- There are two things for Brother Harris this week. The bad thing is, he has to cover me. The good is he can save 15 percent by switching his auto insurance to Geico.
- On the highway, I hit a deer. I kept him. He's at home in the garage on the rafters. I'm going to use him for the celebration this weekend. He's a prop. They might suspend me for the last game, but I think this one is worth it. This is going to be the greatest celebration of all time, man. I actually use an animal.
- If you're going to do it, do it very cautiously. If you're going to ride a bike, ride it the right way. Don't speed. Do it for enjoyment. If you're going to bungee jump, have two cords in case one snaps. I don't ride anything. I just talk trash. That's it.
- (After kicking an extra point in a Bengals preseason game) Esteban' Ochocinco is back, the most interesting footballer in the world. Everyone has to remember, I've always said that soccer is my No. 1 sport. I think Ronaldinho would be proud of me right now.