Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay
- [Discovers that Kumar has brought weed on the airplane] You brought weed on the fucking airplane?!
- Watch out for cheetahs! This is cheetah turf!
- Oh yeah! Yeah, it's sweet! 'Cuz we're fugitives. Driving a yellow convertible with the top down, dressed like assholes!
- [Dressed in KKK clothes after coming to a KKK barbeque and was asked to say 1 racist thing you did in the week] I did knee an Indian guy in the balls.
- Jesus, Kumar. I don't like it so much.
- [reciting the poem 'The Square Root of 3'] I fear that I will always be / A lonely number like root three / A three is all that's good and right, / Why must my three keep out of sight / Beneath a vicious square root sign, / I wish instead I were a nine / For nine could thwart this evil trick, / with just some quick arithmetic / I know I'll never see the sum, as 1.7321 / Such is my reality, a sad irrationality / When hark! What is this I see, / Another square root of a three / Has quietly come waltzing by, / Together now we multiply / To form a number we prefer, / Rejoicing as an integer / We break free from our mortal bonds / And with a wave of magic wands / Our square root signs become unglued / And love for me has been renewed.
- Dude, whats a blumpkin?
- Meet the smokeless bong
- Ugh, smells like burnt asshole
- Its not a bomb, its a bong
- You fucking pissed on me, you racist fuck!
- Dude, this chick is giving me such a boner. Its awesome!
- His dick smells like shit dude!
- You guys wanna know something real fucked up and awesome that I did? I took a Korean guy's toothbrush and I rubbed it all over my dick!
- What in the nigger was that?
- [as he falls to his death] FUCK YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUU!!!!
- Hey Derek, could I get another- [sees Harold and Kumar escaping]] WHAT THE FUCK?!
- Zip it Hello Kitty !
- [Seeing Harold and Kumar in custody] Never thought I'd see the day. North Korea and Al Qaeda working together.
- Old Lady:(sees Kumar is smoking a homemade bong) T-T-T-TERRORIST!
- [The passengers begin to scream and panic]
- Harold: No, ma'am. He's not a terrorist, he's just an idiot.
- Kumar: This is just a bong.
- Male Passenger: He said he's got a bomb!
- Male Passenger 1: He's gonna blow up the plane!
- Kumar: It's not a bomb, it's just a bong.
- [An undercover flight marshal draws a pistol and tackles Kumar; the bong flies forward, hits the floor and shatters, releasing smoke]
- Businessman: Poison gas!
- [People start to panic and flee towards the cockpit]
- Marshal: [To Kumar] You picked the wrong plane, you terrorist fuck!
- Harold: Hey! Hey what are you doing!
- [A second flight marshal tackles Harold]
- Marshal: There are three, air marshals on board, three!
- Kumar: We are not terrorists sir! That's a bong, not a bomb!
- Marshal: Shut up!
- Marshal 2: [Draws Pistol] I got this one!
- Harold: Ow! I'm in great amount of pain, sir!
- [As the passengers slowly calm down, the first Marshal looks at the crowd]
- Marshal: Everybody relax. Just calm down everything's under control! Tell them to turn the plane around; these two assholes are going back to the US!