Angry Grandpa

Angry Grandpa in 2015

Angry Grandpa was an internet personality and singer. He was portrayed by Charles Green Jr. (October 16 1950 - December 10 2017). From 2007-2017, he made hundreds of videos across YouTube. In most of these videos, Green would explode into a violent rage over little things such as when he can't find his favorite foods or if someone has been eating his food. Other videos included him cooking and speaking out over world issues. Filming most of these videos was Green's son Michael who would sometimes play pranks on Green. (aka Pickleboy or KidBehindACamera). Michael's girlfriend Bridgette would also be present for most of these videos.

The following texts are those from episodes of this Saga, being put and sometimes translated in the best way possible, as he could get gibberish or inaudible at times.

Say Cheese

[Grandpa is throwing things out of the refrigerator looking for pimento cheese]

Grandpa: God damn!

Michael: What are you doing?

Grandpa: I'm looking for my goddamn pimento cheese!

Michael: It's right there!

Grandpa: Where?!

Michael: Move the cheese!

Grandpa: Who the fuck eating my damn...?

Michael: I made a sandwich with it!

Grandpa: You won't be eating my goddamn shit!

Michael: Well, you threw the food all over the floor for it!

Grandpa: Look at my goddamn pimento cheese!

Michael: Ah, the mayonaise is open!

Grandpa: WHO THE FUCK...?!! (slams the cheese on the floor)

Michael: I made a sandwich with... I made a sandwich with it!

Grandpa: Man, I was going to eat my steak with my pimento... (takes the steak out of the microwave and throws it on the floor) There's no goddamn steak with my goddamn pimento... Who the fuck's eating my shit up?!

Michael: It was just a little bit of food.

Grandpa: I am so motherfucking tired of this!

Michael: (sees Tina wearing only a towel.) Oh, mom's like naked in there!

Grandpa: I don't give a damn, she can stay naked! MOTHERFUCKER!! That was my sandwich, that was my supper! Y'all can eat your goddamn sandwich! Don't invite me. Now, look what you did to my damn pimento cheese! Look what you did!

Michael: I didn't do that first of all.

Tina: Goddamn, this is fucked up man!

Grandpa: Get out of here you goddamn naked bitch! I'm tired of you goddamnit!!

Tina: I have to clean after the animals at the fucking hotel, now I have to clean this up?!

Grandpa: Yeah you do! Why did you eat my goddamn pimento cheese?!

Tina: I never liked that shit!

Grandpa: You lying bitch! You ate my pimento cheese! That was mine!!

Michael: I ate the pimento cheese but...

Grandpa: Then why did you throw it on the fucking floor?!

Michael: You've got problems, you threw it on the floor!

Grandpa: You're a fucking liar!

Michael: What are you going to do with pimento cheese anyway...on steak?

Grandpa: [Grabs a broom] I'll beat yoUR GODDAMN BRAINS OUT!

Michael: Whadda fuck... Hey.

Grandpa: Who-you'll gonna clean this up!

Michael: Who mixes/makes pimento cheese with steak?

Grandpa: (to Bridgette, who had just arrived at the scene) You get in here and clean this shit up! You made the mess you need to clean it up! There's your fucking broom witch! Fly around the fucking house! Put it between your legs and, ride, fly, fly!

Michael: Ok this is getting bizarre.

Grandpa: (turns back to Pickleboy) No you need to shut the fuck up.

Michael: You need to clean this.

Grandpa: I ain't cleaning this shit, I didn't do it.

Michael: Who eats pimento cheese in steak?

Grandpa: I didn't do it!

Michael: Who eats pimento cheese with steak? I don't get that-

Grandpa: I do, it's good!

Tina: There are people at that hotel who aren't that nasty. Man, that's fucking nasty-

Grandpa: Fuck you.

Tina: That's goddamn nasty man.

