User:Reywas92

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You'll normally find me on the English WIkipedia here, but I've decided to keep some of my favorite quotes here at Wikiquote.

  • There is only one good, knowledge, and one evil, ignorance. — Socrates
  • I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they go by. - Douglas Adams
  • The educated differ from the uneducated as much as the living from the dead. - Aristotle
  • I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying. - Oscar Wilde
  • A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that doesn't exist. - Charles Darwin
  • I do not fear computers, I fear the lack of them. - Isaac Asimov
  • The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - Anonymous
  • The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not "Eureka!" but "That's funny..." - Isaac Asimov
  • If a man begins with certainties, he shall end in doubts, but if he will be content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainties. - Francis Bacon
  • I would much rather have men ask why I have no statue, than why I have one. - Cato the Elder
  • Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternatives. - Cato the Elder
  • Wise men learn more from fools than fools from the wise. - Cato the Elder
  • I like a thin book because it will steady a table, a leather volume because it will strop a razor, and a heavy book because it can be thrown at a cat. - Mark Twain
  • I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance—waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope
  • Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde
  • I like children—if they’re properly cooked. - W.C. Fields
  • It is better to keep your mouth shut and to appear stupid than to open it and to remove all doubt. - Mark Twain
  • I refused to attend his funeral. But I wrote a very nice letter explaining that I approved of it. - Mark Twain
  • A speaker who does not strike oil in ten minutes should stop boring. - Anonymous
  • The man who is a pessimist before forty-eight knows too much; the man who is an optimist after forty-eight knows too little. - Mark Twain
  • Gossip: Hearing something you like about someone you don’t. - Earl Wilson
  • Cynic: A man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. - H.L. Mencken
  • Free speech: What teenagers get from their parents when they get into trouble. - Anonymous
  • It’s a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones
  • I never forget a face, but I’ll make an exception in your case. - Groucho Marx
  • Not to know is bad. Not to wish to know is worse. - Wolof West African Proverb
  • Genius has many limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped. - Elbert Hubbard
  • I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. - Clarence Darrow
  • He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others. - Samuel Johnson
  • Old grammarians never die, they just slip into a comma. - Anonymous
  • A bright eye indicates curiosity; a black eye too much. - Anonymous
  • Honolulu — it’s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife’s mother. - Ken Dodd
  • Don’t be humble. You’re not that great. - Golda Meir
  • My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes. - Ronald Reagan, from a sound check from the 1984 US election.
  • It won't last; brothers and sisters are natural enemies. Like Englishmen and Scots. Or Welshmen and Scots. Or Japanese and Scots. Or Scots and other Scots. Damn Scots, they ruined Scotland! - Groundskeeper Willie, from The Simpsons.
  • Welcome to Duloc, such a perfect town / Here we have some rules, let us lay them down / Don't make waves, stay in line / And we'll get along fine / Duloc is a perfect place / Please do not walk on the grass / Shine your shoes, wipe your... face. / Duloc is, Duloc is, Duloc is a perfect... place! - From Shrek.
  • Once ... in the wilds of Afghanistan, I lost my corkscrew, and we were forced to live on nothing but food and water for days. - W. C. Fields
  • I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. - W. C. Fields
  • I'm looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.) - W. C. Fields
  • Always go to other peoples' funerals otherwise they won't go to yours. - Yogi Berra
  • Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them, and you have their shoes. — Jack Handey
  • To punish me for my contempt of authority, Fate has made me an authority myself. - Albert Einstein
  • We will now discuss a little more in detail the struggle for existance. - Charles Darwin
  • So much the better - we shall fight them in the shade. - Dienekes
  • Those who love wisdom must be inquirers into many things indeed. - Heraclitus
  • The Europeans were able to conquer America not because of their military genius, or their religious motivation, or their ambition, or their greed. They conquered it by waging unpremeditated biological warfare. - Howard Simpson
  • If we believe absurdities, we shall commit atrocities. - Voltaire
  • Concealment of the historical truth is a crime against the people. - Pyotr Grigorenko
  • Bitterly disappointed teachers can either be very effective or very dangerous. - Forrester in Finding Forrester
  • Gentlemen, you will permit me to put on my spectacles for I have not only grown gray but almost blind in the sevice of my country. - George Washington, as he refused to become a dictator of America.
  • What good fortune for those in power that the people do not think. - Adolf Hitler
  • It was a wild region, with many bears and other wild animals still in the woods. There I grew up. - Abraham Lincoln, speaking of his childhood in Indiana
  • Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally. - Abraham Lincoln
  • I predict that within 100 years computers will be twice as powerful, 10,000 times larger, and so expensive that only the five richest kings in Europe will own them. - Professor Frink on The Simpsons
  • Family, religion, friends... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Monty Burns on The Simpsons
  • Men speak of killing time, while time quietly kills them. - Dion Boucicault
  • Catch a man a fish, and you can sell it to him. Teach a man to fish, and you ruin a wonderful business opportunity. – Karl Marx
  • The oppressed are allowed once every few years to decide which particular representatives of the oppressing class are to represent and repress them. - Karl Marx
  • No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country. - Patton (film)