Charlie the Unicorn

Charlie the Unicorn is a series of videos on Youtube that has achieved cult status.

Charlie the Unicorn 1

• (Set in a meadow during a sunny day as Charlie the Unicorn is asleep on the ground. Pink and Blue unicorns approach him)

BLUE UNICORN

Hey, Charlie. Hey Charlie, wake up!

PINK UNICORN

Yeah Charlie. You silly sleepy-head, wake up.

(Charlie wakes up and looks at the two)

CHARLIE THE UNICORN {Groans}

Oh God, you guys, this had better be pretty freaking important. Is the meadow on fire?

BLUE UNICORN

No Charlie. We found a map, to Candy Mountain. Candy Mountain, Charlie.

PINK UNICORN

Yeah, Charlie, we're going to Candy Mountain. Come with us, Charlie.

BLUE UNICORN

Yeah Charlie, it'll be an adventure. We're going on an adventure, Charlie.

CHARLIE THE UNICORN

Yeah, Candy Mountain, right. I'm just gonna, you know, (puts his head down and closes his eyes) go back to sleep now.

(Blue unicorn flips onto Charlie's back and starts bouncing on him)

BLUE UNICORN {Jumping onto Charlie's back}

Noooo, Charlie. You have to come with us to Candy Mountain.

PINK UNICORN

Yeah, Charlie, Candy Mountain. It's a land of sweets and joy...and joyness.

CHARLIE THE UNICORN

Please stop bouncing on me.

BLUE UNICORN {Still jumping up and down on Charlie}

Candy Mountain Charlie.

PINK UNICORN

Yeah! Candy Mountain!

CHARLIE THE UNICORN

Alright, fine! I'll come with you to Candy Mountain.

{Cuts to a forest scene as they all walk through a meadow}

BLUE AND PINK UNICORNS {Singing}

Lalalala, lalalala, lalalala, {continued}

CHARLIE THE UNICORN

Gah, enough with the singing already.

BLUE UNICORN

Our first stop is over there, Charlie.

{The trio stops by a large dark-greenish creature}

CHARLIE THE UNICORN

Oh God, what is that?

BLUE UNICORN

It's a Liopleurodon, Charlie.

PINK UNICORN

A magical Liopleurodon.

BLUE UNICORN

It's gonna guide our way to Candy Mountain.

CHARLIE UNICORN

Alright, guys, you do know that there is no actual Candy Mountain, right?

BLUE UNICORN

Shun the non-believer.

PINK UNICORN

Shhhunnn.

BLUE UNICORN

Shhhhhuunnnnnnn-naa

CHARLIE THE UNICORN

Yeah.

{The Liopleurodon groans}

BLUE UNICORN

It has spoken.

PINK UNICORN

It's told us the waaaaay.

CHARLIE THE UNICORN

It didn't say anything!

(cuts to the three unicorns in a bridge)

BLUE UNICORN

It's just over this bridge, Charlie.

PINK UNICORN

This magical bridge of hope and wonder.

CHARLIE THE UNICORN

Is anyone else getting, like, covered in splinters? Seriously, you guys, we shouldn't be on this thing.

BLUE UNICORN

Charlie... Charlie~... Charlie~... Cha~~

CHARLIE THE UNICORN

I'M RIGHT HERE! WHAT DO YOU WANT?!

BLUE UNICORN

We're on a bridge, Charlie.

{Cuts to the trio approaching Candy Mountain}

PINK UNICORN

We're here.

CHARLIE THE UNICORN

Well, what do you know? There actually is a Candy Mountain.

BLUE UNICORN {Dancing and singing}

Candy Mountain, Candy Mountain, you fill me with sweet sugary goodness.

PINK UNICORN

Go inside the Candy Mountain cave, Charlie.

BLUE UNICORN

Yeah, Charlie, go inside the cave. Magical wonders that behold when you enter.

CHARLIE THE UNICORN

Yeah, uh, thanks, but no thanks. I'm gonna stay out here.

PINK UNICORN

But you have to enter the Candy Mountain candy cave, Charlie.

