3 Idiots

3 Idiots is a Bollywood movie released on 25th December 2009. 3 idiots is the "Highest grossing Bollywood movie of all time." The movie is loosely based on a novel by Chetan Bhagat "Five Point Someone". It is a movie directed by Raju Hirani, Produced by Vidhu Vinod Chopra and Actors include Aamir Khan, Sharman Joshi, R. Madhavan, Omi Vaidya, Boman Irani and Kareena Kapoor.

Directed by Rajkumar Hirani, produced by Vidhu Vinod Chopra. Written by Abhijat Joshiand Rajkumar Hirani. Based on a novel by Chetan Bhagat.

Ranchoddas chhachad - Aamir Khan

• Aal izz well.
  • All is well.

1. Beta kabil bano kabil, Kamyabi to sali jhak mar ke tumhare piche ayegi..

• • These engineers are very smart sir, they didn't invent a machine which can measure the pressure on the brain. If they had, we would have come to know that this was not a suicide but a Murder.

• [Rancho mimicking Virus]Life is a race.. If you don't run fast.. You will be like a broken anda (egg) like the gangu bird...

• [To Professor] Instruments that record analyse summarize organize debate and explain information which are illustrative non-illustrative hardbound paperback jacketed non-jacketed with forward introduction, table of contents, index that are intended for the enlightenment, understanding enrichment enhancement and education of the human brain through sensory root of vision... Sometimes touch. ()

• Kiss ho nahi paati yaar... naak beech me aa jaati hai aur main Jag jata hoon.
  • I never manage to plant the kiss dude... the nose comes in between and I wake up.

• Main apko engineering nahi padha raha tha sir, woh to aap mujhse behtar jante hain. Main to apko yeh padha raha tha ... ki padhate kaise hain..
  • I wasn't teaching you engineering, that you know better than me. I was teaching you how to teach.

• Ehh, Phunsukh Wangdu.

PROFESSOR: *Zyada maza Lene ki zarurat nahi hai. Bolo... Machine ka definition bolo.

**“No need to be so happy. Define a machine.”  

CHANCHAD: “A machine is anything that reduces human effort. [...] Anything that simplifies work, or saves time, is a machine. It's a warm day, press a button, get a blast of air - the fan... A machine! Speak to a friend miles away. The telephone... A machine! Compute millions in seconds. The calculator... A machine! We're surrounded by machines. From a pen's nib to a pants' zip - all machines.” (Mimes zipping and unzipping pants) “Up and down in a second. Up, down, up, down…”

(Students laugh)

Professor: (Throws chalk nib at CHANCHAD’s head) “What is the definition?”

CHANCHAD: “...I-I just gave it to you, sir.”

PROFESSOR: “You'lI write this in the exam?” (Mimes zipping and unzipping pants) “Up, down, up, down, up down. Idiot! Anyone else? Yes?”

SILENCER: “Sir, machines are any combination of bodies so connected that their relative motions are constrained, and by which means, force and motion may be transmitted and modified as a screw and its nut, or a lever arranged to turn about a fulcrum or a pulley about its pivot, etc., especially a construction is more or less complex consisting of a combination of moving parts, or simple mechanical elements, as wheels, levers, cams etc.” PROFESSOR: “Wonderful. Perfect. Please sit down. Thank you.”

CHANCHAD: “But sir, I said the same thing, just in simple language.”

PROFESSOR: “If you prefer simple language, join an Arts and Commerce college.”

CHANCHAD: “But sir, one must get the meaning, too. What’s the point of blindly cramming a textbook definition -”

PROFESSOR: “You think you’re smarter than the book? Write the textbook definition, mister, if you want to pass.” CHANCHAD: “But there are other books - “

PROFESSOR: “Get out!”

CHANCHAD: “But sir - why?”

PROFESSOR: “In simple language: out! Idiot.” (CHANCHAD stands and leaves the class of silent students. Halfway out the classroom, he turns around and begins walking back to his seat.)

