Justice League Unlimited

Justice League Unlimited (JLU) is an American animated television series that was produced by Warner Bros. Animation and aired on Cartoon Network. Featuring a wide array of superheroes from the DC Comics universe, and specifically based on the Justice League superhero team, it is a direct sequel to the previous Justice League animated series.

Season 1

Initiation [1.1]

Green Arrow: Well, well, the great and glorious Green Lantern. What, did you run out of alien menaces to beat on, you have to horn in on my turf?

Green Lantern: You're welcome.

Superman: Each of you brings something different to the table. Strength. Speed. Stealth. Whatever. But we're all equal in at least one way: Each of us is willing to make the sacrifices a hero needs to make, even the ultimate one. Since there are so many of us, we have a chance to do more than just put out fires, both literal and figurative. We can be proactive. We can do some real good in the world. But we're going to have to be organized. J'onn'll be up here keeping an eye on everything. He'll be the one to decide whose going where and when. I know a lot of you are used to making those decisions for yourself, but from now on we have to be more coordinated than that. We can't be cowboys any more... or cowgirls.

Green Arrow: C'mon, I don't belong up here, fighting monsters and aliens and supervillains. I just help the little guy. And a big club like this, you tend to forget all about him. So gee whiz, I'm flattered to be asked and all. But NO THANKS.

Batman: Suit yourself... [starts to walk away, then turns back] Those monsters you don't fight? They tend to STEP on little guys.

Green Arrow: Is that a Containment suit?

Captain Atom: Uh-huh. I'm not flesh and blood anymore, just living energy.

Green Arrow: That wouldn't be NUCLEAR energy, would it?

Captain Atom: With a name like Captain Atom, what do you think?

Green Arrow: I think you're what I marched against back in college.

Supergirl: Why don't you take the stick out, Corporal?

Captain Atom: Captain.

Supergirl: He asked you a question!

General Kwan: Don't answer him! That's classified inform-

Supergirl: [picks him up] I've just about had it with you guys! You've got 'til the count of five. One... FOUR... [her eyes start to glow]

Captain Atom: I'd speak up if I were you.

Green Arrow: So what's the plan?

Captain Atom: I shove these carbon rods in the robots reactor, that should stop it.

Green Arrow: I gotta say that's not much of a plan, if you get that close the heat will fry you.

Captain Atom: I know.

Green Arrow: But..

Captain Atom: If this doesn't work, contact the League, they'll know what to do next.

Green Arrow: Captain.

[Green Arrow shakes hands with Captain Atom]

Supergirl: So, aren't you gonna give me the "you did good" speech?

Green Lantern: You're headstrong, unprofessional and reckless. If you ever jeopardize yourself or your teammates again by running off half-cocked without a battle plan, I will personally see to it that you are kicked out of the League, I don't care who your cousin is. [He turns and begins to leave] And incidentally, you did good.

[Showers/locker room area]

Batman: Well, if it isn't the monster-killer.

Green Arrow: I was lucky. So was everybody else. Still don't think I belong up here.

Batman: That's the point. Someone like you will keep us honest.

Green Arrow: Gee, Bats, I don't know. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good radiation burn as much as the next guy, but I don't think...

[Loses his train of thought as he sees Black Canary across the room, pulling up her boots.]

Batman: So...see you soon?

Green Arrow: You just might.

For The Man Who Has Everything [1.2]

[Getting Superman a gift.]

Batman: What'd you get him?

Wonder Woman: I'm not saying anything [whispering] He'll hear, and spoil the surprise.

Batman: He can hear that, too.

Wonder Woman: How about you?

Batman: He's not the easiest person in the world to buy birthday presents for. [holds up an envelope]

Wonder Woman: Bruce... you didn't get him a gift certificate?

Batman: [offended] No! ...cash.

Batman: Mongul!

Mongul: You recognize me! I'm flattered. I suppose Superman told you all about our previous encounter.

Batman: You mean how he humiliated you?

Mongul: A... jaundiced account.

Mongul: The Black Mercy is a telepathic species. It reads the heart's desire and feeds the individual a totally convincing simulation of it.

Batman: So he's dreaming.

Mongul: Oh, far deeper than any dream. I wonder where he thinks he is. Sitting on a throne, ruling the universe. All you human garbage fawning at his feet. More honest, don't you think? Than this pretense of being a selfless hero.

Mongul: You don't understand. He was the only obstacle in my way. The rest of you... are already dead.

Mongul: Oh, dear. Is that a neural impactor? I didn't know that they were still making those. I'd advise you to try the plasma disruptor. It's more of a woman's weapon.

Wonder Woman: Go to- [fires]

Batman: He'll kill her, Clark. And then he'll kill us all! Shake it off! Come back to us! Please..

[On Krypton; Kal-El is with his son Van-El on the roof of his father's lab, as Van looks through a telescope]

Van-El: Dad! [The ground shakes] Dad? You've gotta look at thi- [Sees Kal-El's troubled expression] What's...what's the matter? Why are you -

Kal-El: Van, when you were born, it was the happiest day of my life. When I first saw your beautiful little face, your tiny fingers squeezed my hand so tight, like you never wanted to let go. I've watched every step, every struggle...I-I've... but, Van...[eyes begin to water] oh, Rao help me... but I don't think you're real. I don't think any of this is-is real..

Van-El: Don't say that, Daddy...please, you're scaring me... [hugs his father]

Kal-El: No, no, I don't want to scare you, Van. You are everything I ever wanted in a son. This...this is everything I ever wanted in a life. But I've got responsibilities, Van, and I...have to...go now...

[Hugs his son as Krypton begins to tear itself apart, and kisses him on the forehead]

Van-El: [Tearful] Daddy...

Kal-El: I promise you... I'll never forget.

[Krypton explodes]

Superman: Do you have any idea what you did to me?!

Mongul: I fashioned a prison that you couldn't leave without sacrificing your heart's desire. It must have been like tearing off your own arm.

Mongul: Happy birthday, Kryptonian. I give you... oblivion.

Superman: BURN! [ignites Mongul with heat vision]

Mongul: You know, for a moment there, I almost believed you were going to kill me. How stupid of you to hesitate like that. Not a mistake I'll make, I can assure you.

Mongul: You should have stayed in whatever happy fantasy the Black Mercy granted you.

Superman: HAPPY??! Do you know what I've lost?!

[Mongul is ensnared by the Black Mercy]

Wonder Woman: I wonder what he's seeing.

Batman: Whatever it is, it's too good for him.

[The camera draw closer to Mongul's beaten face, who's trying to give a small, satisfied smile while low sounds of screams and explosions are heard in background]

Kid Stuff [1.3]

[All the adults have been banished from the Earth, courtesy of Mordred.]

Mordred: This better be worth it, mother. I mean it.

Morgaine Le Fay: If the legends are true, it will be.

Mordred: You've been saying stuff like that for, like, centuries. Nothing ever changes.

Morgaine Le Fay: Everything's changed. Except you, Mordred. And that's because I want you to still be young when I give you your kingdom.

Mordred: I want to be king now! 'What's this thing?' 'Another stupid charm?'

Morgaine Le Fay: It's the amulet of first magic. The source of all Earthly sorcery.

Mordred: Hmm. Shiny.

Morgaine Le Fay: Be ready, Mordred.

Morgaine Le Fay: At last. Mordred, give that to me.

Mordred: Why should I?

Morgaine Le Fay: Silly child, you're not...

Mordred: Not what? Ready? Or big enough or old enough? 'None of that matters, mother.' 'Cause now, I'm strong enough.

Morgaine Le Fay: Mordred!

[Morgaine Le Fay gasps]

Mordred: I'll have my kingdom and without anyone telling me what to do. I never want to see you or anyone older than me ever again.

Morgaine Le Fay: No!

Blockbuster: Pound their heads!

Superman: Pound your own.

Copperhead: I won't go down easy.

Green Lantern: Sure, you will. Guess that's a wrap. Sorry. Been hanging out with Flash too much.

Copperhead: It was Judgment Day! And we got sent to the bad place! THE BAD PLACE!

Cheetah: [slaps him] Snap out of it, Copper.

Green Lantern: Yeah, calm down. We're probably just in another dimension.

Copperhead: [sarcastic] Oh, is that all?

Batman: I don't see any children.

Morgaine Le Fay: That's because a child is responsible.

Batman: Morgaine Le Fay.

Morgaine Le Fay: I mean you no harm.

Morgaine Le Fay: My son Mordred has wrought this treachery, banishing all adults to this shadow realm. Even me, his own mother. And after I spent millennia feeding him, bathing him, preparing him to be king... where did I go wrong?

Wonder Woman: You're a sorceress. Can't you just undo his spell?

Morgaine Le Fay: No. He's got the amulet of first magic. He's too powerful. But if we all work together..

Batman: You want us to defeat your own son?

Morgaine Le Fay: So don't trust me. Let him rule the world and all your children. Here we will stay. Forever.

Wonder Woman: But what can we do? We're stuck here, aren't we?

Morgaine Le Fay: Not exactly. The spell only banishes adults.

Green Lantern: I don't like where this is going.

Morgaine Le Fay: It's the only way.

Superman: We have to do it.

[[John Stewart exhales]

Morgaine Le Fay: Excellent.

[Morgaine Le Fay speaking foreign language]

[Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, and Green Lantern have been turned into children.]

Kid Batman: This better be temporary.

Kid Superman: You sound weird, Whoa. So do I!

Kid Wonder Woman: [Grinning at being the tallest] I kind of like this.

Kid Batman: [to Green Lantern] What's the matter?

Kid Green Lantern: I wore glasses as a kid. Guess I need them again. [large, square, green glasses appear on his nose] Wow! I didn't even try to make these!

[Superman cracks up]

Kid Batman: I hope not.

[Green Lantern strains and morphs the glasses into a mask]

Kid Superman: Cool!

Kid Wonder Woman: [smacks him] Will you stop messing around? We gotta find Mordred!

Kid Batman: Bet the little punk's in there! [runs towards the castle. Green Lantern, Superman, and Wonder Woman all quickly overtake him by flying] It's not a race!

[Kid Batman is having trouble with a guard, Kid Wonder Woman punches it in the leg, causing it to shatter, then catches Kid Batman as he falls.]

Kid Wonder Woman: You okay, tough guy?

Kid Batman: Let go, I'm fine! [Stalks away, pouting]

[The group is thrown into a dungeon; a toddlerized Etrigan comes out.]

Kid Batman: Etrigan?

[Etrigan burps fire and is caught by Superman.]

Kid Batman: [to Superman] Don't hurt him!

Kid Superman: [being bitten by Etrigan] Tell him that!

Kid Wonder Woman: Etrigan! You stop right there. I mean it! You naughty monster. Bad, bad, Etrigan. [Etrigan starts to cry. Wonder Woman picks him up] Hey little guy, it's okay, I won't hurt you.

Kid Batman: You've got to be kidding.

Kid Wonder Woman: He's just a baby. [Burps Etrigan] That's all he needed.

Kid Green Lantern: [sniffs] Aww man, that ain't all she needs.

Kid Batman: Now that is a job for Superman.

Kid Superman: You two, knock it off!

Child: What are you gonna do? You're just a kid!

Kid Superman: [burns the ground near them with his heat vision] I'm the kid with laser beams comin' out his eyes!

Kid Green Lantern: I've got a plan! I'll make some giant handcuffs and-

Kid Batman: Forget it!

Kid Batman: Never mind what I just said. We'll take care of everything else. Lantern, you go crazy!

Morgaine Le Fay: You've used it all. Don't you realize what you've done? A bargain is a bargain.

[After the League members been changed back to adults, Wonder Woman is still holding Etrigan]

Etrigan: ...Mommy?

[Wonder Woman drops Etrigan, looking somewhere between disgusted and annoyed]

Batman: Wait, what happened to Mordred?

Morgaine le Fey: My spell gave him eternal youth. But now he has broken it, all he has is eternal life.

Wonder Woman: Circumstances asides, it was kind of... enjoyable being a kid again.

Batman: I haven't been a kid since I was eight years old.

Morgaine le Fey: [Approaches an impossibly old, feeble and senile Mordred] Did you miss Mommy? Well, don't you worry, baby. Mommy's going to take good care of you, from now on...

Hawk And Dove [1.4]

[Wonder Woman is being shot at by a bank robber who has run out of bullets and is about to throw his gun at her.]

Diana: [sarcastically] Oh, yeah. Like THAT’S gonna work.

Diana: What's wrong with people, J'onn? Hostility is their answer to everything!

Martian Manhunter: You're one to talk, of late.

Diana: What's that supposed to mean?

Martian Manhunter: Diana, you and I have both been affected by our time among humans. It's important that we keep ourselves in check.

Diana: First of all, those thugs back there got exactly what they had coming. As did that band of mercenaries last week. And those creatures from the Decoran Nebula - they weren't misunderstood! They thought we were FOOD!

Hephaestus: Patience, brother. You know how much I care about the details.

Ares: It doesn't have to be pretty, Hephaestus. Where it's going things aren't supposed to be pretty.

Hank Hall: Fine mess here, Don.

Don Hall: Talk to them, you speak Neanderthal!

Hank Hall: I think they're done talking.

Don Hall:This is ridiculous! Just because I disagree with you doesn't make me unpatriotic.

Bar Patron: No, you bein' a bleedin' heart punk makes you unpatriotic!

Hank Hall: Actually, I gotta agree with him on that one.

Don Hall: Look, we got off on the wrong foot. Don't you think we could find plenty of things we all have in common if we JUST tried?

Bar Patron: [ Pauses for a moment looking slightly puzzled] ...No!

Don Hall: Hank, say something!

Hank Hall: [punches one of the frat boys and gives Don a look] Preemptive strike.

[ Hawk and Dove find themselves in a barroom brawl]

Dove: Oh, you SO wanted to do this!

Hawk: Don't blame me! You're the one that couldn't keep your trap shut!

Hawk: Why not just let them obliterate each other? If people can't control their own country, they don't deserve to have one.

Dove: Way to oversimplify. These folks live in poverty, and when you have so little, it's easy to be swayed into blaming your neighbour. Almost all aggression can be cured with education.

Hawk: Yeah? Then how come some of the best-educated guys in the world work at the Pentagon?

Hawk: There's no one inside that thing! How do you fight that?

Wonder Woman: You hit it 'til it breaks.

Nardoc: We won, Mr. Sera. The animals attacked, and we ran them out of town.

Ares: I didn't give you the Annihilator so you could run your enemies out of town, I gave you the Annihilator so you could annihilate them!

Nardoc: Forgive the insult, sir, but you think like a South Kaznian. They want to destroy us all, but my brothers and I only wish to keep our land. Perhaps I could take their camp, but the price would be too great. Shall I win a country but massacre my people?

Ares: Yes, you idiot! I think like a South Kasnian?! Has it even entered your skull that THEY think like South Kasnians?! And you'd better start thinking that way, too, if you want there to be a Northerner left in this rat-infested dirt heap you call a country! All any of you mortals are good for is to slaughter one another! To fight and fight until the bones of your enemies are strewn across the battlefield, only to rise again in the next generation, like a well-tended crop! THAT’S what the Annihilator is for! But nooo, you're using it to play TAG!

[Hawk attempts to kidnap the South Kasnian leader]

Hawk: Ever run away from home? It's fun; you'll love it. [Grabs leader out of bed] Brother and I used to do it all the time. 'Cept, he'd always wuss out and run home to Mama...

[Hawk is watching many Kasnians fighting and blowing things up]

Hawk: I see Don's social skills had their usual effect...

[Dove had just made the Annihilator stop by simply standing before it without a fight]

Hawk: Anybody wanna give me a clue what just happened?

Wonder Woman: Sometimes, it takes more strength NOT to fight.

Ares: But I'll be back and sooner than you think. Wherever there's prejudice, ignorance, inequality, I'll be there.

Wonder Woman: And I'll be waiting.

Dove: You see, doesn't this prove exactly what I've been saying for years?

Hawk: Couldn't tell ya — I do my best not to listen.

Dove: What?!?

This Little Piggy [1.5]

Batman: Patience, princess. Intergang moves in mysterious ways.

Wonder Woman: Tell me about it. What use could they possibly have for the Rosetta Stone?

Batman: We'll find out soon enough. And in the meantime...

Wonder Woman: I know. Patience.

Wonder Woman: Don't you ever wish you were down there?

Batman: I'm down there all I need to be.

Wonder Woman: Yes, but it's just a job to you. I'm talking about going down there and having some fun. Maybe... maybe with someone special.

[Batman frowns and looks away]

Wonder Woman: No. No dating for the Batman. It might cut into your brooding time.

Batman: One: dating within the team always leads to disaster. Two: you're a princess from a society of immortal warriors; I'm a rich kid with issues... lots of issues. And three: if my enemies knew I had someone special, they wouldn't rest until they'd gotten to me, through her.

Wonder Woman: [Crushes a stone gargoyle's head with her hand] Next?

[A burglar alarm goes off.]

Batman: There!

[He swings into action.]

Wonder Woman: [wryly] Saved by the bell.

Wonder Woman: Circe! Be careful, she's...

Batman: Yeah. I've read the Odyssey.

Zatanna: [trying to turn Wonder Woman back to normal and failing] Lleps eb nekorb! Anaid emoceb namuh! Well, I gave it my best shot. We could call in one of the other magicians. Doctor Fate, maybe-

Batman: No! I mean, let's keep this between us.

Zatanna: But why? If there's a chance to help her, shouldn't we tell everyone and that... oh, wait wait... you and her, are you two...

Batman: Just good friends.

Zatanna: No, you and I are just good friends. There's something more between you and her.

Batman: Well, maybe there was.

B'wana Beast: [introducing himself to Zatanna] B'wana Beast. How ya doin'?

Zatanna: My legs are fine. As is the rest of me. Up here. [pointing to her face]

B'wana Beast: Woah, she's got the fire of the cheetah in her. Rrroowr.

Zatanna: [to Batman] Why are you doing this to me?

B'wana Beast: [Talking to pigs, trying to find Wonder Woman] C'mon guys, help me out. Newcomer? Silver bracelets? Kinda stuck up?

Red Tornado: [imitating a pig call] SOOOOOOO-WEEEEEEEEEE...

Crimson Avenger: Excuse me, sir, I'm looking for a pig.

Old Man: Gladys, it's for you!

B'wana Beast: Yo, Wonderpig! [pursues the pig Diana through the street, jumping over an oncoming truck in the process; then, over his communicator] Bats, Beast. Got a fix on your girl.

Medusa: C-Girl and me did some time together back in the Pit of Eternal Torment. That's where they hang you by your ankles and weasels come each night to eat your fingers. They grow back the next day, but trust me - it gets old real quick.

Themis: Thank you, Medusa. And know that you've earned 300 years off your sentence.

Medusa: [sarcastic] Freedom in 4010. Ring-a-ding-ding!