{Five letters (C, A, N, D, and Y) appear from Candy Mountain and sing and dance.}

Y

Oh, when you're down and looking for some cheering up,

Then just head right on up to the Candy Mountain cave.

When you get inside you'll find yourself a cheery land, Such a happy and joyful and perky merry land. They got lollipops and gummy drops and candy things, Oh so many things that will brighten up your day. It's impossible to wear a frown in Candy Town,

It's the mecca of love in the candy cave.

(the letters and the pink and blue unicorn start floating)

Y

They got jellybeans and coconuts with little hats,

Candy rats, chocolate bats, it's a wonderland of sweets. Ride the candy train to town and hear the candy band,

Candy bells, it's a treat as they march across the land.

Cherry ribbons stream across the sky into the ground, Turn around, it astounds, it's the dancing candy tree.

In the candy cave imagination runs so free, So, now, Charlie, please will you go into the cave?

{The five letters collide and burst into flames} {BOOOM}

CHARLIE THE UNICORN

All right, fine, I'll go into the candy cave. This had better be good.

{enters Candy Mountain}

BLUE AND PINK UNICORNS {voices only}

YaAaAaAaAah...

BLUE UNICORN

Goodbye, Charlie.

PINK UNICORN

Yeah, goodbye, Charlie.

CHARLIE THE UNICORN

Goodbye? What?

{The entry of the cave is shut and the cave is submerged in complete darkness}

CHARLIE THE UNICORN

Hey, what's going on here? Hello? Who is that?

{Muffled sounds are heard to indicate that Charlie is being knocked out}

{Cuts to scene of a meadow where Charlie lies on the ground with an incision on his side}

CHARLIE THE UNICORN

Oh, no, what happened? {notices the cut} Oh, they took my freaking kidney!

Charlie the Unicorn 2

• (Charlie is seen watching television with his stuff. The pink and blue unicorns are floating above Charlie, wearing scuba goggles, flippers, and air tanks with snorkels, pretending to swim)

Blue

Glub-glub, glub-glub, glub-glub, glub-glub, glub

Blue

Look over there! It's a coral reef!

Charlie

Oh look, it's you guys... and you're floating.

Blue

Charlie, we're scuba diving, Charlie.

Pink

We're exploring the depths of the ocean blue.

Blue

Oh no! Here comes a school of poisonous fugu fish!

Pink

Nooo! Fugu!

Charlie

Ah, you gotta watch out for those. So, uh... go away. I'm watching TV.

(A blue vortex appears on Charlie's back)

Blue

The vortex is open!

Charlie

Oh god. Okay, what is this?!

Blue

Charlie! We’re being pulled into the vortex!

Pink

Swim away, fugu fish, swim away!

Charlie

Come on now. YOU GUYS ARE FREAKING ME OUT! Turn this thing off!

Blue

There's no stopping the vortex, Charlie!

Pink

Fuuuguuuu!

(Pink and Blue disappear, along with the vortex)

Charlie

Guys? Guuuys? Or girls... I'm, I'm really not sure what you two are.

(The vortex appears with Blue's head sticking out)

Blue

Charlie! Charlie, I have the amulet.

Charlie

What amulet?! What's going on?!

Blue

The amulet, Charlie! The magical amulet. Sparkles sparkles!

(Pink appears briefly)

Pink

Sp! Sparkle!

Charlie

I, I don't understand what you're talking about!

Blue

The amulet... Nyeh! Nyeh!!!

(Blue disappears. Both Pink and Blue pop out of the vortex, which disappears. Blue has the amulet around its neck. Their scuba outfits are gone.)

Blue

We did it!

Pink

We got the amulet!

Charlie

Great. Now go away! I'm tired of the horrible things that happen when you're around!

Blue

No, Charlie!

Pink

No!

(Pink and Blue puff up while screaming "No", then turn back to normal)

Blue

We have to take the amulet to the Banana King.

Charlie

Oh, yes, The Banana King, of course. ABSOLUTELY NOT!

Pink

He, he's counting on us, Charlie! (Pink starts floating) ah...

