Better Call Saul (season 5)

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The following is a list of quotes from the fifth season Better Call Saul.

Magic Man [5.01][edit]

[Saul, under his Gene alias, calls Ed after the taxi driver who recognized him approaches him at the mall]
Saul: I need an adapter for a Hoover Max Extract Pressure Pro, model 60.
Ed: Huh. [pause] We've delivered to you before, haven't we?
Saul: Yeah. I'm in Omaha, Nebraska.
Ed: Mr. Takavic... that will be a very difficult part to obtain. And I wanna warn you, it's gonna be more expensive than the original.
Saul: How expensive?
Ed: Double the price. And we are still in a cash on delivery situation. Will that be a problem?
Saul: No. No, it's fine.
Ed: How hot are you?
Saul: I got made.
Ed: You got made. Alright. Any official involved?
Saul: No, not yet.
Ed: Pickup is going to be in the same place you were dropped off. Do you remember where that is?
Saul: Yeah, I do.
Ed: Alright, Mr. Takavic. Thursday... 7:00 a.m. Same spot. You know the rest, am I right? [beat] Mr. Takavic? Still there?
Saul: [pause] I've changed my mind.
Ed: Changed your mind?
Saul: Yeah.
Ed: To be clear, you are not going forward with this?
Saul: I'm gonna fix it myself. [hangs up phone]

Kim: Jimmy...
Jimmy: Listen, I know this seems fast. It is fast, I can see it!
Kim: You're changing your name?
Jimmy: No! I–well, yes. For my clients.
Kim: You're gonna call yourself, Saul Goodman?
Jimmy: I'm already calling myself Saul Goodman! We've talked about this, that scammers would buy my phones. Sure as shooting, sooner or later, every last one of them is gonna find themselves in the back of a squad car. How do I get them to call Jimmy McGill? I don't! I stay Saul Goodman, they call the guy they already know. I thought I was wasting a year of my life! It wasn't a waste, it was for this! This is it!
Kim: When did you decide...
Jimmy: Just now! Just back there, just... POOM! It just hit me! This is the way. Kim, it's gonna work!
Kim: I...
Jimmy: I know. All of a sudden, I got it all figured out, but I–I do! This is right! So, I'll get this done, and then we can talk about it, okay? [pause] I mean... unless... Is–Is there something that I'm not seeing here? If you want me to slow my roll, I can come back, and do this another day.
Kim: [pause] If this is how you're really feeling...
Jimmy: It is.
Kim: I say, "Sure."
Jimmy: Great! Five minutes max!

[Mike meets with Gus underneath the laundromat after sending the German construction crew back home]
Gus: Well?
Mike: Last of them got on a plane for Zurich an hour ago. No problem.
Gus: Will they do as they have been told?
Mike: You're asking my opinion?
Gus: I am.
Mike: They know the consequences.
Gus: And the laundry?
Mike: The entrances to the side have been sealed. Nobody's gonna stumble on it.
Gus: As long as Lalo Salamanca is on this side of the border, we cannot continue as we were.
Mike: So this is it?
Gus: No, this is not it. Once Salamanca is dealt with–and he will be dealt with–construction will resume. Until then, you will continue to be paid.
Mike: You're gonna pay me to do nothing?
Gus: Call it a retainer.
Mike: Even after Ziegler?
Gus: Yes.
Mike: What happened in Frankfurt?
Gus: The attorneys spent a full day with his wife. She accepted the facts as presented. As per your suggestion, a construction accident. The funeral was yesterday, and of course, she has been compensated.
Mike: Compensated?
Gus: I... would choose my next words...very carefully if I were you.
Mike: [beat] You keep your goddamn retainer.

Huell: Well done, magic man.
Jimmy: We're just gettin' started.

50% Off [5.02][edit]

[Ron and Sticky, two drug dealers who attended Saul's cell phone promotion, wake up in their car after a drug-fueled binge across town]
Sticky: What day is it?
Ron: Uh... Tuesday.
Sticky: Tuesday? You know what that means?
Both: Fifty percent off!

[Lalo, Nacho, Krazy-8 and other members of the cartel play poker]
Krazy-8: Call. [lays stack of chips]
Nacho: Fairgrounds Flats is doing really good. Lots of traffic.
Lalo: [to Nacho] Hey, shut up while I'm in a hand. [long pause] You know what? [throws two stacks of chips to the center of the table] Two hundred.
Krazy-8: [looks at cards for a moment before laying down two] It's too deep for me.
[Lalo quickly reveals a 7+2 suit. Krazy-8 stares at Lalo in disbelief]
Lalo: [to Krazy-8] Ha! Did I get you? Let me see what you had. [flips over Krazy-8's cards to show a pair of 8s] You had a set? You had three 8's on the turn, and you don't risk. And then you fold at the river. That's too bad. Ocho Loco, this guy, huh?
[Lalo and the other cartel members laugh as he brings the chips towards his side]
Lalo: Alright, guys, give me your cards.
Krazy-8: [hears cell phone ring] Sorry. Yeah? ...Hold up. [hangs up phone] Problem on Fifth Street. Some skells, they didn't get their stuff.
Nacho: It's your crew.
[Krazy-8 gets up and leaves the table]
Lalo: Off you go, Ocho Loco.

