All That
All That (1994-2000, 2002-05, 2019-20) is an American sketch comedy television series created by Brian Robbins and Mike Tollin for Nickelodeon.
First Run (seasons 1-6)
[edit]- Detective Dan: "Hello, Pizza Shack? I'd like a large pepperoni pizza with no pepperonis. I'm Detective Dan".
- Detective Dan: "I think we've all learned a valuable lesson here today".
- Other character: [Amanda Bynes] "Yeah! I've learned that you're a moron!"
- Detective Dan: "Wait a minute! Where was I when this robbery was takin' place? Hmmmm...boys! Beat me, and then push me so I go flyin' out the window!"
[The officers {Christy Knowings and Danny Tamberelli} accompanying Detective Dan do as he says]
[Detective Dan is investigating a robbery, in which jewelry belonging to Mrs. Lipschitz {Lori Beth Denberg} has been stolen, and he is questioning Charles, the butler {guest star Douglas Brush; 1921-2004}, who is clearly the culprit]
- Detective Dan: "You! You there! I'd like a coupla words with ya!"
- Charles: "Uh...yes?"
- Detective Dan: [steps through the coffee table] "You wouldn't happen to know who mighta stolen Mrs. Lipschitz's jewelry, would ya?"
- Charles: "No. Not really. No".
- Detective Dan: "Seen anything at all...suspicious?"
- Charles: "No. Can't say that I have".
- Bernie: "My name is Bernie Kibbitz. AND I NEED PANTS!"
- Jerry Futile: [the host of You Can't Win!] "How many shoes?...Oo-oo-oo, wrong! The answer was nine. Nine shoes."
- Jerry Futile: "YOU...CAN'T...WIN!"
- Emily Maroon: "Wall...wall hit face. It hurt."
- Toby Braun: "With The Brute, you don't need a telephone!"
- [The Brute destroys the telephone]
- The Brute: [guest star Ron Lester] "I like flowers."
- Toby Braun: "ME, TOO!"
- Walter the Earboy: [of Henry Ross Perot; 1930-2019] "WAIT A MINUTE! I know a guy who has huge ears like mine and everybody likes him! He'll tell me what I should do!"
[Each of Earboy's ears is approximately 8 inches high by 5 inches wide, and 17 square inches in area, and on the show, Perot is portrayed as having ears of about 16% of the area of Earboy's]
- Walter the Earboy: "Are you laughing at my dancing or my humungous ears?"
- Other character: [Alisa Reyes] "We can't decide".
- Superdude: [Kenan Thompson] "Well, if it isn't Milk Man!"
- Milk Man: "'Udderly' correct...Superdude! Hope my little visit doesn't sour your day!"
- Superdude: "That's putting it mildly! Last time I saw you, you were rotting in prison!"
- Milk Man: "And I have you to thank for putting me there! I hate when someone spoils my fun!"
- Jimmy Bond: "Wow, that is some penny!"
- Julio: [the assistant of Dulmont Jr. High School's lunch lady, Miss Piddlin] "Miss Piddlin? Here--here's more peas. Isn't that a lovely thing, more peas? I was just gonna set 'em down very slowly..."
- Mumbly Spice: "Flick in blob, a wig a wang jang blang; I mean, pop music, if it is, puh-tuh, hmmm, I mean cleeto, please, clang, you know."
- Tandy Spork: "Chocolate? Randy, once you've tasted the magical freshness of carrots, asparagus, broccoli, and green beans, you'll find that you won't even want to eat that nasty, silly chocolate anymore!"
- Herself: [in the "Vital Information" sketch] "If your face looks like a fig, and it's your birthday...then happy birthday, fig face!"
[Audience laughs]
- Herself: "Thank you".
- Monica: [the musical guest] "If you feel like an outsider, if you feel all alone, and if you feel you have no one to talk to, odds are...you have no friends".
- Lori Beth: "See that stage?"
- Monica: "Yes..."
- Lori Beth: "Start singing".
[Monica departs for the stage]
- Lori Beth: "If you steal my 'Vital Information' bit, you'd better be prepared to sing a song. How 'bout a vital round of sound for Monica?"
[Monica performs her hit "Don't Take it Personal" {Just One of Dem Days}]
- Miss Fingerly: "What are you eating there, young man?!"
- Student: [Kel Mitchell] "Um; just pudding, Miss Fingerly".
- Miss Fingerly: "Oh, I see. Well, I also see you don't have some for the rest of the class, do you?"
- Student: "Just one moment, please".
[He leaves, and then returns with a green wheelbarrow that is filled with chocolate pudding, whipped cream, and a cherry that's roughly the size of his head, as well as a spoon for each student]
- Student: "Pudding, everybody?"
[The entire class gathers at the wheelbarrow to help themselves to the pudding; this was the very first Miss Fingerly sketch]
- Miss Fingerly: "All right; now, that is not funny!"
- Miss Fingerly: "The classroom is no place to exchange ideas and information!"
- Miss Fingerly: "The classroom is no place for research."
- Miss Fingerly: "The classroom is no place to enjoy yourself."
- Miss Fingerly: "Good afternoon, students. I trust you all enjoyed lunch. I myself consumed a tasty chicken pot pie. Teachers love chicken pie...cock-a-doodle-pie!"
[In Miss Fingerly's class, one of the students, Jenny {Bynes}, has invited some friends to celebrate her birthday, even though it's not her actual birthday, and they started singing "For She's a Jolly Good Fellow"]
- Miss Fingerly: "As far as I'm concerned, Jenny is not a jolly nor good and...clearly she's no fellow! Now, please; stop interrupting!"
- Miss Fingerly: "Now, who can tell me what 'dangling participles' are?"
- Student: [Bates] "Is that when a phrase in a sentence describes something it's not supposed to?"
- Miss Fingerly: "Quite correct. For example, in the sentence 'Cooking in her new microwave, Grandma was happy'...now, we all know that a grandmother cannot fit in a microwave..."
[It would be clearer to say something like, "It made Grandma happy to use her new microwave to cook her food"]
- Herself: "I want a rhinoceros...carved out of pure gold!"
- Larissa Oleynik: [cameo] "I just happen to have with me a...rhinoceros carved out of pure silver".
- Other character: [guest star Richmond Harrison] "It's a bird!"
- Other character: [guest star Virtic Emil] "It's a plane!"
- Sweaty Woman: "You two couldn't be more wrong! It's Superdude!"
- Other character: [Danny Tamberelli] "It's a Martian!"
- Other character: [guest star Zack McLemore] "It's a fancy cowboy!"
- Other character: [Server] "It's Kenan!"
- Sweaty Woman: "No; it's Superdude!"
- Miss Fingerly: "The classroom is no place for hiney-slappin'!"
- Loud Librarian: "Noisy! I thought I told you no talking! You talk, you walk!"
- Loud Librarian: "SILENCE! QUIET! STIFLE! HUSH! SHHH!"
