The Flintstones

The Flintstones (1960-2009) is a Hanna-Barbera animated series set in a comically modernized Stone Age setting and centering on the Flintstone family.

Season 1 (1960)

Hot Lips Hannigan [1.2]

Wilma: Of all the dumb tricks you stupid pesky blockhead Fred Flintstone that trampoline business takes the cake. I'm very disappointed in you. And you've deliberately disobeyed me… I do not want to jump the trampoline again. Do you hear me. This trampoline is for kids.

Fred: Yes Wilma! Watch your mouth and stop calling me stupid pesky blockhead.

The Swimming Pool [1.3]

Barney: Why should I fill the pool for that hippopotamus next door?

Betty: Because the wife of that hippopotamus next door happens to be my best friend, that's why.

[cut to Fred and Wilma]

Wilma: The fence comes down because the wife of that little sawed off runt happens to be my best friend.

The Split Personality [1.5]

Barney: Frederick! Frederick! I HATE FREDERICK!

The Monster from the Tar Pits [1.6]

Wilma: He is a big movie star

The Engagement Ring [1.9]

Fred: The ring wasn't in the flour canister. So it's got to be in the batter. [slowly peeks around the corner]

Wilma: FRED!

Fred: AAH!

Wilma: What are you peeking around corners for?

The Drive-In [1.13]

Wilma Flintstone, Betty Rubble: [singing] Here we come / On the run / With a burger on a bun / And a dab of coleslaw on the side / Oh, your tastes we will tickle / With a cold dill pickle / And all of our potatoes are French fried, fried, fried / Our burgers can't be beat / Cuz we grind our own meat / Grind, grind, grind, grind, grind! / Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble... / Are to blame for all this trouble... [spoken] And if they think that we'll forget... [sung] They're outta their mind, mind, mind, mind, mi-i-ind!

The Hot Piano [1.19]

[Fred wants to buy a piano for Wilma for their 10th wedding anniversary, but tells the salesman he only has $50.00]

Salesman: For that amount you can buy the piano stool.

The Astranuts [1.23]

[Fred and Barney accidentally sign up for a 3 year hitch in the army]

General: Congratulations you just broke the record for going over the hill...3 minutes and 25 seconds! [Fred and Barney try to run away after signing up]

General: Are You crazy? I know a lot of GIs who would love to put a sergeant into orbit!

The Long, Long Weekend [1.24]

Gus Gravel: I never should have bet the payroll on the 5th race.

The Good Scout [1.26]

Wilma: [After Wilma sees Fred in Scout master uniform] I thought the army had hit the bottom of the barrel.

Room for Rent [1.27]

Betty: Men like our figures before marriage, but not afterward. [A pun on household checking account figures]

Season 2 (1961)

Alvin Brickrock Presents [2.4]

Fred: Okay but don't forget to reverse the charges on your alibi.

Alvin: Of course.

This is Your Life Saver [2.25]

The following scene has no characthers but a shadow moving on a sundial
Monday

Fred: Wilma, where's the sport section of the newspaper?

Wilma: I think Mr. Gypsum took it.

Tuesday

Fred: Wilma, where's the last bottle of Rocky Cola I was saving?

Wilma: I think Montague took it.

Wednesday

Fred: Wilma, where's that magazine I was reading?

Wilma: I think Monty took it.

Thursday

Fred: Oh, Wilma, where's that bottle of rat poison?

Wilma: FRED, YOU CAN'T!

Fred: WELL, He'S TAKEN Everything ELSE!

Trouble-in-Law [2.26]

Wilma and Betty: Melville J. Muchrocks is a crook.

Fred: Muchrocks a crook? Are you sure?

Wilma: Absolutely, he's wanted by the police.

Betty: We heard him described to a T.

Fred: Wilma, do you know where they went?

Wilma: They said they were going to the amusement park and then to dinner. Oh my poor mother.

Fred: Don't you worry sweetheart, you leave it to me. Barney.

Barney: Yeah Fred?

Fred: C'mon, let's go.