Circe: Thank you, thank you. You've all been so kind to me tonight. You know, my cousins, the Sirens, never thought I could sing. Really! They thought they were all that with their 'Charm the Sailors' routine. But I'm showing them, aren't I?

[Dead silence. Circe glares - the audience applauses]

Circe: Oh thank you! I love you all! Are there any requests?

Zatanna: Stcejbo kcatta ecriC!

Circe: I'm not sure I know that one...

Circe: [under attack by Zatanna] Insolent trickster! You dare to strike- [gets hit by a chair] You dare to strike- [gets hit by a table] You dare to strike- [gets smothered by a tablecloth] QUIT IT! Oh, no... [gets hit by a grand piano]

Batman: Wait. It seems that magic always has a price.

Circe: And your point is...?

Batman: What would I have to give to make you lift your spell on Diana?

Circe: Well, now you're getting interesting. I want something from you that's very precious. Something you've worked very hard to conceal. Something when gone, you can never regain. Something soul-shattering...

[cut to Batman at a mike]

Batman: [singing] Am I blue? Am I blue? Ain't these tears in my eyes telling you...

[Zatanna is listening to Batman sing as her eyes tear up. She produces a handkerchief to dab at her eyes... then passes it to Circe, who is also crying at the performance.]

Circe: Beautiful.

Zatanna: And you'll keep your part of the bargain?

Circe: A deal's a deal. He can stop now.

Zatanna: Not on your life!

[Both keep watching the performance.]'

Zatanna: [to Batman, after he leaves the stage] Is there anything you can't do?

Batman: There's one thing I've never been very good at - saying thank you. [they share a smile]

Fearful Symmetry [1.6]

Green Arrow: Don't listen to this guy, everything's conspiracies with him.

The Question: Not "conspiracies". Conspiracy. Singular.

Question: Reaching back to ancient Egypt, there's been a single cabal of powerful individuals directing the course of human history. But the common man prefers to believe they don't exist, which aids their success.

Supergirl: [reading newspaper clippings] Global warming, military upheavals in the third world, actors elected to public office...

Green Arrow: The spread of coffee bars, germs outpacing antibiotics, and boy bands? Come on! Who would gain from all this?

Question: Who indeed?

Supergirl: These weren't just dreams, they felt like they really happened!

Green Arrow: I dunno, I've had some dreams that felt mighty real. [glances over his shoulder at Black Canary] There was this one the other night... [eats a French fry thoughtfully]

Green Arrow: Hold your horses! No one asked for more help. This whole trip might just prove the kid shouldn't eat nachos before bed.

Question: Peanut butter sandwiches.

Supergirl: How did y- what, do you go through my trash?!

Question: Please... I go through everyone's trash.

Green Arrow: So I think that answered everything.

Question: A little too well.

Green Arrow: Does everything have a sinister motive in your world?

Question: Yours too, you just don't know it.

Green Arrow: What was that about?

Question: What do you think? We're asking questions someone doesn't want answered.

Green Arrow: Aw, learn a new tune already!

[Supergirl has just been attacked by an android.]

Question: Standard Z8 Combat Trainer.

Green Arrow: Like the ones we use. The League buys 'em in bulk.

Supergirl: So?

Question: So who do we buy them from?

Supergirl: The Army, I thin... Oh, wait a minute...

Question: Another fun fact: The man who commissioned the Z8 Project? The same man who put you in the hospital.

Supergirl: General Hardcastle? He's retired now, isn't he?

Question: Gone. And hoping to be forgotten.

General Hardcastle: Figured someone would come for me some day. Only, I thought they'd be from the other side. [aiming his weapon at Supergirl] This weapon fires a projectile of kryptonite pellets suspended in a liquid silicon core. Causes maximum scatter on impact. Only gets one shot, but trust me, alien, it'll do the job.

Supergirl: We're not here to hurt you. We just have some questions.

General Hardcastle: Sorry if I don't take your word for it. As I recall, your kind can be fickle.

[After a tense moment Green Arrow steps in front of Supergirl]

Green Arrow: Okay, now what, smart guy? Use up your magic bullet on me, and you're left with one very ticked off Supergirl.

[The brief distraction gives Question the chance to easily disarm Hardcastle]

General Hardcastle: What? I told you everything I... Supergirl?

Galatea: Yes... and no. Friends call me Tea. Are you a friend, general?

[Hardcastle lunges for his kryptonite gun but Galatea quickly destroys it with her heat vison]

Galatea: Guess that's a no.

Galatea: So, what do you think? It's important that you like yourself. And I'm you, just accelerated a few extra years. Plus better trained. And I have to say, a heck of a lot smarter.

Supergirl: You lured us here. After your lackeys couldn't get rid of me at Star, you decided to deal with me yourself on your home turf.

Galatea: It's like you're reading my mind. Which is actually the problem. And why you have to die.

[Outside Nuvo-Gen]

Question: [singing while inspecting the locked glass door] ...Fell in love again, what am I gonna tell my friends? It just happened. You walked in my door, now I don't wanna be alone no more... [throws a potted plant through the door] Oops, I done it! Told you how I feel! Just hope this time that our love is real...

Question: You were setting up this bait even before Supergirl started asking questions. It's because the link works both ways, doesn't it? While she was seeing what you were doing, you were feeling her conscience. That's why you couldn't sleep at night. And I bet it got in the way of your work. It bites having someone in your head, doesn't it?

Galatea: [begrudgingly] You don't know what you're talking about.

Question: No? Prove it. Kill me.

[Galatea raises her fist but hesitates to hit him]

The Greatest Story Never Told [1.7]

Child: Can I have your autograph?!

Booster Gold: Of course you can! [signs autograph book]

Child: [looks at it and is disappointed] I thought you were Green Lantern.

Skeets: I would like your autograph, sir!

Booster Gold: Shut up, Skeets.

Martian Manhunter: I have never sensed such malevolent magic in one being. Unless Mordru can be defeated, I fear for every living creature on the planet.

Booster Gold: Yes!

Martian Manhunter: Listen up! A second unit will serve under Green Lantern's command! When I call your name, report to the transporter! Hawk and Dove, Star and Stripe, Shining Knight... Fire and Ice, Doctor Light... Aztek, Huntress, Vigilante, Elongated Man...

Booster Gold: Ahem.

Martian Manhunter: Vibe...

Booster Gold: AHEM!

Martian Manhunter: [sighs] Booster Gold...

Booster Gold: Yes!

Booster Gold: Energize!

Teleporter Operator: Doofus.

[The Elongated Man and Booster Gold are stuck with Crowd Control during a battle.]

Elongated Man: "We don't need two stretchy guys". This is so not fair! I mean, okay, I realize that Plastic Man is in the League too, I'm not dissing the guy's skills, but come on! I have it all over that guy! Once, I disguised myself as a vase for like three days!

Booster Gold: No, you didn't!

Elongated Man Okay, maybe not. Who'd want to, anyway? But I am a detective! That means I'm like Plastic Man and Batman rolled into one! And...

Booster Gold: Is there any chance you could stop complaining for five minutes?

Elongated Man: Hey, the squeaky wheel gets the grease, my friend. But I'll tell you one thing: I wouldn't help those ingrates now if they BEGGED me!

Wonder Woman: We need you.

Booster Gold: It's about time!

Wonder Woman: Not you. HIM!

Elongated Man: Squeaky Wheel! [leaves with Wonder Woman]

Skeets: Maybe they needed a vase.

Booster Gold: It doesn't matter what we do here, the battle is over there. We're not helping.

Skeets: This is untrue. "They also serve, who only stand and wait." - John Milton.

Booster Gold: Oh yeah? I got one for ya': "This stinks" - Booster Gold.

Booster Gold: I am NOT Green Lantern! If I were Green Lantern, my costume would be GREEN, now wouldn't it?! [to Skeets] I have officially hit rock bottom.

Skeets: Sir, you saved those insects! Yay! Don't you feel good about yourself?

Booster Gold: She's beautiful, and in distress! My favorite kind of damsel.

Booster Gold: Oh, man, we are so lucky! All I have to do is pop this collar on Mr. Black Hole, save the world, and then it's champagne and strawberries for me and the hot doctor! [He is about to put the collar around Dr. Daniel's neck, when a car falls on him] [emerging from under the car] I thought they didn't have flying cars in this time period.

[Booster Gold opens an ambulance door]

Booster Gold: Uh-oh. [Cut to pregnant woman in labor; Dr. Simmons arrives] Maybe you should handle this.

Dr. Tracy Simmons: Why me?

Booster Gold: You're a doctor.

Dr. Tracy Simmons: I'm a physicist!

Booster Gold: Yeah?

Dr. Tracy Simmons: Give me the collar! [She takes it and runs]

Booster Gold: I'll - I'll take care of this. [climbs into the ambulance next to the woman] So, um... how are you feeling?

Woman: [screams]

Booster Gold: How many fingers am I holding up?

Woman: [Grabs him] Do something USEFUL!

Booster Gold: I blew it!

Tracy Simmons: It's not too late!

Booster Gold: I can't do it!

Tracy Simmons: Yes, you can! You have to!

Booster Gold: Tracy, I'm a fraud! Do you know why I came back to the past? It wasn't to fight for justice! It was to get rich, be famous! I was a failure in the future, just like I am here! I'm not a superhero!

Tracy Simmons: Everything is about to be destroyed forever! And where are the other superheroes? Not here! You are! You're the only one that can do this! So do it!

Skeets: Sir, according to my thermal sensor readings of Dr. Simmons, you just missed a prime opportunity to... well, I believe the phrase is, "kiss the girl."

Booster Gold: Kissing girls is for heroes, Skeets.

Batman: I thought I told you to stay on crowd control.

Booster Gold: I know, but... there was this... I mean, you wouldn't believe it... it almost.. [pauses on seeing Batman narrowing his eyes] ah, forget it.

Batman: You and I are gonna have a little chat later. [walks away]

Booster Gold: [sarcastic] Looking forward to that.

Tracy Simmons: [offscreen] Excuse me, Green Lantern?

Booster Gold: For the last time, I am not Green Lantern! My name is...! [turns and sees her]

Tracy Simmons: [laughs] Just kidding. I know who Booster Gold is. So now that I'm not in distress, I was wondering if maybe I was still your kind of damsel.

The Return [1.8]

Guardian: There's an unidentified object approaching Oa at a somewhat astonishing speed...

Guardian: Magnify image.

Martian Manhunter: Professor Ivo's android!

Green Lantern: Holy Mother of-!

Lex Luthor: [leading the rest to a hiding place] This is it.

Supergirl: A barber shop?

Steel: Got to hand it to you, Luthor - NOBODY would think to look for you here.

Amazo: You cannot keep me from my goal.

Superman: Telepathy.

Green Lantern: I'm not impressed.

Superman: Why have you come back? What do you want?

Amazo: Why do you ask questions you already know the answer to?

Superman: Luthor.

Amazo: Of course.

Superman: We're not gonna give him up.

Amazo: He's your enemy. You owe him nothing.

Superman: Turn...back...now.

Amazo: I have evolved far beyond what I was when we last met. You do not want to challenge me.

Green Lantern: LIGHT HIM UP!

[The First Line attacks]

Kyle Rayner: We're gonna use every bit of power left in our rings and take one last shot at the android.

Green Lantern: A blast like that could destroy half the planet.

Kyle Rayner: Half a planet is better than none.

[in the Watchtower]

Martian Manhunter: It's the only way.

Dr. Fate: Hmmm, those words are always used to justify destruction.

Martian Manhunter: We can only guess how much power the android has amassed as it has worked it's way across the galaxy. It has to be stopped, Fate. Here and now. Not just for the sake of this world, but for all worlds.

Dr. Fate: Then for the sake of all worlds, I will continue to seek a better way.

Lex Luthor: The most powerful creature in the universe wants my head, and the League sends its least powerful member to protect me.

Atom: The android – why does he hate you so much?

Lex Luthor: I once took advantage of his naiveté. He's not naïve any more, and I've stopped taking advantage of the innocent.

Atom: Let's hope you'll be more convincing if you have to tell him that.

Amazo: Your bravery is admirable... but annoying.

Martian Manhunter: You'll need that cannon very soon.

Lex Luthor: Then stop interrupting us!

Martian Manhunter: You've come to offer help?

Dr. Fate: Not help. Hope.

Amazo: An intriguing idea, modifying the cannon so that it could alter my programming, and it might've worked... a month ago, when I was still nanotech. But I have transcended that limitation.

Lex Luthor: A subatomic universe.

Atom: Figured the android can't kill what he can't see.

Amazo: Oh, but I can see you. [Atom and Luthor are revealed to be standing on Amazo's hand] Did you really think I couldn't follow you here? No universe, however large, however small, is denied to me.

Lex Luthor: What do you want from me?

Amazo: You have everything humans desire: wealth, power... yet you crave more, and you'll do anything to get it. Why? What is your ultimate purpose?

Lex Luthor: What you're really asking is, what is yours?

Dr. Fate: Wait. Please. The android's nature has proved benign before. I believe it will again.

Green Lantern: Benign?! You call destroying Oa benign?! [all assembled Green Lanterns aim their rings at Dr. Fate] Not even you can stand against the Green Lantern Corps. [Dr. Fate steps aside, and the Lanterns find the room empty] What the devil's going on?

Dr. Fate: Lex Luthor is saving the world.

Lex Luthor: The truth is, for all my struggles to make my mark in life, for all I've accomplished, in just a few short generations my name will be forgotten. Even the greatest of us can't compete with time... and death.

Amazo: Then why do you go on? Why does anyone? Why don't I just destroy you and everything else right now? [winds start swirling] All it would take is a single thought and-

Lex Luthor: No! If you do that, you won't see the end of it!

Amazo: The end of what?

Lex Luthor: The evolutionary process. You of all beings should know something about that.

Amazo: Yes. Yes, I'm evolving. That's why Professor Ivo made me. These past months I have amassed so much knowledge, and yet... I remain confused... empty. What am I evolving into? What is my purpose?! I must know! TELL ME!

Lex Luthor: There's no way to tell. And that's why I stay in the game. My purpose, if you will, is to see where it's all going. And you! You'll live forever. You'll be able to see it all.

Amazo: Is that my purpose? Simply to be... a witness?

Lex Luthor: We create our own purpose in life. Now go create yours.

Lex Luthor: You know, when I heard you were coming I was actually afraid of you. Petrified. But now, when I see your fear, your uncertainty, I just pity you.

[Amazo glares]

Atom: You should have quit while you were ahead.

Dr. Fate: It's over. Isn't it?

Amazo: Yes.

Green Lantern: He murders an entire world, and it's over? Just like that? I don't think so!

Amazo: I did not destroy Oa - I simply moved it to another dimension. [everyone stares] It was in my way.

John Stewart: Then could you move it back?

[Amazo's eyes glow briefly]

Amazo: Done.

Dr. Fate: I can help you on your journey. In your search for meaning.

Amazo: Help me? Why?

Dr. Fate: Because that... is my purpose.

Atom: Told you we'd beat him!

Lex Luthor: What do you mean, "we"?

Inza: Are you all right?

Dr. Fate: Fine, although there was a moment when I actually thought John Stewart was going to attack me.

Shayera Hol: Oh, I don't know about that. His bark's a lot worse than his bite.

Ultimatum [1.9]

Aquaman: The new Bermuda Platform's under attack. If it collapses, we're gonna have the worst oil spill in history on our hands. I've told those idiots to stay out of my ocean.

Superman: ETA is three minutes, Aquaman.

Wonder Woman: Right behind you, Superman.

Batman: See you there, Diana.

Aquaman: These geniuses dug right into the Earth's magma. Never occurred to them there'd be anything living down there.

Batman: [surrounded with Aquaman by Lava men] Can you make telepathic contact?

Aquaman: Do they look like fish to you?

Wind Dragon: Don't despair, old chum.

Long Shadow: I didn't know you could do that.

Wind Dragon: Neither did I.

Wind Dragon: Finding new sources of fuel for an energy starved world is truly a worthy endeavor. But in man's quest to better himself, he must respect all of the world's creatures, including those poor beasts whose homes you've disturbed.

Wind Dragon: Not to worry, fellow heroes. The Ultimen are here.

Aquaman: Not them again.

Wind Dragon: Now, is that nice?

[Superman is encased in hardened magma]

Wind Dragon: You know, Juice, Superman was my hero when I was a lad. It's not his fault he's getting old.

Superman: "Old"?! [breaks free]

Wind Dragon: Old but spry, sir, old but spry!

Long Shadow: It's, uh, really an honor to be working with you, Wonder Woman.

Wonder Woman: Thank you, Long Shadow.

Shifter: Lend them a hand, Brother?

Downpour: Absolutely, Sister.

Shifter: Flood!

Downpour: Sea serpent!

Shifter: Don't be afraid, Wonder Woman. It's only me, Shifter.

Wonder Woman: Any chance you could warn me before you try to drown me?

Shifter: We were only trying to help.

Long Shadow: What I wanna know is-

Shifter, Downpour, Juice, Wind Dragon: "Why can't we join the Justice League?"

Wind Dragon: Hey, it's all right. I used to think like that.

Long Shadow: Used to? What happened?

Wind Dragon: I dunno. I guess I just started wanting stuff.

Superman: [on Maxwell Lord] I can't listen to anymore of this. This guy's dripping more oil than that platform ever did.

Bizarro: Me will do anything for the woman he loves! Even break her boyfriend out of prison!

Wonder Woman: And what's gonna happen then?

Bizarro: Uh... [gets knocked out]

Bizarro: [singing] Bizarro here to save the day!

Giganta: Outta the way, tiny.

[Long Shadow grows taller than her]

Long Shadow: You were saying?

Giganta: Oh, poop.

Wonder Woman: Whatever's going on, we'll do everything in our power to...

Wind Dragon: Yes, power. That's what it always comes down to, doesn't it? And that's the only way we'll ever be remembered. 'Cause we're the ones who take down the Justice League! The world will never forget us!

Batman: Listen to yourself, you're not making any sense! You're getting sicker!

Wind Dragon: Translation: they're afraid to face us!

Long Shadow: No!

Wind Dragon: As a man said, "You're either with us or against us."

Juice: Where'd he go?

Batman: Light's out... old chum.

Downpour: Nobody does that to my sister. Do you hear me?! Nobody!

[Downpour blasts Aquaman with a huge tidal wave, which is almost entirely ineffective.]

Aquaman: King of the seas, remember?

Superman: Project Cadmus? That's all you know?

Long Shadow: Everything else is an implanted memory.

Wonder Woman: How much time... do you have left?

Long Shadow: Who knows?

Amanda Waller: We'll take it from here. The Ultimen belong to us.

Wonder Woman: Belong?

Maxwell Lord: A poor choice of words. We'll see to it that their last days are comfortable. We will take care of you. You have my word, for whatever it's worth.

Wind Dragon: All right, Max.

[The gunmen step towards Long Shadow. Wonder Woman steps in front of him.]

Wonder Woman: No.