PROFESSOR: “Why are you back?”

CHANCHAD: “I forgot something.”

PROFESSOR: “What?”

CHANCHAD: “Instruments that record, analyze, summarize, organize, debate and explain information; that are illustrative, non-illustrative, hard-bound, paperback, jacketed, non jacketed, with foreword, introduction, table of contents, and index; that are intended for the enIightenment, understanding, enrichment, enhancement and education of the human brain through the sensory route of vision… sometimes touch.”

Professor: “What?”

CHANCHAD: “Books, sir. I forgot my books.”

Joy Lobo (song)

Give me some sunshine,
Give me some rain,
Give me another chance,
I wanna grow up once again...na na na ...nan..nananana.....na nanana.....aaaaaaaaaa

Raju Rastogi (Sharman Joshi)

• Fullll connection hai baba...
  • There's something going on between you both.

• Dono taange tudawa kar apne pairo par khada hona sikha hai sir, badi mushkil se aaya hai yeh attitude, nahi hoga sir. Aap apni naukri rakh lijiye, main apna attitude rakh leta hoon.
  • Sir, I have learnt to stand up on my feet after having broken both my legs. This attitude has come with great difficulty. No sir, I can't. You may keep your job, and let me keep my attitude.

Farhan Qureshi (R. Madhavan)

• Badi duvidha thi, Dost ko sambhaltay ya dost ki Maa kay aansu pochtay, phir humne socha hatao yaar mater paneer pay concentrate karo
  

• Human behaviour ke baare me uss din humne kuch jaana, Dost fail ho jaye toh dukh hota hai, lekin dost first aa jaye toh jyada dukh hota hai.
  • We learnt something about human behaviour that day, It feels bad when a friend fails, but it feels even worse when he comes first.

• Baba ranchoddas sahi kehte the... Baccha kabil bano kabil.. Kamyabi to sali jhak maar ke peeche ayegi

(बाबा रणछोड़ दास सही कहते थे...बच्चा काबिल बनो काबिल..कामयाबी तो साली झक मार के पीछे आयेगी)

• Abba nahi mane gye [crying face]

(last lines)

• Rancho was right when he said "Pursue excellence, and success (Chatur) will follow, pants down!"
• [narration] I've always been a law abiding citizen. But in the last 24 hours, I grounded an airplane, nearly flushed someone's remains down the toilet, and helped Pia escape her wedding. All for Rancho. He would've done the same for any of us, too, like stealing a copy of the final exam that was designed for Raju's failure.

Virus (proffesor)(Boman Irani)

• Shave karani hai? (nahi Sir) then "Get Lost..!"
• Everything is fair in Love and War, and this is World War... 3!

Life is a race … if you don’t run fast … you will be like a broken undaa

Chatur 'Silencer' Ramalingam (Omi Vaidya)

Teacher Day Speech:

Chatur (reciting in Hindi from memory without understanding a word of it) “Gentlemen! Honoured Guests! Distinguished Mr. Chairman! Honoured Chief Guest, Minister of Education, Shri R.D. Tripati-ji! Respected teachers! My dear friends! today, the Indian College of Engineering is soaring sky-high, and the credit for that goes to one man: Dr. Viru Sahastrabuddhe! Let’s give him a big hand! [applause]. He is a great man, truly. For 32 years, in this college, he has committed buggeries upon buggeries;––”

Rancho (sotto voce): "He means, Worked miracle after miracle"

Chatur: “And I hope this noble work will continue. We have often wondered, How one man, in a single lifetime, can screw up so much! With rigourous practice, he has built up such wonderful stamina;––”

Audience laugh.

Chatur: “––through careful management of time, and the most efficient use of every hour; every waking minute, buggering around. Let’s follow his example. Everybody, learn from him! Learn from him! Learn from him! To-day, his students are here; tomorrow, we’ll go around the world. We, his students, take up the vow: from now on, wherever we go, we too shall bugger!”.

