3 Idiots is a Bollywood movie released on 25th December 2009. 3 idiots is the "Highest grossing Bollywood movie of all time." The movie is loosely based on a novel by Chetan Bhagat "Five Point Someone". It is a movie directed by Raju Hirani, Produced by Vidhu Vinod Chopra and Actors include Aamir Khan, Sharman Joshi, R. Madhavan, Omi Vaidya, Boman Irani and Kareena Kapoor.
- Directed by Rajkumar Hirani, produced by Vidhu Vinod Chopra. Written by Abhijat Joshiand Rajkumar Hirani. Based on a novel by Chetan Bhagat.
Rancho - Aamir Khan
- Aal izz well.
- All is well.
- Beta kabil bano kabil, Kamyabi to sali jhak mar ke tumhare piche ayegi..
- These engineers are very smart sir, they didn't invent a machine which can measure the pressure on the brain. If they had, we would have come to know that this was not a suicide but a Murder.
- [Rancho mimicking Virus]Life is a race.. If you don't run fast.. You will be like a broken anda (egg) like the gangu bird...
- [To Professor] Instruments that record analyse summarize organize debate and explain information which are illustrative non-illustrative hardbound paperback jacketed non-jacketed with forward introduction, table of contents, index that are intended for the enlightenment, understanding enrichment enhancement and education of the human brain through sensory root of vision... Sometimes touch. ()
- Kiss ho nahi paati yaar... naak beech me aa jaati hai aur main Jag jata hoon.
- I never manage to plant the kiss dude... the nose comes in between and I wake up.
- Main apko engineering nahi padha raha tha sir, woh to aap mujhse behtar jante hain. Main to apko yeh padha raha tha ... ki padhate kaise hain..
- I wasn't teaching you engineering, that you know better than me. I was teaching you how to teach.
- Ehh, Phunsukh Wangdu.
PROFESSOR: *Zyada maza Lene ki zarurat nahi hai. Bolo... Machine ka definition bolo.
**“No need to be so happy. Define a machine.”
CHANCHAD: “A machine is anything that reduces human effort. [...] Anything that simplifies work, or saves time, is a machine. It's a warm day, press a button, get a blast of air - the fan... A machine! Speak to a friend miles away. The telephone... A machine! Compute millions in seconds. The calculator... A machine! We're surrounded by machines. From a pen's nib to a pants' zip - all machines.” (Mimes zipping and unzipping pants) “Up and down in a second. Up, down, up, down…”
Professor: (Throws chalk nib at CHANCHAD’s head) “What is the definition?”
CHANCHAD: “...I-I just gave it to you, sir.”
PROFESSOR: “You'lI write this in the exam?” (Mimes zipping and unzipping pants) “Up, down, up, down, up down. Idiot! Anyone else? Yes?”
SILENCER: “Sir, machines are any combination of bodies so connected that their relative motions are constrained, and by which means, force and motion may be transmitted and modified as a screw and its nut, or a lever arranged to turn about a fulcrum or a pulley about its pivot, etc., especially a construction is more or less complex consisting of a combination of moving parts, or simple mechanical elements, as wheels, levers, cams etc.” PROFESSOR: “Wonderful. Perfect. Please sit down. Thank you.”
CHANCHAD: “But sir, I said the same thing, just in simple language.”
PROFESSOR: “If you prefer simple language, join an Arts and Commerce college.”
CHANCHAD: “But sir, one must get the meaning, too. What’s the point of blindly cramming a textbook definition -”
PROFESSOR: “You think you’re smarter than the book? Write the textbook definition, mister, if you want to pass.” CHANCHAD: “But there are other books - “
PROFESSOR: “Get out!”
CHANCHAD: “But sir - why?”
PROFESSOR: “In simple language: out! Idiot.” (CHANCHAD stands and leaves the class of silent students. Halfway out the classroom, he turns around and begins walking back to his seat.)
PROFESSOR: “Why are you back?”
