Total Drama World Tour
Total Drama World Tour is the third season of the Total Drama franchise that began with Total Drama Island and Total Drama Action. The series extension was commissioned by Teletoon from the producers, Fresh TV, Inc. In this series, fifteen returning contestants and three new contestants are taken on a trip around the world, and compete in cultural themed challenges of countries they visit.
- 1 Walk Like an Egyptian - Part 1
- 2 Walk Like an Egyptian - Part 2
- 3 Super Crazy Happy Fun Time Japan
- 4 Anything Yukon Do, I Can Do Better
- 5 Broadway Baby
- 6 Aftermath: Bridgette Over Troubled Waters
- 7 Slap Slap Revolution
- 8 The Am-AH-zon Race
- 9 Can't Help Falling In Louvre
- 10 Newf Kids On The Block
- 11 Jamaica Me Sweat
- 12 Aftermath 2: Revenge Of The Telethon
- 13 I See London...
- 14 Greece In Pieces
- 15 The Ex-Files
- 16 Picnic At Hanging Dork
- 17 Sweden Sour
- 18 Aftermath 3: Aftermayhem
- 19 Niagara Brawls
- 20 Chinese Fake-Out
- 21 African Lying Society
- 22 Rapa-phooey
- 23 Awwww, Drumheller
- 24 =Aftermath 4: Hawaiian Style
- 25 Planes, Trains, and Codymobiles
- 26 Hawaiian Punch
Walk Like an Egyptian - Part 1
- Chris: Season Three of Total Drama, folks! The world is gonna be mine, sea to shining sea! Sadly, I'm forced to share my world with a three-ring team traveling freak show!
(a white and blue bus arrives)
Chris: They'll be competing all around the globe for another million dollars! So, let's meet our players! Courtney! Duncan! Heather! Gwen! Leshawna!
(Gwen bumps into Heather)
Gwen: Are there reserved seats? I mean, can I have one not behind Heather's pony hair ponytail?
Heather: Um, my extensions are human hair!
Duncan: You learn something new every day.
- Harold: Aerophobia. From the Latin, as opposed aeronausiphobia, the fear of flying sickness.
Noah: Keep up the fascinating facts and I'm gonna be aero-nauseous all over you.
- Ezekiel: Yo, yo, yo! This year's winner is in the house, eh, bus, I mean...runwayyyy! Where's the plane, eh?
Izzy: (behind Ezekiel) I know, right?! Let's fly! (jumps on Ezekiel's shoulders)
Ezekiel: Whoa! Watch out! (both of them fall backwards)
- Chris: And now to mix things up and keep it all fresh, we're adding two new competitors! He's an honor-roll student with a diplomat for a dad and an amazing ability to charm the pants off most species. Alejandro!
(Spanish music plays as Alejandro steps out of the bus and removes his sunglasses)
Alejandro: Perhaps, I could assist. (helps Bridgette and Izzy up)
Izzy: (after Alejandro helps her and Bridgette up) Wow-ie!
Bridgette: I-I have a boyfriend!
Alejandro: And amigos, please, allow me. (offers to help up Tyler and Ezekiel)
Ezekiel: Wow, eh.
Tyler: I like girls!
- Chris: And she's a sugar addicted super fan with sixteen Total Drama blogs! Sierra!
(Sierra comes running out of the bus)
Sierra: Oh my gosh, I love you guys! And this is the greatest day of my life! (hyperventilates) Anyone got a paper bag I can breathe into? (notices someone off-screen and runs towards it, revealing it to be Cody) Oh my gosh, Cody! I've dreamt of this moment! Only you weren't wearing a shirt!
- Courtney: (referring to the Total Drama Jumbo Jet) Excuse me, but I'd like to express some concern about the safety of our plane.
Chris: Relax, it's perfectly safe! (a part of the jet falls, and a raccoon runs out of it) Now boarding!
Owen: No! I can't ride in that! Call the United Nations, call a cab, call my Mom! I'm not doing this, I'm out! This is unethical!
Chris: (walks over to Owen with a frying pan in his hand and hits him in the head off-screen with it)
Owen: (in a high-pitched voice) Mommy.
Chris: Anyone else got a problem with it?
Lindsay: Love it!
Bridgette: Dibs on the window seat!