Blue

If we don't give the amulet to the Banana King, the vortex will open and let out a thousand years of darkness.

Pink

No! Darkness! (Pink is floating in the air)

(The vortex appears again with tentacles sticking out. Roaring is heard.)

Charlie

Ah! All right, fine! I'll go! I'll go!

Pink and Blue

Yay! (Just Pink) Darkness!

(Cut to the three walking through the woods. Pink and Blue are making tongue-blooping sounds)

Charlie

What are you two doing?

(Silence. Pink and Blue continue with their tongue-blooping)

Charlie

Stop that.

(Silence. Then Blue makes one last tongue-bloop)

(The three stop in front of a big Letter Z)

Charlie

Oh, look at that.

Pink and Blue

Z!!!

Blue

¡El hombre con el sombrero nos envió! (The man with the hat sent us!)

Pink

¡Él nos cuenta muchas historias asombrosas! (He told us many amazing stories!)

(The Letter Z makes pinging sounds)

Pink and Blue

Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho!

Charlie

What?

Pink

¡Cenemos en tortugas esta noche! (Tonight we dine on turtles!)

Blue

¡Se ven buenos, elos, Z! (They look good, do they, Z!)

(The Letter Z shoots a laser at Charlie)

Charlie

Ahh! What did you two do?!

Pink and Blue

Z!!!

Blue

¡Soy félez! (I'm happy!)

(The Letter Z, again, makes pinging sounds)

Pink and Blue

Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho!

(The pink and blue unicorn walk on; the Z turns red)

Charlie

(mumbled) Just keep walking, Charlie, keep walking...

(The three stop in front of a giant sneaker)

Blue

Hop on board the train, Charlie.

Pink

It's gonna take us to the Banana King.

Charlie

I don't see any train. All I see is a giant sneaker.

Blue

It's the Choo Choo Shoe, Charlie.

Pink

The Choo Choo Shoe!

Blue

Hurry, Charlie. It's about to leave.

(Pink and Blue get in the sneaker)

Pink and Blue

Chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga shoe shoooooe! Chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga shooe shoooooe!

Charlie

Yeah, uh I forgot my boarding pass. I'll just walk.

(Cut to the three in front of a banana-themed temple emblazoned with the words EX ORIENTE LUX BANANA, which is probably meant to be bad Latin for "From the east, the light of a banana")

Pink

We're here, Charlie!

Blue

The Temple of the Banana King!

Charlie

Great. Let's leave the amulet and go home.

(A green slug-like creature resembling Santa Claus pops out of nowhere, smiling. According to filmcow.com, the creature's name is Frogrus. He is known to be the Banana King's servant)

Charlie

Who is that?

(Silence)

Charlie

No, no really. You guys see it, right?

(Silence)

Charlie

I gotta be honest. I'm getting creeped out here. Somebody say something!

(Frogrus suddenly starts to sing)

Frogrus

Charlie, you look quite down with your big fat eyes and your big fat frown. The world doesn't have to be so grey.

(the background changes from outside the banana kings temple to outer space with a disco floor with a blue circle behind them)

Frogrus

Charlie, when your life's a mess, when you're feeling blue, always in distress, I know what can wash that sad away. All you have to do is... put a banana in your ear!

Charlie

A banana in my ear?

Frogrus

Put a ripe banana right into your favorite ear! It's true.

Charlie

Says who?

Frogrus

So true. Once it's in your gloom will disappear. The bad in the world is hard to hear, when in your ear a banana cheers. So go and put a banana in your ear!

(zooms out to see a chorus of huge bananas in the background and Blue unicorn floating on the left and Pink unicorn on the right)

Frogrus and Bananas

Put a banana in your ear!

Charlie

I'd rather keep my ear clear.

Frogrus and Bananas

You'll ne'er be happy if you live your life in fear. It's true.

Charlie

Says you.

Frogrus and Bananas

So true. When it's in the skies are bright and clear. Oh every day of every year. The sun shines bright on this big blue sphere. So go and put a banana-

Frogrus

-in your earrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

(Frogrus disappears in flames)

Charlie

Oh, of course, he burst into flames.