- Loud Librarian: "SILENCE! NEVER ENTER THIS LIBRARY AGAIN!"
- Loud Librarian: [after closing the door and ringing the bell that she has recently put on it] "HUSH, BELL! THIS IS A LIBRARY, NOT A RINGAMERRARIUM!"
- Loud Librarian: "SILENCE! THIS IS A LIBRARY! NOT A SNEEZE HALL!"
- Loud Librarian: "QUIET! THIS IS A LIBRARY! NOT A TALKATORIUM!"
- Loud Librarian: "I SAID 'SHUSH'! CAN'T YOU HEAR MY WORDS?!"
- Other character: [Christy Knowings] "You are not a very good librarian."
- Loud Librarian: "QUIET! THIS IS A LIBRARY!" (blows airhorn)
- Loud Librarian: "QUIET! THIS IS A LIBERRY!"
- Loud Librarian: "EVERYONE, QUIET! YOU SQUEAK...I FREAK!"
- Other character: [Amanda Bynes] "I'm sorry. I thought this was the library--"
- Loud Librarian: "WRONG...THIS IS THE LIBRARY, AND THAT MEANS NO NOISE! WHAT KIND OF LUNATIC ARE YOU?!"
- Connie Muldoon: "I was never in my car! We Muldoons don't believe in motor vehicles!"
- Herself: [singing] "I'm so proud of my new bunny; he wiggles his nose, and eats my honey; he tickles my toes, I tickle his tummy; and that's why I'm so proud. Proud, proud, proud; bunny, bunny, bunny..."
- Superdude: "I'm Superdude, the teenage superhero with powers that amaze the stupid."
- Superdude: "I'm Superdude, the teenage superhero with powers that make women sweat!"
- Sweaty Woman [Denberg]: "It's true!"
- Superdude: "I'm Superdude, the teenage superhero with powers that can make hamsters dance!"
- Superdude: "I'm Superdude, the teenage superhero who's always in the right place at the right time!"
- Superdude: [usually after his intro] "I also enjoy...fluffy stuffed animals, and...soft kisses, and...chatting on the phone long-distance."
- Bill Cosby: "Eat at least one gallon of yellow pudding every day".
[He often brings a bowl of French vanilla pudding with him]
- Nasty Nancy: "You'd be nasty, too, iffin' you was a cowboy named...'Nancy'."
- Mavis: "Hey, Clavis, wake up; the show is over."
- Clavis: [Kel Mitchell] "Oh, yeah; kick it!"
- Mavis: "Hey, look at that, Clavis."
- Clavis: "Yeah, it's some kinda crazy camer-er-a."
- Mavis: [singsong] "Hello-o-o-o..."
- Clavis: [singsong] "Howdy-do-o-o-o..."
- Coldfinger: [of his ice-clad right pointer finger] "Look at my finger! It is so cold!"
- Quik'N'Fast customer: [Amanda Bynes] "Hey, I didn't want pennies!"
- LaNicia: "Oo-ooh, Miss Fussy was just beggin' for change, and now she don't want it!"
- Miss Piddlin: "Miss Piddlin almost let her bad temper and delicate mental conditions get the best of her..."
- Miss Piddlin: "Taste the peas! C'mon, little angel! Tell Miss Piddlin whatcha think of the peas!"
- Miss Piddlin: "Careful, Miss Piddlin, don't lose your pea cool."
- Miss Piddlin: "JULIO!!"
- Miss Piddlin: "Well, if you don't wanna eat peas, don't eat nothin' at all!"
- Miss Piddlin: "Miss Piddlin is back--with her special salad. I like to call it...peas!"
- Miss Piddlin: [singing] "For Pea's a jolly good vegetable...for Pea's a jolly good vegetable...for Pea's a jolly good vegetable...which everyone loves to eat...".
- Spice Cube: [formerly Burt Spice; rapping] "Fuzzy little bunny, all cute and sweet; cuddly little rabbit, come play with me! Your ears are floppy, and your whiskers, they bend! You're so cute and fuzzy; won't you be my friend? Bo-o-o-oy!"
- Spice Boys fan: [Leon Frierson] "Will you guys sign my Spice Boy dolls for me? I got 'em all; they're so cool!"
- Spice Cube: "Oh, look how adorable your cute little dolls are! Of course we can sign your dolls...I mean, uh, they--they look real tough, ya know what I'm sayin'? Punks? Punks!"
- Other character: [Mark Saul] "Yeah, my question is for Burt Spice. Um, Burt...what's with your name?"
- Burt Spice: "What do--what do you mean?"
- Other character: [Mark Saul] "Well, you know, uh, Hairy Spice is hairy, and Dead Spice is, well, not living."
- [Dead Spice is a skeleton]
- Other character: [Mark Saul] "You're just Burt Spice; now, don't you think that's kinda lame?"
- Burt Spice: "Well, uh...no; the Spice Boys, we're all about music and boy power and friction. Trust me, nobody cares about my name."
- Ishboo: "In my foreign land, it is only proper that the guests sleep in the bed, and that you sleep on the floor!"
- Kay: [Angelique Bates; she and Ishboo are on a date, and she has just watched him dance] "Oh, Ishboo; where did you learn to dance like that? In your foreign land?"
- Ishboo: "Yes; when I was a small Ishboo, I accidentally sat on a hot stove. The excruciating butt pain taught me how to wiggle myself!"
- Other character: [Johnson] "Um...hey, Barry; can you give me ride home?"
- Baggin' Saggin' Barry: "Why; yes, I can."
[From his trousers, he removes a white and lavender bike that is her size; the lavender parts include the tires]
- Other character: "Thanks."
- Baggin' Saggin' Barry: "There you go. Drive safely."
[She takes the bike and departs]
[As a result of Angelique Bates's departure from All That due to her contract expiring within the second season, Mandy is no longer on the Cooking With Randy & Mandy sketch]
- Randy: "Well, we all know how much Mandy loved chocolate. Unfortunately, during a recent chocolatey-wild weekend, Mandy lost her mind and consumed 479 pounds of pure milk chocolate. Last I heard, Mandy was locked away in a chocolate rehabilitation facility. We wish her well."
- Randy: [after tasting his dish, 'Burrito Surprise'--a chocolate-covered burrito] "That makes me wanna sing!"
- Randy: [singing to the tune of 'La Cucaracha'] "La chocolata, la chocolata...
- Randy: "All right! Now, the next dish that I have prepared for you is called 'chocolate on top of chocolate, smothered in chocolate'."
- Randy: "Ya can't beat chocolate!"
- Chef Farley: [guest star Chris Farley {1964-1997}] "'Ya can't beat chocolate'. Randoo, I'm worried about ya. Look here, kid, you've been eatin' chocolate all your life, and all you've got to show for it is A NEW CROPPA ZITS! I'M WORRIED ABOUT YA! PRETTY SOON, YOU'RE GONNA WAKE UP SUNDAY MORNING, AND IF YOU'RE STEALIN' GRANDMA'S BRANDLE MINTS OUT OF HER CANDY DISH, YOU'RE GONNA END UP IN REHAB, A CHOCOHOLIC!!"
