Big Daddy is a 1999 film starring Adam Sandler as Sonny Koufax, a lazy bachelor who has never any real responsibilites in life. When a 5-year-old boy named Julian (who turns out to be his friend Kevin's son) shows up on his doorstep, Sonny takes him in until Kevin gets back from a business trip in China. He and Julian eventually form a strong bond, but Sonny soon gets in trouble when Social Services finds out he's not really Kevin. In the end, Kevin comes forward as the real father and tells the court he's not pressing charges. Sonny takes him to the park to meet Kevin and Sonny and Julian remain good friends.
- [about two gay friends] What's the big deal? They're the same guys — they just watch a different kind of porno now.
- Vanessa, you're a HOOTER'S girl?
- Having a son is great... As long as his eyes are closed, and he's not moving or talking.
- The boy just won't quit peeing and throwing up. He's like a cocker spaniel!
- [drops a can in a supermarket] Dented cans are half-price. Microsoft went down 3 points. We gotta save some money.
- Cashier: Hi, welcome to McDonald's. What can I get for you?
- Sonny: What do you want?
- Julian: Cheerios.
- Sonny: Cheerios, they don't got Cheerios, what else?
- Julian: Lasagna.
- Sonny: Lasagna? What the hell's the matter with you? We'll take hotcakes and sausage.
- Cashier: Sorry, sir. We stopped serving breakfast.
- Sonny: [looks at the clock on the wall] What are you talking about? We're 4 seconds late.
- Cashier: No, you're 30 minutes and 4 seconds late. We stop serving breakfast at 10:30.
- Sonny: AW, HORSESHIT! [Julian starts crying] No, no. Don't cry, I wasn't cursing at you. I was cursing at the lady.
- Customer: Nice parenting.
- Sonny: Hey, thanks. Are you my therapist? [throws the man's fries] Take a walk! [to Julian] Do you want a Happy Meal? Can I get you one of those Happy Meals? You got a Happy Meal? Can we get a Happy Meal? WILL SOMEBODY GET THE KID A HAPPY MEAL?!
- [later, Sonny and Julian leave McDonald's; they meet up with the homeless man again]
- Homeless Man: Hey, man, where's my Egg McMuffin?
- Sonny: Breakfast is over at 10:30.
- Homeless Man: Really?
- Sonny: Yeah.
- Homeless Man: I thought it was 11:00.
- Sonny: I thought that too.
- Homeless Man: Total mind blower.
- [Julian hands Sonny a video cassette]
- Sonny: What's this?
- Julian: The Kangaroo Song.
- Sonny: All right. Great. That's terrific. And we're gonna watch this after the game, okay?
- Julian: But after my nap, I always watch The Kangaroo Song.
- Sonny: It's overtime right now, and there's a penalty shot about to take place. This happens, like, once every 10 years.
- Julian: Kangaroo Song. Kangaroo Song. Kangaroo Song! KANGAROO SONG!
- Sonny: ALL RIGHT!!! God! You were normal yesterday!
- Waitress: What are you doing in here, cutie?
- Julian: Watching football.
- Waitress: Who do you want to win?
- Julian: The god damn Jets.
- Waitress: [laughs] Have fun.
- Nature called. Look who answered.
- Once you adopt a kid, you've got to keep him.
- Adam Sandler as Sonny Koufax
- Dylan and Cole Sprouse as Julian McGrath
- Joey Lauren Adams as Layla Maloney
- Jon Stewart as Kevin Gerrity
- Leslie Mann as Corinne Maloney