[Krazy-8 gets caught by police while trying to dislodge bags of drugs out of a drain pipe]
Officer #1: [to Krazy-8] Is this your vehicle?
Krazy-8: Uh... No, sir.
Officer #1: Wanna come down here?
Krazy-8: No problem, officer. [climbs down ladder]
Officer #2: Whatcha doing up there?
Krazy-8: Just fixing a drain pipe. Some kind of block.
[Krazy-8 taps on the pipe twice; several cocaine packets come flying out]
Officer #2: Guess you fixed it.

The Guy for This [5.03][edit]

[Nacho takes Jimmy to Lalo Salamanca after Krazy-8 is arrested by the DEA. Jimmy watches uncomfortably as Lalo whistles while fixing a car engine and washing his hands.]
Jimmy: Can I talk? I–I'll talk. I have a feeling I know what this is about. Just to get the ball rolling, please keep in mind whatever happened between Mr. Varga and myself... I'm hoping that's just water under the bridge. [to Nacho] 'Cause after all was said and done, you did walk out a free man. I mean, you weren't even in custody for a full day. And I admit, it was a tad bumpy getting there, but the path to justice is smooth. So, I'm hoping that in the end–you know– the final result speaks for itself.
Lalo: You had business with my cousin, Tuco.
Jimmy: Tuco? [pause] Oh, sure, sure! Yeah, I see the family resemblance. Your cousin makes quite an impression. He has a huge heart, and... a serious passion for justice.
Lalo: He's got a temper, huh?
Jimmy: I hadn't noticed. Uh... How is your lovely abuelita?
Lalo: [pause] You know, Tuco told me about you. You're the guy with a mouth.
Jimmy: Yeah.
Lalo: [to Nacho] Those guys at the house... what'd they call her?
Nacho: Biznatch.
Lalo: Biznatch. Yeah, right. [grabs a chair and sits down] You know, the Tuco I know... He would've skinned them alive and let the buzzards eat their eyeballs. But there you were. You go, "Blah-blah-blah," and they walk out of there! [to Nacho] I mean, it's amazing! Really!
Jimmy: They wheeled out actually.
Lalo: So, Ignacio and I... We got something you can do for us.
Jimmy: Really?
Lalo: Yeah, we got a legal problem.
Jimmy: Oh! [chuckles] A–A legal problem? Fantastic! I'm sorry, it's just for a minute there, I thought I was gonna be... swallowing condoms filled with heroin!
Lalo: [laughs] No. But, maybe later.
Nacho: We have a guy sitting in MDC, picked up two days ago.
Jimmy: Picked up for what?
Lalo: Yeah, we'll get to that. We need our friend to tell the cops things. Some important things.
Jimmy: Important things, gotcha.
Lalo: We want him to say exactly what we tell him. No more, no less. But the cops can't know it's coming from us. So, we send you in there... you tell him how to do it, and they can't listen.
Nacho: Attorney-client confidentiality.
Lalo: Yeah. That.
Jimmy: [pause] Uh... that's flattering. Uh... can I offer... [takes out disposable cellphone] this? I guarantee there are five of these in MDC right now. You know, drop phones in, say, someone's "prison wallet", if you know what I'm talking about. Anyway, you talk directly to your guy. Cut out the middle man.
Nacho: It works better if you're in there with him.
Lalo: [gets up from chair] You're the guy for this.
Jimmy: That's just... That's... terrific, that's the only word for it. By good conscience, I think I have to warn you that my rates have gone up. So going this way could be expensive.
Lalo: How expensive?
Jimmy: Expensive. I–I mean...
Lalo: Yeah?
Jimmy: Yeah, um... Well, it's a full day of my time, and prep work, transportation, rush fees. Uh... do the math, it's like seven thousand... eight, nine hundred, and twenty-five dollars? Yeah.
Lalo: Seven thousand, nine hundred and twenty-five?
Jimmy: It's the going rate, so...
Lalo: Sure. [takes out cash from back pocket] For your trouble, let's make it eight.