Blue

Go forth, magical amulet! Return to the Banana King!

(The amulet goes forth from around Blue's neck, floats into the air, and shines a beam of light at Charlie)

Blue

Charlie! You're the Banana King!

(Charlie is floating to the amulet from the beam of light)

Charlie

What? Hey, hey, hold on a minute!

(A banana appears on Charlie's back)

Banana

You're the Banana King, Charlie!

Charlie

No! I'm not! That doesn't even make sense!

Blue

All hail the Banana King!

Charlie

I'm not the Banana King!

Blue

You are the Banana King!

Charlie

No, no! I... I...

(Suddenly, more bananas appear on Charlie's back)

Bananas

Banana! Banana! Banana! Banana! Banana!

(A crown plops on Charlie's head)

Charlie

I... I am the Banana King!

Pink and Blue

Yay!

Banana

You are the Banana King!

Charlie

I'm the Banana King! Yeah!

(Charlie notices that Pink and Blue have disappeared)

Charlie

Heh, hey... Where'd you go? Guys? Hello? Get me down from here!

(The beam of light disappears, causing Charlie and the amulet to fall on the ground, and the crown falls off of Charlie's head)

Charlie

Augh! Okay, that's a sprain.

(Cut to Charlie walking through the woods alone)

Charlie

Hello? Hellooo?! Guys, where are you?

(Charlie sees that his TV and the rest of his stuff is gone)

Charlie

Argh! You gotta be... Great! They robbed me!

(Suddenly, the vortex from earlier appears, with Blue's head sticking out)

Charlie

Ahh!

Blue

Charlie!

Charlie

What?! What do you want?!

(Silence)

Blue

(Tongue-bloop noise from earlier. Blue then disappears back into the Vortex.)

(Music plays and the credits begin to roll)

Charlie the Unicorn 3

(Charlie is walking alone in a forest)

(Echoey voice resembling Blue/Pink's)

Charlieeee.

Charlie

Hello? Is someone there?

(Echoey voice)

Charlieeee.

Charlie

What? What do you want?

(silence)

Charlie

(grunts)

Pink and Blue

(materialize in a flash of light, wearing sunglasses and futuristic-looking things around their necks) Charlie!

Charlie

Gah! Ah! Give me a heart attack, that's fine!

Blue

We're from the future, Charlie!

Charlie

Oh, I bet.

Pink

The world is in perillll.

Blue

All that is good has been consumed by evil!

Pink

(Pink's eye begins to glow) The end is nigh! Nighhh!

(Pink and Blue disappear into a smoky grey cloud, where several copies of Blue and Pink's heads in various sizes emerge then disappear back into the cloud)

Charlie

Yep, so THAT was the scariest thing I've ever seen.

Blue

Come with us to the future!

Pink

We need your help to finish our snowman!

Charlie

Snowman? What are you going on about?

Blue

There's no time to explain!

Pink

Grab onto our tongues!

Charlie

How do I-

Blue and Pink

Blehhh!

(Blue and Pink's tongues shoot out of their mouths and drape themselves on Charlie)

Charlie

Ohhhh that is so gross!

(the three disappear in a flash of white light, then reappear in a similar flash exactly where they were before)

(Blue and Pink's Future Costumes have disappeared)

Blue

Charlie, we're here!

Pink

In the futureee! (blows party horn)

Charlie

This looks exactly the same!

Blue

Shhhh, you'll wake the Umu.

Charlie

(blinks) Umu?

Pink

We need to get to the river.

Blue

And we gotta be sneaky.

(Blue and Pink start floating in the air, and bending their legs like they're made of rubber)

Pink

We gotta be sneaky, Charlie, sssneaky.

Charlie

Yeah, there's no way I can do that with my legs.

Pink

Oh no! Listen!

Blue

The Umu has awoken! Run!

Charlie

What are you- I don't hear anything!

Blue

Hurry! Look out for the Yomyoms!

