Hedwig: How did some slip of a girlyboy from Communist East Berlin become the internationally ignored song stylist barely standing before you?
Hedwig: She came up to me after the show and I thought, "This lady wants a piece of me." So, you know, I was alone, I had nothing in my hand, I was gonna go for the eyes... She came at me from both sides and she gave me a fucking hug.
Hedwig: Tommy, can you hear me? From this milkless tit you sucked the very business we call show!
Hedwig: I scraped by with odd jobs, mostly the jobs we call blow.
TV: Good things come to those who wait.
Hedwig: I lost my job at the base PX, and I lost my gag reflex. You do the math.
Hedwig: It is clear that I must find my other half. But is it a he or a she? What does this person look like? Identical to me? Or somehow complementary? Does my other half have what I don't? Did he get the looks? The luck? The love? Were we really separated forceably or did he just run off with the good stuff? Or did I? Will this person embarrass me? What about sex? Is that how we put ourselves back together again? Or can two people actually become one again?
Hedwig: I grew up listening to the American masters: Toni Tennille, Debbie Boone, Anne Murray--who was actually a Canadian working in the American idiom. Then there were the crypto-homo rockers: Lou Reed, Iggy Pop, David Bowie--who was actually an idiom working in America and Canada.
Hedwig:(singing) My sex change operation got botched/ My guardian angel fell asleep on the watch/ Now all I've got is a Barbie Doll Crotch/ I got an angry inch!
Hedwig:(singing) Now, there was three sexes, one looked like two men back to back/ called the Children of the Sun/ and similar in shape and girth was the Children of the Earth/ They looked like two girls rolled up in one/ And the Children of the Moon looked like a fork shoved on a spoon/ They was part sun, part earth, part daughter, part son.
Hedwig: He played me songs. The bands were new to me: Boston, Kansas, America, Europe, Asia. Travel exhausts me.
Hedwig: You don't put a bra in a dryer. It warps!
Tommy: Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior? Hedwig: No, but I love his work.
Hedwig: I stumble naked through the ruins, back towards blander, less complicated confections, leaving in my wake a trail of rainbow carnage.
Hedwig: I got kicked out of university after delivering a brilliant lecture on the aggressive influence of German philosophy on rock and roll entitled "You, Kant, Always Get What You Want"
Hedwig: I tried singing once, back in Berlin; they threw tomatoes. After the show I had a nice salad.