- Antoine: "What it is."
- Principal Pimpell: "As principal of Dullmont Junior High School, Principal William...Baines...Pimpell!"
- Principal Pimpell: [singing to the tune of Dry Bones] "The finger bone's connected to the...shin bone! The shin bone's connected to the...brain bone!"
- Officer Ulcer: [of the U. S. S. Spaceship] "Aw! Nobody stops my engines cold!"
- Lester Oaks, Construction Worker: "Ho-ho-ho-hold the fig neutrons there, mush bucket! The name is, Lester Oaks...Construction Worker!"
Everyday French With Pierre Escargot
[edit][Each of these is the "translation" of a French phrase]
•There are small children in my nose.
•May I blow my nose in your sandwich?
•You look like Stephanie, but you smell like Robert.
•I'm sorry; I thought that was my pocket.
•What time is it, and why do you smell like cheese?
•Why is your butt talking?
•[After speaking a 30- to 40-syllable French phrase in which he mentions actor/singer Patrick Swayze {1952-2009}] How are you?
•Who are you, and why are you wearing my Daddy's panties?
•I'm from Minnesota, and my name is Winnifred!
•Kiss me! Squeeze me! Call me "Mrs. Beasley"!
•May I take a nap in your nose?
•I have not showered in 36 days!
•May I pop my pimple on your lasagna?
•Excuse me! I am not a drinking fountain!
•Pardon me, but this tissue has already been used.
•I told you I had gas.
•I told you I had to throw up.
•That's not an elf; that's my grandmother!
•Mmmm! This men's room smells wonderful.
•Who said you could live in my toilet?
•That's not bubblegum. Bubblegum. That's not bubblegum. That's...Porkboy, the breakfast monkey.
•Your grandfather looks pretty in that wedding dress.
•Oo-la-la! That pumpkin sure knows how to rhumba!
•Ewww! This looks like mustard, but it tastes like you!
[Season 3, episode 12: "Mona Lisa"]
•Where is the library, and why is your nose filled with ointment?
•Do not clap your hands when I sneeze in your face. But please clap your hands for our musical guest...MONTECO!
•You look different. Did you brush your nose hair?
- Ed: "Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger; can I take your order?"
- Ed: "Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger. Is there anything in my nose?"
- Customer: [guest star Tracy Lynn Sullivan] "I don't know."
[She leaves in disgust]
- Ed: [singing] "I'm a dude, he's a dude, she's a dude, 'cause we're all dudes, hey!"
- Ed: "Uhhh...no?"
- Ed: "That'll be eight bucks."
- Customer: [Katrina Johnson] "Ewwwww; you just got Good Burger bits all over my face!"
- Ed: "Uh...no?"
- Customer: "Yes, you did! You got some in my mouth!"
- Ed: "That'll be eight bucks."
- Customer: "What?! I'm not paying you for your regurgitated burger bits!"
- Customer: [Katrina Johnson] "Can I get a strawberry shake with a Good Burger, please?"
- Ed: "Here you go."
[He hands her a Good Burger covered with strawberry shake]
- Customer: "Ewwwww!"
- Ed: "Oh. It's a new thing. Combo."
- Customer: [Tricia Dickson] "I won! I won!"
- Ed: "Whoa, you one?"
- Customer: "Yes!"
- Ed: "Well...you look so much older."
- Customer: "Um...yeah. Anyway, I have a winning ticket here for one free Good Meal!"
(She shows Ed her winning ticket from the Scratch & Win Ticket game that Good Burger is having)
- Ed: "One free Good Meal! That'll be eight bucks."
- Customer: "No...you're not supposed to charge me money..."
- Pizzaface: "Hey! Don't bag on Walter like that!"
- Pizzaface: "I'm Pizzaface...Walter's friend."
- Repairman: "I'm...Repairman-man-man-man-man-man..."
- Repairman: [after "repairing" a family's flickering lamp] "That lamp won't be giving you any more trouble; I repaired it!"
- Father: [Kevin Kopelow] "No. No, you didn't. You killed it".
- Younger daughter: [Katrina Johnson] "You squashed our helpless lamp!"
- Repairman: "It was nothing!"
- Mother: [Lori Beth Denberg] "It was horrible! You're a bad repairman!"
[The rest of the family, including the older daughter {Alisa Reyes}, looks at her]
- Mother: "...man-man-man-man-man!"
- Okrah: "Today on the Okrah show, you'll be entertained by other people's tragic lives."
- Lump Maroon: [only dialogue] "Jupiter!"
[Lump and his brother Emily and sister Chuck {Reyes} have knocked down their neighbor {Thompson}, who has returned Emily's missing trousers]
- Emily Maroon: "We knocked down Grandma!"
- Neighbor: "Look! I ain't your Grandma! All right?! I'm not related to you Maroons in any way!"
- Lump Maroon: "Jupiter."
- Neighbor: [pointing to Lump] "Especially him!"
- Coach Kreeton: "No, no, no...NO! Don't dance like a buncha crazy dancin' people! This is volleyball; not one of them rock'n'roll videos with the...hoodlum music!"
[Mavis {Kenan Thompson} and Clavis {Kel Mitchell} are sitting in the audience, while laughing at one of Amanda Bynes's and Josh Server's "Squash Boy" sketches]
- Clavis: "Ya hear that, Mavis? They're callin' for somebody named 'SQUASH BOY'!"
- Mavis: "Yeah...that's funny! Never heard of a boy...made entirely outta squash...before!"
- Baggin' Saggin' Barry: [Kenan Thompson] "I thought I had the biggest, baggiest pants in the world...then I met Baggin' Saggin' Mary."
- [Earlier, the other students at Dullmont Jr. High School had asked Baggin' Saggin' Barry and Baggin' Saggin' Mary {Alisa Reyes} to pull various objects out of their pants; one of the things was a white TV set with red polka-dots. Mary also had a remote control, but Barry didn't. Before that, one of the students [Denberg] had requested pumpkin juice, and Barry had only a pumpkin to give her. Mary, however, did have a can of pumpkin juice, and she was sure that her trousers could hold more things than his could]
- Clavis: "You've been blessed with magic trousers. Use your gift. You just gotta reach deep down in your pants...and pull out things you never knew you had. Reach down deep."
- Coach Kreeton: "Oh, the life I live is sad!"
- Coach Kreeton: "Aww, my happiness is a memory!"
- Coach Kreeton: "Hehe! Hehe! Hehe! Goo-oo-ood..."
- Coach Kreeton: "Oh, why must you upset me in ways I can't understand?!"
- Coach Kreeton: "I demand to see a hall, pass, ticket, slip!"
- Coach Kreeton: "All right; now, tell me what's in your book...pack...bag...sack!"