Jimmy: Hey, silence! [to Krazy-8] Were you talking to them? Were you talking to my client without his lawyer present?
Hank: [pause] And you are?
Jimmy: Saul Goodman. I'm Mr. Molina's attorney, and you're in violation of his constitutional rights.
Hank: Heh-heh. S'all good, man! [he and Gomez laugh] Really? Come on. That's your name?
Jimmy: Listen, Officer...
Gomez: Uh, Special Agent.
Jimmy: Oh, the DEA. [points at their badges] Oh, I see. Okay, the feds. Well... What, they don't teach the constitution at Quantico these days?
Gomez: Yeah. Quantico is FBI.
Jimmy: Oh, well, DEA, FBI, Department of Sanitation. It's time for you two gentlemen to vacate the premises. There's the door, shoo-shoo. Go away!
Hank: Your client waived his right to an attorney.
Jimmy: Well, he most certainly did not.
Krazy-8: Yeah, I did.
Jimmy: Zip it, okay? Nobody's talking to you.
Hank: No, he wants to talk to us.
Jimmy: He's confused, okay? He was dropped on his head as a child.
Krazy-8: I wanna talk.
Jimmy: No, you don't!
Krazy-8: Yeah, I do!
Hank: Sounds like he does.
Jimmy: You just... Uh, one moment. [to Krazy-8] Come here. Just come here!
[Jimmy pulls Krazy-8 aside. Hank and Gomez look at each other skeptically]
Jimmy: [to Krazy-8] You're killing me here, man! Okay, look... My client is making what I believe to be a grave error. Also, showing a heartbreaking lack of faith in his attorney, and I'm not gonna lie, it hurts. [sighs] He insists on dealing, so... Let's talk turkey.
Hank: [pause] You know what? We're not interested. I feel like my chain is being jerked. And not in a good way, if you know what I'm sayin'.
Gomez: There's no half mil. Never was.
Hank: Yep. Bullshit! I called it, Gomie.
Gomez: You did.
[Hank and Gomez get up from their seats]
Jimmy: Hold on, guys. Hold up...
Hank: I think I'm gonna blow this popsicle stand.
Jimmy: ...wait a second!
Hank: You gentlemen have a great afternoon.

[Jimmy and Nacho watch as Lalo does several laps after Jimmy gets Krazy-8 out of trouble with the DEA. Eventually, Lalo gets out of his car]
Lalo: WOO-HOO! You hear that?! I replaced the carburetor. She's running like a race horse, man!
Jimmy: It's a fine vehicle. That's a thing of beauty.
Lalo: Yeah? What do you drive?
Jimmy: An Esteem.
Lalo: A what?
Jimmy: A Suzuki Esteem. It's an import.
Lalo: Huh. So?
Jimmy: So, just like you wanted. Assuming the dead drops are a real thing, the feds are gonna be on him.
Lalo: Feds?
Jimmy: Yeah. DEA. There's a matched pair of them, and they're into this with a vengeance. I mean, think feeding time in the lion cage. And, um... they're gunning for arrests.
Lalo: Okay.
Jimmy: [pause] Oh, and... your guy is now a confidential informant.
Lalo: What do you mean? Like a rat?
Jimmy: No! He's not a rat, no! I mean–well, if he's a rat, he's your rat. So... Uh, put it this way. You now have a hotline to the DEA. And not just now–any time, so that's a good thing. Right? But the deal is, at some point, you might hear that Domingo is a snitch. You gotta know... he's not.
Lalo: And what do you care?
Jimmy: Well, all due respect, you're paying me, but he's my client. I'd like to keep him alive.
Lalo: [laughs; in Spanish] This dude. Good idea.
Jimmy: [as Lalo walks away] Oh, one more thing. You're gonna have to find a different attorney for future endeavors, 'cause my schedule is just very, very tight.
Lalo: [pause] You'll make time.
[Lalo gets in his car and drives off]
Jimmy: [to Nacho] Who exactly did I just set up?!
Nacho: You don't wanna know.
Jimmy: I mean, if there's gonna be blowback, I don't wanna be in the middle of it!
Nacho: It's not about what you want. When you're in... you're in.

[Kim returns to Acker's house to convince him to move]
Kim: Hi. Can we start over?
Acker: Say what you came to say.
Kim: I went to a real estate office. I found some houses I think you might like. There's some really nice options in your price range. [shows Acker pamphlet] This one's on half an acre. And, uh... This one is older, but it has a really good view... and the neighborhood's pretty. [pause] I know moving's a big deal. I'd like to help you out with that myself, if that's alright with you. I can take off any day this week. I'll pay for it out of my own pocket. Uh... Oh! This one has three bedrooms. [pause] I know you don't wanna move, but whatever house you choose will be yours. You'll own it–and the land–forever.
[Acker stares at Kim for several moments before she closes the pamphlet]
Kim: You're right. I can't pretend to understand what you're going through. I've never owned a house. My family never owned one either. We never owned anything. When I was little, my mother used to shake me awake in the middle of the night, yelling, "It was time to go." She was always one step ahead of the landlord. I'd thrown my things in a cardboard box, and run outside in my pajamas and bare feet. Sometimes... It was so cold... my–my toes turned blue. [beat; Acker is still staring at Kim] If we had found a house, I never would have wanted to leave.
Acker: [pause] You'll say anything to get anything you want, won't you?

