Close Enough

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Close Enough is an American adult animated sitcom created by JG Quintel for HBO Max. The series revolves around a millennial couple named Josh and Emily who were in their early 30's with their 5-year-old daughter, Candice, and their divorced friends, Alexander and Bridgette, who lives with them at a duplex in Los Angeles, California.

Season 1[edit]

Episode 1[edit]

Quilty Pleasures[edit]

Calamari: My name is Calamari. And these are my friends—Walleye, Tilapia, Troutface, and Scrode.
Scrode: It's pronounced "Scrawd"!

Josh: We're not your parents!
Calamari: Of course you are. That was the price for the quilt, remember? Remember? [spiders crawl out of her mouth]

The Perfect House[edit]

Josh: Hey, how'd you guys get here so fast? I only ordered it like 20 minutes ago.
Delivery Guy: Says here you ordered it three days ago.
Josh: THREE DAYS?! Where the hell is Emily?!

Episode 2[edit]

Logan's Run'd[edit]

Jaxon: So what's up girl? Wanna come back to my crib?
Bridgette: Okay, but just a hang out. I'm not some YouTube croupy.
Jaxon: That's cool. We'll do a little screen time. PBS Kids and chill. Get my mom to whoop us up get some snacks.
Bridgette: Oh, you still live with your mom?
Jaxon: And weekends with my dad's. He's so strong.
Bridgette: Wait, how old are you?
Jaxon: Me? I just turned 26. [Bridgette sighs] Months. 26 months.
Bridgette: What?

Room Parents[edit]

Nikki: Do you work out? Actually, don't answer; I wanna find out organically.

Episode 3[edit]

Skate Dad[edit]

[as Josh gets sent to an ambulance]
Candice: Daddy, what's an ass knife?
Josh: Uh, huh. That's a different lesson!

100% No Stress Day[edit]

[Josh, Alex and Candice sneak in and hide behind a wooden crate and hey watch the meat being produced]
Candice: Aw sick! Look at what they're putting in the meat!
[the Wurst Bros employees pouring dead animal parts into the meat processing machines]
Alex: That is...so gross.
Josh: Dude, look up there! [reads a pig-shaped sign reading "Not Stolen Hams"] I bet there's hams in there.
[a muscular man approaches Josh and Alex from behind and bangs their heads together, knocking them out. Candice is left untouched]
Muscular Man: Factory Tour's on Thursdays. [he picks up Candice] Hello sweetie, I have the perfect place for you.

Episode 4[edit]

Prank War[edit]

Cool Moms[edit]

Episode 5[edit]

Robot Tutor[edit]

Emily: [sees Candice leave her seat] Candice, what are you doing?
Candice: Proving I'm not dumb!
Commercial Bot: No matter. I'm password protected. [Candice types up the password] You'll never guess my-

Golden Gamer[edit]

Student: It's like that dude Sisyphus. He kept trying to push that car up the mountain, but he couldn't handle it, and he quit.
Alex: Eh, technically, Sisyphus couldn't quit. But you know what? You got most of it.
Lee: Well, check this out, Dorp. You're our Sisyphus.
Alex: [tears of joy] Wah, wah, wee, wah.

Episode 6[edit]

So Long Boys[edit]

Clap Like This[edit]

Episode 7[edit]

First Date[edit]

Snailin' It[edit]

Episode 8[edit]

The Canine Guy[edit]

Season 2[edit]

Episode 1[edit]

Josh Gets Shredded[edit]

Candice: Let's play King Kong.
[Josh tosses Candice up into the air; his back breaks when he catches her]
Candice: Uh, dad?
Josh: AAAAAAH!

Meet the Frackers[edit]

Episode 2[edit]

Sauceface[edit]

Candice: This wasn't how it was supposed to go. I just wanted to make a little cash, have a little fun. But sometimes, even the best plans… can leave a skid-mark in your shorts. To understand how we got here, you've gotta know the legend. The legend… of Sauceface.

Houseguest from Hell[edit]

[Two weeks later…]
Bridgette: [angrily knocking on the bathroom door and opens it while Becca is showering] BECCA! You have been in there for three hours! I need to shower!
Becca: Thank you so much! I would love a nice coffee.

