wrestling. Oh yeah, a lot of gladhandlers out here today. Keep your hands out of there pal! Only two people are going to see this money. That's Studd and myself. Oh, three, the people at the bank when we deposit the money. But not the Giant.
Mean Gene Okerlund: Stand by! It's upcoming.
Bobby: He's retired, he's done, he's done and don't you touch our money.

Jesse "The Body" Ventura: I've seen plenty of anticlimactic Super Bowls in my day, I've seen a lot of lousy NBA Championships in my day, but we definitely are not seeing...we're seeing the greatest spectacle in wrestling history right now.

Hulk Hogan: WrestleMania, Hulk Hogan, Mr. T, Superfly Jimmy Snuka: we reign supreme, can you dig that?!

WrestleMania 2 (1986)[edit]

Lou Duva: He's the prospect, I think of the heavyweights out there today, he the best prospect known. He's trained diligently, he's in real good shape. Heavyweight's one punch and it's all over. Tonight, he's in shape and he's going to do his job. Right Roddy?
Rowdy Roddy Piper: I'm cute. I groomed my hair long, that way during the fight tonight, you can tell the difference between me and T. I figured some of you folks out there may get a little confused. I have got the absolute best coach in the entire world to train me. I've been down with Biggs training, with Spinks training. He went and got Smokin' Joe Frazier in his corner. Are you ribbing me? He threw a medicine ball at my belly. Didn't move an inch! I'm down to 219 pounds in 30 minutes. You see, he talks cheap! So you say Roddy, you're sitting there talking? I say this to you! I say if Mr. T can knock me out in this fight right here, I would not only quit professional boxing, I would quit and retire from professional wrestling, I will quit tiddlywinks, I will quit dating girls! [To Cowboy Bob Orton] I'd stick with you. I would quit it all! I right now say if T can knock me out, I will retire and I'm going to stick my head out there round after round after round and put it out there because as pretty as it is, he's going to shoot some punches, I'm going to be moving like that just like coach taught me. He's gonna shoot some more, I'm going to be moving like that. And another thing, you know Mr. T, I know you're a smart aleck. You come out with a kilt, but let me tell you something, never will I shave my hair like an indian and paint myself black. Too-hoo!

Susan St. James: All right, George, eat his leg!

Jesse: Hogan, your ribs are injured, you're facing the biggest, toughest man I believe you've ever faced in your career in King Kong Bundy inside a steel cage. Man, I can't believe you'd do something like that as Champion of the world!
Hogan: Well, you know, Ventura, I don't care what you believe, brother. You're gettin' paid to ask the questions. Whether my ribs are busted up or not, I'm gonna defend this World Heavyweight Title, man. It's everything I believe in, all those little Hulksters, and it stands for America, brother! Bundy's goin' down, it doesn't matter about the ribs, Ventura. And as far as Mr. T and Rowdy Roddy Piper: I'm gonna make a prediction that Mr. T's gonna come out on top because he's fightin' for what he believes in too; and Piper, just like a lot of other dudes out here [pointing thumb at Ventura], like you, Ventura, take a lot of shortcuts and go down awful quick!
Jesse: I'll just say this: good guys don't always finish first.

Howard: Ladies and gentlemen, in the fourth round, the referee stops this bout, he awards the decision as a result of a disqualifaction to Mr. T!

Piper: If I wanted to come for a picnic, T, I would've packed a lunch.

[During the Uncle Elmer v. Adorable Adrian Adonis match]
Elvira: I have never seen so much cellulite in one place at one time, I don't think.
Jesse: Between the both of them?
Elvira: No, I was just talking about Adonis.

Elvira: I never trust a man who wears pink legwarmers.

Bobby: No more Hulkamania, no more Hulk this, Hulk that. It's Bundymania from now on.
...
Susan St. James: Bundymania? It doesn't even sound good.

Jesse: Hulk is coming back with a tape of his own. Now, Alfred Hayes, what do you got to say about the champion?
Lord Alfred Hayes: Well, that's tit-for-tat, Jesse. What's good for the goose, is good for the gander.
Jesse: I figured an Englishman like you'd come up with something like that!
Elvira: You jealous because you don't have a cartoon show, Jesse?
Jesse: Don't you get on my case either, Elvira, or you won't go out with me later!

Jesse: Someday, sometime, he's gonna have to showdown with me.
Elvira: If you win, I'll go out with you.

WrestleMania III (1987)[edit]

Vince McMahon: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the magnificent Silverdome! And welcome to Wrestlemania III!

Bob Uecker: Little Beaver reminds me of a girl I went with about 25 years ago. She had the same haircut.

Bob Uecker: Hey! You see what, hey!
Jesse: What happened there?
Bob Uecker: Little Beaver just gave Bundy a shot in the boiler.

Bob Uecker: It's Moolah! She's here! No wonder you guys are here all the time! The moon is full and so am I! I gotta get with Moolah! I'm leavin', see you guys later!

Gorilla Monsoon: Look at that, Jess. This is unfair, the outside help to get your man back on his feet.
Jesse: You're calling that help? He threw him right into the JYD.
...
Jesse: What's a manager for, Monsoon?
Gorilla: A manager's to give advice, not to physically get involved.
Jesse: You're starting to irritate me a little.

Vince McMahon: Heavyweight champion of the world in the locker room just one hour away from his moment of destiny.
Hulk Hogan: Well you know they said it was my last ride man! Yesterday when I finished hanging and banging. When I jumped on the Harley man. As I went thru the intersection. As I headed for the mountains, some of the nonbelievers in the gym said "See ya later Hulkster man! This is your last ride." It ate me alive brothers. When I felt the fury. As I ripped. As I tore this shirt, as I headed for the sunset man. I looked down brothers. And as the sun beamed off the gold in my eyes, I realized that sooner or later, you gotta live and die and you gotta face the truth. And for you Andre the Giant, it's time to face the truth brother. Because when I think about what you and I have to do man. What I have to do is nothing. All I have to do is merely beat a seven foot four 550 pound giant. But Andre, you've gotta face the truth brother. In its purest form man. The purest truth there is man. The training, saying your prayers, eating the vitamins. And to beat me man, You've got to beat every little Hulkamaniac, every little Hulkster in the world. Everyone that plays it straight. All the ones that don't take any shortcuts brother. And they usually say "If the dirty air don't get you, the politicians will." But in this case. It's going to be Hulkamania. And the reason it's going to get you man, it's the purest form of the truth there is. And I can't wait to see you go down at the feet of Hulkamania in front of 90,000 plus in the Silverdome. What you gonna do Andre The Giant when the real truth, the 24 inch pythons and Hulkamania runs wild on you?

[Bobby Heenan comes into the broadcast booth during the Rougeau Brothers/Dream Team match]
Gorilla: The weasel has just snuck into the broadcast booth. What are you doing here Heenan?
Jesse: Welcome to Wrestlemania III.
Bobby: Thank you Jesse. First of all, I'll speak at any place. I am two for two, Monsoon! Two for two! Billy Jerk did not beat my man! As far as I'm concerned...
Gorilla: Well, your man didn't win either.
Bobby: Just a minute, I'm talking 'cause I'm on a roll here! What happened was he knew he couldn't beat Hercules, so he kept him outside; as far as the Brain's concerned, that's a victory, we win that one! The King—you saw him in the chair, he left with the crown; the miserable Junkyard Dog, he bowed, he curtsied, he did everything we said he'd do! I am on a roll, I am 2-0
Jesse: Bobby, I'd just like to say—and I went on the record with this—I thought that was the biggest cheap shot I'd ever seen, when the JYD hit the King Harley Race with that chair.
Gorilla: Let me clear something up here a minute, Brain. You're one-for-three in my book—you didn't win the Hernandez match, King Kong Bundy lost.
Bobby: I wasn't out there for that match.
Gorilla: I don't care, he was still one of your men.
Bobby: I don't care about midgets. I don't even deal with midgets. I don't like midgets. Forget that match. Talk about my career! What I am doing. I'm making history here at Pontiac Silverdome. 2-0!

[after the Dream Team wins due to Dino Bravo's interference.]
Gorilla: I suppose you call that fair Brain.
Bobby: A win's a win. When you're at Wrestlemania, you take what you can get. It's not easy. They got a win. I got two wins and I'm going to have three wins today!
[Bravo and Johnny Valiant pull Greg Valentine out of the ring and leave Brutus Beefcake inside]
Gorilla: Look at this. Look at these three beauties, they left Bruti inside..
Howard: The winners of this contest, The Dream Team! Brutus Beefcake and Greg "The Hammer" Valentine!
Gorilla: Well Beefcake isn't celebrating the victory is he?
Bobby: Am I on a roll or am I on a roll?
Jesse: What's the matter with that idiot Beefcake? They got the win. What's he arguing about?
Gorilla: I don't know. A lot of disention among the ranks of the Dream Team for sure.
[Valiant, Bravo and Valentine get on the cart and leave]
Jesse: Hey they're leaving Beefcake!
Gorilla: Look at this! They're leaving Bruti behind.
Jesse: They're leaving him! I can't believe this. What's the matter with Beefcake? What's the matter with him? He gets the winner's money!
Gorilla: What's the matter with Johnny V and the rest of his crew? Why are they leaving this guy behind?
Jesse: I can't believe this. I can't believe Beefcake. He wins the match.
Gorilla: There they go. Special match upcoming. The adorable one, Adrian Adonis and Rowdy Roddy Piper. A lot of interesting things led up to this one.
Bobby: How am I doing Monsoon? Huh? How am I doing?
Gorilla: Horrible.

Howard Finkel: Ladies and gentlemen, at this time I would like to introduce to you a man who allegedly tells it like it is—Jesse "The Body" Ventura!
Jesse: Hey, what are you talkin' about, "allegedly" tells it like it is. I am the man who tells it like it is!

Mary Hart: Can we just clear one thing up? It's very important for everybody to understand that Jimmy and I are not related. At one time, I might have wanted to claim that, but since he has Danny on his team, and Danny is not exactly...I just wanna let everybody know that as much as I'd like to be rooting for the Hart Foundation, I just can't under the circumstances.

Mary Hart: We're going to have to rename Dynamite, Firecracker if he doesn't shape up now.

Gene Okerlund: With me at this time, manager Bobby "The Brain" Heenan, and I'm privileged to be standing next to the most extraordinary athlete of all time. He is not elected until this date to challenge Hulk Hogan for the Heavyweight Championship, and this afternoon at Wrestlemania III, Bobby Heenan, your man, André the Giant will be doing just that.
Bobby: You bet he's going to be doing just that. He's going to become the heavyweight champion of the world and I'll tell you why. First of all, the man is undefeated in over 15 years as a professional athlete. Hulk Hogan has never been in the ring or met a man bigger than him, stronger than him, taller than him, that weighs more than him, and with a burning will inside more than Andre the Giant. You see Hogan, few short hours from now that clock is ticking, and it's ticking in our direction, not yours. Hulkamania is over. Hulkamania is dead. The doors going to be shut on the history books on Hulk Hogan once and for all. There is a new Heavyweight Champion of the world. The odds on favorite in Las Vegas and all over the whole wrestling world, they're picking Andre the Giant. Nobody can defeat this man. Nobody even can come close to defeating this man. And Hogan, I know it's happening to you now because it's happening to me. The butterflies are in my stomach. The adrenaline's flowing thru my veins and I'm getting ready, 'cause I'm gonna manage the Heavyweight Champion of the world. And Hogan, hey you've had three good years. You've got nothing to look back on. But it's all over. Andre the Giant, the new heavyweight champion of the world.
Gene Okerlund: The biggest Heavyweight Title bout of all time. Andre the Giant to meet Hulk Hogan.

Gorilla: Jess, I wanna go on record of saying you were one of the guys—you and the weasel-breath Bobby "The Brain" Heenan—who said that this guy would never step back in the ring.
Jesse: Well, I'll go on the record, he surprised me. You know, they said he's got a lot of heart; but I personally say he's got a lot of throat, because it wasn't the heart that got hurt.

Jesse: [Randy Savage has sent Steamboat over the railing into the crowd] What's Dave Hebner doing? He should be counting Steamboat right here.
Gorilla: He's reprimanding the champion.
Jesse: [As George Steele is helping Steamboat back in the ring] Yeah, but he's giving Steamboat a chance to recover and he's letting Animal Steele out there. Now look at, you talked earlier on about how managers should not be touching people and helping people–look what's going on out there.
Gorilla: He's not a manager, he's a friend.
Jesse: Oh that's different then. He should've been counted out by Dave Hebner, the referee. I've already counted to 20.

Gorilla: [after Savage kicks Steamboat in the head] Oh, he put his head down. I don't blame him, he's probably exhausted.
[Savage runs at Steamboat, who backdrops him over the top rope]
Gorilla and Jesse: OH!!!
Gorilla: Backdropped right over the top.
Jesse: That should be a disqualification. That was an intentional throw over the top by Steamboat to save himself.
Gorilla: Just like the deliberate clothesline; I'd say they're even right now, Jess.
Jesse: I tell you, you got an answer for everything, Gorilla.
Gorilla: Well, that's why I'm here—to keep you in line.

