Investigation Led by Experts

Investigation Led by ZnaToKi, or Investigation Led by Experts (Russian: Следствие ведут ЗнаТоКи) was a popular 1971-1989 Soviet detective TV-series with two Russian series (2002 and 2003).

Case #1: Black Broker (1971)

Dialogue

• Tomin: Zinulya, do you know what I found out about you? It's very curious: "kibrit" means "matches" in Bulgarian.

Kibrit: So what?

Tomin: Just for the "Fun facts" section.

Kibrit: Okay, next time I'll find out what "Tomin" means in Turkish.

<...>

Kibrit: By the way, for the "Fun facts" section: "Tomin" means "smart guy" in Turkish.

---

• Kibrit: Are you interested in the possible conclusion about the author of the letters? ... All three letters were typed in a quiet home environment. The typewriter is Moscow, old one, has not been cleaned for a long time. It's printed somehow, nonprofesional, by same person. It's a woman, young or middle-aged.

Znamensky: Blonde or brunette?

Kibrit: I will not write this in the official conclusion, but I think she's a brunette.

Case #2: What Is Your True Name (1971)

Tomin

• It's called - my job is to lie, your job is to write it down.
• It happens that screw loosed, but here is the next stage: no screws or nuts anymore.

"Surgeon" Kowalski

• Kowalski performs smooth operations to remove excess money. That's why they called me Surgeon.
• There are fourteen billion cells in the human brain. If each one came up with something worth even a penny, that would be a not bad money!
• Is a human ever satisfied? There is not enough money in freedom, not enough freedom in prison. But in general, all right, no complaints, it could be worse. There are respectable people in my cell. There is even one professor who is sitting there, he accepted people to the university for bribes. Good guys.

Case #3: Red-handed (1971)

Znamenski

• If there are lost sheep, then Silin is a lost mammoth.

Tomin

• The defendant must leave us with an enlightened soul and with faith in the nobility of the servants of the law.
• I'm probably at the wrong time, but it's purely professional property. All my charges are sure that I always come at the wrong time.
• I didn't punch you. I move you aside.
• For my money I want to eat a sausage, not a sausage's granny!

Dialogue

• Znamenski: Did you think he had a tulip growing in his soul?

Tomin: Tulip or not tulip, but if you been nabbed, don't be rude!

---

• Znamenski: Is it your official testimony?

"Smarthead": Officially, I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to breathe near you.

Znamenski: Well, that's a standard statement for the first meeting. It usually passes in a day, or in a week; in your case, it will pass much earlier, (to Tomin) what do you think?

Tomin: I think, in about forty minutes, when the emotional shock passes.

Znamenski: Let's trust an experienced eye.

Case #5: Dinosaur (1972)

Ignat, painter

• Creativity freedom of is the recognition of the money necessity. I was given an order, I create.

Mikheev

• The law wants everyone to be the same and act the same. The law is needed to protect the weak, so that they too get something in this life. The strong don't need the law. For example, I am a wolf, so why should I work in the same team with Little Red Riding Hood? She eats kefir, and I want meat.

Dialogue

• Znamenski: (looking at Ignat's paintings) Are these fishes?

Ignat: How did you guess?

Znamenski: It's just my profession.

Case #6: Blackmail (1972)

Kudryashov (restaurant manager from Case# 4, now prisoner)

• You see, Pal Palych, when you go to work in the frosty morning, you don't give a damn about these diamonds. It would be nice to have warm long johns. If you know, there are those with nap. Believe it or not, Pal Palych, not a single chick remembers good. They won't even send me cigarettes.

Blackmailer

• The noose must be broken before it strangles you.
• I only believe in myself and cash.
• I showed you a police card that you thought was fake, you showed me a gun. How can there be any trust here?

Prakhova

• He became smarter, he wanted to be richer. It's a vicious circle!
• (to Blackmailer) Do you think the police rented this toy (pocket gun), all this furniture, and me to boot from the museum, so they could prank you before you were arrested? Such smart eyes, and such stupid thoughts!

Other characters

• She's not an old woman, but the doomsday. She talked a lot, but said nothing.
• He has Titus syndrome... "Titus, come to work" - "My stomach hurts" - "Titus, come to dinner" - "Where's my big spoon?"

Case #7: Accident (1972)

Dialogue

• Kibrit: They gave me a piece of paint from car body, a few tiny flakes. Do you want me to see the taxi number on them?

Znamenski: Yes, and ideally the driver's name too.

---

• Sotnikov: You should at least consult with your authorities.

Znamenski: I am an investigator and I consulted with the Criminal Code.

Case #8: Escape (1973)

Bagrov

• The engine is roaring inside me. I need something to do... I can chop enough firewood for a month in an half of hour. Fix the fence, cover the roof, that's all is piece of cake for me. And what next?!
• Death came for him here, and he, you see, is on a business trip.

