Better Call Saul (season 3)

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The following is a list of quotes from the third season of Better Call Saul.

Mabel [3.01][edit]

Jimmy: Oh, my God. The Adventures of Mabel. I–I haven't thought about this in forev– You remember this, Chuck?
Chuck: I do. Harry Thurston Peck.
Jimmy: Yeah. Mabel goes into the mountain, and she meets the king of the Brownies and he gives her some kind of super-delicious jelly and– Holy crap, 1912.
Chuck: Yeah. It belonged to Granny Davenport. She wrote her name in it. She was reading that to her schoolkids the year the Titanic went down.
Jimmy: Damn. And Mom read it to me.
Chuck: I read it to you. You don't remember.
Jimmy: Yeah, yeah, I do now that you say it, yeah. What was I? Like, five or six?
Chuck: You had had this weird nightlight that you were so crazy about. It was, uh... It was...
Jimmy: It was Daffy Duck!
Chuck: It was some Daffy Duck ripoff with a weird red mouth–
Jimmy: –Bill. Yeah, the bill. Yeah.
Chuck: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And it used to get so hot we thought it would burn the house down, but you wouldn't let anybody touch it.
Jimmy: Yeah, that's– You got a great memory, Chuck. The red bill and everything. Hey, what was the name of that little girl that lived, uh, three houses up from us? She had, like, a...
Chuck: Jimmy.
Jimmy: ...painful haircut. And she was always in the dirt, always dirty...
Chuck: Jimmy.
Jimmy: ...I liked her. She was al–
Chuck: Jimmy. Don't think I'll ever forget what happened here today. And you will pay.

Kim: So, how's Chuck?
Jimmy: Crisis averted, I guess. I mean, he's back to being the same old Chuck, so...
Kim: Wanna talk about it?
Jimmy: Depends. It may or may not involve that thing you said you never, ever wanted to discuss.
Kim: Okay, then thanks. I gotta get back to it.
Jimmy: How about we call it a day? I'll buy you some dinner.
Kim: You're kidding, right? You realize how far behind I am; not to mention, now I've got eight entire wills to finish up.
Jimmy: What are you talking about? I'll do the wills.
Kim: No, you won't-
Jimmy: 'Course I will... do the wills. They're my clients.
Kim: They're my clients. You and I aren't partners, remember? Once I take these people on, I can't just reassign them to you.
Jimmy: Aw, come on. Why are you getting all, like, legal on me, huh? Who cares?
Kim: Look, I told every single one the situation: that they'd be getting me instead of you. I tried to talk 'em all into coming back another day, six of them left. Maybe you'll get those back. Look, if this is about the money-
Jimmy: It's not about the money. You can keep the money.
Kim: Don't act like I wanted this! Jesus, like I need more on my plate? [Jimmy looks melancholy] Are you mad?
Jimmy: I'm not mad. I'm just, uh... thinking about things. For ten minutes today, Chuck didn't hate me. I forgot what that felt like.

[Chuck plays Jimmy's confession tape for Howard]
Howard: I don't even know where to begin... but yes, I believe you. Your brother is one world-class son of a bitch. No offense. I just really wish you'd told me about these plans of yours before you went out and did it.
Chuck: I know, Howard, and I regret misleading you. It's just that a certain vérité had to be established.
Howard: I'm not talking about the heart attack that you nearly gave me. Chuck, this tape... I'm not sure exactly what it accomplishes. Look, you know evidentiary rules better than I do, but a secretly recorded tape with a problematic chain of evidence? You're gonna have a hell of a time getting that admitted.
Chuck: I agree.
Howard: And if you somehow put it in front of a jury, Jimmy'd call a dozen audio experts, say that voice isn't his, say the tape had been edited.
Chuck: He would, indeed.
Howard: Are you thinking about playing this for Kevin Wachtell at Mesa Verde? Because as much as I would love to, that ship has sailed. We're never getting them back, regardless.
Chuck: Oh, I doubt we could even get in the door over there.
Howard: Chuck, if that tape is useless in a court of law and no help in the court of public opinion, what's the point? Because I can't think of a single use for it!
Chuck: I can.

[Jimmy is confronted in his office by Bauer, the Air Force captain he tricked to shoot his commercial]
Jimmy: Hello hello. It's so good to see you again.
Captain Bauer: I escorted you and your "clients" onto my base. I treated you with hospitality and respect. And I come to find every word out of your mouth is a damn lie.
Jimmy: Captain, please. Why– Sit down, take a load off. Hey, I'll get you a complimentary coffee or a soft drink–
Captain Bauer: And your so-called war hero, Fudge Talbot? No such person, never was.
Jimmy: Granted, some artistic license may have been taken.
Captain Bauer: You entered government property under false pretenses, sir.
Jimmy: Now, whoa, whoa, whoa– I am no expert on your procedures and your protocols and whatnot, so if we failed to cross a T or dot an I, I sincerely apologize for any misunderstanding.
Captain Bauer: No, it's not a misunderstanding!
Jimmy: Step back! Now picture this, okay? What damage was done? Hey. Who was hurt, huh? Who's damaged? The base is still there, right? The B-52 is, I presume, still at–
Captain Bauer: B-29.
Jimmy: Huh?
Captain Bauer: B-29. FIFI is a B-29.
Jimmy: [scoffs]
Captain Bauer: Oh, this is all just one big joke to you, huh?
Jimmy: You don't like the commercial.
Captain Bauer: No, no I don't. But this has nothing with do with the c–
Jimmy: Well, constructive criticism is always welcome.
Captain Bauer: But I just–
Jimmy: But you should realize that most people find it uplifting. Patriotic, even.
Captain Bauer: I–I...
Jimmy: You check your recruiting numbers, though. I think you're gonna see an uptick. And you know what? If it turns out that Fudge wasn't actually in the war–
Captain Bauer: Fudge is not a person. He wasn't in the war.
Jimmy: Well, neither was Tom Cruise. And look at what Top Gun did for you.
Captain Bauer: You lied to me. You lied to my face, and I can't let you get away with it.
Jimmy: I–I think we just– We're just gonna have to agree to disagree. So can we get you that coffee to go, or...
Captain Bauer: No, no! I'm gonna tell you what's happening now. You're gonna take that ad off the air. And if you play that ad one more time, I'm gonna go to the Judge Advocate and we will take you down – trespassing, false representation, stolen valor, the whole nine yards.
Jimmy: Seriously? For eight seconds of a TV commercial?
Captain Bauer: You take that ad down, or there'll be hell to pay. That clear enough for you?
Jimmy: Make me.
Captain Bauer: Yeah?
Jimmy: Yeah.
Captain Bauer: Make you?
Jimmy: Yeah, let's do this! You bring your commander down here and I'll explain to him how you let us on the base, red carpet treatment.
Captain Bauer: B-b-because you lied your way in!
Jimmy: Not how I remember it, and I got witnesses to back me up! Do you like being an Air Force captain, huh? Do you think the United States wants to bring action against an old man in a wheelchair?
Captain Bauer: He was standing on TV! He wasn't even in a wheelchair!
Jimmy: Yeah, well, periodically he is. And when he shows up at court, you better believe he'll be in a wheelchair!
Captain Bauer: Because you're an ambulance-chasing piece of shit, 'cause you're always the same. You're always–
Jimmy: Always on a high horse, always trying to make me feel like I'm...
[Jimmy catches himself. He calms down.]
Jimmy: Look, um... I'm a lawyer, and this is what I do all day, every day. So how about this. I–I won't fly jet planes, you stay out of court. Does that sound good?
Captain Bauer: You know, guys like think you're so damn smart, and you think you don't have to play straight with anybody. The wheel is gonna turn. It always does.
[Jimmy opens his office door for Bauer to leave.]