- Commander Feeble: [Josh Server; of Repairman's "repairs" to the U. S. S. Inferior space shuttle] "LET'S GET OUTTA HERE BEFORE HE REPAIRS US ALL!"
- Dr. Kay: [Kel Mitchell] "All right, all right, it's the one, it's the only, but never lonely, Diggy-Diggy-Dr. Kay! Hey, if you parents out there have any questions about your kids, make my telephone dance; let's go! Say 'Hey', to Diggy-Diggy-Dr. Kay!"
- Man on the phone: "Hey, uh, hey, Dr. Kay, listen, uh, I have a 9-year-old son, and, well, he keeps puttin' on his sister's clothes. What do I do?"
- Dr. Kay: "Uh, puts on his sister's clothes. Uh, what's the name?"
- Man on the phone: "Steven."
- Dr. Kay: "Tell me, does Steven look good in a dress?"
- Man on the phone: "Yes, he does."
- Dr. Kay: "A 9-year-old son, wears his sister's clothes...Dr. Kay's advice; call the boy 'Stephanie'! Problem solved!"
[He rings his gong with his slingshot]
- Dr. Prober: [during Ishboo's checkup] "Let me just check your ears. That's all right."
[He checks Ishboo's left ear, and sees Ren and Stimpy, from The Ren & Stimpy Show; they are screaming while blasting off into outer space in the episode "Space Madness"]
- Dr. Prober: "Oh! Let me check the other one."
- Ishboo: "Okey-dokey."
- [He checks Ishboo's right ear, and sees a polar bear]
- Singo: [of the U. S. S. Spaceship; singing] "Okay, Captain; have no fear; just tell me what you wanna hear..."
- [A boy named Jake Feta has just used a "cheese fizz", and has thus been arrested by the Cheese Police]
- Jake Feta [Thompson]: [to Officer Jack Colby, of the Cheese Police] "But you said we were friends!"
- Officer Jack Colby: "Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I once said I was Dorothy from The Wizard Of Oz. But ya don't see Toto...do ya?"
- Officer Jack Colby: "Man. If it isn't one cheese, it's another other! It's another other! I'm...on my way!"
- [Kiki and Fran are stranded on an uncharted island.]
- Fran [Denberg]: "Kiki, we've been on this island for three years..."
- Kiki: [singsong] "Three years, two months, one wee-eek!"
- Kiki: [singing] "Fran's here, and I'm here, and you're here, and you're gonna be heeeeeere...forrrrrever-"
- Fran [Denberg]: "Stop it."
- Kiki: "--and ever--"
- Fran: "Stop it!"
- Kiki: "--and ever--"
- Fran: "STOP IT!"
- Kiki: "--and ever--"
- [Fran knocks herself out.]
- Kiki: "--and ever...."
- Sosumi: [of the U. S. S. Spaceship] "Pigginoids; no! I was harmed and taunted by Pigginoids when I was a little girl!"
- Captain Tantrum: [Amanda Bynes; singsong] "No one cares..."
- Mandy: "Mmmm; the chocolate does wonders for the nails."
- Mandy: "Looks like it's raining chocolate syrup. And...can it be snowing chocolate sprinkles?"
- Penny Lane: [to Superdude] "No, the milk will harm you! You're lactose-intolerant!"
- Jaleel White: [as Steve Urkel] "Surprise! Ha-ha, did I do thaaaaaat?"
- Other character: "It's a tent!"
[Season 1, episode 1 {"TLC"}; Baggin' Saggin' Barry [Kenan Thompson] has pulled one out of his pants, which magically hold things that people want and need; this was Bates's first line in an All That sketch]
- Beth: [a Good Burger employee] "Let's go, guys".
[Season 2, episode 20 {"IV Example"}; this was Bates's final line in an All That sketch]
- Ashley: [starts to read a letter] "'Dear Ashley'...tha-a-at's me!"
- Gina: "And like, welcome to...'What-Everrr!", with me, Gina!"
- Jiffy Springs: [sings] "I'm a teeny-weeny bopper-beany, I'm so nice and he's so meany!"
- Sky: [holds up the painting that she has just done] "I call it...Robot...Blowing His Nose."
- Ashley: "Our next letter comes from...Lisa Lillian, of Queens, New York. Lisa writes...'Dear Ashley'...thaaaat's me! 'Dear Ashley, my name is Lisa. I just bought a new sweater. It is green. Sincerely, Lisa.'"
- [long pause]
- Ashley: "WHO STINKIN' CARES?! THIS IS CALLED ' ASK ASHLEY'! NOT ' BORE ASHLEY TO STINKIN' DEATH'!"
- Ashley: [mocking] "Gee, I'm Lisa Lillian, and I just bought a new sweater...it is green...I'm a moron..."
- Ashley: [normal voice] "...and blah-dee-blah-dee-blah-dee-blah-dee-BLAH!"
- Ashley: "Our next letter comes from...Ellis Hollen, of Glendale, California. Ellis writes... 'Dear Ashley'...thaaaat's me! 'Dear Ashley, I left the door to my house wide open this morning and went to school. When I got home...all my stuff was gone. My TV, my stereo, my couch, my other TV...everything. Did all of my stuff turn invisible? Maybe it all just got up and ran away from home. Ashley, what do you think?'. What do I think? Well, Ellis, I think...YOU WERE STINKING ROBBED! BURGLED! THIEVED! RIPPED OFF! I ALSO THINK THAT YOU ARE DUMBER THAN THE STINKING COUCH THAT WAS STOLEN FROM YOU!"
- Ashley: [mocking] "I'm Ellis; whatever, and...I believe that all my stuff turned invisible. And blah-dee-blah-dee-blah-dee-blah-dee..."
- Ashley: [normal voice] "...BLAH!"
- Ashley: "Our final letter comes from...Nicole Lepou, of Paris, France. Nicole writes...'Dear Ashley'...thaaaat's me! ' Dear Ashley, je m'appelle Nicole, et je viens de France. J'en chez qui dormant jour du j'en beau. Porquois un chat entil, en le tant le j'en beau? ' "
[This is from season 4, episode 1 {"Mace"}; it is French for "My name is Nicole, and I am from France. I have someone who sleeps all day long. Why is a cute cat so beautiful?"]
- Dr. Debbie: [a cheerleading doctor] "Pain, pain, go away; come again...NEVER!"
- Janitor Gaseous: "Squat and rot!"
- Jack Campbell: "I'm gonna collect all this evidence...with my face!"
- Jack Campbell: "I'm Jack Campbell, Fat Cop!"
- Francis the Caveman: "Me Francis, and I'm a caveman."
- Hairy Spice: "Sweaty, you better be careful around all this electrical equipment; I mean, you're just dripping in sweat. And everybody knows that water and electricity...don't mix."
- Jessica: "And, like, my name is Jessica; rrrr!"
- Jessica: [singsong] "We caught a Kobe..."