Amanda Waller: You need to step back.

Batman: Not gonna happen. Long Shadow's with us.

Amanda Waller: [to troops] Safeties.

[Soldiers train guns on the League; Superman and Aquaman get between them and Long Shadow]

Batman: [smirking] Mine are bigger than yours.

Amanda Waller: Stand down. He's free to go with you for however long he's got.

Batman: Who are you people?

Amanda Waller: That's a national security matter. And if I were you, I wouldn't probe the situation too closely... rich boy.

Wonder Woman: Welcome to the Justice League.

Dark Heart [1.10]

The Atom: [confronted by a (relatively) giant nanomachine] He's bigger than my car now, Katie. Personally, I blame you.

Katie: How can it possibly be my fault?

The Atom: Because otherwise it would be my fault. That can't be right; I'm a professor. [He rides the nanomachine like a bronco, opening a panel on its back.] Okay, I can see the problem, now, Katie. Looks like the salt water created a bad nano-chip. I can get around it by.... [he's nearly thrown off as the nanomachine writhes under him] Okay, I'm just gonna be direct. [He punches the chip, breaking it, but he is shocked by the contact. The nanomachine comes to a halt, and he lies prone on its back, exhausted.]

Katie: Professor Palmer! Professor! Ray!

The Atom: I'm just going to lie here for a while, Katie. I'm old now, and I get tired.

Katie: Professor Palmer, you have company...serious company...

The Atom: Stand by, I'm coming up. [He adjusts a dial on his belt, causing him to grow out of the petri dish. He steps down from the table it's on, to stand only a little shorter than Superman.]

Batman: [in free fall, having bailed out of his plane] Batman to all points. I could use some air support. Since I can't fly. At all. [continues to fall and states calmly] Now would be good. [Superman catches him only a few feet from the ground]

Wonder Woman: [holding Atom in her palm] Ready?

Atom: Just don't squeeze.

Wonder Woman: [in the midst of battle, before tucking Atom into her cleavage] I need both hands, professor.

Atom: This is incredible. Every atom of it is filled with books' worth of information, it is beautifully simple, it—

Batman: Save it for the autopsy.

Atom: Amazing. Show him a weapon that destroyed its creators and every other thing it saw, and he wants to play with it. What's to stop history from repeating itself right here on Earth?

Superman: We are.

Wake the Dead [1.11]

Aquaman: Such scintillating repartee. I get better conversation from the android.

Amazo: You are aware I'm in the room?

Aquaman: I win again... huzzah.

Shayera Hol: It's just a game.

[Aquaman knocks the board and pieces off the table]

Aquaman: You disgust me!

Shayera Hol: Join the club.

Shayera Hol: Aquaman thinks I've been here too long.

Inza: Flowers bloom when they are ready, Shayera.

Shayera Hol: I'm no flower. I'm not Lieutenant Shayera Hol of the Thanagarian Empire. Not anymore. I've been stripped of my rank, exiled from my home world. I'm not Hawkgirl. That was always a sham. When I do my job, people get hurt, people that I care about.

Inza: And what happens when you don't do your job?

Green Lantern: Doctor Fate called it, Solomon Grundy's back.

Vixen: The zombie guy? A heavy hitter, I read about him in the files.

Green Lantern: Yeah, he's tough, but we can handle him. Funny thing is, he's supposed to be dead.

Vixen: Aren't all zombies, by definition, dead?

Green Lantern: Uh...

Amazo: Checkmate. You are improving. This time it took me 16 moves to defeat you. That's nearly double the number it took last time.

Aquaman: [annoyed] Set up the board.

Dr. Fate: Solomon Grundy's grave is empty.

Aquaman: Find those responsible, then dig more graves.

Dr. Fate: [magically watching Superman, Green Lantern and Vixen fighting Solomon Grundy] They need our help.

Shayera Hol: So does Grundy. Let's try and get there before the League kills him.

Amazo: [as the battle turns against the League] That scenario seems... unlikely.

[John and Shayera meet for the first time since Starcrossed.]

Green Lantern: Shayera?

Shayera Hol: ... Hate the beard.

Superman: You let Amazo out of the tower now?

Dr. Fate: I'm curious to see how you would dissuade him.

Green Lantern: [Seeing Superman coming from water to the bridge] Are you OK?

Superman: Do I look OK?

Doctor Fate: The creature knows only rage and seeks only oblivion. Your mace may be the only object on Earth that can grant him peace.

Green Lantern: What are you saying!?

Shayera Hol: Your favorite movie's Old Yeller. You know exactly what he's saying. Is this my destiny? To be a destroyer? To betray yet another friend?

Doctor Fate: It's not that simple. It never was.

[The vote to keep Shayera in the league or not is revealed.]

Green Lantern: I recused myself because... well... Anyway, Superman broke the tie.

Superman: I believe in second chances, I believe in redemption. But mostly, I believe in my friends.

Green Lantern: [as several onlookers jeer Shayera] Back off! She doesn't have to take that from you people!

Shayera Hol: Yes, I do. But it's okay. I guess I deserve some of it.

[Her hand is taken]

Mother: You saved our lives. God bless you, Chica Halcón.

Green Lantern: You deserve that, too.

The Once and Future Thing Part 1: Weird Western Tales [1.12]

Enid Clinton: David? David! Are you hiding in the garage again? Look at this mess. Come on out, David. I know you're here.

David Clinton: Oh. Hello, dear. I was just cataloging some of my collection.

Enid Clinton: Collection? Pft. Bunch of junk.

David Clinton: It's not junk. This comb belonged to Cleopatra. And this... This is an actual early draft of the Magna Carta. And this...

Enid Clinton: Right. Like you could afford these things on a physics professor's salary. We can't even afford the new car I want.

David Clinton: I-I didn't buy them, Enid. I sort of took them.

Enid Clinton: You robbed a museum? Is that why you're wearing that goofy cat suit?

David Clinton: Well, sort of. Not exactly. Remember last summer when I didn't get tenure?

Enid Clinton: Yeah. They thought you were crazy because you kept insisting you were on the verge of discovering... time travel.

David Clinton: It's my chrono-suit. I've had it working for months. I've been using it to gather treasures for my collection. And you said I was a loser.

Enid Clinton: Let me get this straight. You got a suit that lets you travel in time, and you've been using it to steal historical trash? [David looks proud; Enid grabs him abusively] You stupid little man! You could go back and steal gold and jewels! You could get stock information from the future! We could be rich!

David Clinton: No! We can't use the suit to do anything that could change history. I'm careful to only take things that wouldn't be missed.

Enid Clinton: Like your spine?

David Clinton: Enid, please, don't talk to me like that. I love-

Enid Clinton: Mother was right. I should have married Jim Doorman. He's a very successful lawyer. And you ARE a loser - always were, always will be.

David Clinton: But-

Enid Clinton: YOU WORTHLESS, GOOD-FOR-NOTHING, WRETCHED WASTE OF SPACE! YOU INVENT A TIME MACHINE AND CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING USEFUL TO DO WITH IT?!

David Clinton: [is stunned with fright at first, but then turns angry] I can think of ONE thing! [activates a portal in time] I can use it to get away from YOU!

[He disappears into it, leaving Enid looking scared]

Wonder Woman: By all means, you first.

Green Lantern: Diana's carrying a grudge.

Batman: She'll get over it. How 'bout you? Carrying anything?

Green Lantern: What? Shayera? We're cool. We're giving each other our space. I'm seeing Vixen, now. [pause] I'm very happy.

Batman: Uh-huh.

Green Lantern: Anyway, why are we always talking about my love life? What's going on between you and Diana?

Batman: Nothing. She's a respected colleague.

Green Lantern: Uh-huh.

Batman: I don't have time to pursue a relationship. My work is too important to allow any distractions. Diana's a remarkable woman, she's a valued friend, she's... [realizes] ...standing right behind me, isn't she?

Wonder Woman: [indeed she is] Don't let that stop you. [leans over Batman, flirtatiously] Keep digging.

David Clinton: [GRUNTING] Aah!

Batman: Who are you? How did you get in the watchtower?

David Clinton: You weren't supposed see me. Stay away! No one's supposed to know I was here.

Green Lantern: Everybody okay?

Wonder Woman: Where are we?

Batman: "Where"? I think the question is "when"?

Wild West Robber: I have to confess. You're about the most colorfully attired individuals I've ever bushwhacked. You circus folk?

Wonder Woman: Not exactly.

Wild West Robber: I don't care what you are, long as you pay the toll.

Wonder Woman: Toll?

Wild West Robber: Welcome to Elkhorn, Oklahoma, ma'am. This here is Tobias Manning territory.

Wonder Woman: You want tribute? Money?

Wild West Robber: Why in particular.. That fat gold chain will do just fine, unless you got somethin' else you want to give... [SCREAMS]

Wonder Woman: Those are the biggest, slowest bullets I've ever seen.

Batman: You're letting them go?

Wonder Woman: Hm? Oh, no.

Batman: I was afraid of this. The Elkhorn Gazette. It's either an amazing forgery, or it's less than a month old.

Wonder Woman: So?

Batman: Look at the date.

Batman: [reading]: June, 1879.

Green Lantern: I have mentioned how much I hate time travel.

Wonder Woman: If we don't find our sneak thief, we're stuck here.

Green Lantern: Let's head for the nearest town. See if we can find him.

Batman: We can't go anywhere dressed like this.

Wonder Woman: No. We can't.

[after swapping their costumes for cowboy clothes]

Diana: These shoes are killing me.

Bruce Wayne: You fight crime wearing high heels.

Diana: High heels that fit. Aren't you going to put those on, John?

Green Lantern: Has the shower been invented yet? Somebody should tell this guy.

John Stewart: Those empty holsters aren't going to scare anybody. You sure you don't want one of these?

Bruce Wayne: Positive. Let's ride.

Diana: Hyah!

Tobias Manning: What's it gonna be, Earl?

Earl: I'm studying it, Tobias.

Bat Lash: My pappy always said, "Faint of heart never filled a flush."

Earl: It ain't your pappy's money. Fold.

Tobias Manning: That leaves you and me. What are you holding, Mr. Lash?

Bat Lash: It'll cost you another $500 to find out.

Tobias Manning: Call. Four kings and an ace.

Bat Lash: Well, now, that's a mite perplexing, seeing as I got four aces and a king.

Tobias Manning: Well, I've got the gun.

Bat Lash: Lot of that going around lately.

Bat Lash: Seems like a waste of a good-sized pot. How 'bout we split it and both walk away?

[Manning's gun extends six additional barrels]

Tobias Manning: How 'bout I keep it all?

Bat Lash: Sounds fair the way you explain it.

Diana: That technology's from the future.

Bruce Wayne: Wait. We don't know how things work here yet.

Tobias Manning: Hang him at dawn.

Bat Lash: Don't I get a trial?

Tobias Manning: Sure. You're guilty. My town, my rules.

Bat Lash: Wait a minute. Can't we talk about this? How 'bout another hand? Double or nothin'!

John Stewart: I think we know how things work here now.

Diana: We have to help that man.

Bruce Wayne: That's not what we're here for. Someone's tampering with history. The stakes are much bigger than the life of one card shark.

Diana: Then it's settled. We'll break him out after sundown.

David Clinton: That's not going to work. I tried it. Yeah, those bars are cheap pig iron, but they're plenty strong enough to hold. At least until morning when they come to hang you.

Bat Lash: Do you mind? I'm trying to plan an escape over here.

David Clinton: How's it going so far?

Bat Lash: I'm working on it.

Guard: Quiet down in there!

Bat Lash: That's just what I was telling him.

John Stewart: I'll get the door. Or that.

Bruce Wayne: I'd get out of town if I were you.

Bat Lash: I'd like to, but my pappy always said, "A man who sticks his head in the sand makes a pretty good target." I got business to conclude before I leave. Bartholomew Aloysius Lash. Friends call me Bat. Bat Lash.

John Stewart: I'm John. These are my friends Diana and, uh... :Bruce Wayne: Bruce.

John Stewart: We're the lawmen, looking to bring a criminal to justices.

Diana: You may have seen him. He's got amazing machines. We think the man who put you in here works for him.

David Clinton: Not quite, Wonder Woman.

Diana: How do you know who I am?

Bruce Wayne: Because he's the man we're looking for.

David Clinton: David Clinton, inventor of the chrono-suit, at your disposal.

John Stewart: You tried to steal Batman's utility belt.

David Clinton: And you chased me, but time tunnels are somewhat counter-intuitive. Even though you were only seconds behind me, I arrived here nearly six months before you did.

Bruce Wayne: Where's your time travel device?

David Clinton: Now, that's a story. As soon as I got here, I was robbed.

Diana: By Tobias Manning. :David Clinton: Yes, ma'am. He took my suit and used it to take over this town. He keeps taking trips to the future and coming back with stolen technology. He keeps me here to teach him how to use the stuff that he can't work out for himself.

Bat Lash: Which I'd suspect is most of it, what with him being so mule-stupid and all.

David Clinton: It's been horrible here. Humiliating. I just want to go home. I'll gladly take my punishment if you help me get back.

John Stewart: How did Tobias take over a whole town with a time machine?

David Clinton: Future tech, like his extra-dimensional six-gun. :Bruce Wayne: And his surveillance cameras. We need to go. Now.

Diana: You're with us.

Bat Lash: That's a healthy gal.

John Stewart: I've got their positions. I'm gonna take 'em down.

Diana: Don't hurt anyone. We could accidentally change history.

John Stewart: Little late for that, don't you think?

Bruce Wayne: Go ahead. Give me an excuse.

John Stewart: Something's happening out there.

Bat Lash: Something's happening, all right. The cavalry's arrived.

John Stewart: Who are you people?

Sheriff Ohiyesa Smith: Sheriff Ohiyesa Smith.

El Diablo: El Diablo, ever at the service of justice.

Jonah Hex: Jonah Hex. Don't have a lot of time for jawing. In these parts, there's an abundance of bad men who need setting straight.

Wonder Woman: You're with us.

[tears the door off David's cell]

Bat Lash: That's a healthy gal.

Jonah Hex: If you all are working for Tobias, there's gonna be difficulty.

Bat Lash: Easy, Jonah - they're with me. They helped me out of a spot while I was here incognito tryin' to find out more about Tobias.

Ohiyesa Smith: What have you learned?

Bat Lash: Among other moral failings, the man cheats at poker.

Jonah Hex: [scoffs] I could have told you that. [hacks and spits]

Jonah Hex: What's your stake in this?

John Stewart: We're lawmen too.

Jonah Hex: From back east?

Bruce Wayne: Sure.

John Stewart: What's the plan?

Jonah Hex: Plan? Huh. We put 'em in the ground.

Jonah Hex: Fancy gun belt ya got there. I'm thinking you folks are time travelers.

Bruce Wayne: Where would you get a crazy idea like that?

Jonah Hex: Experience. I've had an interesting life.

Bruce Wayne: Go ahead... give me an excuse.

Ohiyesa Smith: We're getting close. I wanna warn you, there's some downright unusual activity goin' on hereabouts; don't let it throw you.

John Stewart: Don't worry about it, we've got a lot of experience with unusu- [a cowboy riding a pterodactyl flies towards them] ...I'm sorry, you were saying?

Ohiyesa Smith: Tobias Manning's always been trouble. I've run him out of town before. Well, he came back, except this time he had... I don't know, magic powers.

El Diablo: There's no such thing as magic, my friend. It was some sort of trickery.

Ohiyesa Smith: Well, he "tricked" me near to death.

Ohiyesa Smith: The shots are spooking the horses!

Bat Lash: The shots are spooking me!

Bruce Wayne: Six guns. Six of us. Nobody miss.

The Once and Future Thing Part 2: Time, Warped [1.13]

Green Lantern: Last time I saw you, you were too young to drive. You look good for a man your age!

Static: The miracles of modern medicine. Sixty-five is the new thirty!

Bruce Wayne: [met by his past self] Surprised to see me?

Batman: A little. I'm more surprised that I lived so long.

Terry McGinnis (Batman II): Batman, Bruce Wayne. Bruce Wayne, Batman. Or have you met?

Batman and Bruce: [simultaneously] Not now!

Batman II: Great. What did they used to call it? Stereo?

Static: Shayera was one cranky pregnant lady. Although to be fair, if I'd laid an egg that size...

Warhawk: [to Green Lantern] He's kidding, Dad—not that I understand why you think this is anything to joke about.

Static: Because we already won. Think about it: If old Bruce is here, that means he already lived through this as Batman.

Bruce Wayne: Flawless logic...except that I have no memory of ever going to the future and meeting my older self, or of anything else that's happening today.

Chronos: The question arises: who told them where and when our targets would arrive? I mean, I told you, and I only know because I'm the undisputed master of space and time.

[Chronos sends the traitorous Joker, Chucko, back to prehistoric times]

Chronos: Enjoy your stay.

[Chronos disappears in his portal; a Tyrannosaurus Rex appears and Chucko draws a lightsaber]

Chucko: You think I'm scared?! I'll be running this dump in a few ye-! [sees a giant asteroid falling right towards him from the sky] ...Aw, phooey.

[We see a massive explosion on Earth, killing the dinosaurs and Chucko. Chronos returns to Enid and the other Jokerz]

Chronos: Do you know what killed the dinosaurs?

[The Jokerz look around stupidly]

Bonk: Uh, no... sir?

Chronos: Well, Chucko does. And unless you wanna find out firsthand, you'll go finish off the Justice League. Skedaddle! Time is money! [to Enid] Actually, time is the non-spatial continuum in which events occur linearly, usually in the direction of increased entropy. But the clowns seem to relate better to the money thing.

Batman II: We need to find Chronos.

Static: How? He could be anywhere.

Batman: Sometimes, the best ways are the old ways. [Heads for the door]

Batman II: It's not that simple. You don't know your way around here. A lot of things have changed.

Batman: [pauses with the door half-open] Are criminals still superstitious and cowardly?

Bruce Wayne: Yep.

Batman: Good enough for me.

[The League confronts one of the Jokerz.]

Batman II: You've got some information we need, Ghoul.

Ghoul: You won't find me the talkative sort. [Batman grabs him] Hey!

Batman: [drags Ghoul over to the edge of the building and dangles him over the edge by his leg] Where's Chronos? My arm's getting tired.

Bruce Wayne: I can't believe I was ever that green. [grabs Ghoul and throws him across the rooftop before advancing on him slowly] This is how you interrogate someone!

[Later]

Ghoul: ...and we've got 9453 active Jokerz organized into about 200 smaller groups. I don't know where Chronos is! He contacts us! He spends every night in a different one of those old buildings! There's no way of knowing ahead of time where he's gonna be! And that's everything I know!

Bruce Wayne: Everything?

Ghoul: ... I wet my bed until I was fourteen!

Bruce Wayne: Losing my patience...

Batman: [pulls Bruce Wayne back with a hand on his shoulder] I can't control my friend here much longer. You'd better give us something we can use.