Witness [3.02][edit]

[Kim and Jimmy interview their first potential secretary: Francesca]
Jimmy: Well, I for one, am not calling it the MVD. DMV all the way.
Kim: What do you think you learned the most, working there?
Francesca: Patience. Diplomacy. You meet all sorts of people down there, and most are really great, really friendly, but you encounter some who are upset, belligerent-
Jimmy: What about old folks? You get your fair share of them?
Francesca: Oh, lots of elderly drivers. After 75, they need to take their test again, so if they don't pass you have to explain why their license isn't being renewed, which is hard for them.
Jimmy: What do you say then? Do you ever... yell at them? I mean, geezers, right? How can you not?
Francesca: ...No. I would never, no.
Jimmy: ...Nor should you, that was a trick question. You passed with flying colors, very good.
Kim: So, Jimmy and I have very different needs. His practice is mostly wills for senior citizens while I'm focused on a single client at the moment, Mesa Verde, with banking regulations that generate a ton of paperwork. So, I'm looking for someone with an eye for organization and detail.
Jimmy: Well, DMV's great for that. Tons of detail in those driver's licenses.
Francesca: We did see hundreds of people every day, and you'd never want to let a mistake slip through on those forms. You'd just have a horrible cascade of problems.
Jimmy: Sounds challenging.
Kim: So, why the law? I mean, why leave the DMV- er, MVD? I have to imagine you'll be giving up a good benefits package.
Francesca: Good healthcare and retirement plans, but there's a bureaucracy to government work that ultimately became too frustrating. I guess- what'd you'd call it, too much red tape? I just wanna be somewhere I can make a difference.
Jimmy: Oh, that's us. We're all about making a difference.
Kim: And I see here both Word and Excel, you're comfortable with?
Francesca: Absolutely-
Jimmy: Excel and Word? Wow. Well, you had me at "old people"! Hey, here's a question: can you start today?
Francesca: I... uh, yes?
Jimmy: Fantastic!
Kim: Now- can you just give us a second, Francesca?
Francesca: Absolutely, I uh... of course.
Kim: Thank you.
[Francesca leaves]
Kim: What are you doing?
Jimmy: What? I like her.
Kim: "Can you start today?" Don't you think we should see more resumes- like, a lot more? She is our first interview! We haven't even checked her references.
Jimmy: So we'll check 'em! Kim, you've been taking forever searching for a paralegal. Now, we need help here.
Kim: Haven't found the right fit.
Jimmy: Yeah, because you're searching for perfection, and perfection is the enemy of perfectly adequate.
Kim: So that's the bar here? Adequate?
Jimmy: She's more than adequate! She worked at the DMV, that's like the fifth circle of hell! Look, she's overqualified; if it doesn't work out, we can fire her. It's no big deal.
Kim: Don't you think someone with actual legal experience would be better?
Jimmy: Look, I've got a commercial airing in eleven minutes, so the phones are gonna be ringing off the hook and I need help. Can we give her a test run, please? I got a good feeling about this! Come on, Kim!

Mike: Alright, this is what you're gonna do: you're gonna go inside, buy a cup of coffee, a meal, whatever and sit in a booth. Sometime in the next 10 to 15 minutes, a guy in an old green Chevy Blazer is gonna pull into that parking lot. He'll take a knapsack and he'll go sit inside. I need you to keep an eye on the knapsack. Let me know what he does with it; does he take anything out of it, does he switch the bag with someone? Does he leave something from the bag inside-
Jimmy: Right, right, right, I got it.
Mike: Green Chevy Blazer, black top.
Jimmy: Yeah, what's in the bag? Is it money? It's gotta be money- drugs, is it drugs? Something else? Well, I'm guessing money. Tell me I'm right.
Mike: He is gonna be here any minute. Now, I need you inside. You gonna do the job or not?
Jimmy: Fine. I'll do the job. You charmed me into it.

[Jimmy sticks his head in the trash bin at Los Pollos Hermanos, believing that a drop guy has left something inside.]
Gus: Can I help you?
[Jimmy, taken by surprise, hurriedly takes off his watch and deliberately drops it in the bin.]
Jimmy: Uh... My watch, uh, clasp is loose–it falls. I tried to reach it.
Gus: Oh, well, I'm sorry. Allow me.
[Gus takes the trash can out of the bin.]
Jimmy: Yeah, they say a nice watch band is as the watch. That's what they get for cheapin' out.
[Gus puts on a latex glove.]
Gus: We'll find it for you.
[Gus sifts through the trash can as Jimmy hovers his shoulder.]
Jimmy: Where the heck is it?
Gus: Oh, don't worry. If it's in here, I'll– Ah, there it is.
[Gus retrieves Jimmy's watch from the trash.]
Gus: Oh. May I clean this for you? We have alcohol wipes.
Jimmy: Uh, no. It's been in worse places. Thank you. That was very nice of you.
[Gus hands Jimmy the watch.]
Gus: No problem. It's my pleasure. Is there anything else I can do for you?
Jimmy: No. Uh, thanks.
Gus: You take care.

[Kim learns about Chuck's tape from Ernesto, and goes to tell Jimmy]
Kim: Give me a dollar.
Jimmy: Give you a dollar?
Kim: Hand me a dollar! Come on!
Jimmy: Okay... all I got's a twenty-
Kim: Fine, whatever. [holds up the dollar] Alright. I'm your lawyer now. If anyone asks me what I know, we have confidentiality.
Jimmy: Why do we need confidentiality?
Kim: Jimmy, what did you say to Chuck?
Jimmy: Oh, here it comes... Howard, right? Did Howard call? [Kim looks away] Relax! No, let me explain, please! Please. Kim, let me set the stage for you, okay? When I went to Chuck's place last week, it was like the inside of a Jiffy Pop wrapper, alright? There was Mylar on the walls. There was Mylar on the ceiling, the ceiling! He thought his brain wasn't working because of the Mesa Verde event and so... I kind of told him that he was right about everything. I had to! He- he- Kim, he was broken. He was a broken man, I couldn't leave him in crazy town like that! So I told him; you know, just to make him feel better. It doesn't matter what he says, it doesn't matter who he tells, because it's my word against his-
Kim: Jimmy, there's a tape.
Jimmy: ...What?
Kim: There is a tape recording of you talking to Chuck.
Jimmy: What do you mean? Who? He- he taped me? How?
Kim: I don't know how, he just did! Okay? Ernie told me.
Jimmy: Ernie told you?
Kim: He said Chuck has a tape recorder, wrapped in a space blanket in his desk drawer. Ernie was putting new batteries in it for Chuck, and the tape rolled for a few seconds and he heard you... your voice saying something about switching 1261 to 1216. So clearly, it was this confession of yours.
Jimmy: ...He taped me.
Kim: Yes, Jimmy... but I'm not sure what he can do with it... legally, anyway. I'm gonna have to do some research. He made that tape for a reason, and now we have to figure out why. [Jimmy seethes] Jimmy?
Jimmy: I gotta get back to it. The lobby's full of clients.
Kim: We'll figure this out.
Jimmy: Yeah. I know.

[Howard visits Chuck's house, where Chuck and a hired private investigator named Dave are waiting for Jimmy to show up and steal the audiotape in which he confessed to doctoring the Mesa Verde documents.]
Chuck: What's up?
Howard: Chuck, this has been going on for eight days now, and really no indication that it's going to work.
Chuck: It will work.
Howard: I think I've been very patient. But the cost of these round-the-clock private investigators is really starting to add up.
Chuck: Howard, this is our duty as officers of the court. We have an ethical obligation to–
Howard: Yes.
Chuck: My brother broke the law. We can't just sit back and do nothing!
Howard: I'm not talking about doing nothing. I just want up our minds, and be open to alternate strategies. Please, meet me halfway here.
Chuck: [sighs] I suppose... I suppose we can limit the investigators to just nighttime hours.
Howard: Nighttime?
Chuck: Yes. Jimmy will most likely break in while he thinks I'm sleeping. I mean, I wouldn't put anything past him. It just makes the most sense he'll try to steal the tape under cover of darkness.
[Jimmy's car can be heard screeching to a halt outside.]
Howard: You really think he's going to do that?
Chuck: I do indeed.
Howard: How can you be so sure?
Chuck: Howard, I know my brother.
[Jimmy begins angrily banging on Chuck's front door. Chuck goes to the door while Howard and Dave hide in an adjoining room.]
Jimmy: Chuck! Chuck! Open the damn door, Chuck! Open the door, dammit! Open it, Chuck!
Chuck: Jimmy, go away.
Jimmy: Open the door! Open it now!
Chuck: I'm not opening the door. I'm not opening the d–
Jimmy: I swear to God, Chuck!
[Jimmy starts kicking the door]
Chuck: Jimmy– Jimmy!
[Jimmy breaks in the door and pursues Chuck to his study.]
Jimmy: You taped me?! You asshole!
Chuck: Jimmy!
Jimmy: You pulled that heartstrings con job on me?! You piece of shit! "Oh, my brain used to work, I'm sick, I don't know what to do!" Asshole! No wonder Rebecca left you! What took her so long?!
[Jimmy reaches Chuck's desk and finds the locked drawer where his audiotape of Jimmy's confession is being kept.]
Jimmy: There it is!
[Jimmy tries and fails to pry the drawer open with a pair of scissors. He spots a poker next to the fireplace.]
Jimmy: Here we go! Here we go! Here we go!
[Jimmy takes the poker and pries open the drawer. He finds the tape player and pulls out the cassette.]
Jimmy: Oh, is this it? Is this it? Is this it? Huh? For this, you destroyed our family? Are you happy now?! For what?! For nothing!
[Jimmy corners Chuck and rips the cassette apart with his bare hands.]
Jimmy: Is that all there is, Chuck? Is that all there–all there is, or did you make copies? Huh, Chuck? Huh?! You tell me or I'll burn this whole goddamn house to the ground!
[Howard and Dave step into the room.]
Howard: Jimmy! Jimmy! That's enough!
[Jimmy, seeing Howard and Dave, deflates and calms down.]
Howard: You need to step away.
Chuck: [shaken] Howard? You were a witness to what happened here?
Howard: I was.
Chuck: [to Dave] And you?
Dave: I'm a witness.
[Long beat as all three men stare in silence at Jimmy, who is now at Chuck's mercy.]

