Cobra Kai

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Cobra Kai is an American comedy-drama web television series based on The Karate Kid film series created by Robert Mark Kamen that premiered on May 2, 2018 on YouTube Red (now YouTube Premium).[1] It takes place 34 years after the original film and follows the reopening of the Cobra Kai karate dojo by Johnny Lawrence and the rekindling of his old rivalry with Daniel LaRusso, starring Ralph Macchio and William Zabka in their respective roles.

The Karate Kid Saga Continues.

Johnny Lawrence[edit]

  • I'm gonna teach you the style of karate that was taught to me. A method of fighting your pussy generation desperately needs. I'm not just gonna teach you how to conquer your fears. I'm gonna teach you how to awaken the snake within you. And once you do that, you'll be the one who's feared. You'll build strength. You'll learn discipline. And when the time is right, you'll strike back.
  • Cobra Kai isn't just about karate, it's about a way of life.
  • See that? It doesn't matter if you're a loser, or a nerd, or a freak. All that matters is that you become badass!
  • Look, I admit Cobra Kai had it's share of problems in the 80s. My Sensei didn't always play by the rules. That's why I left. But MY Cobra Kai is different. It's a place where kids can come and feel like they belong, where they won't get picked on just because they're a bunch of losers-er, because they're unique. I've watched first hand as my students have gotten stronger, gained confidence, learned how to stand up for themselves. Cobra Kai is making a difference in these kids' lives. And honestly, they're making a difference in mine as well. Thank you.
  • I was trying to make things right, let the past be the past. You still can't leave well enough alone, man.
  • Cobra Kai is BACK, baby!

Daniel LaRusso[edit]

  • [From commercial] Banzai! Daniel LaRusso here from LaRusso Auto, bringing you specials on all of our inventory. We have an excess of Jeep Grand Cherokees, priced to go! Get a lease for only...[subtitle of price saying: "439/month] Nah. Make that...[he "karate chops" the price down, where it changes to "339/month] Yes, we are chopping prices on all of our Hondas, Nissans, Acuras, and Audis. So come visit any of our locations in Tarzana, Woodland Hills, North Hollywood, or Sherman Oaks. And as always, every customer leaves with their very own Bonsai tree. LaRusso Auto Group. We kick the competition!
  • [After seeing that Johnny reponed Cobra Kai] Johnny, you and I, this...we aren't done.

Season 1[edit]

Ace Degenerate[edit]

Miguel: Hey! I'm Miguel. My family and I just moved into 109.
Johnny: Great. More immigrants.
Miguel: Actually, we're from Riverside.

Johnny: [On the phone with his supervisor] No, no, no! I didn't call her a bitch, I said she was bitching at me. There's a difference!...You're firing me because of that bitch? You know what, I hated this damn job anyway. You better pay me what you owe me, Mike! Mike?

Miguel: Hey, I just wanted to say thank you.
Johnny: Alright, well, you said it.
Miguel: So last night, was that, like, Tae Kwon Do, or Jiu-Jitsu, or MMA, or something?
Johnny: It's Karate. Old school Karate.
Miguel: Do you think you could teach me?
Johnny: What? No.
Miguel: What? Come on, when school starts, those guys are gonna make my life miserable.
Johnny: It's not my problem.
Miguel: If I just knew a little bit of what you knew then I would be--
Johnny: Forget it! I don't do karate anymore! All right? besides, I need to find a job.
Miguel: Well, You can open your own karate school.
Johnny: It's called a dojo.
Miguel: Well, you could open your own dojo.
Johnny: Look, I'm not getting into this with you, all right? I'm not even sure I'm allowed to be around kids right now.

Sid Weinberg: [Holding up a meat packet from Johnny's fridge] You know those little red stickers that say "further reduced?" That means spoiled. You know that, right? You're eating bad meat, boy.
Johnny: What the hell are you doing in my apartment, Sid?
Sid Weinberg: Oh, that's some thank you. Who do you even think bailed you out? Again.
Johnny: I never asked for anything.
Sid Weinberg: I figured that little incident at Applebees would be enough to teach you to keep your hands to yourself. You know, when I first met your mom, she really knocked my socks off. Beautiful, blonde, tan...tight. Little did I know, I'd be taking care of her schmuck kid forever.
Johnny: That's right, Sid. You were the real stepdad of the century.

Anoush: Wait, is this the karate guy? The guy from the tournament?
Louie: Oh, this is the guy whose ass you kicked.
Daniel: It was a really close match. But, if you want to get technical, I kicked his face. [Chuckles] I'm just busting your chops.
[The others laugh. Johnny is totally not amused]
Johnny: It was an illegal kick.
Daniel: Oh, illegal? Really? Come on, what about that elbow to my knee?
Johnny: Yeah, I got a warning. You got the win.

Johnny: Are you sure you're ready? Because once you go down this path, there's no turning back.
Miguel: You're gonna be my karate teacher?
Johnny: No. I'm gonna be your sensei.

Strike First[edit]

Johnny: Cobra Kai isn't just about Karate. It's about a way of life. [Points to wall with "Strike First Strike Hard No Mercy" written on it] Take that first lesson. Striking first is the initial step towards victory. Okay, like when you're at a party, and you see a hot babe. You don't wait for some other guy to go talk to her first, do you?
Miguel: I mean, I've never been to a party, so...
Johnny: Big surprise. Alright, look, striking first is about being aggressive. Alright? If you're not aggressive, then you're being a pussy. And you don't wanna be a pussy! You wanna have balls!
Miguel: Don't you think you're doing a lot of genderizing?
Johnny: ...what?
Miguel: Oh, sorry. Don't you think you're doing a lot of genderizing, sensei?
Johnny: No, what the hell are you talking about?
Miguel: Oh, uh, my guidance counselor says that certain words can perpetuate the sexist world view that can trigger-
Johnny: QUIET! From now on, you won't listen to your guidance counselor, you're gonna listen to me! Is that understood?
Miguel: Uh, yes, sensei.