[As Savage climbs to the top rope with the bell, Steele shoves him off]
Jesse: Flagrant interference from the outside.
Gorilla: The Animal pushed him right off. I think the bell rang Savage in the head, Jess. But the champ still in control... [Savage attempts to bodyslam Steamboat, who grabs the leg and rolls into a small package] No, small package by the Dragon.
[Hebner counts to three]
Jesse: No!
Gorilla: He got him! I don't believe it! History is made!
Jesse: You talk about a miscarriage of justice, Monsoon! Flagrant outside interference on the part of Animal Steele!
Gorilla: History made here in the Silverdome for WrestleMania III!
Howard: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this contest...and NEW Intercontinental Champion — Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat!
Gorilla: Standing ovation by this capacity crowd, Elizabeth was in tears, Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat the new Intercontinental Heavyweight Champion.
Jesse: Well, all I've got to say, Gorilla Monsoon, is that Steamboat'd better cut that belt in half and give half of it to George "The Animal" Steele, because without "Animal" Steele's flagrant interference, "Macho Man" Randy Savage would've won; he had Steamboat pinned for 30 or 40 seconds. Deny that.
Gorilla: But the referee was out of it, Jess. I'm not denying that fact.

Gorilla: I don't wanna hear the Honky Tonk Man sing.
Jesse: Really? You'd rather hear Alice sing?
Gorilla: Well, yeah, or anybody else, for that matter.

Jesse: I'd like to see Jimmy Hart get his hands on Alice Cooper.
Gorilla: Please, are you kidding? All 101 pounds of him.
Jesse: Hey, Alice don't weigh but about 112 and a quarter.
Gorilla: Yeah, but Alice's got snakes, Jess.

Gene Okerlund: Ladies and gentlemen, we all are part of history in the making, here this afternoon for WrestleMania III. I have come to the Silverdome, like you, to be part of this historic date: March 29, 1987. Thanks to our millions of fans all around the world, and a special thanks as we have established, all of us, a brand new indoor attendance record of 93,173—give yourselves a big hand!
[The audience cheers as the spotlights roam the arena]
Jesse: Wow!
Gorilla: 93,173 here in the Silverdome, Pontiac, Michigan. History has indeed been made.
Jesse: Bigger than the Rolling Stones.
Gorilla: You got that right.
Jesse: Broke the record that the Rolling Stones set in New Orleans. 93,173 — Gorilla, did they count you and I in that, or is it 175?
Gorilla: I don't think they counted you and I, Jess.
Jesse: Well then I think we should bump it up two more.

Gene Okerlund: Andre the Giant, just moments away from your stepping through the ropes and into the ring to meet Hulk Hogan in the biggest title match of all time. I want get your thoughts.
André: Gene, you see me now. And I'm going to the ring and believe me, it's not going to take me too long to come back right in front of the camera with the World Championship belt around my waist.
Gene Okerlund: Bobby?
Bobby: Oh I can feel it. Oh the adrenaline's going! This man right here is going to make me famous. He's going to become the Heavyweight Champion of the world, and I'm going to go down in the history books as the manager of the World's Heavyweight Champion. I'm ready. Hogan, you'd better be ready!

Gene Okerlund: Moments away from the biggest Heavyweight Title defense of this man ever. Hulk Hogan, you've got to be ready.
Hogan: Well you know, I hope Pontiac, Michigan, recovers man. I'm glad I snuck in early last night, brother. I didn't realize the interstates, the Pontiac Silverdome was in danger. Not the 90,000 plus on the inside. It's the 90,000 plus on the outside of the Silverdome. Those are the ones I'm worried about, because when I get my hands on that big nasty giant. When he faces the truth, when he feels the wrath of Hulkamania. The day the whole Earth is going to shake. What are those 90,000 plus Hulkamaniacs on the outside gonna think? I'm not worried about the people on the closed circuit. I'm not worried about the people all around the world. They'll see it! But the intensity of Hulkamania. The way it's turned this whole state upside down. The way the whole world's turned upside down. What are they gonna think when the giant hits the ground, he feels the wrath of Hulkamania and the whole world shakes at my feet?
Gene Okerlund: We could conceivably blow the roof off this great facility, the Silverdome.

Jesse: [said at every WrestleMania] I wanna say hi to Terry, Tyrel, and Jade in Minneapolis.

Bob Uecker: This is the main event of the evening. It is for the World Wrestling Federation championship. It is schedule for one fall with a one hour time limit. First, the challenger. Accompanied by his manager, Bobby "the Brain" Heenan. He hails from Grenoble in the French Alps, he weighs 520 pounds, Andre the Giant!
Gorilla: An awesome figure. The 7'5" figure of Andre the Giant who has literally been brainwashed by that man right there, Bobby "the Brain" Heenan.
Jesse: No, I disagree with you a little, Gorilla. The man has never had a championship title match. Don't you feel, in a 15-year illustrious career, that he should be granted one shot at the title?
Gorilla: Jess, the man never, #1, asked for a title match, and #2, never wanted a title match. To my knowledge.
Jesse: Never wanted it? Your knowledge is wrong, because right here he's got one, and he definitely asked for it—he ripped the shirt off the champion, as well as the crucifix. I figure that's a direct way of asking for it.
Gorilla: Yes, it certainly is, but all that came at the provocation of that guy right there with the white waiter's jacket on, Bobby "The Brain" Heenan.
Jesse: There he is—7'5", 525, neck 24, chest 71, biceps 21, hands 16, wrists 11 inches, forearms 17, thighs 36, calves 22.
Gorilla:: You could be looking at the next heavyweight champion of the world.
Jesse:: And I just gave you the tale of the tape!
Bob Uecker: And now his opponent. He is from Venice Beach, California. Weighing in at 294 pounds. He is the World Wrestling Federation Heavyweight champion, Hulk Hogan!
Gorilla: The roof of the Silverdome about to explode here! As the Hulkster greets and these 93,000 plus greet him. You're looking at the greatest professional athlete in the world today. The world's heavyweight champion.
Jesse: Well right now Gorilla, he may not be a few minutes from now. Let me run it down. Hogan—6'8", 294, neck 21, chest 58, biceps at a phenomenal 24 inches, forearms 18, wrists 9 inches, hands 13 and a half, thighs 30 and a half, calves 20, the tale of the tape!

Gorilla: Look at the stare of the champion against the challenger. The irresistible force meeting the immovable object.
Jesse: Look at the size of the Giant! I mean Hogan is 6'8"
Gorilla: Andre is 7'5"! The bell has gone, this one is officially underway. Look at the look of the disdain on the face of Andre.
Jesse: What's Hogan saying to him I wonder? What could Hogan possibly be saying to him?
Gorilla: Certainly like to be able to read lips at this point.
Jesse: He's almost, he's hulking up right now!
Gorilla: Shove by Andre and the champion retaliates. Oh, big right hand blocked by the champion and the Hulkster unloading! Going for a slam! Oh, he almost got him up. Oh, he collapsed! One, two. [Hulk kicks out] Two count only.
Jesse: Two count? Was that two or was that three?
Gorilla: Two count only.
Jesse: Ooh, that was close, Gorilla!
Gorilla: Shoulder was up.
Jesse: Oh, was that close. Andre thinks he's won it just like that. Hogan is hurt! Hogan went for a bodyslam early in the bout and he may have injured his back.
Gorilla: May have hurt that lower back area for sure with that extreme weight of Andre the Giant. Referee showing the timekeeper that it was a two count and the shoulder came up.

Gorilla: Look at this!
Jesse: HE SLAMMED HIM!
Gorilla: [overlapping]: HE SLAMMED THE GIANT!
Jesse: I DON'T BELIEVE IT! I DON'T BELIEVE IT!
Gorilla: Hulk dropping the big leg! Over for the cover! [Hulk pins Andre] IT'S OVER!
Jesse: HE GOT HIM! UNBELIEVABLE! I never thought it could be done Gorilla!
Gorilla: Neither did these 93,000 plus as the world's heavyweight champion, Hulk Hogan has proven to everyone what he's made of.
Jesse: What can I say? I never thought it could be done, Gorilla Monsoon.
Gorilla: He's thanking the guy upstairs Jess, as he always does. Let's get the official announcement.
Bob Uecker: The winner of the bout, and still World Wrestling Federation Heavyweight Champion — Hulk Hogan!!

WrestleMania IV (1988)[edit]

Jesse: You know Uecker, if Vanna White is great taste then she's less filling then.
Bob Uecker: Yes I'm really familiar with that.

Bob Uecker: [during the invitational battle royal] Dr. Frank Jobe would have a picnic at this thing.
Jesse: Hey, Uecker, know something?
Bob Uecker: Yeah, what?
Jesse: With your lifetime batting average of .200, that means with every swing, you could only hit one guy out of five.

Bob Uecker: Well, at least the guys that went out first got their per diem money.
Gorilla: Well...
Bob Uecker: You know what I mean?
Gorilla: Yes, I know.
Bob Uecker: It's the only way to go.
Gorilla: Please! I'm going to have trouble broadcasting with the Body and Uecker here.

Bob Uecker: [After Ken Patera eliminated Nikolai Volkoff, he gets Boris Zhukoff out as well] Hey U.S.A is in! Yes sir!
Jesse: [Bad News Brown eliminates Patera from behind] Yeah there went U.S.A., Uecker.

Jesse: That's kinda like talking to the third base coach before you lay down the bunt, Uecker. Then again, in your case, Ueck, you gotta make contact with the ball.

Robin Leach: [reading proclamation] "Whereas the World Wrestling Federation has experienced certain extraordinary circumstances concerning the Championship, and whereas the World Wrestling Federation sought to establish a fair and just way to diligently determine who should be the undisputed WWF Champion, and whereas WrestleMania IV has selected as the specific site to determine who will be the undisputed Champion by way of an elimination championship tournament, and whereas the top 14 competitors in the World Wrestling Federation have been selected and paired and are present in readiness to compete, I now proclaim that the championship tournament should begin." With champagne wishes and caviar dreams, may the best man win. I'm Robin Leach and I do know why.

Jesse: You know what'd be unique that just came to mind to me, Gorilla? Let's say if DiBiase advances here, and let's say Andre beats Hogan, that means that DiBiase and Andre would face each other...correct?
Gorilla: Not necessarily—if DiBiase's victorious here, he has to meet the winner of the Muraco-Bravo match.
Jesse: Right, but let's just say that DiBiase wins twice, it could end up Andre-DiBiase; what will happen?
Gorilla: Well, money will talk, I think, Jess.
Jesse: You think Andre'd step aside, or will DiBiase step aside and let Andre go forward, feeling he's the unbeatable man?
Gorilla: Well, it's possible, but he tried that before, and he knows that he can't get the belt without beating the champion.

Bob Uecker: For what you did to that dog, the ASPCKGBY ought to be on you forever.
Bobby: I don't have to take insults from you or anybody else. You talk about people writing in letters? You had over 700,000 votes to get into the Hall of Fame. You'd have had a lot more than that, but you ran out of stamps.

Jesse: What was your biggest weight that you wrestled at?
Gorilla: 440. Superheavyweight.
Jesse: 440. The heck did you eat when you weighed 440?
Gorilla: Just about everything...
Jesse: I know, you were on a see-food diet, right? You ate everything you saw.

Jesse: I know right where Vanna's at, but I just can't say my room number over the air.

Gorilla: It takes a man-and-a-half to do that.
Jesse: What, to sit out there and pose?

[Tito Santana hits Demolition Ax with his flying formarm.]

Jesse: Chico learned that move in the Mexican Football League. The MFL.

Bob Uecker: Introducing first: accompanied by himself...uh-uh—he's got the big boy with him, Andre the Giant. Here is the Million Dollar Man, Ted DiBiase.

WrestleMania V (1989)[edit]

[On the Twin Towers—Akeem and the Big Bossman]
Gorilla: Biggest tag team in professional wrestling today, bar none.
Jesse: Well, I won't argue with that unless you've got a double, Gorilla.

Gorilla: Million dollar champion? Who did he beat?
Jesse: I know who he beat. He beat the banker.

[During the match between Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake and Ted DiBiase
Gorilla: If you make a mistake in this league, it'll cost you the match.
Jesse: But not the Million Dollar Belt.
Gorilla: No, definitely not, because the guy wouldn't put it up.
Jesse: Yeah, but you know, you think about it Gorilla, what is Brutus putting up for collateral?
Gorilla: His reputation.
Jesse: Aw, that's worth about two cents.

Jesse: [on the Bushwhackers walk to the ring] Gorilla, I noticed you the other night walking through the casino looking like that.
Gorilla: Me?! Walking through it looking like that?
Jesse: Walking like that. Why is that?
Gorilla: Was I? Well, sometimes it happens. You know, you get caught...
Jesse: Were you hittin' the joy juice, Gorilla?
Gorilla: No, absolutely not.
Jesse: You know what that does to animals.
Gorilla: Yeah, no, I never partake.
Jesse: Here's two guys that look like they're on the joy juice. Some kind of juice.
Gorilla: I tell you what, in your day, Jess, they would've been tough for anybody because they're so unorthodox.
Jesse: What do you mean, in my day? When was I around, when Henry Ford built his first car?
Gorilla: No, but you were around when I was still in the squared circle and I've retired.
Jesse: No, no, no!
Gorilla: You don't think so. I remember it quite well.
Jesse: Look at this, they got poor Jimmy's coat, and these guys'd probably eat it. They probably didn't get enough to eat at brunch.