Grandpa: Get'yo fatass out here pig! Fattest person in this motherfuckin' house you! All you do is fucking- (Tina starts talking; to Tina) SHUT THE FUCK UP! WWOOOOOOH MS. WITTY WITTY! Fucking piggy bitch, you get to cleaning motherfucker.

Michael: Bridgette, go to the room because you're not cleaning this.

Grandpa: Yeah you are (talks to Bridgette). Goddamn, you come... (inaudible)... eat my goddamn food and shit. You make a mess and throw shit around.

Michael: Over pimento cheese?!

Grandpa: IT WAS MINE!

Michael: First off, you're the only white trash person who eats steak (Grandpa grabs a belt) with pimento cheese.

Grandpa: (inaudible) ...goddamn belt (starts towards him)!

Michael: (backing away) Wha- See, this is ridiculous! I gotta be afraid of you!

NEXT SCENE...

Grandpa: (cleaning up the mess) Fuck. I'll beat his goddamn ass... (notices Micheal coming back) The fuck (throws a wrapper)!

Michael: (giggles and than laughs) Hahahahaha!

Grandpa: Get outta here!

Michael: The cheese at me!

Grandpa: Fuck outta here! It's all your goddamn fault. You better go or you gonna wear this motherfucker!

END OF VIDEO, WITH THE OLD OUTRO/INTRO PLAYING AGAIN...

The Fake Bomb Prank

Michael: [pretending to call a bomb-defusing company] Yes, sir! [to Grandpa] He says, look for a ground wire. He says that--

Grandpa: [panicking] Oh, god, I got no idea what a goddamn ground wire is.

Michael: Okay, the-- it's black, white and looks like a green.

Grandpa: WHAT IS IT?! WHAT WE GONNA DO?!

Michael: Okay, he says the green wire. Get something and cut the green wire.

---

[last lines in the video]

Grandpa: THAT'S THE WORST THING YOU HAVE EVER, EVER, IN YOUR LIFE, EVER DONE TO ME!!! I DON'T LIKE IT!! That is the worst! Thing! You've! Ever! Done!

Michael: April fool's, you--

Grandpa: Fuck your "April fool's", man! [Bridgette yells something; to Bridgette] Shut up!!

Michael: April fool's, you had Mom call me and say you were dead!

Grandpa: Why don't you go home?!

PISSED About Twinkies!

Grandpa: WHAT AM I GONNA DO ON GODDAMN WEEKENDS?! I LIKE TO FRY THEM MOTHERFUCKERS!!

Michael: They got Walmart-brand Twinkies.

Grandpa: FUCK WALMART BRAND GODDAMN TWINKIES!

---

Grandpa: I'VE BEEN EATING TWINKIES SINCE I WAS GODDAMN KNEE HIGH TO A GRASSHOPPER'S MOTHERFUCKING ASS!! I WAS THAT GODDAMN HIGH WHEN MY DADDY BRINGING ME MOTHERFUCKING TWINKIES!! I USED TO WATCH CAPTAIN KANGAROO EATING MY MOTHERFUCKING TWINKIE!!

---

Grandpa: Twinkies is an American tradition. Back when they were pulling all my teeth, Twinkies was the only thing I could fucking eat! What are people losing their teeth now gonna eat?

Michael: Walmart-brand Twinkies.

Grandpa: Get the fuck away from me with that Walmart shit!

Michael: Dad, eat some "Twunkies."

Grandpa: [sarcastically] It's a "Blue Light" special at Walmart, ain't it? Get outta here.

Michael: [to Bridgette] Let's just get him some Great Value Twinkies. [Grandpa gets ready to punch him] WHOOOA! Now you're getting dangerous!

Bridgette: It's not worth it!

Pickleboy's Filthy Apartment

Grandpa: GOOD GOD!! Can you believe what hap-? Oh man! Michael's Crib! Nastiest man... Wait, what are you in the bathroom? I'm over here, I'm filming your house! I'm filming your house because it's nasty!

