Get Smart

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Get Smart (1965–1970) is an American comedy TV series satirizing the secret agent genre. The series, written and created by Mel Brooks and Buck Henry, won seven Emmy Awards and was nominated for an additional fourteen Emmys and two Golden Globe Awards.

Repeated lines[edit]

  • ... and loving it! ~Maxwell Smart, often-used response to dangerous activities
  • Listen, [NAME]. I uh, hope I wasn't out of line with that crack about [being a jerk, monkey, etc.] ~Maxwell Smart, after calling someone a name and then attacking them with unremarkable results
  • Would you believe... ~Maxwell Smart, in frequent attempts to backpedal from an unconvincing lie
  • The old [something] Trick. ~Maxwell Smart, to make anything seem like an often used trick.
  • That's the second (insert correct superlative: biggest. longest etc.) (insert object, i.e.: arrow, gun etc.) I've ever seen. ~Maxwell Smart, when commenting on something highly unusual.
  • If you don't mind, 99, I'd like to figure this out myself. ~Maxwell Smart, after getting a suggestion from 99 on what to do next, which is followed by him repeating 99's suggestion.
  • Zis is KAOS! We don't (insert silly action here) here! ~Siegfried, berating Shtarker for acting silly and/or stupid.
  • Sorry about that, Chief. ~Maxwell Smart
  • Missed it by that much. ~Maxwell Smart
  • If only he used his (a tool or special ability here) for niceness, instead of evil. ~Maxwell Smart
  • Activate the Cone of Silence. ~Chief
  • Once again the forces of virtue have triumphed over the forces of rottenness. ~Maxwell Smart
  • Good thinking, 99. ~Maxwell Smart

Identified episodes[edit]

Season 1, Episode 1: Mr.Big Original Air Date—18 September 1965[1]

Smart: At the moment, seven Coast Guard cutters are converging on us. Would you believe it?
Mr Big: I find that hard to believe.
Smart: Hmmm . . . Would you believe six?
Mr Big: I don't think so.
Smart: How about two cops in a rowboat?

Season 5, Episode 22: Smartacus Original Air Date—27 February 1970[2]

Smart: The old Professor Peter Peckinpah all purpose anti-personnel Peckinpah pocket pistol under the toupee trick.

Unidentified episodes[edit]

Chief: Now listen carefully: [gives a series of complex instructions] Did you get that?
Max: Not all of it.
Chief: Which part didn't you get?
Max: The part after 'Now listen carefully'.

Chief: You don't happen to have any aspirin on you, do you, Max?
Max: Why, Chief? Getting a headache?
Chief: Only when you're around.

Max: Missed it by that much. [Corresponding hand gesture to demonstrate by how little he'd missed it]

Max: Don't tell me [some undesirable news]
[Colleague confirms it verbatim.]
Max: I asked you not to tell me that.

Max: Well, well, if it isn't my old friend the Craw.
The Claw: [exasperated, in a distinctive Chinese accent] Not the Craw, the Craw!

Harry Hoo: [after a trivial explanation] ... Amazing!

99: If we take the left exit, turn around and come up on them, we'll be able to surprise them.
Max: [rolling eyes] 99, if you don't mind, I'd like to be the one that plans this.
99: Right Max.
Max: You see, what we're going to do is take the left exit, turn around and come up on them, which should surprise them.
99: Good thinking Max.

The Diplomat's Daughter[edit]

Max: Can you give me a good example?
[99 performs various dances.]
Max: Now how about a bad one?

Max: Chief, we must use the Cone of Silence if we are to continue this conversation.
Chief: Max, the Cone of Silence never works.
Max: Still we must use it.
[The Cone of Silence lowers over them.]
Chief: Can you hear me?
Max: What?

Max: Oh, yes, I'm a big music lover. Would you believe that I once listened to three weeks of Beethoven? Would you believe it? Three weeks!
Villain: I find that quite hard to believe.
Max: Would you believe (thinks a while) Two weeks of Bach?
Villain: I don't think so.
Max: Would you believe... one hour of Looney Tunes?


The Nude Bomb (1980)[edit]

Max: You might as well surrender, because at this very moment, you are being surrounded by 5,000 crack Swiss troops. Would you believe it? 5,000 crack Swiss troops.
Villain: I find that very hard to believe, Mr Smart.
Max: Oh. Well, would you believe 150 Tyrolean skijumpers?
Villain: No, I wouldn't.
Max: How 'bout two St. Bernards in heat?

Get Smart (2008)[edit]

Main Article: Get Smart (film)

External links[edit]

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