Namaste [5.04][edit]

[Jimmy deals with Ron and Sticky, who have both been arrested since their last encounter with him]
Jimmy: You gentlemen have had a busy week, huh? Bail has been denied, no mystery there. Let's start at the beginning. Somehow, you two are short on priors, so I think I can get the DA to knock the drug charges down to simple possession. We can lay responsibility for the felonies at the doorstep of your unfortunate dependence on hard drugs, but we would have to argue for rehab as part of probation.
Sticky: Hells, naw! I hate rehab!
Jimmy: Alright, don't get all in a twist, okay? I've heard that there exists certain less than reputable establishments that will provide certification without the pleasure of your actual attendance.
Sticky: You know a place like that?
Jimmy: I could conceivably find such a place for an additional fee.
Ron: Alright. 'Cause I ain't goin' to no rehab.
Jimmy: You go, you don't go–it's between you and your God. But you gotta tell the judge you'll go, and you gotta sound like you mean it, okay?
Ron: Yeah.
Sticky: Yeah, okay.
Jimmy: Well, all that's left is your many, many misdemeanors, which include... graffiti, vandalism, littering, public urination...
Sticky: [laughs] Nature's callin' you, you gotta answer it.
Ron: Hold it too long, you get kidney-stoned.
Jimmy: [sighs] Be that as it may, even misdemeanors add up. So, if I get you concurrent sentences, you're looking at... twelve months. Now, with good behavior and overcrowding, that takes it down to six, maybe five months. That's minimum security, it's gonna be like taking a cruise only less danger of drowning.
Sticky: Christ, man! Five months?!
Jimmy: Down from five years. Consecutive. Or worse, if they get this heavy stuff this thick. Now, come on! You do five months, you do a little community service–maybe a year probation–and you're gold, pony boy! Sound good?
Sticky: Okay, yeah. We–We can take that.
Ron: No doubt.
Jimmy: Great! So, all that's left is my fee. For my time, court costs, filing fees... you're looking at... Oh, let's say about... four grand. All in!
Ron: S–Say what?
Sticky: Yo, don't play us like that! What about, "50% off"?
Jimmy: That is 50% off. My normal rate would be 4K each.
Ron: [to Sticky] Dude, this is BS. They got lawyers here they gotta give us. You pay nothing.
Sticky: Free lawyers?
Ron: Public defenders. With 4K we can get a lot of skunk, man.
Jimmy: I'm sorry, free lawyer? Y–You're saying that you want a free lawyer?
Sticky: We're just talking over options.
Ron: And you know, free is...you know... free.
Jimmy: Did you ever hear the phrase, "You get what you pay for," you numb-nick? Without me, they're gonna lock you up and throw away the key. I'm sorry, did I say five years? You go ahead and play Russian roulette with a public pretender, you're gonna end up doing a decade in Los Lunas! You twerps even know who I am?! I am Saul Goodman, okay?! You think 4K is too much?! Yesterday, I got paid 8K just for the afternoon! That's how good I am! I am the real deal! You're lucky I'm even talking to you!

Howard: So... Saul Goodman. Am I allowed to call you Jimmy?
Jimmy: Uh, Saul Goodman is my professional name, but my friends still call me Jimmy. You can, too.
Howard: Well, tell me about Saul Goodman.
Jimmy: What do you mean?
Howard: Well, what I mean is... If he's not Jimmy McGill, who is he? What's he about?
Jimmy: Hmm, well... [pause] Saul Goodman is, uh, he's the last line of defense for the little guy. You're getting sold down the river, he's a life raft. You're getting stepped on, he's a sharp stick. You got Goliath on your back, Saul's the guy with the slingshot. He's a righter of wrongs, he's a friend to the friendless. That's Saul Goodman.
Howard: Wow. [pause] Couldn't Jimmy McGill do all that?
Jimmy: Maybe he could, but Saul Goodman is.
Howard: I get it.
Jimmy: You do?
Howard: Yeah. I understand why you changed your name.
Jimmy: Is that right?
Howard: Hamlin Hamlin McGill did you wrong. Your name is a part of that firm, now it's tainted. We took your legacy away from you.
Jimmy: If you say so, Howard.
Howard: No, I've been thinking about this a lot. And you know what? We should've hired you.
Jimmy: Don't worry about it. That's ancient history.
Howard: You deserved a shot. And I could've given it to you... when you got barred, or when you brought us Sandpiper. Both times, I should've shown some backbone. It would've been the right thing to do.
Jimmy: Well, I am glad you had this cleansing moment of clarity, Howard.

