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Bedtime Stories (film)

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Bedtime Stories is a 2008 American family-fantasy-comedy film directed by Adam Shankman and starring Adam Sandler.

Skeeter Bronson

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  • [Reffering to Bugsy on his head] What the heck is on my head right now?
  • [Skeeter sings to the staff] Barry had a Nottingham. Nottingham. Nottingham. Barry had a Nottingham whose beard was white as snow. [Skeeter stops singing] C'mon, give it up for the big man.
  • Lucky my wallet only had three dollars, and my Derek Jeter baseball card!
  • I'll have me win in the story, so I'll win for real. Do ya dig?
  • [Barry Nottingham doesn't want to hug Skeeter because of germs] Let's get past that. OK. Oh, see? Look, your enjoying it. We're hugging, and nothing's happening.
  • The Big Hotel Idea Story!
  • Gotta babysit my niece and nephew tonight. Oh God. Got any advice for me?
  • [talking on the phone from the next room] EMERGENCY! [enters the room] They don't have a TV.
  • There are no happy endings in real life. The sooner you guys learn that, the better.
  • [looking at Bugsy's (guinea pig) eyes] DAAAAAAAAAAH! Wow! Those would look big on a cow! Are those eyeballs or bowling balls? Need to keep my eyes off him, goodbye.

Jill Hastings

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  • It's not that big, sir. It can fit into one spot.
  • Excuse me Mr. Nottingham. My name is Jill Hastings. I'm a teacher at Webster Elementary.
  • That's my Prius.
  • [to Skeeter after he finds out that the new hotel is replacing Webster Elementary School] Don't destroy the sliver of respect I still have for you by making lame excuses. Just go away and stay away.

Patrick Bronson

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  • [Skeeter mistakes him for Bobbi] I'm Patrick. She's Bobbi.
  • Girls are bisgrusting, except for Trisha Sparks.
  • [looks at the stars] Oh look. A pyramid.
  • You have to read us a bedtime story.


Bobbi Bronson

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  • [is asked how hamburgers taste] Lifechanging.
  • Patrick's never kissed a girl.
  • [looking at Skeeter's gifts] Shampoo, and a soap?

Other

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  • Barry Nottingham Yes. Now, sign the bloody papers.
  • Mickey [translating Skeeter's gibberish] Jumping up and down on the alligator.
  • Barry Nottingham Germs!
  • Mickey Oh, so positive visualisation. I read a book on that once...I read the back cover...I can't read. [Bugsy starts laughing] Shut up, Bugsy! I've got opposable thumbs. What do you think about that? [Bugsy stops laughing]


Dialogue

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  • Skeeter Am I really getting a cherry-red ferrari?
  • Robber I don't see why not.
  • Skeeter For freeeee?!
  • Robber Sounds good to... meeeee?
  • Violet Nottingham Skeeter? Skeeter Bronson?
  • Skeeter Yes, ma'am.
  • Skeeter Raining gumballs?
  • Patrick Why not? It's a bedtime story: anything can happen.
  • Skeeter Yeah, well I guess, in the story. I just wish it was like that in real life. I really do. [imaginary wind chimes sound]
  • Bobbi You go into a magical cave.
  • Skeeter Caves are nice.
  • Bobbi And Abe Lincoln's there.
  • Skeeter Abe Lincoln?! What, is this a joke to you?! What the heck's the matter with you?!
  • Skeeter So you need me, this is good. I´ll do it. But you will have to say "Skeeter is the coolest, I´m a nerd".
  • Wendy Skeeter is the coolest, I´m a nerd
  • Skeeter Yeah, you are!
  • Marty: And so Skeeter sat on his bed filled with regret, wondering how to put the pieces of his life back together after one magical week.
  • Skeeter: [sarcastic] Great ending, huh?
  • Marty: That was your ending?! I thought this was just a sad part before things got better!
  • Skeeter: What do you mean?
  • Marty: Well in the stories I told you, just when things looked bleakest, the hero would do something unexpected and courageous to beat the bad guy, save the day and get the girl!
  • Skeeter: [inspired] Yeah! How do I do that?
  • Marty: It's your story, not mine. But you better get moving; go get 'em, son!

Cast

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