Back at the Barnyard

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Back at the Barnyard is a Nickelodeon show that is a spin-off of the 2006 film Barnyard. The show, which debuted in 2007, includes pop culture references and parodies.

Theme Song Lines[edit]

Farmer: I'm just heading to the fields, Duke. I'll be back. [drives off]
Sheep: Clear!
Otis: Alright!
Pip: Rat-a-bunga!
Otis: [while licking the strings of a guitar with his tongue] Ow, ow! OK, ow. [Pig yanks the strings free from his tongue] Ow!
Snotty Boy: Ha-ha! [shuts the door]

Season 1[edit]

The Good, The Bad, and the Snotty / Escape from the Barnyard [1.1][edit]

Freddy: He seems nice... or, wait, not nice. What's the word? It's on the tip of my tongue. Oh, yeah, dangerously insane!

Freddy: Yay, I love kabobs! [everyone looks at him] Sorry.
Pig: My work here is done

Duke: [whining and punching a post] No, I do not want to be eaten. I'm too young!
Pip: Dude, you're a dog. The farmer won't eat you.
Duke: What, you're saying I wouldn't go nice with some low-fat chips and a cherry cola?

Cowman & Ratboy / A Cow's Best Friend [1.2][edit]

Otis: Pip and I have this great idea. We totally want you guys to join us.
Bessy: Yeah, I'll do that right after never.

Otis: With great cow power, there must also come great cow responsibility!

Chez Pig / The Right Cow [1.3][edit]

Duke: [sticking paws into a hot pot] This is boiling water, isn't it?

Female Patron: And I'd like a side salad.
Bessy: Yeah, well, I'd like a cruise to Barbados, but that's not happening either.

Saving Mrs. Beady / The Farmer Takes a Woman [1.4][edit]

[all stuck in shed]
Pig: Gotta say, not too crazy 'bout the new digs.
Otis: I don't know. I kind of like it. It gives the chance to really know each other; like the various meats of a hoagie.

Hypno-A-Go-Go / Fowl Play [1.5][edit]

[Otis watches a boxing film, eyes on the watch as he swings it left to right, and then hypnotizes himself]
Otis: Oh, watch. It's just you and me. And I'm not letting you out of my sight. Why would I? I mean you're so round and pretty and shiny and... [hypnotized] ...wavy
Boxing coach: Now listen up kid. You got to do exactly what I say.
Otis: Do exactly what you say.
Boxing coach: You've got Farmer on the ropes. He's ready to fall. When you hear the bell, destroy Farmer.
Otis: When I hear the bell, destroy farmer. DESTROY FARMER!!! [falls to sleep]

Otis: [writing personal advertisement for the Farmer] Let's see now ... Gloomy farmer seeking anyone with pulse. Hmm ... We should hot it up a little.
Pip: Write he's rich. The ladies love cheddar.
Otis: [writing] Rich farmer.
Abby: And he gotta have muscles!
Otis: [writing] Rich, really bulky farmer.
Pig: Yes, but don't write farmer! Write [writing] exploding lion tamer.
Abby: Even more bulky! And write that he has a pony! [writing] Has a pony...
Otis: Okay, I will read it to you. Reflag 7-star number sign glare... Man, I wish we had fingers!
Pip: I can do it. [jumps on the keyboard] There, what do you think?
Otis: [reading] Wealthy, agricultural mogul with body of a Tetanic god wants to share his heart with you.
[everybody likes it]

The Big Barnyard Broadcast / Dead Cow Walking [1.9][edit]

Otis: Guess I'm first. Check it out guys, won't even break a sweat.
Pip: There goes one brave cow.
Dr. Glove: Oh, aren't you a big sweetie! Okay honey, I'm just going to do a little looky-loo, yeah, that's all. [snaps glove suggestively] Mm-hm.
Otis: Moo? [Otis wails in pain as animals watch on in horror]