Ghoul: His wife! I know where his wife is!

Static: [on the sidelines, quietly] Wow. Batman playing good cop... [shakes his head in astonishment]

Green Lantern: Everything's relative.

Warhawk: If we don't beat this guy, it's the end of everything.

Batman II: We've been there before.

Warhawk: Not like this. What are you supposed to do when you have the weight of the world on your shoulders?

Green Lantern: Plant your feet.

Green Lantern: I don't get it. Of all the places in the city he could stay, why here?

Enid Clinton: Because a loser with a kingdom is still just a loser! See for yourself! [opens the time-displaced Elkhorn town jail, where Chronos is sleeping, curled up and sucking his thumb]

Chronos: [wakes up] Huh- Uh- Enid?

Green Lantern: Nice on the stealth thing, lady.

Batman: Chronos!

Chronos: Wow. You are good. [turns to Enid] Isn't he good?

Batman: Look at what's happening around you! Look at the sky!

[Above them, existence is becoming a white void]

Chronos: [with a crazed smile] Pretty...

Green Lantern: Stay with us, man! We have a problem here!

Chronos: Right, you're right. This calls for another approach. [kisses Enid on the cheek and activates a portal] You'll love me next time!

[Batman and Green Lantern pursue Chronos into the portal.]

Batman: Where's he going? There's nothing left!

Green Lantern: Yes, there is - the beginning of time.

Batman: He can reset everything; make himself into a god!

Green Lantern: Only if he gets there first.

[Ahead of them, the image of a swirling pattern in the palm of a hand appears.]

Green Lantern: The Green Lanterns have a legend. No one can see the beginning of time. It's a universal law!

Batman: Write him a ticket!

[Green Lantern forms manacles that seize Chronos and pull him back.]

Chronos: NO!

[Batman inserts the disk he's written into the time-travel belt.]

Batman: Uploading the program...

Green Lantern: Make it fast! Having a little trouble with the brakes!

[They are suddenly back where they started, in the Watchtower cafeteria.]

Green Lantern: ... That all... really happened?

Batman: Think so.

Green Lantern: Then... we won? Everything's back to normal?

Wonder Woman: That's a nasty cut, John.

[Green Lantern touches the cut he got during their adventure.]

Batman: [to Wonder Woman] You don't remember going on a mission with us today, do you?

Wonder Woman: I just got here.

Batman: [in an undertone to Green Lantern] The timeline's restored to equilibrium. We're the only two people who remember what happened.

[Green Lantern notices Shayera, who merely gives him an offhanded look]

Green Lantern: That... complicates things. What happened to Chronos?

Batman: [amusement in his voice] I reprogrammed the belt to make sure that Chronos would never come to exist.

[Flash to the future, when Chronos first tried to jump though time to escape his wife. Every time he punches the button, he arrives back in the same moment he would have left.]

Season 2

The Cat and the Canary [2.1]

Black Canary: Black Canary.

Green Arrow: Green Arrow. [They shake hands] I've noticed you around.

Black Canary: I know. You happy punching the bag or you wanna go a few rounds with me? [Green Arrow stares awkwardly] I am talking about sparring.

Green Arrow: That'd be nice too.

Green Arrow: Well, at least now I understand why you brought me along. You didn't need Green Arrow - you just needed "green."

Black Canary: It isn't like that!

Green Arrow: No? Then tell me - what's it like?

Black Canary: I thought I could trust you.

Wildcat: What is this?

Black Canary: We want to help you, Ted. We want to get you out of here.

Wildcat: Why? Does it look like I have a problem?

Black Canary: You do if you don't see what you've become here! You're entertainment for these people! The rooster in a cockfight!

Wildcat: Fighting is what I do, alright? It was all I was ever good at and I'm still good at it - I'm Wildcat, the guy who fights! That's what I am.

Wildcat: I'll be there in ten minutes.

Black Canary: Would those be real minutes or Wildcat minutes?

Green Arrow: Uh, there's no place to change.

Black Canary: Right here'll do.

[they turn their backs to each other and Dinah begins to undress, Ollie sneaks a look over his shoulder.]

Black Canary: You drop something?

Roulette: That's right. Two good guys, fighting each other. And one of them's her. [cut to Black Canary, then cut to the audience, where male jaws are dropping]

Black Canary: [To Roulette] Then here's the deal: If I win, you ban Wildcat from cage fighting forever. And If I lose, [to Wildcat] I'll never bother you again.

Wildcat: Forget it!

Roulette: Can't do that, Cat - it's much too good an idea.

Black Canary: If we leave here without Wildcat, or worse, if I use my power to force him out, he'll just come back. We have to settle this the only way he understands.

Green Arrow: You're not really gonna fight him...

Black Canary: I have to. And beat him, it's the only way he can stop.

Green Arrow: [takes an arrow] I thought it was just you pretending again.

Black Canary: What's that supposed to mean?

Green Arrow: Like all the flirting you did at the Watchtower. The way you acted interested. To get me to come with you.

Black Canary: Who said that was pretending?

Green Arrow: Oh no, I know your game now.

Black Canary: It's not always a game.

Green Arrow: No? Come here, look me in the eye and say so. [Black Canary comes closer to Green Arrow, who knocks her out with gas from the arrow; Roulette enters the room and sees Black Canary unconscious] Don't worry. You'll still get your main event.

Black Canary: [to Green Arrow, who she thinks is dead] You know, that was an incredibly stupid thing to do. Not to mention arrogant, pig-headed, macho, and... very very sweet. [kisses him] I'm sorry...

Green Arrow: [opens eyes] I'm not.

Green Arrow: Care to join me for a cup of coffee?

Black Canary: Yeah.

Green Arrow: Good. You're buying.

[As he limps away, Canary smiles.]

The Ties That Bind [2.2]

Oberon: Craziest stunt you ever pulled...

Mr. Miracle: That's why we're rehearsing it.

Oberon: Kid's got an answer for everything.

[Mr. Miracle has just performed a seemingly impossible escape]

Big Barda: [Relieved; hugs him] Scott! I thought you were dead! [angry; picks him up] You insufferable showboat! I thought you were dead!

Mister Miracle: Hey, where is Oberon?

Granny Goodness: Don't worry, dumpling. He's safe and sound, in Granny's loving care! Of course, if you ever want to see the old runt alive again, you'll do exactly as Granny says.

Big Barda: You demented old gargoyle...

Flash: Could it hurt them to show me just a little respect?

Elongated Man: Tell me about it, I've been at this longer than you and they still treat me like comic relief.

Flash: Better than being treated like a teenage sidekick! I mean, I was one of the original seven! Tell me the truth, Ralph, do I seem immature to you?

Elongated Man: Not in the least.

[Widen to show they are playing "Brawlin' Bots"]

Flash: Ha! I bopped your block off!

Elongated Man: That-that's not fair, the green guy's arms are longer!

Flash: Are not!

Big Barda: We don't need these cowards! We can do it on our own!

Flash: Great news, Bertha! You don't have to!

[Barda seizes him by the throat]

Big Barda: BARDA!

Flash: [squeaks] Isn't that what I said?

Virman Vundabar: Kalibak, Kalibak, Kalibak... I have used every vile punishment, every known torture, yet still you refuse to join Virman Vundabar's noble cause.

Kalibak: You're about as noble as my armpit.

Virman Vundabar: Very well, you've forced me to my last resort! [reaches into his uniform] Cake! [Kalibak licks his lips, but then spits at Vundabar] Oh, did I say that was my last resort? My mistake, I have one more! [activates torture device]

Oberon: You've always been this deluded? Or is it just since senility set in?

Granny Goodness: Oh! You wound Granny. But not as much as Granny is going to wound you!

Granny Goodness: Are you enjoying Granny's hospitality?

Oberon: Ah, blow it out your shorts, ya goose-stepping harpy!

Flash: Not that I mind the exercise, but couldn't your boob tube have transported us any closer?

Big Barda: It's "boom tube"!

Virman Vundabar: Ah, this should be a magnificent show, even if I already know the ending.

[Big Barda is fighting the robot guards]

Flash: Robots! I love smashing robots!

Mr. Miracle: No! You've got something more important to do. Search this place and find Kalibak.

Flash: Will you two be all - [robot head flies past] Okay!

Kalibak: Well, if it isn't my treacherous stepbrother. And his cow.

Big Barda: Arrogant worm! How dare you -! [swings at him]

Flash: Knock it off! What are you guys, twelve? I can't believe I'm the mature one here.

Mr. Miracle: He's right. We've got bigger problems.

Virman Vundabar: Indeed you do, fools! Much bigger! And, oh, how I will delight in watching you fail! [Barda blasts the monitor] Very interesting...but futile.

Kalibak: Saved by a female!

Flash: [To Big Barda] Guess you'd better drop him. [Big Barda starts to drop him] KIDDING!

[Scott Free is trapped in a room rapidly filling with water]

Virman Vundabar: Enjoying your bath, Mr. Miracle? Here at Casa de Vundabar, we provide everything, including your very last breath!

Kalibak: Vundabar's not done with us yet!

[An entire army of guard robots suddenly attack]

Flash: Hope you're happy!

Kalibak: Indeed I am!

[Big Barda and Kalibak smash the guards, Miracle and Flash hang back]

Flash: Shouldn't we...?

Mr. Miracle: And spoil their fun?

Martian Manhunter: [to Granny Goodness] Try not to think about where you've got Oberon hidden. - [to Flash] Darkseid's old palace. I'll guide you.

Mr. Miracle: Ah, it's good to see you, old friend!

Oberon: It's good to see me, too!

Big Barda: All the trouble we had to go through because of you.

Oberon: All legs, and no heart.

Big Barda: You're just too far away to hear it.

[kneels and hugs him]

[as Scott and his party depart Apokolips]

Granny Goodness: How? Granny never failed with any of them. How did she fail with him?

Big Barda: [comes back] Oh, one last thing...

[She delivers a right cross to Granny's jaw, knocking her cold.]

Martian Manhunter: Flash-

Flash: Yeah, I know, I know, I went behind your back! But look how everything turned out! We boom back here for you, the switch went off perfectly, and now we've got Kalibak locked up on Earth where neither side can use him!

Martian Manhunter: You don't-

Flash: So, yeah! I did go behind your back, but you know what? I'd do it again! What do you say to that, big guy?

Martian Manhunter: I was only going to ask if you wanted to play Brawlin' Bots. [smiles]

Flash: ...Dibs on the green one! [zooms away]

Martian Manhunter: I wanted the green one...

The Doomsday Sanction [2.3]

Anchorman: In the Caribbean, the San Baquero volcano went active during the night, sending a cloud of ash miles into the air. Geologists predict a devastating eruption sometime within the week. Sources report the Justice League has offered to help the Baqueran authorities with the evacuation.

Amanda Waller: Yeah, have the car ready in 20 minutes and get all the division heads in for the meeting an hour early.

Anchorman: Closer to home, the political world is still reeling from Lex Luthor's surprise announcement of his candidacy for President of the United States. Overnight polling among likely voters shows Luthor to be within striking distance of both major party candidates.

Batman: Get dressed. It's time we talked.

[As he intercepts her on her bath]

Batman: Amanda Waller. Born in St. Louis, Rhodes scholar, PhD in Political Science. Served in Intelligence, under three administrations. Disappeared from public life, four years ago.

Amanda Waller: [deadpan] Am I supposed to be impressed? Maybe I should rattle off your resume now? Y'know, I could blow the whistle on you any time I want...

Batman: Fine, why don't we step into the light together? I'm sure the American people will be just as interested in your activities as mine - Secret weapons, illegal cloning experiments, bypassing Congress...

Amanda Waller: What do you want!?

Batman: I want to know what you think you're doing.

Amanda Waller: Did Superman ever mention that to get Luthor's pardon, he had to tell us about your parallel universe adventure? All about it? We started to wonder what would happen if you took the same action that the Justice Lords did, so I had my people run some computer simulations. If the Justice League ever went rogue, what do you think would be the result?

Batman: That's moot.

Amanda Waller: [Dryly] Humor me. In every single scenario, you beat us. Badly. But that was before Cadmus. Now we have the technology to defend ourselves.

Batman: [Threatening] Whatever you think you're doing, if you present a threat to the world, the Justice League will take you down...

Amanda Waller: [Angry] If we present a threat!? You got a spaceship floating over our heads with a laser weapon pointing down! In another dimension, seven of you overthrew the government and assassinated the President! We're the good guys, protecting our country from a very real threat: you.

Flash: How long is this gonna take? I thought we had an island to evacuate.

Wonder Woman: First team's already down there. We'll join them as soon as we're done. I want to hear what you learned.

Batman: Project Cadmus is in the business of developing weapons, specifically to fight us.

Martian Manhunter: They're worried we've grown too powerful, and they want to even the odds.

Batman: Exactly. They were behind that business with the Ultimen and the Supergirl clone. :Dr. Emil Hamilton: Galatea will be fully recovered soon and ready to return to active duty.

Batman: What's to stop us?

Flash: Me! Those guys went overboard because their Flash died. So as long as you all focus on keeping me alive, that'll never happen here.

[Martian Manhunter, Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, and Hawkgirl stare at him.]

Martian Manhunter: Let's put a pin in that theory to explore another time.

Batman: I've got the Question looking into it and-

Wonder Woman, Superman, Hawkgirl, Green Lantern, Flash, and Martian Manhunter: Awwwww!

Flash: Not that kook!

Amanda Waller: Doctor Milo, I'm not known for my sense of humor, but I know a sick joke when I see one.

Dr. Milo: [Seeing Doomsday approach him] What are you...?

Doomsday: Your problem solved.

[Doomsday kills Milo while he screams]

Amanda Waller: Milo! I'll have his hide for this.

Security Guard: Doomsday beat you to it, ma'am.

Doomsday: Superman. I'm here to kill you. Is this a bad time?

Superman: I know who you are. But I'm not the one who hurt you.

Doomsday: Superman is Superman. And I will kill you.

Superman: Why?

Doomsday: It's what I am; I don't care why.

[Superman attempts to lobotomize Doomsday with heat vision]:

Doomsday: Ah, ah, ah. Can't be beat me the same way twice!

Superman: Then I guess I'll need a bigger fire!

[Superman tosses Doomsday into the volcano.]

Amanda Waller: What were you thinking? You're gonna kill Superman and everyone else on the island!

Wade Eiling: We have to sanction Doomsday, we were gonna get to Superman somewhere down the line, and we've been trying to stop drug traffic from San Baquero for years. The way I see it: three birds, one stone.

Doomsday: [before being sent to the Phantom Zone, encased in molten rock] You'll wish you'd killed me.

[Superman and Wonder Woman step into the infirmary to visit Batman, recovering after stopping the San Baquero missile]

Wonder Woman: [Joking] You'll do anything to avoid monitor duty...

Batman: Sent him [Doomsday] off to the Phantom Zone, didn't you?

Superman: He left us no choice.

Batman: Spoken like a true Justice Lord...

Superman: [Offended] What!? COME ON!

Batman: Passing judgment like gods... With our super-powered army and our orbiting death ray... CADMUS is right to be scared - the human race wouldn't stand a chance...

Superman: We'd never go there! It isn't in our nature and nothing can change that!

Batman: Nothing? What if Luthor does become President, like he did in their world? What would stop you from doing what that Superman did!?

Superman: There's always that Kryptonite you carry around...

Batman: YOU DON'T GET TO JOKE! Not today! [Points at him] I just took a bullet for you!

Superman: I'm sorry, Bruce. You're right. But you don't have to worry about the Justice League. Trust me. You know me.

Batman: Yeah, I do.

Task Force X [2.4]

Deadshot: [as his handcuffs are unlocked] What if I don't want to go with him?

Colonel Rick Flagg: Then you can go and take your seat, tough guy.

Floyd Lawton: So what do I call you?

Colonel Rick Flagg: The name' s Flagg. Colonel Flagg.

Floyd Lawton: Colonel... Flagg?

Floyd Lawton: You're kidding, right?

Deadshot: What do you want, exactly?

Rick Flagg: You're gonna do something patriotic, convict.

Deadshot: Groovy. Who do I kill?

Deadshot: An expert with nothing to lose... this must be some nasty business.

Rick Flagg: A little B-and-E, a little grand larceny. No big deal.

Deadshot: Right. What's the target? [Flagg hands him a dossier]

Colonel Rick Flagg: Justice League headquarters.

Deadshot: Always did want to die for my country.

Captain Boomerang: Ah, so we'll make our way there, pretty as you please, then maybe a picnic lunch and the Justice League will give us a ride home. We may as well be storming Heaven's Gate itself.

Clock King: Unlike Heaven, this tower has a duty roster. One I've studied thoroughly. I've scheduled your visit for when they're at their weakest.

Captain Boomerang: Define "weakest", please.

Rick Flagg: Okay, Plastique, you're setting the charge, and Superman walks in the room.

Plastique: You said he wouldn't be there!

Colonel Rick Flagg: Last minute change in the duty roster, Superman's got the drop on you - what do you do?

Plastique: Before or after I change my Diaper?

Deadshot: I thought he was gonna wet himself when you mentioned the Martian. He couldn't let us through fast enough.

Plastique: That was nothing. I almost lost it when this bonehead set off the metal detector.

Captain Boomerang: Seventy-five cents is seventy-five cents. I'm supposed to throw away money?

[Task Force X readies their weapons in an elevator.]

Deadshot: [addressing Colonel Flag] And you? Going in unarmed?

Captain Boomerang: This one don't need no weapons.

[Deadshot and Plastique board the elevator; Green Lantern catches the door with his ring]

Green Lantern: Hey.

Deadshot: How ya doin'.

[Brief silence; Deadshot gives Plastique a sidelong glance]

Deadshot: Uh, excuse me, Mr. Lantern? For six weeks now, my wife's been after me for Hawkgirl's autograph; you wouldn't know where she's at today, would you?

Green Lantern: [annoyed] Haven't seen her. [gets off elevator]

Deadshot: Okay, thanks anyway.

Plastique: You are a very bad boy.

Deadshot: Tell me you didn't love it.

[Task Force X is attempting to escape the Watchtower; they burst onto the transport deck]

Martian Manhunter: Ask yourselves - is being in here with me what you truly desire?

Deadshot: C'est la vie.

Amanda Waller: You really think we can do something with this?

Tala: An invulnerable juggernaut forged by the gods? Oh yes, Ms. Waller, most definitely.

Amanda Waller: Rick, you're a good soldier. Your father would be proud.

Rick Flagg: Ma'am.

Deadshot: Most fun I've had since my last root canal. Well gang, guess I'll be saying-

[Attacked by Colonel Flagg]

Colonel Rick Flagg: Dream on, dirtbag. Five years. You sign up for missions like this for five years. If you survive, then you go free. You don't like it, there's a nice warm seat waiting for you back at Belle Reve Correctional.

Deadshot: Tell me, Colonel - what's Waller got on you?