Pink

They're everywherrrrrrre!

Charlie

What am I missing here?

Blue

Narshlogs! Coming in from above!

Pink

Evasive maneuvers! (Starts to float away) Neh! Nyehhh!

Blue

Charlie! Look out for the Bleh-bleh-bleh!

Charlie

(groans) Can I go home yet?

(Cuts to a river with a large duck-shaped boat which Pink and Blue are already on)

Pink

Charlie, get on the duck!

Blue

The Bleh-bleh-bleh are right behind us!

Charlie

I think I'll take my chances with the Oompoos and the Wawas.

Pink

Oh no! A Narshlog has got Charlie!

Blue

Quickly! Grab onto our tongues!

Blue and Pink

Bleh!

(Blue and Pink's tongues shoot out of their mouths and drape over Charlie)

Charlie

Oh! Aw, really? Again with the tongues?

(Cuts to Charlie, Pink and Blue on the duck-boat, riding down the river.)

Blue

Ring, ring.

Pink

Hellooo?

Blue

Ring, ring.

Pink

H-he-hellooo?

Blue

Ring, ring.

Pink

Helloooooo?

Blue

Ring, ring.

Pink

H-hello?

Blue

...Ring, ring.

Charlie

You have a bad connection!

Blue

Time to go down below!

Pink

Into the liquid abyss!

(The duck-boat begins to sink into the river)

Charlie

Oh my God, hey, hey! I can't swim! Or breathe underwater!

Blue

Ring, ring.

Pink

Hello?

Charlie

I'm serious, I'm going to drown!

(talking over Charlie)

Blue

Ring, ring.

Pink

Hellooo?

Blue

Ring, ring.

Pink

Hellooo?

Charlie

What does this have to do with snowmen?

Blue

Ring, ring.

Pink

Helloooblubblubblub

(duckboat sinks into the river with Charlie, Pink and Blue on it)

(Cuts to scene where the duckboat is floating to the floor of what looks to be the ruins of a castle)

Blue

See, Charlie? Look!

Pink

This is where we've hidden the snowman!

Charlie

Yeah, to save the world, right? I'm not even gonna ask how I'm still alive. 'Cause you know what I think? I think I died long ago and you two are my eternal punishment.

Blue

You're like a constant downer, huh?

(Cuts to scene a where Charlie, Pink, and Blue are walking through the ruins)

Pink

To get to the snowman we need to first pass-(camera zooms out to reveal a door standing alone in front of the trio) the Dooooor!

Blue

The Dooooor!

Charlie

The Door?

Pink

Th-the Door!

Charlie

What is the Door?

Blue

The Door is everything!

Pink

All that once was and all that will be!

(The door begins to float and multicolored light begin to flash)

Blue

The Door controls Time and Space!

Pink

Love and Death!

Blue

The Door can see into your mind!

Pink

(Pink's pupil contracts) The Door can see into your SOUL!

Charlie

Really, th-the Door can do all that?

Pink

Heh, no.

(Cuts to a scene where Charlie, Blue and Pink are walking through the ruins again.)

Blue

We're almost there, Charlie. It's right at the end of this-Oh my God it's a whale!

Pink

Nooooo! Whaaaale!

(Shadow of a whale passes over the trio)

(silence)

(Shadow moves on)

Blue

Just a few more steps and-Oh my God it's a Narwhal!

Pink

Noooo! Narwhaaaaal! Narwhal of deathhhhh! It's gonna kill us!

(Shadow of a Narwhal passes over the trio)

(Silence)

(Shadow moves on)

Blue

It's right up ahead now! You can see the-Oh my God it's a-

Charlie

Stop it! Stop it! I don't care about each and every sea creature you see!

Pink

But, Charlie! They care about you!

(Music begins as a beam of light covers Charlie and he begins to float upwards)

Charlie

Oh, no. No! No! Noo!

(Charlie lands on the top of a pillar, and what seems to be a goat-seal hybrid floats on screen with a bunch of balloons then lets them go.)