- Chris: Now boarding on a voyage to a million big ones! We're saving you a first class seat for all the action! Right here on Total! Drama! (sings) Woooorld Tour!
- Gwen: Singing? Really? I thought Chris was joking about that!
Courtney: Well, I don't have a problem with it.
Leshawna: Yeah, 'cause you like singing!
Duncan: Well, I don't! Girls sing. Little birdies sing. Ha-ha. Duncans do not sing.
- Chris: Any-who, this is the dining area, where you'll enjoy in-flight meals.
Ezekiel: Not for long, eh! Prepare to lose to The Zeke!
Gwen: Okay, so not trying to be mean here, but (puts her hand on Ezekiel's 00shoulder) you do know that you got voted out first last time, right?
Ezekiel: Word! And I spent every minute since making sure that don't happen again! I'm stronger, faster, smarter-
Chris: Chattier, blabbier, can't-shut-upier... now zip it and let me finish this tour so we can get this bird in flight!
- Leshawna: Is there a ladies room?
Chris: Just through there.
Leshawna: Good, cause I gotta make a deposit! (walks into restroom and then finds a camera) There's a camera in the potty... AGAIN?!?!? UGGH!!! Can't a sister get a little privacy on this program?!
- Sierra: OMG, Chris, I am just LOL!
- Ezekiel: We should hit the winners' compartment, eh? Cause I ain't never gonna sit back here! Hah, never!
Noah: Is "never" your policy on mouthwash too, homeschool?
- Chris: If you don't receive a barf bag full of airline-issue peanuts...
Ezekiel: I got a peanut allergy, yo... or more like a sensitivity.
Chris: ...you'll be forced to take the Drop of Shame.
Ezekiel: Okay, I just don't like--
Chris: Kinda like this! (grabs Ezekiel and throws him off the moving plane)
Ezekiel: HEY!!! (laughs) Good one, eh! Now, slow down and let my bling back in!
Chris: All eliminations are final, bro!
- DJ: (referring to Alejandro) That guy's smooth as mama's gravy!
Tyler: But Lindsay's supposed to like me!
DJ: Ha-hah! No one can compete with gravy!
- Heather: (in cockpit confessional) I can see right through that guy! You know this extra confessional is a thousand times nicer than talking in the toilet!
Chef Hatchet: Maybe for you, I'm trying to prep for a flight here.
Heather: Hello?! Venting! Shhhh! Anyway, new guy is so transparent, sooo fake, sooo--
Chef Hatchet: Deliciously seductive?
Heather: That is exactly the opposite of what I was trying to say!
Chef Hatchet: Pretty good looking guy, to boot. I'm just sayin'!
Heather: Ugh! Forget this!
- Heather: (in washroom confessional) Anyway, with Beth gone, and Lind-siot and Ale-whatever looking like a real threat, my only strategic option is to make friends with the new girl. But pretending to like that is going to be hard! I do not heart the new girl!
- Chef: (on the intercom) Enough singing, fruitcakes! Strap yourselves in; we are now beginning our descent into Egypt. (to himself) Musical numbers... worst idea ever. Chris is such an idiot. (Chris gasps, then looks annoyed) Hey, why's the PA light still on... ? Oh sh- (intercom cuts off).
- Chris: (after a bell rings) Whenever you hear that friendly little bell, it's musical number time! So, let's hear it.
Courtney: But, what are we supposed to sing?
Chris: You have to make it up as you go. Wouldn't be challenging otherwise now, would it?
- Leshawna: An eleven hour flight, Chef's in-flight cuisine, a forced musical number, and now we got a challenge?
- Harold: Aluminum foil means the aliens can't read your brain. That's a real problem in this area.
- Ezekiel: (running towards everybody) Wait up, yo! You guys! Wait up! (slides heel against sand to slow down, then runs up to Chris) I told ya I wasn't gonna lose this time, eh!
Chris: Didn't we leave you in like, Halifax or Whitehorse? Or whatever?
Ezekiel: It's called landing gear, homie. I climbed it, and hid with the cargo.
Chris: Impressive, but... you're still out.
Ezekiel: No way! I'm in it to win it! Word!