[She and Gina, on their "What-Everrr!" segment, have trapped guest star Kobe Bryant {1978-2020} in a cage; he was a shooting guard for the Los Angeles Lakers, and he was 20 when he appeared on this sketch]
- Winter Wonders: "I'm Winter Wonders, and this is the game show called What Do You Do?*, where our panel tries to figure out what some kid does."
- Lt. Fondue: [of the U. S. S. Spaceship]' "Captain! What is we gonna do?!"
- Lt. Fondue: "Captain! I'm receivin' a trans-mishy-on from the alien ship that attack-ed-ed us!"
*Figure It Out (1997-1999), of which What Do You Do? was a parody, was hosted by Summer Sanders.
- Leroy: "Fuzz, we're not done yet. We should have a blow-dryer."
- Fuzz: [a blue puppet, voiced and operated by Kevin Carlson] "A blow-dryer? But that's not a blow-dryer; that's an industrial strength leaf-blower!"
- Billy Fuco: "I'M BILLY FUCO!"
- LaTanya: "Okaaaaay!"
- LaTanya: "It's time to get our freak on!"
- Quik'N'Fast customer [Mark Saul]: "Can I just buy these breath mints?"
- LaTanya: "Ugh! You need 'em, Mr. Garbage Mouth!"
- Sweaty Spice: "Boy Power!"
- Sweaty Spice: "Look, Burt; this just ain't workin'. Sorry..."
- Hypno-Pants: "Stare into my butt!"
Other
[edit]- Josh: [to Kenan, after getting amnesia due to a concussion from a falling spotlight] "'Josh'. 'Josh'. Why does everyone keep calling me 'Josh'? My name is Lord Swainsboro of Fontcastle...you lout." "'Lout'? Who you callin' a 'lout'?"
- Kenan: [to Katrina Johnson] "Hey, what's a lout?"
- Katrina: "I don't know. But he's Lord Swainsboro of Fontcastle."
- Lori Beth Denberg: "Well, ever since he got hit on the head, he thinks he's an English gentleman from the 18th century."
- Katrina: "Oh, c'mon; cut it out, Josh. This isn't funny."
- Josh: "Gentlepeople! I must ask you to refrain from calling me by this...'Josh'. My name is Lord Swainsboro of Fontcastle."
- Lori Beth: "We gotta snap him outta this before the show starts."
- Katrina: "Yeah; he's in the first scene."
- Josh: [to Katrina] "Ah, good lady, I beg your pardon. But the only appointment on my schedule today is for afternoon tea. I'm meeting Lord Worcestershire at 4 PM this very day."
- Kenan: "Oh, he's been goin' off the deep end; see, somethin' wrong. Somethin' wrong."
[Amanda Bynes walks in]
- Amanda: "Hi, everybody!"
- Kenan: "'Manda!"
[They fist-bump]
- Lori Beth: "Hi, Amanda, hi."
- Josh: "Oh; what a delightful young cherub."
[He kneels before Amanda]
- Amanda: "What's with him?"
- Kenan: "He got hit in the head with a light. Now he thinks he's Lord Fruitcake of Freakspit."
- Kopelow: "Five minutes! The show starts in five minutes!"
- Kopelow: "Listen up. I'm just here to tell ya, that in ten minutes, the show will be startin' in five minutes."
- Roseanne Barr: [Katrina Johnson] "I got a wicked rash".
- Henry Ross Perot: [Johnson] "Well, if it ain't my good friend, Earboy, and his I-talian friend, Pizzaface!"
- Alex Mack/Sax: [guest star Larissa Oleynik, from The Secret World of Alex Mack] "I'm Alex Sax."
- Annie Mack: [Reyes; traditionally played by Meredith Bishop] "I'm her smart sister."
- Ray Alvarado: [Mitchell; traditionally played by Darris Love] "And I'm in no way related."
- Dan Schneider: "Hiiiii, everyone! It's time for 'Ask Ashley'!"
- Swinestein: [Tricia Dickson; a Pigginoid alien, from the planet Porkus II] "I am Swinestein, leader of the Pigginoid ship!"
- Earboy: [disguised as "Mr. X", on Okrah's show] "People just make fun of my--well, they make fun of me. Yeah...they make fun of me, Okrah."
- Mýa Harrison: [Describing the perils of live television] "...And if things go horribly wrong, we'll show this video clip of Rhineheart the Dancing Monkey-Boy."
Dialogue
[edit]- Announcer: "Not quite live, but ready for prime time, from Nickelodeon Studios in Orlando, FL., it's All That!"
[This was the introduction to the very first All That episode]
- [How Randy and Mandy usually introduce their cooking sketch; "Cooking With Randy & Mandy"]
- Randy: "Hi! I'm Randy!"
- Mandy: "And I'm Mandy!"
- Randy and Mandy: [in unison] "And this is 'Cooking With...'"
- Randy: "'...Randy...'"
- Mandy: "'...and Mandy'! Hi, Randy!"
- Randy: "Hi, Mandy!"
- Randy: "I'm Randy!"
- Mandy: "And I'm Mandy!"
- Randy and Mandy: [in unison] "And this is "Cooking With Randy & Mandy"!
[Season 1, episode 2 {"Da Brat"}; this is the only episode in which Randy and Mandy say this line completely in unison]
- Mandy: "Moms tend to overlook the benefits of chocolate."
- Randy: "Mainly that it tastes very, very good."
- Mandy: "Our next dish is nachos."
- Randy: "First, you place the chips in a microwaveable plate..."
- Mandy: "...and then you add chocolate."
- Randy: "Chocolate bars..."
- Mandy: "...chocolate chips..."
- Randy: "...chocolate sprinkles..."
- Mandy: "...chocolate powder..."
- Randy: "...chocolate syrup..."
- Randy and Mandy: [in unison] "...any kind of chocolate, really."
- Randy: "Because once they mesh together, they become one harmonious chocolate holiday; a celebration of chocolate, if you will."
- Mandy: "Randy, is chocolate good for chapped lips?"
- Randy: "I HAVE NO IDEA!"
- Square dance caller: [guest star Tim Farmer] "Choose your partner! Do-si-do! Swing your partner 'round and 'round; pick him up and throw him down! Yee-ha! Kick him in the side, kick him in the head; change his name from Bob to Ted!"
[What the "What-Everrr!" girls usually say]
- Gina and Jessica: [in unison] "Okay, okay, okay, okay, OKAY!!!"
- Volunteer: [guest star Chris Edgerly] "So, Presto…here I am to help you with your 'magic'."
(He comes onto the stage)
- Presto: [a “magician”, played by Thompson] "Um…I will now hypnotize this gentleman."
- Volunteer: "Yeah; why don't you give it a try?"
[Presto waves a gold watch in front of the volunteer's eyes, but nothing happens]
- Presto: "You are becoming sleepy...sleepy...very sleepy..."
- Volunteer: "No...I'm not."
- Presto: "Yes, you are. See, when I snap my fingers, you will be under my spell."
[Presto snaps his fingers, and still nothing happens]
- Presto: "See? He's hypnotized."
