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Back at the Barnyard

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Back at the Barnyard, otherwise known as simply Barnyard, is a Nickelodeon show that is a spin-off of the 2006 film Barnyard. The show, which debuted in 2007, includes pop culture references and parodies.

Barnyard

Theme Song

[edit]
Farmer: I'm just heading to the fields, Duke. I'll be back. [drives off]
Sheep: Clear!
Otis: Alright!
Pip: Rat-a-bunga!
From the haystacks
Up to the hilltops
We go on dancin'
Tuesday boogie-oogie through the night
Otis: [while licking the strings of a guitar with his tongue] Ow, ow! Okay, ow. [Pig yanks the strings free from his tongue] Ow!
Do-si-do your partner now
Gonna party down 'til morning light
Do-si-do, and don't cha know
It's just the way we animals roll
Snotty Boy: Ha-ha! [shuts the door]

Season 1

[edit]

The Good, The Bad, and the Snotty / Escape from the Barnyard [1.1]

[edit]
Pig: And when the farmer comes back, delicious turnip birthday cake. [laughs]
Duke: Pig, there is no Turnip Con.
Pig: Ah, gotcha. But the Slop Fairy is real, right?
[Everyone gives Pig a look of disapproval. Pig is devastated.]
Pig: Noooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!
Freddy: He seems nice...or, wait, not nice. What's the word? It's on the tip of my tongue. Oh, yes, dangerously insane!
[The animals investigate the new machine the farmer got]
Pip: The Quick Fryer Mark IV. Hmm.
Abby: That's a weird name for a stereo.
Otis: Now, now, now, watch and learn, okay? The CDs go in here. [opens the lid] Then you crank up the volume right here. [turns a knob, causing flames to erupt from the machine]
Pip: And then, you run away and scream.
[They do just that]
Otis: AAAAH!!! WHAT'S HAPPENING?! WHAT'S HAPPENING?! WHAT'S HAPPENING?!
Otis: Okay, so, not a sound system.
Freddy: [sniffs] Mmm! Something smells scrumptious! [realizing] I mean, disturbing! I knew that thing was evil! E-e-e-evil!
Otis: Stop that.
Abby: Otis, whether we wanna admit it or not, the farmer has purchased-- a barbecue grill.
[The animals murmur with concern]
Pig: Barbecue grill?
Freddy: Yay, I love kebabs! [Bessy looks at him] Sorry.
Pig: I love kebabs too, but not if I know the kebab-ee.
Otis: The farmer is a total vegan, guys.
Bessy: Vegan, my rump! You know what I heard? I heard he ate an entire village down in Mexico.
Otis: 'Kay, pretty sure that's not true. The farmer absolutely has no interest in meat whatsoever.
Pip: Here comes the carnivore!
Freddy: This is horrible! My dearest friends are gonna be barbecued! [sobs] Mmm, mmmmmmmm. I mean... [sobs]
Duke: I'm too young to be eaten. Too young!
Pip: Dude, you're a dog. The farmer won't eat you.
Duke: What, you're saying I wouldn't go nice with some low-fat chips and a nice cherry cola?
Otis: Alright, enough with the chips and the cola! This is crazy talk, people, come on! Even if the Farmer came in and dipped us in seasonings, I still wouldn't believe it.
Pip: Captain Cold Cuts, two o'clock!
[After the farmer leaves with Joey, a calf, in a bucket, after pouring olive oil and garlic salt on him.]
Freddy: He's marinating Joey in olive oil! I would've used teriyaki and a chicken or a Cornish game hen, but that's if I craved flesh! Which I don't!
Otis: [glares at his cream cheese statue] How can I look you in the raisin eyes again? [smacks the statue across the barn]
Pig: [runs past Otis] Ooh! I got dibs!
Otis: Everyone, the farmer has betrayed us. So pack your things. We're leaving the barnyard, forever!
Pig: Hey, who's got bagels?
Pip: We're ready to go, Otis!
Otis: Has the escape pod been built to my exact specifications?
Pip: Yeah, listen, we couldn't get an escape pod, so we had to go a little more low-tech.
[The animals have built a hot-air balloon]
Otis: Okay. So, no warp drive?
Pip: Uh, no.
Otis: Thrusters?
Pip: Uh-uh.
Otis: Air brakes?
Pip: No.
Otis: Doors?
Pip: Negative.
Otis: Is there a floor?
Pip: Uh, define floor.
Otis: Alright, well, uh, we got hot air. That's a thing, right? Where do we get that?
Pip: You don't wanna know.
[The source of the hot air comes from the outhouse, where Pig comes out]
Pig: My work here is done.
Otis: Alright, people, listen up. A daring aerial escape is our only hope. Now, it's gonna be a tight squeeze, so carefully-
Freddy: Farmer!

Cowman & Ratboy / A Cow's Best Friend [1.2]

[edit]
Otis: Pip and I have this great idea. We totally want you guys to join us.
Bessy: Yeah, I'll do that right after never.
Otis: With great cow power, there must also come great cow responsibility.

Chez Pig / The Right Cow [1.3]

[edit]
Female Patron: And I'd like a side salad.
Bessy: Yeah, well, I'd like a cruise to Barbados, but that's not happening either.
Duke: [sticking paws into a hot pot] This is boiling water, isn't it?
Otis: Excuse me, distinguished guests, may I have everyone's attention? It is that special time at the Truffle Bucket when we all play our favorite game.
All: [singing to Pop Goes the Weasel] All around the Truffle Cafe, the people don't suspect it, but due to their delighted surprise, pop! [Otis pushes a button, catapulting all the humans out of the barn] They’re ejected!
Max Fripplehoot: Hey! What in the name of canned ham are you all staring into space for?
Otis: [turns down the signing of the contract to Granny Pig's truffle pie recipe] Sorry, Fripplehoot, the pie's not for sale.

[The animals gasp]

Max Fripplehoot: What the--
Otis: We have something that's worth more than a million bajillion dollars.
Max Fripplehoot: A zillion krajillion dollars?
Otis: No, our Sunday pie brunches. And we wouldn't give them up for anything.
Max Fripplehoot: [Flabbergasted] Why, I-- this is outrageous!

You'll hear from my lawyers and by the way, those are the ugliest animal costumes I've ever-- seeeeeeeeeeeeennnn--!