Sunk Costs [3.03][edit]

[Mike kicks the gas cap and answers the ringing cell phone in the middle of a deserted road.]
Mike: Yeah.
Gus: May I assume that you are armed?
Mike: Yes.
Gus: I do not wish to see your gun. And if I don't, I promise you won't see mine. Are we in agreement?
Mike: We are.
Gus: Expect two cars momentarily.
[Mike is approached from two directions by two SUVs. Victor emerges from one car, while Gus Fring and Tyrus Kitt emerge from the other. Mike presents the "DON'T" note to Gus.]
Mike: You care to elaborate?
Gus: It's not in my interests for Hector Salamanca to die... at this time.
Mike: Who is he to you?
Gus: An associate of an associate.
Mike: Hm. How very specific.
Gus: Who is he to you?
Mike: We had a disagreement. He threatened my family. I'm not gonna let that go.
Gus: But you had let it go. You'd taken his money. Your family was no longer in danger. And yet, still, you robbed his truck. Shouldn't that have settled the matter? Most men would have walked away. But instead, you made an attempt on his life. Why?
Gus: I understand that a civilian found the driver after you robbed the truck. Hector murdered this civilian, correct?
Mike: He wasn't in the game.
Gus: I can't allow you to kill Hector. However, I am not completely unsympathetic to your sense of justice. You hurt Hector when you robbed that truck. You hurt his business. His pride... quite effectively. And if you were to hurt him in the same manner again, I would not stand in your way.
Mike: You want me to rob another truck.
Gus: If you feel so inclined.
Mike: I'm done with that.
Gus: Then our business here is finished.
Mike: That's it?
Gus: That's it.
Mike: No more tracker, no more of your minions following me? Just like that?
Gus: Just like that. Of course, I trust that you are done with Hector Salamanca?
[Mike nods.]
Gus: Goodbye, Mr. Ehrmantraut.
[Gus turns to leave.]
Mike: Wait.
[Gus turns back to face Mike.]
Mike: You want his trucks hit because you wanna disrupt his supply line. Hector's your competition.
Gus: Why do you ask?
Mike: Because I'm not done with Hector Salamanca.

[Jimmy is smoking a cigarette, waiting for the police to arrive to arrest him after Chuck's entrapment.]
Chuck: You won't want to hear it, but this is for the best. Please, Jimmy. Whatever you think of me, whatever colorful names you're calling me in your head right now, please understand I'm trying to help you. Here's what's going to happen. The police will arrest you, and I'm sorry, but I will be pressing charges. I told you there would be consequences... but I have to believe that you'll face those consequences and you'll come out the other side a better man. I know it's hard to see right now, but Jimmy, this is an opportunity. That's why I'm doing this, not to punish you. To show you – truly show you – that you have to make a change before it's too late. Before you destroy yourself, or someone else, and I believe you can change. You'll find your path. And when you're ready, I will be there to help you walk that path.
Jimmy: Here's what's gonna happen. One day you're gonna get sick – again. One of your employees is gonna find you curled up in that space blanket, take you to the hospital, hook you up to those machines that beep and whir and hurt. And this time, it will be too much. And you will die there. Alone.

Jimmy: I fucked up. Chuck bamboozled me, again. That tape? He made sure that Ernie heard it, right? 'Cause he knew Ernie, bless him, would tell me about it and I would come over, try to destroy it or steal it or whatever. Howard was there, and a P.I. if you can believe that. Just waiting for me to lose my shit and bust in. Chuck played me like a fiddle, and schmuck that I am, I fell for it. Moron. I'm sorry. I didn't call you, which is stupid, and I'm sorry about that too. But I didn't call you for a reason, okay? 'Cause this is my screw-up. I own it, okay? It's my responsibility to fix it. I know you wanna help, of course you do, 'cause you're wonderful. But you're up to your ears in Mesa Verde, and I can't – I won't – load this onto you too. We have worked too hard to let Chuck's bullshit vendetta threaten everything we're building. I won't allow him to endanger our business, no. I will fix this. Myself, me, Jimmy McGill – okay? You have gotta let me do this on my own.
Kim: Okay.
Jimmy: Thank you.

Jimmy: I got a deal offer from the ADA today.
Kim: And?
Jimmy: It's not what I expected.
Kim: Bad 'not what you expected'?
Jimmy: It's just that–it's different. She's offering me pre-prosecution diversion.
Kim: Seriously? A PPD? That's great, Jimmy!
Jimmy: Best I could hope for, right?
Kim: Right... what does she want you to confess to?
Jimmy: All of it. The felony B and E, misdemeanor petty assault and property damage–I never touched him, but they got assault in there.
Kim: Well, could be worse. As long as they never activate it, it doesn't matter, right? You gonna be able to keep your nose clean for a whole year? Keep Viktor with a K on lockdown?
Jimmy: It's not a problem, Giselle...and if I don't, it's instant jail, right?
Kim: Lucky break. She must not want the hassle of a trial.
Jimmy: Guess so.
Kim: Jimmy. This is good news, and Chuck is gonna be pissed. It's a big check in the pro column.
Jimmy: Actually, the PPD was Chuck's idea.
Kim: ...shit.
Jimmy: Yeah.
Kim: What's his game?
Jimmy: One condition of the PPD is, my written confession is immediately submitted to the New Mexico Bar Association.
Kim: Your written felony confession.
Jimmy: Mmhm. I thought he wanted me in jail; he just wants my law license. [sighs]
Kim: What are you gonna do?
Jimmy: Well, I knew the bar was going to be an issue, right? So, I figured I'd plea the charges down to a couple misdemeanors, get a censure and maybe a little suspension, but...a confession to a felony?
Kim: Grounds for disbarment.
Jimmy: Yeah, and if I take it to trial and I lose, I face the bar anyways–and jail time, most likely. He's got me boxed in.
Kim: You can fight this. The disciplinary board listens to extenuating circumstances–
Jimmy: No, Chuck knows everybody at the bar. Hell, he made half of their careers; it's gonna be him and his cronies versus me. Alone.
Kim: ...Not alone.
Jimmy: Kim.
Kim: Come on, Jimmy. You need me. You can't argue this yourself. You and I both know that, and I'm not gonna let you fight this on your own.
Jimmy: Are you sure?
Kim: Yeah.
Jimmy: 'Cause I don't–why would you–come on. [points to himself] This guy? Seriously?
[After a moment, Kim takes his hand]
Kim: Let's just call it the fallacy of sunk costs... so what now?
Jimmy: Now? Now we take that PPD and we shove it right up Chuck's ass.

Sabrosito [3.04][edit]

[Gus confronts Hector, who is sitting behind Gus's desk in his back office at Los Pollos Hermanos.]
Gus: Don Hector.
Hector: Took you long enough.
[Hector rests his feet on Gus's desk.]
Gus: Don Hector, mine is a cartel business. But it is mine. And it is legitimate. My employees are civilians. Your actions here today have endangered them, my interests, and those of the cartel.
Hector: I am the cartel. And from now on, you are my mule. You are going to bring my product north.
[Hector notices what looks like dog feces stuck at the bottom of his shoe.]
Hector: Mierda.
[Hector takes a pen and picks the feces off on Gus's desk.]
Gus: I understand that your supply line has been compromised, and this is most unfortunate. However, my trucks are already at maximum capacity.
Hector: Make room.
Gus: Don Hector, you must understand that I answer to Juan Bolsa.
Hector: You want to cry to Bolsa, cry to Bolsa. Or hell, Eladio.
Gus: Adding more product will threaten the reliability of the entire operation. May I ask, did Don Eladio approve this?
Hector: I approve this.
[Hector rises from his seat and approaches Gus.]
Hector: You are doing it.
[Hector leaves the office.]

