You Only Live Twice (film)

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Oh the things I do for England.

You Only Live Twice is a 1967 film, the the fifth film in the James Bond series, about Agent 007 and the Japanese secret service ninja force who must find and stop the true culprit of a series of spacejackings before nuclear war is provoked.

Directed by Lewis Gilbert. Written by Roald Dahl, based on the novel by Ian Fleming.
Welcome to Japan, Mr. Bond.taglines

James Bond

  • [about to make love to Helga Brandt] Oh the things I do for England.
  • [Coded message to headquarters after being waylaid by attack helicopters] Little Nelly got a hot reception. Four big shots made improper advances toward her, but she defended her honour with great success.
  • [after bond throws Hans into a piranha tank] Bon appetit.


[James is in bed with Ling, a Chinese woman]
Bond: Why do Chinese girls taste different from all other girls?
Ling: You think we better, huh?
Bond: No, just different. Like Peking duck is different from Russian caviar. But I love them both.
Ling: Darling, I give you very best duck.

Moneypenny: Oh, by the way, how was the girl?
Bond: [turns the lamp towards her, interrogation style] Which girl?
Moneypenny: The... uh... Chinese one we set you up with?
Bond: Another few minutes and I would have found out.

[After Dikko Henderson gives Bond a vodka martini]
Henderson: Oh, that's uh, stirred, not shaken. That was right, wasn't it?
Bond: Perfect.

Tiger Tanaka: Permit me to introduce myself. I am Tanaka. Please call me Tiger.
Bond: If you're Tanaka, then how do you feel about me?
Tanaka: [the code response] I... love you.
Bond: Well, I'm glad we got that out of the way.

[Bond is in a hot tub with Tiger Tanaka and four beautiful Japanese girls.]
Tiger Tanaka: Rule number one: Never do anything yourself when someone else can do it for you.
Bond: And number two?
Tiger Tanaka: Rule number two: In Japan, men always come first, women come second.
Bond: Really? I might just retire to here.

[A car chasing Aki and Bond gets picked up by Tanaka's helicopter and gets dropped into the ocean.]
Tiger Tanaka: How is that for Japanese efficiency?
Bond: Just a drop in the ocean.

[Tiger is showing Bond a shooting cigarette.]
Tiger: It can save your life, this cigarette.
Bond: You sound like a commercial.

[Blofeld has summoned Osato and Helga Brandt to his office]
Blofeld: An unknown Englishman was in your office the other day.
Mr. Osato: Correct, Number One.
Blofeld: [shows them an X-ray image of a pistol] Do you know what gun this is?
Mr. Osato: [smugly] Walther PPK.
Blofeld: Only one person we know uses this sort of gun. James Bond.
Mr. Osato: [startled] But Bond is dead!
Helga Brandt: It was in all the newspapers!
Blofeld: Rubbish. Bond is alive, unless you killed him, Mr. Osato? Don't tell me you let him go.
Mr. Osato: I gave Number 11 the strictest orders to eliminate him!
Blofeld: And did she?
Mr. Osato: She failed!
Helga Brandt: [to Osato] You should have killed him yourself! You had plenty of opportunity!
Blofeld: This organization does not tolerate failure. [moves his foot over a pedal]
Mr. Osato: I know, but do you see, I...
Blofeld: GO! [sees Osato cross a bridge and leave the room, heading to the staircase back to the control room; to Helga] Well? [Helga starts to cross the bridge. No sooner is she on it that Blofeld hits the pedal, causing the bridge bottom to drop out, sending her into the piranha-filled water]
Helga: Aaaah! Osato! NEIIIIIIIIIIIIN!...[disappears from sight as piranhas kill her, much to the shock of Osato and two Chinese emissaries]
Blofeld: [addressing Osato as the bridge closes back up] Kill Bond! Now!
Mr. Osato: Yes, Number One! Yes. Yes, yes. [quickly goes up the staircase]

[Blofeld has an astronaut that just tried to infiltrate SPECTRE's Bird One rocket brought to him at the command center]
SPECTRE Number 3: A new update on target vehicle has been received from computers. We now have T-minus seven minutes and counting.
Blofeld: You made a mistake, my friend. No astronaut would enter the capsule, carrying his air conditioner. Remove his helmet! [A guard removes the astronaut's helmet, and Blofeld is surprised who the person is; Osato tries to avoid the astronaut's eyes] James Bond. Allow me to introduce myself. [Leans forward so his head is visible from behind Hans] I am Ernst Stavro Blofeld. They told me you were assassinated in Hong Kong.
Bond: Yes, this is my second life.
Blofeld: [Pushes Hans out of the way] You only live twice, Mr. Bond.
SPECTRE Number 4: Target vehicle passing over central Russia. Approaching Mongolia. Track is as predicted. All computers...
Blofeld: [Drowns out SPECTRE Number 4] As you see, I am about to inaugurate a little war. In a matter of hours, when America and Russia have annihilated each other, we shall see a new power dominating the world.
Scientist: Target vehicle on scope.
Blofeld: [To scientist] Recheck on target vehicle. [To guards] Remove his suit, and search him!
SPECTRE Number 3: Reserve astronaut, ready on Bird One.


  • Welcome to Japan, Mr. Bond.
  • You Only Live Twice...and "TWICE" is the only way to live!


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