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Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel

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Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel is a 2009 American live-action/CGI comedy film and sequel to Alvin and the Chipmunks.

Alvin

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  • So, this is a classroom. [sniffs] I love the smell of zit cream in the morning!
  • I am going to crack you like an acorn and eat you for dinner! With some fava beans and a nice chianti. (imitates Hannibal Lecter)
  • Everybody, shake what your mama gave y'all!
  • Holla! The Cheese Balls are in the issues! [singing a parody of "Stayin' Alive"]
  • [after meeting Brittany] I never thought I'd say this, but pink is my new favorite color.
  • [as he and his brothers are shocked at seeing the Chipettes with Ian] They are with Ian?!
  • [pointing to Ian Hawke; threateningly] Oh, it is on like Donkey Kong!
  • [to Simon after finding him in the dumpster] Okay. I am a total jerk. I admit it. So, are we cool, now? [holds out his hand for Simon to shake but Simon violently pulls him in the dumpster and starts wrestling him]
  • [to an eagle as it is about to harm Theodore] Look, I get why you want Theodore. I do. But I am sorry, I cannot let that happen. He is my brother. Not that he'd know that, because I have been such a big jerk lately. If anyone deserves to be eaten, it is me. [the eagle comes closer to him] Whoa, whoa, whoa! Not literally!

Simon

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  • I thought Alvin was messy. This is literally disgusting. I feel like I am living in a dumpster.
  • Oh, you have got to be joking. A taco? In a blanket? Toby!
  • [While playing dodgeball] Glasses! Glasses! You would not hit a guy with glasses, would you?! [Gets hit by a dodgeball] Right in the pancreas.
  • [after meeting Jeanette] Her glasses were quite fetching.
  • [not pleased to see Ian Hawke] I thought I smelled a rat.
  • [to Ryan; irritated through clenched teeth] You still haven't picked up that litter.

Theodore

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  • We can play Monopoly. We play Monopoly with Dave all the time.
  • [after meeting Eleanor] She is like a beautiful green gumdrop.
  • [after the Eagle is mascot falls down the stairs] That was not very fun-ish.
  • [to Eleanor] I think you look great just the way you are.

Brittany

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  • We are so going to destroy those Chipmunks!
  • [after escaping Ian] Hey, Ian! In the words of the Donald: You are fired!
  • Yeah, I know. But guys remember what Ian said "We cannot trust them"

Jeanette

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  • That Simon is dreamy.
  • I do not want to destroy them.

Eleanor

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  • I think Theodore was looking at me!
  • We either sing together, or not at all!