Bessie: [sighs] I'm glad your not dead.
Duke: And we aren't leaving your side until you get better pal. [someone honks a car horn]
Pip: Dr. Glove is back! [the animals scatter]
Dr. Glove: Hey sweetie, how's my big sweetie, okay! I'm just going to do a little check poo! [snaps glove suggestively]
Otis: Moo? [begins screaming hysterically off camera]

A Tale of 2 Snottys / Snotty's New Pet [1.13][edit]

[Snotty's been eaten by his pet snake]
Dr. Glove: Okay, yeah, interesting. You're inside a snake, aren't you, yeah, you're deep in there. Okay, this might be very painful. [pulls on Snotty's legs]
Snotty Boy: [screams in agony]
Dr Glove: Ah-ah-ah. Just a few more hours.

Brave Udders / Otis's 11 [1.17][edit]

Pip: Dude, for the last time, what's bugging you?
Otis: Ugh, fine! I got a letter today from Krauser Krebs.
Pig: Krauser Krebs?! I've never heard of him.
Otis: You've never heard of him? Check out this flashback.
[a flashback shows Otis as a calf wearing a propeller hat]
Otis: [voiceover] Not a day would go by when I wasn't bullied by Krebs.
Young Otis: [singing] La-la-la-la-la!
Someday my head will fit my body
[suddenly, Krebs's shadow looms over him]
Krauser Krebs: [voiceover] Well, well, well! If it isn't Beef Boy?! Time to take a stroll down the meat isle! [punches Otis from offscreen] T-Bone! Rump roast! Filet! Sirloin! Ha! Now let's see what we got in the dairy section!
Young Otis: No, no, not the dairy section!
Krebs: 2%! 1%! Half and half! Haha! Why are you squirting yourself?! Stop squirting yourself! Clean up on isle 3! [laughs] See you tomorrow, Beef Boy! [walks off]
Young Otis: Clean up on isle 3. Clean up on isle 3.
[back in reality]
Otis: Clean up on isle 3. Clean up on isle 3. [sighs] Krebs found me and he's coming for me at 10 A.M. tomorrow!

[Pig looks at a watch]
Pig: It's almost 10. Krebs will be here any minute.
Otis: And I'm so ready!
[the others cheer]
Otis: Yeah, I got my bags all packed and my flight leaves in 2 hours.
Krebs: [voiceover] Yo, Beef Boy!
Otis: Ahh, too late! Hide me!
[as Otis hides behind Abby, Krebs comes closer, and his shadow becomes small revealing that he is really… a duck?]
Krebs: [quacks twice]
[the other animals are confused]
Abby: Hang on a minute. Where's Krebs?
Otis: What do you mean "where's Krebs"? He's standing right there.
Peck: Right where?
Otis: There!
Pig: You mean behind a duck?
Goat: Otis? No, I haven't seen him.
Otis: No, not behind a duck, Krebs is a duck!
[the others look at Otis then laugh]

[Peck and Freddy approach Krebs]
Freddy: We heard you're looking for Otis.
Krebs: Hey, you know Otis?
Peck: Oh, yeah. And if you want him, you've got to go through us.
Krebs: Hey, look, I don't want any…
Freddy: Stupid duck says what?
Krebs: What?
Peck: Stupid duck says what?
Krebs: What?!
[Peck and Freddy laugh]
Peck: You're in for it now, beak-face. You know why? I'll tell you why. Because we were the barnyard's champion taunters. 6 years running!
Krebs: Look, look, guys, I just want to talk to Otis. You see, I recently--
Freddy: We know you are, but what are we?
Peck: Nice!
[Peck and Freddy laugh again, then high-five each other]
Krebs: I'm warning you. Cut it out!
[the duo make goofy sounds, taunting Krebs]
[Krebs's head throbs and his eyes bulge up, turning bloodshot]
Krebs: [blabbering, roaring]
[Krebs spins into a fight cloud]
Peck: Hey, Fred, are you--?
Freddy: Run away!
[Peck and Freddy try to run away from the fight cloud, but Krebs yanks them in, beating them up]
Freddy: [poking out] Mommy!!!
Abby: [gasps]
[Peck and Freddy are thrown into the barn doors]
Pip: Holy beatdown!
Duke: He can't do that to our friends! Come on, fellas!
Otis: No, don't! He'll turn you into pieces while enumerating the parts of your body in an assaulting fashion!
[Pig, Pip and Duke charge toward Krebs, but are caught in the fight cloud]
Narrator: 230 minutes later…
[Krebs continues beating up Pig, Pip and Duke]