Episode 3[edit]

Joint Break[edit]

Pearle: [on the phone with the insurance man] Oh, really? Well, tell me, Mr. Insurance Man, how on Earth is a partial hip replacement considered elective surgery?! No, you read the fine print of your medical plan for more information! [hangs up, groaning angrily] After giving the police force the best years of my life, all they give me in return is some aspirin and a prescription for water aerobics?!
Randy: Those bastards!
Pearle: Don't you talk about the LAPD that way!
Randy: But you-- But you just said--
Pearle: Once a cop, always a cop, Randy.
Randy: Why not give the water aerobics a try? They say it's not just for old people.
Pearle: [opens the prescription brochure, showing an image of a coffin floating in the pool] I'm too young for this shit.

Cyber Matrix[edit]

Episode 4[edit]

Haunted Couch[edit]

Josh: [carrying an old white couch with Alex] We got a street couch!
Emily: Oh, hell no! We agreed, no more garbage furniture!
Josh: [whining] But I want it! Oh, we got that savings account you wanted.
Emily: But we needed that! [exhales sharply] Fine.
Josh: Yes! Excuse us, ladies.

Man Up[edit]

Episode 5[edit]

Handy[edit]

Randy: Those examples are bullshit and you know it! I'm gonna do what troubled young men have done for centuries… Go to sea.

Birthdaze[edit]

[Josh and Emily return to the adult party in the garage and all the parents have gone completely out of control, creating a raucous]
Trish: Oh, my God. Wouldn't it be funny if we all made out?
Jojo: Ha, let's get naked and fight! [punches Ted in the face]
Ted: Ow! I'm down.
Emily: [shocked in horror] What the butt?! We were gone for five minutes!
Bridgette: What'd you expect? You gave a bunch of parents a keg. Everyone knows once you have kids you can't hold your liquor.

[The parents exit the garage and start making fun of The Amazing Sardini as Josh and Emily try to settle them down]
Ted: Fake thumb!
Party guest: Magic sucks!
Jojo: Suck your own [bleep]!
Amazing Sardini: Ma'am! There are children here!

Episode 6[edit]

Time Hooch[edit]

World's Greatest Teacher[edit]

Episode 7[edit]

Where'd You Go, Bridgette?[edit]

The Erotic Awakening of A. P. LaPearle[edit]

Episode 8[edit]

Men Rock![edit]

Secret Horse[edit]

Season 3[edit]

Episode 1[edit]

Where the Buffalo Roam[edit]

Venice Vengeance[edit]

Episode 2[edit]

Hellspital[edit]

Josh: Man, I don't like this. You seem pretty sick.
Alex: Oh, yeah? Could a guy who's… pretty sick mail a letter? [later crawls outside over to the mailbox to mail a letter]
Josh: Alex, are you okay?
Alex: Nailed it.
Josh: You threw up on the way over here.
Alex: Yeah. As a joke.
[Emily, Bridgette, Pearle, and Randy come out]
Emily: Okay. We're taking you to a doctor.
Alex: Doctor?

Alex: I-I think you took a wrong turn, Pearle.
Pearle: Oh, uh, we're taking a different route.
Alex: Oh, okay. Hold on. How did I not know about this screening? I have like six different Google alerts for "Viking Timelord marathon." [realizes in horrified shock] Wait a minute. THIS IS THE WAY TO THE HOSPITAL!!

Candice Candice Revolution[edit]

Imaginary Robin Hood: Fair Candice! It is I, an 80%-On-Model-Robin Hood. Rules are completely meaningless. Go forth and do whatever you want.
Candice: Really?
Imaginary Robin Hood: Of course! Doing whatever you feel like is the key to happiness. Your mind has now been blown in three, two, one!

Episode 3[edit]

Randy Free Solos[edit]

Summer Job[edit]

Episode 4[edit]

Bridgette the Brain[edit]

Olivia: Hey, sis. [she and Bridgette hug] Can't believe you actually made it.
Mrs. Hashima: Hello, everyone!
Emily: Hi, Mrs. Hashima. And thanks so much for us, Olivia.
Mrs. Hashima: She's "Doctor Olivia" now.
Bridgette: [scoffs] She's not a real doctor, she just stayed in school too long.