Goat-seal

(singing) When you're feeling all alone, the world's a drone, and nobody's shown any love to you,

Charlie

(speaking) I can't tell if you're adorable or creepy.

Goat-seal

(singing) When your heart is cold as stone, just change your tone, get rid of that groan, and the world will too!

Charlie

Probably gonna go with creepy.

Goat-seal

'Cause Swordfishes-

Swordfish

Love you.

Goat-seal

Jellyfishes-

Jellyfish

Love you.

Goat-seal

Starfishes-

Starfish

I LOVE YOU!!

Goat-seal

You know it's true. Catfishes-

Catfish

Love you.

Goat-seal

Carpfishes-

Carpfish

Love you.

Goat-seal

Blowfishes-

(Starfish cuts in front of blowfish)

Starfish

STARFISH REALLY LOVES YOU!

Goat-seal

In the ocean blue!

(Shrimp wearing a golden chain around his neck and sunglasses appears with a bright orange background and begins to rap)

Lungfish, Blackfish, Alligator, Icefish, Armourhead, Hammerhead, Anaconda, Flathead, Manta Ray, Sting Ray, Fangtooth Moray, Goblin shark, Grass Carp, Round River Bat Ray, Noodlefish, Hagfish, Man O' War, Ladyfish, Black Eel, Baby seal, Sprat, Koi, Electric Eel, Lamprey, Pejerey, Yellow-edged Moray, Salmon Shark, Sleeper Shark, Featherback and Eagle Ray!

(cuts back to Charlie and the Goat-seal)

Goat-seal

Well, you can ignore this plea. That's fine with me, But one day you'll see, That my words are true!

Charlie

Please stop singing to me.

Goat-seal

What if, You find that you agree? I guarantee, That you will soon be Feeling the love too!

Charlie

I can't wait.

Goat-seal

'Cause Swordfishes-

Swordfish

Love you.

Goat-seal

Jellyfishes-

Jellyfish

Love you.

Goat-seal

Starfishes-

Starfish

I WANT TO BE WITH YOU FOREVER!

Goat-seal

You know it's true! Catfishes-

Catfish

Love you.

Goat-seal

Carpfishes-

Carpfish

Love you.

Goat-seal

Blowfishes-

(Starfish cuts in front of blowfish)

Starfish

STARFISH! LOVE ME! LOVE ME!

Goat-seal

In the ocean BLUEEE!

(Goat-seal floats off a bit and explodes)

(music ends)

Charlie

(floats back down to the ground) Oh, there goes everyone exploding. (camera zooms out to reveal a nose-less snowman standing on a pillar) Oh, hey, look at that. Hey guys! I found the snowman! What did you want me to do? Guys?

(green tendrils of smoke start rising from the ground.)

Charlie

What the-Oh, sleeping gas! Of course. Why did I expect any different?

(Charlie collapses, the screen goes black)

(cuts to scene with Charlie laying on the ground in a field of tundra, and it's snowing. His horn is gone.)

Charlie

(wakes up) Uh, oh, oh! Where am I? Hey! What happened to my horn?!

(camera zooms out to reveal the snowman with Charlie's horn as its nose)

Charlie

Oh! Come on, really! What did that accomplish?! Why would- (camera zooms out to reveal a pink glob in the snowman's side) Oh, look it's my kidney.

(cuts to credits)

Charlie the Unicorn 4

(Charlie is walking in a forest. all of a sudden, pink and blue unicorns come out of nowhere on a ship on fire)

Blue Unicorn

We have engine failure!

Pink Unicorn

Emergency systems are offline!

Charlie

What?

Blue Unicorn

Hull breach, we have a hull breach!

Pink Unicorn

Abandon ship, we are going down!

Charlie

Whatever, I’m leaving.

(Charlie starts walking off)

Pink Unicorn

There’s no time to evacuate. This is the end! Ahh!

Blue Unicorn

There is no god!

(the ship explodes and pink and blue unicorns land in front of Charlie)

Blue Unicorn

Charlie, we don’t have much time.

Pink Unicorn

We need to get to the moon

Blue Unicorn

IN OUTER SPACE! I don’t know why I yelled that...