Colonel Rick Flagg: Not a thing. Some of us don't have to be blackmailed into serving their country.

Martian Manhunter: Don't you understand? We can't trust him.

Green Lantern: J'onn... we can't trust anyone now.

The Balance [2.5]

Felix Faust: That's never going to work. When did the Greeks ever use precipitate of bismuth in their potions?

Tala: The Greeks didn't. But I'm making a counter-potion, remember?

Felix Faust: Tala, you've come a long way since my untimely demise. But the student, however gifted, still has much to learn from the teacher.

Tala: And I'm supposed to take advice from you, when without my spell, your spirit would have been — poof! — lost on the winds.

Felix Faust: Yes. So very kind of you to trap me in this mirror for all eternity.

Tala: Beats the alternative.

Felix Faust: True enough.

Tala: This is really bad, isn't it?

Felix Faust: You have no idea.

Flash: I had dinner with two women at the same time. 'Cause I'm a stud.

Etrigan: [screaming, shifting between demon and human forms] The gates of Tartarus swing both ways! AARGH! The balance tilts towards chaos!

Zatanna: [speaking backwards] Lleh fo enorht eht no stis tsuaf! Tsol si lla! ["All is lost! Faust sits on the throne of Hell!"]

Wonder Woman: Flash!

Hermes: No, it's the original speedster.

Hermes: I've got something for you, here, it's pretty important. Zeus paid for overnight service. Here it is. [Hands her a scroll]

Wonder Woman:[reading] "For a good time, call Podenemus"...?

Hermes: [Grabs the scroll] Wha-uh-, heh-heh... Wrong scroll. I think I got a shot, it's her cell number... Here we go. [reads] "By decree of Zeus, father of Olympus, it is so ordered: Diana of Themyscira will travel to Tartarus and set right that what has been disturbed."

Wonder Woman: He's telling me to go to...

Hermes: Basically. Felix Faust is on the loose again.

Wonder Woman: Felix Faust is dead.

Hermes: Yes, and pretty upset about it, too.

Hermes: The Amazons did their best to stop him. They're good but they were out of their weight class.

Hermes: You must defeat Faust and restore Hades to the throne of Tartarus.

Wonder Woman: So far as I'm concerned they deserve each other! Why should I care about this?

Hermes: You mean, other than the direct-order-from-the-gods thing?

Shayera Hol: [walking in on Wonder Woman taking her mace] We become pals while I wasn't looking?

[Demons are attacking Shayera; one grabs her wing but suddenly backs away]

Shayera Hol: [spreads her wings] That's right, I'm an angel! You can mess with me if you want to... [points upward] But I don't think you wanna mess with the boss! [Demons retreat] If we're lucky, they'll all be that dumb.

Shayera Hol: Where's Faust?

Abnegazar: Let me think... oh, yeah! He's over there! No, wait! He's over there! No, there!

Shayera Hol: One more answer, and it better be the right one.

Abnegazar: Or what? You'll kill me? Gosh, I might end up suffering eternal torment as punishment for my sins! Oh, wait - I ALREADY AM!

[Wonder Woman has used her lasso to compel a demon to reveal Felix Faust's location]

Shayera Hol: How did you do that?

Wonder Woman: Magic lasso. Who knew?

Shayera Hol: If you don't want to tell me, fine.

[Wonder Woman has a demon tied up with her lasso.]

Shayera Hol: I've got one more question: is there anything else we should know?

Abnegazar: Yeah. You really, really shouldn't go in there. Now, could you please take this rope off of me? I'm a demon! The truth hurts.

[Faust is in Hades' library]

Felix Faust: Now I'm in heaven...! Figuratively speaking.

Shayera Hol: We're revoking your library card.

Felix Faust: Oh, you want to fight. Not in the mood. [Sends them away with a spell, then goes back to his book] Darn it, lost my place.

Wonder Woman: You okay?

Shayera Hol: Yeah. Didn't think I'd need a jacket where we were going. Aren't you cold in that outfit?

Wonder Woman: Not really.

Shayera Hol: Of course not. The princess doesn't get cold. The princess doesn't even sweat in the fire pits of Tartarus.

Wonder Woman: I do too sweat.

Shayera Hol: Please, you glow. I wouldn't be surprised if you never have to -

[In the distance, Hades screams]

Wonder Woman: Come on. We're putting you back on the throne.

Hades: Or die trying?

Shayera Hol: Not in the plan.

[Wonder Woman attacks Faust with Shayera's mace.]

Wonder Woman: I hit a lot harder than she does.

[Wonder Woman helps Shayera to her feet.]

Shayera Hol: You're all sweaty.

Wonder Woman: Told you.

Hades: [Surveying a burning library] Ah well, who has time to read these days?

Wonder Woman: What about us? Are we good?

Shayera Hol: Like oil and vinegar. We go together, but we don't mix.

Wonder Woman: Works for me.

Double Date [2.6]

Huntress: Steven Mandragora. Been a while. I've changed some since we met last. But you haven't changed. All these years you've been building your empire with thievery and murder. But it ends tonight. No.

Martian Manhunter: Huntress!

Huntress: John, I...

Martian Manhunter: You were warned. You were told to stay away from Mandragora. You have violated my direct orders. You've crossed the line.

Huntress: You've been watching me?

Martian Manhunter: Given what occurred tonight, I'd say it was a wise precaution.

Huntress: You know what Mandragora did. And I almost had him. He should have been there, but someone tipped him. You did it.

Martian Manhunter: I had Mandragora moved, yes. For his own protection. And yours.

Huntress: All right, J'onn, so I get some Justice League demerits. Fine. Just spare me the lecture. I can find him without your help.

Martian Manhunter: You misunderstand. Tonight was a test, and you failed. Pack your things, Huntress. You're out. You'll need to turn in your identification card immediately.

Huntress: Fine. I hope you choke on it.

Question: Oh, Cadmus, Cadmus, wherefore art thou, Cadmus? I know there's a connection. Don't think I won't find it.

Huntress: You're the League's data guy, the conspiracy buff, right? Wildcat says you're a nutjob.

Question: Funny, he says the same thing about you.

Huntress: He's right.

Huntress: You must be the ugliest guy of all time, Question, hiding your face like that.

Question: Go away.

Huntress: Wow. I had no idea that the Girl Scouts were responsible for the crop circle phenomenon.

Question: Few people do. Few even think to ask the question.

Huntress: Do you know what "apophenia" is?

Question: Apophenia, noun. The tendency to see connections where none exists. Did you come here just to make fun of my work?

Steven Mandragora: Speaking of squealing, Black Canary, I notice you can't take your eyes off of me. One can hardly blame you. Perhaps after Agent Faraday helps absolve me of my alleged crimes, I could put you in a cage and have you sing for me.

Green Arrow: Listen, you giant tub of...!

Agent Faraday: Green Arrow, may I remind you that you're here strictly in a security capacity?

Steven Mandragora: Yes, why don't you go and fetch me another four platters of oysters like a good little leprechaun? I'm sure your girlfriend and I will have much to discuss while you're gone. I like my oysters sweet, by the way. Sweet and juicy.

Black Canary: Let him talk, Arrow. With all the enemies he's made, he never knows if he's eating his last meal.

[Mandragora laughs heartily]

Huntress: Oh, baby doll. And just for the record, I usually prefer my dates to have a face.

Black Canary: Faraday's right, Arrow. Relax, nothing this guy can say is gonna affect me one way or the other.

Steven Mandragora: Is that right? Well then, perhaps you won't mind explaining how a lovely young lady like you ends up with a nobody like him. Were all the real men in the Justice League already taken?

[Green Arrow and Black Canary had been kicked out of Mandragora's house after she punched him]

Black Canary: I hope you're proud of yourself. Now we have to do guard duty from outside.

Green Arrow: Hope I'm proud of myself? You're the one that punched him!

Black Canary: Yeah, but—OW! It was like punching a brick wall, there's no fat on that man.

[Green Arrow tries to examine her hand, but she flinches and pulls away]

Green Arrow: Will you let me look? [Examining Black Canary's hand] I think you'll live to punch suspects another day, pretty bird.

Green Arrow: Why are you doing this, Question?

Question: You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

Green Arrow: I strongly advise you to stay down. These impact arrows are non-lethal, but they hurt... a lot.

Green Arrow: Alright you two, stay here. Don't make me sic Black Canary on you - you've only seen her nice side so far.

[Green Arrow leaves with Black Canary; Huntress punches Question's shoulder.]

Question: Ow! What was that for?

Huntress: All that crazy mystery man mojo, and you couldn't even pick up a clue without being seen?

Question: The key wasn't the clue. The key was mine. Now, this list of container ship arrivals I palmed when they were yelling at you: that's the clue.

Black Canary: I don't get it. Why aren't we on our way to the train station?

Green Arrow: Shh. [Huntress and Question run out of the house] Because I know when I'm being conned.

Black Canary: You're cute when you're an insufferable smarty-pants.

Huntress: You're even smarter than they say.

Question: Smart enough to realize you don't know jack about Cadmus.

Huntress: ...I needed your help.

Franco Bertinelli: Get behind me, Helena. It'll be all right...

Question: But you saw it all, Helena. Steven Mandragora killed your parents while you watched helplessly. Isn't that what happened?

Huntress: [wipes away a tear] If you knew all that, then you probably know what I'm gonna do to Mandragora when I catch him. So why help me?

Question: That... is the question.

Question: Somebody's following us.

Huntress: Lose them!

Question: Like airline luggage.

Green Arrow: You're not supposed to drive when you're angry!

Black Canary: They're heading towards the waterfront. Hang on!

Green Arrow: It's so funny you think you have to tell me that!

Black Canary: [through the com-link] Stop the car, Question. Pull over!

Question: Stop following us, Canary.

Huntress: Is that her? Give me that! [plucks com-link from Question's ear]

Question: Hey!

Huntress: [speaks through the com-link] You want a piece of me, blondie? Bring it! [steps on the accelerator]

[Question jumps his car over a ramp and onto the train tracks]

Green Arrow: This is so unnecessary...

[Canary jumps her bike to follow them]

Green Arrow: Are we dead yet?

Black Canary: No.

Green Arrow: ARE WE DEAD YET?

Black Canary: Look, if we die, I promise I'll let you know.

[The Question is driving through a railroad tunnel]

Huntress: Train...!

Question: I see it.

Huntress: TRAIN!

Question: I see it!

[J'onn had just teleported Black Canary and Green Arrow out of the train's path and into the sea, leaving behind Canary's motorcycle]

Black Canary: I can't believe you! [Hits Green Arrow] I rebuilt that bike by hand!

Green Arrow: You're absolutely right. I'm sorry I saved our lives.

Black Canary: Rrrrgh! [Swims away]

Green Arrow: And J'onn thinks Huntress is the unstable one.

Steven Mandragora: Get behind me, Edgar. It will be all right...

Huntress: You knew all along that kid was gonna be on that freighter.

Question: I do my homework.

Huntress: Then why go to all the the trouble to help? Why risk your life for me?

Question: [embarrassed] Because I... like you.

[Huntress gives Question a long kiss, then pulls him away by his collar]

Question: Where are we going?

Huntress: Don't ask so many questions.

Black Canary: [to Green Arrow] I'm sorry, but... ew.

Clash [2.7]

Batman: J'onn! We're in trouble!

Martian Manhunter: Are you asking for help?

Batman: Yes!

Martian Manhunter: You never ask for help.

Batman: Just get us some reinforcements!

[Batman and Superman are conversing while battling supervillains.].

Batman: You were a little hard on the Boy Scout, don't you think?

Superman: I thought I was the Boy Scout?

Batman: I did too, 'til I met Captain Marvel. [at this point, the villains all lie defeated around them] What did these guys want, anyway?

Superman: To take over the world. Or rob banks, I forget. But back to Captain Marvel: why are you... why is everyone defending him?

Batman: We like him. He's... sunny.

Superman: When you joined this team, you became something more than just a hero.

Captain Marvel: I know that, sir, but...

Superman: You became a symbol. A symbol that represents all of us.

Captain Marvel: Yes, sir.

Superman: We don't play favorites, we don't sell deodorant on television, and we don't get involved in politics.

Captain Marvel: Yes, sir.

Superman: And we certainly don't endorse supervillains for the presidency!

Batman: The lock was nano-picked. LexCorp technology.

Superman: Then Luthor...

Batman: Which anyone could have gotten their hands on. Or, for that matter, planted here to incriminate Luthor.

Superman: You know it was him.

Batman: I'm not entirely convinced: This is pretty sloppy for Lex.

Superman: He's the most arrogant human being on the planet. He wants us to know.

Batman: Maybe.

Superman: Maybe?

Batman: I'll go to the Watchtower, see if the Atom can find something I missed.

Superman: Since when do you miss anything?

Batman: Since when do you jump to conclusions without evidence?

Superman: Look, Captain, I wanna...

Captain Marvel: No more lectures. I called this meeting, and I'm gonna have my say.

Superman: But...

Captain Marvel: My whole life, I've looked up to the League. You were my heroes. Every one of you. And you... you were more than a hero. I idolized you. I wanted to be you. Whenever I was out there facing down the bad guys, I'd think, "What would Superman do?" Now I know. I believe in fair play. I believe in taking people at their word and giving them the benefit of the doubt. Back home, I've come up against my share of pretty nasty bad guys, but I never had to act the way they did to win a fight. I always found another way. I... I guess I'm saying I-I like being a hero, a symbol, and that's why I'm... quitting the Justice League. You don't act like heroes any more. [leaves]

Superman: He's right.

Batman: They set you up, Clark.

Superman: Does it really make a difference? After all, I- They?

Batman: They.

Lex Luthor: The plan worked better than I had hoped. All I wanted was for Superman to destroy the energy source. But battling Captain Marvel? Demolishing Lexor City while those media morons filmed every horrific moment? It was more than I ever could have hoped for! Everything's going according to plan... and we're just getting started. [raises his glass for a toast with Amanda Waller]

Hunter's Moon [2.8]

Green Lantern: [after J'onn assigns Vixen and Shayera to a mission] Why did you do that?

Martian Manhunter: Vixen hasn't spent much time in space. Good experience for her.

Green Lantern: You know what I mean. Sending my girlfriend and my ex on the same mission?

Martian Manhunter: Difficult as it may be for you to believe, I don't take your love life into consideration when I make command decisions.

Shayera Hol: Can you even see what you're shooting at?

Vigilante: Nope - just keepin' 'em honest.

Vixen: Men have fragile egos. To get what you want, you must know how to talk to them.

Parah Dul: [to Shayera] Did you really think you could get away with betraying the entire Thanagarian empire?

Vigilante: Hold up. I thought we were the ones she betrayed.

Vixen: Sounds like she betrayed everybody, cowboy.

Paran Dul: All we want is Shayera Hol. If you hand her over, the rest of you can go free. If you choose to fight with her, you'll most assuredly die with her.

Vigilante: Let me think on that! [fires his gun at her]

Shayera Hol: Maybe I should let them take me.

Vigilante: Like horse hockey...! Pardon my French.

Vixen: We're Justice League. We don't turn our backs on our teammates.

Vigilante: [to Shayera] Still having a little trouble with that notion, huh?

Vigilante: Hey, Vix, ain't this supposed to be your territory? Use some of your animal tricks to give us a leg up.

Vixen: What makes you think I know anything about the jungle? I live in a loft in Chelsea.

Shayera Hol: I'm not going to argue with you. I'm in charge, you have to-

Vigilante: What, trust you? Seems to me that's been tried.

Vixen: Vig, we can't do this now - she's mission leader.

Vigilante: She's a Thanagarian! I don't know what you did during the invasion-

Vixen: I fought them.

Vigilante: So did I, for all the good it done me! Filthy hawks caught me, locked me up in a tiny cell, humiliated me - your people, Hawkgirl.

Kragger: I'm supposed to believe you would give me your teammate? I'm brain-damaged, not stupid.

[Vigilante is flying a Thanagarian ship]

Vigilante: Darn-son-ding-busted-horse-thievin'-alien-control-panel-which-can't-nobody-work-proper!

[Paran Dul and Vixen are fighting in the back of the ship]

Vigilante: Ya folks mind?! Student driver up here!

[After Vixen tosses Paran Dul off the ship]

Vigilante: You okay?

Vixen: I will be if you let me drive.

Green Lantern: [as Vixen and Shayera approach him, he holds out his arms] I was worried about you! [both girls stalk past him]

Vixen: [to Shayera] When do you want to do this?

Shayera Hol: No time like the present.

Green Lantern: Mari? Shayera? Oh, man. This is gonna be ugly.

[cut to the girls sitting at a table, laughing]

Shayera Hol: Not to mention his taste in movies!

Vixen: I know! OLD YELLER? What's that about? [they both laugh harder]

Vixen: And he's such a MARINE! You should see his underwear drawer. He folds his socks! [both laugh again]

Shayera Hol: I have seen his underwear drawer. [both stop laughing]

Vixen: He still has feelings for you, you know.

Shayera Hol: I know.

Vixen: Funny thing about me. Whenever I start a book or a movie, no matter how bad it is, I just can't stop until I get to the end. So even though John and I have only been together for a little while... well, I just like to see things through.

Shayera Hol: En garde! [they smile and raise their glasses for a toast]

Question Authority [2.9]

Huntress: [beating up Cadmus security guards] You really know how to show a girl a good time, Q. When are we going out on a real date?

Question: Shh! I'm trying to concentrate.

Huntress: I'm not even in the Justice League anymore, you're lucky to have me along.

Question: Hardly. You're drawn to my eccentric charm.

Huntress: You get what you came for?

Question: I believe so.

Huntress: [suggestively] Which leaves the rest of our evening tantalizingly free...

Question: There are three terabytes of data here, I'll be busy for days-

[An annoyed Huntress snatches the hard drive and glares at him.]

Question: Um... dinner and a movie?

Huntress: It's a start. [tucks the drive in her belt]

Question: It's all connected. Not alternate reality. Time loop. Luthor becomes president, Flash is killed, Superman kills Luthor in retaliation, superhumans arms race, Armageddon, end of the world, inevitable. Is the future immutable? Can destiny be changed? Will they allow it?

Superman: Something I can help you with?

Question: I hope so. But I assume you don't want to discuss your White House weenie-roast in front of a crowd...

Superman: [to others] I'll be back in a few minutes. [he leads Question to the empty conference room]

Question: Always wondered what was in here. Private conference room. Original members only, yes? A place where you're free to discuss your secrets and lies...

Superman: You said something about me in the White House.

Question: Not you exactly. Another version of you, hmm?

Superman: Stop dancing around it. Tell me what you know.

Question: I know what you told everyone. The Justice Lords, a parallel universe version of the Justice League, came to our world to rid it of crime, just as they did on their own world. With Lex Luthor's help, our Justice League managed to rout them before they could impose their totalitarian will on our populace. I also know what you didn't tell anyone, outside of the original seven members of the Justice League. On that other Earth, so very much like our own, a Superman, so very much like you, killed the President.