CHANCHAD: “I forgot something.”
CHANCHAD: “Instruments that record, analyze, summarize, organize, debate and explain information; that are illustrative, non-illustrative, hard-bound, paperback, jacketed, non jacketed, with foreword, introduction, table of contents, and index; that are intended for the enIightenment, understanding, enrichment, enhancement and education of the human brain through the sensory route of vision… sometimes touch.”
CHANCHAD: “Books, sir. I forgot my books.”
Joy Lobo (song)
Give me some sunshine,
Give me some rain,
Give me another chance,
I wanna grow up once again...na na na ...nan..nananana.....na nanana.....aaaaaaaaaa
Raju Rastogi (Sharman Joshi)
- Fullll connection hai baba...
- There's something going on between you both.
- Dono taange tudawa kar apne pairo par khada hona sikha hai sir, badi mushkil se aaya hai yeh attitude, nahi hoga sir. Aap apni naukri rakh lijiye, main apna attitude rakh leta hoon.
- Sir, I have learnt to stand up on my feet after having broken both my legs. This attitude has come with great difficulty. No sir, I can't. You may keep your job, and let me keep my attitude.
Farhan Qureshi (R. Madhavan)
- Badi duvidha thi, Dost ko sambhaltay ya dost ki Maa kay aansu pochtay, phir humne socha hatao yaar mater paneer pay concentrate karo
- Human behaviour ke baare me uss din humne kuch jaana, Dost fail ho jaye toh dukh hota hai, lekin dost first aa jaye toh jyada dukh hota hai.
- We learnt something about human behaviour that day, It feels bad when a friend fails, but it feels even worse when he comes first.
- Baba ranchoddas sahi kehte the... Baccha kabil bano kabil.. Kamyabi to sali jhak maar ke peeche ayegi
(बाबा रणछोड़ दास सही कहते थे...बच्चा काबिल बनो काबिल..कामयाबी तो साली झक मार के पीछे आयेगी)
- Rancho was right when he said "Pursue excellence, and success (Chatur) will follow, pants down!"
- [narration] I've always been a law abiding citizen. But in the last 24 hours, I grounded an airplane, nearly flushed someone's remains down the toilet, and helped Pia escape her wedding. All for Rancho. He would've done the same for any of us, too, like stealing a copy of the final exam that was designed for Raju's failure.
Virus (Boman Irani)
- Shave karani hai? (nahi Sir) then "Get Lost..!"
- Everything is fair in Love and War, and this is World War... 3!
Life is a race … if you don’t run fast … you will be like a broken undaa
Chatur (Omi Vaidya)
Teacher's Day Speech
One of the funniest moments in the movie "3 Idiots" is when the student Rancho replaces the vernacular word chamatkar (serve,serving) with balatkar (screw) in the written speech prepared for Teachers' Day at the Imperial College of Technology and the insufferable Chatur Ramalingam.
Adarniya sabhapati mahodaya …atithi vishesh shikshan mantri shri R D Tripathi [tripathi] ji .. Maanyaniya shikshagan aur mere piyaaare [pyare] sahpatiyo [sahapathiyon] … Aaj agar I.C.E aasmaan ki bulaaandiyo [bulandiyon] ko chhu raahaa [raha] hai.. to uska shreya sirrf [sirf] ekinsaan [ek insaan] ko jaataahai [jata hai] Shri viriss sahastra buddhe ..give him a big hand ..he is a gand guy really ..
