Dumb and Dumber To

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Dumb and Dumber To is a 2014 American comedy film co-written and directed by Bobby Farrelly and Peter Farrelly, and is a direct sequel to their 1994 film Dumb and Dumber. The film tells the story of Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunne, who set out on a cross country trip to find Harry's daughter who had been adopted.

The film was produced in late 2013, and was released on November 14, 2014.

The average person uses 10% of their brain capacity. Imagine what he could do with 1%.

Lloyd Christmas[edit]

  • Crap on toast!
  • Hey, Billy! I hear you got a lot of flocking birds.

Harry Dunne[edit]

  • [going through his extremely old mail left at his childhood home] Oh, look. An acceptance letter from Arizona State.
  • That's weird. The smell of peanuts makes my weenie cold.

Dialogue[edit]

[first lines]
Asylum Nurse #1: There he (Harry) is again. Almost two decades and he still comes.

[Harry visits handicapped Lloyd at the asylum.]
Harry: Anyway, you're in good hands here. So... take care, buddy.
[He walks off. Lloyd grunts.]
Harry: [stops in his tracks] Lloyd, did you say something? [Lloyd grunts again.] That's it, kid. You can do it. Come on! Come on, come on, come on! Spit it out.
Lloyd: [suddenly] GOT YA! [laughs]
Harry: [stammers] What?
Lloyd: [gets up from his wheelchair] You should see the look on your face! I got you so good!!!
Harry: Wait a second! Are you telling me that you were faking for 20 years?
Lloyd: Uh-huh.
Harry: So you mean that you just wasted the best years of your life...
Lloyd: [scoffs] Out the window!
Harry: And you let me come here every Wednesday for like, 1,000 weeks, and it was all just for a gag!?
Lloyd: Uh-huh!
Harry: That's... awesome!

Lloyd: Why don't you roll me inside? We can get the nurse to get the catheter out of me.
Harry: We don't need nurses for that.
Lloyd: But you don't have to...
[Harry pulls on the catheter, yanks Lloyd off the wheelchair]

Lloyd: Oh, yeah! [notice's Harry's cat] Hey! Who's this?
Harry: That's Butthole. I found him out in the alley a couple years ago.
Lloyd: Why did you name him Butthole?
Harry: 'Cause of this.[shows the cat's butthole]
Lloyd: Oh, yeah. Good name. Totally fits.

Lloyd: [Lloyd notices Harry has a meth dealer in their apartment] Who's the astronaut?
Harry: Oh that's my new room-mate.
Lloyd: [shocked and slightly disappointed] Room-mate? You have a new room-mate?
Harry: Well you know I had to get someone to pay your half of the rent while you were in hospital. How's it going, Ice Pick?
Ice Pick: Best day ever. Greatest day of my life, really.
Harry: Pick cooks up a rock candy that will make you dizzy. Folks come from all over the city to buy them.
Lloyd: It's burning my eyes! Must be Cajun style!

Harry's Dad: We love you, Harry.
Lloyd: Did you love him long time?

[Harry and Lloyd are at Mr. and Mrs. Stainer's house at nighttime.]
Lloyd: Wanna hear the second most annoying sound in the world?
Harry: Sure. [Lloyd constantly rings the doorbell] Yeah. That's pretty annoying.
Lloyd: No, not that.
Mrs. Stainer: [answering the door] WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING RINGING OUR DOORBELL LIKE THAT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?!
Lloyd: That!

Harry: Boy, I sure wish I could've been there for her (Penny) when she was little.
Lloyd: Whatever. That's all water under the fridge now, Har. Think of the bright side. You're finally getting to meet her, and you never had to change all those poopy diapers.
Harry: That's called being a parent, Lloyd. Besides, I changed your poopy diapers for 20 years.
[A flashback shows Harry putting a diaper on a handicapped Lloyd]
Lloyd: [chuckling] I totally sucked you in. Half the time, it wasn't even my poop.

Bernard: [after Harry shows him the letter] But that was a couple years ago, and I'm sure she'll appreciate all the trouble you've gone to find her. Let's call her. [He dials her number and hands Harry his cellphone]
Harry: It's ringing!
[Lloyd hears Penny's cellphone buzzing nearby. He answers it.]
Lloyd: [whispers] Whoever this is, we're in the middle of something really important. Can you call back later?
Harry: [oblivious Lloyd is speaking] No, I can't call back later. I have something to tell you and it might freak you out a little bit, but...this is your dad.
Lloyd: What? Hold on. [to Adele and Bernard] Hey, guys? I know this is weird timing, but I got to take this. It's my dead dad.
Harry: [to Adele and Bernard] She's got me on hold.
[Adele and Bernard are confused.]
Lloyd: Dad, what did you do with all those penthouses? Did you throw them out?
Harry: No, they're under my mattress. Why?
Adele: [sighs] You idiot, that is Penny's phone! [takes the phone]

Lloyd: Hey, when is this KEN thing, anyway?
Travis: It actually starts today, but Penny doesn't give her speech until the night of May 2nd.
Harry: So that gives us...How many days are in April?
Lloyd: "Thirty days have September, all the rest I can't remember."
Harry: Must be 31, because nothing rhymes with August.
Lloyd: No, I think it's 32, Har. April's a leap month.
Harry: 31.
Lloyd: 32.
Harry: 31.
Lloyd: 32.
Harry and Lloyd: [overlapping] 2, 2, 2! 31, 31, 1, 1, 1!
Travis: 30! There's 30!
Harry: Thank you.
Travis: You said 31.
Harry: Yeah, but I was closer.