Gus: Excuse me, everyone. Could you all please take a moment and join me out here? Please, come. Come come come.
[Gus's employees gather around him.]
Gus: I would, uh...I would like to apologize to each and every one of you, who yesterday had to endure the behavior of those men. It was unacceptable. Despite the difficult circumstances, you all acquitted yourselves impeccably. That said, if any of you wish to seek counseling due to lingering trauma, speak with me privately and it will be arranged. Also, you will all be receiving twenty-four hours of overtime, as I am sure, in one way or another, each of you brought this incident home with you. Yes, Lyle?
Lyle: Mr. Fring, uh...who were those guys?
Gus: Well, some of you know that many years ago I opened my first Los Pollos Hermanos in Michoacán. Shortly thereafter, those same men showed up. They wanted money. And I-I...I'm ashamed to say that I paid them. You see, in that place, at that time, if I wished to conduct my business, I had no choice. But yesterday...yesterday, they came here. Here. They intimidated my customers. They threatened my employees. And, again, they wanted money. Now my friends, I-I must confess that I almost gave them what they wanted. But then, I thought, "No. No. This is America." Here, the righteous have no reason to fear. Here, those men have no power. And when they saw that I had no fear of them, they ran like the cowards they are, back across the border. They will not return. We will move on from this. My friends, I promise you that together, we will prosper.
[Gus's employees applaud.]

Gus: You sent back the payment we agreed upon.
Mike: What I did, I didn't do for you.
Gus: The man. The one killed for helping the truck driver. If I may make an observation, perhaps you were trying to correct something which cannot be corrected.
Mike: It's not the kind of thing I want to take money for.
Gus: But the fact remains that your actions benefited me more than you can know.
Mike: That's your business. I'm just glad to have Salamanca out of my head.
Gus: Well, perhaps in the future, you will consider working for me.
[Mike considers]
Mike: Could be. That'd depend on the work.
[Gus nods and turns toward his car, then turns back around.]
Gus: Would you care to know why I stopped you from killing Hector?
Mike: Like you said, it wasn't in your interest.
Gus: A bullet to the head would have been far too humane.

Kyra Hay: The confession you've written is adequate, but, frankly, I-I sense a lack of remorse. And I, for one, would like to hear an apology. Charles deserves at least that much.
Jimmy: Uh - Now?
Kyra Hay: Yes, Mr. McGill, now.
Jimmy: Okay. [Clears throat] I was wrong.
Kyra Hay: Mr. McGill, could you at least look your brother in the eye?
Jimmy: Chuck, I'm very sorry. I lost my temper, and I did some things so many things that I regret. I shouldn't have broken down your door. Doesn't matter how I was provoked. I-I shouldn't have done that. There's no excuse for that. Or for the things that I said. I regret it all, all of it more than you can imagine, because 'cause you're my brother, and no one should treat his own brother like that. Not ever.

Chicanery [3.05][edit]

[Jimmy visits Dr. Caldera at his veterinary clinic, holding a goldfish in a plastic bag.]
Dr. Caldera: Jesus, what are you doing, man? There's barely any oxygen in that bag! You're suffocating her!
Jimmy: "Her?"
Dr. Caldera: Yeah, just because you don't see swinging dicks doesn't mean you can't tell a boy fish from a girl fish.
Jimmy: Oh yes, now I can see the lipstick.

[Chuck and Howard visit the courtroom where Jimmy's hearing will be held]
Howard: How are you feeling, Chuck?
Chuck: I'll muddle through.
Howard: Because this is a lot to ask, and if you're not up to it, just throwing this out there: maybe you don't need to testify at all.
Chuck: No, I do. I'm the only person who can adequately explain the context of that tape, otherwise the defense will tear it to shreds.
Howard: It's already a solid case. We have Jimmy's statement from the Pre-Prosecution Diversion, there's my testimony and the private eye's... maybe there's no need to put you through the ringer like this.
Chuck: …This isn't about me, or my health. This is about PR.
Howard: We lost a client. That happened because while you were... incapacitated, your brother accessed documents that should have been secured at HHM. What Jimmy did is unconscionable, yes, but one of my jobs is to safeguard the firm's reputation.
Chuck: This is not the time to worry about how we look! This is about what's right and what's wrong. I'm not going to risk Jimmy getting- what, a year of suspension, maybe two? He deserves disbarment, not some slap on the wrist. No, Howard. There's only one way forward. "Let justice be done, though the heavens fall."

Kim: Did you consider taking [Jimmy] on as an associate?
Howard: We did. Briefly.
Kim: Sounds like you didn't hire him. Why not, with that kind of grit?
Howard: The partners decided it would be best to avoid the appearance of nepotism. We felt hiring Jimmy might damage morale.
Kim: Nepotism, hmm? Your firm is Hamlin, Hamlin & McGill, right? Who's the other Hamlin?
Howard: My father.

[Chuck gives his testimony]
Chuck: I recorded my brother to build a case against him.
Robert Alley: And at the time, would you say you were in full possession of your faculties? All due respect, but you do sound somewhat unhinged on the recording.
Chuck: Yes, I understand, but what you heard was theater, a performance, play-acting. I exaggerated the symptoms of my disease to extract the truth.
Robert Alley: Can we talk about your disease for a moment? I'd like everybody here to be on the same page.
Chuck: Of course. It is sometimes referred to as EHS: electromagnetic hypersensitivity. I describe it as an acute allergy to electromagnetism.
Robert Alley: It's not a common condition, is it?
Chuck: I know it sounds strange, I do, but 30 years ago, no one had heard of peanut allergies.
Robert Alley: But you admit that no one... no doctor has ever diagnosed you?
Chuck: AIDS was not identified properly until 1981. HIV wasn't known as the cause until '83. These things take time to unravel, even for doctors.
Robert Alley: Would you say that your illness affects your ability to think clearly?
Chuck: No. It affects me physically. It causes me great pain; however, I'm perfectly lucid.
Robert Alley: Thank you. Mr. McGill, I have only one more question for you... do you hate your brother?
Chuck: Absolutely not. I love my brother. There's nothing malicious in Jimmy. He has a way of doing the worst things for reasons that seem almost noble... but what I know for sure is that the law is too important to be toyed with. It's mankind's greatest achievement. The rule of law, the idea that no matter who you are, your actions have consequences, and the way my brother treats the law... it breaks my heart. That's why I did what I did - not to hurt him, but to protect something that I hold sacred.