[in a clip called "Ask Dr. Pig"]
Pig: Hello, I'm Dr. Pig, and I'm here with the word about bullying. Bullying is a misdirected attempt at attention rooted in anger and frustration.
[suddenly, Krebs bursts through the wall]
Krebs: Roar! [starts beating up Pig]
Pig: Ow! Hey, I'm a doctor! There's only one thing! Help! [Krebs throws him, leaving a hole-shape of himself in the wall of the barn] Whoa! Oof!
Krebs: Here's Krebsy!

Otis: [as he watches Krebs beat up Abby] Oh, no, not Abby! Now he's gone too far!
Krebs: [after finishing Abby off] I'll ask one more time. Where's Otis?!
Otis: I'm right here, Krebs, and you're done pushing my friends around!
Krebs: Otis! Finally! Listen, I just want--
Otis: Have at you! [beats up Krebs] Duck sauce! Spicy wings! Crispy meat roll! Duck Gallarate! [belly flops on top of him]
Pip: Otis, you did it!
[the others cheer for him]
Otis: I did it! I faced my fear! [suddenly, Krebs lifts him up off of himself] It's like I feel a foot taller. [Krebs spins Otis and throws him against the barn]

[Krebs goes to do something to Otis]
Krebs: [lifting his fist for a moment, then holds his wing out to Otis] Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?
Otis: [looking confused] Huh? What do you mean? [as Krebs helps him up] Aren't you going to pound me and use my ego as a chew toy?
Krebs: No! Otis, I came here to apologize for being a jerk to you as a kid.

Doggelganger / Save the Clams [1.22][edit]

[Duke has been replaced with an imposter named Baxter at the vet]
Dr. Glove: OK, Baxter, it's doggy-doctor time! Who loves his doggy-doctor? You do, yes you do, yes you do!
Duke: [mumbled protestation]
Dr. Glove: Aw, don't be scared boy, this won't hurt at all. [reads "Duke's" chart] Oh, deep de-worming. I was wrong. [starts up a giant machine] This is gonna hurt! Yes it is, yes it is!
[Duke recoils in terror]

Dr. Glove: Aw, relax, Baxter, the worst is over, yes, it is, yes, it is! [takes off safety goggles and reads the chart again] Oops, I'm wrong. Says here I have to flush out your brain hole. [picks up a large syringe-like device] Who's got a dirty brain. Baxter does, yes, he does!
[Duke is mortified]

Duke: Hang in there, Duke. You've been poked, drilled, humiliated, but there's nothing they can do to break you. Nothing!
Dr. Glove: [returns with a bucket of leeches] OK, Baxter, time for your butt-leeching. Who's going to his butt leeched? Baxter is, yes, he is!
Duke: OK, that's it! [knocks leeches into Glove's face and runs away]
Dr. Glove: Oh, the leeches are on my face. [stumbles into wall] Who's draining my face blood? [hits head on examination lamp] You are, yes you are! [collapses from blood loss/head trauma]

Barnyard Idol[edit]

Peck: Why, it sounds like a heavenly angel.
Freddy: Or a bewitching sorceress luring us to our doom.
Otis: Hey, maybe the angel and the sorceress had a kid... a...
Freddy: You mean a sorcer-angel?
Otis: No, more like an angel-ress.