- Volunteer: "No...I'm not."
- Presto: "You think--you're a duck."
- Volunteer: "I think you stink."
- Presto: "Thank you!"
- Volunteer: "And I'm not hypnotized."
- Presto: "You think you're not hypnotized..."
- Volunteer: "Oh, man; this is ridiculous!"
- Presto: "You think this is ridiculous..."
- Volunteer: "That's it! I'm outta here!"
- Presto: "Ooh...you feel a sudden urge to go."
- Volunteer: "Oh; magic, my butt!"
[He returns to the audience]
- Josh: "In honor of the holiday season, some of our cast members are gonna come out and entertain you with some lovely Christmas carols; isn't that right, everybody?"
[The audience applauds]
- Josh: "With further ado; Alisa, Katrina, Angelique, and Lori Beth...clap your hands, guys."
[The audience applauds again, and Lori Beth starts playing "Deck the Halls" on the piano]
- Lori Beth: [singing] "Christmastime is fun and jolly..."
- Alisa, Katrina, and Angelique: [singing] "Dibby dobby doo, da da da da..."
- Lori Beth: [singing] "Kiss the ham, and say, 'Oh, golly!'..."
- Alisa, Katrina, and Angelique: [singing] "Dibby dobby doo, da da da da..."
- Lori Beth: [singing] "Sniff your goose, and roast your chestnuts..."
- Mavis and Clavis: [Kenan and Kel; in the audience, mocking] "Dibby dobby doo, da da da..."
- Mavis and Clavis: [normal voices] "...shut up!"
- Lori Beth: "Hey; we're trying to sing a song..."
- Clavis: [he and Mavis come up onstage] "Tryin'" is right!"
- Mavis: "Uh-huh; tryin' and failin' ..."
- Alisa: "Oh, and I suppose you two can do any better?"
- Mavis: "Nope."
- Clavis: "But our nephews sure could."
- Katrina: "Oh, yeah; well, who's your nephews?"
- Clavis: "Well, they're around here somewhere."
- Mavis: "Run...DMC!"
- Clavis: "Jay!"
[The members of the rap group and musical guest Run DMC--Joseph Simmons {"Run"}, Darryl McDaniels {"DMC"}, and Jam Master Jay--appear onstage]
- Lori Beth: "Run DMC?"
- Angelique: "They're your nephews?"
- Clavis: "Well, you see, Run is my grandnephew."
- Mavis: "And DMC...he's my next-door neighbor's brother's chiropractor."
- Clavis: "And we don't know who Jay is, but he looks like a fine young man."
- Mavis: "Now, if we're gonna have some Christmas singin', I suggest we let Run DMC do it."
- DMC: "Word up; we're gonna take that Christmas song and flip it to our style."
[Later, Run DMC perform "Christmas in Hollis"]
[Bobby and his younger sister Hazel are playing a video game, and their parents come in and stop them]
- Mother: [Denberg] "See, honey? I told you! Look at them!"
- Father: [Tim Goodwin] "Unbelievable; kids…stop what you’re doing right now!"
[Bobby and Hazel stop playing]
- Mother: "Video games; is that all you kids ever do?!"
- Bobby: [Server] "No…sometimes we watch cartoons."
- Father: "That’s enough out of you, young man!"
[He turns off the TV]
- Bobby and Hazel: [in unison] "Awwwww…"
- Mother: "Don’t say 'Aw'. Hazel…go do your homework immediately! After that, you’re to clean up the kitchen and read that set of encyclopedias!"
- Hazel: [Johnson] "The whole set of encyclopedias?!"
- Father: "Mm-hmm."
- Hazel: "Aw, man!"
[She goes off to do her homework]
- Bobby: "Tough luck, kid."
- Father: "And you, young man…take out the garbage and then go mow the lawn."
- Bobby: "I mowed the lawn."
- Father: "Then mow the neighbors’ lawn."
- Bobby: "It’s nighttime."
- Father: "Then practice your harp."
- Bobby: "Aw, Dad…"
[He goes off to practice his harp]
- Hazel: "Parents…"
- Bobby: "Unbelievable!"
- Hazel: "I wonder if there’s another world out there. Another planet…where kids get what they want."
- Bobby: "I don’t know about that. Another world? Where kids get what they want? I don’t know."
[He cracks his knuckles loudly]
- Bobby: "I’m gonna practice my harp now."
[He begins to do so]
- Hazel: "A better planet…a better life…I wonder…"
- Hazel: [echoing] "...wonder…wonder…wonder…"
[She visualizes a cube-shaped Earth-like planet, which is therefore at least 5,700 miles in length, width, and height; on this planet, she and her family have blue skin]
- Alternate mother: "See, honey, I told you; look at them!"
[Alternate Bobby is practicing his harp and alternate Hazel is doing her homework]
- Alternate father: "Unbelievable! Kids, stop this immediately!"
- Alternate mother: "Just what do you think you’re doing?!"
- Alternate Hazel: "My homework..."
- Alternate mother: "Homework! You’re doing homework when you have video games to play?!
- Alternate Hazel: "Sorry…"
- Alternate mother: "Young lady, you stand over there and play 'Alien Strikes' until you get 50,000 points! "
- Alternate Hazel: "All right…"
[She starts playing said video game, which is on an arcade machine]
- Alternate Hazel: "Take that, alien boy!"
- Alternate father: [to alternate Bobby] "No more harp playing for you, Mr. Musician! If you wanna play something…play this!"
[He holds up an electric guitar, which is plugged into an amp]
- Alternate Bobby: "Okay, Dad."
[He takes the guitar, then turns on the amp and starts playing]
- Alternate mother: "The volume! "
- Alternate Bobby: "Oh…right, Mom; sure!"
[He turns up the volume, and continues playing]
- Alternate mother: "There ya go!"
- Hazel: "62,000! That’s the new high score!"
- Alternate mother: "Oh, honey; we’re so proud!"
[She and alternate Hazel hug]
- Alternate father: "We’re proud of you both. In fact, I think I know two kids who deserve a week off from school!"
- Alternate Bobby: "Thanks, Pop."
- Alternate Hazel: "Thanks!"
- Alternate mother: "Oh, my; I almost forgot dinner!"
- Alternate father: "All right, kids; you heard your mother! Everyone, put your hands in the dirt!"
[He holds up a Tupperware container filled with dirt, and alternate Bobby and alternate Hazel rub their hands in it]
- Alternate Hazel: "Hey, Mom; what’s for dinner?"
- Alternate Bobby: "Yeah; we’re starvin’!"
- Alternate mother: "A giant bowl of ice cream!"
[She presents a glass bowl about 6 feet wide and at least 2 feet high, which is filled with pistachio ice cream and chocolate sauce; it's topped with a cherry the size of Bobby’s head; he and alternate Hazel cheer and start eating]
- Alternate mother: "Oh, don’t be shy! Dive in!"