Jesse: You got to give Mr. Fuji credit. He ran that 5K run in a tux too.
Gorilla: Boy, has he got you to be a believer! He wasn't even sweating in the end! He obviously got onto one of those pushcarts on the boardwalk and had someone push him around for 2 3/4 miles.
Jesse: I can't believe the jealousy in you Monsoon. Fuji's out there training while you're throwing dice.

Gene Okerlund: Rick Martel, what kind of an explanation do you have for actions out there?! You left Tito Santana high and dry! You walked away from your tag team partner!
Rick Martel: Well, as far as I'm concerned, he just got what he deserved. I'm sick and tired of him, and I'm sick and tired of carrying him around. I was doing great when...ever since I've been in WWF as a singles wrestler, but no—Mr. Tito wants to ride my coattail once more. I'm sick and tired of him; I've been carrying him around too long already!
Gene Okerlund: Wait a minute, Martel, you're out of line. Strike Force was supposed to be a team! A team!
Rick Martel: I don't want to be associated with that guy, he's a loser! You saw his timing was way off. You're lucky that I'm big a gentleman that I am, I just walked off! I could've been a lot worse for you, Tito Santana. I'm tired, I'm fed up with you!

Brother Love: You know, brother Morton, I love you. But you see, that doesn't mean that I like you.
Morton Downey, Jr.: Let me tell you, Brother Love—any guy who wears a skirt, I don't want to love me.

Piper: You know, Brother Love, with them cute little knees like that, your hair all breezed back, that cute little flower there, and that tie, the only thing that bothers me is that your face is red. I don't know if that's high blood pressure, or you're just scared to death of me.
Brother Love: You can't scare me.
[Piper screams once, sending Brother Love back in a fright]
Piper: Well so far, we know he's a liar.

Piper: Is there anything about you at all that may be from Scotland?
Brother Love: I'm a little bit Scotch.
Piper: If you're a little bit Scotch, then— Scotch, did you say?
Brother Love: Yeah, Scotch.
Piper: Scotch is what a Scotsman drinks. Now if you are any part of you a Scotsman, then...under that skirt there...
Brother Love: This is a kilt.
Piper: No, no, this here's a kilt; that's a dress, baby.
Brother Love: That looks more like a dress.
[Starts to look under Piper's kilt]
Piper: I'll bite your face off if you do that. Tell me. If you are a real Scotsman, then you don't got nothin' under that kilt there, do you? Huh? No, I mean it! If you are a real Scotsman, there ain't a lick of thing under there. Excuse me, I should rephrase that. I don't mean he hasn't got anything under the kilt, I should say you're not wearing anything. We all know you ain't got nothin' under there!

Piper: Tell me something, Mr. Downey. You used to have all these nasty warts all over your face—big, nasty green ones. The only thing you could go out with was a guy who rang bells and would walk [with hunchback] oh, nice to see ya. What happened to the warts?
Morton Downey, Jr.: I gave them to a homeless warthog.
Piper: I didn't know your girlfriend was homeless.

[Following the premiere of the trailer of Hulk Hogan's movie No Holds Barred]
Gorilla: No Holds Barred. Holy Mackrel! Jesse, I believe the Hulkster's invading your territory.
Jesse: (outraged) How dare him step into Hollywood Gorilla Monsoon! Let me tell you something, Hulk Hogan. Hollywood is my domain. But I can see why you're doing it. You're doing it Hogan because you're going to lose to the Macho Man! And when you lose to him, you're going to have no job Hulk Hogan! So you're going to have to come out to Hollywood? Try to invade my territory? It ain't big enough for the both of us Hogan! But if you want to come out, I'll give Hogan a job in Hollywood, HE CAN DRIVE MY LIMO!!
Gorilla: Completely bent out of shape, Jesse Ventura. Talking about people infriging on his territory. Merely, the Hulkster's gone out and made a movie, the name of it, No Holds Barred. Boy, we've seen plenty of action so far here in Wrestlemania V. Of course, Demolition retaining their World Wrestling Federation tag team championship belts and did it in a really good fashion, putting away Mr. Fuji. (Jesse returns) You're having second thoughts? It was very unprofessional of you Jess to just storm out of here like that.
Jesse: I'm a professional Monsoon. They're paying me big money to be here. I'll earn it and don't you give me no hard time. I've had enough for now!

Jesse: I used to like broadcasting with you. You're getting worse than McMahon.
Gorilla: I am?

Gorilla: [on Sensational Sherri] She's comparing herself to Miss Elizabeth? Give me a break. The two shouldn't even be mentioned in the same sentence.
Jesse: One's a woman, and one's a girl.

Jesse: I had a manager in 1981, Classy Freddie Blassie.
Gorilla: Yeah, he took your career straight down the toilet.

Gorilla:(During a match between w:Bad News Brown and w:Hacksaw Jim Duggan) Bad News looking for some additional help in the form of a steel chair.

Howard: The referee has disqualified both men!

Gorilla: Why does he keep badmouthing Elizabeth, Jess? Why doesn't he leave her alone?
Jesse: She deserves it. She ought to be in his corner doing what she— hey, he took her to the top, Gorilla.
Gorilla: He also slapped her all around in the dressing room.
Jesse: Who the hell was Elizabeth before she got with Macho?!
Gorilla: She was his manager! How do you think he ever got a title shot?!
Jesse: Not from her!

Jesse: Oh he raked his eyes! I tell you, I don't know how the pukesters can cheer for this guy. He's as dirty as they get!

Jesse: If the Macho Man succesfully defends the title, finally, finally we'll have two champions that I like.
Gorilla: You're referring to Ravishing Rick Rude and the Macho Man?
Jesse: Absolutely. Those are champions kids can be proud of.

Jesse: [on Hulk Hogan] Right there you've got a guy who will stoop to any level, he'll stoop to any level to get what he wants.

WrestleMania VI (1990)[edit]

Gene Okerlund: I'm standing here with the World Wrestling Federation Tag Team Champions: the awesome force of the Colostomy Connect...
Bobby: Hey, hey, baldy, what did you call them?
Gene Okerlund: The Colossal Connection!
Bobby: No you didn't!
Gene Okerlund: What did I say?
Bobby: Never mind. But if you want to talk evacuation, fine. Because that's exactly where Demolition is headed.
Andre the Giant: Right.
Bobby: They're headed straight to the treatment plant. And gentlemen, we know how we're going to treat them, don't we?
Colossal Connection: We're going to eliminate them! [Andre laughs evilly]
Bobby: Come on! Let's get moving.
Gene Okerlund: All right! The Colossal Connection—they're anything but regular guys.

Gorilla: [as Earthquake poses] Reminded me of you in your younger days, Jess.
Jesse: Now, wait a minute. I had a little more definition than the Earthquake.

Jesse: Sean Connery was named "Sexiest Man in the World," and he has my hairstyle.
Gorilla: I know that.
Jesse: You know how I can't miss in Hollywood, Gorilla? I got Paul Newman's eyes, I got Kirk Douglas's chin, and Robert Duvall's haircut. How can I lose?
Gorilla: But what do you have of your own, Jess?
Jesse: [pause] ...And here comes Brutus.

Gorilla: Well, Tito can knock you out with that flying forearm if you know, Jess.
Jesse: Yeah, a burrito will do it, too.

Jesse: They said "with a combined weight of 465 lbs." You're telling me that Rhodes only weighs 200?!

Gorilla: Look at this, Sapphire coming around to save— standing right in front of "The Dream".
Jesse: Nail her, Macho! Jump right off on her!
Gorilla: I can't believe you just said that.
Jesse: Hey, she wants to play lumberjack, let her carry her end of the log!

Gene Okerlund: I find that you're tougher to get along with than a mother-in-law on a weekend visit to my house.
Bobby: Don't you concern yourself about getting along with me. I'm the easiest guy in the world to get along with; but when you're 540 lb., 7'4", and it takes two and a half hours for the blood to reach the brain, you don't think real right!
Gene Okerlund: Wait a minute, Bobby Heenan, where do you have the bal— the nerve to hit Andre the Giant in the face?
Bobby: I'll tell you where I got the nerve to hit Andre in the face. You take orders from me! I'm the head of the Family! You listen to me, you go to the top; you don't listen to me, you're never heard from again! You have just committed pal...........
Gene Okerlund: What are you at a loss for words now?
Bobby: No I'm not! We lost the championship! Because he stood on the apron, wouldn't get in the ring, wouldn't help Haku. Haku had to carry the load! I'm starting a new Heenan family. Ones that will listen to me...

[At the interview area]
Gene Okerlund: Hulk Hogan, the greatest World Wrestling Federation champion of all time. Here we are at Wrestlemania VI, the waiting's over, here comes the Ultimate Challenge.
Hogan: You know something Mean Gene, you don't have to remind me and my Hulkamaniacs that at Skydome we're gonna face the Ultimate Challenge, brother. When we crossed the border from the United States of America to Canada, I was hovering over Skydome, brother, I saw what was beneath me man. I saw the greatest arena of all times, where the Ultimate Challenge will take place... and as we landed, brother, nothing but stark-raving Hulkamaniacs were there to great me at the airport. Nothing but positive vibes, man. Hulkamania is running wild like it's never ran before! But the Ultimate Warrior, you must realize that when you step into Skydome, when you feel the energy that's gonna run wild throughout the arena, those are my people. That's my energy brother and Ultimate Warrior, [points to his hand] this is where the power lies, man. In the power of the Hulkster, the largest arms in the world, and once I get you down on your knees, Ultimate Warrior, I'm gonna ask you one question, brother. I'm gonna ask you: do you want to live forever? And if your answer is yes, Ultimate Warrior, then breathe you last breath into my body. I can save ya, my Hulkamaniacs can save ya. We can turn the darkness that you live in into the light. We can save all your little warriors with the training, the prayers, and the vitamins. But I gotta prove one thing to all my Hulkamaniacs out there — it's not whether you win or whether you lose, the only thing that matters is what kind of winner you are or what kind of loser you are, and Ultimate Warrior, I sure hope you're a good loser, brother. Whatcha ya gonna do at Skydome when the largest arms in the world and Hulkamania destroys you?
Gene Okerlund: Alright, the time is now. Hulkster, thank you; standing by is Sean Mooney.
[Cut to the locker room. There we see Sean Mooney with the Ultimate Warrior, who's pacing around the room.]
Sean Mooney: Thank you, Mean Gene. I'm with the reigning Intercontinental Champion, the...
Ultimate Warrior: [interrupting] Ahhhhh... You are nothing but a normal! You don't deserve to breathe the same air that I and Hulk Hogan do! [Throws Mooney out of the room] Hulk Hogan, I must ask you now as you asked me: do you, Hulk Hogan, want your ideas, your beliefs to live forever? For, Hulk Hogan, in this normal world, physically, none of us can live forever. But the places you have taken the Hulkamaniacs, the ideas and beliefs you have given them, can live through me, Hulk Hogan. That is why I breathe, that is why the Warriors have come. Hulk Hogan, there are ones that question where you are taking them. Do you no longer want to walk or step into that darkness? Hulk Hogan, the darkness I speak of is nothing of fear. It is about the beliefs... of accepting any and all challenges at the cost of losing everything, Hulk Hogan. You have lived, Hulk Hogan, for the last 5 WrestleManias for this one belief. Now, Hulk Hogan, I come to take what you believe in further than you ever could. I come, Hulk Hogan, not to destroy the Hulkamaniacs and Hulkamania. I come, Hulk Hogan, to bring the Warriors and Hulkamaniacs together as one as we, Hulk Hogan, accept all the challenges with all the strengths of the Warriors and the Hulkamaniacs together. Hulk Hogan, the colors of the Hulkamaniacs are coming through the pores of my skin... and Hulk Hogan... when we meet, Hulk Hogan, I will look at you and you will realize then that I have come to do no one no harm, but only, Hulk Hogan, to take what we both believe in to places it shall never have been!

Greg "The Hammer" Valentine: We're on our way to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
Steve Allen: Great, I'll call ahead and warn them you're coming.

Jesse: [on Hacksaw Jim Duggan] He just pushed the referee.
Gorilla: He did? I didn't see that.
Jesse: What?
Gorilla: I didn't see it, I was looking...
Jesse: What were you doing, filling your... Wait a minute...
Gorilla I was getting something...
Jesse Stuffing your face with a hot dog again?!
Gorilla: No, I didn't have any hot dogs.
Jesse: You've only had seven!
Gorilla: Bravo taking the upper hand now.
Jesse: You got mustard all over your lapels.
Gorilla: I do not!
Jesse: Look at you. You're a mess, Monsoon!

Jake "The Snake" Roberts: Well, well, the Million Dollar Man, Ted DiBiase. Here we are at WrestleMania, and it's the biggest match of your career. Why? Because everything you stand for is on the line, namely the Million Dollar Belt. Oh yeah, it can be yours once again. All you have to do to get it back is go through Damian and me. But you see, Damian and I don't forget. We remember all the times you made people grovel for your money. These were people far less fortunate than you, people who could use your money for essentials, and what did you do? You made fun of them. You humbled them and you humiliated them. Well, now it’s my turn. I’m going to make you beg, DiBiase. You are going to get down on your hands and knees. This time, you’ll be the one that’s humbled. This time, you’ll be the one that’s humiliated, and this time, you will be the one that grovels for the money. And how appropriate, that the money you grovel for is your very own—a victim of your own greed, wallowing in the muck of avarice.
Gene Okerlund: Longfellow couldn't have said it better.

