Entourage (season 7)

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Entourage is an original comedy series on HBO that chronicles the rise of a hot young movie star named Vincent Chase and his childhood friends from Queens as they navigate the unfamiliar terrain of Hollywood. Vince's entourage consists of: Eric, his closest friend, who acts as his manager; Johnny "Drama" Chase, his older brother, an avid cook and a struggling actor in his own right; and Turtle, who is simply living the high life riding Vince's coattails and serving as chauffeur.

Stunted [7.01]

[Ari tries to visit the set of The Takeover to talk about Vince attempting a critical stunt, but a call from Mrs. Ari holds him back]

Ari: Even with a million-man army you sometimes have to do the grunt work yourself. Saddam Hussein had to hang a few without his assistants.

[Drama rants about a lack of offers on his holding deal]

Drama: They gave me a holding deal!

Ari: The guy who grills my hot dogs at Carney's had a holding deal in 1978.

Buzzed [7.02]

[Ari is impressed with Lizzie Grant's performance during negotiations with the NFL]

Ari: What do you think of the name the LA Gold?

Lizzie: I like it.

Ari: I love it!!

Lizzie: Congratulations!

Ari: Congratulations to you! Huh? [embraces Lizzie and begins dancing with her] You killed it in there by the way! Maybe I'll make you a cheerleader there, who knows?

Lizzie: I prefer a GM.

Ari: Whatever you want ... [sees Mrs Ari come in] You won't believe it, baby.

Mrs Ari: Hello, I am Ari's wife.

Drama: Look, E, I know we've had our ups and downs but I want you to know I appreciate this.

Eric: Have we had downs?

Drama: No, but we probably will if we work together.

Dramedy [7.03]

[Mrs Ari expresses her displeasure at having seen Ari with Lizzie Grant]

Mrs Ari: The slut that ruined your best friend's career and marriage is still working in your office and if that was not enough, for some reason you were spinning her around like you just won Dancing with the Stars.

Ari: Why, I-

Mrs Ari: Why were you spinning her around?

Ari: I just got the call from the NFL and I was excited. I have dreamt since I was a little kid of owning a football team. I would have spun Lloyd around if he was in front of me - and if I could lift him.

Mrs Ari: I don't like that girl, Ari, and I don't like her one bit! I still don't understand why you didn't fire her last year.

Ari: If I was gonna fire anyone it should have been Andrew.

Mrs Ari: You know what? Maybe you should have fired them both.

[Drama catches Vince scrambling out of the bed naked with a woman when Scott and E's tussle leads to his $200,000 allosaurus skull being shattered in the process.]

Drama: [notices hat covering Vince's penis] That's not my hat, is it bro?

Tequila Sunrise [7.04]

[Ari tries to talk to Lizzie over her resignation because he did not promote her as head of the TV department]

Ari Gold: Lizzie, can I talk to you for a second?

Lizzie Grant: About what, Ari?

Ari: I was hoping that we could part on good terms.

Lizzie: [snickers] you can go fuck yourself, Ari.

Ari: Now is that nice? I'm preparing a nice severance package for you.

Lizzie: Wow.

Ari: You don't want me angry when I'm writing you a check?

Lizzie: No, I don't. What I want you to do Is shove that severance package up your fucking ass.

Ari: If you were my daughter -

Lizzie: If I was your daughter I would blow my fucking brains out. Look, Ari, you might think I'm some sort of cute little pushover, but you screwed me and I am going to do everything I can to pay you back.

Ari: Is it that time of the month for you, Lizzie? Because I think that your hormones are making your brain forget who you are threatening!!

Lizzie: You don't scare me, Ari, not even a little bit.

[E is not pleased with Scott Lavin trying to work with Vince]

E: We've been over this, Scott. You and I don't run Vince. I run Vince.

Lavin: You are unbelievable. Are you really worried that I'm gonna steal your client?

E: He's not just my client, he's my best friend since I'm five years old.

Lavin: Oh, so you're worried I'm gonna steal your best friend? I'm worried you're gonna steal my best friend. You can't compete with me there, Eric! I'm way more fun than you are. I'm single. You are old and an almost-married man. Let youth be served!

E: Will you listen to yourself? You're such an idiot. I'm trying to be polite, Scott, But it's getting harder and harder. Stay out of my way.