Michael: Okay, dad? (closes the door)

Grandpa: AH HA HA!! Instead of taking a bath, you should've cleaned your house first!

GRANDPA RUINS THANKSGIVING (2013)

[Grandpa is putting ham in his container with his bare hands]

Michael: Okay Dad, there's utensils for this. (Grandpa rubs his nose) Oh no.

Bridgette: No, no get out.

Michael: Bridgette can you make his plate for him?

Bridgette: I'll make it.

Michael: We're making it.

Grandpa: I'll make my own plate, thank you.

Bridgette: No, I'll make it.

Grandpa: I'LL MAKE MY OWN GODDAMN PLATE!! Princess gonna wear this damn thing. (a lady laughs) If they keep laughing at me one more time now, they better shut up!

Michael: Dad, they're not laughing at you.

Grandpa: THEY'RE LAUGHING AT ME!!

Michael: (walks out of the kitchen and starts walking upstairs) I'm out.

Bridgette: Michael come back!

Michael: No, I'm going outside, I'm going upstairs for a minute.

Bridgette: No Michael. I don't want to have to deal with Grandpa by myself.

Michael: Well I don't want--

Grandpa: YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

The Burger King Four Cheese Whopper

Michael: Well, Dad, we are on our way to Burger King!

Grandpa: Yeah, I’m hungry, man.

Michael: What’cha gonna get?

Grandpa: Give me a damn Whopper.

Michael: I heard they got the new Four Cheese Whopper.

Grandpa: Four cheese?

Michael: Yeah, there’s a Whopper with four cheeses on it.

Grandpa: They put four pieces of cheese on it?

Michael: Or four kinds of cheese.

Grandpa: I bet that’s good. I love Whoppers!

Grandpa: That’s for talking about the damn Yumbo! (drives off)

Michael: Dad…

(Aftermath video)

Grandpa: It doesn’t matter.

Grandpa’s hiney: MOOOOOOOOOOOE!

Michael: Oh my God, dude. That’s pure yumbo!

Grandpa: That was yumbo.

Draw My Life FAIL

Michael: Your story's not even coming together dude. Ok, it's like ok.

Grandpa: YOU TOLD ME TO DRAW MY LIFE! THAT'S EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED IN MY LIFE! I'M DOING WHAT YOU TOLD ME TO!

Michael: Ok, I'm just trying to say you're not getting the concept I don't think.

Grandpa: And you're not getting what I'm telling you!

Michael: Yeah, I'm saying you gotta tell a story. So far we've got Baby with a bottle, Mama beating your ass, Going to school, Coming to work.

Grandpa: Makin' love.

Michael: We've got to know a story.

Grandpa: YOU LEFT OUT SMOKING A JOINT!

Michael: Okay, Smoking a joint.

---

Grandpa: I was a little boy. That's me as a little boy. Then I grew up to be a mean ass teenager who didn't like...people. I grew up. Then all of a sudden, I grew up and became a man! Had four fucking little brats!

Michael: And eight stomachs.

Grandpa: One asshole named Mike! And I'll draw a picture of the little fat little bastard! (Draws a picture of Michael with a fat stomach) That was Michael when he was a little boy! That was his tiny little arms! That was his goddamn little bellybutton. Okay, now IS THAT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?! IS THAT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?! YOU WANNA.... NOOOOOOO, let's draw Bridgette!

Michael: Okay, I'm done with this.

Grandpa: When Bridgette first came to the house! Here's Bridgette! (draws Bridgette with a fat stomach) WHOAAAAAAAAA!

Bridgette: Wait a minute!

Grandpa: It's Bridgette! Little short little motherfucking arms, little tiny ass head, little beady fucking nose, beady eyes and a goddamn little face! Oh Bridgette, it's so nice to meet you! GET OUT OF MY GODDAMN HOUSE!! GET OUT!! OH, GET OUT!! I'M TELLING YOU GET OUT!!