Case #10: Strike Back (1975)

Vorontsov, the city dump manager

• (kindly) Today, my friends, we have a kind of anniversary. And I would like to congratulate you all heartily. As the learned people say, quantity has turned into quality. The total amount of thefts we have committed has already reached a level that is provided for by a different article of the Criminal Code than before. And this article says: up to the capital punishment. So from now on, you and I are not just thieves, but extremely dangerous ones. Agree, this already obliges us a lot. <...> So, let's live quietly. We work for another year, then go each in his own way. But for now, no rustling of banknotes. And if someone doesn't like it, then I advise you to stand with your face to the wall and sniff a bricks for long time. I ask you not to forget that a breeze from the grave is blowing on us all now. Let's not catch a cold!
• I must tell you, Comrade Colonel, that the dump isn't obstacle for philosophy. Especially since sooner or later everything ends up in the dump. ... So I walk along the scraps of trampled posters, I step, I step on familiar faces... I studied with this girl together... I step on! I went on tour with this man together - I step on! And these two, who smile from a puddle now, once worked together, became famous together... and then they argued over which size of letters to use for their names - and that's it. As a result, one had a stroke, the other a heart attack, and the worst thing is I am not sad, not a bit, not a tiny drop! I just laugh. After all, I myself once put on a tailcoat, sang in rapture "Thro' the iron balustrade put thy wondrous tender foot." And now I understand perfectly well what these iron balustrade is worth. They even give a dime for an empty half-liter bottle. But these premieres, these applause... they are not even on the junk dealers' price list.
• Pawns must die with a sense of gratitude.
• No, he's not good, Pal Palych Znamensky. He's dangerous, this soulful man. He's looking at you like he stole with you together.

Znamenski

• It is believed that I suffer greatly, but today I looked in the mirror: what a mug! Like in the advert, "I eat jam, so happy I am."

Margarita Nikolayevna Znamenskaya

• Do you know how I got married? It's very funny. He kept bringing me flowers and kept talking about botany. And I thought: well, I'll wait until winter, something will happen in winter. And suddenly - it had already snowed, and he showed up with flowers, with chrysanthemums. And he immediately started explaining to me about some special late variety. I couldn't stand it and said: "Pavel Petrovich, I'm getting married." He turned white, my honey, like those chrysanthemums... he said: "Congratulations, and who are you marrying?" And I said: "You."

Dialogue

• Kibrit: It happened that I'm getting married.

Tomin: ...And what will it be now - Zna-To-Ki?!

Kibrit: I swear not to change my last name.

---

• Vorontsov: I have a dump. Please bring me what you will, full wagon of leaky boots, last year's snow, girls' dreams, torpedo vessel - I'll take it! It's just a dump!

Col. Skopin: Hmm, and what would you do with a torpedo vessel?

Vorontsov: What, do you have a junk one?

---

• Tomin: Evgeny Evgenievich and Fedya, his bodyguard and adjutant... A plump, elderly gentleman? Kinda landlord? Well, all he needs is a cigar?

Lyalya: Yes.

Tomin: Vorontsov.

Lyalya: I don't know his last name.

Tomin: Vorontsov! (laughs) Lyalya, you make me merry. It's Vorontsov! Bodyguard and adjutant, a figure of state importance, a secret job... It's Vorontsov, Lyalya!

Lyalya: Do you know each other?

Tomin: Hold on tight to your chair. Your Evgeny Evgenievich is in charge of the city dump.

Case #11: At Any Price (1977)

Kholin, dentist

• I'm not a smart man. I don't have time for that. I make teeths for people! Anyone who needs it, you welcome! Even in three rows, like a shark has!!!

Case #12: "Bouquet" Is Standing By (1978)

Dialogue

• Kirpichev: In your chair, it's time to get used to people are lying.

Znamenski: It's hard to get used to. Can't get used to it, it will start to seem like everyone is lying.

---

• Kirpichev: What a kind heart you have!

Znamenski: Listen, Kirpichev, is it a shame to have kind heart? Or is it ridiculous?

Case #14: Herdsboy With A Cucumber (1979) =

Boborykin

• If you meet a man who doesn’t need money right now, wake me up in the middle of the night and I’ll come and take a look.

Dodik

• Comrades, there are many of you, but few of Dodiks. Dodik can do everything, but Dodik cannot do everything at once.

Dialogue

• Albert: This clock runs on Greenwich time.

Albina: Why?

Albert: English clock, English habit.

---

• Znamenski: Is your dad a collector too?

Muza: No, dad is not "too"! Dad is a Collector with a capital letter! But Kipchak and others like him are "too".

Cast

• Georgy Martyniuk as Pavel Znamenski "Zna", Senior investigator
• Leonid Kanevsky as Aleksandr Tomin "To", Senior Inspector-detective
• Elza Lezhdey as Zinaida Kibrit "Ki", laboratory analyst
• Vera Vasilyeva as Margarita Nikolayevna Znamenskaya, Znamenski's mother
• Semen Sokolovskiy as Colonel Skopin, Chief of Investigation department, Znamenski's boss
• Lev Durov as Afanasiy Filippov, Senior Inspector of GAI (traffic police)
• Anatoly Grachov as Mikhail Tokarev, Senior Inspector of OBKhSS (financial police)
• Grigory Lampe as "Surgeon" Kowalski