Barney: Right Fred.

Fred: You ever play football, Barney?

Barney: Yeah Fred, why?

Fred: Because you're going to run interference while I intercept a proposal.

The Rock Vegas Story [2.28]

Wilma: Have you made any plans, Fred?

Fred: Yeah. I figure we can sell the car and then we'll have enough money to eat.

Barney: While we're hitchhiking home.

Wilma and Betty: Hitchhiking home?

Wilma: Fred Flintstone! Did you lose all our money?

Fred: Yes Wilma.

Wilma and Betty: OOH! NOO!

Season 3 (1962)

Barney the Invisible [3.3]

Fred: Hey, maybe a drink of 412-up will help! [Barney is still hiccuping] Hold it Barney! Here, drink this! [Forcibly pours the concoction down Barney's throat]

Barney: Yuck! Woo, that tastes awful! I, uh, I feel kinda funny, Fred!

Fred: What do you mean, funny? [Barney starts wobbling and making weird noises] Barney! What's the matter? [Barney disappears] Oh boy... Barney, where are you?

Barney: I'm right in front of you! Boy, you must need glasses!

Fred: Huh?

Barney: That drink did the trick, Fred! The hiccups have completely disappeared!

Fred: And you with them, Barney! You're invisible!

Mother-in-Law's Visit [3.20]

Fred: I love my dear sweet mother in-law. My mother in-law is a doll.

Attendant: Are you feeling alright, mister?

Fred: Huh? Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay.

Attendant: Good. Good. You just stay in here and rest. That hot sun out there is a killer.

Fred: Poor guy, he must have been standing in it for hours.

Season 4 (1963)

Ann-Margrock Presents [4.1]

Ann-Margrock: [singing] You are still awake, and it's half past your bedtime. That sandman had a date he couldn't keep. But when the lambs commence to jump across the fence, I'll count them all until you fall asleep. The first little lamb jumped over the fence and was off to the land of nod. The second and the 3rd were close behind, like 3 little peas in a pod. The 4th little lamb was to chubby to jump. He crawled under instead. The 5th little lamb wasn't there at all. He must've stayed home in bed. Number 6 jumped around as confused as can be. He didn't know where he had been. He jumped over, that's true, but before he was through, he jumped over, jumped back, then jumped over again. The next little lamb was the littlest lamb. Too little for such a big leap. Though she tried like a stout, she soon tuckered out and the littlest lamb went to sleep. The littlest lamb is asleep.

Daddies Anonymous [4.13]

Wilma: Now you listen to me Fred Flintstone

Peek-a-Boo Camera [4.14]

TV Host: Hi, Peek-a-Boo fans! As you know, last week was one of our funniest shows, and we've received 000s of letters asking us to repeat it! [chuckles]

Fred: Oh no; they're repeating it!

TV Host: So, tonight, we'll show some of the funniest scenes from...the bachelor party!

Wilma: Fred!

Betty: Barney!

Wilma: Why, they told us they're going to a...FRED FLINTSTONE!

Betty: BARNEY RUBBLE!

Season 5 (1964)

Adobe Dick [5.14]

Fred: We got to get out of here before something worse happens.

Barney: Yeah, like he could burp us to death.

[Adobe Dick burps]

Fred: Cut it out, Barney! Stop giving him ideas!

Christmas Flintstone [5.15]

Betty: [upon seeing Fred dressed as Santa] Santa Claus! Am I glad to see you! I'd like a mink coat, three new dresses, some wall-to-wall furniture and...

Fred: Aw, cut it out, Betty. You know it's me.

Betty: Ah, I was afraid it might be. But just in case you were Santa, I didn't want to pass up the opportunity.

---

Fred: And to all of you from all of us...

Everyone: MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Time Machine [5.18]

[The Flintstones and Rubbles finally return to their own time]

Scientist: Hey, what happened?

Fred: Oh, nothing, except we were chased by lionosauruses, clobbered by Columbus, shocked in Philadelphia, trampled on, screamed at, and if that's how your time machine works, YOU can have it, buddy!

