50 First Dates
50 First Dates is a 2004 comedy film starring Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore about a man afraid of commitment, until he meets the girl of his dreams. But then he discovers she has short-term memory loss and forgets him every day.
- Happy birthday, sir. What are you, like, 200 today?
- I have no life.
- Sorry I'm not better looking.
- Shit your pants? So did I.
- Hey, Ula! Get back to cleaning the pool! And if that's one of your special brownies, don't let any of the dolphins eat that.
- Can I have one last first kiss?
- [repeated line] There's nothing like a first kiss..
- [to his children] You kids suck; you're good at everything!
- My shirt size is medium husky.
- Sharks are like dogs. They only bite when you touch their private parts.
- Your golf ball hit the cart, bounced back and hit you in the head. It was freakin' hilarious.
- [Pretending to be Lucy for the video] Aquariums make me super horny.
- Get your brother out of the dishwasher!
- You got a cat? 'Cause I feel somethin' lickin' me.
- [repeated line] Hi, I'm Tom!
- Don't you think you're a little old to still be having wet dreams? (laughter) Hi, I'm Tom!
Old Hawaiian Man
- Are you staring at me or her? 'Cause you're starting to freak me out.
- [About Henry's drawing on a napkin] Can I have that? I need something to wipe my ass with.
- Alexa: [After an aborted one-night stand with a woman] I guess I prefer sausage to taco.
- Security Guard 1: Hey Lucy, good to see you again!
- [Lucy walks by quietly]
- Security Guard 1: What the heck's her problem?
- Security Guard 2: She doesn't remember who you are, bra.
- Security Guard 1: Oh, yeah. I suck at this job!
- [After Lucy beat up Ula with a bat]
- Ula: Oh, you crazy bitch!
- Lucy: Yeah, KEEP RUNNING!
- Lucy: [to Henry] I hardly know you.
- Marlin: Actually sweetie, you're kind of dating him.
- [Lucy looks at Henry]
- Henry: Yeah. Sorry I'm not better looking.
- Doug: Thith ith from Nick and Thue. They thend their betht witheth for a thafe trip.
- Henry: That's very nice. Spam and Reese's. All right.
- Doug: I love Thpam and Reethe's, can I have it?
- Henry: Um, I guess.
- Marlin: Doug!
- Kid: What's wrong with that turtle?
- Henry: He has lung problems because he smoked too much turtle weed, which is bad for you. Right, Ula-la?
- Ula: What? I don't smoke weed!
- [While playing golf, Ula has ripped the stitches over a shark bite on his waist]
- Ula: You think you can stitch me up tonight after I get back from surfing?
- Henry: Yeah, I'm looking forward to it.
- Caddy: I wouldn't surf with a bleeding wound like that. You might attract a shark or something.
- Ula: What's wrong with that, cuz? Sharks are naturally peaceful.
- Caddy: Is that right? How'd you get that nasty cut anyway?
- Ula: A shark bit me.
- Caddy: Nice! Go smoke another one, bro!
- Old Hawaiian Man: That was pathetic.
- Henry: Yeah? Why don't you choke on your spam!
- Nick: What did Sue say?
- Henry: She said that if I talk to Lucy you'll kill me with a meat cleaver.
- Dr. Keats: Was your head shaped like an egg before she hit you?
- Doug: Hey! Don't make fun of Henry, all right? It'th not hith fault hith head'th thaped like that!
- Dr. Keats: Note the intense overreaction. That's the 'roids talking. Douglas, once again, off the juice.
- Doug: It'th not juice! It'th a protein shake!
- [Henry sticks a tooth pick in Lucy's waffle house]
- Henry: Here, you should try this out. Put this here. Swivelly door. Waffleonians can come in and out now.
- Lucy: Oh, are you from a country where it's okay to stick your fingers all over someone else's food?
- Henry: Uh, no, I'm from this country. [pause] Were you gonna eat that?
- [Henry pretends to get electrocuted while jump-starting his car, upsetting Lucy]
- Henry: Hah! I can't believe you fell for that!
- Lucy: My grandfather died while trying to jump-start a car...
- Henry: Oh...I'm so sorry...I was just joking around.
- Lucy: I can't believe you fell for THAT! HA HA!
- Update Video: Red Sox win series!... Just kidding.
- Update Video: Schwarzenegger elected governor!... Not kidding.
- Dr. Keats: Tom lost part of his brain in a hunting accident. His memory only lasts ten seconds.
- Ten Second Tom: I was in an accident? That's terrible.
- Dr. Keats: Don't worry, you're totally gonna get over it in about three seconds.
- Ten Second Tom: Get over it? I mean, what happened? Did I get shot in the brain... Hi. I'm Tom.
- Henry: [begging Marlin to let Henry see Lucy and apologize after she ate at the diner] I don't want it to end like this.
- Doug: Yeah, well, it's gonna end like this!
- [Doug runs to beat up Henry but then Henry holds him down]
- Henry: Calm down, little fella!
- Doug: Okay I'm calm!
- Doug: I coulda whooped his ass, Daddy but this gravel - I swipped on it and fell.
- Marlin: Then maybe you need to do a little bit more butt flexes.
- Doug: Cheap shot, Dad.
- Henry: I don't think that's an option, Lisa.
- Linda: Linda.
- Henry: I know. I changed your name for your protection.
- Nick: Hey, Mr. Peanut Butter Cups!
- Henry: Hey, Mr. Could-Kill-Me-In-One-Punch!
- Lucy: Wonder what's the matter with him.
- Old Hawaiian Man: Looks like a stupid asshole to me.
- Kid: Daddy, what's a nympho?
- Ula: Uh, the nympho is the state bird of Ohio.
- Kids: Ohhh.
- Henry: [to Ula] You're the state idiot of Hawaii.
- [Henry has just said "I Do" in his commitment to Lucy on the tape.]
- Ula: Really? Even though in like 10-15 years, she could like posssibly lets herself go and then like sex could like be nauseating for you.
- Henry: What are you, nuts? Your wife's right over there.
- [Ula faces his insulted, obese wife, whom flips him off in retaliation.]
- Ula: I'm just kidding, Mumu.
- Adam Sandler - Henry Roth
- Drew Barrymore - Lucy Whitmore
- Rob Schneider - Ula
- Sean Astin - Doug Whitmore
- Lusia Strus - Alexa
- Dan Aykroyd - Dr. Keats
- Amy Hill - Sue
- Allen Covert - Ten Second Tom
- Blake Clark - Marlin Whitmore
- Maya Rudolph - Stacy
- Pomaika'i Brown - Nick
- Joe Nakashima - Old Hawaiian Man