[Otis presses the eject button and ejects Max Fripplehoot out of the barnyard]

[Otis, Pip and Pig meet a chimpanzee named Bingo, who came from a rocket]
Bingo: Oh, yeah. It's a rich full life. The name's Bingo, test chimp #657. Lemme get this straight. Uhh, there's no one around here but us animals?
Otis: Yep. The farmer is at his sister's house in Pacoima. So just us.
Bingo: Sweet!
[Moments later, Bingo finishes fixing the rocket]
Bingo: What do you think, Otis? She's all repaired and ready to go.
Pip: Whoa, no way! Otis can't fly this thing; he can barely drive a stick.
Otis: Pip, relax. It's just a simulated flight. I mean, you know, Bingo wouldn't put his top test cow in any kind of danger.
Bingo: Simulated. Yeah, you took these words right out of my mouth. [takes a control device from his spacesuit] Oh, oh, oh, and by the way, one little thing. It's not! [presses a button, trapping Otis and Pip inside the rocket]
Otis: What? Hey, what's going on? We're trapped!
Bingo: That's right, cud boy, I'm sending you into orbit. Of course, there's no biggie for someone with your vast space experience.
Pip: Ground Control to Major Monkey. He lied!
Otis: We were nice to you. We said you could stay with us and some of us licked you. Why are you doing this?
Bingo: Because I spent my whole life taking orders from humans. And I'm not about to start taking them from a cow. Any moo. Ten, nine, other numbers, blast off! [presses another button on the control device and the rocket lifts off, causing Otis and Pip to scream] [hooting] That's the last time we're ever going to hear from Otis the Daring Space Cow.
[Abby and the others run over to him]
Abby: Bingo, what's going on?
Pig: What happened to Otis and Pip?
Bingo: I sent your leader and his little-rat friend on a one-way trip. You're all taking orders from me now.
[In space, the rocket orbits above Earth]
Otis: I can't believe I let that backstabbing monkey do this to us! [looks through the window] But still, it looks amazing up here.
Bingo: [after Otis and Pip landed the rocket] Good job, Otis, you passed the evaluation! [laughs] You know I was just testing you, wasn't I?
Otis: Really. You know, I got a little test for you.
[Later]
Bingo: [meeting his defeat] This isn't over, cow! I'll be back! You ought to wish you never had! [Pip presses the button on the control device, and the rocket launches up] Ugh! It smells like wet cow in here.

Saving Mrs. Beady / The Farmer Takes a Woman [1.4]

[edit]
Otis: Alright, Abby, you ready for your first driving lesson?
Abby: I sure am.
Otis: Good. Now, the most important thing you wanna remember-
Abby: What's this button do? [presses the button]
Otis: Well, those are the windshield wipers.
Abby: Ooh! What's this? [honks the horn]
Otis: [irritated] Shhh, Mrs. Beady will hear you!
Pig: Can you crank the A/C? My thighs are stickin' to the seat.
Abby: Hey, what if I punch this real hard?
Otis: Don't-!
[Abby punches the dashboard, causing the airbag to inflate]
Freddy: AAAH! The car's inflating its giant stink sack!
Peck: Hang on, I got it. [deflates the bag]
Freddy: Okay, Otis, she's hotwired and ready to go.
Otis: Nice job, buddy. Alright, Abby. Now put 'er in reverse, and give 'er some gas.
Abby: You got it! I'll try not to hit Mrs. Beady.
Otis: See, that's great. You're already thinking defensively. That's the first sign of a good..
All: MRS. BEADY?!!
[The animals have crashed Mrs. Beady's car and have run away just as the police show up.]
Mrs. Beady: Officer, thank goodness you're here!
Officer Fred: Alright, hands in the air, speed racer!
Mrs. Beady: But... this wasn't my fault. It was the talking barn animals.
Officer Fred: Just calm down, sir! [speaking into his P.A.] Yeah, Gertie, I got another guest for the hoo-hoo house. Yeah, huh-huh. Real bag of pistachios. [walks up to Mrs. Beady] Okay, lady. Let's you and me take a little trip.
Mrs. Beady: I'm telling you, there were barn animals in my back seat!
Officer Fred: [guides Mrs. Beady to his car] Yeah, yeah, tell everything to the nice ice cream men.
Mrs. Beady: What?! I don't like ice cream! Take your strong, firm hands off me! I want a lawyer!
Barn Animals: [singing] Good riddance, Mrs. Beady! Good riddance, Mrs. Beady! Good riddance, Mrs. Beady-y-y-y-y-y...!
Otis: [singing] You nosy meddlesome crank!
[The animals cheer.]
Otis: This is one sweet deal. We get some much needed "us" time, and Mrs. Beady gets to make macaroni bracelet at Camp Drools-A-Lot.
[The animals laugh.]
Freddy: [worried] Oh, sure. If as she doesn't mind the straitjackets, the padded cells, the burly nurses force-feeding you applesauce...
Otis: What? Freddy, what are you talking about?
Freddy: And don't get me started on the shock therapy! Zzz-ding! Zzz-ding! Soup's on!
Otis: Ah, stop! What do you mean? Shock therapy? Why would anyone do that to her?
Pip: Otis, she said talking animals crashed her car. That sounds crazy to me, and I'm a talking animal.
Freddy: Zzz-ding!
Otis: This is awful, and it's all our fault. Mrs. Beady may be annoying, but she's still our friend. Neighbor, well, lady, alright, organism. It doesn't matter! We are breaking her out of Camp Hoo-Hoo! [the other animals look disappointed] Alright, after we eat the cake.
[The animals cheer.]
Farmer: [missing his late wife] I'm not gonna cry... Yes, I am... [bawls hysterically]
Otis: [writing personal advertisement for the Farmer] Let's see now...Gloomy farmer seeking anyone with pulse. Hmm...We should hot it up a little.
Pip: Write he's rich. The ladies love cheddar.
Otis: [writing] Rich farmer.
Abby: And he got to have muscles!
Otis: [writing] Rich, really bulky farmer.
Pig: Yes, but don't write farmer! Write [writing] exploding lion tamer.
Abby: Even more bulky! And write that he has a pony! [writing] Has a pony...
Otis: Okay, I will read it to you. Reflag 7-star number sign glare...Man, I wish we had fingers!
Pip: I can do it. [jumps on the keyboard] There, what do you think?
Otis: [reading] Wealthy, agricultural mogul with body of a Teutonic god wants to share his heart with you.
[Everybody likes it]
[All stuck in the chicken coop]
Pig: Gotta say, not too crazy about the new digs.
Otis: I don't know. I kind of like it. It gives the chance to really know each other; like the various meats of a hoagie.

