Hercules (1998 TV series)

The Hercules 1998 American-Greek TV series takes place during Hercules' adolescent years. He refers to himself as "a hero in training" where he is trained by Phil. Hercules attends the Prometheus Academy school with his best friends Icarus and Cassandra.

Season 1

Hercules and the Apollo Mission [1.1]

[When Hercules is going on a secret spy mission]

Hercules: I've got to go. Remember, don't tell a soul.

Icarus: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Mum's the word, buddy. If anybody asks I never heard of ya. OK! GOOD LUCK WITH THE SPYIN'!

---

Athena: Smartly done, Hercules. I meant for him to do that.

Ares: You did not! You're alway- wait. Hercules? That's... He's... Sport is Zeus' little boy?

[Athena nods]

Ares: I was gonna execute Zeus' kid?

Athena: Mm-hm.

[She laughs and vanishes. Ares looks up in fear as Zeus throws a thunderbolt at him]

Hercules and the Big Kiss [1.5]

[Hercules is trying to dissuade Icarus from kissing Cassandra]

Hercules: It's great that your relationship is just friendly, you know, platonic.

Icarus: Oh, Plato's a prude!

---

Cassandra's mother: Cassie! There's an armed youth and a flying horse here to see you!

---

[After Cassandra kissed Icarus to wake him from the eternal sleep]

Cassandra: First and last, Icarus! First and last!

Icarus: Oh, come on! One more! I was asleep the first time!

Hercules and the River Styx [1.6]

[Hades is choosing tortures for all the students]

Hades: All right. How about an eternity spent punching out your best buddy? Nice, huh?

Hercules dummy: Come and get me, sissy face.

Icarus: [assaults the dummy without hesitation, to Hades' shock] You want a piece of me? Ooh ooh! You swine! Hyah, hyah! Teach you to call my dad useless! Get up! Get up!

Hercules and the Pool Party [1.9]

Zeus: We need to get to know each other better. Sit next to me at dinner.

Trivia: On the left or on the right? Did you know that sitting on the right hand of a god signifies power, while sitting on the left means you pass the condiments.

Zeus: Er, I just remembered, I already ate.

Hercules and the Prince of Thrace [1.10]

Hercules: Well, where do we find these apples?

Oracle at Delphi: Sorry. You'll have to go to the back of the line if you want to ask another question.

Hercules and the Living Legend [1.12]

Phil: Take care of that heel!

Achilles: Take care of that kid, huh?

Hercules and the Owl of Athens [1.14]

Fear: Say dad, okay, who is the god of war?

Ares: Me, you idiot!

Fear: Ha ha! The answer is "Me, you idiot!"

Hercules and the Hostage Crisis [1.19]

Member of POOTLS: We are the Peoples' Organisation Of Titanic Liberators. And you boys and girls are our hostages.

Icarus: Ooh! I always wanted to be a hostage! It's so edgy! The bewilderment! The unspeakable mind bending terror!

Cassandra: Actually, it's a lot like hanging out with you.

Hercules and the Big Sink [1.38]

Cassandra: The truth is that...that... [gets an actual vision] Atlantis is going to sink.

Croesus: That is so incredibly completely not what you were supposed to say!

Hercules and the Spartan Experience [1.41]

Adonis: Only a small cash payment to him saved my unblemished hands from the scars of manual labor.

Cadet: [cutting potatoes] Baked potatoes, mashed potatoes, sweet potato pie...

Adonis: Get me out of here!

Hercules and the Arabian Night [1.44]

Hades: [imitates Jafar] Good for you, you big scary booger-head, you! Ooh, boogah-boogah-boogah...Get him outta here, will ya, boys?

---

Phil: Hey let me go, I- [sees how hot Jasmine is] I'd like to introduce myself. Philoctetes, trainer of-

Jasmine: I'm married.

Hercules and the Romans [1.46]

Hades: [receiving his Roman name] They want to name me Pluto? What kind of name is that? Pluto, that's a name for a god? What is that? I wouldn't name my dog Pluto!