Jimmy: Earlier you talked about other diseases. Physical conditions, you said. So, okay, if you had – I dunno – lung cancer, would you have told Rebecca then?
Chuck: If that had been the case, maybe I might have.
Jimmy: So how is this different?
Male Committee Member: Mr. McGill, move it along.
Jimmy: You don't have to answer that. I wanna get down to brass tacks. I want to be very, very specific here. This illness, what does it feel like? You mentioned it's painful.
Chuck: It is. There's a tightness in my chest, difficulty breathing – and pain, burning pain. Pain spreads everywhere.
Jimmy: Sounds horrible. Does it hurt right now?
Chuck: There's always some discomfort, yes. Electricity is everywhere in the modern world. But I very much appreciate the indulgence of the panel for their accommodation here today. I can handle this fine.
[Jimmy makes a signal to Francesca, who leaves the courtroom.]
Jimmy: Right. So with the lights out, you don't feel them?
Chuck: If the current's not flowing, no.
Jimmy: I'm sorry about the exit signs. I guess they couldn't kill those for you.
Chuck: Well, they're not drawing much current and they're far away.
[Francesca comes back into the courtroom, followed by Huell. They take their seats.]
Jimmy: [sighs]
Chuck: Intensity drops off with distance, per the inverse-square law.
Jimmy: Oh, whoa. Inverse-square? I'm not a physicist. Could you dumb that down a shade for me?
Chuck: The farther away it is, the stronger the source needs to be to have an effect.
Jimmy: Got it, got it. So, if I had a small battery – say, from a watch or something – and I got it close to you, close to your skin, you'd know?
Chuck: I would feel it, yes.
Jimmy: Can you feel more current coming from any particular direction right now? From the back wall, or from over there? Or up through the floor– Can you tell us where the nearest source is, right now?
Chuck: [beat] Jimmy, do you have something in your pocket?
Jimmy: Yes, I do, as a matter of fact.
[Jimmy pulls a cell phone from his breast pocket and places it in front of Chuck.]
Jimmy: My cell phone. From this distance you should feel it, and you don't, do you?
Chairman: Mr. McGill, you were warned to leave your electronics outside.
Chuck: It's all right. It's all right. May I?
[Chuck takes the cell phone and opens the back.]
Chuck: Just as I thought. There's no battery in here. You removed the battery. That's a sorry little trick, isn't it?
Jimmy: Yeah, you got me, Chuck. Dead to rights. I removed the battery.
Robert Alley: Objection.
Chairman: Sustained. Y-you've taken all the leeway you're getting, Mr. McGill. Wrap it up fast.
Chuck: God, Jimmy! Don't you know by now this is real, I feel this? It's a physical response to stimuli. It's not a quirk. What do I have to do to prove it to you?
Jimmy: I don't know, Chuck. Could you reach into your breast pocket and tell me what's there?
Chuck: [scoffs] What now?
[Chuck reaches into his pocket and retrieves the battery to the cell phone. Startled, he drops it on the floor.]
Jimmy: Can you tell the court what that was?
[Jimmy picks up the battery.]
Chuck: A battery...
Robert Alley: Mr. Chairman, please–
[Huell stands up from his seat.]
Jimmy: Do you recognize that man in back? His name is Huell Babineaux, he's on our witness list. You bumped into him in the stairway. He'll testify he planted this fully-charged battery on you over an hour-and-a-half ago.
Huell: Hour and forty-three minutes.
Jimmy: An hour and forty-three minutes. Thank you, Mr. Babineaux. [to Chuck] And you felt nothing.
[Jimmy turns on the cell phone and holds it to Chuck's face.]
Chuck: No, no, no. No no, it's a trick, it has to–
Robert Alley: Enough is enough. I submit that Mr. McGill's mental illness is a non-issue. If he were schizophrenic...
Chuck: Schizo– ?!
Robert Alley: would not take away from the fact that the defendant–
Chuck: I AM NOT CRAZY! [beat] I am not crazy! I know he swapped those numbers, I knew it was 1216! One after Magna Carta, as if I could ever make such a mistake! Never! Never! I just–I just couldn't prove it! He–he–he covered his tracks, he got that idiot at the copy shop to lie for him...
Robert Alley: Mr. McGill, please. You don't have to go into–
Chuck: You think this is something? You think this is bad, this–this chicanery? He's done worse. That billboard! Are you telling me that a man just happens to fall like that? No, he orchestrated it! Jimmy! He defecated through a sunroof, and I saved him! I shouldn't have! I took him into my own firm! What was I thinking? He'll never change. He'll never change! Ever since he was nine, always the same! Couldn't keep his hands out of the cash drawer! "But not our Jimmy! Couldn't be precious Jimmy!" Stealing them blind! And he gets to be a lawyer?! What a sick joke! I should have stopped him when I had the chance! And you, you have to stop him! You–
[Chuck stops when he sees everyone in the courtroom – Jimmy, Kim, Howard, Rebecca, the panel – all staring at him in shock and dismay.]
Chuck: I apologize. I lost my train of thought. Got carried away. Do you have anything else?
Jimmy: No. Nothing further.

Off Brand [3.06][edit]

Hector: So your father, his shop. Where does he get his upholstery?
Nacho: ...From, uh, the distributor.
Hector: And where is the distributor?
Nacho: ...Jalisco.
Hector: Jalisco. Uh, I want a new way to get my stuff over the border, a legitimate business.
Nacho: Right, but the chicken man...
Hector: Temporary. I want a new front, my own.
Nacho: Don Hector, my father is a simple man. He is not in the business.
Hector: You will teach him.
Nacho: Don Hector, please...
Hector: Don't worry about it, I take good care of Poppy. He make good money, a lot more than with his little sewing machine.

[Jimmy plays a videotape of his first commercial using the Saul Goodman moniker.]
Jimmy [in ad]: What's that I see? Albuquerque's next TV star? It's you, small business owner! Struggling to make it in today's fast-paced economy? Thought television advertising was too expensive for you? Well you better think again! You can't afford not to be on TV! Look at you, you're a triple threat: great services, great products, and most of all, that face! You're a star! Wrap it all up in your natural charisma, and bam — you belong on TV! Better watch out for autograph hounds and paparazzi! And it gets better! I can have you on the air tomorrow! Yeah, you heard me right — tomorrow! Better get ready to be famous, Albuquerque! I can make you a TV star for a price you can afford! Call me, Saul Goodman! The world needs to know about you and your business! Call me now!

[Jimmy and Kim finish watching the video of the "Saul Goodman Productions" commercial. Kim is taken aback.]
Jimmy: The guy at the station said he's never seen so many star wipes in a row. It's never been done.
Kim: "Saul Goodman."
Jimmy: Yeah. It's like, "S'all good, man."
Kim: That guy has a lot of energy.
Jimmy: Nah. It's just a name.
Kim: ...Huh.

Expenses [3.07][edit]

["Saul Goodman" split his profits from his ad with his production crew]
Camera Guy: Can we make this easier; just split it four ways?
Jimmy: Split it four- I'll split you four ways! Don't they teach you capitalism in that school of yours?
Camera Guy: I'm just saying we got expenses, man.
Jimmy: You- expenses?! You don't have expenses, I've got expenses! [holds up some bills] You see this? This is the money I've already spent on airtime for that commercial, four hundred forty-five bucks. You know what that means I'm left with?
Drama Girl: One hundred dollars?
Jimmy: One hundred and four dollars and 95 cents for writing, directing, producing, client outreach, sales, transpo, all of it-
Camera Guy: I get it.
Jimmy: Yeah. So let's get you in the editing room and finish this thing, and I don't wanna hear another word about expenses!

Mike: You mind if I ask? I really don't mean to pry, but-
Anita: Let me guess. You have another construction job you need my help on.
Mike: No, but if I do, you'll be the first person I call.
Anita: Okay, ask away.
Mike: You said you kept your husband's uniform. Was he on the job?
Anita: "On the job"? Oh, you mean the police. No, Alan was a Navy man. He was well out of the service when I lost him. I'm sorry, the group has heard my story over and over.
Mike: Well, that's what we're here for.
Anita: Well... Alan loved to hike. We even opened a camping supply store, I helped him with the mail-order side of it, and then... This was eight years ago. He went hiking in Gila National and never came back. They found our car, but they never found him. And I don't know if he slipped and fell or had a heart attack or met someone didn't like the way he looked... I don't know. And even after all these years, not knowing how he passed or where he is? I wish it didn't matter... but it does.

[Kim and Jimmy, drinking at a bar, spot a mark for Viktor and Giselle]
Kim: We are here to meet a celebrity who's donating to my charity.
Jimmy: Kevin Costner. I will go stand in that corner, you point me out - you're meeting Kevin Costner.
Kim: What? You don't look like Kevin Costner.
Jimmy: Uh, I look exactly like Kevin Costner. People are always coming up to me, saying they loved me in Bull Durham.
Kim: No, not once.
[Jimmy suddenly notices a blowhard abusing a waiter]
Jimmy: That guy. How de we get him?
Kim: What do you think? The- the trick with the coin you told me about, or the counterfeit bill-
Jimmy: No. That guy's a real asshole. He needs to go down hard. Here's what we're gonna do: we're gonna sell him a worthless credit card for $5000. Here's what you do: make eye contact with him. It's all it'll take for him to think you're interested. I'll act good and drunk, and he'll... think I'm a loser and try to steal you away. He will persist. Tell him you can't leave me, not yet. Let him know you're trying to roll me. He'll want in. He'll help you ply me with booze. Now, you take my wallet, you lift the card... following this?
Kim: ...We're not actually doing this, right? We're just talking.
Jimmy: ...Yeah. Just talking.
Jimmy: What?
Kim: It's... nothing.
Jimmy: It's not nothing, what?
Kim: I keep thinking... was there another way?
Jimmy: "Another way"? Chuck? Is that what you're talking about? Kim, he had us in a corner, okay? We did what we had to do.
Kim: But Rebecca-
Jimmy: Everything that happened was his own fault. Everything. You put him in the rearview mirror. He is not worth thinking about. Done.

