Answer Me This!

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Answer Me This! is a monthly comedy podcast by Helen Zaltzman and Olly Mann in which they answer questions submitted by the general public. Until recently, the podcast was recorded in Zaltzman's living-room in Crystal Palace. It began in January 2007 and has since become one of the UK's most successful independently produced podcasts.


Helen Zaltzman

  • [After being mocked for her pronunciation of 'penguins'] "Ping-guins, ping-guins, ping-guins! GET OVER IT! Let me live my life!" [1]
  • [After hearing Olly's theory, as Roy Walker] "It's good, but it's not the one!"
  • [Discussing food] "Ginsters are horrible! You might as well just sh*t in a bap."
  • [Discussing hymens] "An elephant's hymen... that must be thick and leathery."
  • "[About an anonymous person mentioned in a question]" "Let's give this boy a name, I dont know... Eugene!"
  • [About the origins of the limo] "This car is stumpy, embiggen it for me!"
  • [About posh honey] "Gather here bees, and shit on my toast!"

Olly Mann

  • [When discussing courgettes] "I like sweating my courgettes."
  • "You are such a f*cking integer"
  • [After being accused of not liking children] "I don't like babies. I like kids. Babies can f**k themselves."
  • [During sketch] "Helen, you fierce tr*nny mess!"

Martin 'the Sound Man'

  • [repeated insult] "You two are a pair of f**king balls." [2]
  • [directed to Charlie from West Kirby during the '09 Eurovision live blog] "Charlie you wang house"
  • "If you can find a part of my body that hasn't got hair on, I'll give you a cake."
  • "If your relationship's that open I'd like to stick my d*ck right in it!"


  • [e-mail jingle] "I've got a question/Then e-mail your question/To" (repeats)


  • [what one listener sings to the theme tune] "Helen and Olly, fondle my t*ts!"
Wikipedia has an article about:
  1. Answer Me This!, Best of Answer Me This 2008 - Podcast Episode.
  2. Answer Me This!, Episode 84