Judge Chapak: Your witness, Mr. Goodman?
Jimmy: Thank you for coming in today, Mr. Harkness. I just wanna clarify a few things from your testimony if that's okay.
Harkness: Okay.
Jimmy: So, you were working at the Sandea Mart the night of the 30th. Is that correct?
Harkness: Got in at noon, left at midnight.
Jimmy: That's a long day. Good for you. Nothing wrong with a hard day's work. So, you say a man came in, and he reached across the counter, and quote, "He grabbed up the money from my register, and run off."
Harkness: Yeah.
Jimmy: And there was no one else in the store?
Harkness: Not at that time, no.
Jimmy: And since the camera system wasn't working at the time, you're the only one who saw the perpetrator.
Harkness: Yeah, I guess so.
Jimmy: [pause; looks at Kim briefly] Yeah. So, this person came in, and bought something.
Harkness: I think it was an Almond Joy.
Jimmy: Bought an Almond Joy, and when you rang them up, that's when they snatched the cash from the register. Sounds like it happened pretty fast, but you say you got a good look at him. Correct?
Harkness: Yes.
Jimmy: You must drink stronger coffee than I do, 'cause after eleven hours on the job, I can barely see straight. [to the jury] And it was dark out!
Harkness: Well, he's the only guy that came in that night. It wasn't made up like a... bat or a cat or whatever the hell those guys are. And he was right up in my face.
Jimmy: Right in your face. And according to your testimony, you feel confident that you can identify this person. That's what you're saying.
Harkness: I can. Absolutely. [points at defendant offscreen] It's him. Your client.
Jimmy: Are you sure that's the person? There's no doubt in your mind? Take your time!
Harkness: I don't need time. That's him!
Jimmy: Now would you be surprised to learn, Mr. Harkness, that the person you just pointed to is not the defendant?
Harkness: W... What?
Jimmy: My client is in the back of the courtroom. Mr. Sakey, would you please stand up?
[A bearded man resembling Jimmy's "defendant" stands up]
Lawler: Objection!
Jimmy: The person you ID'd is named Hollis Early. He's a bartender down in Balin. He has a very good alibi for the night in question.
Lawler: Your Honor, objection!
Judge Chapak: Oh, Mr. Goodman! Really?!
Jimmy: You didn't recognize him either, Your Honor.

[Jimmy visits Acker on Kim's behalf after she fails to convince Acker to leave his house]
Acker: Who the hell are you?
Jimmy: [puts foot near door as Acker tries to close it] Mr. Acker, my name is Saul Goodman. I am an attorney...
Acker: I've had up to here with you Mesa Verde scumbags! Get bent!
Jimmy: No, I'm not representing Mesa Verde! In fact, I'd like to represent you, sir!
Acker: I don't need a lawyer! I don't want a lawyer, and nothing you can say is gonna change my mind! Now move your damn foot!
Jimmy: [takes out photo from pocket] Sir, if you would just... Please, just take a look at my proposal! Okay? Because I think you'll find it pretty persuasive!
Acker: I don't want it.
Jimmy: Just look at it, sir! Just look at it. Look, what do you see?
Acker: [pause] A man... fucking a horse.
Jimmy: Sir, I hate Mesa Verde. I hate them! Looking down at us from their glass tower, they think they can shit on whoever they want! And we just have to smile and say, "Thank you?!" Picture me as the man, and Mesa Verde as the horse. I'm the guy who'll do whatever it takes to stick it to them! [beat; Acker stares at Jimmy]
[Jimmy leaves Acker's house]
Jimmy: [to Kim on the phone] Guess who's got a new client in Tucumcari?
Kim: W–What?
Jimmy: That's right. Put some beers on ice. We'll celebrate when I get back from the hinterlands.
Kim: Yes! That's the best news I've heard all day! How the hell did you convince him?
Jimmy: Uh... Visual aids. You'd be surprised what you can find on that Internet.

Dedicado a Max [5.05][edit]

Rich Schweikart: [to Kim] I'm thinking you could take a break from Mesa Verde.
Kim: A break?
Rich: Actually, a pair of mineral rights beefs just came in. They practically have your name on them. You can split your time between that and your pro bono clients.
Kim: Mesa Verde is my client.
Rich: And they still will be. I'll just step in and take point, just on a temporary basis. And, of course, it goes without saying, this won't affect any of your compensation. And that includes your bonus.
Kim: You know, Mesa Verde is fully informed of any potential conflicts. Kevin signed it off himself.
Rich: Still, I think you're going to need to take a break. [gets up to leave]
Kim: I don't understand where this is coming from.
Rich: Don't you? [pause] Kim... Sometimes the less said the better.
Kim: And why is that?
Rich: Do we have to?
Kim: Yes, we do.
Rich: Alright. First, I had to twist your arm to get you down to Tucumcari for the eviction. Then, you put the full court press on Kevin to change sites. That doesn't work, and–abra-cadabra–your boyfriend's opposing counsel.
Kim: I told you, I explained the situation to Kevin and Paige.
Rich: Yeah, I know you did. And I'm sorry to say... I'm just not buying it.
[Kim waits a moment before leaving her office to publicly confront Rich]
Kim: Rich! Rich, hold on! What are you saying exactly?
Rich: Let's talk in my office.
Kim: You are accusing me of something! Go ahead and say it! Are you talking about malfeasance? Working against my clients' interests? What?
Rich: Please...
Kim: Rich, tell me! You know I worked my ass off to get here. You know that!
Rich: Yes, I do know.
Kim: So, tell me! Please tell me why I would risk everything for some squatter? Why?! I don't understand. Are you–Are you trying to protect the firm? From what?!
Rich: Kim, I am not trying to protect the firm. I am trying to protect you.
Kim: I don't need your protection. I need to represent my client!
Rich: [pause] If that's how you want it.