Bottoms Up [7.05]

[Aaron Sorkin visits Ari but notices something odd about his behavior]

Aaron Sorkin: I don't know why you're being so aggressive. I'm just is, Andrew coming back?

Ari: Have we not had a good six months without him?

Sorkin: Answer the fucking question.

Ari: No, he is not coming back. He is a coke-fiend sex addict who wrote checks out of this company's account to buy hookers. So no, he will never work here again. Addiction's a disease.

Sorkin: You have no sympathy. I have sympathy.

Ari: I'm just trying to help your career.

Sorkin: My career's in great shape.

Ari: It's gotten even better since you got here, right?

Sorkin: I like that Lizzie.

Ari: Well don't, because she's bad news.

Sorkin: If I've gotta have an agent, why can't I have one who's attractive - and bright and attractive?

Ari: You know she's not gonna fuck you, right?

Sorkin: I'm certain that's not what I meant.

Ari: You know she fucked Andrew?

Sorkin: Seriously?

Ari: That's what caused his whole spiral. It wasn't the drugs. It was her evil pussy that lured him in. That's why I have no sympathy.

[Drama's on the warpath because Bob Saget took a script for a show he wanted to do with John Stamos]

Drama: Get down here, Bob, and take your beating.

Bob Saget: Drama, you're acting insane. Put the bat down.

Hooker: Yeah, leave him alone. Bob is a good man.

Drama: Yeah, a good man who's trying to steal my life!

Saget: I didn't steal anything!

Drama: Oh yeah? A guy writes a script for me, and you just swoop in and take it? Now get down here before I start smashing cars!

Hooker: Please don't hit the Volkswagen! That one is mine.

Saget: Who says he wrote it for you?

Drama: Roger Jay says.

Saget: The writer? I know Roger, Drama. He told that to everybody. He gave it to me six months ago. I just never opened it.

Drama: Yeah right!

Saget: Come inside. We'll call Roger together. I'll prove it to you.

Drama: Are you kidding?

Bob Saget: [raises right hand] My hand to God.

Drama: Jesus Christ.

Hooker: I'll give you a blowjob if it'll make you feel better. [Saget looks at her] What? I'm just trying to make him feel better.

Hair [7.06]

[Lloyd sees Ari, Babs Miller, and company counsel Jim Lefkowitz take stock of Lizzie Grant's recent defection to Amanda Daniels with a lot of blackmail]

Ari: Lloyd!

Lloyd: Yes?

Ari: What would you say about my treatment of you over the last five years?

Lloyd: Treatment?

Ari: This is Jim Lefkowitz, Lloyd. Our attorney.

Lloyd: Attorney? What's going on?

Ari: The lovely Lizzie Grant may sue me.

Jim Lefkowitz: And you, Lloyd, and everyone who works here may be asked to describe how Ari treats his employees. So what would you say?

Lloyd: Ari has always been gracious and lovely, fair, and reasonable. This has been a dreamlike job from minute one.

Jim: And would you say that if you were under oath, facing a perjury charge and possible jail time?

Lloyd: Oh God, I can't do time, Ari. I don't think anybody in my family could. I'm sorry.

[Billy Walsh finally meets with E for the first time in years]

Billy Walsh: I really appreciate you taking the time to meet with me.

E: I didn't have much choice, Billy.

Walsh: We all have choices and I've made some bad ones.

E: Yeah. What can I do for you, Billy?

Walsh: I need you to help guide me out of the toilet like you did Vince.

E:Why would you want me?

Walsh: Because, man, you were the first guy to believe in me. You found my first script, you got me Vince, you got us the money. And as much as I was hard on you, I always knew you were the guy with the good eye.

E: We can't work together, Billy.

Walsh: Why not?

E: Because there's too much baggage and past.

Walsh: Pretend we've never met.

E: How could I do that?

Walsh: Well, essentially we haven't. I don't drink anymore. I don't do drugs. I don't curse.

E: You don't curse?

Walsh:No, I've spent the last three years becoming an ordained minister in Santa Fe. Got myself right and I want to work.

E: You want Vince?

Walsh:I want you to help me. I'll do anything - commercials, tv, anything. I've changed.

E: Still got that Pablo Escobar tattoo on your back?