[Alternate Bobby and alternate Hazel climb into the ice cream]
- Alternate father: "Now, remember, kids; chew with your mouths open!"
- Alternate Hazel: "Oh, it’s delicious!"
- Alternate Bobby: "Mom…um, after dinner, can we go outside and play some ball?"
- Alternate Hazel: "Oh, Dad; can we?"
- Alternate mother: "Play ball?!"
- Alternate father: "Outside?!"
- Alternate mother: "Is something wrong with our living room?!"
- Alternate Bobby and alternate Hazel: [in unison] "NO-O-O…"
[Their parents help them out of the ice cream, and then the alternate mother picks up a football]
- Alternate mother: [to the alternate father] "Here ya go, honey!"
- Alternate father: [catching the ball] "Woo! Little football!"
- Alternate Bobby: "Dad, I’m open!"
[The family continues playing; in doing so, they break various objects in the house]
- Alternate Hazel: "Hey, Bobby; go long!"
[She throws the ball to alternate Bobby; he catches it]
- Alternate Bobby: "Touchdown!"
[He jumps into the ice cream again, and throws the ball at a window, breaking it]
- Alternate Bobby: "Hop in, sis!"
[Hazel joins him the ice cream]
- Eddie: [Server] "NO-O-O-O!! WAIT FOR ME, MR. ICE CREAM TRUCK MAN!!"
[He is trying to stop the O'Bese Bros. Ice Cream truck, which is white {except for the pink roof of the ice cream compartment} and has a picture of a lemon ice cream cone on each door of the driver's cab; the truck is adorned with numerous moulds of soft-serve ice cream cones; a strawberry one as a hood ornament, a chocolate one on each front wheel, a strawberry one on each rear wheel, a chocolate one on the back of the ice cream compartment, a vanilla/strawberry swirl one on the right and left sides each of the ice cream compartment, a chocolate one on each corner of the roof, two vanilla ones on the front and back each of the roof, and five vanilla ones on the right and left each of the roof; the truck also has a mould of a hard-serve chocolate ice cream cone on each mudflap, and a sculpture of a giant sundae on the top of the roof]
- Eddie: [after the truck finally stops] "You...give me ice cream."
- Driver: [writer Heath Seifert; starts to hand him a sundae] "That'll be one buck..."
- Eddie: [reaching into his pockets and finding out that he forgot his money] "NO-O-O-O!!"
[A guy and a girl have broken up, and Repairman is trying to "repair" their relationship]
- Guy: [Server] "Mr. Repairman, why don't you just leave us alone?!"
- Repairman: "Not until I've repaired your relationship; now, kiss!"
- Guy and girl: [in unison] "What?!"
- Repairman: "Kiss. Like this..."
[He hugs the guy kisses him on the lips]
- Guy: [shocked] "Hey, man; what did you do that for?!"
- Repairman: "It was fun! Now, kiss."
- Guy: "No!"
- Girl: [Reyes] "Never!"
- Repairman: "But you must. Kiss!"
[He knocks their heads together, and they fall to the ground unconscious]
[On What Do You Do, Kevin Kopelow {as himself}, Principal Pimpell, Miss Fingerly, and Coach Kreeton are trying to figure out what the contestant, Kalie Lib, does {she licks lobsters}]
- Winter Wonders: "Principal Pimpell?"
- Principal Pimpell: "Principal William Baines Pimpell...now, Kalie, as Principal of Dullmont Junior High School, let me ask you this question."
[This should be "...I'd like to ask you this question"]
- Principal Pimpell: "Does what you do...have anything to do...with the nasty, bulbous pimple on my forehead?"
- Kalie: [Bynes] "Uh, no."
- Miss Fingerly: "My turn; my turn."
- Coach Kreeton: "Da-a-ah!"
- Miss Fingerly: "Kalie...does what you do have anything to do...with the nasty, bulbous pimple on Principal Pimpell's forehead?"
- Kalie: "I said, 'No'."
- Principal Pimpell: "Now, Miss Fingerly, if you have listened...you would know that I had already posted that question prior to what you were sayin'."
- Miss Fingerly: [tries to pop Principal Pimpell's pimple] "Why won't that pop?"
- Toby Braun: "We have some testimonials...of people...who have used The Board!"
- Harold: [Bynes] "I used to be an unemployed, out-of-shape, 400-pound man named Harold, and now look at me! The Board changed my life."
- Antoine: "I used to just sit around...and do nothin'...before I got The Board...and, now I have it. What it is."
- Lump Maroon: "Jupiter!"
- Harold: "Thank you, The Board!"
- Lump Maroon: "Jupiter!"
- Robert: [Server; one of Miss Fingerly's students; he is sharing his chicken pox for show and tell] "Right now, I have a fever of about..."
[He checks his thermometer]
- Robert: "...104. I'm feeling very hot...and uncomfortable. Let's compare your temperature...with mine."
[He takes the thermometer out of his mouth and puts it in another student's mouth]
- Other student: [Reyes, taking the thermometer out of her mouth in disgust] "Ew; this was just in your mouth!"
- Mýa Harrison: [on the 100th episode] "Hey, I'm here with former cast members Alisa, Angelique, and Katrina. Do you guys have any favorite moments from All That?"
- Alisa Reyes: "How about the time the most popular guy in school invited me to the prom?"
- Angelique Bates: "And then your brother Greg Brady hit you in the face with a football."
- Katrina Johnson: "Yeah, and then your nose swelled up like a cassaba melon."
- Mýa Harrison: "Um...that was The Brady Bunch; none of that ever happened on All That."
[They are referencing the episode "The Subject was Noses" of The Brady Bunch, and it was actually Peter {Christopher Knight} who caused Marcia {Maureen McCormick} to get a swollen nose]
Second Run (seasons 7-10)
[edit]- Bridget: "Hi! I'm Bridget, and this is my...SLUMBER PARTY!"
- Abby Rhodes: "Like, okay, okay?"
- Mega Butt: "Butt powers ACTIVATE!"
- Claudia: "When life gives me lemons, I suck them."
- Claudia: "I want to give you all an infection."
- Bridget: "Infect people later..."
- Heather Darling: "INCOMING!!!"
- Kaffy: "MY HEART IS POUNDING LIKE A JACKHAMMER!"
- Harry Bladder: "Weenius nosium!"
[Sacco {Lyons} had enlarged Herhiney's {Foiles} buttocks]
- Brian Peafest: "Who will be the next American Idiot?"
- Buzz: "MY PULSE IS RACING FASTER THAN THE SPEED OF LIGHT!"
- Ernie: "Here comes the loopy-de-loop."
- Randy Quench: "I'm Randy Quench; Volunteer Fireman".
- Other character: [Brummet] "You're a volunteer lunatic..."
- Randy Quench: "Here comes me!"
- Randy Quench: "Please. I'm no hero. I'm just a man...who often forgets to take his medication".
- Randy Quench: "Young lady, you were standing awfully close to that fire! You might be suffering from smoke inhalation! I better give her mouth-to-mouth reciprification*".