[Mike receives a visit from Gus at the ranch where he was kept for several days]
Gus: You look much better. I am glad.
Mike: So I'm here... to see what a big heart you have. Is that the idea? You throw money at these people, they bow low.
Gus: As far as the people here are concerned, I am the doctor's friend, and nothing more.
Mike: They have no idea you financed the whole place?
Gus: I prefer it that way.
Mike: The anonymous benefactor. Oh, that must make you feel pretty good. And is that supposed to balance the scales? Make up for everything else you do?
Gus: It makes up for nothing. I am what I am.
Mike: [beat] What is this place?
Gus: Call it... a memorial.
Mike: To what? [pause] I already told you what you can do with your money. You seem like a guy who can take a hint. So what are we doing?
Gus: It seems to me that you are at a crossroads. You can continue as you are... drinking, estranged from your family, brawling with street hoods. We both know how that ends.
Mike: Yeah.
Gus: You have another choice.
Mike: Work for you as a button man.
Gus: I am in a war. I need a soldier.
Mike: So, I'm gonna work for one drug dealer killing other drug dealers. That's your idea of a choice?
Gus: You know better. You have met them. You know what they are.
Mike: Meaning the Salamancas? And you are so very different from them?
Gus: Yes. I am different.
Mike: [pause] Why me?
Gus: Because I believe that you understand.
Mike: Understand what?
Gus: Revenge.

Wexler v. Goodman [5.06][edit]

[Nacho sees Mike during his meeting with Gus, but pretends to not recognize him]
Nacho: You're Michael? The gringo Lalo had a bug up his ass about? If Hector or the Cousins ever find out about this...
Mike: They're not gonna find out.
Gus: Get on with it.
Nacho: Lalo's using his CI connection. He's having Domingo call the DEA to rat out your dealers, times their slinging, locations. Your guys are gonna get swept up.
Gus: [to Victor] Promote low-level dealers, or find new ones. Let them get arrested. Protect our people.
Victor: You got it.
Gus: What else?
Nacho: He talks about a lot of things. Um... Hitting your supply trucks, going after your restaurants, getting your customers sick... Cutting off power, busting open pipes. He's gonna chip away at your business until the bosses down south don't think you're worth the trouble.
Gus: [pause; looks at Mike, who nods] From now on, you report to this man. He needs you, you do not hesitate. Act.
[Later, after Gus and Victor leave, Mike is about to get in his car before he notices Nacho walking up to him]
Mike: I'm guessing there's something you wanna get off your chest.
Nacho: [pause] You know who you're working for, right? The shit that this guy does... They shot me. Left me bleeding out in the desert, all... part of some plan.
Mike: I don't know what to tell you. I warned you.
Nacho: What?
Mike: I warned you, when you started going after Hector Salamanca, there'd be others to worry about. You made a choice. You got in with both eyes open.
Nacho: My father didn't. He's got a gun to my father's head. If I don't do what he says...
Mike: Look. First things first, we take care of Lalo. Then, we'll talk.

[Jimmy presents the commercials for class-action lawsuits against Mesa Verde to the disgust of Kim and her law partners]
Elderly Man: [in the commercial] My bank took my home over a technicality! And I never missed a single payment! It's not right, it's un-American!
Don Wachtell: [in the commercial] Yup!
Jimmy: [in the commercial as Saul Goodman] Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Have you or a family member been wrongfully evicted from your home by Mesa Verde? Then you may be entitled to a large cash settlement. Call 505-503-4455 today!
Kevin: Are you kidding me?!
Paige: None of that is true! It's defamation!
Kevin: That's my father you're making a fool of!
Kim: Jimmy, turn it off! You know you can't do this!
Jimmy: [as another commercial starts] Shh, this is a good one.
Drama Girl: [in the commercial] I went into my bank to withdraw cash for groceries, and I came out with a rash. I–I can't stop itchin', it's everywhere!
Don: [in the commercial] Yup!
Jimmy: [in the commercial as Saul Goodman] Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you or a family member visit a Mesa Verde branch and come into contact with black mold? Then you may be entitled to a large cash settlement.
Paige: There's no way in hell you can legally run these!
Jimmy: Hmm, maybe. But, you know, we'll fight it out after they run in New Mexico, Arizona, Utah, Texas...
Rich: No, no. We will stop it before it ever gets that far.
Jimmy: Some might call that prior restraint. You know what? You could stop us. Some news outlet will pick it up, they'll run for free.
Elderly Woman: [in the commercial] ...to open my safety deposit box, and Mr. [bleep] was standing there with his pants down! Bare genitals!
Don: [in the commercial] Yup!
Kevin: My dad never ever did anything like that!
Paige: None of this is true. This is all fantasy!
Kevin: It doesn't matter. This trash airs, our reputation is in the toilet!!
Kim: It'll never ever get that far.