Hypno-A-Go-Go / Fowl Play [1.5]

[edit]
[Otis watches a boxing film, eyes on the watch as he swings it left to right, and then hypnotizes himself]
Otis: Oh, watch. It's just you and me. And I'm not letting you out of my sight. Why would I? I mean you're so round and pretty and shiny and... [hypnotized] ...wavy
Boxing coach: Now listen up kid. You got to do exactly what I say.
Otis: Do exactly what you say.
Boxing coach: You've got Farmer on the ropes. He's ready to fall. When you hear the bell, destroy Farmer.
Otis: When I hear the bell, destroy farmer. DESTROY FARMER! [falls to sleep]
Pip: Hey, he's cured!
Pig: Uh, never say "cure" to a pig.
Otis: Farmer! I can't believe you're not butter! I promise I'll never fool with hypnotism again.
Farmer: [freaked out] TALKING COW!
Otis: Maybe this one last time. [swings the watch in front of the farmer]
Farmer: [hypnotized] Pretty watch...

Barnyard Games / War of the Pranks [1.6]

[edit]
Duke: Abby, tell us how you come by your amazing athletic talent.
Abby: Well, gosh, Duke. I grew up with 18 older brothers who used to clobber me all the time, then one day, I just kinda decided... THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN! Is this on TV? Because I'm a little camera shy.
Otis: That's right! Run from the aliens! [laughs] Run before they suck out your brains and make smoothies with them!
Pig: Brain smoothies, huh? Do they use sherbert or frozen yogurt?
Otis: So, Bessy, I bet you're totally freaked out by these crop circles, huh?
Bessy: Well, judging by the bits of cornstalk still stuck to your hooves, I say you made those crop circles.
Otis: What? That's ridiculous!
Bessy: And from the bruises on Pig, I say you probably rolled Pig around like a steamroller to do it. Am I right?
Pig: I got these bruises at a carnival.
Bessy: And I bet he puked on Pip.
Pig: Did I? [Pip shudders, looking at Pig's filthy mouth, then runs away screaming] Wait! Come back! Did I?
Freddy: I was born to pull ropes on cue.
Peck: I was born with this freckle.
Otis: When Bessie steps right on that spot, a rope will tighten around her ankle, then, she'll get spun around, squirted with lemon juice, and then, that basket of apples will fall all over her. [hysterical] Then, she'll get zipped out that window, AND SMASH INTO THE TREE, BEHIND THE OUTHOUSE! It's hilarious, even just talking about it. [laughs]
Pip: You've stopped sleeping, haven't you?
Otis: Yeah, it's been about three days.
[Bessy is seemingly about to have her brain harvested.]
Otis: Wait, wait, wait, don't do it! Please, she's our friend.
Pip: She's the love of my life. We're going to have beautiful cow-mouse babies together.
Bessy: Hmm? [shakes her head] Mm-mm!
Otis: And she's a good person. I mean, sure, she yells a lot, and she insults me, like, 24/7, and snores like a sailor, and...
Pip: Ahem!
Otis: But we still like her is the point. I don't want to be on the farm without her.
"Alien": You've convinced me! Your brain, it is!

Lights! Camera! Moo! / Animal Farmers [1.7]

[edit]
Otis: Watch how a softer diffusion of light can completely change the--[the film fizzles out and the projector crashes to the floor] Oh, that's the opposite of good.
Duke: Otis, what did you do?! You ruined the safety film!
[The animals cheer.]
Freddy: [panics] NO SAFETY FILM?! NO SAFETY FILM?! WE'LL NEVER BE SAFE AGAIN!!!
[Freddy steps on a rake that smacks him in the face. He pulls on a rope, dropping a heavy hay bale on him. He stumbles out of the barn, then gets trampled by a herd of elephants.]
Freddy: [pained] Medic.
Duke: Okay, here's the deal. I have one parachute, but I figure, if we all--[Freddy snatches the parachute from him]
Freddy: So long, suckers! [leaps out the barn, but is spun around the tornado screaming; then he is thrown back into the barn, smashing through a beam] A little help, suckers?
Otis: Turn off the fan!
Pip: [unable to hear Otis over the fan's noise] What?!
Otis: Turn off the big fan!
Pip: Of course, I'm your biggest fan! These creative types are so insecure.
Otis: [watching a safety film, showing him getting hurt] Bravo! Bravo!
Bessy: Ah, zip it and eat your popcorn. [iris out to black]
Otis: Jealous. [Bessy is heard hitting him] Ow!
[Freddy imagines himself working at a cafe.]
Freddy: [pressing buttons on the coffee machine] Okay, so that's a half-caf, extra hot...
Customer: Quarter-caf, semi-hot.
Freddy: [nervous] Ex-quarter-hot, extra-half...
Customer: Quarter-caf, semi-hot, extra foam.
Freddy: Extra foam, extra half...
Customer: [irritated] Extra foam!
Freddy: [hysterical] EXTRA FOAM, SEMI-HOT, CAF QUARTER!!! [screams as the machine sprays foam on him]
Farmer: Tractor go boom.
[The Farmer is sent to the hospital from the tractor accident.]
Otis: This is terrible! What have I done?!
Bessy: Well, let's review. You interrupted Peck's yoga class, did a lame Stumpity Joe impression, and... oh, right. YOU BROKE THE FARMER!!!
[The animals have decided to do chores for the farmer.]
Pip: We're in a lot of trouble, aren't we?
Otis: Yeah, a lot of trouble.
[At the milking machine...]
Abby: You go first.
Bessy: No way, you go first.
Otis: So, how are we doing on the milk, gals? [sees empty buckets] What? What's going on? We should be snorkeling in milk by now.
Bessy: Look, no one but the farmer is clamping any electric doohickeys to my milk-giving areas.
Otis: Bessy, my bashful bovine, it couldn't be safer. Here, let me demonstrate. [fits the hose on his udders] Put these on...
Pip: Otis, that's not how it looks in the instructions.
Otis: Relax, I've seen the farmer do this, like, a hundred times. Okay, turn it on, turn it on.
Pip: Okay, you're the boss. [turns the dial, turning the machine on]
Otis: Mm-hm. Oh, it's quite, pleasant, actually. It's like a gentle tug. [chuckles, then starts to feel uncomfortable] Okay, slightly less gentle now. [yells in pain] AAH, OH! MY UDDERS... ARE... ON... FIRE!!!
Pip: [mishearing Otis saying "fire"] Higher? You got it! [turns the dial up higher]
[Otis screams hysterically in pain and tries to pull the hose off of his udders.]
Otis: [shrilly] TURN IT OFF!!!
[Otis yanks the hose off of his udders and he falls to the floor. Pip turns down the dial, turning off the machine.]
Otis: [moans in pain]
Bessy: [laughs] That is one funny milking machine!
Otis: [high voice] Guys, I'm gonna need some private time. [crawls across the floor]
[Pig has eaten all the corn.]
Pig: [weakly] Otis... Strange dream... Music... Corn everywhere. [his stomach gurgles and he groans] I don't feel well...
Otis: [sighs in disappointment]
Freddy: It probably isn't digested yet! We can still use it! [jumps on Pig's stomach] GIVE US BACK THAT CORN, YOU PINK CORN-GOBBLING BLIMP!
[The chickens have laid many eggs from being fed an energy drink made by the animals.]
Otis: Now that is what I call a grade A... [the egg blows up in his face] Uhhhh, what exactly did you put in the energy drink?
Bessy: Yogurt.
Peck: Vitamins.
Abby: Love.
Otis: And?
Freddy: [holding red sticks] And pepper!
Otis: [grabs the red sticks from Freddy] Those aren't pepper shakers. That's dynamite!