Chris: Hey, it's your funeral. (pauses) Set. GO! (Chris clashes the cymbals together in Ezekiel's face, causing him to flinch as everybody else runs)
- Noah: Oh great, our friendly neighborhood host dude failed to mention there were different paths.
- Owen: How do we know which way's right?
Izzy: I know! Okay, I saw this in a spy movie once. You lick your finger and hold it up to find the air flow! (Izzy licks her finger) Mmmm! The sand really crunches in your teeth. Fun!
- Izzy: Oh, look! We're in the nurse's office.
- Noah: It's a pyramid, not a High School.
- (Duncan, Courtney, and Gwen are climbing up the pyramid)
Courtney: (to Gwen) And your form is appalling!
Gwen: (sarcastically) Gee, thanks Courtney, I was just wondering about that!
Courtney: You know, you're only here because I'm feeling nice today.
Gwen: Wow, this is you being nice? (to Duncan) My sympathies!
Courtney: Are you hearing this, Duncan?! You're not gonna let her get away with that!
(Duncan glares back at the two girls, then lets out a frustrated sigh)
- Izzy: Guys, guys, guys! How about another musical number?! (starts singing) A pyramid is just a triangle with room inside. I would be awesome as Frankenstein's bride.
- Tyler: Is it too late to go under instead?
Lindsay: Alejandro's doing okay. He's like, the super cutest mountain goat in the world!
Tyler: Wait! I can be a goat!
Alejandro: May I be of assistance? (takes Bridgette and Lindsay's hands and helps them up the pyramid)
Tyler: (once Lindsay accepts Alejandro's help up the pyramid) Lindsay! I'm a goat! Bahhh!
- DJ: (seeing a mummified dog) That's a real dog! Poor little guy.
Leshawna: DJ! We do not have time to cry over a stuffed dog!
DJ: Hey there, little buddy. Wish I had a biscuit to give 'ya.
(DJ attempts to pet the mummified dog, but it breaks into pieces)
DJ: What did I do?! What did I do?!
- Ezekiel: (alone inside the pyramid) Guys? Anybody? (Notices an object resembling an intercom in the wall) An intercom? What the shizzle? (into the intercom) Yo, playas! Is this thing on? (Presses it, causing a trapdoor in the ceiling to open, which drops a pile of bandages and several ancient Egyptian artifacts on top of him)
- Alejandro: (discovering Tyler, Owen and Noah on his team) That's... wonderful! (cuts to Alejandro in the lavatory confessional) (bleep) Que idiotas! (bleep) Incompetentes! (bleep)!
- Duncan: You know what? No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Three hours of these two squawking on this stupid pyramid in this stupid heat, and you want me to sing?! FORGET IT!
Chris: Dude, you have a contract.
Duncan: Eat it, McLean! If you need me, I'll be in the plane waiting for a ride home 'cause I'm out. Done. I quit!
Courtney and Gwen: (gasps)
- Cody: (In confessional) Girls on the rebound are the best! They cry, and then you get to buy them a pop and listen and then, well, they still won't go out with you, but you get to buy them a pop!
- Ezekiel: (Sarcastically) Thanks for all the help, you knobs.
- Tyler: (on choosing the team name) Team number one and number two!
Sierra: Got it! Team Chris Is Really Really Really Really Hot!
Alejandro, Noah, Owen and Tyler: What?!
Chris: Alright! Best team name ev-er.
- Chris: Team Chris is Really, Really, Really, Really, Really Hot-
Alejandro: I think there were only four "reallys."
- Leshawna: So the guys who come in last get a camel and we get a stick?!
Walk Like an Egyptian - Part 2
- Sierra: (Confessional) OK, I'm the number one Total Drama superfan. It says so right in my blog. But Alejandro? He's never even been on TV before! I've never seen him in Cutie Monthly. I do not know what those girls see in him. They're loco.
- Owen: Brilliant plan, Alehandout...or Alakazam...ah, I'm just gonna call you Al.
- Heather: Does anyone know where we are?
- Izzy: (Laughs) Planet Earth, silly!
Super Crazy Happy Fun Time Japan
- Alejandro: (after rescuing Leshawna from flying out of the plane) Such beauty will not fall through giant airplane holes on my watch!
- Harold: I could have done that. I just prefer to leave the ladies wanting more.
- DJ: She wants more, all right. More Alejandro!