Dialogue

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Alvin and Theodore: Dave!
Simon: Dave, you are alive!
Dave: Hey, guys!
Alvin: It was an accident, I swear!
Theodore: Are you okay?
Alvin: I am sorry, Dave.
Dave: I will be fine. I am just going to be stuck here for a while. And until I get out, I've made arrangements for my Aunt Jackie to come stay with you.
Alvin: Who is Aunt Jackie?
Theodore: The one who sends us those metal buckets of yummy popcorn for Christmas.
Alvin: [remembers] Oh! Popcorn Jackie.
[The Chipmunks answer the phone]
Alvin and Simon: [slowly] Hello?
Dave: Boys, it's me.
Alvin and Simon: Dave!
Alvin: As in, "Dave?!"
[The nurse is holding Dave is phone for him to talk into]
Dave: Well, I guess since you answered the phone, you have not burned down the house yet.
Alvin: Have a little faith, Dave.
Theodore: Yeah! [falls off the pot rack] Mayday! [lands on a pan, and it hits the floor]
Dave: What was that?
Simon: [whispers to Alvin] Do not stress him out.
Alvin: Uh, that was Aunt Jackie. Yeah. She is cooking us a zesty five-course meal.
Dave: Really? Well, can I talk to her?
Theodore: She is practicing her pole dancing.
[Alvin and Simon look at each other, confused, and Theodore shrugs, not knowing what he said]
Dave: Pole dancing? What happened to making dinner? Guys, what is going on?
Alvin: Got to go, Dave!
Dave: Alvin, I am not kidding!
Alvin: Feel better!
Dave: ALVIN-! [Alvin hangs up]
Alvin: Yep. Nobody does that better than him.
Alvin: So, this is a classroom. [sniffs] I love the smell of zit cream in the morning! [he and his brothers hop on the top of Mrs. Ortega's desk; to the female students] Hello, ladies.
[The female students see them, recognizing them]
Female students: Is that the Chipmunks? [they get up from their desks and run over to meet them; excitedly] I love you, Alvin!
Theodore: Hi, I am Theodore. Hi, I am Theodore.
Simon: [covers his mouth] Yes, he is Theodore, in case you missed it. And I am Simon.
[Ian Hawke is living in the basement of Jett Records]
Ian: I had 15 cars. I mean, that's, like, five more cars than anybody really needs. I had seven maids. I had courtside seats to the Lakers. Even my maids had courtside seats to the Lakers. And now look at me. Look at me! [talking to a rat] I lost everything. Except for my dignity. They cannot take that away from me. And it's all because of them. [throws the radio in the dumpster in frustration] Oh, hey. Breakfast. [takes out a muffin] Now I run around hoping and praying that I can find other animals that can sing or dance. I mean… Wait a second. You do not sing, do you? [the rat takes his muffin] Hey! Hey! That is my muffin! [dives into the dumpster to get his muffin back] Give me my muffin, you dirty rat! [vowing] I will get you, Chipmunks.
[The Chipmunks have been talking with the female students at lunch]
Ryan: Listen up, rock stars. If you talk to those girls again, you're dead. If you look at those girls again, you're dead. If you even think about those girls... Are you thinking about them?
Alvin: Well, I am now.
Ryan: That is It. YOU ARE DEAD!
[he tries to catch the Chipmunks, but they escape]
Ryan: Xander, come on!
[Xander follows him]
Xander: Get back here, you dirty rats!
[Ryan and Xander have dropped Simon into the toilet]
Simon: Cannot swim! Help!
Alvin: Grab on, Simon! [pulls Simon out of the toilet]
Simon: Thanks. [shakes himself off]
Alvin: Are you okay?
Simon: Well, uh, considering that you just saved me from drowning in a toilet, I am, uh, pretty good.
Alvin: I will be right back. [walks out of the bathroom and into the corridor]
Simon: [follows him] Alvin, Alvin! We are not going to solve anything with violence.
[They spot their brother hanging in the locker room; Ryan and Xander are poking his rear]
Ryan: It is the fatty ratty.
Theodore: Cut it out!
Ryan: This rat has serious junk in the trunk.
Theodore: Hey!
Xander: Yeah, little fatty.
Theodore: Stop it!
Ryan: He jiggles when I poke him. [Alvin and Simon attack him and Xander with fury] MOMMY!!!!!
[Later, The Chipmunks are waiting outside Dr. Rubin is office]
Theodore: Simon, does this make my butt look smaller? [lowers the bottom of his sweater, covering his butt]
Simon: Theodore, your butt looks fine. Those guys are just jerks.
[Ryan and Xander exit her office, scratched up; Alvin growls and barks viciously at them like a mad dog, forcing them to flee]
Dr. Rubin: Gentlemen. [The Chipmunks enter her office] You threatened to climb inside of him and build a nest.
Simon: That was out of line. I'm not even sure that's physically possible.
Dr. Rubin: I should suspend all three of you.
Alvin: Please do.
Dr. Rubin: Instead, I have a better idea. Due to budget cutbacks, we are in jeopardy of losing our beloved music program.
Simon: That's awful.
Dr. Rubin: I know. But there is one small ray of hope. Every year, the district sponsors a music competition, and the winner's school receives twenty-five thousand dollars. If we win, we can save our program.
Simon: And you want us to perform?
Alvin: 'Cause I did not think you were a fan.