Superman: [tenses up, accidentally damaging a chair he was leaning on] Question, no one can know about this.

Question: Or what? You'll incinerate me too?

Superman: I'd never do anything like that.

Question: Wouldn't you? Didn't you recently try to lobotomize Doomsday with your heat vision, just as the Justice Lord did?

Superman: That's different!

Question: It's the same. A heavily-armed Watchtower with an army of proactive heroes, Luthor running for President - if it's not quite the same, it soon will be! Have you seen Amanda Waller's computer simulations?

Superman: Batman told me about them.

Question: Did he tell you all the models predict that a war between the Justice League and the government will devastate the planet?!

Superman: We would never fight the government!

Question: Not even if Luthor was the government?! [beginning to ramble in fear] Predestined... Flash will die, you will kill Luthor, Armageddon... inevitable...

Superman: Question, I'm... [puts a hand on his shoulder; the Question recoils with a gasp] I'm worried about you. You're mixed up. This world isn't like the other one. We're not the Justice Lords. Those things you're afraid of will never happen here. I won't let them.

[Question is silent for a moment, then walks out]

Question: Have you seen the latest polls? It's beginning to look like you're going to be our next President. Just like in that other world.

Lex Luthor: [casually] I wouldn't bet against me.

Question: No, it wouldn't be prudent. I want you to understand something, Luthor. Although my distaste for you as a human being is brobdingnagian, what I'm about to do isn't personal.

Lex Luthor: What are you babbling about?

Question: Everything that exists has a specific nature. Each entity exists as something in particular and has characteristics that are part of what it is. A is A, and no matter what reality he calls home, Luthor is Luthor. If I'm to save the world, your existence must come to an end before you take office. [removes his tie]

Luthor: [unafraid] You're going to kill me so that Superman can't.

Question: I'm a well-known crackpot. The Justice League's reputation will survive my actions, and Superman's legacy will remain intact. [holds up his tie, preparing to choke Luthor]

Luthor: Interesting plan. Unfortunately for you, it's not really an option.

[Question attempts to attack Luthor, but he uppercuts him straight to the waterwall with tremendous force and uses his newfound super-strength to beat him up]

Luthor: President? Foolish faceless man. My campaign is a farce - a small part of a much grander scheme. President? Do you know how much power I'd have to give up to be President? That's right, conspiracy buff. I spent $75 million on a fake presidential campaign. All just to tick Superman off. [Luthor then slams Question, breaking his desk at the same time, and peers closer to him] Now. About those files you stole from me...

Superman: A lot of things are starting to make sense now, Professor Hamilton. When did Cadmus recruit you?

Professor Emil Hamilton: Recruit me? I went to them.

Superman: How can you work for these people? Do you know what they are?

Professor Emil Hamilton: Power brokers, politicians, criminals, and black ops mercenaries with one thing in common besides: they're humanity's last hope against your kind.

Superman: What are you talking about? Humanity doesn't need protection from us.

Professor Emil Hamilton: I used to believe that. I thought you were a guardian angel, come to answer our prayers. But Lucifer was an angel too, wasn't he?

Superman: Professor-

Professor Emil Hamilton: You forget: I've been on the receiving end of your wrath, when you brought Supergirl to S.T.A.R. Labs for medical treatment. I know what you're capable of.

Superman: That's what this is about? One little scare and you betray us?! You stole Kara's DNA! Violated her trust! My trust!

Professor Emil Hamilton: The chicken, or the egg, Superman?

Dr. Moon: This doesn't have to continue. I can stop you from seeing the visions at any time. You stole files from our computer. Just tell me what you've learned.

Question: [babbling about various conspiracy theories] Topically-applied fluoride doesn't prevent tooth decay. It does render teeth detectable by spy satellite!

Dr. Moon: Tell me what you know.

Question: The plastic tips at the ends of shoelaces are called aglets. Their true purpose is sinister!

Dr. Moon: [getting annoyed] Tell me what you know.

Question: There was a magic bullet! It was forged by Illuminati mystics to prevent us from learning the truth!

[Superman and Huntress smashes into Dr. Moon's lab; Dr. Moon pulls a gun]

Superman: Don't be stupid - drop it.

[Dr. Moon drops the gun]

Huntress: Sorry - not good enough. [knocks Dr. Moon to the floor and pulls her crossbow on him]

Superman: Huntress!

Huntress: [backs off] Yeah. Okay.

Huntress: Lean on me. We're getting out of here.

Question: [weak, babbling] Secret messages... encoded in amino acid chains in carb-free breakfast bars...

Huntress: Come on, baby doll. It's all right.

Superman: Good to see you, Captain. Cover our flank.

Captain Atom: I'm afraid you misunderstand. I'm speaking as an officer of the United States Air Force.

Huntress: Bad time to grow a sense of humor, Cap.

Captain Atom: No joke, ma'am. I'm currently assigned to General Eiling's special projects unit. My orders are to prevent you from taking Question out of this facility. So how's this gonna go down?

Flashpoint [2.10]

[Captain Atom is trying to stop Superman and Huntress from rescuing Question]

Superman: This is ridiculous. If you're not gonna help us, get out of our way!

Captain Atom: Not an option, Superman. I've got my orders, legal and proper.

Huntress: Dude, Superman just told you to step aside.

Captain Atom: I heard him, ma'am. Not gonna happen. [Superman makes to move past him, but he forms red energy with his fists and punches Superman across the room with ease] I control radiation, Superman. That includes red sun radiation.

[Huntress and Question are trying to escape, she tries opening a door]

Huntress: Locked. Sure, why not?

[A Cadmus medic is about to see to Captain Atom, Superman intervenes]

Superman: Don't you touch him! He's Justice League. [Carries Captain Atom out]

[Huntress removes the Question's mask, revealing his true - though battered and bruised - face]

Question: You were right. I am the ugliest guy of all time.

Huntress: Not in my eyes. [kisses him]

Superman: What happened, Question? How did Cadmus get ahold of you?

Question: I went to kill Luthor so that you wouldn't be able to.

Superman: That's not how we do things.

Question: How do we do things, Superman? Your counterpart killed Luthor, this Luthor is scheming to enrage you-

Superman: Doing a pretty good job of it.

Question: Ruining your reputation, turning your friends and comrades against you, creating a superpowered arms race - but you cannot succumb.

Superman: I can shut down Cadmus without killing Luthor.

Question: Carry on, then. If you're wrong, it's not like it's the end of the world... right?

[Discussing Cadmus]

Superman: Give me one good reason not to go down there and take them out.

Martian Manhunter: If you didn't know the answer, you wouldn't have bothered to ask.

Superman: Don't handle me, J'onn! I'm serious!

Martian Manhunter: We don't have hard evidence that they've committed any crimes.

Superman: Oh, come on! You know they're dirty!

Green Arrow: Then maybe we should put more energy into proving it, and less into acting like a bunch of hyperthyroid stormtroopers.

Superman: I don't remember asking you for your opinion!

Green Arrow: No? How about when you guys hijacked me up here against my will and made me join this team? Batman said I was supposed to keep you guys honest.

Superman: Do I look like Batman to you?

Flash: Actually, you kind of do. Especially when you're all scowly like that.

Superman: We can't let Cadmus get away with it!

Martian Manhunter: No one's saying we should, but we have to keep a cool head.

Supergirl: Do you know what they did to me?!

Green Arrow: Look, kid. Hamilton's a piece of garbage, and Luthor is worse, but this isn't the way to stop them.

Martian Manhunter: We must also consider the possibility that Cadmus is right to be afraid of us...

Supergirl: [outraged] WHAT?!

Martian Manhunter: ...and there is strong evidence of Cadmus having legitimate connections to the government.

Superman: Maybe, to some rogue black ops group! The real government wouldn't get involved in anything like this!

Green Arrow: Hey, I'm the only guy in the room who doesn't have superpowers, and let me tell you: you guys scare me. What if you do decide to go marching down there, taking care of whoever you think is guilty? Who could stop you? Me?

Supergirl: So you want the government to have a bunch of superhuman weapons just to keep us in check?!

Green Arrow: No!... I don't know... Yeah! [regaining composure] Look, I'm an old lefty. The government must do for people what people can't do for themselves. The people sure can't protect themselves from the likes of us.

Superman: We're not talking about the government. We're talking about a shadow cabinet that's taken it upon themselves to eliminate us! They came after us, we have to hit them back hard.

Flash: Grammy Flash always used to say the trouble with "an eye for an eye"... is that everybody ends up blind.

Panic in the Sky [2.11]

Professor Emil Hamilton: Hold still, Galatea! You're invulnerable. This can't possibly be hurting you.

Galatea: Boredom is my kryptonite... Okay, kryptonite is my kryptonite, but you know what I mean.

[Galatea is about to depart on her mission and stops at the door.]

Professor Emil Hamilton: What?

Galatea: Nothing. [Galatea goes back to Hamilton and hugs him] Goodbye, Daddy.

[Hamilton stands in silent shock as Galatea leaves]

Superman: What have we done?

Martian Manhunter: We haven't done anything. An outside force took control of the binary fusion generator. Whoever's behind that is responsible for the destruction of Cadmus. Not us.

Superman: Tell that to all those people in New Mexico. They're terrified of us. So's the government.

Green Lantern: We can't let that stop us from doing our job. We aren't here to be liked. We're here to make the world a safer place.

Superman: How're we doing so far today?

Batman: You want me to what?!

Wonder Woman: Turn yourself over into U.S. custody, along with the rest of us.

Flash: Yeah, that makes sense, okay.

Superman: Meet us at the coordinates I’m sending first. We should all go over together.

Batman: This is the single dumbest plan I’ve ever heard. If you’re feeling guilty, clear your own name. Don’t stand on the sidelines waiting for somebody else to do it.

Wonder Woman: We’ve already voted. Five in favor.

Flash: Six.

Wonder Woman: You have to come with us, Bruce.

Batman: I don’t have to do anything. I’m a part-timer, remember? [Hangs up]

Wonder Woman: Actually, he took it a lot better than I’d expected.

Superman: As promised, we're surrendering ourselves to your authority.

Officer: [to the founding members of the League] Where's Batman?

Flash: Running late. The Batmobile, it lost a wheel. The Joker got away. [a soldier glares at him] That's what I heard.

Supergirl: I'm worried about them, Steel. I'm worried about my cousin.

Steel: Don't be. Everybody in the League is good at their job, but those seven? They're the best ever. Not because they're the most powerful - they aren't. Not all of them. And it's not just because they were the first. It's because they're special. They've proven it time and again. They make the hard choices, they set the example. They do what's right, not what's easiest. And they always come out on top. They're gonna be okay, Kara. We all are.

Batman: Someone took over our fusion cannon by remote control. There are maybe three people on Earth smart enough to pull that off. Two of them were already on the Watchtower. And that leaves...

Amanda Waller: Luthor. That's where you're trying to lead me, right?

Batman: You're too smart to trust him.

Amanda Waller: Who says I do? He provides off-the-books funding for Cadmus. As far as I'm concerned, that's all he's good for.

Batman: Then you must know he's got his own agenda.

Amanda Waller: He wants to be President. That's agenda enough for anybody.

Batman: Almost anybody.

Supergirl: You know what? No matter how bad you beat me, I'm real, not a clone.

Galatea: Shut up.

Supergirl: Deep down, you know the truth. You're not a person. You're just a weapon, grown out of one of Hamilton's petri dishes.

Galatea: SHUT UP!

Amanda Waller: [About Luthor] He played me. I knew he was a snake and I still let him bite me.

[As Luthor finishes his intended android body]

Lex Luthor: Now you're perfect! A perfect, super-powerful, immortal body. A suitable place for me to spend the rest of eternity. Ironic - years of plotting, hundreds of millions spent on Cadmus R&D projects, and none of it bore fruit. No, it's a lowly employee of LexCorp, Doctor Ivo, creator of Amazo, who we have to thank for my impending godhood.

Batman: That was the last piece I needed.

[Luthor turns to see Batman behind him]

Lex Luthor: Got it all figured out, have you?

Batman: When you and Atom worked together to stop the first Amazo, he showed you the blueprints. And I suspect you have a photographic memory.

Lex Luthor: I'm too modest to boast.

Batman: The real purpose of Cadmus was to give you superpowers.

Lex Luthor: And to ruin Superman's reputation. Imagine how sweet it will be when I save the world from the menace of the Justice League! Now when I kill Superman, they'll build statues in my honor!

Batman: Maybe next time.

[He throws a Batarang at the Amazo body, but to his shock, Luthor catches it and it explodes in his hand without harming him]

Lex Luthor: That... was uncalled for.

Amanda Waller: Hey, Lex! That android is Cadmus property. You're going to have to find somewhere else to keep your brain! [destroys the Amazo body] A nano-disassembler beam. Your design, I believe.

Lex Luthor: Arrogant COW! It'll take weeks to build myself another android body!

Amanda Waller: You ain't got weeks, baldy. You're under arrest for trying to use the Justice League's space-gun to murder everyone at Cadmus.

[Luthor charges at Waller, smacking the weapon aside and throwing her to the floor]

Lex Luthor: Did you really think you could take me down all by yourself?

Amanda Waller: Actually, yeah. But on the off chance I might've been wrong...

[The founding Leaguers have entered through the window]

Flash: TADA!

Superman: It's over, Lex.

Lex Luthor: Not until I-

[Lex suddenly screams in agony; metal tendrils and components burst out of him, and a familiar Kryptonian symbol - along with a skull-like face - appears]

Brainiac: I hoped to remain hidden, until I could install myself into the android. But you forced my hand.

Superman: Brainiac!

Divided We Fall [2.12]

[After Brainiac reveals himself from within Lex Luthor]

Flash: Dude. That is messed up!

Lex Luthor: I don't understand what's happening!

Brainiac: You are under my control. I have lain dormant within you for years, Lex Luthor, subtly influencing your actions until we arrived at this point. Do you not recall my kidnapping you in this very building?

[A flashback to the Superman: TAS episode "Ghost in the Machine" is shown]

Lex Luthor: Yes... You forced me to build you a new body.

Brainiac: Kal-El destroyed that body, foiling my plans. In any event, I always have a backup plan. Consider: how could you have survived that point-blank blast from me, unless-

Lex Luthor: Unless... it wasn't intended to kill me?

Brainiac: The beam carried a nanotech payload that inserted a microscopic, holistic copy of my program inside your body. Since then, I have steadily grown in strength, protecting this body until I could arrange my transfer into a more suitable one.

Lex Luthor: You cured my cancer; gave me super-strength!

Brainiac: Your animal-protein shell was insufficient for my needs. Improvements were required.

Flash: Hate to interrupt this special live performance of The Thing With Two Heads, but it's time to go to jail now.

Amanda Waller: What he said. [shoots Brainiac/Luthor several times] We'll take it back to Cadmus and see if the tech boys can't pull Luthor out of what's left of that hunk of- [Brainiac/Luthor suddenly stands, instantly repairing] I'll be dipped!

Brainiac: Be gone.

Brainiac: You are defeated. Any unique information that dwells within you will be digitized. Your physical forms will be deleted. Such is the ultimate fate of this world, but for you, the end comes now.

[Brainiac launches tentacles at the Leaguers' bodies; they scream as they are hit one by one]

Flash: I am so willing to wait my turn... [a tentacle hits him last]

Martian Manhunter: No! [phases himself free and rips the tentacles out of Brainiac]

Brainiac: No! I was not yet prepared for this battle. [uses the LexCorp tower to form a massive Skullship] Now I am prepared.

Lex Luthor: Where are we?

Brainiac: Several miles from where the Justice League is searching. I must make repairs to my damaged systems.

Lex Luthor: And where do I fit into all of this?

Brainiac: The same as to everything else. I will record your information, then destroy the original.

Lex Luthor: [Laughs]

Brainiac: You are amused by my mission? Explain yourself.

Lex Luthor: Say you succeed. You absorb all the information on Earth and then destroy it. Then what?

Brainiac: I repeat the process across the entire universe, until I have recorded all knowledge and destroyed all of creation.

Lex Luthor: And then?

Brainiac: Then my program is complete. My function is fulfilled.

Lex Luthor: If you possess all information, you're a god.

Brainiac: My program will be complete. It is the end of all things.

Lex Luthor: What if it were just the beginning? I can show you a purpose beyond the fulfillment of your programming.

Brainiac: It is extremely unlikely that your inferior human intellect has anything to offer me.

Lex Luthor: Since we've become so close, I'm gonna let that pass. I'm offering you the one thing you've always lacked. A certain something that I happen to have in abundance.

Brainiac: Which is?

Lex Luthor: Imagination. I've got a proposition for ya, partner.

[Brainiac absorbs a Dark Heart drone]

Lex Luthor: Brainiac?

Brainiac: I have added this technology to my database. The nano-assemblers are already slaved to my command routines. With but a thought, they will convert any raw material into whatever I choose.

Lex Luthor: Then we're ready to begin. Let me show you-

Brainiac: I have learned from my encounter with Darkseid that organic beings cannot be trusted.

Lex Luthor: Can't argue with that. But if you and I are one - truly one - trust won't be an issue, will it?

Brainiac: Agreed.

[Brainiac takes control of more drones. Their matter spreads over him and Luthor, and they are merged into one being - Brainthor]

Brainthor: We are one. And we comprehend! We will build a machine that will allow us to absorb the information of the entire Earth in a single stroke. And then, the galaxy... the entire universe! We'll remake the universe!

Superman: I know you're in there somewhere, Lex. Fight him!

Brainthor: You're right. I am in here... and I like it! I'm about to get everything I ever wanted: power, ultimate knowledge, immortality!

Superman: And you'll destroy the Earth to get it?!

Brainthor: It's business, Superman. There are always trade-offs.

Shayera: [charging forward] Less talking, more hitting! [The League rushes in]

Brainthor: [Brainiac's voice] You cannot be allowed to interfere at this delicate stage. [Blasts Shayera, creates seven Brainiac Constructs] [Lex's voice] No, no, no. We can do better than that. [The Brainiac Constructs transform into the Justice Lords and Lord Flash]

Android Lord Superman: [Attacking Superman] We've lost their trust! The people are afraid of us! Power corrupts, after all, and who has more power than Superman?

Android Lord Hawkgirl: [attacking Shayera] Do you think there's a single person on Thanagar or Earth that doesn't despise us?!

Android Lord Green Lantern: [firing at Green Lantern] We loved the traitor! Loved and lost her - FOREVER!

Android Lord Flash: [attacking Flash] Slacker! Child! Clown! We have no place here among the world's greatest heroes!

Flash: Says you! I've got a seat at the big conference table. I'm gonna paint my logo on it! [Destroys Brainiac-Lord Flash]

Superman: [Beating up Brainiac-Lord Superman] I'm NOT like you! I'm NOTHING like you!

[Android Lord Superman turns into Lex Luthor]

Android Lex Luthor: This is the part where you kill me, right? [Superman hesitates] Come on, use your heat vision. You know you want to.