Steve Allen: [on Superfly Jimmy Snuka] I'll tell you how ugly he is—at one time, a vampire flew into his bedroom, took one look at him, and bit the bedpost.

Steve Allen: I like Jimmy Snuka 'cause he's wearing my wife's underwear.

Jesse: Got him with the boot!
Gorilla: Oh, he nailed him! [Hulk Hogan sets up for the Leg Drop]
Jesse: Here it is!
Gorilla: He... [Hogan goes for the Leg Drop, but the Ultimate Warrior moves out of the way] Oh, he moved out of the way! [In the moment that Hogan is stunned, the Warrior bounces off the ropes and hits the splash] Look out, the big Splash! [counting along with the referee] One...
Jesse: Two...
Gorilla: ["Three"] He got him!
Jesse: HE GOT HIM!
Gorilla: Unbelievable!
Jesse: THE WARRIOR'S WON THE TITLE!
Gorilla: We have a new World Wrestling Federation Champion!
Howard Finkel: The winner of this bout, and NEW World Wrestling Federation Champion, the Ultimate Warrior! [As Finkel says this, a downcast Hogan looks to the heavens and hits his knees in anguish]
Gorilla: This place has gone crazy!
Jesse: UNBELIEVABLE, MONSOON! What a battle, both ways! Hogan missing the Leg Drop, the Warrior capitalizing on it, and getting the three-count just minuscule seconds before Hogan could kick out!

[Later, Hogan brings the WWF title into the ring]
Jesse: Look at the hushed silence going over the crowd.
Gorilla: They don't know what the Hulkster's going to do and neither do I. [Hogan presents the belt to the Warrior] Oh, look at this! Hulk presenting the belt and raising the hand of the Warrior! [The two men embrace in the ring] The Hulkster has just taken one giant step towards immortality!
Jesse: Well, I gotta say this! At least it wasn't a Mike Tyson-Don King type affair! The man lost it, and he's going out like a true champion, Monsoon!
Gorilla: Unbelievable Hulkster and unbelievable Warrior!
[Hogan walks to the cart to leave the ring area]
Jesse: I do believe Hulkamania will live forever!

WrestleMania VII (1991)[edit]

Jake "The Snake" Roberts: The blind leading the blind? Even a fool knows that a man only has five senses. But a snake? He has six. We always do it better in the dark.

Gorilla: Another headbutt by the phenom (Jimmy Snuka), slingshot - oh, nice, [Undertaker catches Snuka in mid-air] but look!
Bobby: Look at the strength of this man!
Gorilla: What a power move by The Undertaker. Never seen Superfly - oh - manhandled like this, look out! [He turns Snuka upside down] Tombstone city! [Undertaker hits the Tombstone] NO! [Undertaker folds Snuka's arms and covers him] It's all over, Brain.
Bobby: I don't believe it. That is "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka! [the referee counts three] That's impressive. RIP!
Howard Finkel: Here is your winner: the Undertaker.
Gorilla: What an impressive victory here in WrestleMania VII for that man, right there, the Undertaker.
Bobby: He's not even sweating.
[This will be the beginning of the greatest WrestleMania winning streak of all time by the Undertaker.]

Bobby: [referring to Rowdy Roddy Piper, who injured his leg in a motorcycle accident prior to this event] I've fallin' and I can't get up.
Gorilla: Why don't you stop!

Gorilla: [on Kōji Kitao] Kitao needs to make a tag to Tenryu.
Bobby: I think he should throw in the towel
Gorilla: What towel?
Bobby: Kitowel.
Gorilla: Kitao is the guy's name.
Bobby: Same to you.
Gorilla: You'd have trouble with his name if it was Fred.
Bobby: His name's Fred Kitao? Silly name for a Japanese wrestler, Fred.

Bobby: It's amazing that Lou Ferrigno can talk with 20 pounds of crackers in his mouth.
Gorilla: Will you stop?!!

Bobby: Here we are, humanoids, in sunny California — Los Angeles, to be exact. And you've probably been reading in the papers, and everyone's been seeing on TV, this is the home of the great LAPD, Los Angeles Police Department. And you've all seen what transpired out here, how some little ham-and-egger was hiding in the bushes with his little home video camera and he happened upon this incident and took the pictures of it. Well, I've got a treat for you, because you see, I'm gonna give it to you for zip. All you gotta do is get out that rented sofa with the spring sticking up, go over and push your VCR button on Play; we'll furnish the cameraman, and then you can see our brand of justice, the way Mr. Perfect is gonna dish it out to that Barney Fife, the Big Bossman.
Mr. Perfect: And I will guarantee you this, that you will not find Mr. Perfect giving the Big Bossman 56 free swipes at me, Bossman. Because I'm cool, I'm the Intercontinental Champion, I'm cool as a cat, Bossman. Most people in my position might be on edge, thinking they've gotta climb into the ring with a 300-pound maniac. Well, Big Bossman, I'm the champion — Intercontinental Champion. I have all the tools it takes to be a champion: I have Bobby "The Brain" Heenan in my corner, I have the right body, I have the right looks, the ability. I am what I say I am, and I say I'm... [turns around. On the back of his ring jacket it says "Perfect"]
Bobby: [listening to the viewers] They're saying it, they're saying it.
Mr. Perfect: [turns back around] There's only one, you're looking at him.

Regis Philbin: Uh-oh. [Sgt. Slaughter is handed the flag of Iraq.]
Gorilla: What's this?
Philbin: He's not going to plant that flag on the Hulk, is he? [he drapes it on Hulk Hogan and covers him] Oh no! Come on!
Gorilla: Give me a break here! [The referee counts, but Hogan kicks out at two] It's not over yet!
Philbin: YES! Come on, Hulk!
Bobby: He seizes the Iraqi flag!
Gorilla: [Hogan, on his knees, starts ripping up the flag] Hulkster tearing it to pieces. [Seeing Slaughter coming, he stops ripping the flag and begins to Hulk up] Slaughter comes in... oh, look at this!
Philbin: [talking over Gorilla's last sentence] Uh-oh! Here he comes.
Bobby: That man made a mistake, putting the flag on the Hulkster!
Philbin: Come on, Hulk, get up!
Gorilla: [Hogan rises to his feet and parades around shaking his hair] That adrenaline flowing right now! The Hulkster seeing the crimson red! [Hogan had been cut open earlier in the match.]
Philbin: AH! [Slaughter pounds him, but it has no effect on Hogan. Instead, Hogan points a finger at Slaughter]
Gorilla: Uh-oh!
Philbin: That's it.
Bobby: It could be it.
Philbin: Here comes the warning.
Gorilla: [As he says this, Hogan blocks Slaughter's right hand and pounds him with three roundhouses. Then he whips Slaughter in and plants the Big Boot] "You're not going to do that to me; you're not going to do that to the United States of America, and the thousands of Hulkamaniacs." Irish whip and the Big Boot!
Bobby: No! Not here, please!
Philbin: [Hogan bounces off the ropes and hits the Leg Drop] OH!
Gorilla: Hulkster off with the Leg Drop! The cover... [Hogan covers Slaughter and gets three] He got him!
Bobby: HE DID IT!
Philbin: What a comeback!
Bobby: He did it for the World Wrestling Federation, and for the United States of America!
Philbin: What a comeback!
Bobby: Did you hear me?
Gorilla: I certainly have! History once again made here at WrestleMania VII - an unprecedented three-time winner of the World Wrestling Federation title.
Howard Finkel: [speaking over Gorilla] The winner of this bout, and the NEW World Wrestling Federation Champion: Hulk Hogan!
Gorilla: Undoubtedly, the most memorable night in Pay-Per-View history, and you are part of it. WHOA!
Philbin: What a thrill to see this, Gorilla! Never seen anything like it. A great comeback! Fans are going crazy.
Gorilla: The gold once again around the waist of that incredible individual!

WrestleMania VIII (1992)[edit]

(Reba McEntire has just sung the national anthem)

Bobby: Boy, can Tito's sister belt one out!
Gorilla: Will you stop?!
Bobby: That's Arriba McIntyre!
Gorilla: It is not!

(Refering to Sherri)

Brain: That's my pin-up girl!
Gorilla: I think you should see your occulist!
Brain: There's nothing wrong with my feet.

[Again refering to Sherri (and Shawn Michaels)]

Brain: She is in love with that man
Gorilla: Yeah, but is the feeling mutual?
Brain: Pardon?
Gorilla: Is the feeling mutual?
Brain: Oh, what do you think, she's there, isn't she? He doesn't allow any bim.... uh woman to be there...
Gorilla: Bimbo? Did you say bimbo?
Brain: I didn't say that, I coughed. I said "Buimmmh".

Gorilla: (on Sherri) Who do you think does her make-up, Helen Keller?

Gorilla: Highly unlikely that you're gonna pin anybody with a side headlock. In all my years I've never seen anyone pinned with a side headlock.
Bobby: I've pinned a few people with it.
Gorilla: You???
Bobby: Yes.
Gorilla: Where? In your dreams???
Bobby: I can beat you...I can beat any man a million different ways. I had a guy give up one time during instructions.
Gorilla: Will you stop?!!

("Rowdy" Roddy Piper and Bret "The Hitman" Hart have a staredown in the ring)

Bobby: Two ugly people looking at each other. That's fun.

(On obtaining Roddy Piper's WWF Intercontinental Title)

Gorilla: What would you do if you were The Hitman?
Bobby: Well I'd have my agent buy it for me. And if that didn't work, I'd waffle him out back with a tire iron. I'd get it some way, any way I could.

Bobby: I remember when I was champion Monsoon.
Gorilla: Champion of what?
Bobby: The neighborhood! I had the prettiest date the whole block that month. Oh, you should have seen her.
Gorilla: The only gold you ever had was in your teeth!

(Piper is about to use the ringbell on Hart, but has second thoughts)

Bobby:USE IT!! USE IT!! Waffle him with it! You know the old saying, what the hell use the bell! Hit him! Give it to me, I'll hit him!

[When Roddy faced Bret for the IC title...after Piper showed some professional courtesy for Bret]
Bobby: You know that show of sportsmanship....the respect for each other, the enthusiasm they have....makes me sick!

Gorilla: Virgil, of course had his nose busted by Sid "insane" Justice.
Bobby: I thought he had plastic surgery. What an improvement.
Gorilla: Why don't you stop?

Bobby: Maybe Elizabeth can go on Love Connection and get a date. Then again I think she's been on that show.
Gorilla: Will you stop?!!

Brain: I'm Indiana's favorite Bobby. I could've gotten that high school team a win last night, not the guy they had running the ship.
Gorilla: You couldn't even carry Bobby Knight's towel.
Brain: Who?

Brain: I told you, Monsoon, I don't think you can hurt the Undertaker! You know, death never takes a holiday.
Gorilla: Why don't you stop?
Brain: These things just come to me. I feel like I got two brilliant minds.
Gorilla: Oh boy, I'm in trouble.

Gorilla: The strength coming from the urn, being held by Paul Bearer.
Brain: What is in that urn?
Gorilla: You're the guy that's supposed to find that out!
Brain: You're supposed to know.
Gorilla: You're a broadcast journalist.
Brain: Aren't YOU a broadcast journalist?

Gorilla: Tombstone City!
Brain: Oh, no!
Gorilla: This place has gone bananas!
Brain: I told you somebody is going to be hurt and its Jake "The Snake" Roberts. He broke his neck, Monsoon, I bet he broke his neck.
Gorilla: He wants him inside the ring.
Brain: He's out, he's cold, man, he is out, 1,2,3.
Gorilla: Holy mackerel.
Brain: I've never seen Jake the Snake defeated that severely as I seen him at the hands of the Undertaker.
Howard Finkel: Here is your winner, The Undertaker.
Gorilla: How on earth are you gonna stop this guy?
[The Undertaker improved to 2-0 at WrestleMania.]

[Referring to locations receiving WMVIII]
Brain: 30 countries?
Gorilla: Yes indeed
Brain: Spell em.

Bobby: I have a special announcement: Shawn Michaels has left the building.
Gorilla: Who cares?!
Bobby: I'll do it again, if you wanna hear it.

Bobby: You know, if you want to be fair to Flair, you've gotta be fair and say that's heckuva robe. Only a man as fair as Flair, would show up at Wrestlemania....
Gorilla: WILL YOU STOP?!