Raging Cow / The Great Sheep Escape [1.8]

[edit]

The Big Barnyard Broadcast / Dead Cow Walking [1.9]

[edit]
Otis: Guess I'm first. Check it out guys, won't even break a sweat.
Pip: There goes one brave cow.
Dr. Glove: Oh, aren't you a big sweetie Okay honey, I'm just going to do a little looky-loo, yeah, that's all. [snaps glove suggestively] Mm-hm.
Otis: Moo? [wails in pain as animals watch on in horror]
Otis: I... I've only got a week to live?
Abby: Oh, my goodness, Otis. I am so sorry.
Otis: But... That's impossible. I feel fine. Although, you know, I've been getting a little tired around bedtime lately, and I seem to lose my appetite after heavy meals, and dry grass has really lost its flavor-- OH, MILK ME, IT'S TRUE! I'M DYING! [runs away sobbing]
Bessie: [sighs] I'm glad you're not dead.
Duke: And we aren't leaving your side until you get better pal.
[Someone honks a car horn]
Pip: Dr. Glove is back!
[The animals scatter]
Dr. Glove: Hey, sweetie, how's my big sweetie, okay? I'm just going to do a little check poo. [snaps glove suggestively]
Otis: Moo? [begins screaming hysterically off camera]

Otis Season / Cow's Night Out [1.10]

[edit]
Otis: [riding on a motorcycle shocked about himself and Pip being mistaken for real moose by bikers] What the cud? Didn't they see we're moose? We're moose!
Pip: [trying to get Otis' attention] Uh-- Uh, Otis. I think Moose Appreciation Week might be over.
Otis: What are you talking about?
Pip: [points out a billboard] Check out that sign.
Otis: Moose Hunting Season starts today? AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
Snotty Boy: [walking with his friends and is disappointed at them for losing Otis and Pip after chasing them] I can't believe you guys lost them. You're both, like, lamer, lamer, loser face.
Boy 1: We were just following you.
Snotty Boy: [mocks one of his friends] Ooh, we were just following you. That's so lame, it's incredibly lame. Lucky for you, I have stuper-awesome moose-tracking powers.
Snotty Boy: Ooh, got a little problem. I have you now, stupid moose. Your majestic antlers will look so sweet and toasty on my clubhouse wall. [a giant wooden moose appears behind Snotty Boy when he isn't looking]
Bessy: [who is revealed to be inside the wooden moose] I don't think so! [Snotty Boy looks behind as the wooden moose stops him from terrorizing Otis and Pip] Step away from my moose friends before I smack you upside the head! [Abby giggles]
Snotty Boy: A giant devil moose? Don't eat me!
Bessy: Don't worry. I wouldn't dream of eating you-- raw!
[The wooden moose breathes fire through its nostrils and scares away Snotty Boy and the barn animals cheer.]
Mayor: And so, in honor of this noble moose, who risked his life for a child, I hereby abolish Moose Hunting Season and make it Moose Appreciation Week all year long!

Big Top Barnyard / Pigmalion [1.11]

[edit]

A Barn Day's Night / Meet the Ferrets [1.12]

[edit]

A Tale of 2 Snottys / Snotty's New Pet [1.13]

[edit]
Otis: [gets a notification on his phone] Oh, hey, it's a text message, from Pip. [reads the text message] B-H-P, &, S-B-B, sad face. [Confused] Huh?
Abby: I speak text. He says he's being held prisoner in Snotty Boy's bedroom.
Otis: Snotty Boy. I should've guessed.

[Otis gets another notification on his phone]

Otis: Oh, hang on. There's more. G-T-P-T-A?
Abby: He says Give the phone to Abby!
Otis: [Confused] Huh?

[Abby sees another text message from Pip and gasps from the result]

Abby: Otis, that kid's trying to feed him to a snake! We got to do something!
Otis: We will, Abby. Barnyard Strike Force, deploy!

[Otis gets a notification on his phone and miniature toast pops out]

Otis: Ooh, tiny toast is done. Who wants tiny toast?
[Snotty's been eaten by his pet snake]
Dr. Glove: Okay, yeah, interesting. You're inside a snake, aren't you, yeah, you're deep in there. Okay, this might be very painful. [pulls on Snotty's legs, which causes the Snotty Boy scream in agony] Ah-ah-ah. Just a few more hours.