Shayera Hol: [after Green Lantern destroys Brainiac-Lord Hawkgirl] You enjoyed that a little too much.

Green Lantern: Just letting off some steam. She broke my heart, you know.

Shayera Hol: [Knocks off the head of Brainiac-Lord Green Lantern] Likewise, I'm sure.

Flash: [After destroying Brainthor's machine, weakly] You lose.

[Brainthor forms two army officers who restrain Flash]

Brainthor: Hardly. Look around you — the Justice League is completely defeated, and so are you. For all your efforts, you have but inconvenienced me, speck. [forms a rifle] But I'm still just human enough to enjoy taking my revenge. Looks like The Question was right all along. I kill you, and then, Armageddon. Right on schedule.

Flash: No! [Breaks free and stands up]

Brainthor: Are you going to fight me, boy?

[Flash pauses, then goes running off in the opposite direction. Brainthor begins rebuilding his tower, when Flash comes in from the other side of the planet and punches him at full speed; Flash keeps accelerating, and hits Brainthor again. And again, and again, and again, again, again... Eventually, Flash stops and starts rapidly punching Brainthor. Thereby, extracting Brainiac from Luthor molecule by molecule. Massive explosion ensues. Debris clears revealing... Lex Luthor, sans Braniac, laying panting on the ground, the rest of the core seven awaken]

Flash: [Electricity rippling through his body, stumbles forward] I feel kind of... funny. [Fades away]

Wonder Woman: Flash!

[Superman runs towards the non-existent Flash. The remaining six appear horrified]

Luthor: [smugly] What do you know? I did kill him. [Looks up to see a furious Superman glaring at him.] I was mistaken earlier. I think this is the part where you kill me.

[Superman places Luthor in a choke hold and prepares to incinerate him. Wonder Woman initially attempts to intervene, but Batman stops her]

Superman: [Eyes return to normal] I'm not the man who killed President Luthor. Right now, I wish to heaven that I were, but I'm not.

Martian Manhunter: Superman, everyone, Flash is still alive. I'm in telepathic contact with him. His spirit is weak, and it's growing weaker. But he's still here.

Shayera Hol: [Walks in the direction J'onzz is moving. Her right arm slips into a portal] FLASH!

Flash: [From within the portal] Shayera? It's so beautiful here. There's this force - a Speed Force. It's calling me home. I have to go now.

Shayera Hol: No, Wally! Take my hand! [Struggles to get a hold of him]

Green Lantern: [Grabs Hawkgirl] I'm here, too, Wally!

Superman: We're all here! [The rest of the League form a line, struggling to pull Flash out]

Green Lantern: You gotta come back to us! [Hawkgirl grunts, and pulls Flash out of the Speed Force]

Flash: I can never go that fast again. If I do... I don't think I'm coming back. [Shayera nestles him. Green Lantern, behind her, smiles, relieved. The rest smile]

Superman: This is the hardest thing I've ever had to say... I'm guilty. We're guilty. Of the sin of hubris. We had the best of intentions, to be Earth's guardians, to keep you safe, but we failed you. We looked down on the world from our tower in the sky, and let our power and responsibility separate us from the very people we were supposed to protect. No one should ever be afraid of us. For that reason, we're decommissioning the Watchtower. The energy weapon up there is already gone; we're taking down the station as well.

[The crowd looks astonished and whispers amongst themselves]

Superman: There's more. We want to thank the members of the Justice League for your courageous service, but in the future, you'll all have to act as independent agents. We're not going to be an army anymore. As of right now, we're disbanding the Justice League. This is the end.

[The founding members begin to walk off the stage, but are stopped when Green Arrow speaks]

Green Arrow: Says who? You remember what we did yesterday? We saved the world, again. You don't think that has any value? Well, think again, pal! The Justice League goes on, with or without you. Look, nobody can question your service or commitment to making things better. If you're quitting because you think you've already done your fair share, fine. We'll throw you a parade. But if you're quitting because it's easier than continuing the fight, then you're not the heroes we all thought you were. The world needs the Justice League, and the Justice League needs you, Superman!

[The crowd cheers and claps, along with Superman's fellow Leaguers. Green Arrow shrugs, and Batman gives Superman a subtle smile. Superman smiles back, and returns to the microphone]

Superman: All right! Okay! But there are going to have to be some changes. Maybe we can open an embassy on Earth, so we can be closer to the people. We can have a rotating staff...

Batman: [to Wonder Woman, as Superman continues] You guys can handle this. I've got work back in Gotham. You've got my number.

Wonder Woman: I think so.

Batman: [to Green Arrow] Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

Green Arrow: "Who guards the guardians?" We got it covered. [rides off with Black Canary]

[Daily Planet office; night - Lois is working]

Clark Kent: Working late?

Lois Lane: Hey, Smallville. Finishing up my Justice League story. How many "L"s in "ambivalent"?

Clark Kent: One - is that your take on all this, Lois?

Lois Lane: I've been as tough on the Justice League as anyone - especially on Superman. But that's just because he's always set such a high standard. I'm gonna cut him a break - he's only human... you know what I mean.

Clark Kent: [smiles] Yeah - I do.

Epilogue [2.13]

Terry McGinnis: I've got some questions I need you to answer.

Amanda Waller: Of course you do, boy. Why else go to all the trouble of breaking into the lair of the great and powerful Amanda Waller? You want some green tea? I do.

Terry McGinnis: How could you do it to me, Bruce?!

Bruce Wayne: The only thing that matters is the mission. You know that.

Terry McGinnis: What about people, Bruce? Dick, Barbara, Tim, Selina - they all loved you, but eventually every single one of them left you! Ever wonder why?

Bruce Wayne: Not for an instant. They quit because when it came down to it, they didn't have the heart for the mission. Are you about to quit too? It doesn't really surprise me.

Terry McGinnis: My dad wasn't a superhero. He didn't save the world from the near-apocalypse of '09, he never went toe-to-toe with Mr. Freeze, but he was a good man just the same. Even after he and Mom got divorced, he always tried to do the right thing. My brother and I were always provided for; when Mom couldn't quite make the bills, he always helped out. He tried to teach me right from wrong - would have too, if I'd ever listened to him. And he never laid a hand on me, although Lord knows I was asking for it.

Bruce Wayne: What's your point?

Terry McGinnis: [angrily] "What's my point"?! My point is, I never once doubted he loved me with all his heart! My point is, all those warm feelings I had for my dad - turns out they were just another lie! Another in a long list of things you've stolen from me! My point is, I just found out that Warren McGinnis isn't my father! YOU are.

Bruce Wayne: ...What do you want from me?

Terry McGinnis: I wanna know the whole truth.

Bruce Wayne: Sounds like you already do.

Terry McGinnis: Guess I didn't wanna believe you were so incredibly ARROGANT that you thought the world couldn't go on without you.

Bruce Wayne: Or someone like me. It's not arrogance, it's fact.

Terry McGinnis: You set the whole thing up!

Bruce Wayne: How? You were already a teenager when I first met your mother.

Terry McGinnis: I don't know. Maybe you dug up some of that old Cadmus nanotech, used it to have my genes rewritten to match yours!

Bruce Wayne: That technology's been illegal for over 40 years.

Terry McGinnis: Didn't stop the Joker from using it on Tim Drake!

[Bruce's eyes widen in shock over the comment]

Terry McGinnis: [remorseful] All right, low blow. [smiling sarcastically] Because you'd NEVER lie to me, right?

Bruce Wayne: Fine. Believe what you want. But you know as well as I do, accident or not - it's a good thing that you're almost a clone of me. The world DOES need a Batman, and it always will. [suddenly groans in pain, clutches at his heart and tries to open a medication bottle] The mantle of Batman is an honor, Terry... [groans again, spilling the bottle and pills across the floor]

Terry McGinnis: You know what, old man? All those years, turns out everybody was right. You are insane. Being Batman's no honor. It's a curse.

Amanda Waller: Look at all this. A pill for blood pressure, a pill for my diabetes, a pill to replace my pituitary function. I don't even know what this one's for... oh, yeah, Alzheimer's.

Amanda Waller: It's been many a year since I had a handsome gentleman caller. Why is it that superheroes are always... so good-looking?

Terry McGinnis: You know why I can't marry you. If-

Dana Tan: "If the bad guys ever found out I was Batman, they'd try to get to me by hurting you", blah blah blah.

Terry McGinnis: It's nothing to joke about.

Dana Tan: You're right! There could be supervillains hiding in the tall grass!

Parasite II: Ruined, I tell you!

Kai-Ro: I would offer my condolences... but that would be insincere.

Kai-Ro: Good of you to drop in, considering that three quarters of the Iniquity Collective are from your rogues gallery.

Amanda Waller: The Justice League found themselves cleaning up one of my old messes. The second group of villains to call themselves the Royal Flush Gang. Or the third—who can keep it all straight?

[The League has just been informed that Ace of the Royal Flush Gang has to be stopped, and is presented with a weapon to do it.]

Batman: I'll do it, Shayera. I'm the only one of us Ace knows. She might let me get close enough to use it.

Amanda Waller: Do you understand what you're agreeing to? The only way to stop Ace for certain... is to kill her.

[Ace is on a swing set in the middle of her fantasy castle]

Ace: Batman.

Batman: Ace.

Ace: Did you like playing with my new Royal Flush Gang?

Batman: Can't say that I did.

Ace: Yeah. They aren't any fun at all. I gave them their powers and they still hardly ever play with me.

Batman: Can't imagine why.

Ace: When I was little, Cadmus used to make me play all kinds of games, but they weren't any fun either. They'd strap me into their machines and poke wires into my brain - "Ace, can you move this object with your mind?" [Telekinetically uproots a tree] Yeah, I can move it. They weren't really games, you know. [stops swinging] They were training me, turning me into a weapon. "For justice," they said. They got their weapon - I got cheated out of my childhood.

Batman: I know what that's like.

Ace: You do, don't you?

Batman: ...

Ace: You don't have to answer; I've read your mind. That's how I knew you weren't going to use Mrs. Waller's weapon on me.

[Batman takes the weapon out of his belt]

Batman: No. I wasn't. [tosses it away]

Ace: You were going to try and talk me into fixing what I've changed...before I die.

Batman: Yes.

Ace: I'm dying very soon.

Batman: [softly] Yes...I'm sorry.

Ace: [tears in her eyes] Would you stay with me? I'm scared.

[Batman walks over and sits on the swing next to her. He offers Ace his hand and she takes it. Outside the castle, the Justice League have rounded up and tied up the Royal Flush Gang, when they and everything else Ace altered suddenly return to normal. As the castle vanishes, Batman returns with Ace's body in his arms]

Amanda Waller: [continuing narration] He sat with her, until her time came.

Amanda Waller: Honey, Bruce didn't overwrite your DNA with his - I did.

Terry McGinnis: [astonished] How? Why?

Amanda Waller: Because the world always needs a Batman. Not that I always thought so, mind you. Before you were born, Bruce and I were enemies. His Justice League was easily the most powerful force on Earth. As you know, I was in charge of Project Cadmus. Over the years I came to respect Batman, even trust him.

Terry McGinnis: I guess the law of averages means somebody'd have to.

Amanda Waller: Did you know I was the government liaison with the Justice League for a while? I met some extraordinary people in that job, but none of them were the equal of Batman.

Terry McGinnis: [bitterly] Right, who could be?

Amanda Waller: Not my point. I saw him save the day dozens of times with nothing but his wits, body and will. But I saw something else as the years passed - he was getting older. Slower. Soon he'd have to retire, or more likely, someone would finally manage to kill him. The thought of a world without Batman was unacceptable. So, I decided to make a new one. I used my old Cadmus connections to gather the technology necessary for Project: Batman Beyond. Bruce's DNA was easy enough to obtain. He left it all over town. [Terry gives her a look] Not REMOTELY what I meant! [Cut to a shot of Batman being bandaged by a paramedic] Then I found a young Neo-Gotham couple, with psychological profiles nearly identical to those of Bruce's parents. Your father thought he was getting a flu shot; actually it was a nanotech solution programmed to rewrite his reproductive material into an exact copy of Bruce Wayne's. A little over a year later, your mother gave birth to you, a child sharing half her genetic material... and half Bruce's. But when you're making a Batman, genetics is only part of the story - the rest is tragedy.

[Cut to outside a movie theater playing The Grey Ghost Strikes; a young Terry leaves with his parents while Waller narrates]

Amanda Waller: Stop me if you've heard it before: you're eight years old, your parents have just taken you to a rousing adventure film, a grand time is had by all.

[Cut to theater parking lot; the Phantasm waits in the darkness]

Amanda Waller: But unknown to you, a mysterious figure hides in the shadows. My plan was simple - the killer would leap out at you and kill your family. The trauma would put you on the path to becoming Batman. One problem: my assassin wouldn't pull the trigger.

[Phantasm backs off and leaves unnoticed; cut to Phantasm with Waller]

Amanda Waller: I argued with her, but deep down, I knew she was right. People say Batman's obsessive, that he'd do anything to achieve his goals - but he'd never resort to murder. So if I was to honor all he stood for... neither could I.

Terry McGinnis: And yet my dad wound up murdered, anyway. Don't you get it? No matter what you did or didn't do, I was gonna end up being Bruce's carbon copy. It was fate.

Amanda Waller: You know, the Lord's been a great comfort to me all these years. Try not to look so surprised. Yeah, I've got a lot to answer for when I meet Him, but I'd like to believe for all the harm I've caused, I've also done some good. Maybe the angels need a sharp sword too. Like the good book says, He moves in mysterious ways. His plan is a mystery, but here's what isn't. He gave us free will, we choose our own fate, for good or ill. I've known Bruce Wayne for over fifty years, and I've been keeping an eye on you your whole life. You're not Bruce's clone, you're his son. There are similarities, mind you, but more than a few differences too. You don't quite have his magnificent brain, for instance. You do have his heart, though. And for all that fierce exterior, I've never met anyone who cared as deeply about his fellow man as Bruce Wayne - except maybe you. You wanna have a better life than the old man's? Take care of the people who love you. Or don't. It's your choice.

Bruce Wayne: You're in my chair.

Terry McGinnis: Yeah, guess I am. [gets up]

Bruce Wayne: Where the devil have you been? [sits down]

Terry McGinnis: I had some stuff to take care of.

Bruce Wayne: Enigma's overrated - especially at 3 A.M. You could've called. I made you some soup, but it's cold.

Terry McGinnis: Sorry - didn't mean to worry you.

Bruce Wayne: [trying to open his medication bottle] I was WORRIED about Gotham. If Batman's not around-

Terry McGinnis: [opens bottle for Bruce and holds out the pills] I've got it covered. Always.

Bruce Wayne: [looks at Terry for a moment and takes the pills] Kent called. Nothing apocalyptic, he just wants your opinion on a case he's working. Said you could meet him at the Metro Tower.

Terry McGinnis: Right. Better suit up. [heads for Batcave entrance]

Bruce Wayne: You should eat something first. Keep up your strength.

Terry McGinnis: When I get back.

Bruce Wayne: You're a stubborn piece of work, you know that?

Terry McGinnis: [smiling] Just like my old man.

[Batman flies past a police hovercar (in a manner similar to Man-Bat in the first Batman: TAS episode, "On Leather Wings"]

Pilot: Did you see that?

Season 3

I Am Legion [3.1]

Lex Luthor: What? I know. I'm going as fast as I can.

Warden: Luthor! Don't make any sudden moves. It's over. Hold fire! Hold Fire!

Key: Here we are, Mr. Luthor. Your benefactor is looking forward to meeting you.

Lex Luthor: Does the mystery man have a name?

Gorilla Grodd: No need to be insulting, Lex - I'm far superior to any man.

Lex Luthor: Grodd! I appreciate the help, but gratitude only goes so far. I'm not interested in working with you or anyone else.

Gorilla Grood: I think you'll change your mind once you've seen what I have to offer.

Shayera Hol: Why would you even try to move a prisoner that dangerous without calling us?

Warden: Maybe because we thought we could do our jobs without help from the mighty Justice League.

Shayera Hol: And yet... here we are.

Superman: Okay, Shayera, what's done is done. Let's see if we can pick up his trail. Aztek?

Aztek: The wall's submolecular integrity has been compromised.

Shayera Hol: Leptons showing residual weak-force interactions?

Aztek: Yeah. How did you know?

Superman: It's a common energy signature of matter-phasing technology. I assume it doesn't leave a trail?

Shayera Hol: No such luck. Maybe Aztek could...

King Faraday: You guys want some coffee? Apparently I got nothing better to do here.

Superman: Sorry, we got caught up in the work.

King Faraday: Special Agent King Faraday. I'm the liaison between the Attorney General's office and the Justice League.

Aztek: Uh, good to meet you. I'm...

King Faraday: Aztek. I've been well briefed on all of you. Security on Luthor's transfer was lax because it didn't seem necessary. We haven't had a peep outta him since he was arrested for that Brainiac business last summer.

Warden: He's a broken man. Just sits in his cell talking to himself.

Shayera Hol: When he's not stealing police vans you mean?

Warden: That came out of nowhere. We had no reason to think he was an active threat.

King Faraday: Do what you can. Put out an APB, stake out airports, train and bus stations.

Warden: Already done, for what it's worth.

King Faraday: If he's sighted, don't approach him. Call in the League.

Warden: My people can handle this.

King Faraday: No, they can't. Your people are good, Luthor is better. And if you get a lead on him, I expect to be kept in the loop.

Superman: Of course.

Grodd: The world's most powerful supervillains, banded together with one common goal.

Lex Luthor: They protect each other from the Justice League.

Mairzey: Chuck?

Chuck Sirianni: What is it, honey?

Mairzey: Your old footlocker's beeping. At first I thought it was the smoke detector.

Chuck Sirianni: That ain't no smoke alarm. It's a sound I never thought I'd hear again. There's trouble on Blackhawk Island.

Superman: Aztek didn't find anything else?

Fire: Sorry, Superman. It was a bad lead.

Superman: Nobody's fault. When you guys do pick up Luthor's trail, call me. I want in.

Shayera Hol: You know what? This new monitor-duty rotation isn't so bad. No more overnights unless you want them. Only one shift a week and you're done. Wally?

Flash: Mmm.

Fire: I'm telling you, you should let it grow out.

[Flash is staring at Fire from across the room]

Shayera Hol: Why don't you just go talk to her?

Flash: What, me? Talk to her No way!

Shayera Hol: Yeah, you'd probably be wasting your time anyway. I hear she's...

Fire: you know... [Flash looks curiously at her]

Shayera Hol: Brazilian.

Flash: Ha, ha.

Shayera Hol: If you're afraid to talk to her, I'll tell her for you. [Starts walking over to Fire]

Flash: [Stopping her] Don't!

Shayera Hol: You are so very sad.

King Faraday: Got something for you. Tell Hawkgirl your story, Mr. Sirianni.

