Diane: There's one thing every little kid knows. Daddies mean fun; mommies mean business.
Wayne: You think I'm just some fun guy from Fresno who tinkered with crack pot ideas in his attic? Well let me tell you something, this country was built on the shoulders of people who tinkered with crack pot ideas in their attics, basements and backyards. Alexander Graham Bell worked in a two room flat!
Clifford Sterling: Young man, don't presume to stand there and lecture me about great minds and great inventors. In all my years I've never worked with anyone who is a fool and I don't intend to start now. So, Charles, you're fired.
Dr. Charles Hendrickson: What?
Clifford Sterling: You're fired! So, Szalinski, what is your plan to get your kid back to normal by bed time?
Wayne: Mr. Sterling, sir, I can return my son back to normal!
Clifford Sterling: You can?
Dr. Charles Hendrickson: With that? Coca Cola bottles? Perhaps some chewing gum and twine?
Diane: Just who do you think you are talking to him like that?
Wayne: Diane, let me handle this. Who do you think you are talking to me like that?
Wayne: Oh no. Honey, I shrunk the kids.
Wayne: I blew up the baby!
Adam: Mama fall down! Mama!
Nick: [appears from behind Adam] How'd she take it?
Wayne: About like usual.
Adam: Mama sleeping?
Mandy: [seeing how large Adam has gotten] There is no way I'm changing those diapers.
Wayne: We're his parents, we'll handle this. Diane, how do we handle this?
Adam: I'll fix it!
Diane: Don't fix it, Adam, just put down Mommy's coffee table.
Nick: Dad, were you ever popular in school?
Wayne: You bet. I was captain of the astronomy team three years in a row. We were happenin' guys.
Nick: This is your last warning.
[Adam chucks a lamp at him]
Nick: All right, I'll give you one more warning.
Diane: Why are you closing the shutters?
Wayne: So one of the neighbors doesn't look in, see a 7 foot baby, and call the National Enquirer.
Adam: [hears the doorbell ringing] Doorbell!
Diane: Who's that?
Wayne: One of the neighbors.
Diane: [sarcastically] So far your plan has been working perfectly.
Diane: I don't understand any of this.
Wayne: Behind every electrical object, there's a magnetic force field.
Clifford Sterling: That's what's causing the baby to grow.
Marshall Brooks: Excuse me, but do these electrical object include neon lights?
Wayne: Yeah, why?
Marshall Brooks: Your son is heading for Las Vegas.
Diane, Wayne, Clifford Sterling: Uh-oh.
[after Wayne finds Nick and Mandy in the shrunken car]
Wayne: Found them. I think we'd better give them a while though.
[Diane has grown to giant size and catches Charles Hendrickson in a helicopter menacing Adam with a tranquiller gun]
Diane: [to Charles] BACK OFF!
Nick: Adam! Don't eat us!
Adam: Toy car...
Marshall Brooks: [he is driving an ice cream truck with a cone on the hood] The next thing I knew, he grabbed it right off the truck.
Captain Ed Myerson: What did he do with it?
Marshall Brooks: What do you think?
[the cone, made of metal, has a bite taken out of it and is short-circuited]