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ALFRED E. NUEMAN Quotes 
- Getting old is when a narrow waist and a broad mind change places
- How come stealing from one book is plagiarism, but stealing from many is research?
- Teenagers are people who act like babies if they're not treated like adults
- A teacher is someone who talks in our sleep
- Blood is thicker than water . . . but it makes lousy lemonade
- "Prison inmates are treated to cable TV, hot meals and a college education, while on the outside some people can only afford these things through a life of crime!"
- "Thank's to the new welfare bill, the question "Paper or plastic?" now refers to many American's sleeping arrangements!"
- "In retrospect it becomes clear that hindsight is definitely overrated!"
- "Most people are so lazy, they don't even exercise good judgement!"
- "If opera is entertainment, then falling off a roof is transportation!"
- "A college jock is someone who minds his build instead of vice versa!"
188.8.131.52 03:10, 22 July 2010 (UTC)
PART II 
- "How come we choose from just two people for President, and fifty for Miss America?"
- "Who says nothing is impossible? Some people do it every day!"
- "You can be on the right track and still get hit by a train!"
- "The U.N. is a place where governments opposed to free speech demand to be heard!"
- "A plastic surgeon's office the only place where no one gets offended when you pick your nose!"
- "Smoking helps you lose weight -- one lung at a time!"
- "Today, if you ask a car dealer to let you see something for 10 grand, he'll show you the door!"
"Medical insurance is what allows people to be ill at ease!" 184.108.40.206 03:15, 22 July 2010 (UTC)
Mad (TV series) 
Should there be a page on this wiki of quotes from the Mad TV show on Cartoon Network? I'm just asking. User:MrJoshbumstead