Despicable Me

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Despicable Me is a 2010 American computer-animated 3-D feature film from Universal Pictures and Illumination Entertainment that was released on July 9, 2010 in the United States. The film stars Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand, Will Arnett, Kristen Wiig, Miranda Cosgrove, Dana Gaier, Elsie Fisher, and Julie Andrews.

Contents

[edit] Gru

  • Light bulb.
  • (about Vector who stole the shrink ray Gru stole and shrunk his ship) I hate that guy.
  • (to Agnes) Did you brush your teeth? (Agnes nods) Let me smell, Let me smell (Agnes opens her mouth, Gru sniffs and nearly gags) You did not!
  • Listen close, you little punk, when I get in there, you are in for a world of pain!
  • You've got to be pulling on my leg.
  • That book was accidentally destroyed maliciously.
  • We stole the Statue of Liberty! (Minions cheer) The small one from Las Vegas.
  • (To his minions) What did we do? Well, we stole the Times Square JumboTron! Nice.(all cheering)Huh? Yeah, you all like watching football on that, huh? That's how I roll.
  • Watch this. (monotone) Leave a message. Beep.

[edit] Vector

  • (stealing the shrink ray Gru stole) Now maybe you'll think twice before you freeze someone's head! So long, Gru!
  • (after shrinking his toilet) Oh, look at you. A little, tiny toilet for a little, tiny baby-- (the toilet is blown off and water sprays Vector in the face) AAAHH! Curse you, tiny toilet!
  • (as he is falling after being shocked off of Gru's spaceship) My flight suit! (pulls a string that releases flaps like a flying squirrel. Vector starts flying) Oh yeah! Once again, the mighty Vec- (slams into an electrical tower, which shocks him and sends him falling, screaming)
  • Squid launcher! Oh yeah!
  • Don't worry. The moon is as good as ours.
  • (playing with the shrink ray) Oh yeah! You done been shrunk!
  • (realizing he's on the moon) Oh poop.
  • (from the trailer) When I'm done with Gru, he's gonna be begging for mercy!
  • OH YEAH!!!!!
  • They are Not Pajamas!!

[edit] The Girls

Edith
  • When we got adopted by a bald guy, I thought this would be more like Annie.
  • It poked a hole in my juice box.
  • Somebody broke that.
Agnes
  • (About a stuffed unicorn) It's so fluffy I'm gonna DIE!!!
  • Pinky promise?
  • (to Gru) Will you read us a bedtime story?
  • (sung) Unicorns, I love them. Unicorns, I love them. Uni-uni-unicorns, I love them. Uni-unicorns. I could pet one if they were really real, and they are! So I bought one so I could pet it. Now it loves me. Now I love it. La-la-la-la-la.
Margo
  • (Hugging Gru) I love you.
  • Hello! Cookies for sale!