Nacho: Really?
Mike: He called me... for obvious reasons.
Nacho: Look, I'm not here to rip him off. He has the stuff, right?
Mike: I need to know what you're planning.
Nacho: What's it matter to you?
Mike: I know they're for Salamanca. Nitro pills. Your boss has heart problems.
Nacho: You already got it all figured out. Why are you asking?
Mike: How are you going to make the switch?
Nacho: [sighs] Hector keeps the pills in his coat pocket. When he hangs up his coat, I'll make the switch.
Mike: Hm. He goes down, then what?
Nacho: His heart goes out, that's it.
Mike: Lot of eyes on Salamanca. You do this, how are you going to stop them from finding out it was you?
Nacho: Are you trying to tell me not to do this?
Mike: I'm not telling you anything. Just want to make sure you know what you're getting into.
Nacho: I'm not "getting" into anything. I'm in it. I've got no choice. Hector wants to use my dad's business. My dad is a straight-arrow, he won't stand for it, which means he goes to the police, which means... he's a dead man. And that's not happening.
Mike: You get caught, it could get worse.
Nacho: You don't think I know who I'm dealing with?
Mike: No. I don't.
[Mike goes to Nacho's van and takes out the gas cap]
Nacho: What are you doing?
[Mike pries open the gas cap to find nothing inside, then puts it back]
Mike: There are more people than the Salamancas to worry about here. Now, if you manage to pull this off without a bullet to your head, and switch those pills... then switch 'em back.
Nacho: "Switch them back." Why?
Mike: Anyone gets an itch about the medicine not working, they're gonna check those pills. You do this - switch them back.
Nacho: ...So. You gonna let us make this deal?
Mike: You got the money? [Nacho takes an envelope out of his pocket] Good. Now, before we do this, I'm gonna need one more thing from you.
[Mike takes out his notebook and clicks his pen]

[Jimmy makes an appointment at the Santa Rosa Insurance Group to meet with Ms. Valco, a malpractice insurance agent.]
Ms. Valco: Hey there. Come on in.
Jimmy: Yeah, hi. I called quite a few times about an issue I'm trying to address.
Ms. Valco: Do you know your policy number?
Jimmy: No. Can you just look up my name, McGill?
[Ms. Valco types into the computer.]
Ms. Valco: Charles McGill of Hamlin Hamlin McGill?
Jimmy: No, that's my brother. Um, I'm Jimmy. James McGill, solo practitioner.
Ms. Valco: Hmm, there you are. Looks like you're all paid up through the year.
Jimmy: That's sort of the issue. Long story short, through a series of unfortunate events, my license has been suspended.
Ms. Valco: Yes, I see that here.
Jimmy: Right. Well, I was hoping I could get a refund for the time I won't be a lawyer. Now that's only fair, right?
Ms. Valco: I'm sorry, Mr. McGill. It doesn't work like that. We don't refund for unused malpractice insurance.
Jimmy: [sighs] But it's—it's a lot of money, for nothing.
Ms. Valco: I understand it seems that way, but if one of your clients decides they want to bring a suit against you, this continues your coverage.
Jimmy: [snaps his finger] That's the thing. My clients, they love me. And they would never bring a suit against me. I'm extremely lovable.
Ms. Valco: I can see that, but it's company policy.
Jimmy: What about we put the insurance on hold? And then if someone were to try to sue me – which they won't – then we just, uh, kick that old policy back into gear?
Ms. Valco: I understand your situation. I do. But there are rules preventing us from stopping and starting coverage. And I regret to inform you that when your license is reinstated next year, because of the suspension, your premiums are going to go up. Considerably.
Jimmy: How considerably?
Ms. Valco: [pulls open a file drawer] Ummmm... Looks like roughly 150%.
[Jimmy is visibly shocked by this news. He stuggles to contain his emotions. Tears start to well up in his eyes.]
Ms. Valco: Mr. McGill?
[Jimmy exhales and begins to weep.]
Ms. Valco: Oh, I... Mr. McGill, I'm sorry. I wish we could help you, but we just can't.
Jimmy: I'm sorry. It's hard. Very, very hard. I'm just having a rough time. I just need a break. Just one break. I know...I know you can't do anything. I'm getting run out on this community service, and getting ripped off left and right, and my car won't start. My gal is disappointed in me. My brother... my brother is sick. And he's alone. I spent years caring for him, and now he hates me. The only family I got left and he hates me. He hates my guts.
Ms. Valco: Is this your brother Charles?
[Jimmy nods.]
Ms. Valco: Oh...
Jimmy: I pretend not to care, but he's my brother. How can I not? He's mentally ill. He's...he's holed up in a house with no electricity. He's working by the light of gas lanterns, wha—? He's making mistakes with his clients, he's mixing up numbers on important documents, he...he...he had a complete mental breakdown at the bar hearing.
Ms. Valco: Your brother, had a breakdown in court?
Jimmy: It's in the transcripts...
[Jimmy continues sobbing as Ms. Valco reaches for post-it notes and begins writing something down.]
Jimmy: I...I'm really worried. I just... If he screws up with one more big client, I... It's just gonna destroy him. No, don't...don't write. What are you writing? No, don't write...
[Ms. Valco gestures and puts down her pen.]
Jimmy: I...I didn't mean to say that. I don't want him to get in trouble with you guys 'cause of me.
Ms. Valco: Right.
Jimmy: I... Um, sorry. I'm gonna go. You're not gonna do anything, are you?
Ms. Valco: I–I wouldn't worry about it, Mr. McGill. Please feel better.
Jimmy: I'm sorry. Just, um, forget...
[Jimmy leaves Ms. Valco's office. As he walks away, a smirk grows on his face.]

Slip [3.08][edit]

[Jimmy and Marco break into the McGill's abandoned corner store to set up another con during their reunion. Jimmy retrieves a Band-Aid box from the ceiling and empties a pile of rare coins onto the counter]
Jimmy: [picking up a coin] Boom! Indian-head penny! Alright, that's worth about three bucks; we polish it up, run the coin game.
Marco: Nice. We get a hundred fifty bucks, easy.
Jimmy: Hundred and fifty? We got a hundred ten for a plain vanilla half-dollar. This-this is actually rare—I mean, you can see it, y'know! Three hundred, easy.
Marco: Oh, three hundred. Me likey. Now you're gonna tell me what your coin collection was doing up there.
Jimmy: Uh... [huffs] It's a long story. Let's get out of here.
[They freeze as they hear a police car drive by]
Marco: Alright, now let's hit it.
Jimmy: No, there might be another one.
Marco: Alright, then give. What's the deal with the coins?
Jimmy: [chuckles] Well, uh... I was what, 12 or so, and I was working the register. Guy comes in, buys a box of Ivory Flakes and a sixer of Old Style. He pays with a couple bucks and [holds up coin] this. Second I see it, I know what it is: it's a George Washington silver. I tell my dad, "Pop, this quarter is rare, it's worth four bucks." Barely get the words out of my mouth, he hightails it outta here to give it back. He can't find the guy, so he tapes it to the side of the register; he's hoping that this guy will come back, so he can return it! After about a week, he starts talking about giving it to Father Mahoney for the poor box, so I make it disappear. Then after that, every day after school, I'm checking the till. If something catches my eye, I stick it in the box, put it up there for good luck. [clears throat] So much for good luck.
Marco: It's a crying shame they lost this place.
Jimmy: They never should have bought it in the first place. My dad didn't have it in 'im.
Marco: ...What do you mean? Your folks worked so hard.
Jimmy: Yeah, they worked hard; they worked a lot of hours for a lot of years for nothing.
Marco: I dunno, Jimmy. Y'know, a lot of customers, everyone liked him.
Jimmy: Everybody liked him 'cause he was a soft touch. Y'know, every deadbeat in the neighborhood owed him money. You come in here with a sob story, you leave with a pat on the back and a gallon of milk. He could've made it work. He could've sold beer and cigarettes to the kids from Mary Margaret's but... heh, oh no, not him. [sniff] He was never gonna do what he had to do.

Dr. Cruz: Let's talk about the night you first called me. You sounded very distressed.
Chuck: I was.
Dr. Cruz: Using a telephone must've been difficult for you.
Chuck: I had to walk ten blocks to a payphone. That was extremely uncomfortable - probably almost a nine.
Dr. Cruz: What made it so important to talk to me that night?
Chuck: ...I'd had an incident. A very... public incident, perhaps the worst experience of my life. It was proven to me in public, and beyond the shadow of a doubt, that there was a battery—a fully charged battery—almost next to my skin for the better part of two hours... and I felt nothing.
Dr. Cruz: What does that mean to you?
Chuck: This condition... to me, it's as real as that chair, it's as real as this house, it's as real as you. But... what if it's not? What if it's all in my head? And if that's true, if it's not real... then what have I done?

[Kim gives Howard a check during his luncheon. He confronts her at the valet]
Howard: What the hell is this?
Kim: I think it's pretty self-explanatory. [beat] Look, Howard, you were very generous when I left HHM, but it never sat right with me that you covered my law school loans.
Howard: Seemed to sit right at the time!
Kim: I appreciate the gift, but now that I'm able to afford it, I wanna pay you back.
Howard: Well, you "appreciate the gift."
Kim: Yes, I do.
Howard: You know what I'm doing in there? Take a guess. I'm doing damage control, and I'm doing it three meals a day for the past two weeks with every one of our clients! I am busting my ass, trying to repair the reputation of the firm after you and Jimmy dragged it through the mud!
Kim: I did everything in my power to defend my client.
Howard: Oh, is that what you're calling it?
Kim: That's the job, Howard. And by the way–it was all very convenient for you to ignore Chuck's illness when it suited you.
Howard: So I take you out of the mailroom, put you through law school, mentor you, and then when you leave and stab me in the back, that's my fault? I'm not cashing this.
[Howard tears up the check. Kim starts getting into her car]
Howard: Kim! Your debt is forgiven, but anything else? That's on you.
Kim: All Jimmy and I did was show the situation for what it is, and if you are hiding that from your clients? Well, Howard, that's on you.