Charlie

The moon, why do you need that?

Pink Unicorn

Drum solo,(pink unicorn darts around the place) BUM TA TA TA TA TA TA!

Charlie

What’s on the moon? Why do you need that?

Blue Unicorn

A huge scary Millipede.

Charlie

That’s – What?

Pink Unicorn

It’s using gross slimy Millipede power to destroy the cavern of the red wind. The most-

Charlie

I don’t care, I don’t know why we’ve been asking, it’s obvious, I have no actual choice here, how about we save some time and just go to the freakin’ moon.

Blue Unicorn

Oh, my god, that would be amazing.

(the ground turns upside down and Charlie falls into the sky)

Charlie

Ah ohhh – I don’t understand, how you can do these things?(the trio are floating in space) So how long is this going to take?

Blue Unicorn

Oh, Charlie, there a big old bug on your face.

Charlie

What, where? Is this the Millipede?

Pink Unicorn

Oh my god, Charlie, Charlie get it off.

Charlie

I don’t feel anything.

Blue Unicorn

Oh, it’s so gross – okay.

Pink Unicorn

Police, police.

Blue Unicorn

(imitates siren with voice) This is the police, we have you surrounded Mr. Bug.

Pink Unicorn

Taser him!.

(blue unicorn Tasers Charlie)

Charlie

No, hey…

Pink Unicorn

He is resisting arrest.

(Charlie gets tasered again)

Charlie

No, stop it, there is no bug.

Pink Unicorn

He has got a gun.

(Charlie gets tasered again)

Charlie

No, oh god.

Pink Unicorn

He’s got another gun.

(Charlie gets tasered again)

Charlie

Oh.

(the three are approaching the moon. they land)

Pink Unicorn

We are here.

Charlie

Yah!

Blue Unicorn

You ready Charlie, I believe in you.

Charlie

Ready for what?

Pink Unicorn

Behold the Millipede.

(A giant Millipede spurts out of the lunar soil).

Charlie

oh, ungh – here we go...

Millipede (singing)

I’m a Millipede, I am amazing.

I command you to gaze upon my face. You’ll never find someone charming as I am, I’m the swankiest bug out in space.

I’m a star, I’m a god, I’m a thing to behold. There is none as resplendent as I, with my sleek little legs and my three hundred eggs, Oh, my majesty none can deny.

Because I’m a Millipede, I’m mysterious, when I vanish, I never leave a trace. You will not find a bug with such illusions, I’m a creature of fathomless grace.

Alien bugs (chorus)

Millipede means allure -

Millipede means couture - Millipede meets grandeur Millipede means saviour Millipede means mature - Millipede means so pure - Millipede means the cure for all lesser breeds.

Millipede (singing)

I’m a Millipede, I’m a champion, no one else in the universe keeps pace.

You will never find someone quite so enchanting, while I’m here there’s just no second place. I’m an idol, a king, I’m an object of awe, there is none quite so gleaming as I. I’ve got glamour to spare, you are right when you stare. I’m the who, what, when, where and the why.

Join me.

alien bugs/millipede

I’m a(She is a) Millipede, I’m (she is) astounding,(wings spread on the millipede) wisdom floats from my personage like lace.

You will never find someone darling as I am, (as she is.) I’m the (She's the) swankiest, tutelary pest, certainly best dressed, bug out in space.

(The Millipede bursts).

Blue Unicorn

You did it Charlie, you defeated the Millipede.

Charlie

It’s just exploded like everything does when it sings to me.

(the cave starts glowing red on the inside)

Blue Unicorn

Wow, wow. The cavern is open.

Charlie

Oh, no, I don’t want to do it, I can’t take anymore of this, you two, you’re just horrible.

Blue Unicorn

But Charlie listen to me, this is the most important thing we’ve ever needed you for, if you go into the cavern, we’ll never bother you again.

Charlie

Never?

Pink Unicorn:(Pink unicorn is tiny and on Charlie's back) We promise, it will be the last you ever see of us Charlie.