Kevin: Stop! Stop it!! That's enough of this horseshit! Jesus!
Jimmy: There's lots more. You know, I can leave you this one because I got plenty of copies.
Paige: What do you hope to gain with all of this?! We agreed to Acker's ridiculous demands, and you... don't run this garbage?!
Kim: It's illegal to do that. No lawyer can play one case off another. [to Jimmy] It is unethical and it is blackmail!
Jimmy: She's right. One has absolutely nothing to do with the other. [turns lights on] Which leads me to my next topic. [opens photo book] This is...Olivia Bitsui. She is a photographer; in fact, she took this self-portrait. It's really lovely. [turns page to show a man on a horse] Here's another picture she took fifty-four years ago.
Kim: Kevin, say nothing.
Kevin: Kim, I got this.
Kim: Kevin, I am strongly advising you...
Kevin: I know this picture...
Kim: Kevin!
Kevin: ...my dad bought it fair and square! I have a copy of it hanging in my office at home!
Jimmy: I think we all just heard Mr. Wachtell admit that he owns a copy of Olivia Bitsui's photo. A photo that looks remarkably like the official Mesa Verde logo!
Kevin: That's right. We own it!
Jimmy: You own a copy of the photo, you don't own the rights to it! That's copyright infringement!
Rich: You'll never be able to prove that!
Jimmy: Well, you know what? [walks back to the projection on the wall and holds the photo up to a still of the Mesa Verde logo] Wow. Looks like a mirror image there. So, I think I can convince a judge and probably a jury that Mesa Verde misappropriated Ms. Bitsui's intellectual property. It's not your fault, sins of the father. But... we filed an injunction, so you're gonna have to take down all your horsey logos or throw a big tarp over them til we can get this thing settled. Shouldn't take more than... I don't know, a couple of years? We'll be seeing a lot of each other. Til next time.
[Jimmy whistles as he walks out of the conference room]

Jimmy: Hey, how'd it go? [pause] It was pretty perfect, right?
[Kim says nothing as she takes off her jacket]
Jimmy: [beat] Kim. Kim, look, apologies. Alright? I–I'm sorry... for sandbagging you with the old switcheroo. I... I should've warned you. But you know what? You being angry at me–that worked. You were concerned that Rich was suspicious. Did he say anything?
Kim: No.
Jimmy: Great! See? That anger–real anger–it worked like a protective immunity shield, you know? I mean... Hey, emotion like that, you can't fake it.
Kim: No. You can't.
Jimmy: Yeah, right? So, what did Kevin say?
Kim: Uh... He said he was tired of lawyers...
Jimmy: Wait, do the voice. You gotta do the voice.
Kim: [pause] Kevin is sick of lawyers, wants to be down with all of it. We explained that your agreement is non-binding, but he doesn't care. He's sticking with the handshake.
Jimmy: Boom! There you go! That's a plan cooked and served to juicy perfection. We should celebrate. Really! [Kim walks past Jimmy] We'll go to a steakhouse, get a couple bottles of red wine, some tiramisu. The whole nine yards! [pause] Okay, Kim. Look, I said I was sorry. And again, it worked! No way that Rich or Paige could believe that we were in cahoots, 'cause guess what? We worked! Acker gets to keep his home plus a nice chunk of change, Olivia Bitsui gets reparations for being cheated, and Kevin still gets his call center. Everybody wins!
Kim: You win, Jimmy.
Jimmy: What?!
Kim: You win.
Jimmy: Uh... yeah. But, I mean... Well, we win. Us.
Kim: No. I didn't.
Jimmy: What didn't you get that you wanted?
Kim: I don't trust you.
Jimmy: Why?
Kim: You played me! You made me the sucker! Again!
Jimmy: Again? What... Wait, how could you be the sucker? It was your plan.
Kim: Oh, fuck you, Jimmy! God! I...I–You know what? I can't do this anymore.
Jimmy: Kim, I was just...
Kim: No! You turned you and me versus the bank into you versus me! And it is not just this. It's the same thing over and over again!
Jimmy: No, I kept things from you to protect you! Look, if I got caught, and... God forbid you're questioned under oath, you have plausible deniability!
Kim: Jesus, Jimmy! You can excuse stabbing me in the back by making it about protecting me?! Is that... Is that really supposed to justify everything?!
Jimmy: Okay, Kim. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, alright? It–It'll never happen again.
Kim: That's a lie.
Jimmy: I swear. I swear, it won't!
Kim: Look me in the eye, and tell me it'll never happen again. [pause] You can't. I don't believe you. You don't believe yourself. It is a lie! You lie! I lie! This... has to end! I–I cannot keep living like this!
Jimmy: No, no, no! No, just...
Kim: Jimmy, shut up!
Jimmy: We can fix this!
Kim: Jimmy! You know this has to change! If you don't see it, I don't know what to say because we are at a breaking point!
Jimmy: Oh, God!
Kim: Either we end this now, or...
Jimmy: No!
Kim: Either we end this now, and enjoy the time we had, and go our separate ways, or...
Jimmy: Or what?
Kim: Or we're... We're... I mean... Or maybe... [beat] Maybe we get married?