Season 2[edit]

A Man's Best Fiend[edit]

[after Otis had a plan to let the farmer get a new friend for Duke]
Farmer: Meet your new pal, Duke. You boys have fun.
Duke: Hey, how you doing, fella? I'm Duke. Come on out, and say "hi".
[admits the darkness in the cage, a figure peeks out]
[Duke pants patiently as the figure steps out of the cage revealing his archenemy, Baxter]
Baxter: Well, Duncan, we meet again.
Duke: Huh? [girly scream]
Otis: [rapidly] Oh, no! Guys, it's Baxter! You remember Baxter! Baxter was that awful mutt who switched places with Duke at the vet, then tried to steal his life here at the barnyard!
Abby: Otis, we know. It was just a couple weeks ago.

[the farmer stares disappointed at Duke after Baxter blamed him]
Farmer: You're not the dog I thought you were, Duke. From now on, you stay in the barn. [shuts the door in Duke's face]
Otis: Duke, what happened?
Duke: That little mutt, Baxter, framed me so he can have the house to himself.
Abby: What?!
Pig: He did what to who?
Freddy: No way!
Baxter: Actually, it's true. I played you like a cheap squeak toy, and there's nothing you can do about it.
Otis: Nothing? Really? Oh, I don't know. I'm sure if we put our heads together, but get him!!
Baxter: Oh!
Abby: Yeah! Get him!
Pip: There he is! Get him! Come on, the farmer's out!
Freddy: Don't let him get away!
Baxter: [as Otis and the others chase him] Oh, yes! Chase me! I love chase! This is much fun than I love ball! Oh, wait. That's right, I hate ball.
[Baxter runs to the farmer and jumps into his arms]
[Otis and the others stop, then put their hands on the ground]
Farmer: Bad animals! Chasing a poor innocent puppy, shame on you!

Duke: [after calling Baxter on the phone] I'll show Baxter! I don't need the farmer, I got all the friends I need right here. So, uh, who wants to deworm me?
[Otis and the others are confused]
Otis: Barn meeting! Guys, we can't let Baxter get away with this. We need to get him out of that house, and Duke back in, for all our sakes.
Duke: But, Otis, Baxter set me up good, and the farmer will never take me back.
Otis: I think he would, if you save him from a man-eating bear!
Freddy: Ooh, I like where this is going!
Duke: Well, I don't.
Otis: Relax, it won't be a real bear, it'll be me in a bear costume. Now, the farmer takes Baxter out every afternoon for his walk…
Freddy: Oh, I love that plan!
Otis: I haven't said it yet.
Freddy: Now I'm confused.
[in the morning, the farmer takes Baxter out for a walk]
Farmer: OK, Baxter, lead the way.
Baxter: [barking]
Farmer: [chuckles] What a cute little dickens.
[a real bear jumps out from behind a tree!]
Baxter: [screams]
Farmer: A bear! Get him, boy, get him! [Baxter pushes him toward the bear] Huh? What? Don't! Stop! What are you doing? Bad dog! No!
[Duke is looking through binoculars]
Duke: Look at Otis, what a ham. Well, I guess it's show time. [charges toward the bear, thinking it's Otis in a bear costume]
[the bear looks around as Duke kicks his leg, double kicks his back, bites his rear end, and Kung Fu kicks his face]
[being knocked out, the bear stops near the farmer's feet]
Farmer: [after Duke saved him from the bear] Duke, you saved my life! I never should've kicked you out, boy. Can you forgive me? [pets Duke's head]
Baxter: [barking, whining]
Farmer: And as for you! Throwing me into a bear. Bad dog! You're going back to the shelter to find a new home.
Baxter: This isn't over, Denwood, I'll be back. You'll see! And then, we'll-- Whoa! [gets yanked away]
Duke: They're gone, Otis. You can get up now. Otis?
Otis: [approaching in a bear costume] Roar! Roar! Roar! Roar! Roar! Oh, hey, Duke. [taking off the mask] Where's the farmer?
Duke: He just took Baxter back to-- [looking confused] Hold up. If you're there, then who's that?
Bear: Round 2, sheepdog!
Duke: Wait, uh, I can explain. You see, that other dog stole my identity in the previous episode, and recently returned to try it again.