Home Sweet Hole / Otis' Mom [1.14]

[edit]
[Pip has kept Otis up all night.]
Pip: You wanna prank the paperboy?
Otis: [snaps at Pip] NO, I DON'T WANNA PRANK ANY PAPERBOY! I would really enjoy pranking my eyeballs back into being closed, and pranking my mouth into snoring, IN ONE LONG, EIGHT-HOUR, UNINTERRUPTED PRANK!
Pip: Are you on medication?
[Pig is horrified to see that Pip has cleaned his stall]
Pip: Surprise! It took me three hours to clean it.
Pig: [crying] No!
Pip: No, don't cry, I wanted to do it!
Pig: [angry] GET OUT!
Pip: [confused] Huh?
Pig: Do you know how long it took me to get my stall that filthy, huh? Years and years of grime and squalor down the drain!
Pip: B-But I just thought that-
[Pig wails, then becomes horrified when he sees something]
Pig: [hysterical] OH, NO! MY CRUSTY BLANKIE! IT'S ALL SOFT AND CLEAN! Get out! G-G-GET OUT!

Club Otis / The Chronicles of Barnia [1.15]

[edit]

Barnyard Idol / The Haunting [1.16]

[edit]
Peck: Why, it sounds like a heavenly angel.
Freddy: Or a bewitching sorceress luring us to our doom!
Otis: Hey, maybe the angel and the sorceress had a kid.
Freddy: You mean a sorcer-angel?
Otis: No, more like an angel-ress. What the?

Brave Udders / Otis's 11 [1.17]

[edit]
Badger: Mail call! [tosses some letters to Otis]
Otis: Thanks, Badger. [looks through the mail] Man, I feel great! I mean, nothing, but nothing, could ruin a wonderful day like this. [spots one letter then screams as a thunderstorm appears behind him] Krouser Krebs? It can't be! [takes out a note and reads it] "Hey, Beef Boy."
Krouser Krebs: [voiceover] "Long time, no see. Get ready. I'll be coming for you at 10 A.M. tomorrow." [echoes]
Pip: Dude, for the last time, what's bugging you?
Otis: Ugh, fine! I got a letter today from Krouser Krebs.
Pig: Krouser Krebs? I've never heard of him.
Otis: You've never heard of him? Check out this flashback. [a flashback shows Otis as a calf wearing a propeller hat] Not a day would go by when I wasn't bullied by Krebs.
Young Otis: [singing] La-la-la-la-la, someday my head will fit my body
[Suddenly, Krebs's shadow looms over him]
Krebs: [voiceover] Well, well, well. If it isn't Beef Boy. Time to take a stroll down the meat aisle. [punches Otis from offscreen] T-bone, rump roast, filet, sirloin... [laughs] Now let's see what we got in the dairy section.
Young Otis: No, no, not the dairy section.
Krebs: 2%, 1%, half and half... [laughs] Why are you squirting yourself? Stop squirting yourself. Clean up on aisle 3. [laughs] See you tomorrow, Beef Boy. [walks off]
Young Otis: Clean up on aisle 3.
[Back in reality]
Otis: Clean up on aisle 3. Clean up on aisle 3. [sighs] Krebs found me and he's coming for me at 10 A.M. tomorrow.
Pig: [looks at the watch] It's almost 10. Krebs will be here any minute.
Otis: And I'm so ready! [the others cheer] Yeah, I got my bags all packed and my flight leaves in two hours.
Krebs: [voiceover] Yo, Beef Boy.
Otis: Ahh, too late! Hide me!
[As Otis hides behind Abby, Krebs approaches closer and his shadow becomes small revealing that he is actually a duck. Krebs quacks. The other animals are confused]
Abby: Hang on a minute. Where's Krebs?
Otis: What do you mean "where's Krebs"? He's standing right there.
Peck: Right where?
Otis: There!
Pig: You mean, uh, behind the duck?
Goat: Otis? No, I haven't seen him.
Otis: No, not behind the duck, Krebs is the duck!
[The others look at Otis, gaze at Krebs for a moment, then laugh]
[Peck and Freddy approach Krebs]
Freddy: We heard you're looking for Otis.
Krebs: Hey, you know Otis?
Peck: Otis is there, if you want him, you'd better go through us.
Krebs: Hey, look, i don't want any...
Freddy: Stupid duck says what?
Krebs: What?
Peck: Stupid duck says what?
Krebs: What?
[Peck and Freddy laugh]
Peck: You're in for it now, beak-face. You know why? I'll tell you why. Because we were the barnyard's champion taunters six years running.
Krebs: Look, look, guys, i just want to talk to Otis, you see, I recently-
Freddy: We know you are, but what are we?
Peck: Nice.
[Peck and Freddy laugh again, then high-five each other]
Krebs: I'm warning you, cut it out.
[The duo make goofy sounds, taunting Krebs. Krebs's head throbs and his eyes bulge up, turning bloodshot. He then blabbers and shakes with fury as Freddy and Peck look at each other, worried, then spins into a fight cloud]
Peck: Hey, friend, are you-?
Freddy: Run away! [he and Peck try to run away from the fight cloud, but Krebs yanks them in, beating them up; poking out] Mommy!
[Abby gasps; Peck and Freddy are thrown into the barn doors]
Pip: Holy beat-down.
Duke: He can't do that to our friends. Come on fellas. [charges toward Krebs with Pig and Pip at his side]
Otis: No, don't! He'll tear you into pieces while enumerating the parts of your body in an insulting fashion!
[The trio leap and begin to attack Krebs, but are caught in the fight cloud]
Narrator: Two-hundred and thirty minutes later...
[Krebs continues beating up Pig, Pip and Duke]
Bessy: [laughing] Oh, mercy! Come for the stupidity, stay for the butt-whupping.
Krebs: [angry] I want Otis!
Otis: I can't just stand here... To the well! AAHHH, WELL! [jumps in the well]
[In a clip called "Ask Dr. Pig"]
Pig: Hello, I'm Dr. Pig, and I'm here with the word about bullying. Bullying is a misdirected attempt at attention rooted in anger and frustration. [Krebs bursts through the wall and starts beating him up] Ow! Hey, I'm a doctor! Don't hurt me! Help! [Krebs throws him, leaving a hole-shape of himself in the wall of the barn] Whoa! Oof!
Krebs: Here's Krebsy!
Abby: I'm warning you, duck, I wrassled gators one summer on an internship. [spits in her hands]
Krebs: Look, all I want is...
[Abby does a ululating war cry, causing Krebs to become enraged again. He screams in a similar fashion before attacking Abby]
Otis: [as he watches Krebs beat up Abby] Oh, no, not Abby. Now he's gone too far.
Krebs: [after finishing Abby off] I'll ask one more time. Where's Otis?
Otis: I'm right here, Krebs. And you're done pushing my friends around.
Krebs: Otis, finally. Listen, I just want-
Otis: Have at you! [beats up Krebs] Duck sauce! Spicy wings! Crispy meat roll! DUCK À L'ORANGE! [belly flops on top of him]
Pip: Otis, you did it.
[The others cheer for him]
Otis: I did it, I faced my fear. [suddenly, Krebs lifts him up off of himself] It's like I feel a foot taller.
[Krebs spins Otis and throws him against the barn]
[Looking at Otis, Krebs lifts his wing in a fist, then holds it out to him]
Krebs: Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?
Otis: [looking confused] Huh? What do you mean? [as Krebs helps him up] Aren't you going to pound me into a pulp and use my ego as a chew toy?
Krebs: No, Otis, I come here to apologize for being a jerk to you as a kid.