JMM [5.07][edit]

Lalo: JMM. What's that?
Jimmy: Oh, that's my motto.
Lalo: Oh, yeah?
Jimmy: "Justice Matters Most." [Lalo chuckles] Okay, brass tacks, how solid is this "de Guzman" thing? Because if they find out you're not who they think you are, that could be a little...
Lalo: It's not gonna be a problem.
Jimmy: Great. Um... First up, we're gonna get this murder wrap down to manslaughter. Now, I think that the DA is primed to cut a deal. So I say make them come to us, power move.
Lalo: No.
Jimmy: No?
Lalo: No. No deal.
Jimmy: Here's the thing about going to trial.
Lalo: No, no, no. No trial, no deal.
Jimmy: Okay, sure. It's just... What did you have in mind?
Lalo: You're gonna get me out on bail.
Jimmy: Bail? That's... Well, the thing there–I mean, I don't know how things work south of the border, but here, under these circumstances, it's uh... Well, that's a long shot.
Lalo: ¿Quieres ser amigo de cartel?
Jimmy: I'm sorry. I don't...
Lalo: [pause] You wanna be a friend of the cartel? Time to get yourself a new motto: "Just Make Money."

Jimmy: [to Kim] I have a new client. He's connected. He's a cartel guy from Mexico. Pretty high up. Anyway, he's in for murder, and he wants bail, which... That's impossible. I mean... no way in hell this dude is ever seeing sunshine. But if I could, you know, somehow find a way, uh... He said I'd be a friend of the cartel.
Kim: A friend of the cartel?
Jimmy: [pause] You know what that means. It means money. "Ranch in Montana" kind of money. Like, private jet kind of money. Press conferences, TV news, the works.
Kim: But... do you want to be a friend of the cartel?
Jimmy: No. No, absolutely not. Anyway, it's a moot point, 'cause the guy's the definition of a flight risk, so... I'm gonna put up a fight, alright? Just for show. There's no judge on Earth that's gonna grant him bail. I just... didn't want to tell you, so... I thought I should tell you.
Kim: [pause] You know what?
Jimmy: What?
Kim: I'm glad you did.

Nacho: I'm not telling you shit until we talk about my dad!
Mike: What'd you tell me? And when you say it is not up to you...
Nacho: Listen. You said when Lalo's out of the picture, we'll talk about my father, right? Well, he's out of the picture!
Mike: Stay in place.
Nacho: I'm done! I want out.
Mike: And you want me to square it with Fring?
Nacho: Fring's not all of it. It's the cartel. I disappear, they're gonna go after my father. He's gotta come with me. But no matter what I say with him, it's the cops or nothing.
Mike: The cops won't solve this.
Nacho: [pause] You got a way.
Mike: What are you holding out?
Nacho: Lalo called me from inside. He put me back in charge.
Mike: And?
Nacho: And... He wants me to burn down Los Pollos Hermanos.
Mike: [pause] Then, he's not out of the picture, is he?

Howard: Have you thought anymore about the job?
Jimmy: The job? Yeah, um... I'm still giving it some thought.
Howard: "Giving it some thought?"
Jimmy: Yeah.
Howard: [pause] You know what? Don't bother. It seems I've upset you, so... offer's off the table.
Jimmy: You upset me? How did you upset me?
Howard: You tell me.
Jimmy: [pause; chuckles] This is getting weird, Howard.
Howard: You wanna know what's weird? It's weird to offer a job to a man, and then in return have bowling balls thrown at your car, and prostitutes sent to your business lunch. That's weird.
Jimmy: Are you listening to yourself? I–I don't know what you're into these days, Howard, but... prostitutes and... bowling balls? You sound unhinged.
Howard: [pause] Jimmy, I'm sorry you're in pain.
Jimmy: [scoffs] Sorry. You're sorry? You kill my brother, and you say you're sorry? Let me tell you something. The job offer, it didn't upset me. It amused me. A... big job at the illustrious HHM. A chance to play at the palace! With little old me!
Howard: I...
Jimmy: You have no idea what's going on! You're a teensy, tiny man in a teensy-weensy little bubble!
Howard: Oh, Jimmy...
Jimmy: Oh, don't you fucking, "Oh, Jimmy," me! You look down on me, you pity me! [Howard starts walking away from Jimmy] Walk away. That's right, Howard! You know why I didn't take the job? 'Cause it's too small! I don't care about it! It's nothing to me! It's a bacterium! I travel in worlds you can't even imagine! You can't conceive of what I'm capable of! I'm so far beyond you! I'm like a god in human clothing! Lightning bolts shoot from my fingertips!

Bagman [5.08][edit]

Bad Choice Road [5.09][edit]

Something Unforgivable [5.10][edit]

External links[edit]

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