- Harold: DJ, you know nothing about women.
- Leshawna: You can put me down now, I mean, if you want to, or not, your choice, because this is nice.
- Alejandro: (charming a panda) Why hello, handsome creature. May I scratch your ears or get you a tasty cookie? (Panda smiles)
- Owen: (Pretending to be a monster on camera) Grrr! Monster noises!
Anything Yukon Do, I Can Do Better
- Cody: Whah... SIERRA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
- Sierra: Everybody loves a foot massage!
- Cody: Yeah, normally. But uh, i don't like having my feet touched.
- Sierra: Did you know there's a pressure point between the tarsal bones that could temporarily paralyze the body?
- Cody: Uh, that's interesting, but you can stop now- (Sierra presses that pressure point.)
- Bridgette: (in the confessional) When Geoff's around, I'm never tempted by other guys. Probably because when Geoff's around, we're always making out. But now that's it's just me...I miss Geoff?
- Bridgette: I kind of have a boyfriend.
- Alejandro: You have a boyfriend or you kind of have a boyfriend?
- Bridgette: I kind of...I have a kind of...a boyfriend...kind of. (In the confessional) I got flustered. But I am NOT falling for him! Mark my words.
- Alejandro: (Giving Bridgette his shirt to wear in the cold) I can't freeze. My Latin blood won't allow it. And if you get sick and your team votes you off, I won't get to know you better, which would make me very, very sad.
- Bridgette: I don't want to make anyone...sad...(confessional) I mean, who gives away their shirt in the Arctic? Oh, he is just so...(gasps) I have a boyfriend!
- Chris: Bridgette, any final words?
- Bridgette: (Muffled by the pole) Yes! Alejandro, he's evil! He's pretending to be-
- Chris: Oh, would you look at the time! (Pushes Bridgette out of the plane)
- Izzy: Awww, look at Big O! His fear of flying is so adorable! (Owen is sleeping on a couch, bundled in ropes. He then falls on the floor, revealing he was sleeping on Noah all night.)
- Noah: (relieved and tired) UHHH! FINALLY! Thanks for not noticing I was MISSING all night! What am I, Tyler?
- Tyler: HEY! (he spits the food in his mouth at a clearly angered Alejandro.)
- Heather: Stupid economy section! What is that horrible smell?!
- Gwen: Defeat?
- Courtney: I could of pulled the sled faster if someone wasn't whipping me!
- Heather: We both know that's not true.
- Courtney: Ugh!
- Gwen: First chance we get, I'll totally help you vote her off.
- Courtney: Gladly, can we whip her off?!
- Heather: Whip me off? Ha! Not if I can prove my worth to the team. Or manipulate Sierra and Cody into slavishly obeying me. Whatever works!
- Alejandro: Central Park is so romantic, don't you find?
- Heather: Whatever. I know you've been messing with Sierra's head, so back off or you'll wish you had.
- Alejandro: My wish doesn't involve backing off.
- Heather: Ugh! Just go play with your stupid team and leave us alone!
- Alejandro: You're beautiful when you play hard to get.
Aftermath: Bridgette Over Troubled Waters
- Blaineley: Eva, can you tell us what you saw?
- Eva: Like, a whole bunch of dumb girls chasing Harold, Justin, and Trent.
- Blaineley: A-and what did these girls look like?
- Eva: Dumb, like a bunch of dumb girls in dumb plaid skirts. Like, kilts.
- Blaineley: Kilts, a school bus... could be a private girls school! Eva, what color were the kilts?
- Eva: Plaid and dumb. Aw, forget this!
- Bridgette: Ale-henious was playing every girl out there! We all fell for it!
- Geoff: Some harder than others. Imagine if the tables were turned!
- Bridgette: You probably would've kissed him too! He's that good!
- Bridgette: You're so much better than that pole...
(Beth and the pole are backstage)
- Beth: Ouch. Sorry. Guess you guys just weren't meant to be. (Puts her arm around the pole) So, what are you doing later?
Slap Slap Revolution
- Sierra: MEAT CODY, NOOO!
- Noah: Woo-woo! All aboard Der Weiner Express.
- Sierra: (Confessional) I'm like a tenth generation slap dancer! It's what kept me alive on the school playground, and probably why I didn't make any friends. But who needs friends when you have a Cody?