[edit] Dialogue

Dave the minion: [peeking out the window] Big guy! Big guy! [shudders] Big guy!
Agnes: But Mister Gru's not back yet!
Margo: [delivering Vector his cookies, some of which are robots] Four boxes of Mini-Mints, two Toffee-Totes, two Caramel Clumpies, and... fifteen boxes of Coconutties.
Vector: Exactly. I'd like to see somebody else order that many cookies. Not likely. Name one person who ordered more cookies than me.
Margo: [unimpressed] That'll be $52.
Vector: Right. [going through his wallet] Seven, eight, nine-
Agnes: Why are you wearing pajamas?
Vector: [scoffs] These aren't pajamas! It's a warm-up suit.
Edith: What are you warming up for?
Vector: Stuff.
Margo: What sort of stuff?
Vector: Super cool stuff you wouldn't understand.
Agnes: Like sleeping?
Vector: They are not pajamas!
Agnes: Aww, my caterpillar never turned into a butterfly.
Edith: That's a Cheeto.
Agnes: Oh. [she eats it]
[Dr. Nefario has given a minion an experimental anti-gravity drink; the minion floats up and out of the skylight]
Dr. Nefario: I meant to close that. He'll be all right, I'm sure.
Gru: Do the effects wear off?
Dr. Nefario: Uh, so far, no... no they don't. [Gru looks up to see ten minions floating about on the ceiling] Here's the new weapon you ordered. [shoots minion with the fart gun, knocking him out]
Gru: No, no, no. I said dart gun, not- [stops and starts fanning the scent away] Fart Ray.
Dr. Nefario: Oh! Yes. 'Cause I was wondering... under what circumstances would we use this?
Gru: Hello, Fred. FYI. Your dog has been leaving little bombs in my yard, and I do not appreciate it.
Fred McDade, neighbor: Oh you know dogs... they go where they want to go.
Gru: Unless they're dead. [laughs] Just kidding! Oh, though it is true.
Gru: Clearly, we need to set some ground rules. Rule number one: you will not touch anything.
Margo: Uh-huh. What about the floor?
Gru: Yes, you may touch the floor.
Margo: What about the air?
Gru: Yes, you may touch the air.
Edith: (holding one of Gru's weapons) What about this?
(Gru looks at it, lets out a startled cry, and holds up a pan for protection)
Gru: Where did you get that?
Edith: Found it.
[Gru takes the weapon]
Gru: Okay. Rule number two: you will not bother me while I'm working. Rule number three: you will not cry or whine or laugh or giggle or sneeze or burp or fart. So no-no-no annoying sounds.
Agnes: Does this count as annoying? [she lets go of Margo's hand and puckles her cheeks; Gru grabs her hands, looking very angry]
Gru: Very. [sighs irritably]
[Gru is pressured into stopping at the amusement park; they pass by one stall]
Agnes: AAH! Oh my gosh! Look at that fluffy unicorn! He's so fluffy I'm gonna die!
Margo: You gotta let us play for it.
Gru: No, no, no. No-no-no-no.
Agnes: C'mon!
Gru: [in a dull and bored tone] How much for the fluffy unicorn?
Carney Guy: Well, you see, it's not for sale. But all you gotta do, to win it, is knock down that little spaceship there. Ha! It's easy!
[He points to a small plastic spaceship, which has a scary face on it; Gru sighs and hands him a dollar. The girls play, but lose]
Agnes: Just one more? I accidentally closed my eyes.
[Gru gives in and hands over another dollar. The girls play, and this time, Agnes shoots a ball that hits the ship, but doesn't knock it over. Girls cheer until the sign overhead blinks the words "YOU LOSE!"]
Gru: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! What was that? She hit that! I saw that with my own eyes!
Carney Guy: Hey buddy, let me explain something to you. You see that little tin spaceship? Ya see how it's not knocked over? Do you know what that means, professor? It means you don't get the unicorn! Oooh! Uh, oh, someone's got a frowny face! Oooo, better luck next time!
Gru: [when Agnes gives him a puppy dog pout] OK. My turn. [He gives the Carney Guy a dollar and the girls step aside. Gru whips out a blaster gun, aims, and fires; the Carney Guy ducks. There is an explosion, and the spaceship turns to ash] Knocked oooverrr!
Agnes: [after she is finally given the unicorn] It's so fluffy!
Margo: That...was awesome.
Edith: You blew up the whole thing!
Agnes: Let's go destroy another game!
Edith: [about the liquid in the beaker] Can I drink this?
Dr. Nefario: [taking the beaker] Do you want to explode?! [Edith kicks Dr. Nefario in the shin and he yowls in pain] GRU!
Gru: Get back in the kitchen!
Agnes: Will you play with us?
Gru: No.
Agnes: Why?
Gru: Because, I'm busy.
Margo: Doing what?