Pecky Suave / Otis Vs. Bigfoot [1.18]

[edit]

Pig Amok / The Sun Cow [1.24]

[edit]
Abby: Otis, does Pig seem to be acting odd to you?
Otis: Pig, odd? What are you talking about?
Pig: Butter churn, I can no longer resist your charms. Hold me.
Otis: Abby, what Pig and the butter churn have is beautiful, and I won't let you destroy it. [Pig kisses the butter churn] Okay, now it's getting weird.
Duke: Hey, Pig. You feelin' alright?
Pig: [suddenly angry] WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN, HUH?! No one talks to me like that! [Duke screams] Oh, it's over, Rover!
[Duke runs screaming with Pig on top of his head.]
Pig: "ANGRY?!" YOU BET I'M ANGRY! I AM SO ANGRY!
Duke: Help! He's off his nut!
Pig: [dismounts Duke and hugs him sadly] Oh, Duke! I'm so lonely... [strangles Duke] NOW, I'M ANGRY AGAIN! VERY, VERY ANGRY!

Doggelganger / Save the Clams [1.25]

[edit]
[Duke has been replaced with an imposter named Baxter at the vet]
Dr. Glove: OK, Baxter, it's doggy-doctor time! Who loves his doggy-doctor? You do, yes you do, yes you do! [Duke mumbled protestation] Aw, don't be scared boy, this won't hurt at all. [reads "Duke's" chart] Oh, deep de-worming. I was wrong. [starts up a giant machine] This is gonna hurt! Yes it is, yes it is!
[Duke recoils in terror]
Dr. Glove: Aw, relax, Baxter, the worst is over, yes, it is, yes, it is! [takes off safety goggles and reads the chart again] Oops, I'm wrong. Says here I have to flush out your brain hole. [picks up a large syringe-like device] Who's got a dirty brain? Baxter does, yes, he does!
[Duke is mortified]
Duke: [to himself] Hang in there, Duke, you've just been poked, drilled, humiliated, but there was nothing they can do to break you.
Dr. Glove: [returns with a bucket of leeches] Okay, Baxter, time for your butt-leeching. Who's going to his butt leeched? Baxter is, yes, he is.
Duke: Okay, that's it! [knocks leeches into Glove's face and runs away]
Dr. Glove: Oh, the leeches are on my face! [stumbles into wall] Who's draining my face blood? [hits head on examination lamp] You are, yes, you are! [collapses from blood loss/head trauma]

Cowdyshack / Adventures in Snotty Sitting [1.26]

[edit]

Season 2

[edit]

Treasure Hunt [2.01]

[edit]

Wild Mike's Dance Party /Buyers Beware [2.02]

[edit]

Abby and Veronica / Anchor Cow [2.03]

[edit]

Bling My Barn / Udderado [2.04]

[edit]

Otis: Guys, I appreciate your concern,

but the button is big and shiny and looks like candy, so--

All: No!

Otis: Wants to press it...

(the other animals try to hold him back.)

(he pushes the button.)

Whoops. That's a big pile of not good.

[explosion]

(Snotty Boy watches the explosion.)

Snotty Boy: Ha-ha!

Cupig / Happy Animal Fun Time [2.05]

[edit]

Dream Birthday / Lord of the Beavers [2.06]

[edit]

(Later that day)

  • Farmer: (wakes up) Wow. That was the best birthday dream ever. (sees roses outside his door) Huh? (reads note) "Happy Birthday, Farmer. Signed Attractive Vet Lady"! Yippee-dee-doo! (falls on his back)
  • Otis: Maybe next year we just get him a tie.

(Abe Lincoln comes in)

  • Abe: How about a gift certificate so he can get what he wants?
  • Everybody: Aah!

(Otis wakes up)

  • Otis: Agh! Oh, it was just a dream. What a relief.

(Farmer comes in flying)

  • Farmer: At least you didn't say, "papaya." (throws a paint balloon)
  • Otis: Ow! I didn't say, "papaya." (getting pelted)
  • Pig: (wakes up) Aah! Oh, ooh-hoo. I had that Farmer's birthday, scary Lincoln, Otis being pelted by paint balloons dream again. Thank goodness everything's back to normal. (realizes he's in space he started to scream)
  • Freddy: (wakes up) Agh! Oh, Peck, I had the Pig in space dream again.
  • Peck: (comes in as a giant) Aw, poor guy. Here. Have a glass of warm milk.
  • Freddy: Oh, thanks. Aah!
  • Pip: Agh! Aw, man. I had the Abe Lincoln, Pig in space, giant Peck dream again.
  • Otis: You got to stop eating pickles before bed.
  • Abe: Could you guys keep it down? I'm trying to sleep. (turns off the lights with his hands)
  • Everybody: Aah!
  • (The episode ends.)