- Alejandro: I'm disappointed, Heather. You're above petty teasing.
- Heather: (In the confessional) No, I'm not! Ugh, I would like to slap that arrogant jerk right in those-
- Leshawna: (Confessional) Anyone who Heather can't stand must be good!
- DJ: Stay on the platform, Leshawna!
- Leshawna: I'm not going anywhere!
- Alejandro: That's it! Seize the day!
- Heather: Ugh! She's not even on your team!
- Leshawna: Ow! I'M GONNA SEIZE THE YOU! YOU HAD THIS COMING FOR 3 SEASONS!
The Am-AH-zon Race
- Owen: (After accidentally punching Alejandro in the eye) Al, what happened?
- Alejandro: Nothing a little ice and revenge won't fix.
- Owen: Cool...Did you say revenge?
- Alejandro: Of course not. Off-topic, do you have any serious allergies?
- Owen: (Confessional) Sometimes I get the feeling that Al might slightly not totally like me. Punching him in the face probably didn't help...unless he likes that kind of thing. Fingers crossed!
- Owen: You're my only real friend?
- Alejandro: It would seem so, Owen.
- Owen: Wow, I've never been so scared of a friend before.
- Heather: (After losing the challenge) I wish there was someone we could blame for all this (fake sweetness)...morning, Gwen!
- Gwen: (waking up) Did we win?
- Sierra: (Voting confessional) I vote for Heather! I used to say that every night in my bathroom mirror! Now, here I am doing it! This is so awesome.
Can't Help Falling In Louvre
- Lindsay: There's only one guy I want to share this with, the guy I've been dreaming about since we've been apart! Where's my Tyler?
- Tyler: Hey, Linds.
- Lindsay: Are you sure that's you? Cause you look slightly different in my head.
- Alejandro: Everything looks slightly different in her head.
- Heather: (Judging DJ's model and fashion design) Dry, dull, uninspiring, not a hint of effort with the presentation. But enough about Gwen, the shirt was a 10!
- Chris: I agree. Model sucked, shirt good. I'd wear it.
Newf Kids On The Block
- Heather: (Confessional, about Alejandro) Oh, he is good. (Sighs dreamily, static) I want the tape. Give me the tape! How do you open this thing?
- Gwen: (Confessional) You know, Heather really shouldn't let her obvious crush on Alejandro get in the way of the game. Having a relationship with Duncan really screwed things up for me last season - Trent! I meant Trent! Just a slip of the tongue. (Static) I want that tape back! Give me the tape! How do you open this thing?
- Courtney: I am a CIT!
- Heather: More like a B-I-T-C-
- Gwen: Guys, let's get going!
- Courtney: (Confessional) Okay, fine. So I did let a guy get in the way of how I played the game. I just can't stop thinking about how Duncan could just abandon me like this, and I...I messed up. Did I just say that on air? (Static) I want that tape back! Give me the tape! Oh! How do you open this thing?
Jamaica Me Sweat
- Owen: No biggie, just a concussion. Could you parents my phone and worry them not to tell...Santa?
- Chris: Will the plane be fixed so we can leave here while I'm still young?
- Noah: I don't know. Did we land in the Seventies?
Aftermath 2: Revenge Of The Telethon
- Blaineley: (showing footage of Alejandro) Check it out, Bridgette. Audience surveys showed that people loved it when you drooled over Fabulandro.
- Bridgette: I'm sorry, but I have a boyfriend. (puts a bag over her head) I'm not even looking.
- Blaineley: Keep those donations coming, and I'll keep the drama coming! Oh, Bridgette, you have got to see this!
- Bridgette: Stop it, Blaineley. (weakly) Uh...has he got his ponytail in?
- Bridgette: Thank you for being so cool about this, babe. You're the best.
- Geoff: It's easy to be cool when I've got you by my side, babe. (they kiss)
- Blaineley: No! No kissing! Aw, you ruined all the drama!
I See London...
- Owen: Why don't you like Al? He's great.
- Noah: I don't trust the guy. He's like an eel dipped in grease, swimming in motor oil.
- Owen: Dirty?
- Noah: Slippery. Think about it. He's like Heather, only with social skills.
- All current contestants except Gwen and Courtney: (gasps) Duncan?!