Johnny: Change that ring tone. Get some Guns N' Roses, or something.
Miguel: What's Guns N' Roses?
Johnny: I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that.

Miguel: Hey sensei, is there any particular way you want me to wash these windows?
Johnny: Nah, I don't give a shit. Whatever's easiest.

Daniel: Some things never change.
Johnny: Yeah? What are you talking about?
Daniel: I heard you beat up a bunch of teenagers in that parking lot out there.
Johnny: Oh, that. No, I didn't beat up any teenagers. I kicked the shit out of a bunch of assholes who deserved it.
Daniel: Wow. Johnny Lawrence calling someone else an asshole. That's rich, man.
Johnny: Yeah, what's that supposed to mean?
Daniel: Alright, look. I'm not here to rehash the past. Just stay away from my daughter's friends.
Johnny: Your daughter's friends? Yeah, that makes sense. Nice company she keeps.
Daniel: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Johnny: It means those friends of hers were wailing on a kid half their size. Maybe you don't know your daughter as well as you think you do. Get your house in order, LaRusso.
Daniel: Who the hell do you think you're talking to?
Miguel: Bathroom's clean! [walks into the scene] Is there anything else you need me to do?
[Johnny motions towards Miguel. He pulls out his earphones.]
Miguel: I'm sorry, Sensei. I...
Daniel: Sensei? Really? Oh my god. [To Miguel] Kid, I don't know what he's told you, but you shouldn't believe a word this guy says, or you're gonna end up just like him. [Back to Johnny] You and I, this...we're not done.

Esqueleto[edit]

Johnny: [To Miguel] Hey, you don't happen to have any friends who wanna learn Karate, do you? Oh, what am I saying? You don't have any friends.
Miguel: Hey sensei, when am I gonna learn to do some kicking? I was watching this YouTube video of this guy breaking boards and it looked badass!
Johnny: Yeah, no shit. Kicking IS badass. But you're not ready. Besides, if I don't get more students in here, I'm not gonna be able to teach you anything.
Miguel: Well, you've thought about advertising, right?
Johnny: ...Yeah, duh! Of course!

Johnny: I just need you to bring attention to the dojo, alright? I want everybody to see this sign.
Lynn: Do you want me to flash my bits? That'll cost you extra.
Johnny: No, that's the opposite of what I want. Nobody wants to see your bits. Just take this sign, hold it up in the air, and spin it around, alright? Do that all day, and you'll get your money.
Lynn: Well, I want meth and a burrito.
Johnny: You can spend it on whatever you want, that's how money works. Just do your job, spin it around, I'll pay you back later. You got it?
Lynn: Got it!
Johnny: Hold the sign up!

Miguel: I wish I could show my mom what I did to those boards, but if she knew where I was right now, she'd kill me. What's wrong with you?
Johnny: [After reading "Final Notice" bills] Nothing. Put your costume on, I'm driving you to that dance, and we're gonna pick up some more students. [Sees Miguel's horribly homemade halloween costume] What the hell is that?
Miguel: It's my halloween costume. My ya-ya made it. It started off as Deadpool, then I think it was Spider-Man, and then it just kinda became some generic superhero.
Johnny: Yeah, a poor one at that. You're Poor-Man.
Miguel: Yeah.
Johnny: Well, I can't let you go out like that. We have a reputation to uphold.
Miguel: What do you suggest?
[At the high school dance, Miguel is seen wearing Johnny's skeleton costume from the first movie]

[Daniel sees Johnny in the high school hallway hanging Cobra Kai flyers]
Daniel: What do you think you're doing?
Johnny: I'm promoting my business. Why don't you try minding yours?
Daniel: Minding mine? You know what, look, this is ridiculous, okay? We can both be adults here. I just don't know why you'd ever wanna bring back Cobra Kai after what your sensei did to you.
Johnny: Because I'm not Kreese...and the lessons worked.
Daniel: "Strike first, no mercy?" Real good lessons. If you think I'm gonna let you fill these kids heads with that garbage, you're nuts, man.

Cobra Kai Never Dies[edit]

Counterbalance[edit]

Kyler "I'm ready for your lame ass karate this time!"
Miguel "It's not lame ass karate. [Blocks punch from Kyler] It's Cobra Kai." [Punches Kyler in the face.]

Quiver[edit]

All Valley[edit]

Molting[edit]

Johnny: You've trained hard. You've gotten stronger, tougher, faster. You've done your best! You're ready for this tournament! Am I right?
Students: Yes, Sensei!
Johnny: WRONG! Your best ain't shit! If you wanna win the All-Valley Under 18 Karate Tournament, you gotta give me better than your best! Which is why, from now on, you're gonna be getting my worst! Is that understood?!
Students: Yes, Sensei!
Johnny: Are you losers?!
Students: No, Sensei!
Johnny: Are you nerds?!
Students: No, Sensei!
Johnny: Are you sure?!
Students: No, Sensei!
[Johnny facepalms]

Different But The Same[edit]

No Mercy[edit]

Cast[edit]

External links[edit]

Wikipedia
Wikipedia has an article about:
  • ‘Karate Kid’ TV Sequel Starring Ralph Macchio & William Zabka Set For YouTube Red. Deadline. Retrieved on November 20, 2018.