Fumblebums / Endangered Liasons [2.07]

[edit]
[Inga, a real spotted ferret from Sweden, jumps out of a box]
Inga: [Swedish accent] Hello! I'm Inga. It's nice to meet you.
[In the farmer's house, Abby uses a Spotted Ferrets website with an image of Inga on a computer]
Abby: Okay, here's a Spotted Ferrets website.
Otis: Awesome! What does it say?
Abby: Let's see. It says on her wedding day, the lady spotted ferret builds a commitment den.
All: Aww.
Abby: Then the male gussy himself up for the ceremonial courtship dance.
All: Aww.
Abby: And following the dance, she eats her mate's head.
Otis: Uhh...
Pig: Okay, what are we going to get them?
Otis: Holy Cud! She's gonna eat Freddy's head!
Pig: Huh. So I guess the hat is off.
Peck: No wonder she's the only spotted ferret left! She's a head eater!
[In the commitment den, Freddy, who is a fake spotted ferret, faces Inga]
Freddy: [to Inga; sliding a ring on her index finger] With this ring, I pledge my love.
Inga: [to Freddy; holding a bottle of barbecue sauce] With this barbecue, I pledge my love. [pours the sauce on Freddy]
Freddy: I love your quaint old-world customs. So are we married yet?
Inga: Almost...There's only one part of the ceremony...
Otis: There won't be a reception; female spotted ferrets eat Their mates' heads on their wedding night!
Freddy: Look, marriage is all about compromise. You give a little; she eats your head... [Inga eats his head and the animals scream; muffled] It's okay! Just a little love bite.
Otis: Grab him!
[The animals pull Freddy's back from Inga's mouth]
Peck: Come on!
Pip: Dude, she has lockjaw.
Otis: Abby, quick, the spot remover! [grunts] Now!
[Abby and uses the spot remover to spray off the fake spots]
Freddy: [muffled at Inga's mouth] Are we married yet?
Inga: [looking surprised] Huh? [from off-screen, she spits out his head; tumbling Freddy onto the side of the hole] Freddy, you're not a spotted ferret! You lied to me!
Freddy: Inga, I can explain.
Inga: [packing up] No! The wedding is off! And to think, I almost ate your head! [walks off sobbing]
Freddy: Baby, don't go! I can change!
Otis: [rushes to Freddy] Freddy, she was eating your head!
Freddy: We were working through that!
Pig: [walks up] Hey, where's the happy couple? We got you a panini press. [Freddy bawls hysterically as he walks away] I knew we should have gotten the fondue set.

Little Otis / Kids in the City [2.08]

[edit]

Snotty & Snottier / Paging Dr. Filly [2.09]

[edit]
Nora: [to Phlegmy Boy, after she saved Snotty Boy] I'm sending you back to your mother and father, and you're never coming here again! [yells in a deep voice] EVER!!!!
Phlegmy Boy: [as Nora drags him away by his ear] I'll be back, Eugene. And I'm gonna eat your silly-billy skull!

Barnyards and Broomsticks / The Barn Buddy [2.10]

[edit]
Barn Buddy: Congratulations on your purchase of me! Let's get started shall we? [The iris appeared ending the episode, but Barn Buddy is on the iris out] Alert! You, the viewer, have been identified as an enemy intruder! You will be neutralized! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH-gita!

Free Schmoozy / Man's Best Fiend [2.11]

[edit]
Pip: Otis! Otis! I figured out what the whale's been saying. He's saying, "chase me."
Otis: "Chase me"? He must think this is some sort of game. How do you say, "please give our friends back" in whale?
Pip: Oh, that's easy It's-- [eaten by Schmoozy]
Otis: WOULD YOU STOP EATING MY FRIENDS?! At least your still safe, Peck!
Peck: Yeah, knock wood- [knocks the TNT and explodes while he Screams and the ship begans to sink]
Otis: Okay, that was kind of our fault, but this general predicament an still be largely attributable to you! Schmoozy!
Duke: [after calling Baxter on the phone] I'll show Baxter, I don't need the farmer, I got all the friends I need right here. So, uh, who wants to deworm me?
[The animals are confused]
Otis: It's time to do the barn meeting. Listen guys, we can't let Baxter get away with this, we need to get him out of the house once we get Duke back inside, but for all these sakes.
Duke: If Baxter sets me up for good, the farmer won’t even take me back to another place.
Otis: Listen Duke, you just need to help the farmer get rid of Baxter until you save him from a bear.
Freddy: Ooh, i like where this is going.
Duke: It’s because i don’t know, Freddy.
Otis: Don’t worry, animals, won’t even be a real bear, it's going to be me in a bear costume that can make me dress like a bear, the farmer needs to take Baxter outside to take a walk every afternoon.
Freddy: I love that plan, Otis.
Otis: I didn’t say that yet, Freddy.
Freddy: I don’t know why i'm not confused.
[Daytime, the farmer takes Baxter out for a walk]
Farmer: Okay Baxter, you lead the way. [Baxter barks; chuckles] What a cute little dickens. [suddenly, a real bear jumps out from behind a tree! Baxter screams] A bear! Get him, boy, get him! [Baxter circles around the farmer then pushes him toward the bear] Huh, what, don't, stop. Bad dog, what are you doing?
Duke: [watches them through binoculars] Look at Otis in that costume, here we go, it’s showtime. [charges straight towards the bear, wondering if it was Otis who was wearing the bear costume]
[The bear looks around as Duke kicks his leg, double kicks his back, bites his rear end, and Kung Fu kicks his face. Being knocked out, the bear stops near the farmer's feet]
Farmer: [unharmed and surprised] Well done Duke, you saved my life, you saved me from the bear, i’m not going to kick you out. Can you just forgive me? [The farmer pets Duke's head just as Baxter approaches them, the farmer glares at him] And as for you, Baxter, look what you did to me, you threw me to the bear, bad dog, you're going back to the animal shelter to find a new home.
[As Baxter watches the farmer walk off with a hurt expression, he turns to Duke angrily]
Baxter: Goodbye Duke, this isn't over, i'll be back, you'll see, and then we'll- [gets yanked away]
Duke: Come on Otis, get up, the farmer is heading straight to the animal shelter before Baxter finds a new home, he can't recognize you in your costume.
Otis: [in a bear costume, approaches] Roar, roar, roar, roar, roar! [takes off the mask]Hello Duke, what happened? Where’s Baxter? Where’s the farmer?
Duke: The farmer sent Baxter back to the animal shelter. Who's that? Is that the real bear? [points to the real bear]
Bear: It’s time for a round two, sheepdog.
Duke: Wait, i can explain, you see, that other dog stole my identity in the previous episode, and recently returned to try it again.
Bear: Who are you? Professor Exposition?
[The Professor Exposition gag is shown.]
Duke: Who? [the bear pounds him into the ground and leaves]'