- Duncan: You brought me back here?! (grunts) Where's the stupid exit again?
- Chris: Not so fast, quitter! Thought you could skip out on the game, eh? Thought I wouldn't find you, mmm?
- Gwen: Um, you didn't, we did. (Courtney nods in agreement) Sorry.
- Chris: And that's why Team Amazon wins today's competish.
- Team Amazon: YES!!
- Noah and Owen: WHAT?!
- Chris: Head on back to the elimination room, dudes. First class goes to the ladies. (Cody and Sierra smile) As a consolation prize, the D-man's now on your team, but someone else is gonna have to go.
- Noah and Owen: Uh-oh!
- Courtney: (to Duncan) And how could you think it was okay to just leave like that?! Because it was not! Ugh! Abandon me again, and it will not be pretty. Now, get over here, you big lug! (hugs him) I'm not really mad, I just missed you.
- Duncan: (to Gwen, who just walked in) Every time I ran from the cops, I thought of you.
- Chris: And with three votes against him, Noah! (in English accent) It's time to say, "Tally ho! Pip pip! Cheerio! Tootle loo-"
- Noah: Ugh! If I jump, will you stop?!
- Owen: Goodbye, buddy! I'll win for you!
- Noah: Whatev, just beware of eels! (Alejandro smiles)
- Gwen: (in confessional; sighs) I don't know how everybody else can sleep, especially Courtney. I'm still fuzzy, like I drank too much coffee, you know? (remembers she's on camera) Uh, because... we won! And Duncan is back and... he missed... us. (Duncan enters) Oh my gosh! I didn't lock the door?
- Duncan: The lock's busted. What happened to your paw?
- Gwen: This is so stupid, but I have no idea. And I'm so glad that you're here to mock me about it.
- Duncan: (comes closer grabbing her hand) Me too.
- Gwen: Ow! (smiles a bit) Hey.
(Gwen and Duncan stare at each other and kiss; Tyler pops in shocked, looks at the camera, and leaves unnoticed)
- Chris: Whoa! Now that's how you get some drama started. Wait until Courtney hears about this one! (Chef chuckles) Will Tyler tell all, and who's gonna fall? Find out next week on Total... Drama... World Tour!
Greece In Pieces
- Heather: Hope you look good in silver. I'm great in gold.
- Alejandro: I'll be happy to lend you one of our medals.
- Tyler: I saw Duncan and Gwen kiss!
- Courtney: WHAT?!
- Tyler: Whoa, that's a load off.
- Alejandro: He said he saw- (Courtney snarls at Gwen)
- Courtney: (To Gwen) HOW COULD YOU?! I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIEND...ISH! I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!
- Gwen: What are we gonna do?
- Courtney: Why don't you make out with the minefield's boyfriend?
- Tyler: I don't think they stole your memory, Owen.
- Owen: Oh, but they did, Tyler! I can't even remember your name, or Duncan's name or Al's name or Chris or the Total Drama plane or the cheese cellar back home, or any of that! Oh, wait a minute...I think I'm good. Oh, how you doing, Al?
- Heather: Are you listening to me?
- Courtney: (writing as she chants) Gothie's going down, Gothie's going down, Gothie is going down...
- Heather: (Confessional) Izzy, you have been replaced.
Picnic At Hanging Dork
- Owen: Act like you're crushing on Heather, and she'll go home, same as Bridgette and Leshawna!
- Duncan: Bridgette and Leshawna? I thought I was the only guy who snagged double gold in the Babe Olympics.
- Alejandro: Uh...yes. I was truly fond of both. Sadly, the fates were against us. I suppose I could attempt a false seduction, but it goes against the gentleman's code.
- Duncan: There's a code for that crud?
- Alejandro: And if I seduce Heather, Courtney will remain unaffected. If only we could weaken both at once.
- Duncan: Easy. Heather's kind of into you, right? So, seduce Courtney.
- Heather: (Confessional) Al and Courtney? No chance. He's up to something.
- Alejandro: Hola, Courtney. Your emu is the luckiest creature on Earth. It has the privilege of carrying you. See you at the top! (Passes Courtney)
- Courtney: Did Duncan see that?
- Heather: He's the only one who didn't!
- Alejandro: Courtney's coming along, but I still don't have her trust.