Season 6 (1965)

Rip Van Flintstone [6.8]

Man: You're a little late for Halloween, aren't ya, buddy?

Fred: You're not Barney.

Man: Who?

Fred: Barney Rubble. Doesn't he live here?

Man: [laughs] That's a hot one. B.J. Rubble the multimillionaire living here? You're a regular comedian, mister.

Fred: Barney Rubble a millionaire?

Man: Yeah, struck it rich in oil years ago. Mr. Rubble lives way up there on tip of that hill. Calls the estate Sandstone Simeon. Everyone knows about B.J. Rubble the millionaire. You must have been asleep for the last twenty years, pal.

Fred: Gee, maybe he's right. Maybe I have been asleep for twenty years, like in that Rip van Winklestone story. [starts crying] I've slept my whole life away! My family's gone, my friends disappeared, Barney is rich! Barney, he'll remember me! I'm his best friend and he'll know where Wilma and Pebbles are!

Recurring lines

Fred: Yabba Dabba Doo!

---

Barney: Hee hee hee... whatever you say, Fred!

---

Bamm-Bamm: Bamm, bamm!

---

Appliance animal: It's a living.

Unsorted quotes

Wilma: I work hard all day, too, and what do I get? A lot of yak from you. You at least get out everyday, see things, talk to people. I never get out of this cave.

---

Fred: Where's your get up and go?

Barney: It just got up and went.

---

Fred: Yeah, you laugh. You'll see, Barn, they know me in this bank, they'll help me right a way.

Bank Clerk: Look, pals, it's Fred Flintstone.

Fred: Yeah, hi. I'd like to lent some money here.

Bank Clerk: Ha ha ha ha! See that, pals? Fred Flintstone wants money. Ha ha ha ha ha!

---

Betty: Sometimes I just don't know what's the matter with men.

Barney: That's easy - you women!

---

Fred: How can you be so stupid?

Barney: Hey, that's not very nice. Say you're sorry.

Fred: I'm sorry you're stupid.

---

Wilma: Barney hasn't hit him yet.

Betty: Barney couldn't hit the floor with his hat!

About The Flintstones

• Here we were with a brand new thing that had never been done before, an animated prime-time television show. So we developed two storyboards; one was they had a helicopter of some kind and they went to the opera or whatever, and the other was Fred and Barney fighting over a swimming pool. So I go back to New York with a portfolio and two half-hour boards. And no-one would even believe that you'd dare to suggest a thing like that, I mean they looked at you and they'd think you're crazy. But slowly the word got out, and I used the presentation which took almost an hour and a half. I would go to the other two boards and tell them what they did, and do all the voices and the sounds and so-on, and I'd stagger back to the hotel and I'd collapse. The phone would ring like crazy, like one time I did Bristol-Myers, the whole company was there. When I got through I'd go back to the hotel the phone would ring and say "the president wasn't at that meeting, could you come back and do it for him." So I had many of those, one time I had two agencies, they'd fill the room I mean God about 40 people, and I did this whole show. I got to know where the laughs were, and where to hit it, nothing; dead, dead, dead. So one of the people at Screen Gems said "This is the worst, those guys...." he was so angry at them. What it was, was that there were two agencies there, and neither one was going to let the other one know they were enjoying it. But I pitched it for eight straight weeks and nobody bought it. So after sitting in New York just wearing out, you know really wearing out. Pitch, pitch, pitch, sometimes five a day. So finally on the very last day I pitched it to ABC, which was a young daring network willing to try new things, and bought the show in 15 minutes. Thank goodness, because this was the very last day and if they hadn't bought it I would have taken everything down, put it in the archives and never pitched it again. Sometimes I wake up in a cold-sweat thinking this is how close you get to disaster.
  • Joseph Barbera Leonard Maltin interviews Joseph Barbera, 1997

• A pen and ink disaster.
  • Variety, after the pilot; Leonard Maltin interviews Joseph Barbera-1997