Dr. Rubin: Why do not you sleep on it?
[she reaches for her jacket, revealing a tattoo of the Chipmunks on her left arm, to the Chipmunks' surprise]
Alvin: Wait a minute! What is that?! That is us!
Theodore: I look skinny.
Dr. Rubin: [shocked that they have noticed] Promise me that you will not say anything. A principal has a certain image to uphold, and if the faculty ever found out about this, I could– [laughs excitedly and bangs on her desk] I just cannot believe that you're actually sitting in my office! I have all of your C.D. is. I even went to see you last year in Denver. That is where I got this. [her tattoo] It was my birthday. And I was like, "Ah! The Chipmunks! Ah!". So, what do you say, will you represent our school?
Alvin: Honestly, suspension still sounds pretty good to me.
Theodore: Come on, Alvin. Whattaya say? One for all, and three for one.
Simon: Well put, Theodore. Very well put. Count us in!
Alvin: [unenthusiastically] Yay.
Dr. Rubin: Go, Eagles!
Theodore: Eagles?! Where?!
Simon: Alvin, you promised Theodore we did hang out. We are watching "Meerkat Manor" tonight. No pretty girls.
Alvin: Dude, I cannot swing it today, bro.
Simon: That is what you say every day, Alvin. Need I remind you it's your day to do the laundry?
Ryan: Better listen to your daddy, Alvin. You do not want to get grounded.
[The Chipmunks are rehearsing after meeting and falling in love with the Chipettes]
Alvin: [referring to Brittany] I never thought I did say this, but, pink is my new favorite color.
Simon: [referring to Jeanette] Her glasses were quite fetching.
Theodore: [referring to Eleanor] She is like a beautiful green gumdrop.
[As Alvin and Simon fight over a blanket]
Alvin: Stop hogging.
Simon: I am not hogging.
Alvin: You might as well be rooting out truffles in the French countryside, because you are, in fact, HOGGING!
Simon: I am not!
Alvin: Are so!
Simon: Not!
Simon: You knew about this, Alvin? Does the word "brother" mean anything to you?
Alvin: Yes. Of course.
Ryan: Yeah, well, he has some new brothers now that he's on the football team.
Simon: [turns to Ryan; irritated through clenched teeth] You still have not picked up that litter.
Ryan: You want me to get rid of litter?
Simon: Yeah.
Ryan: Let is start with you! [picks him up]
Simon: Hey, let… Let go. Let go! No! [Ryan throws him in a nearby trash can]
Simon: Alvin, I am going to put this behind us for Theodore is sake.
Alvin: I know. That id why Iam giving you the Alvin guarantee that I will be at that sing-off, Friday night.
Simon: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Why would not you be there?
Alvin: [stammering] Because I have a… [mumbles]
Simon: What?
Alvin: A… [mumbles]
Simon: [not understanding] You have a what?
Alvin: A football game! There, I said it! A football game!
Simon: [sternly] Alvin, do not miss that sing-off.
Alvin: Don't worry, Simon. I will be there. I can do both.
[Mext morning, Alvin looks around for Theodore, attempting to apologize to him, but he was nowhere to be seen]
Alvin: Theodore? Theodore, I don't blame you for being mad. [sees a note on the fridge Theodore left] Uh-oh. [runs over to the fridge; reading the note] "I ran away from home. Don't look for me at the zoo, 'cause I am not there." Oh, no, Theodore.
Ian: How about a little moon roof action? Moon roofs are go! [opens up the limousine is rooftop] Rooves? Moon roof. Roofs? Rooves? Ooh, champagne. Don't mind if I do. [picks up and starts to open a champagne bottle while the Chipettes free themselves from their cage to make their escape as he is distracted] You know why I do not mind if I do? Because tonight, we have got to toast to a very special someone named me. They said I could not do it. They said I did never bounce back. Guess what? Time to kiss my sweet… [opens the bottle is cork and pours some champagne as the Chipettes jump out of the limo] Ooh. A toast to the ladies who are going to make the world forget about the Chipmu… [turns around to the empty cage] What…?
Eleanor: [giggling while sliding down] See ya!
Ian: No. No, no, no! No! What are you doing? Alvin!
Alvin: Hi, Ian! Good to see you! You never write!
Brittany: I guess I owe you an apology about Ian.
Alvin: Stick with me, Brit. I will never steer you wrong.
Brittany: [exclaims] Oh, yeah. I will never doubt you again.
[Ian chases after them with a remote-controlled helicopter, laughing maniacally]
Alvin: I got to say, he is definitely persistent.
[The Chipmunks (except Alvin) and Chipettes are all tucked in their beds, ready for sleep]
Dave: Look at you. All ready for bed. Looks like the Chipettes are a good influence.
Brittany: Thanks, Dave.
Jeanette: Thanks, Dave.
Eleanor: Thanks, Dave. [laughs]
Dave: Okay, guys. Now lights out. Good night, everybody.
Simon: Good night, Jeanette.
Jeanette: Good night, Simon.
Brittany: Good night, Alvin.
Dave: Alvin?
Alvin: I am not tired.
Dave: Sorry, but you've got school tomorrow.
Alvin: Okay.

Cast

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Wikipedia
Wikipedia
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