- Duncan: Just follow my lead. (Acting in Courtney's earshot) Not cool, man, not cool!
- Alejandro: (Also acting) But she's your ex! And I cannot help the way I feel about her!
- Alejandro: I've been thinking about the future.
- Courtney: You have?
- Alejandro: Yes. Tomorrow, and the day after, and even the day after that.
- Courtney: I'm aware of what the future means.
- Alejandro: Not when it comes to me.
- Courtney: I bet you say that to every pretty competitor.
- Alejandro: Ah, but you are the only pretty competitor here.
- Heather: (Pretends to cough) Ugly!
- Alejandro: (Confessional) Usually, Courtney would be a much greater challenge, but being dumped by Duncan has completely thrown her. Now I only need give her a cookie to secure her trust. This is what I will do with that trust...(Crushes cookie)
- Heather: (Trying to get Courtney and Alejandro's attention) Oh no! Did I just sit in some gum?
- Sierra: Nope.
- Heather: I think I sat in gum! Oh no!
- Sierra: Nope, you're all good.
(Heather glances over, Courtney and Alejandro are completely blanking her)
- Heather: (Loudly) Someone look at my booty! Is it-
- Sierra: Totally clean! Wow, obsessed much?
- Alejandro: (Ripping his shirt off) I'll pull from the bow.
- Duncan: With your shirt off?
- Alejandro: Questions are for later! Actions are for now! Push like the wind.
- Duncan: He sure does talk pretty for a guy.
(The teams are building boats)
- Duncan: (groaning) Why am I the only one pushing?
(Owen's stomach gurgles violently, as it cuts to him in the bathroom.)
- Owen: How long can you hold in a fart before it becomes dangerous? One time, I held it in the entire day during school, and when I farted in last hour it ripped my pants.
(cuts back to Sweden, where Owen's stomach gurgles violently again.)
- Duncan: Dude, are you about to fart?
- Owen: CAN'T... HOLD IT... ANY LONGER!
- Duncan: Oh, man, I think he's gonna blow!
(Owen slides around on the ice until falling and releasing a giant fart that melts the ice.)
- Chris: THE ICE IS MELTING! Will Owen's poor digestion finally kill us all? And will Cody finally get over Gwen? Find out after the break. EVERY HOST FOR HIMSELF!
Aftermath 3: Aftermayhem
- Blaineley: It's time for another installment of...say it with me...That's Gonna Leave A Mark!
- Blaineley: Would it kill you to play along?
- Blaineley: So Bridgette, the last time you were this cold, you made out with a pole.
- Trent: (Awkwardly to Gwen) Oh, hey. So...Duncan? Didn't see that coming.
- Courtney: If we live, I'll tutor any brain-dead person that requires it, even Duncan!
- Duncan: If we live, I'll forget she ever said that!
- Cody: If we live, I'll let Sierra kiss me! (Others stare at him) What? Not like we're gonna make it.
- Sierra: (Gasps) I...WANT...MY...KISS!
- Courtney: (Confessional) Eliminate Duncan from game is now number 2 on my to-do list. Welcome to number 1, Heather!
- Courtney: (Confessional) Okay, so eliminating Heather is now number 1, 2, 3 and 5 of my top five goals. Ripping out Duncan's eyebrow ring is number 4.
(Sierra has tricked Cody into marrying her)
- Sierra: It's official! That kiss just consummated our marriage! No chance of annulment now, and I do not believe in divorce, OK, so it looks like until death do us part!
- Alejandro: Courtney is in need of some aid!
- Duncan: Oh, you wanna watch her squirm for awhile? Cool!
- Duncan: (while Chris is on the phone) If it's Courtney, tell her she's a loser.
- Courtney: Ahem!
- Alejandro: Courtney! I am filled with relief.
- Courtney: Oh? Well, I am filled with rage.
- Blaineley: Heather and Alejandro, just give it up and make out already!
- Heather: Can you get her out of here?
African Lying Society
- Duncan: Speaking of failed romance, you want me to hit the common area so you two lovebirds can start building your nest?
- Heather and Alejandro: Yeah, right! As if! (realizing they're speaking in unison) Stop it!
- Duncan: Blaineley was right! You two are so lame for each other.