Charlie

Okay, okay, I’ll go in.

Blue Unicorn

Charlie, you are in dream machine.

(It can be heard "Dream machine" like in an old video game).

Charlie

All right, so we’re in, what do I do?

(A big bomb with a countdown timer appears)

Charlie

Ah, what is that?

Blue Unicorn

We’ve gotten kind of bored.

Pink Unicorn

Were also bored of the moon

Blue Unicorn

So we’re going to blow it up.

Charlie

What? Okay and how do we get back to earth?

(Pink and blue unicorn start floating away)

Pink Unicorn

Bye Charlie.

Blue Unicorn

You’ll always kind of smelled like a bush, just thought you’d want to know?

Charlie

Oh, you guys are going little far this time ah? Guys, guys, guys.

(The starfish seen in the 3rd "Charlie the unicorn" appears).

Starfish

Charlie, we don’t have much time.

Charlie

Oh, starfish, they’re – they’re trying to kill me.

Starfish

Oh, all will be explained, but first, you need to wish on me.

Charlie

What?

Starfish

I’m a star, make a wish, wish to go home.

Charlie

All right, but what happens to you?

Starfish

Just do it, my love! Wish!

Charlie

I wish to go home.

Starfish

Oh.

(The starfish bursts into flames).

Charlie

Oh my god.

(the moon explodes)

Pink Unicorn

Yeah, bye, Charlie.

Blue Unicorn

Okay, who is next? (Charlie appears in front of them) Oh, hello.

Pink Unicorn

Well, this is embarrassing.

(The starfish falls from the sky).

Starfish

Oh, YOLO!

YouTube Live: Charlie the Unicorn

(Charlie is walking through a forest, when a portal from another dimension opens.)

Charlie

Ugh, what now?

(Pink and Blue suddenly walk beside him.)

Pink

Charlie, it's happening!

Charlie

Huh? What's happening? What's goin' on?

Blue

YouTube Live, Charlie!

Pink

It's where the Internet and real life combine!

(Blue's eye suddenly inflates to an enormous size as he flips around in the air, like a piece of paper, as he says the following line of dialogue)

Blue

In THREEE-DEEEEE! Nyeh, heh, heh, Nyeh, Nyeeeeeeeeeh!

Charlie

Oh my God, if the Internet leaks into real life, everywhere you look, fat guys will be falling over in slow motion, cats will be doing people things, Rick Astley will make a comeback!

Blue (Still floating in air)

Never gonna give you up!

Pink

Never gonna let you dooooown!

(Lightning crackles as chocolate starts raining from the sky)

Blue

It has beguuuuun!

Charlie

Oh my God, it's raining chocolate!

(A creepy, distorted version of Rick Astley with tentacle arms, sharp teeth, a forked tongue, and white eyes emerges from the portal)

Rick Astley

Blaaaaaaargh!

Charlie

Aah, it's Rick Astley, run!

Blue

Hooray for the collapse of civilization!

Pink

Down with democracy!

Charlie

What is wrong with you two?!

(Pink and blue suddenly don an Ushanka, have a long beard, and a star-shaped necklace around their necks, and begin speaking Russian)

Blue

Мое судно на воздушной! (My hovercraft...)

Pink

подушке полно угрей! (...Is full of eels!)

(The screen suddenly flashes white and the group are transported to a blank, white room with a message at the top saying, "We are currently performing site maintenance. Be cool - We'll be back 100% in a bit.")

Charlie

Hey, what happened? (Looks up at the message) Oh, good. YouTube has gone into maintenance mode. For now, we're safe.

Pink

We're also... No strangers to love.

(The portal opens up again.)

Charlie

Hey, don't do that. He'll come back!

Blue (In a singsong voice)

...You know the rules!

Rick Astley (In a deep, unsettling voice)

...And so do I! Bluuuuuuuh!

Charlie

Aaaaah!

Blue

Nooooooo!

Pink (Wears an Ushanda, beard, necklace, and speaks Russian again)

Коммунизм! (Communism!)

LINK TO VIDEO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FXMYsMvs1A