Walsh: No, I had it scraped off with a Bowie knife in a ritual smokehouse ceremony. [looks at E] No, it's still there.

Tequila and Coke [7.07]

[Billy Walsh is explaining the concept of Johnny's Bananas to Drama and E]

Billy Walsh: Okay, [shows character sketches] so Johnny's ex-wife is a nasty little black widow spider monkey named Julie. She's getting remarried to a baboon named Ronald. It's a big ceremony. It's the talk of the town, but when Johnny stops paying alimony, she tells him it was only a love ceremony; That it's not legally binding and that she's taking him to court. And then... Johnny goes bananas.

E: [laughs] Tell me what happens. Does he win?

Walsh: You'll have to read it.

Drama: Who cares if he wins, and I'm not reading it 'cause I lose!

[NFL head Jerry Jones calls up Ari over the Deadline Hollywood expose of his office behavior]

Ari: Jerry, how are you?

Jerry Jones: Better than you, it seems. I've just gotten off the phone with our publicist.

Ari: It's all lies and rumors, my friend. Listen, I can clean it all up.

Jones: It doesn't matter. I don't do scandal. The NFL doesn't do scandal. It's too bad. We were excited about this.

Ari: So was I.

Jones: Good luck with this thing.

Ari: Thank you. [Jones hangs up]

Sniff Sniff Gang Bang [7.08]

Ari: If you don't want to talk and you don't want to have sex, what else is there to do in here?

Mrs. Gold: Do you want to talk?

Ari: I'd rather have sex.

[E confronts Scott Lavin over supplying Vince with crack]

E: [reacting to Scott's quips about Kevin Love leaving his office] I don't give a shit! Are you fucking kidding me? Vince's has never done coke a day in his life suddenly you come around, he's hopping out of planes and showing him to important meetings out of his mind?

Scott Lavin: Wait a minute, that was not my fault.

E: Oh really, whose fucking fault was it, Scott? We've worked way too hard to bring Vince back from the dead, you're trying to fuck it up, stay away from him. [leaves office]

Porn Scenes from an Italian Restaurant [7.09]

[Turtle gets a strange call from Carlos of Avion]

Carlos: Why are people from Texas inquiring about my tequila?

Turtle: What people?

Carlos: Texas people. I don't like being spied on, Turtle.

Turtle: Come on Carlos, don't be paranoid

Carlos: Who have you been talking to?

Turtle: You told me to find money.

Carlos: What, when?

Turtle: Said you wanted to expand, and I told you I'd find the money!

Carlos: That was a joke.

Turtle: It wasn't. It was Mark Cuban, the owner of the Dallas Mavericks.

Carlos: I know who he is.

[Ari fumes away at Amanda Daniels inside an Italian restaurant]

Ari: You're sorry, sorry for what? [stands up] You're sorry for leaking slanderous, out-of-context -

Mrs. Ari: Sit down.

Ari: [gestures hand to Mrs Ari] - nonsense about me, huh, and for rifling through all of my hard work to steal my football team?

Amanda Daniels: No, no, your false-

Ari: Fuck you.

Mrs. Ari: Ari!

Ari: No no, hold on a second! I've never hit a woman in my entire life, but I swear to God in my mind, right now, I am pummeling your smug face to a pulp for everything you've done to me, my career, and my family. But not to worry, alright because I will prevail, because I'm a winner, and you're a whore with more cleavage than talent, and I WILL NOT STOP UNTIL I DESTROY YOU!!

Restaurant Manager: Mr Gold, I have to insist that you leave.

Ari: Excellent choice, because I have a life to destroy!

Lose Yourself [7.10]

[While the gang waits to do an intervention for Vince, Scott Lavin wants to talk to E about a coup at Murray Berenson]

E: Bullshit.

Scott Lavin: No, it's not bullshit. I got most of the company with me, 'kay? I was going to tell you, in fact, I tried to tell you, but with your fiancee, your attention-

E: Scott, listen to me. That'll never happen.

Scott: It is happening, with or without you.

[Ari tries to get his sister-in-law's cooperation to plan a surprise party for Mrs Ari]

Ari: I do what I do and I'm pretty good about it, I'd spend every last dime that I have to show her how much I care about her.

Marcie: She wants a husband, Ari, she doesn't want a fucking party!

Ari: It's a grand gesture!

Marcie: You're an asshole.