Michael: Okay!

Grandpa: I AIN'T DRAWING NO MORE GODDAMN PICTURES!!

Michael: Try to do something nice for somebody...

Grandpa: YOU DID! DON'T COME BACK!

Bridgette: That was rude!

ANGRY GRANDPA'S 65TH BIRTHDAY MELTDOWN!

[Michael and Grandpa are arguing about the food]

Grandpa: It's MY damn birthday!

Michael: Okay, I'm not saying it's not!

Grandpa: Well, you gotta do what I say to.

Michael: So, because it's your birthday, I've gotta eat seafood?

Grandpa: That's right. [pounds his hammer on the table like a gavel]

Bridgette: What? What's going on?

Michael: There's nothing for me to eat.

Grandpa: There's plenty to eat!

Bridgette: [to Grandpa] You didn't make any burgers?

---

Grandpa: Doug, whose party is this?

Doug: It's yours.

Grandpa: [turns back to Michael] See? It's my--

[Enraged, Michael flips the table over, destroying much of the food]

Bridgette: [shocked] Oh, my--! Oh, my...

Grandpa: That's it! Get the hell outta here.

Michael: Take THAT! [throws the trashcan against the table]

Bridgette: Oh, my God.

Grandpa: Get the hell outta my yard, now. Get the hell outta here!

Michael: I DON'T CARE HOW OLD YOU THINK YOU ARE!!!

Grandpa: Get outta my yard!

Michael: YOU'RE NOT AS TOUGH AS YOU THINK YOU ARE!!!

ROAD TRIP RAGE 2

Grandpa: (Driving) You know, youngins this... this trip is bringing back a lot of memories for old grandpa. And... on our way to Columbia, jesus fucking christ man. But I-I was just telling about another one of those (gets mad at a car)- MOTHERFUCKER! That son of a bitch can't fucking drive! WHERE'D YOU GET YOUR GODDAMN LICENSE, GEORGIA!?

Micheal: Should we stuck/stick behind him the whole time?

Grandpa: I, hell- hell why not. It keeps me alert. But... the fuck you think you're going red pickup truck you suck my dick! But Micheal when they, they, they, they were little; EVERYBODY'S FUCKING PASSING ME!! 'CAUSE OF THAT MOTHERFUCK- (turns the talking to Micheal) Put the camera on that son of a bitch. (Micheal turns it to the car, a black Toyota SUV) Look how slow that motherfucker's driving! Everybody's fucking passing me. And he's in an... a... RVD or whatever you call it, and he's-... Fuck it, fuck it. Just to hell with it.

Micheal: Weren't you telling a story?

Grandpa: I don't care I lost my thought. There goes another one passing me! I don't like being passed on the road.

Angry Grandpa- Thanksgiving meltdown (2010 version that deals with the souffle problem)

Grandpa: Fucking bastard goddamn. Hogtrogh, goddamn eatin'son of a bitches! (throws a utensil in anger) Fuck!

Micheal: What happened? What are you cooking?

Grandpa: Tomorrow fuck that shit! Tomorrow's Thanksgiving! (grabs the marshmallow bag) Who's been eatin' my goddamn marshmallows!? That's for the (throws the bag) goddamn soufflee! Now we got no goddamn- (in anger, throws something again, this time a whole bunch of cans) GODDAMN, FUCK DINNER!!!!!!!! FUCK THANKSGIVING!!!!! FUCK YOUR GODDAMN TURKEY!!!!!!!

Micheal: Hold on!

Grandpa: (throws cans)

Grandpa: WHaT I THinK aboUT GODDAMN ThankSGIVIN'! You Goddamn MOtherfuckin'... Hey The hog trough don't open till 11 tomorrow this ain't a goddamn piggy wiggy!

External links

• https://web.archive.org/web/20180423044847/https://theangrygrandpa.com/