[After Bobby gets back from the locker room following the WWF Championship match]

Bobby: Monsoon, I just got back from talking with Ric Flair. I'm going to make a statement. I'm going to make it now. I'm going to make it clear and to the point. You saw it, I saw it, millions and millions of people saw it; Savage had a fistful of trunks when he used it to pin Ric Flair. Now, a lesser person would quit, they would scream, they would make excuses; we are going to regroup and we're going to get the title back. It's just a matter of time. If we're going to be upset; if we're going to act emotional; well then, we're going to defeat ourselves. We're going to look at this as a positive message, and we are going to go forward and we're going to take that title and we're going to take Mr Savage out eventually. It's just a matter of time and of conservation.
Gorilla: Yeah? And how many of you will it take to do that?
Bobby: It doesn't matter Monsoon, we'll get the job done.
Gorilla:Mr...Mr Perfect spent as much time in the ring as Ric Flair did!
Bobby: You discuss that with them. I'm a broadcast journalist...
Gorilla: You're a liar!
Bobby: I'm a financial advisor...
Gorilla: You're a liar!
Bobby: ...and I'm going to sit here and do my job like the gentlemen I am.
Gorilla: You're a liar!
Bobby: And if you don't like it, you can get outta here...
Gorilla: You're a liar!
Bobby: ...and take your microphone and your headset and you know what you can do with them (now getting hysterical) 'cause you're not going to get me upset!!
Gorilla: You are upset.
Bobby: You understand me?! You're not going to get me upset!
Gorilla: Don't jump, it's a long way down!
Bobby: Put 'em up! (Gorilla scoffs) Put 'em up!
Gorilla: Boy oh boy, the Brain has really lost it folks.

Bobby: Did you ever say hello to Tatanka?
Gorilla: Yes.
Bobby: Did you do it properly?
Gorilla: Yes....
Bobby: You said "Heyhowareya!" Heyhowareya!"

Sid Justice: See, we have a saying, and it goes like this: Do unto the man as he would do unto you...but do it first.

WrestleMania IX (1993)[edit]

Rick Steiner: We're gonna make Julius Caeser proud!

Bobby: I've never seen anybody thrown over the top rope like that and then waffled from behind by Afa's stick.
Randy: You forgot to mention that one of the Headshrinkers pulled down that top rope to help the situation out a little bit.
Bobby: I didn't see it.
Randy: I know you didn't, but I don't expect you to see it.
Bobby: Excuse me! You've got on sunglasses and a hat pulled down. How could you see it?
Jim: I saw it too Bobby, and I'm not wearing sunglasses.
Bobby: Yeah, but you're from Oklahoma.
Jim: What does that got to do with it?
Bobby: You don't know anything!
Randy: He's got a built in excuse for everything.

Jim: Here's a cover by Luger, 1, 2, and Luger's feet were on the ropes, good call.
Randy: Yeah good call.
Bobby: (sarcastically) Good call. That's great. Really good. Good Call.
Randy: That's Heenan's voice. I bet you can't tell that.

Howard: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner as a result of a disqualification: The Undertaker!
Bobby: Oh come on! For what?
(Undertaker improves to 3-0 at Wrestlemania.)

Mean Gene: I can't think of a better individual who can share with us his perspective regarding just who is gonna be the new World Wrestling Federation Champion. Four-time Champion himself, Hulk Ho... [seeing Hulk's black eye] You know, Ted DiBiase said something about it. What in the world happened?
Hulk: Well, you know something, Mean Gene? I just left the WWF Champion's dressing room, Bret "The Hitman" Hart, and the one thought I wanted to leave him with was that all the Hulkamaniacs and Hulk Hogan are in his corner. But you know, the last couple months, these seem to be the times when people do step over the line. First off, with my bionic brother Brutus. And then last night leaving the gym here in Vegas, I guess money can buy certain liberties around this town. They took it out on the Hulkster, brother. But all the little Hulkamaniacs pushed me towards the ring.
You know, Bret Hart, a little warning to the wise, brother. You're a brother, you're a Hulkamaniac, and since so many people are stepping over the line, I want you to watch this Yokozuna and Mr. Fuji like a cat, brother; I want you to watch every move; and I also want you to know, brother, that me and all my Hulkamaniacs are on your side.
But as I looked into the eyes of Bret Hart just a few minutes ago, Mean Gene, I know the power of Hulkamania, I know the greatness of Hulkamania, and as I looked into Bret Hart's eyes, I even questioned Hulkamania's own greatness. That's why right now, Bret Hart, I'm issuing a challenge to either you or the Jap, brother! Whoever wins that WWF Title, I want the first shot at it. But let me tell you something, Mean Gene. With me, all my Hulkamaniacs, and the attitude that Bret Hart has, I guarantee you, dude, the WWF Title is staying right here in the WWF, right here in the US of A. And what you gonna do?!

WrestleMania X (1994)[edit]

Jerry "The King" Lawler: Was that Little Richard singing or was his underwear too tight?

Jerry: I heard Mabel was baptised at Sea World.

Jerry: You have to pin Mo. Because Mabel is so fat, You try to cover him and your ears pop.

[Mr. Fuji hits Randy Savage with the flagpole]
Vince: Oh no! Did you see that?
Jerry: No I was looking at the president.

Todd Pettengill: Obviously, Yokozuna is still the Champion, but he was down, laying in that ring. You gotta admit that.
Jim Cornette: Who's got the belt? Who's still the Champion? That's all you need to know, Petting Zoo! Let me tell you something right now! Lex Luger, you thought you had everything well in hand, just like a purring kitten. But you found out, in the immortal words of the great poet and philosopher Ian Anderson, "he who made kittens, put snakes in the grass."
And I thought Mr. Perfect did a wonderful job officiating. I thought he was fair and square and right down the middle. Remember, the special referees were agreed upon by both parties, Luger.
Now as to Bret Hart, let me explain something to you, punk! It's no longer a question of whether you're gonna come out of this match with the World Wrestling Federation Title. No, it's a question of whether you're gonna come out of this match with your health, your body, and your career intact. Because you've gotta get in that ring, Bret Hart, and you've gotta think to yourself, you've gotta have the pain, the agony, the degradation, the humiliation of being beaten by your own brother on worldwide pay-per-view, all that running through your mind. And you've gotta have the pain of that knee—don't think we didn't notice it—the pain of that knee that you injured—who knows how badly—coursing through your body, affecting your judgment, clouding your instincts.
So Bret Hart, you are going to have to come to terms with, you are going to have to deal with the fact that it's no longer a matter of you trying to win the title; it's a matter of you trying to keep yourself in one piece when you climb in the ring and you look into the eyes of the monster: the most powerful, the most intimidating, the most dominant force that's ever existed in wrestling history - the Great, Mighty Yokozuna, still the World Wrestling Federation Champion.
So Bret Hart, you talk about waking a sleeping giant? He's not only awake; but he's mad, he's enraged, he's furious, and he's hungry! He's hungry and he wants to be fed! And Bret Hart, he's going be the shark, the wrestling ring's gonna be the ocean, and you, Bret Hart, are going to be the blood poured into the water that kicks off the feeding frenzy! He's going to chew you up and spit you out, Hart! And your career may be over at the biggest WrestleMania of all-time. I can't wait to see it happen!
Yokozuna: BANZAI!

[Razor Ramon walks under a ladder as he comes to the ring for his ladder match]
Vince: Did you see what he just did?
Jerry: That's bad luck!
Vince: Well, you can bet he did it for a reason-
Jerry: Yeah! He's stupid!

Jerry: Would you walk under a ladder, McMahon? Would you break a mirror? Well, with your face you might break a mirror...

Vince: [as Yokozuna prepares a Banzai Drop on Bret Hart] Yokozuna's going up. Bret Hart is not moving. [Yokozuna loses his balance and falls off the rope, Hart getting away just in time] Wait a minute, he's losing his balance! He just lost his balance on the rope!
Jerry: What?! He's hit his head!
Vince: [Bret crawls to Yokozuna and covers him as Piper counts] 1, 2, 3!
Jerry: No! No! No way!
[Piper puts the belt on Bret and points down]
Vince: We have a new champion!
Jerry: No way!
Vince: Yokozuna can't believe it.
Burt Reynolds: The winner of the bout and new World Wrestling Federation Champion: Bret "The Hitman" Hart!

Vince: They have seen a new World Wrestling Federation Champion crowned!
Jerry: No!
Vince: We are witnessing, ladies and gentlemen, a brand new era! We are witnessing the blastoff of the next decade in the World Wrestling Federation!

WrestleMania XI (1995)[edit]

[Bam Bam Bigelow has Lawrence Taylor in a Boston Crab]

Jerry: A Boston Crab on a New York Giant. I love it!

WrestleMania XII (1996)[edit]

Diesel: I'm the shit, man! I'm telling ya!

Vince: Shawn Michaels won five Slammy Awards last night.
Jerry: I heard he dedicated one of those Slammys to Jose Lothario.
Vince: That's right.
Jerry: I bet you'll probally see it in a pawn shop in Tijuana tomorrow.

[Explaining the rules of the Ironman match]

Earl Hebner: Gentlemen, this match is for the World Wrestling Federation Championship. This is an Iron Man match. You will be wrestling for 60 minutes.
Vince: Wow.
Hebner: The man who wins the most decisions will be declared the winner and the World Wrestling Federation Champion.
Vince: Hitman's cool.
Hebner: A decision can be earned by a pinfall, a submission, a countout, or a disqualification. You MUST... must break on the count of 4; I will disqualify you on the count of 5. If you leave the ring, or if you're thrown out, you have a 10-count to return, or you'll be counted out. Do you gentlemen both understand the rules?
Vince: [Bret Hart winks at someone, then both nod their heads] Oh, the Hitman, ever confident.
Hebner: Are there any questions?
Vince: [Both shake their heads "no"] No questions from either individual.
Hebner: Good luck to both of you.

Vince: It's not over! This capacity crowd buzzing. They've never seen anything quite like this, and you would only see it in the WWF... [Shawn Michaels loads up his boot...] Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Michaels steps - [and hits Sweet Chin Music on Bret Hart] he got it! He got all of it! Michaels got ALL OF IT! [Michaels pins Hart] MICHAELS WITH A COVER! [counting along with Earl Hebner] ONE, TWO, YES!
Jerry: No!
Howard Finkel: Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this bout, and NEW World Wrestling Federation Champion: "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels!

Vince: [moments later, as Shawn is awarded the WWF title] The boyhood dream has come true for Shawn Michaels.

WrestleMania 13 (1997)[edit]

Jim: Phineas Godwinn, the Jethro Bodine of the WWF.
Jerry: I call him the highly paid dumb guy.

[About Bret Hart]
Vince: Here's a man who's had a great legacy. But that legacy has taken a real turn.
Jerry: I know he took you for a turn when he shoved you on your keister.
Vince: Yes and I didn't appreciate it one bit. I think Bret was out of line for doing that. As well as all the obscenities that he uttered on live television. There's no excuse for that no matter how many times this man so called has been screwed.
Jerry: Well you called him a son of a...

Vince: If Bret Hart loses this match, you wonder what he's gonna come up with as an excuse, because he'll have one in my view.
Jerry: Who, Bret Hart? Sure he will! He's a whiner.
Vince: Well, it's what it seems that... his sort of mind is of late, and that's too bad.

Jerry: Bret Hart can twist Stone Cold's leg until it looks like the Chicago White Sox' Robin Ventura. It can be turned around backwards, and Stone Cold is still not gonna give up.

[After Steve Austin attempted to apply the Sharpshooter to Bret Hart.]
Jerry: Wouldn't that have been the greatest of all time to have to submit to the sharpshooter?
Vince: It could happen, it's just that painful. Bret Hart really knows how to put it on. Stone Cold Steve Austin may put it on Bret Hart as well.
Jerry: Well, Owen taught it to both of them; he's the master of it.

[Bret Hart has Steve Austin in the Sharpshooter]
Vince: Who would blame Stone Cold if he gave up?
Ken Shamrock: [as Austin screams with blood pouring over his face] Say the word, Steve!
Vince: The blood pouring from the forehead of Stone Cold Steve Austin. He continues to resist, continues to resist the pain.
Jim Ross: These people are standing! Can you imagine the pain rushing through Austin's body?!
Jerry: Look at the blood spurting from his temple.
Ken: Steve, answer me!
Jim Ross: Austin's losing blood, Austin may be losing consciousness. [Austin starts pushing himself up] Austin trying to get one more rush of adrenaline!
Vince: Austin trying to power out! It's not a pretty sight! Stone Cold Stone Austin!
Jerry: [Austin is almost all the way up] Impossible! He's doing the impossible!
Jim Ross: Nobody's ever done this! Nobody's ever broken.
[Austin manages to topple Bret over, but Bret holds on]
Vince: Austin did it!
Jim Ross: Austin broke the Sharpshooter! Or did he?!
Vince: [as Bret sits back into it] No, Bret still has it on! I thought for sure he broke it. Austin trying to reach that rope! Reaching for the rope. Austin will not surrender, he will not submit!
Jim Ross: Bret Hart has beaten every Superstar with this move. How in the hell Austin has not given up, I can't understand!
Ken: Steve, do you give up?! If you remain still, I'll stop the fight!
[Austin has passed out. Shamrock tells Bret to release the hold.]
Vince: Ken Shamrock stopping it, stopping it right now! That's it! Stone Cold Steve Austin passed out!
Jim Ross: Austin is unconscious! Austin never gave up! Austin never gave up, but he passed out from the pain! Austin is out!
Vince: And Bret "The Hitman" Hart has defeated one of the gutsiest individuals ever in the World Wrestling Federation.
Howard: As a result of Stone Cold Steve Austin losing consciousness, the winner of this bout: Bret "Hitman" Hart!
Vince: [cont'd] I can tell ya, I've never seen a display of intestinal fortitude like we saw in Stone Cold Steve Austin, who is still unconscious, and quite frankly, needs medical attention right now.
Jim Ross: Boy, that has got to be a tough act to follow, I'll tell you that.