Gru: Okay, you got me. The dentist thing is more of a hobby. In real life, I am a spy. And it is top secret and you must not tell anybody! Because if you do--
Edith: What does this do? [shoots the laser beam at Agnes' plush unicorn toy, disintegrating it]
Gru: Hey!
Edith: Oops.
Agnes: My unicorn! You have to fix it.
Gru: What? It disintegrated. By definition, it cannot be fixed. [Agnes starts holding her breath] That's freaking me out. What is she doing?
Margo: She's gonna hold her breath until she gets a new one.
Gru: [sighs] It is just a toy, now stop it. [Agnes faints] Okay, Okay! I'll fix it! Tim! Mark! Phil! [three minions come in] This is very important. You have to get the little girl a new unicorn toy.
Minion #1: Eh? Papoi? [gibberish]...papoi?
Minion #2: No-no-no-no-no-no. Ba-boy.
Minion #1: Ah, Papoy! [the third minion chuckles]
Gru: Hey, hey, hey! A toy!
Minion #1: Da, da, da. Papoy. [scoffs]
Gru: Go, and hurry! [the three minions walk off]
Margo: What are those?
Gru: They are my...cousins. Jerry! Stuart! [two more minions walk in] Watch them and keep them away from me, please.
Edith: Are these beds made out of bombs?
Gru: Yes, but they are very old and highly unlikely to blow up. But try not to toss and turn.
[Dr. Nefario activates a set of robots that begin dancing under disco lights. One of the minions jumps in and joins them. Gru stares in confusion.]
Gru: Question. What are these?
Dr. Nefario: (while dancing around) A dozen boogie robots! BOOGIE! (laughs) Look at this! Watch me!
Gru: (turning off the music) Cookie robots. I said cookie robots! Ugh, why must you be so...old?
Dr. Nefario: Okay, I'm on it.
[Gru turns on the TV which shows Mr. Perkins]
Gru: Sorry to bother you Mr. Perkins, but I think you might want to see this! (shows the shrink ray) Huh? (shrinks one of his minions)
Mr. Perkins: Well now Gru, that's very impressive.
Gru: So, the rest of the plan is simple: (shows a picture) I fly to the moon. (shows another picture) I shrink the moon. (shows another picture) I grab the moon. (shows a poorly drawn picture) I sit on the toilet... wait; WHAT?! (the girls laugh) Sorry. Sorry! Could you excuse me for just one second? (to the girls) What are you doing?! I told you, don't touch my things, I told you, told you, told you a thousand times!
Margo: Can we order pizza?
Gru: Pizza?! You just had lunch!
Edith: Not now, for dinner.
Gru: Dinner? Just-- Fine, fine, whatever. Just get back in there!
Margo: Can we get stuffed crust!
Edith, Agnes and Minion: Ooo, stuffed crust.
Gru: I'LL STUFF YOU ALL IN THE CRUST!
Agnes: (laughs) You're funny!
Gru: Just don't come out of that room again. (closes the door; to Mr. Perkins) Sorry about that. Where were we?
Mr. Perkins: You were sitting on the toilet.
Gru: No, no, no. That was a little attempt to humor. I know how much you love to laugh... (Mr. Perkins looks at him angrily) ...inside. So, anyway... (notices the door open)
Mr. Perkins: You don't seem terribly focused, Gru.
Gru: Believe me, I am completely focused.
Edith: Look at that guy! He's huge.
Agnes: Are we on TV?
Mr. Perkins: What are those, children?!
Gru: What are you doing?! I told you to stay out of here! (chases the girls out of the room then backs away when Edith and Agnes aim the freeze ray at him) No, no, no!
Edith: Freeze ray!
Mr. Perkins: Mr. Gru?
Gru: (his body is frozen except his head, his arms, and his butt) As I was saying--
Mr. Perkins: No need to continue, I've seen quite enough.
Gru: But my plan--
Mr. Perkins: Is a great plan, I love every little thing about you're little plan, except for one thing: you.
Young Gru: Look, Mom! I drew a picture of me landing on the moon.
Gru's Mom: [looks at Gru's picture] Ehh.
Young Gru: Look, Mom! I made a prototype of the rocket out of macaroni.
Gru's Mom: [looks at he macaroni prototype] Ehh.
Young Gru: [excitedly] Look, Mom! I made a real rocket, based on the macaroni prototype. [presses button and sends rocket into space]
Gru's Mom: [looks at Gru's rocket as it flies off] Ooo... [looks back at Gru] Ehh.
(Gru knocks down and breaks the ice)
Gru: I don't understand.
Mr. Perkins: Let's face reality, Gru. You've been at this for far too long with far too little success.
Gru: But I--
Mr. Perkins: It's over. Goodbye, Gru. (crushes an apple and the TV turns off)
Minion: Tela, telabanana calacamunitchinubi HEEYY calatchencalacuba bola pelabanana!

[edit] Cast

[edit] External links

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