Everett's Treasure / King Cud [2.12]

[edit]

Mr. Wiggleplix / Chain Gang [2.14]

[edit]

Get Bessy / A Beautiful Freddy [2.15]

[edit]

Back at the Booyard [2.16]

[edit]
Duke: First the lights, then the scream, Now the locked door, This has Hockey Mask Bob written all over it!
Otis: There is no Hockey Mask Bob. Someone get me a shovel. I'm breaking this door open.
Pig: Not me. I'm waiting right here so he doesn't get me.
[Hockey Mask Bob grabs Pig in the basement and the animals started to panic that Hockey Mask Bob was here]
Sheep: Oh, no, they got him. That was hockey mask bob. Did you see that?
Otis: All right, stay calm. Nobody panic.
Pip: Why not?
Otis: Because I'm gonna panic enough for everyone. [panics] OH MY GOSH, IT WAS REALLY HOCKEY MASK BOB! HE'S REALLY REAL! AND HE JUST TOOK ABBY AND PIG AND NOW HE'S GONNA COME AFTER THE REST OF US!

Arcade of Doom / Rodeotis [2.17]

[edit]

Mission: Save Bigfoot / Mrs. Beady Takes a Holiday [2.18]

[edit]

It's an Udderful Life! [2.19]

[edit]

Robopeck / Puppy Love [2.20]

[edit]
Singer: ♪ Bionic rooster
Bionic rooster
Bionic roo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-ooster
Bionic rooster
Bionic rooster! ♪
[The animals watching on Farmer's TV of Robo(Peck) causing the city's destruction]
Hilly Burford: Hilly Burford live from downtown, where some kind of crazy laser-shooting robot ostrich is weaving a path of destruction!
Robo(Peck): [grabs Hilly Burford with his arms] Let me help you across the street.
Hilly Burford: Hey, that's quite all right. Just put me down, now- Whoa! [Robo(Peck) throws him to the TV Screen]
Abby: We gotta do something before he destroys the whole town!
Otis: There's only one way to stop him.
Boil: Please don't say peanut butter.
Otis: There's only two ways to stop him.
Boil: You mean-
Otis: Precisely! Come on, kids. We've got a cyborg to build.
[Duke's sister, Stamps, arrives at the barnyard]
Stamps: [British accent] Hey, Dukey!
Duke: Stamps!
Stamps: How you doing?
Duke: Come here, sis! [hugs her]
Duke: Stamps, these are my friends, Otis, Abby, Pig, Pip...
Pip: What's up?
Duke: Peck...
Peck: Hi there.
Duke: ...and Freddy.
[Freddy greets Stamps with an arrowed plunger on his face]
Stamps: It's nice to meet you. I can't stay long, Dukey. We just want to stop by and get your blessing, then it's off to Vegas for the wedding.
Otis: Vegas? That's practically in Asia. Why don't you guys just get married here at the barnyard?
Stamps: Oh, we wouldn't want to be a bother.
Abby: Oh, it's no bother. The farmer is away for the whole week at Fire Dance Camp.
[At Fire Dance Camp, the farmer, wearing a grass skirt, fire dances]
Stamps: In that case, we loved to get married here!
[Otis and the others chatter in excitement. Freddy muffles as if to say, "Weddings are good!"]
Duke: So, Stamps, where's my future bro-in-law anyway?
Stamps: Right behind me with the bags. Here he comes now.
[A figure, with its legs seen, carries three bags]
Duke: Look at him, carrying your bags all gentlemanly. I like this guy already.
Male voice: Thanks, Darren.
[The figure, which turns out to be Baxter, drops the bags]
Baxter: I like you, too.
[As Otis and the others gasp in shock, Freddy pulls the arrowed plunger off of his face]
Duke: Baxter?
Baxter: That's right. Your sister and I are getting hitched.
Duke: Whoa, whoa! [pushes his nemesis aside] Stamps, you can't marry this guy. He's a total conman!
Otis: Yeah, he stole Duke's identity and try to get him kicked out of the barnyard!
Abby: And then he tricked the farmer into adopting him and got Duke kicked out of the house.
Pig: And once he cut off a guy's hand and expelled him from the Jedi Council!
Pip: Dude, that was a movie.
Pig: I like movies. [a flashback shows Pig, disguise as a boy, watching a horror movie in a movie theater] Don't go in there, the monster's in there! Don't do it, old friend! You believe this? It's like she's not even listening. [answers the phone] Hey, I'm at the movies. Alice just went into the room where Dracula is waiting. Well, of course, I've warned her!
[Back in reality]
Duke: I'm telling you, this guy is trouble.
Stamps: Dukey, it's okay. Baxter has told me all about his past, but he's different now.
Baxter: That's right, Dakron, your sister's love has made me a new dog.
Stamps: Will you please give us your blessing, Dukey? Please? [looks at her brother with puppy dog eyes]
Duke: Oh, geez, with the puppy dog eyes? Alright. But I'll be watching you, buddy. [makes an "I'm watching you" gesture]
Stamps: Thanks, Dukey! Ain't that wonderful, honey?
Baxter: It sure is, Cuddle-wuggles. Give me some sugar.
[As Stamps and Baxter rub their noses together, Duke growls angrily while he bares his teeth]
Otis: [shouting into Duke's ear, causing his brain to poke out of his head] Baxter is marrying your sister so he can kick your family's various buckets and get your fortune!
Duke: What?! [as he puts his brain back in his head] Why, that skivvy little mutt!
Stamps: [after Duke tricked Baxter] I heard the whole thing, Baxter! You lying, no-good, flimflamming...!
Baxter: But, Stimpy, I can explain!
Duke: You're busted, Baxter. Have fun on your honeymoon. [puts him in a cage on a catapult]
Baxter: Wait, Derek! You can't do this! I'm your husband! [Duke launches Baxter away] I love you!

Clonedemonium / Hickory Dickory Donkey [2.21]

[edit]

Clown and Out / Clan of the Cave Cow [2.22]

[edit]

Four Leaf Otis / Cop Cow [2.23]

[edit]

Plucky and Me / Pig of the Mole People [2.24]

[edit]

A Catfish Named Eddie / Beady and the Beasts [2.25]

[edit]

Aliens!!! [2.26]

[edit]

Cast

[edit]

[edit]
Wikipedia
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