- Chris: (Watching Heather and Alejandro) Oh yeah, they're meant for each other.
- Heather and Alejandro: Shut up, Chris!
- Alejandro: (realizing they spoke in unison again) OK, this is getting ridiculous!
- Alejandro: We simply continue to act awkward around each other in front of the others, while we secretly combine-
- Alejandro and Heather: -our powers and knock everyone else out of the ring.
- Heather: (in reference to speaking in unison) That has to stop. But I am in on the alliance.
(Heather tries to get Sierra to agree to vote off Alejandro)
- Sierra: You're so funny!
- Heather: Funny 'weird' or funny 'I'm going to vote for Alejandro at the next elimination'?
- Sierra: As if you actually want Alejandro to leave! You're so into him, his kidneys are getting crowded!
- Sierra: I know what you need!
- Heather: I do NOT need to be insulted. Or to kiss Alejandro!
- Sierra: (Pulling out a blue egg) I've got one!
- Alejandro: Blue's my colour! Thank you, Sierra, you are so kind to-
- Sierra: (Dropping the egg on purpose) Oops! I guess that's what happens when you're a home-wrecking husband stealer and destroyer of dreams!
- Alejandro: I will keep that in mind when I locate one of your eggs.
(Everyone is looking within the carvings of former competitors' heads)
- Heather: Wow, Courtney is useful for something.
- Alejandro: I wish I could say the same for Lindsay...wait...no, nothing but air.
- Alejandro: The giant condor has been known to peck the eyes of predators.
- Heather: But I like my eyes!
- Alejandro: As do I, especially when they're shooting daggers. (Heather glares at him) Yes, like that.
- Cody: (Dreaming) Of course I'll marry you, Gwen! Sierra? Oh, she had quite a bad rollerskating accident. Don't worry your pretty head about- (Sierra wakes him up) What are you doing?
- Sierra: You were having a terrible nightmare!
- Cody: You took Alejandro up to First Class because you're totally in love with him!
- Heather: I am not! Why does everybody keep saying that?
- Heather: Could you put me down?
- Alejandro: You will never, never, never vote for me.
- Heather: Of course not. There's only like two votes left anyway.
- Alejandro: Promise?
- Heather: I promise. Now could you cut the King Kong act and put me the Heller down?
=Aftermath 4: Hawaiian Style
- Beth: (On seeing bandaged Blaineley) What did you do to the mean blonde person?
(On picking an animal for Team Alejandro, Courtney chooses jaguar)
- Courtney: They're strong, they're lean, they're fast...
- Geoff: They're spotty, you shouldn't leave them alone with your kitten...
Planes, Trains, and Codymobiles
- Chris: As usual, you two are thinking of nothing but yourselves. What about the bigger humanitarian crisis - how am I supposed to look perfect?
- Cody: I can't steer!
- Sierra: We're gonna die! Quick, kiss me!
- Cody: Uh...false alarm, steering, steering!
- Alejandro: Farewell, Heather! I think I'll miss your legs most of all- (Heather jumps, knocking him over)
- Heather: The only one who's leaving is you!
(Sierra tries to get the fireworks seller to give her the fireworks before payment, but only gets his attention when mentioning Cody)
- Fireworks seller: Cody from Total Drama? He's up against Heather?
- Sierra: You're a fan? Me too!
- Sierra: Get up!
- Cody: Why? Face the facts, it's hopeless!
- Sierra: You want a number one fan, mister? That comes with responsibility! You can't let me and the rest of your fanbase down like this! The blogesphere will never let you hear the end of it! So come on already!
- Cody: You really think I can do it?
- Sierra: I know you can! Now get up!
- Alejandro: I hate you.
- Heather: I feel exactly the same!
- Cody: Wait...Al hates being called Al? Gosh, Al! Owen must've called Al 'Al', like, a thousand times! Huh, Al? Poor Al!
- Alejandro: Perhaps when this is over...
- Heather: You're hitting on me now?
- Cody: Don't give up now, or the bad guy wins!
- Heather: You mean...I'm the good guy?
- Alejandro: Admit it, you're in love with me.
- Heather: What? I don't love you, I love...uh...hate! I mean, I hate you!
(Canadian version only)
- Alejandro: Hey, where's my prize money? I demand to get what's coming to me! (Is covered in lava)