Lloyd: Hey, you guys wanna play "He Who Smelt It"?
Harry: Yeah.
Travis: What's that?
Lloyd: It's complicated, so pay attention. We put the windows up, first one who smells a fart gets a point. If you say who dealt it, double points.
Harry: But if you say you smelled a fart and nobody farted, like if we were just passing a slaughterhouse...
Lloyd: False fart!
Harry: ...you lose a point. And you can't smell your own farts, either.
Travis: What, are you guys kidding? No! No! I'm not gonna sit around sniffing you guys' farts like some kinda truffle pig! Forget it.
Harry: Okay, fine. Lloyd and I will play one-on-one.
Lloyd: Yeah, head-to-head.
Travis: How can you play one-on-one? If you smell a fart and you didn't do it, isn't it obvious the other guy did?
[Lloyd stares surprisingly at Travis]
Lloyd: I thought you said you never played before.

Travis: I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 3. Whoever guesses it gets to be king of the car.
Lloyd: 1!
Travis: Nope.
Harry: 3?
Travis: Nope.
[Harry and Lloyd think for a while]
Lloyd: Okay, what is it?
[Travis looks at Lloyd, quizzically]
Travis: 2.
Lloyd: [groans] Oh, I swear I was gonna say that!

[Harry and Lloyd are walking to El Paso after their hearse got hit by a train; Harry is deaf]
Lloyd: [thinking Travis drove off on them] I can't believe that douchebag stole our hearse. I hope something really bad happens to him.
Harry: No, but I tried ostrich once.
Lloyd: [stops Harry] Harry, holy cow! I'm worried about you. [waves his hand over Harry's face] You're as deaf as a bat.
Harry: That's not exactly how it happened, Lloyd. Your mother got into bed with me.

Harry: This is stupid Lloyd, I'm not gonna steal an old lady's hearing aid!
Lloyd: Relax we're just looking for a backup pair, there's gotta be some around here.
[Lloyd and Harry search Mrs. Snergle's room for a hearing aid.]
Mrs. Snergle: Mikey?
Lloyd: [pretending to be Mrs. Snergle's grandson] Yeah, Gran. It's Mikey.
Mrs. Snergle: Oh, thank God you're here. I've got the diamonds.
Harry: [loudly] Did she say diamonds?
[Lloyd frantically shushes Harry and dashes to Mrs. Snergle's bed.]
Lloyd: Go ahead, Granny. Mikey's listening.
Mrs. Snergle: I want you to take all the diamonds with you when you go. I've been hiding them from those thieving lawyers.
Lloyd: That's good. Granny did a good thing! So, where are the rocks?
Mrs. Snergle: [pointing down] They're underneath me.
Lloyd: [about to look under bed] You mean, under the bed?
Mrs. Snergle: No, under the blanket.
Lloyd: Oh.
[Lloyd puts his arm under blanket and searches; Mrs. Snergles starts moaning.]
Lloyd: [chuckling] I'm not finding anything.
Mrs. Snergle: Go up more.
[Lloyd reaches his arm under blanket further towards Mrs. Snergle.]
Lloyd: Up here?
Mrs. Snergle: Keep going.
[Lloyd reaches his arm up even further, unaware he has just stuck his hand up Mrs. Snergle's vagina]
Lloyd: Did you hide them inside this turkey?
Mrs. Snergle: Yeah, right. [inhales seductively]
Lloyd: [wiggling his arm] Wait. There's no diamonds here!
Mrs. Snergle: [sternly] And you're not my grandson!
Lloyd: [trying to pull out his arm] Harry, she's got me. She's really clamping down!
[Lloyd finally pulls his hand out from blanket, now covered in dust. Mrs. Snergles giggles mischievously.]
Harry: [shuddering] Lloyd? I think that was her gran-gina!
Mrs. Snergle: That's right! So you can cross that one off your bucket list!
[Lloyd blows dust off his hand. Some of it flies into his and Harry's faces and they cough.]

Lloyd: I'm his associate, Dr. Christmas.
Dr. Lewis Meldman: Ah, Christmas, like the holiday?
Lloyd: No. Like the tree.

Harry: You're hot for my daughter!
Lloyd: What?
Harry: Am I right?
Lloyd: What?
Harry: Am I right?
Lloyd: That's insane!
Harry: Don't deny it, Lloyd!

Dr. Lewis Meldman: [dragging Harry by his arm] You're out of here. You're out.
[They run into Adele, accompanied by Dr. Walcott and Captain Lippincott]
Harry: [surprised] Mrs. P.! What are you doing here?
Dr. Barbara Walcott: Do you always call your wife Mrs. P.?
Harry: Oh, uh... How you doing, sugar tits? I missed you.
Adele: This man is a fraud. And that box belongs to my husband. He stole it from us.
Captain Lippincott: Hand it over, buddy.
Harry: Uh-uh. I swore I'd only give this box to Penny.
Captain Lippincott: Gimme the box!
Harry: Here you go.

Harry: Whoa, Lloyd. Check out the hotties at 12:00.
Lloyd: That's three hours away. Why can't I check 'em out now?

Cast[edit]

See also[edit]

External links[edit]

Wikipedia
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