Hercules and the Yearbook [1.47]

Hercules: [opening Meg's yearbook] Oh, well lookie here. Our little Meg was [gasp] a cheerleader!

Meg: Give me that!

Season 2

Hercules and the First Day of School [2.1]

[When Hercules meets Cassandra for the first time]

Hercules: Nice to meet you, Cassandra.

Cassandra: I doubt it, but it's polite of you to say so.

---

[When Adonis is forcing Icarus to get him a drink instead of getting it himself]

Hercules: I'm going to talk to Adonis about this, it's just not fair!

Cassandra: Life got fair? Why wasn't I told?

---

Cassandra: Maturity!

Icarus: Perhaps the greatest foe of all!

Hercules and the Hero of Athens [2.6]

[It's believed Icarus defeated the Nemean Lion]

Olive factory owner: Brave lad, you don't know fear, do you?

Icarus: Well, we're acquaintances.

---

Icarus: (to the captive Nemean lion) I'm bad, you're sad! I'm tough, you're bluff! I'm... something and you're the negative of that something, buddy!

Hercules and the Gorgon [2.12]

[After Hercules discovered that Medusa is the Gorgon, the monster that turns people into stone]

Icarus: So, buddy boy! Did you ask Medusa out yet?

Hercules: Icarus, Medusa is the Gorgon.

Icarus: What?! The Gorgon?!

[Everyone at the malt shop heard what Icarus said and run out of the malt shop, screaming in fear]

Icarus: So, where are you gonna take her?

Hercules: Didn't you just hear what I said? She's the Gorgon, the monster that turns people into stone!

Icarus: Oh, Herc! A relationship is built on compromises.

Hercules: [face palms and groans, then grabs parts of Icarus' hair out of annoyance] Icarus, there is no relationship!

Icarus: Well, maybe there's not a lot of eye contact, but she had a winning personality. [gives Herc a sly look]

Hercules: [bangs on the table with his fist out of anger] She's a monster! A-a-a-a freak!

Icarus: [realizes this] Oh, I see. So, the hero's too good to have a freak for a friend, huh?! Whatcha gonna do, Herc? You're gonna get rid of her? You're gonna go stick her head in the purse?

Hercules: [confused] W-What? I...

Icarus: And then what?! You're gonna get rid of all the freaks, huh?! Oh, who's next, Herc? Freaks who flew too close to the sun?!

Hercules: I'll tell you what I'm gonna do - what should've done in the first place. [leaves the malt shop]

Hercules and the Green-Eyed Monster [2.13]

[When Icarus finds out his father is marrying Thespis]

Icarus: And don't accuse me of some evil, diabolical plan to get rid of Miss Thespius!

Hercules: Evil, diabolical plan?!

Icarus: Did I jump ahead?

Hercules: Icarus, you're not gonna do something stupid are you?

Icarus: Why no! [Laughs manically]

Hercules: Hey! You’re laughing evilly!

Icarus: Oh! I mean... ha, ha, ha, ha. Better?

---

[Hercules and Icarus see Pandora trying to get her lunch box out of her locker and evil spirits come flying out]

Icarus: Hey! Pandora! Do you own anything that isn't jammed with all the miseries that torment mankind?

Pandora: Err, not really. It's my thing.

[The lunch box shakes violently]

Icarus: Hey! Wait a minute, that's it! [Laughs manically]

Hercules: Hey, you’re laughing evilly again!

Icarus: Oh, right! I meant... ha, ha, ha. Better?

---

Cassandra: Icarus, you sound like a crazy person! I know I say that a lot, but this time I mean it.

Hercules: You always mean it.

Cassandra: Ok, but this time I mean it mean it.

---

Daedalus: [about Icarus] Can you talk some sense into him?

Hercules: I’m a demigod not a miracle worker!

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Unsorted

Aphrodite: Tuh! When are you people going to learn? Love is like plumbing, ok? Very complex, usually messy and best left to professionals.

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