[At his community service, Jimmy overhears his supervisor turn down someone's request to leave. Jimmy comes up to him]
Jimmy: Hey buddy, you wanna get out of here? How much is it worth to you?
Freddy: What?
Jimmy: To ditch this. How much?
Freddy: Leave me alone, yo.
Jimmy: Come on, you wanna get to your deal, or what?
Freddy: Look, man. I was just trying to see my sick kid.
Jimmy: Heh. You're trying to sell something you shouldn't have to someone who shouldn't be buying it. [Freddy glares at him] Hey, no judgements, alright? A man's gotta make a living. I'm just saying, the way you make yours rhymes with "mug mealer."
Freddy: What are you, a narc?
Jimmy: I'm the guy who's gonna get you outta here and let you keep your hours.
Freddy: Yeah?
Jimmy: Yeah.
Freddy: How you gonna do that?
Jimmy: Let me worry about the how, okay? You just... seven hundred bucks and you're gone.
Freddy: Man, I don't have seven hundred bucks.
Jimmy: Yeah, you got a couple grand in your sock.
Freddy: ...Seven hundred bucks, and you can get me out of here? [Jimmy nods] Alright. You can do it, you've got a deal.
Jimmy: Okay. Go pick up trash, go on.
[Jimmy lies down on the ground and waits for his supervisor]
Supervisor: The hell's this?
Jimmy: Resting. Uh, hurt my back.
Supervisor: ...Get up.
Jimmy: Nope. My back's killing me.
Supervisor: Suit yourself. You're not getting your hours.
Jimmy: I'm pretty sure you're gonna give me my hours.
Supervisor: Oh yeah? How do you figure that?
Jimmy: Because if you don't... I'm gonna sue you.
Supervisor: Hate to break it to you, smart guy, but you signed a waiver.
Jimmy: I signed a waiver with the city, but I'm not suing the city. I'm suing you! Personally!
Supervisor: You can't do that.
Jimmy: Buddy... this is the land of the free and the home of the lawsuit. [gets up] I sure as shootin' can. And you know what? Uh, I think I'll bring [points to Freddy] that guy in with me and make it a class action thing.
Supervisor: What's he got to do with it?
Jimmy: You knowingly prevented him for visiting his child in the hospital. If that isn't intentional infliction of emotional distress, what is?
Supervisor: That's crazy-
Jimmy: Crazy hasn't even started. I can also sue you for failure to approve community service hours. That's a direct violation of your duties as an agent of the state of New Mexico.
Supervisor: I'm only doing my job-
Jimmy: And just for tickles, maybe I throw in failure to treat and mitigate damages suffered by me due to injuries sustained under your watch.
Supervisor: Injury?
Jimmy: My back.
Supervisor: You're full of shit! The waiver clearly-
Jimmy: That waiver's gonna make swiss cheese look solid, and in a personal lawsuit, it's a fart in the wind.
Supervisor: You're never gonna win that.
Jimmy: Maybe, maybe not. In order to find out, we gotta do some math. Let's see: a lawyer's gonna cost you about 90 bucks an hour, you're looking at eight to twelve months of litigation, minimum.
Supervisor: I-I'll represent myself.
Jimmy: Great! Bring it on! You got a car? You got a house, a pension? Kiss it all goodbye! Look, out here you might be King Douchenozzle, but in court, you are little people. Look, the judge and I, we'll gladly spend the next five years in the courtroom, but for you it's expensive. It's very, very expensive, it's third mortgage expensive! So, I'm offering you a simple choice: you can go to your wife, you can explain to her that you're about to lose your job, your pension... whatever pinhole of a reputation you've got at the bowling alley on Glow-Ball Sundays, or let my friend here visit his sick daughter in the hospital and you can let me rest my back on this sacred, now litter-free, New Mexico soil. Oh, and we keep our hours.
Supervisor: [pause] Fine. Asshole. [to Freddy] Well, go on. Get out of here.
Freddy: [to Jimmy] Hey, man, that was some Jedi mind shit right there! [gets cash from his sock] Best seven hundred I done ever spent! Here you go, I'm out.
[Jimmy counts it, then lays back]

[Mike visits Los Pollos Hermanos and talks to Gus in his backroom office.]
Mike: I've got a problem I think you can help me with. I've got cash I can't spend, about $200,000. If anything happens to me, my family will never see it. Now it seems to me, you opened this place to solve a similar problem.
Gus: And you think that solution... could be applied to you?
Mike: As a one time arrangement.
Gus: It would be unwise for us to be publicly associated, wouldn't you agree?
Mike: Because of the Salamancas.
Gus: If they were to take notice, there will be consequences for both of us.
Mike: I'm thinking a paper transaction.
Gus: Even so. Perhaps there is a way: one with a degree more... difficulty, but one I may be able to arrange.
Mike: Would twenty percent overcome this difficulty?
Gus: I would not take money from your family.
[After a beat, Gus stands up and extends his hand. Mike shakes it.]

Fall [3.09][edit]

Mike: This is a very nice office.
Lydia: Thank you.
Mike: You seem to be risking a lot for a drug dealer.
Lydia: "Drug dealer." If that's all you think he is, then you don't know Gustavo Fring.

[Chuck and Howard are in a meeting with their insurance providers]
Chuck: This is ludicrous. The insurance industry is heavily regulated. I can think of a dozen infractions right here off the top of my head!
Insurance Rep: Mr. McGill...
Chuck: You’re hoping we’ll either find another carrier or cut you an enormous check; win-win for you. I assure you, neither is going to happen. What will happen is very simple: you’re going to do right by us, or we will compel you to do so.
Insurance Rep: What do you mean by “compel”?
Chuck: You know exactly what I mean.
Insurance Rep: If you’re threatening litigation, I’m afraid this meeting is over.
Chuck: Then it’s over.
[Howard lets them out and turns off the lights]
Chuck: Alright, where do we begin? Francis should start digging into regulations — I’m sorry, I don’t have the code sections at my fingertips just now. Let’s pull a team of associates and get them looking at every angle of injunctive relief. Before close of business, we’re gonna hit Santa Rosa with a demand letter that’ll make their heads spin, heh! Odds are, inside of a week, they’ll be sitting at the table again, and if not, well... we’ve never shied away from a fight.
Howard: ...Chuck, do you remember Al McConnell?
Chuck: Of course. Hell of a litigator... retired now, isn’t he?
Howard: He’s a professor at UNM now. Wrote a fantastic book on SCOTUS during Reconstruction, fascinating stuff.
Chuck: Okay?
Howard: I was talking to him and he mentioned he’d love you to come speak to his 1Ls, maybe make it a regular thing if you wanted.
Chuck: [snort] What are you talking about, Howard?
Howard: What I’m saying is... maybe it’s time to hang up your spurs. Become partner emeritus. Leave your name on the firm, but focus on your legacy. You always said you wanted to work on the Commerce Clause; you can write the book on it.
Chuck: And no longer be a practicing lawyer.
Howard: Chuck, there’s more to life than this.
Chuck: That day is far in the future, Howard, and I don’t appreciate the suggestion.
Howard: ...What if it’s not a suggestion?
Chuck: Meaning?
Howard: Meaning, if enough people tell you that you’re drunk... maybe it’s time to sit down.
Chuck: You want me to retire over this?! Insurance?!
Howard: It’s not just the insurance, that’s the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Chuck: Oh, so this is about my condition? Look! Look! [turns on the table lamps and picks one up] You see? See? I’m better! Howard, I’m fine!
Howard: ...This is not what “fine” looks like. [Chuck puts the lamp down] Chuck, you’re one of the best legal minds I’ve ever known, hands down, but your decision making has become unpredictable. I can’t be partners with someone whose judgment I don’t trust.
[Chuck storms out]

[Hector and Gus face each other at an industrial location, flanked by their respective henchmen: Victor and Tyrus on Gus' side, and Arturo and Nacho on Hector's side. Hector communicates with Juan Bolsa via a cell phone placed on the table in front of him. The dialogue is in Spanish.]
Hector: What's so important?
Bolsa (over cell phone): Had a conversation with our friend by the pool. He's very pleased with our progress. He feels our consolidated transportation method is working. In fact, it works so well that our friend says this will be the only way, moving forward. Of course, your territory will stay yours forever. But this system has less exposure. Less risk. Everything moves through the Chilean.
Bolsa (over cell phone): Can you hear me?
[Hector gets up and angrily throws the cell phone to the ground.]
Hector: I hear you.
Gus: Don Hector. I never asked for this. I do not want it.
[Hector keels over, on the verge of another coughing fit. Arturo tries to come to his aid.]
Arturo: Don Hector...
[Hector pushes him away and reaches for the vial of pills in his coat pocket, unaware that Nacho has tampered with them. He downs the whole vial, but he seemingly recovers with no ill effect. He turns to Gus.]
Hector: Fuck Eladio, fuck Bolsa, and fuck you.
[Hector, Arturo, and Nacho leave.]