[At the start of the Undertaker/Sid title match. Bret Hart makes his way to the ring.]
Shawn: [doing guest commentary] Oh, Bret very resentful of not being in the main event or being the man. I find that hard to believe. Well he did his best against Steve Austin but just couldn't get it done.
Bret: [grabbing a mic] Hey Shawn Michaels! First of all you phony little faker, why don't you go take your little pussy foot injury?
Vince: [holding Shawn back] All right, knock it off!
Shawn: It's ok. I'm not going anywhere.
Bret: And go back to the dressing room and find your smile. But whatever you do, stay out of this match!
Shawn: I'm so scared!
Bret: [To the Undertaker] And as for you, I just want you to know. That when you slammed that door on my head, you slammed the door on our friendship. And from here on in it's a new set of rules between you and me.
Shawn: Your friendship? Oh I can't remember the last time Bret was anybody's friend.
Bret: [To Sid] And you! You know, and I know, and every single person in this building
Shawn: Knows that he's a crybaby.
Bret: all know one thing. Is that the World Wrestling Federation title belt belongs to me! And you are a fraud!
Vince: Well it looks like Bret...
Bret: That belt will never belong to you because I am the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be!
[Sid punches Bret]
Vince: Oh! Sycho Sid. Wait a minute!
Shawn: And now you're getting beat up because of your big mouth.
[Sid gives Bret a powerbomb]
Jim: Powerbomb! Bret Hart has experienced the powerbomb one more time! And after that submission match, that's going to put him in a bad way.
Sid: [Grabbing the mic] Now you take your whiny little ass out of here!
Shawn: Yeah! Alright!

WrestleMania XIV (1998)[edit]

[The ending of the European Championship match involving Triple H and Owen Hart]
Jim Ross: Oh, LOW BLOW!!!
Jerry Lawler: Man, oh man.
Jim: Chyna caught Owen with a low blow.
Jerry: Pedigree, whoa!
Jim: [Triple H hits the Pedigree on Owen] Pedigree!
Jerry: WOO-HOO! Yes!
Jim: [counting along with the referee] 1,2,3, that's it.
Jerry: Brilliant!

Jeff Jarrett: Gennifer, honey, I've just got one question for you tonight at WrestleMania XIV—ain't I great?
Gennifer Flowers: Honey, I've...been with greats, and you are great.

Road Dogg Jesse James: Well, well, well, the gang's all here. Matter of fact, they're sitting right up there. You know, they call you "hardcore legends." Well, everybody knows that outlaws make legends, so when we're done beating the hell outta you, just what will that make us? Boston, if this is for the weak at heart, please turn your head, Terry Funk.

[During the match between the New Age Outlaws and Cactus Jack & Chainsaw Charlie]
Jim Ross: We said earlier there'd be no finesse. Hell, there's more finesse in Muskogee on Saturday night on payday weekend.

[Pete Rose is the guest ring announcer in Boston]
Pete Rose: Hey! Last time I was here, we kicked your ass!
Jim: That's a good way to make friends there Pete.
Pete Rose: You can't win a World Series! My buddy Bucky Dent says hello! You know, I left tickets for Bill Buckner, but he couldn't bend over to pick them up. How 'bout it? They call it "the Curse of the Bambino" right here, the city of losers!
Jim: Easy. King, did you prep Pete Rose?
Jerry: Well, we did have a couple of photos made before the match.

Jim: Austin back up somehow... [Shawn Michaels attempts Sweet Chin Music, but Stone Cold Steve Austin ducks and attempts the Stunner] Oh, Austin dumped him. Austin going for the Stunner, and Michaels counters. [Michaels attempts Sweet Chin Music again but Austin blocks...] Michaels going for another kick. Austin... [...and hits the Stunner] HE GOT IT, THE STUNNER! Mike Tyson in! [Mike Tyson enters the ring and does a fast 3-count] AUSTIN IS THE CHAMPION! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD!
Howard Finkel: The winner of this bout, and NEW World Wrestling Federation Champion: Stone Cold Steve Austin!
Jerry: [over Finkel's announcement] Wait a minute! WHAT? Tyson has double-crossed DX! It's a double-cross!
Jim: The Austin Era has begun! Stone Cold's eight-year journey has been culminated with WWF gold!

Jim: [after seeing Mike Tyson knock out Shawn Michaels with a right hand] OH A RIGHT HAND! TYSON! TYSON! TYSON! RIGHT HAND! DOWN GOES MICHAELS!

WrestleMania XV (1999)[edit]

Michael Cole: Wait a minute, wait a minute, no!!!
Jerry: What?!
Michael Cole: No, Pedigree, Triple H has turned his back on X-Pac, Triple H is putting on Shane.
Jerry: What?!
Michael Cole: Shane McMahon has retained the title. No! What the hell is going on?
Jerry: I don't know.
Howard Finkel: The winner of this bout and still World Wrestling Federation European Champion, Shane McMahon!
[after seeing Triple H leaving D-Generation X to join the Corpration.]

WrestleMania 2000[edit]

Jerry: Oh, boy!
Trish Stratus: Let's go boys, time to show WrestleMania some T & A. (while she was leading T & A into action).

Christian: We beat the Hardy Boyz. We beat the Dudley Boyz. We accomplished a life long goal. And that was to win these titles. But not without immense pain. And believe me when I say I’d go through it all again tomorrow if we have to, to keep these things.

Chris Jericho: And I can guarantee that Kirk Angel and Mr Roboto are gonna walk out of this match with bumps and bruises and a t-shirt that reads ‘I visited Anaheim and all I got was this lousy t-shirt and a Y2J beating that I will never eeeeeeeever forget again’.

Road Dogg: Anaheim, California, welcome to the Dogg House!
The D-O-Double-G and X-Pac in Californ-I-A
Wishin "Happy Birthday" to my boy Dustin J
Lookin' at the Presidential, it's about that time
For us to get stinky like some bud that's kine
Now then, two tears in a bucket
And if you ain't down with that, we got two words for ya!
Crowd: SUCK IT!

WrestleMania X-Seven (2001)[edit]

Jim Ross: Right to Censor, led by Steven Richards, certainly an extremist group from where I sit. They believe people should live their lives in one way: that's the RTC way.
Paul Heyman: Personally, I would appreciate it if you'd use the word "extreme" in a much better context. I don't find them to be extremists, I find them to be hypocrites. They're censors, and even I have never liked a censor that I ever met.

Paul: Why would anyone be proud of coming from the state of Texas?
Jim Ross: What do you mean by that?
Paul: Well, if there was a back door at the Alamo, Texas would be in Mexico.

Jeff Hardy: There's always danger when it comes to the Hardy Boyz because we give it our all every night man, we put our bodies on the line all the time. And TLC matches are very dangerous and you're right, there's alot of elements of danger in these matches and all we got to say is, I mean, I'm going into this match like it's my last.

Jim Ross: [After Stone Cold sided with Vince McMahon] What the hell?!? Son of a bitch! Son of a bitch, I don't believe this! Steve Austin's drinking a damn beer with Mr. McMahon! Stone Cold has sold his soul to Satan himself to win the WWF title! WHY, STEVE? WHY THIS WAY?!?

WrestleMania X8 (2002)[edit]

Jerry: We'll never see Tyson and Ali, we'll never see Babe Ruth and Barry Bonds, but we are gonna get to witness the Rock and the Hulk.

WrestleMania XIX (2003)[edit]

Vince: I created Hulkamania, and by God, at Wrestlemania...I'M GONNA KILL IT!!!!!!!!!

[Chris Jericho is setting up for a Sweet Chin Music on Shawn Michaels]
Jerry: No wait a minute-!
Jim Ross: ...no you don’t, you kidding me!
Jerry: No, would I kidding? Yeah believe your eyes, you’re seeing it.
Jim Ross: There's impersonation, the most sincere form of flattery.
Jerry: Well, not when you can do it better than the original. Sweet Chin Music!

Coach: Rock, how excited are you? It's WrestleMania, over 54,000 people...
The Rock: People? The people? The same people who booed the Rock at last year's WrestleMania? The same people who booed the Rock when he sang and gave the concert of a lifetime? The same people who chant "Sell-Out" to the Rock? Oh, the Rock is a sell-out. The Rock has sold out this and every WrestleMania he's ever been in. You see, Coach...you see, Coach, these people hurt me. They hurt the People's Champ, so tonight, the Rock could care less about the people. You see, Coach, the Rock is here for one reason, and one reason only, and that is to fulfill his destiny—fulfill my destiny, and that is to beat Stone Cold Steve Austin right in the middle of the ring at WrestleMania: 1...2...3. This is the Holy Grail, the one thing that the Rock has never done, the one thing I've never done. It consumes me, it eats me alive! Coach, this night, the biggest night of my life, this is everything to the Rock—everything. Oh yeah, for the past two occasions, Stone Cold Steve Austin has beaten the Rock right in the middle of the ring, right in the middle of that ring, 1 2 3, he's beaten the Rock. But if there's one thing that Hollywood has taught me, that's Act 1 and Act 2, they don't matter. The only thing that matters, everyone remembers Act 3. The end, the climax, the grand finale, this is the last chapter to the greatest rivalry this industry has ever seen. When Stone Cold Steve Austin goes one-on-one with the Jabroni-beatin', l-l-l-l-ow! pie-eatin', not afraid to sweat, not afraid to bleed, gonna beat that bald-headed bastard, guaran-damn-teed! And then, Coach, the Rock would have done it all. Finally... finally.

[On Booker T]
Jerry: Maybe he's having a flashback to his time behind bars.
Jim Ross: Why don't you get off that horse. You have ridden it to the godda- to the ground King. To the ground!
Jerry: Easy JR easy!

[After Booker T knocks down an interfering Ric Flair]
Jerry: This is very disrespectful on the part of Booker T.
Jim Ross: Flair has no business up here dammit! No business!

WrestleMania XX (2004)[edit]

John Cena: You've got the franchise player on the Superbowl stage
So get that gorilla Big Show out of his cage
Ain't no way that I'm gonna lose to that King Kong rip-off
That's like Gary Coleman beating Patrick Ewing in a tip-off
Big Show's really an ape with posable thumbs
And he stuffs his singlet, looks like he's smuggling plums
Everybody knows that he can't see me
I'm itching to beat him like a penis with a STD
I'm not even wrestling the Big Show, this whole things a charade
My match is with the hippo float from the Macy's parade
So its time to get a championship to match these custom knucks
Madison Square chant it loud baby, Big Show sucks.

Paul Bearer: [to Kane before The Undertaker made his entrance] Son! You're no son of mine!

Jim Ross: [after Chris Benoit won the World Heavyweight Championship] Chris Benoit's 18-year odyssey has culminated with gold!!!

WrestleMania 21 (2005)[edit]

[During the Money in the Bank Ladder Match, Chris Benoit at the top of the ladder reaching for the briefcase]
Jim Ross: Benoit's gonna win this thing, King. He deserves it after what he's gone through.
Jerry: I gotta agree with you now. Benoit does deserve this.
[Edge nails Benoit in the arm with a chair, sending him off the ladder]
Jim Ross: Into the arm! Edge hit Benoit in the injured arm! And the opportunistic Edge! [Edge climbs the ladder] Don't tell me Edge is gonna win this thing! No, come on!
Jerry: Look!
Jim Ross: Somebody get in there!
Jerry: He's there! Edge is there! He's teetering... [Edge unhooks the briefcase] but he's got it! Oh, my God, Edge has done it!
Jim Ross: Edge has won the match!
Howard: Here is your winner: Edge!
Jerry: That chair shot, that vicious chair shot on Benoit's bad arm!
[Edge runs back, hugging the briefcase]
Jim Ross: Benoit was one step away from winning this Money in the Bank ladder match! One step away, King!
Jerry: But I gotta say, if Benoit didn't do it, if anybody deserved to win this match, Edge did. Edge deserved it. Look at that look of satisfaction on his face.
Jim Ross: Well, I figure 20,193 here in Hollywood that might not agree with you. Edge, in any event, can wrestle the world's heavyweight champion, whomever that may be, anytime he chooses within the next twelve months.

Muhammad Hassan (speaking slowly): "Do you... have any i-de-a... why I'm angry?"
Eugene: "You don't like midgets?"

WrestleMania 22 (2006)[edit]

Randy Orton: [to 'Mean' Gene Okerlund] So let me get this right? You get into the Hall of Fame just for holding a mic for 35 years?

Ted DiBiase: [Eugene is bouncing a basketball backstage] 95, 96, 97, 98... [DiBiase kicks the ball away from Eugene] Ahh, Eugene! So close, but you don't get the money! HAHAHAHAHA! [turns to Booker T, who with Sharmell is preparing for his handicap match with the Boogeyman] Hey Booker, do you want to make a thousand bucks?
Booker T: Hell no, I don't want to make a thousand bucks!
Ted DiBiase: Everybody's got a price for the Million Dollar Man! HAHAHAHAHA!