Audience laugh harder. Dr. Sahastrabuddhe is furious.

Chatur's Advisor: "Sir, I didn't teach him that!".

Chatur: “We’ll glorify the name of the Indian College of Engineering! We’ll prove to everyone, No scholars in the world can screw up like we can! No other scholars! No other scholars!”.

Audience laugh harder. Dr. Sahastrabuddhe angrier.

Chatur: “Honourable Minister of Education: Salutations! You have given this university what it sorely needs, what no university can be without, the only thing it was missing;––”

Rancho: "Money;–– funds"

Chatur: "Mammaries!”.

Chatur's Advisor (sotto voce): "Not that, you idiot! That means a woman’s chest!".

Minister: "What's he babbling about?!".

Chatur: “Everyone has mammaries; everyone hides them. No one offers its bosom so readily as you, Minister. You have opened your chest into the hands of this old lecher; now, see what a fine use he makes of it!”.

Audience laugh harder than ever. Chatur's Advisor collapses in shock.

Minister: "Sahastrabuddhe, don’t you have any brains?! Is this the kind of college you’re running? What are you teaching here? Cheeky!".

Chatur: “This auspicious occasion, reminds me of a certain Sanskrit verse: ‘Utthamum dadhdadaath paadam…’” [The smallest flatulence makes flapping noises]

Errand boy [laughing]: "Paadam?! O, Silencer!”

Chatur: “Madhyam paadam thuchukthuchuk… [the second flatulence huffs and puffs] Ghanistham thud thudi paadam… [the greatest gas of all] Surr surri praan gatakam!’”. [kills in silence!].

Audience laugh and throw crumpled notes. Dr. Sahastrabuddhe goes on stage to punish Chatur. Exit Chatur, pursued by Dr. Sahastrabuddhe and the Minister.

Raju Rastogi's Mother

• Atayees (28) ki hogayi hai Kammo, Maruti 800 mangtay hain Dahej main, aray tu padhega likhega nahi to shadi kaisi hogi iski,
  • Kammo has turned 28, people are asking for a car in dowry, if you will not study, how will she get married?

• (Bhindi lenge) pata hai tujhe, bhindi barah rupay kilo ho gayi hai aur gobi dass ki, loot machi hai saray desh mai. ....
  • (Would you like 'Okra') You know, one kilo of 'Okra' is now twelve rupees and cabbage is ten rupees, there's a widespread steal across the country...
• (Paneer lenge)...Paneer to beta kuch dinou mai itti itti thailiyoun mai Sonaar ki dukan pay bikegi....
  • (Would you like cottage cheese) My son, one day cottage cheese will be available at the goldsmith's in small small pouches.

• Inki Eczema ki cream bhi ab pachpan (55) rupay ki aati hai.
  • Even his eczema cream costs 55 Rupees now.

• Ajeeb desh hai hamarA. Pijja 30 minute may aane ki guarantee hai.
  • In this country, you can only have pizza in 30 minutes.

Final Lines

Rancho's friends: All right, old friend, we know now your real name isn't Chanchabad.

Pia: Yes! and not 'Choté' [Little Fellow] either!

Friends: So what is it?

Rancho: My name? Phunsukh Wangdu!

Friends: What?! Silencer's Wangdu?!

Rancho/Wangdu: Yes. Watch this.

[Draws cellphone and calls Silencer, who has his back to them].

Silencer [without looking]: Ah, Mister Wangroo! What is it?

Rancho/Wangdu: I'm sorry, Mister Ramalingam, but I cannot sign the contract with your company.

Silencer [aghast]: But why, Mister Wangroo?

Rancho/Wangdu: How can I sign anything, Mister Ramalingam, when you're holding my pen?! The Virus pen; I can't sign anything without it!

Silencer does double-take and becomes astonished.

External links

• 3 Idiots quotes at the Internet Movie Database