[Nacho is sitting at a table in his father Manuel's kitchen with a glass of milk. His father approaches him. The dialogue is in Spanish.]
Manuel: Ignacio?
Nacho: Hey, Dad.
Manuel: I was falling asleep to the news.
Nacho: Yeah, I know.
Manuel: Are you all right, mijo?
[Manuel sits across from his son]
Nacho: Papa. A man is going to come to your shop. Soon. A bad man.
Manuel: What?
Nacho: He'll want to run the place for a while. And you'll have to let him. Do you understand?
Manuel: And who is this man?
Nacho: ...Hector Salamanca.
Manuel: Salamanca?
Nacho: I've been working for them again. I know what you're thinking. You can scream at me, disown me, never speak to me again. But whatever happens, you must do what he says. I know what you're gonna want to do. But you can't. You can't, Papa. Do what he says, this will blow over in a few weeks. If you don't... I swear. I swear it will be over soon.
Manuel: How can I believe anything you say?
Nacho: Promise me you won't do anything stupid. Promise me, Papa. Please.
Manuel: Get out of my house.
[Nacho quietly gets up, empties the glass of milk into the sink, and leaves.]

Howard: You're suing Hamlin Hamlin McGill?!
Chuck: Come on in, Howard.
[Howard steps into Chuck's kitchen while he's cooking. He notices that Chuck has restored the electricity.]
Howard: You turned the lights on?
Chuck: I told you, I'm back to normal. And yes, I am suing HHM for breach of contract.
Howard: Do you have any idea what you're doing?
Chuck: I believe I do. I'm calling your bluff. This is my firm – I built it. Your father was working in a two-room office when I joined him. And you, I tutored for the bar exam. You're not kicking me out. If you can't trust my judgment as you say, so be it. But you're gonna have to pay me for my share. I believe it comes to around $8 million. We both know the firm doesn't have the money.
Howard: You'd rather tear down HHM than retire?
Chuck: You think I'm trouble now, as your partner? Imagine me as your enemy.
Howard: Chuck. The damage that you're going to do...
Chuck: If you'd like to discuss this further, we can in court. Until then... [shrugs] ...what else is there to say?

Lantern [3.10][edit]

Chuck: Lawsuits. Threats. Recriminations. This is a situation no law firm wants to be in. It's– Well, it's embarrassing. I know we all want a swift resolution here... so, what are our options? Take it to trial? Expensive, and extremely damaging to HHM's reputation - not my first choice. Or yours, I imagine. The firm could choose to buy me out... for an amount that is almost certain to bankrupt it. I spent decades building this firm. I don't want to be the agent of its destruction. There is a third option; there's no reason we can't put all this unpleasantness behind us and continue on as we have been. I'm willing to let bygones be bygones, and if you agree... I think we can settle all this right now with a simple handshake.
[Chuck holds out his hand to Howard]
Howard: Would you all give us the room for a moment?
[HHM's partners exit the boardroom]
Howard: Seventeen years. Eighteen in July, actually. All those years we built this place together. And all that time I've supported you. Looked up to you, deferred to you. Because I always thought you had the best interests of the firm in mind.
Chuck: I have!
Howard: Mnh. You did. For a long time. But you've let personal vendettas turn your focus away from what's best for HHM. You've put your needs first. To our detriment.
Chuck: I don't think that's accurate.
Howard: And the moment that I mildly suggest, with empathy and concern, that maybe it's time for you to consider retirement... the first instinct you have is to sue me?! To sue the firm? Well, I... I-I don't even know. I-In what world is that anything but the deepest betrayal of everything we worked so hard to accomplish? In what world is that anything but the deepest betrayal of our friendship?
Chuck: Howard, I could argue that you're the one who betrayed me–
Howard: That's bullshit. And you know it. This is pointless.
[Howard hands Chuck an envelope]
Howard: Here. Just take this.
Chuck: $3 million?
Howard: The first of three payments, as per the partnership agreement.
Chuck: The firm can't afford this. Are you– You're not shutting down, are you?
Howard: I would never endanger the firm. This is mostly from my personal funds. And a few loans.
Chuck: [astonished] You're paying me out of your own pocket.
Howard: You won.

Kim: I could've killed someone, Jimmy.
Jimmy: Yeah, yourself.
Kim: I worked most of last week on maybe six hours of sleep, and then I... I crossed three lanes of traffic and I don't remember any of it.
Jimmy: Look, you were just doing what you thought you had to do... because of me.
Kim: You didn't make me get in that car. That was all me. I'm an adult, I made a choice.
Jimmy: Hey. All I can say is... I am gonna fix things.

[Jimmy is stunned to see working electrical appliances in Chuck's house]
Jimmy: How...?
Chuck: I always told you I'd get better. You just never believed me.
Jimmy: Sure I did. [pause] But Chuck...this is great! How did you do it?
Chuck: What was it you wanted, beyond proof of life?
Jimmy: Oh. Uh, s-something happened, and it made me think about what–what went down between you and me. And so I wanted to say in hindsight, I could have made different choices.
Chuck: Is that so?
Jimmy: Yeah. I mean, I'm not saying it's all on me. It's not. But if I had to do it all over again, I would maybe do some things differently. I just thought you should know that.
Chuck: That you have regrets.
Jimmy: Yeah. I have regrets.
Chuck: ...Why?
Jimmy: Why? Because you're my brother. There aren't that many of us McGills left and, uh, I think we should stick together.
Chuck: No, why have regrets at all? What's the point?
Jimmy: What do you mean?
Chuck: Well, look at you. You're in so much pain. Why are you putting yourself through all this?
Jimmy: Because I wanted to tell you—
Chuck: That you have regrets. And I'm telling you, don't bother. What's the point? You're just going to keep hurting people.
Jimmy: That's not true—
Chuck: Jimmy, this is what you do. You hurt people over and over and over, and then there's this show of remorse.
Jimmy: It's not a show.
Chuck: I know you don't think it's a show. I don't doubt that your emotions are real. But what's the point of all the sad faces and the gnashing of teeth? If you're not going to change your behavior, and you won't...
Jimmy: I can change—
Chuck: ...why not just skip the whole exercise? In the end, you're going to hurt everyone around you. You can't help it. So stop apologizing and accept it, embrace it. Frankly, I'd have more respect for you if you did.
Jimmy: What about you, Chuck? Hm? You didn't do anything wrong? You're just an innocent victim?
Chuck: Let me put your mind at ease, Jimmy. You don't have to make up with me. We don't have to understand each other. Things are fine the way they are. Hey...
[Chuck puts his hands around Jimmy's shoulders.]
Chuck: ...I don't want to hurt your feelings. But the truth is, you've never mattered all that much to me.

[Hector, Nacho, Arturo, Gus, and Juan Bolsa confront each other in the lot of the upholstery shop belonging to Nacho's father.]
Bolsa: Don Hector. Don Eladio wanted me to speak with you face-to-face so there's no misunderstanding. From now on, there will be only one route over the border for our product: the chicken trucks. And that is final. But you must understand, this is for efficiency only. There's no disrespect to you or your family.
Hector: [gestures to Gus] What's he doing here?
Bolsa: The boss wants you to settle this.
Hector: I settle it right now, okay?
Bolsa: [sighs] You have to work together. It's what the boss wants.
Hector: The boss can suck me!
Bolsa: I'd watch what I say if I were you.
Hector: Who you think you are? You should be kissing my ass right now! Me and my family, we built this whole business!
Bolsa: We all did, together.
Hector: No, no! Salamanca did! Salamanca money! Salamanca blood!
Bolsa: You have to calm down.
Hector: That hacienda, I pay for it! And you treat us like dogs!
Bolsa: Hector, this isn't personal!
Hector: It is! It is personal–
[Hector begins having a heart attack. He tries to take his pills, not knowing that Nacho spiked them. He falls over and loses consciousness.]

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