* One of Quench's malapropisms for "resuscitation".
- Mandy Snackson: "Dawg, you did your thing."
- Miss Fishtail: [the driving instructor] "Don't be distracted by distractions!"
- Gill: "Once upon a time...there was this little puppy named Cuddles. And then...Cuddles ate a huge banana split!"
- Re-Ron: "I'm Harry Bladder's precocious best friend!"
- Zigfried: "KUMQUAT!...jerk."
- Thelma Stump: "Got any bacon?...Bacon's goo-oo-ood."
- Carlee: "I'm Carlee--"
- Marlee: [Foiles] "--and I'm Marlee--"
- Both: [in unison] "--and we've got a passion for trashin' fashion! Uh-huh!"
- Poncy Flavin: "How much time do we have before we have to pull our ripcords?"
- Percy Flavin: [DeSena] "Well, according to my watch..."
[They land in a restaurant; they had been attempting a build a birdhouse while skydiving]
- Marcy: [Foiles] "Sunshine Sally, do you want your bottle?"
- Sunshine Sally: [a life-sized talking doll, played by Kirkman] "Nah; I want a taco".
- Marcy: "But I don't have any tacos".
- Sunshine Sally: "So, steal a car, and go get me some tacos!"
- Kareena Jones: "Sass-er-frass!"
- Kareena Jones: "No flapjacks for you TODAY!!"
- Cupid: "I don't like it now, and I didn't like it when I was a tall white guy!"
[This role had previously been played by Lyons]
- Jeff Bester: "When it comes to safety, I know bester!"
- Jeff Bester: "Yo-yo's going crazy."
- Jeff Bester: "Jeff Bester deems these crayons...UNSAFE!"
[He makes a loud buzzer noise]
Dialogue
[edit]- Heather Darling: [reading a letter delivered by Cupid {Shane Lyons}] "Melody says, 'Dear Brad and Heather, I have a crush on this really cute guy, and I think he likes me, too, because he flirts with me all the time, and he walked me home from school yesterday'".
- Brad Dashman: [Jack DeSena] "The ladies like it when you walk ‘em".
- Heather Darling: "This lady sure does! Anyhoo, Melody says, 'But there’s only one problem; he’s dating this really annoying girl named Heather'...that's my name!"
Third Run (season 11)
[edit]- Other character: [Lex Lumpkin] "Bro! Is that new girl, Ashley, starin' at ya?"
[At a school dance, Lumpkin's character and his friend Trad are looking at the aforementioned girl, T@$#le!gh, who is looking back at Trad]
- Trad: "Probably. I'm gonna go up to her; no, I'm not; yes, I am; should I?"
- Other characters: [Lex Lumpkin and Chinquun Sergelen] "BRO-O-O-O!"
- Trad: "Whatever. I don't care".
- T@$#le!gh: [Ryan Alessi] "O...M...G; should I, like...go up to him?"
- Other character: [Kate Godfrey] "Yes, girl".
- Other character: [Reece Caddell] "Do it! Do it now!"
- T@$#le!gh: "Wish me luck. Never mind; I don't need it".
[Trad and T@$#le!gh walk up to each other]
- Trad: "Uhhhhhhh..."
- T@$#le!gh: "Ummmmmm..."
[There is a long pause]
- T@$#le!gh: "Hey."
- Trad: "Hey. 'Sup, Ashleigh?"
- T@$#le!gh: "It's 'T@$#le!gh'. T-'at' sign-dollar sign-hash...but it's like...honestly, it's whatever".
- Alicia: "Good morning! I'm Alicia, your barista! Welcome to Coffee Coffee Coffee Coffee Coffee Coffee Coffee! Would you like to taste-test our new espresso?!"
- Literally Liza: "I'm Literally Liza, here to make sure that when you say the word 'literally', you literally mean it!"
- Vermin Village Pizza employee: [singing] "Happy, clappy birthday, from Verminville to you; we wish it was our birthday, so we could party...too...".
(The tune with which he sings this was also featured in the episode "Doug's Big Feat", of the 1990s Nicktoon Doug, created by Jim Jinkins)
- Darcy: [a cheerleader of Dullmont Jr. High School] "I'm Darcy! D, A, R, C, Y...why?...because you asked me!"
- Finn Wolfhard: [as Mike Wheeler, from Stranger Things] "I've been to the other side! I saw the beast face to face! He crawled inside my nose, and--"
[He groans]
- Finn Wolfhard/Mike Wheeler: [deep voice] "I WILL DESTROY THE WORLD!"
- Ava Allswell: [a reporter for KNCK, played by Green] "A serious crime took place here and we need answers. Um, now…police say the statue was defaced between the hours of 4 and 5 AM. You were awake?"
- Tammy TMI: "Oh, I don’t follow a traditional sleep schedule. I take thousands of 1-second-long naps all throughout the day. In fact, I’ve already taken 14 naps since we started this interview…15!"
[Later]
- Ava Allswell: "Tammy…you were the only person who saw what happened here today, and you’re giving us nothing but useless information about yourself!"
- Tammy TMI: "Oh, I’m happy to tell you whatever information you want about myself. A witch cursed my uncle, and now he’s my goldfish."
- Ava Allswell: "Tammy…"
- Tammy TMI: "I once sneezed so hard, milkshake came out of my ears! "
[Later, she does so, and tastes the milkshake]
- Tammy TMI: "Mmmm, strawberry. Or peanut butter. I can’t tell. I lost my taste buds in a bowling accident."
- Ava Allswell: "Tammy!"
- Millie Bobby Brown (as Eleven, from Stranger Things): "I...love...lake!"
- Dell Devine: [host of the severely misnamed game show Simplicity] "How many eggs are in a dozen?"
- Larry Van Halen: [Chinquun Sergelen] "12!"
[A fisherman carrying a largemouth spotted bass enters, and he hits Larry with it)
- Larry Van Halen: "Hey! What was that?!"
- Dell Devine: "You got the answer wrong. So you got slapped in the face with a largemouth spotted bass!"
- Larry Van Halen: "But…a dozen is 12."
- Dell Devine: "But, in Round 6, all the answers are supposed to be divided by 6, so the correct answer is 2. Linda?"
- Linda Schnutzenburger: [Reece Caddell] "9."
- Larry Van Halen: "You’re gonna slapped with a fish—"
(The fisherman returns and again hits Larry with the fish)
- Larry Van Halen: "Why me? The correct answer was 2."
- Dell Devine: "That’s because you are in Round 6. Linda is in Round 3. The rules are pretty clear, Larry."
[It's not clear if, in Round 3, the answers are supposed to be multiplied by ¾ or have 3 subtracted from them]
- Linda Schnutzenburger: [to Larry] "What are you not understanding?"
- Larry Van Halen: "A lot!"
- Gaten Matarazzo: [as Dustin Henderson, from Stranger Things] "There could be spies listening to our every word."
