Entourage (season 1)
Entourage is an original comedy series on HBO that chronicles the rise of a hot young movie star named Vincent Chase and his childhood friends from Queens as they navigate the unfamiliar terrain of Hollywood. Vince's entourage consists of: Eric, his closest friend, who acts as his manager; Johnny "Drama" Chase, his older brother, an avid cook and a struggling actor in his own right; and Turtle, who is simply living the high life riding Vince's coattails and serving as chauffeur.
Entourage (Pilot) [1.01]
- Eric: Could you get laid without Vince? That's the question.
- Turtle: Do I give a fuck? That's the answer!
- Vince: That's what good actors do, they listen. Right, Johnny?
- Drama: What?
The Review [1.02]
- [The guys are talking about their "first time."]
- Turtle: Sure, Eric... you had to beg for pussy on prom night.
- Eric: Yeah, but I begged my GIRLFRIEND, Turtle... not some $40 hooker who declined my mother's credit card.
- Jessica Alba: [welcoming the guys to a party] Bar's over there. Girls: everywhere.
Talk Show [1.03]
- [Turtle and Drama try out a sample of Home Video Solutions with the manager, Rufus]
- Rufus: Who do you work for?
- Turtle: Vincent Chase.
- Rufus: He did great.
- Drama: Maybe you recognize me. I'm his brother.
- Rufus: No.
- [Jimmy Kimmel notices Vince and Sara Foster holding hands]
- Jimmy Kimmel: I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to ask you not to hold hands. FCC says no overt displays of affection. If you could just separate them, [Vince and Sara Foster separate hands] thank you.
- Vince: We just had sex about five minutes ago. [crowd cheers]
Date Night [1.04]
- [E is not happy seeing Turtle's date doing a money shot at Vince]
- Turtle: E, the movie's huge bro. Relax, Joanne says its destined to be a classic.
- Eric: Oh, Joanne says its destined to be a classic. She's destined to be in a fucking insane asylum!
- [Justine Chapin and Vince are flirting in a club.]
- Justine: You're gonna have to work for it.
- Vince: I got into this business so I wouldn't have to work.
The Script and the Sherpa [1.05]
- The Sherpa: The Earth is moving. Did you feel that? Everything. All the time. Dimensions we can't even see. Everything is evolving. Turtle, you're a dove.
- Turtle: That's cool. Can I hit that, Sherp? Thanks.
- Eric: You afraid of getting busted?
- The Sherpa: Busted? I'm entrusted, man. I don't steal. I heal. We're not getting stoned. We're getting honed. My probation officer's one of my best customers. I'm a prisoner. I'm a prisoner of, uh, war. War on Drugs. It's all so negative, man. I mean, the Man's most positive positive-tive is a nega-tive. It's a mega-nega-tive. Right? [shouts] Viking Quest! Let them be low. We are getting high. We're not getting fucked down. We're getting fucked up.
- [Turtle inspects the Uggs he had Shauna order "for Vince"]
- Turtle: These aren't Taiwanese knockoffs are they?
- Shauna: Would I do that to you?
- Drama: No, those are real goods. Look at the sheepskin. You can tell these babies were born and raised in the Outback.
Busey and the Beach [1.06]
- [Enraged over Josh Weinstein's tip to Eric about Ari allegedly ordering a shutdown of the Queens Boulevard project, Ari finds Josh at a beach house talking to some people in the middle of a party]
- Ari: Does your boss know you're using his house? [crowd quiets down] 'Cause I put a call into him. He and I went to school together. I helped him cheat on his Economics final. That's how he got his degree, he owes me big-time.
- Josh Weinstein: You called my boss?
- Ari: Absolutely. You know another class I took at Harvard? Business Ethics. I don't steal other people's motherfucking clients, but in your case I'm going to make an exception. I'm going to take everyone: your B-level sitcom stars, your reality-TV writers...when I'm done with you, you're gonna be repping sideshow freaks. You need Jo-Jo the Dog-Face-Bitch-Boy? Call Josh Weinfuck, the lightweight pen-stealing fuckface. [takes drink from Josh, sips it and throws it away] That's awful.
- Gary Busey: You are a gut maggot with no guts.
- Ari: Geez, you're gonna spin off this planet. I love it!
The Scene [1.07]
- [The gang talks about Vince's gay role in Queen's Boulevard]
- Johnny Drama: If you play gay or retarded you get an Oscar. I'd take in the ass for an Oscar.
- Turtle: You'd take in the ass for a guest spot on The Hughleys.
- Drama: That's not even on the air anymore.
- [During a private screening for Billy Walsh's indie movie Daze, Drama notices his date looking glum.]
- Johnny Drama: What's the matter? You don't feel good?
- Girl: I'm a little depressed. I'm getting evicted. I'm late on my rent again.
- Drama: How much is rent?
- Girl: $1,200.
- Drama: I got your rent money right here. Let's go swimming.
- Turtle: I thought you don't pay for sex.
- Drama: I'm not paying for sex. I'm paying her rent, jerk-off.
- Turtle: Yeah, right.
New York [1.08]
- [E has noticed Emily being rather cold to him while visiting Ari's office]
- Eric: [to Ari] What's wrong with her?
- Ari: From now on, you ask for my permission before you bang one of my assistants.
- Eric: How'd you know about that?
- Ari: 'Cause I know all. I could have told you this would end badly. Now I got to fire her so you don't feel weird.
- Eric: No, don't fire her.
- Ari: Alright, I'll just sexually harass her until she quits.
- [Drama auditions for a role in CSI: Minneapolis]
- Drama: You look familiar.
- Audition Producer: You auditioned for me a couple of years ago.
- Drama: Oh, yeah, yeah. How did that go?
- Audition Producer: [pauses] You know...
- Drama: Yeah, you can't book 'em all.