Jim Ross Trish looking for Stratusfaction here.
[Mickie grabs Trish's crotch, causing her to instinctively let go]
Jerry: Woah, wait a minute!
[Mickie licks up her hand, ending between her fingers]
Jim Ross: What the heck?
...
Jim Ross: Mickie James trying to take Trish mentally right out of her game after physically trying to take that left leg away.
Jerry: Took me mentally right out of my game, I'll tell you that.

Jim Ross: The nutjob has won the title!
Lilian: Here is your winner and the NEW WWE Women's Champion: Mickie James!
Jerry: The inmate's gonna be running the asylum!
Jim Ross: I think there's some fans here that got a hall pass from the home. They're actually cheering this psychotic woman.

Tazz: Springboard! Whoa! My God!
Michael Cole: Springboard, into a cover!
Tazz: [counting along with Charles Robinson] ONE, TWO, THREE!
Michael Cole: HE GOT HIM! HE GOT HIM! HE GOT HIM! OH MY! MYSTERIO WINS THE TITLE!
Tony Chimel: Here is your winner, and the NEW World Heavyweight Champion, Rey Mysterio!
Michael Cole: Ladies and gentlemen, dreams do come true!
Tazz: It's WrestleMania, Cole. You're damn skippy dreams come true! Rey Mysterio's the new champ!
Michael Cole: At 15 years old, Rey Mysterio began wrestling in a small church in Mexico. 16 years later, his journey culminates, winning the Championship on the grandest stage of all, WrestleMania!
Tazz: Oh, my God! What a match we've witnessed, Cole! I'll tell you what, major big ups to Kurt Angle and Randy Orton, and congratulations to that man, right there, Rey Mysterio... And you know the late, great Eddie Guerrero, Cole, is looking down upon Rey, and he's so proud of his "amigo", man. God, I'm so happy for Rey, man!
Michael Cole: Rey Mysterio showing tonight, ladies and gentlemen, that if you dream hard enough, and if you work hard enough, and if you bust your ass night in and night out, dreams will indeed come true. Rey Mysterio is the World Heavyweight Champion!

WrestleMania 23 (2007)[edit]

Jerry: One thing's for sure - we're gonna have ourselves a bald Billionare.

WrestleMania XXIV (2008)[edit]

Jim Ross: Welcome to WrestleMania 24!

Mike Adamle: Joining me right now, 16-time World Heavyweight Champion, the "Nature Boy" Ric Flair. Ric...
Ric Flair: WHOOO!
Adamle: Ric, tonight it could all come to an end. A career-threatening match on the biggest stage in sports-entertainment against the guy they call "Mr. WrestleMania", Shawn Michaels. With so much to lose, with a 35-year career perhaps on the line, what's your game plan?
Flair: My game plan? To be the MAN... WHOOO!

Shawn Michaels: [to Ric Flair before hitting Sweet Chin Music on him, ending the match and sending Flair into retirement] I'm sorry. I love you.

Todd Grisham: Edge, a lot of history could happen tonight at WrestleMania.
Edge: You know, Todd, we saw a career end. We've seen history made tonight already, but more importantly, we'll see history made later on tonight. But I want to set a stage for you. I want to take you back, because I've been thinking back a lot lately, back to when I was a little kid. Back to when I was sitting in the audience at WrestleMania VI. Man, I was so excited. I was watching my hero, Hulk Hogan. I was the biggest Hulkamaniac in Canada. And that day...Hulk Hogan lost. That wasn't the only thing lost that day. See, my innocence was also lost. But it's okay because it's come full circle, it really has. No, people rely on the Undertaker to win at WrestleMania. No matter how pathetic, mundane, or lousy their lives are, they can always count on the Dead Man. But that all changes tonight, it really does. Tonight, they get slapped in the face with a cold, hard dose of reality. There's probably a little kid sitting in that crowd tonight, just like me all those years ago, that believes anything in this world can happen...even 16-0. Tonight...I crush that kid's spirit! I pluck his innocence when I defeat the Undertaker and walk out of WrestleMania the true phenom and still the World Heavyweight Champion.

WrestleMania XXV (2009)[edit]

Jim Ross: [on Punk winning Money in the Bank for the second time.] CM Punk has done it two years in a row.

Jerry: Twenty-five Divas... you know... I guess there are more important things in the world than Divas, but ... what are they?

JBL: [as he makes his way to the ring] Thank you Texas! This is the greatest day in JBL's great life. Months ago, I had a WrestleMania vision, that just as Julius Caesar returned to Rome the conquering hero, I would return to Texas... [raises the Intercontinental Championship belt] ...champion. At a time when, quite frankly Texas, you've got no champions... Texas, you've got no men. You sit around, you drink your little lattes, you do your pilates, looking through the Houston Chronicle trying to find a job... at this point in life you need hope, and along comes your hero, JBL! Tonight, I'm going to give you the treat of someone that grew up in Sweetwater, Texas John Layfield and became the great JBL. You yourself will probably never improve your lot in life, but at least you can look at me and be proud of the fact that I'm your hero, because today I will give you the most dominant victory in WrestleMania history! I will then hop back on my charter plane, return to the greatest city in the world to my famous wife, New York City, as still... your hero.

Jerry: [after Mysterio defeated JBL in 21 seconds] I don't understand that. JBL promised something historic here tonight.
Michael Cole: Well, it was something historic.
Jerry: What?
Michael Cole: Mysterio wins the Intercontinental Title for the very first time.
Jerry: No, that can't be it.
Jim Ross: And now JBL just might understand how the brave Texans felt at the Alamo. It was a bad day at the office.
Michael Cole: Mysterio ensured the joke was on JBL here tonight. What a WrestleMania moment.
Jerry: I'm in shock.
Michael Cole: So's JBL.
[JBL grabs the microphone and gets up, not sure now of what to say]
JBL: I've got something to say. [The crowd's boos get louder]
Jerry: I can't wait to hear this excuse. Camera flash got in his eyes, maybe?
Jim Ross: Open-mouth disease?
Jerry: This has got to be embarrassing.
JBL: I...I...I... I QUIT!!!

Jim Ross: [about Undertaker slapping his leg] It wasn't for good luck, it was for circulation.

Jim Ross: [after Shawn Michaels kicks out of Undertaker's Tombstone] I just had an out of body experience!!! [the camera focuses on Undertaker's disbelief] The Undertaker's eyes tell a greater story than we could ever.

Jerry: [after Undertaker vs Shawn Michaels] This is what WrestleMania is all about.

Michael Cole: Indeed, sometimes it's hell getting to heaven.
Jim Ross: I feel like we've just seen heaven. What a match.

Jerry: The problem here is Edge and Cena are down and the Big Show is angry.

Jerry: [at Randy Orton's entrance] You know somehow, evil shouldn’t look that good. I mean this guy looks like he is chiseled out of stone and ready to do some serious damage.

Michael Cole: The referee is reinforcing the rules. He reminded Triple H that if he is disqualified or counted out, he loses the Championship.
Jim Ross: Which means Randy Orton is the new WWE Champion, bottom line.
Michael Cole: Will it be Orton’s law or Triple H’s game for the WWE Championship?
Jim Ross: Is Triple H really the cure for Randy Orton’s disease?
Michael Cole. Triple H has said that cowardice is Randy Orton's disease.

WrestleMania XXVI (2010)[edit]

Michael Cole: He is the son of WWE Hall of Famer Cowboy Bob Orton. Eighteen months ago, Randy Orton formed Legacy — second and third-generation stars which had a winning pedigree, and win they did, including WWE Title reigns for Randy Orton. But, King, it's only natural as confidence grew for DiBiase and Rhodes that they would want to fly away from the nest, as they are doing here tonight.
Jerry: Why is that only natural? Why not keep a cohesive successful unit together? I don't agree with what Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase have done.
Matt Striker: The WWE is about individual achievement, it's about leaving a legacy. The difference with Randy Orton is that this is his destiny and not his legacy.

Jerry: You guys see, does this remind you of anything?
Michael Cole: It reminds me of what Randy Orton does to his opponents.
Jerry: Yeah, these guys are using what they learned from Randy Orton against him now.
Matt: As every good student should.
Jerry: Every good student should turn against their mentor?
Matt: No, every good student should use what they learned.

CM Punk: Over 70,000 weak-minded individuals who think, because they're so hopped up on hallucinogenic drugs, that Rey Mysterio is a superhero. Over 70,000 people that think if they pop a pill or if they take a drink, that somehow their problems will go away, just like they think their superhero, Rey Mysterio will make the monster go away. Except I am not a monster, I am a savior, and I can save Rey Mysterio! I can lead you all to a better place, and I will lead you all by example because I choose to be drug-free! I choose to be better than each and every single one of you! Tonight, Rey Mysterio does not have a choice. I will beat him, he will join my Straight Edge Society, and in doing so, 70,000 people just like you will choose me as their savior, and the Straight Edge Society will live on, one nation under Punk, indivisible, with integrity and sobriety for all.
Jerry: That's scary. That's scary.
Michael Cole: I take it you're rooting for Rey.
Jerry: I don't wanna be in this guy's cult.
Matt: You see two members of the Straight Edge Society, there are countless others across the nation. Live events, wherever we go, people come to be saved by CM Punk.
...
Matt: What would that do to Rey Mysterio? What would that do to Rey Mysterio's family?
Jerry: I don't know, but the names Jim Jones and Charles Manson come to mind.

Matt: As the evening chases away the day, we say bring on the night!

Michael Cole [after Vince introduces his "lumberjacks"] Ladies and gentlemen, that is the Hart family. You see David Hart Smith, Natalya walking in with the rest of the Hart family behind Mr. McMahon. You gotta be kidding me! Look at this!
Matt: This is the same Hart family we saw earlier at WrestleMania after honoring their father Stu Hart, who was inducted into the Hall of Fame. Has Vince bought the Hart family?!
Michael Cole: This is disgusting!
Jerry: I just can't help but think back, last we heard from Vince McMahon last week on Raw when he...his final chilling words, he said, "Bret, no matter what, at WrestleMania, you're screwed." Did he already know?
Michael Cole: Will Mr. McMahon stop at nothing to humiliate this man? Ladies and gentlemen, Bret Hart was one of Mr. McMahon's most important and lucrative superstars. In late 1997, Bret's contract was coming to an end, they couldn't reach an agreement, Bret headed out of the company. What does Mr. McMahon do on one of his last nights here? He screws Bret Hart out of the Championship in Montreal, one of the most controversial events of all time!
Matt: Guys, I gotta tell you – this is genius. I love this.
Jerry: No, this is not genius.
Matt: Yeah, there's Bruce Hart.
Michael Cole: It's evil genius is what it is, Matt.
Matt: Smith Hart, Stu's firstborn son.
Michael Cole: In many ways, this is pathetic.
Matt: Why?
Michael Cole: Because it's pathetic. Because Mr. McMahon cannot let bygones be bygones. For thirteen years this has been going on! Bret Hart came back here to bury the hatchet; he did so with Shawn Michaels, and now this.
...
Bret: You've all agreed to this? Bruce, you've agreed to this? There's not much I can do about it. What's done is done. There's one thing I know about the Hart family – you all got paid up front, didn't you? Got your money, cashed your checks, put it in the bank? [Everyone nods] Well, there's one thing I learned from the Montreal Screwjob: that's that there's nothing sweeter than a good double-cross. See, the thing here, Vince, is the Hart family – we're stronger than ever and we're united as one tonight. They told me what you were trying to do and we all agreed ahead of time. We all know about your little tricks, but tonight, this your greatest creation of them all, WrestleMania, it's gonna be forever remembered as the night that Bret screwed Vince!
Matt: Wait a minute. Oh! The Hart family's on the take!

Matt: [after Natalya slaps Vince] Best of luck in your future endeavors, Natalya!

Matt: This is the chairman and CEO of a publicly traded company being treated like this.
Michael Cole: Yeah, but how about how he treated Bret Hart? How about that, Matt? Besides, Mr. McMahon signed up for this. Mr. McMahon agreed to this match-up.
Matt: Not under these conditions.
Michael Cole: He tried to buy the Hart family off, they just turned the tables on him. Mr. McMahon would've done the same thing.
Jerry: Before that, Matt, Mr. McMahon put Bret up to being in this match when he thought Bret had a broken leg.
Matt: If I've learned one thing from Mr. McMahon, it's that never do bad business, and this is bad business by the Harts.

Jerry: Mr. McMahon looks like a pathetic preacher right now.
Matt: I'm gonna tell him you said that.

Vickie Guerrero: [to Kelly Kelly] EXCUSE ME!!!! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!
[Kelly kicks her in the stomach]
Michael Cole: I don't think Kelly quite cares.

Michael Cole: The Undertaker is 18-0. Shawn Michaels' career is over.