Bridgette: [picks up an intelli pill from the bowl and walks into the hallway] I'll show them smart. [swallows the pill and an electric bolt elevates up from her spine to her brain] Huh? I guess it doesn't work. AAGH! [falls onto her knees] Mind on fire. Hypotenuse! Parthenogenesis! "Star Trek" continuity!
Emily: [whistling a tune, shimmying over to Mrs. Hashima] You know, maybe you shouldn't be so hard on Bridgette. She's really trying her best.
Mrs. Hashima: Oh, you millennial parents. You'd prefer I celebrate mediocrity?
Emily: What? We don't do that.

Bridgette: [after inventing a Mind-agra pill] 1,000 milligrams of bio-optimized, quick-release nootropic cognitive enhancement. [takes out her phone] Science, bitch! [shutter clicks a selfie]

Bridgette: [clapping slowly] Wow, cool pill… if you like bullshit! Hit it, Alex! [walks up on the stage] Behold! Mind-agra! [holds up a Mind-agra pill in front of the audience as they gasp in surprise]
Olivia: [shocked] No! But how?! [Bridgette wipes her bangs, revealing her increased head; gasps in shock] Bitch took my pill! [runs over to her mother] Mom! She stole my pill and reverse engineered it! Do something!
Mrs. Hashima: Like what? It's about time Bridgette did something useful. [gets up from her seat and walks up on the stage]
Bridgette: [as her sister runs up and swipes the pill bottle out of her hand] Hey!
Olivia: [dumps out a pill from the bottle and swallows it and her brain gets a little bigger as she groans] I…understand! [quickly draws a hypothesis on the chalkboard] I did it! I proved the Riemann hypothesis, the most important unsolved problem in pure mathematics!
[The audience cheers and applause for Olivia as Mrs. Hashima raises up her hand]
Man in Audience: Eat shit, Riemann!
Audience: [chanting] Olivia! Olivia! Olivia!
Bridgette: It's on!
[The Hashima sisters keep on gulping down on Mind-agra pills and both their brains increase bigger]
Olivia: I can see the Internet!
Bridgette: I can manipulate gravity!
[The Hashima sisters rise into the air]
Bridgette: Don't worry, I'll keep this short.
Olivia: Like your bangs?
Bridgette: I'll KILL YOU! [launches herself at her sister and pushes her through the roof of a studio]
Candice: Science is awesome!

Never Meet Your Heroes[edit]

Alex: [clears throat] "Eons ago…"
Emily: [outraged] What the [bleep]?!
Josh: This sucks!
Bridgette: It makes me want to kill myself!
Josh: You've made me hate reading more than I already do! [takes the flat screen TV off the wall and throws it, making it explode]
Alex: Wait, what?! Is it really that bad?
Bridgette: Let's kick him in the nuts!

Josh: [in Candice's body] Whoa! Everyone's freakin' huge!
Candice: [in Emily's body] Hell, yeah, I'm old enough to cuss!
Bridgette: [in Alex's body] I'm literally inside my ex. My therapist is gonna love this.
Emily: [in Josh's body] Wait. So who's in Bridgette?
Jack Kleghorn: [in Bridgette's body] That's Sir Bridgette!

Episode 5[edit]

Robots with Benefits[edit]

The Weird Kid[edit]

Episode 6[edit]

Legend of the Pier[edit]

Josh: Lotta cars.
Alex: [spots a car, thinking it's about to backup] Aha! See? A space is opening up as we speak. [the car's tale lights go off; annoyingly honks the horn, unaware that the driver is doing her taxes]
Driver: [gets out of her car and runs to Alex's car; irately] I'M DOING MY TAXES, DICKWEED! [viciously slams her fists on the hood; Alex and Josh scream and drive away] I'm gonna deduct your head from your body!

Bike & Survive[edit]

Episode 7[edit]

Halloween Enough[edit]

Episode 8[edit]

The Perfect Couple[edit]

Match Made In Valhalla[edit]

Bridgette: [last lines] Already with the excuses.

Cast[edit]

See also[edit]

External links[edit]

Wikipedia
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