Professor Exposition[edit]

Otis: [voiceover; singing] Professor Exposition, explainer of things!
He's clarifying power points to explain away confusion!

Puppy Love[edit]

[Duke's sister, Stamps, arrives at the barnyard]
Stamps: [Spanish accent] Hey, Dukey!
Duke: Stamps!
Stamps: How you doing?!
Duke: Come here, sis! [hugs her]

Duke: Stamps, these are my friends, Otis, Abby, Pig, Pip,
Pip: What's up?
Duke: Peck,
Peck: Hi there!
Duke: and Freddy.
Freddy: [muffles "hello" with an arrowed plunger on his face]
Stamps: It's nice to meet you. I can't stay long, Dukey. We just want to stop by and get your blessing, then it's off to Vegas for the wedding.
Otis: Vegas? That's practically in Asia. Why don't you guys just get married here at the barnyard?
Stamps: Oh, we wouldn't want to be a bother.
Abby: Oh, it's no bother. The farmer's away for the whole week at Fire Dance Camp.
[at Fire Dance Camp, the farmer, wearing a grass skirt, fire dances]
Stamps: In that case, we loved to get married here!
[Otis and the others are excited]
Duke: So, Stamps, where's my future bro-in-law anyway?
Stamps: Right behind me with the bags. Here he comes now.
[a figure, with its legs seen, carries three bags]
Duke: Look at him, carrying your bags all gentlemanly. I like this guy already.
Male voice: Thanks, Darren.
[the figure drops the bags revealing that it's really Baxter!]
Baxter: I like you, too.
[as Otis and the others gasp in shock, Freddy pulls the arrowed plunger off of his face]
Duke: Baxter?!
Baxter: That's right. Your sister and I are getting hitched.
Duke: Whoa, whoa! [pushes his nemesis aside] Stamps, you can't marry this guy! He's a total conman!
Otis: Yeah, he stole Duke's identity and try to get him kicked out of the barnyard!
Abby: And then he tricked the farmer into adopting him and got Duke kicked out of the house!
Pig: And once he cut off a guy's hand and expelled him from the Jedi Council!
Pip: Dude, that was a movie.
Pig: I like movies.
[a flashback shows Pig, disguise as a boy, watching a horror movie in a movie theater]
Pig: Don't go in there, the monster's in there! Don't do it, old friend! You believe this? It's like she's not even listening. [answers the phone] Hey, I'm at the movies. Alice just went into the room where Dracula is waiting. Well, of course, I've warned her!
[back in reality]
Duke: I'm telling you. This guy is trouble.
Stamps: Dukey, it's OK. Baxter has told me all about his past, but he's different now.
Baxter: That's right, Dakron, your sister's love has made me a new dog.
Stamps: Will you please give us your blessing, Dukey? [looks at her brother with puppy dog eyes] Please??
Duke: Oh, geez, with the puppy dog eyes? Alright, but I'll be watching you, buddy.
Stamps: Thanks, Dukey! Ain't that wonderful, honey?
Baxter: It sure is, Cuddle-wuggles. Give me some sugar.
[as Stamps and Baxter rub their noses together, Duke growls angrily while gritting his teeth]

Stamps: [after Duke tricked Baxter] I heard the whole thing, Baxter! You lying, no-good, flimflamming...!
Baxter: But, Stimpy, I can explain!
Duke: [putting Baxter in a cage on the catapult from "The Good, The Bad, and the Snotty"] You're busted, Baxter. Have fun on your honeymoon.
Baxter: Wait, Derek! You can't do this! I'm your husband!
[Duke launches Baxter away]
Baxter: [last words] I love you!


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