WrestleMania XXVII (2011)[edit]

The Rock: Finally, the Rock has come back to Atlanta! And finally, the Rock has come back to WrestleMania! The Rock promises that this will be the most memorable WrestleMania of all time. The electricity is in the air! It's all around us! Can you FEEL it? Can you TASTE it?! Can you SMELL it?!? [The crowd reacts to every sentence he says. When he is done, the crowd chants "Rocky".] We are making history - right now we're making history, so we're gonna do something special. Atlanta, we're gonna have some fun. [the crowd reacts] When the Rock says "Wrestle", the people will say "Mania". Wrestle...
Crowd: [responding] Mania...
The Rock: Wrestle...
Crowd: Mania...
The Rock: Wrestle...
Crowd: Mania!
The Rock: And to all the WWE Super... the Rock is getting goosebumps, Good Lord almighty! And to all the WWE Superstars, past and present, and to one WWE Superstar in particular, [referring to John Cena] who right now is in the back trying to decide which rainbow Fruity Pebble T-Shirt he's going to put on tonight... [The Rock signals for some water. Again the crowd chants "Rocky".] Oh, this is gonna get good, this is gonna get good. Before we do this next one, let the Rock take a drink of water. But this ain't any water. This is the People's Water! [The crowd reacts.] When the Rock says "Yabba", the people say "Dabba". Yabba...
Crowd: Dabba...
The Rock: Yabba...
Crowd: Dabba...
The Rock: Yabba...
Crowd: Dabba!
The Rock: And this last one, this last one needs no introduction whatsoever. It's the Rock, the People's Champ. He's never alone. He's with the millions...
Crowd: AND MILLIONS!
The Rock: He's with the millions...
Crowd: AND MILLIONS!
The Rock: ...of the Rock's fans, because this is Wrestlemania, this is the Showcase of the Immortals, and this is hosted by the jabroni beatin', lalalalao! Pie eatin', trail blazin', eyebrow raisin', heart stopping, elbow dropping, electrifying the dirty south, so know your role and shut your mouth, the Brahma Bull, ever defiant, standing as tall as Andre the Giant. This night, WrestleMania, Atlanta, the Georgia Dome, is bigger than Christmas, so no offense, Santa, because The Rock is bringing it all over At-lanta! [The crowd again chants "Rocky"] If you s... [stops] Oh no no no no no NO! No... that catchphrase is the most famous, the most electrifying catchphrase in the world! Men, women, children of all ages, races - they say it. So this is going to be special, because that catchphrase doesn't belong to the Rock, that catchphrase belongs to the people. So, Atlanta, we're gonna do something special, we're gonna electrify the world! Everybody, everybody on your feet! You're already on your feet! So everybody, right now feel the electricity! Assume the position with the Rock, 'cause we're not saying it, we're saying it loud and proud and we're saying it together. [the crowd joins in] IF YOU SMELLLLLL-LALALALAO, WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN'!

Michael Cole: Look at this man, CM Punk. He is a charismatic figure. The people follow him, and he has one thing to get him through, and that thing is faith.
Jerry: He's got about as many followers as you've got Cole Miners.

Michael Cole: Can I have your attention please? Can I have your attention please? There he is, "Good ol' JR", Jim Ross, the man with the second-biggest ego in sports-entertainment. Hey, JR, I like how you're waddling your way down to the ring. Glad you're staying in shape since I took your job. You know who the man is with the biggest ego in the entire world? None other than my opponent tonight, Jerry Lawler. You know, Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross have a lot in common — they're both overweight,...
Crowd: What?!
Michael Cole: [cont'd] They're both overrated,...
Crowd: What?!
Michael Cole: and they're both over the hill! You know, I've been thinking a lot over the past 24 hours about...about this match here tonight, and what I've been thinking about is Jerry Lawler has been in this business about as long as I've been alive, yet tonight is Jerry Lawler's first WrestleMania. And guess what, all you Cole Miners — this is Michael Cole's first WrestleMania. So, ladies and gentlemen, when tonight is over, and this main event is concluded, JR, you're gonna go back to making really bad barbecue sauce; Jerry Lawler, you're gonna be embarrassed and humiliated; and Stone Cold Steve Austin's gonna raise my hand in victory; and then all of you, all over the world, you are gonna proclaim me the new Mr. WrestleMania!

Jerry: When you're as pretty as Michelle McCool, you don't like to be dropped flat on your face.
Jim Ross: When you're as ugly as I am, you don't like to be dropped flat on your face.
Jerry: If anything happened to your face, it'd be an improvement.
Jim Ross: Exactly.

The Rock: [after the WWE Championship match ends in a double count-out] Can I have your attention please? I've just received an e-mail from the anonymous Raw General Manager. [He opens the laptop and begins reading from it a la Michael Cole] And I quote: "As Raw General Manager, I think..." IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK! [He tosses the laptop to the floor and enters the ring] The Rock is the host of WrestleMania, and the Rock says there is no way WrestleMania is over! The Rock says this match must restart right now! No disqualification, no count-out, no time limit, no doubt about it, no cryin' to your mama, no way on God's green earth under God's hot sun in this beautiful Georgia Dome will this match end like that! So you can take your double count-out, take your little computer, take your awesome, take your Fruity Pebbles, roll them all up in a ball, turn them sumbitches sideways, and stick 'em straight up your candy-ass! It is time to give the people what they want!

WrestleMania XXVIII (2012)[edit]

Crowd: [chant during the Divas match] DANIEL BRYAN!

Matt Striker: We are now just moments away. As the guest referee inside Hell in a Cell, you must be filled with conflicted emotions. Shawn, your thoughts?
Shawn: This match is the end of an era. Something's coming to an end. It's either the end of the Streak, which means the end of the Undertaker, or it's the end of the Game, which means he couldn't do what I couldn't do. Facing the Undertaker ended my career. Isn't it ironic that I hold the power in the palm of my hand to end an era?

Jim Ross: I tell you, in four decades of sitting at ringside, I can honestly say I have never ever witnessed anything like what we have just seen.
Michael Cole: The Undertaker is 20-0 at WrestleMania!
Jim Ross: [as the Undertaker tries to get up] Look at the Undertaker's back; he's just fighting to get back up. The era has ended, we will never see it again, and what a way to go.

[As Shawn, Triple H and Undertaker hug at the top of the ramp]
Jim Ross: A standing ovation from 78,363, and a moment that will live in infamy in WWE, an image that we will never replicate, an image that we'll all remember forever.

John Cena: We got people behind the scoreboard!

WrestleMania 29 (2013)[edit]

JBL: [on the Shield] I've wrestled with the Fabulous Freebirds. What they brought to the house, what they brought to this business was improved by the Horsemen, was perfected, some say, by the NWO. This team right here can do something none of them have ever done at WrestleMania.

Jerry: It was pretty impressive. I'm not gonna say they're the greatest thing since sliced bread, I don't know that they're the greatest team in sports-entertainment.
JBL: I don't know if you can name anybody better. Do you believe in the Shield now? If not, you should.

Michael Cole: Well, statistics are on the side of Team Hell No in this match tonight. 53% of defending champions are successful in WrestleMania. And Daniel Bryan will start things off against Dolph Ziggler with the Tag Team Championship up for grabs here tonight at WrestleMania.
JBL: Would you bet on that, if you had a 53-47 chance.
Michael Cole: Not at all.

Dolph: I got this! I got this! [to AJ Lee] Lay it on me.
[AJ plants a kiss on Dolph]
Michael Cole: Oh, now this is just sticking it to Daniel Bryan. Remember last year at WrestleMania, and AJ Lee good-luck kissed... [As Dolph turns around, Daniel kicks him upside the head and goes for the pin] Oh God, look out! Daniel Bryan...
JBL: It's over! It's over!
[Referee counts, but Dolph kicks out]

Crowd: [during the World Heavyweight Championship match] WE WANT ZIGGLER!

Half of crowd: [alternating] UNDERTAKER!
Other half: CM PUNK!

Michael Cole: Can you say 21-0?!
JBL: MetLife just exploded!
Justin Roberts: The winner of this match: The Undertaker!
Michael Cole: Year after year after year, opponent after opponent after opponent, the will and the perseverance for the most incredible performer in WrestleMania history!
JBL: It's the holy grail, the greatest streak alive!

WrestleMania XXX (2014)[edit]

John "Bradshaw" Layfield: Look at this, that is insulting, Daniel Bryan sticking his hand out like that, mocking Triple H. What a disrespectful move.
Jerry "The King" Lawler: JBL, how short is your memory? Have you drinking milk from forgetful cows? Milk of amnesia? Let me tell you something. You realize the last time Daniel Bryan stuck his hand out, Triple H put handcuffs on him.
JBL: He should've, he broke the law.

Jerry "The King" Lawler: WrestleMania has just turned into YES!leMania!
Michael Cole: The YES! Movement has beaten the Authority!
John "Bradshaw" Layfield: History has already been made at WrestleMania! I cannot believe what I have just witnessed. This garden creature just beat the Game.

Jerry "The King" Lawler: Wrestling the Shield's like being married to Larry King—you know it's gonna be painful, but it's not gonna last long.

Michael Cole: Kofi Kingston [by Cesaro] ...lobbed over the top rope and he's out. [The referees notice that Kofi's feet are still on the steps] Wait, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa!
John "Bradshaw" Layfield: You gotta be kidding me!
Jerry "The King" Lawler: His feet didn't hit the floor.
Michael: Kofi's feet did not hit the floor. [Kofi scoots onto the steps and re-enters the ring] That is incredible! That is incredible!
JBL: I love this young guy!

Michael Cole: Uppercut by Cesaro again. [Cesaro picks up the Big Show] LOOK AT THE POWER!
John "Bradshaw" Layfield: No way!
Michael: YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! [Cesaro dumps the Big Show out of the ring, winning the match] CESARO WINS THE BATTLE ROYAL!
Jerry "The King" Lawler: OH MY GOD!
JBL: The Swiss Superman!
Lilian Garcia: The winner of the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal: Cesaro!
Michael: Cesaro has his WrestleMania Moment.

Michael Cole: John, would a victory tonight for Brock Lesnar be the greatest conquer of his career?
John "Bradshaw" Layfield: Absolutely. 3-time WWE Champion; IWGP Champion; his third UFC fight, he won the Heavyweight Championship; in his fourth UFC fight, UFC 100, he unified the Heavyweight Championship, National Champion 2000; 2008 Sports Illustrated Newcomer of the Year; all of that pales in comparison if Brock Lesnar ends the Streak tonight.
Jerry "The King" Lawler: You know what else would be worse than awful if Brock Lesnar ends the Streak? That would probably submit the walrus Paul Heyman's legacy as possibly the greatest strategist, possibly the best manager ever.
JBL: I disagree. Right now, he is arguably the greatest manager. I say you take off any of those caveats, he becomes the greatest manager of all time if he leads the beast incarnate, Brock Lesnar, to victory tonight.
Jerry: That's what I was saying. The big word is "if."

[During the Brock Lesnar/Undertaker match]
Paul Heyman: [to Brock Lensar] This is your destiny. This is your destiny. This is what you worked for. This is what you trained for. This is yours. 21-1, and you are the 1! Are you going to let him deprive you of this?! He's taking this away from you! You're Brock Lesnar! You're a conqueror!

[Brock Lesnar has kicked out of the Tombstone]
Michael Cole: Undertaker signals it's over.
John "Bradshaw" Layfield: Maybe he's not human.
[Undertaker picks up Brock for another Tombstone]
Michael: Again...[Brock falls back onto his feet and picks up Undertaker] Brock Lesnar counter. Brock Lesnar counter! Lesnar counter! He's got Undertaker over his shoulders again!
Jerry "The King" Lawler: Not again!
Michael: Going for a triple! [Brock hits the F-5] A third F-5 on the Undertaker! Brock Lesnar into the cover! Hooks the leg! [Referee counts to three] The Streak is over!
Paul Heyman: OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! YOU DID IT! YOU DID IT! [With the arena in shock, Paul rushes to Brock] You did it! You did it! You did it! You beat him! You conquered the Streak! Brock, you did it! You did it!
Justin Roberts: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match: Brock Lesnar!
[Brock and Paul leave the ring]
Jerry: I'm speechless.
JBL: So are 75,000 people here.
Michael: The Undertaker's mortal.
JBL: I was hoping I wouldn't see it.
Michael: I honestly thought I'd never see it.

Michael Cole: Daniel Bryan...knee to Batista! Knee to Batista! Knee to Batista! [Daniel cinches the YES! Lock on Batista] Come on, Bryan! Come on, Bryan! YES! Lock! Come on, Daniel! Come on, Daniel!
Jerry "The King" Lawler: Has he got him?
Michael : Tap out Batista!
Jerry: He's got him!
Michael: Tap out Batista! Tap out Batista!
John "Bradshaw" Layfield: No way! No way!
Michael: Batista's gonna tap! Batista's gonna tap! [Batista taps out]
Jerry: OH, YES!
JBL: He taps!
Michael: HE DID IT! HE DID IT! DANIEL BRYAN DID IT!
JBL: You gotta be kidding me!
Michael: THE MIRACLE KID! THE MIRACLE KID! A MIRACLE ON BOURBON STREET!
Justin Roberts: The winner of this match as a result of a submission...and NEW WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Daniel Bryan!
Michael: The impossible dream has become reality! Did anyone expect this?
Jerry: Absolutely not! They hoped for it!
Michael: Did everyone want this?!
Jerry: YES! YES! YES!
JBL: Daniel Bryan has overcome the Authority.
Michael: There's your new face of WWE! Daniel Bryan has done it!
JBL: Dreams come true.
Jerry: [continues to chant as pyrotechnics explode on the stage] YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!
Michael: April 6, 2014—the night Daniel Bryan's arrived!

External links[edit]

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