Peechle battis saal se inhone nirantar is college mein balatkar [balaatkaar ] pe balatkar kiye.. umeed hai aagey bee [bhi] karte rahege [rahenge].. humein to aashcharya hota hai ki ek insaan apne jeevan kaal mein itni balatkar kaisi kar sakta hai.. inhone kadi tapaasya se apne aapko is kaabil bunaya [banaya] hai.. waqt ka sahi upyog ghante ka purna istemaal sahi se koi inse seeke [seekhe] ..seeke inse seeke ….aaj hum sab chaatra yaha hai ..kal desh videsh mein phel jayenge ..waadaa hai aapse jis desh mein honge waha balatkar karenge I.C.E ka naam roshan karenge …dika [dikha] denge sabko jo balatkar Karne ki shamtaa yaha ke chaatro mein hai wo sansaar ke kisi chaatro mein nahiii ….No other chaatra No other chaatra ha ha
Adarniya mantraji namashkar aapne is sansthaan ko wo chees di jiski hamein sakht zaroorat thi ...stann (original dhan or money) ..stann hota sabi [sab hi] ke paas hai ..sab chupa ke rakte hai ..phir detaa koi nai …aapne apna stann is balatkari purush ke haat mein diya hai…ab dekiye yeh kaisa iska upyog karta hai..
Iss swarna awsar par ek Shlok yaad aa raha hai.
Utamamm dadh dhadhattt padham
Madhyam padham thuchuk thuchuk
Khanishtham thudthudiiiy padham
Sursuria pran ghatkam
- (Rancho replaced a few words in the speech, which made the speech hilarious.)
Welcome our Chief guest, the Minister of Education. Welcome our respected Mr. Chairman(Dean), and our respected teachers and schoolmates... The reason our school can be so successful is only one person's contribution, Dr. Viru Sahastrabuddhe! Give him a big hand... He's a great guy really... For 32 years, he has been continuously raping (The original word chamatkar means 'doing wonders' whereas balatkar means 'screw') up... We believe that he will continue that. It's so astonishing that a man can rape/screw up so many times perfectly in his life! His perseverance must come from his practicing! He devoted every moment to raping up! We should learn from him! The students here will soon be all over the world. Wherever we go, we will continue to rape/screw up! We will make I.C.E proud ! We will show everyone that our ability to rape/screw up is incomparable!
Good evening, Mr. Minister of Education. You gave us one thing that we need most... Breasts(The original word means funds). Everyone has breasts, but they all hide it... No one would generously give them to others! But you gave your breasts to this rapist... Now you'll see how he uses of it!
(Verse) A loud fart is like a motor bike (respectable...) A medium fart is like a train (tolerable...) A slight fart is fearful... A silent fart is unbearable...!
- (After Farting) I didn't do it. Rajuuuu...
- A for Apple, B for Ball...
- Definition of a machine - A machine is any combination of bodies so connected that their relative motions are constrained, and by means of which force and motion may be transmitted and modified, as a screw and its nut, or a lever arranged to turn about a fulcrum or a pulley about its pivot, etc, especially, a construction more or less complex, consisting of a combination of moving parts or simple mechanical elements, as wheels, levers, cams, etc.
- You want maar? (to children at Ladakh).
Raju Rastogi's Mother
- Atayees (28) ki hogayi hai Kammo, Maruti 800 mangtay hain Dahej main, aray tu padhega likhega nahi to shadi kaisi hogi iski,
- Kammo has turned 28, people are asking for a car in dowry, if you will not study, how will she get married?
- (Bhindi lenge) pata hai tujhe, bhindi barah rupay kilo ho gayi hai aur gobi dass ki, loot machi hai saray desh mai. ....
- (Would you like 'Okra') You know, one kilo of 'Okra' is now twelve rupees and cabbage is ten rupees, there's a widespread steal across the country...
- (Paneer lenge)...Paneer to beta kuch dinou mai itti itti thailiyoun mai Sonaar ki dukan pay bikegi....
- (Would you like cottage cheese) My son, one day cottage cheese will be available at the goldsmith's in small small pouches.
- Inki Eczema ki cream bhi ab pachpan (55) rupay ki aati hai.
- Even his eczema cream costs 55 Rupees now.
- Ajeeb desh hai hamari. Pijja 30 minute may aane ki guarantee hai.
- In this country, you can only have pizza in 30 minutes.