Artemus Ward
Artemus Ward (April 23, 1834 – March 6, 1867) was the nom de plume of Charles Farrar Browne, an American humorous writer.
Quotes
- I am not a politician, and my other habits are good, also.
- Fourth of July Oration.
- The prevailin' weakness of most public men is to Slop over. G. Washington never slopt over.
- Fourth of July Oration.
- I can't sing. As a singist I am not a success. I am saddest when I sing. So are those who hear me. They are sadder even than I am.
- Artemus Ward, His Travels, Lecture (1865).
- Did you ever have the measels, and if so, how many?
- Artemus Ward, His Travels, The Census.
- The Puritans nobly fled from a land of despotism to a land of freedim, where they could not only enjoy their own religion, but could prevent everybody else from enjoyin his.
- London Punch Letters, No. 5 (1866).
- Why is this thus? What is the reason of this thusness?
- Moses, the Sassy.
- He is dreadfully married. "He's the most married man I ever saw in my life."
- Moses, the Sassy.
- Let us all be happy and live within our means, even if we have to borrer [sic] money to do it with.
- Science and Natural History, Letter VII to Punch, part of the Artemus Ward in London series (22 October 1866).
- The sun has a right to "set" where it wants to, and so, I may add, has a hen.
- A Mormon Romance, ch. 4.
- They cherish his mem'ry, and them as sell picturs of his birthplace, etc., make it prof'tible cherishin' it.
- At the Tomb of Shakespeare.
Artemus Ward, His Book (1862)
- I now bid you a welcome adoo.
- The Shakers.
- ...their eyes sparkled like diminds, their cheeks was like roses, and they was charmin enuff to make a man throw stuns at his granmother, if they axed him to.
- The Shakers.
- My pollertics, like my religion, being of an exceedin' accommodatin' character.
- The Crisis.
- The fack can't be no longer disgised that a Krysis is onto us.
- The Crisis.
- N.B. This is rote sarcastikul.
- A Visit to Brigham Young.
- The female woman is one of the greatest institooshuns of which this land can boste.
- Woman's Rights.