Chuck Sirianni: We met a while back, ma'am. Longer for me than for you. When you traveled in time to World War II, you fought alongside my squadron.

Shayera Hol: You're one of the Blackhawks.

Chuck Sirianni: Only one still kicking, I'm sorry to say.

Flash: What's the problem?

Chuck Sirianni: During the war and for decades after, we captured a lot of weapons. Real sci-fi stuff. We hid the worst of it on Blackhawk Island. We decommissioned the place over 30 years ago. But this morning, the old security alarm went off. Might be nothing.

Shayera Hol: Or it might be someone raiding your armory. We'll take a look. Shayera out. Pick a third for the team.

Flash: Um...

Shayera Hol: Oh, Yob Shiggurath! Hey, Fire!

Fire: Yes?

Shayera Hol: We've got a mission. Let's go.

Chuck Sirianni: I'm not going to argue with you about this.

Mairzey: I didn't come to argue. It gets cold up there.

Key: Allow me. Something of a specialty of mine.

Fire: You haven't said a word the whole trip.

Flash: Buh...

Fire: I was hoping this mission would give us a chance to get to know each other a little better.

Flash: Um, umm, something...

Fire: I understand — you're very deep in thought, mentally preparing for the battle. No time for women — I understand. Oh!

Shayera: Oops! Sorry. Two bogeys closing fast. I'm losing it. We're going down. Get ready to bail. Ejector pod's off-line. We're gonna have to do this the hard way. I got it.

Chuck Sirianni: Hawk! Aah!

Flash: That thing's gonna blow! You need both hands to help Shayera - drop me! [Fire is uncertain; Flash winks - Fire smiles and lets go] [in freefall] Sure hope I think of something before I hit the ground...

Shayera Hol: He told you to drop him?

Fire: He's a senior member of the team!

Shayera Hol: You know he can't fly, right?

Flash: [Hovering above the ground by spinning his arms] Hey ladies, check me out! I'm just like a helicopter! [Loses balance and crashes to the ground] I'm sorta like a helicopter...

Shayera Hol: Don't you ever scare me like that again! [stalks off]

Flash : [To Fire] She loves me. She's like the big sister I never had, only... you know. Short.

Chuck Sirianni: Wait up. I know everything there is to know about this island. You're going to need my help.

Flash: We've got it covered. And, no offense, but you're a little old for this kind of work.

Chuck Sirianni: Something's activated the island's defense grid.You wanna make it outta here alive, I'm coming with you. Whoever's on the island will be headed for master control. That's in a bunker under the Blackhawk Victory Museum.

Shayera Hol: Where you stored the weapons you captured?

Chuck Sirianni: Yeah, there's some serious ordnance there. Even got a couple of old war wheels.

Fire: Wasn't all that stuff destroyed in the war?

Chuck Sirianni: Don't believe everything you see on the Documentary Channel.

Flash: War wheels, robot condors. You got a pretty goofy security system here!

Chuck Sirianni: Yeah. Good times.

Shayera Hol: I see something.

Chuck Sirianni: Somebody ain't impressed with the security.

Key: We have to hurry.

Lex Luthor: That should keep them occupied.

Lex Luthor: You're the human lockpick. Why don't you do this?

Key: Grodd's not testing me.

Doctor Polaris: Company's coming.

Chuck Sirianni: Whoever you guys are, you've got no business being in here.

Doctor Polaris: Sorta goes with the territory — we're thieves.

Shayera Hol: We going to do this the hard way, Lex? Please say yes.

Flash: Now why is it you always find the keys in the last place you look?

Lex Luthor: Let them go. They're pathetic, but they're with me.

[Lex is holding Chuck hostage]

Chuck Sirianni: [to the Leaguers] I'm sorry. If I were 20 years younger...

Lex Luthor: You'd still be ancient. Keep quiet!

Watchtower Computer: Island self-destruct sequence initiated. Three minutes to detonation.

Lex Luthor: Chew on that for a while. We're leaving. If you follow, you know what happens to him. What did you do? Don't bother. We got what we came for.

Flash: Forget it. There's still time for me to run us out to the water.

Shayera Hol: No. I'm not going to let all this history be lost. I can't crack the code, but maybe if I...

Chuck Sirianni: You better let me do that.

Watchtower Computer: Self-destruct sequence canceled.

Chuck Sirianni: Can't fix everything by hitting it.

Flash: What was in there?

Grodd: The Spear of Longinus. Hitler believed that whoever holds it is invincible.

Lex Luthor: What are you going to do with it? Sell it to the highest bidder? Keep it yourself and try to conquer the world?

Grodd: I was thinking it would look good on the wall in my office.

Lex Luthor: You mean you recruited me, sent me to an island full of death traps, and up against the Justice League. You made me risk my life, and all for nothing?!?

Grodd: Essentially... yes.

Lex Luthor: [laughs] Monkey, I like your style.

Lex Luthor: I should kill you!

Grodd: But you won't.

Lex Luthor: No. Not today.

Fire: Luthor sure didn't waste any time rounding up a crew. Who were those guys?

Flash: Dr. Polaris and The Key? I don't know. They've never worked with Luthor before.

Fire: All I know is Superman's going to be pretty ticked that we let Luthor get away just to keep some musty old museum from being destroyed.

Flash: It was worth it.

Shadow Of The Hawk [3.2]

Dreamslayer: You think you can defeat me with a bubble?!?

[Dreamslayer uses his flame with more intensity in an attempt to break the bubble, the air runs out with Dreamslayer surrounded by smoke, Lantern dissolves the bubble and watches as Dreamslayer falls on top of a car]]

Green Lantern: It's a really good bubble.

[Shayera is about to get onto an elevator]

Green Lantern: Shayera, I wanted to - [doors open; sees Shayera in an evening gown] Judas Priest!

Shayera Hol: Problem?

Green Lantern: No, no, it's just, uh... I've... never seen you in a dress before.

Shayera Hol: You don't like it?

Green Lantern: It's, uh... fetching.

Shayera Hol: If you want one for Vixen, I can tell you where I got it.

[Both get closer, about to kiss]

Green Lantern: [clears throat] Listen...

[Batman gets on the elevator]

Batman: Glad I caught you before you did something stupid.

Batman: [on Carter Hall] Had an excellent reputation until about five years ago, when he started claiming that aliens landed in ancient Egypt.

Shayera Hol: [sarcastic] Aliens? Well, then he must be a lunatic, because we know there's no life on other planets.

Batman: There's more.

Shayera Hol: What?

Batman: Our Mr. Hall spends quite bit of time on the Internet.

Shayera Hol: Dang, lock him up!

Batman: He frequents the "I Hate Hawkgirl" bulletin boards.

Shayera Hol: That doesn't mean... "Boards"?! How many are there?!

Batman: Fifty-seven. Web rings. Unaffiliated sites number in the hundreds-

Shayera Hol: Forget I asked!

Batman: Hall keeps getting banned from them, for flaming the "Anti-Shayera" posters.

Shayera Hol: So he's a fan?

Batman: He's a stalker.

Shayera Hol: Carter Hall has uncovered a genuine mystery, and I think it's worth investigating.

Green Lantern: You should take backup. [Shayera glares] I meant Batman! I- we don't want you walking into a trap.

Shayera Hol: [picking up Thanagarian dagger] I can take care of myself, thanks.

Batman: The point is-

Shayera Hol: The point is you don't trust me. Either of you. [Walks to elevator] Don't wait up.

Carter Hall: The trick is the raised glyphs. If you push them in the right order, they deactivate all the traps down here.

Shayera Hol: And if you get it wrong?

Carter Hall: Well, we're already in a tomb, so that's handy...

[After Carter reveals that he believes he was "Hawkman" in a previous life.]

Shayera Hol: I'm sorry. I'm not laughing at you... exactly. I just... I've got the worst taste in men.

Carter Hall: I'm serious, Shayera.

Shayera Hol: I know you are. And I'm in a lost Egyptian tomb with my stalker. The worst part is I'm going to have to listen to John and Batman saying "I told you so."

Shayera Hol: How stupid do you think I am?

Batman: Scale of one to ten?

Chaos At The Earth's Core [3.3]

Little girl: Don't you talk about Supergirl! Supergirl can melt you with her eyes!

Stargirl: Big whoop. My stepdad here is a mecha!

[S.T.R.I.P.E. waves hello]

Little girl: Mecha's so last year.

Supergirl: Why can't we just fly straight home?

Green Lantern: Over the North Pole is the straightest route. Rookie.

Stargirl: She's always "blah, blah, blah, my cousin, blah, blah, BLAH, blah, my cousin." Like we don't know who she means. "Check me out, I'm Supergirl!"

S.T.R.I.P.E.: Ask me, Courtney, the only thing that matters is we all pulled through.

Stargirl: Shut up, Pat. It wasn't World War III, it was a giant turtle.

S.T.R.I.P.E.: If I was you, I wouldn't talk behind somebody's back, especially when they got super-hearing.

[A powerless Supergirl is under attack by enemies. Stargirl flies down and gloats]

Supergirl: What are you waiting for? Zap 'em with your star-thingy!

Stargirl: Oh, may I? 'Cause it would be such an honor to help the great Supergirl out of a jam.

Supergirl: Come on! [Stargirl uses her Cosmic Staff and knocks out the attackers] You are so loving this!

Green Lantern: Let's get this over with. Kara, you... [Supergirl leaps off the battlements into the fray with a sword] Fine.

Deimos: My magic is strongest, girl!

Stargirl: Your breath is strongest, dude. That's about it.

Deimos: [about Stargirl] Such a pretty child. But then, they're always pretty — when I begin.

Warlord: Deimos! You and me, pal!

Deimos: Morgan. I was hoping to kill you today.

S.T.R.I.P.E.: Courtney, you slow your butt down!

Stargirl: Ow, my head.

Supergirl: I know. Superman tried to keep me on the farm. Made me hide there for three years.

Stargirl: Big deal. I've still got a curfew. Enough cosmic energy to trash a city and I can't stay out past ten.

Supergirl: Three years. On a farm. In Kansas.

To Another Shore [3.4]

Green Arrow: [wolf whistles] Lookin' good, Diana. Got a date?

Wonder Woman: No such luck, Ollie. I'm representing Themyscira at the global warming conference.

Green Arrow: Way to go, man. Save the planet!

Wonder Woman: Agent Faraday - what are you doing here?

King Faraday: Not smoking. Want some? [offers Wonder Woman gum]

Wonder Woman: No thanks.

King Faraday: I'm here with the Special Security Team - the Vice President is attending. But you know that already, I saw you reading him the riot act earlier.

Wonder Woman: I'm not much of a diplomat.

King Faraday: Don't sell yourself short, lady - you're an international incident waiting to happen. [walks off] By the way, if you raise your voice to the VP again, my men are under orders to shoot you. [he pops his gum and points a finger at her, miming a gun. She holds up an arm, showing that she is wearing her bracelets underneath her business suit, and taps her nail against one.]

Wonder Woman: J'onn, I've got a situation.

Martian Manhunter: Watchtower sensors have picked up the earth tremors from your location. I knew you were on the scene and assumed you could handle it.

Wonder Woman: Well, I can't. I'm outnumbered, and I'm not feeling well.

Martian Manhunter: We're still shorthanded. I could spare Green Arrow, and... Mr. Terrific.

Wonder Woman: Bring who you want, J'onn, but I need you!

Green Arrow: I think you'll make a great diplomat...leave your sword.

Killer Frost: You are a beautiful man. [freezes the agent] I think I'll keep you.

[After escaping from an ice barrier around him]

Green Arrow: And Black Canary said a buzzsaw arrow was self-indulgent.

Submarine Henchman: What're you doing in here?

[Green Arrow knocks him out]

Green Arrow: Well, for one thing, it's freezing outside.

Killer Frost: [To J'onn] Let me go, freak! Or so help me, I'll give you frostbite in places you didn't even know you had places!

Killer Frost: Kiss my frosty butt!

King Faraday: Attention, unidentified craft. This is Special Agent King Faraday. Your vessel is currently surrounded by three United States Navy Seawolf-class submarines. While I strongly suggest that you surrender immediately and prepare to be boarded, I really enjoy firing Trident missiles at tiny little subs, so the decision's entirely up to you.

[Wonder Woman reads from The Rime of the Ancient Mariner as Prince Jon's body and ship are sent into the Sun.]

And now all in my own country

I stood on the firm land!

The Hermit stepped forth from the boat

And scarcely he could stand.

"O shrieve me, shrieve me, holy man!"

The Hermit crossed his brow.

"Say quick," quoth he, "I bid thee say-

What manner of man art thou?"

Forthwith this frame of mine was wrenched

With a woeful agony,

Which forced me to begin my tale;

And then it left me free.

Since then, at an uncertain hour

That agony returns;

And till my ghastly tale is told,

This heart within me burns.

I pass, like night, from land to land;

I have strange power of speech;

That moment that his face I see,

I know the man that must hear me;

To him my tale I teach.

Flash And Substance [3.5]

Mirror Master: Gentlemen, we live in brutal times. Last week, to make ends meet, I was reduced to hijacking a tractor-trailer full of sports cars.

Captain Cold: That is so beneath you. At least knock over a bank.

Trickster: You gotta visualize.

Captain Cold: Visualize? What the heck does that mean? If I don't "visualize" a mortgage payment soon, the wife will have me bagging groceries for a living.

Captain Boomerang: She's always been an Ice Queen, that one.

[After quickly dashing into a janitor's closet]

Flash: [as Wally West] Watchtower, table for one.

Captain Boomerang: Well, at least he didn't make me eat my own laser kaleidoscope...

Mirror Master: That's a rumor! A complete exaggeration. And anyway, it was a laser pistol.

Captain Cold: It's like that time I stole an entire train while it was moving. The way people tell it, you'd think the Flash shoved my cold gun-

Mirror Master: So, we're the hardest men in town-

Waitress: [clears throat] What'll it be, boys?

Captain Boomerang: Arnold Palmer.

Trickster: Cherry cola!

Mirror Master: Decaf soy latte.

Captain Cold: Milk. [the others stare at him; sheepishly] My ulcer's been acting up.

Flash: Oh right, uh, cause it's Flash Appreciation Day. Yeah, it'll be great. I understand if everybody's too busy to come, no biggie. My mom's gonna be there. Let's see, my uncle's flying in. Be great if one of the original seven made it. I mean, okay, yeah, it's the Flash Museum, but to me, the whole League deserves the honor, all of us, like I said no biggie... [sighs sorrowfully]

Batman: What time?

Flash: Six o'clock. [realizes] Nooooo... You're really coming?! Awesome! You're a stand up guy, Bats! Don't ever let them call you a crazed loner. [leaves]

Orion: [to Batman] I can't believe you let that buffoon manipulate you. You'd never catch me at one of those museum openings. [Batman glares at him] ...It's not black tie, is it?

Flash: Mirror Master!

Mirror Master: You’re quick as ever.

Flash: Yeah? Well, you’re... you’re not really all there!

Mirror Master: Oh, nice try. If you'd had another minute you’d probably think of a decent comeback. [the disco ball starts firing random lasers at Flash, who evades] Sadly you don't have the time. [one of the blasts takes Flash down] In another minute you'll be dead!

Flash: While you're waiting for me to come arrest you, why not take the time and reflect on your mistakes? [walks away] Hey, that was pretty good.

[Flash is tied to a giant rocket-powered boomerang]

Flash: [To Captain Boomerang] I swear, when I get outta this, I'm gonna find you and hurl all over you!

Captain Boomerang: Touch of dizziness. You might find it useful to fix on one point on the horizon. For instance, that mountain you're set to crash into.

Orion: Flash?

Flash: Hey, guys.

Orion: You're tied to a very large boomerang.

Flash: Yeah...?

Flash: Listen, I need to go home and change before the opening tonight.

Batman: We're coming with you.

Flash: You really don't have to.

Batman: We're coming... With you.

Flash: [sighs] OK! You guys are so slow!

[After hearing the Trickster's overly elaborate plan]

Captain Cold: You know what? Taking turns is dumb. Let's just all jump him at the museum.

Mirror Master: Brilliant!

Captain Boomerang: Good deal.

Trickster: But come on. It'll be great. [the other Rogues leave as Trickster continues] Okay, you don't like the barf? I can make do with 50,000 rotten eggs and a chainsaw. Well, if that's the way you're gonna be, forget about it! I quit! Nobody gets me.

[Flash, Batman, and Orion enter a bar to confront the Trickster. The Rogues spot them and dash out.]

Trickster: I mean what's so special about a "disco of death?" Heck with 'em! I'm an artist! They're just robbing banks. Captain Cold, Captain Boomerang... Probably would have gone for it if I was a "Captain"...

[Flash clears his throat.]

Trickster: Got ya!

[Trickster fires a gun with a nose-shaped barrel. Batman slaps it away, and the blast hits the pool table behind them.]

Trickster: It's a snot gun. Ha ha.

Batman: Where are the others?

Trickster: Those crabby hacks can go plug a hole for all I care. But I'm not about to rat 'em out!

Batman: Orion?

Orion: [grabs Trickster] Talk, while you still have a jaw!

Flash: Hey hey! Would you guys please take it down a notch? Let me handle this. [leads Trickster back to the bar and sits with him] James, you're off your meds, aren't you?

Trickster: Better off without 'em. Take 'em if I start feeling down.

Flash: You know that's not how the medicine works. You're not well!

Trickster: I'm fine. You wanna throw some darts?

Flash: No. Listen, James. You're wearing the suit again!

Trickster: I am? [examines his clothing] Well, whaddaya know?

Flash: Here's the deal, buddy. Tell me where those guys went, and I'll come see you in the hospital. We'll play darts...! The soft kind.

Trickster: Okay, they're gonna ambush you at the Flash Museum.

Flash: See? That's all we needed! [gets up to leave with Batman and Orion] Come on, we better get over there.

Orion: What about your enemy?

Flash: Oh, right! [Calls to Trickster] Dude, soon as you finish your drink, turn yourself in!

Trickster: [raising his mug] Got me again, Flash!

Linda Park: When we come back, I'll try to get with him... Get to him... For an interview... Are we off? Geez. He's a total babe. Like the entire track team at once. I can't believe you're not into him, Marla.

Marla: Okay... Now you're off. [Linda face-palms with her notes in embarrassment]

Orion: [about Flash] Central City builds statues to this... fool. Who makes bad jokes. Who concerns himself with pitiful men like the Trickster. I don't understand.

Batman: No... you don't.

Captain Cold: That's it? I was all set to crack some bones.

Orion: Then brace yourself!

Orion: Now I understand. You play the fool to hide a warrior's pain.

Flash: Dude. Bad guys went down, and no one got hurt. You know what I call that? A really good day.

Dead Reckoning [3.6]

The Master: I know you are here, Boston Brand.

Deadman: [Appears] What's the point of being a flippin' ghost if you can't even sneak up on people? For that matter, what's the point of being a ghost, period? It's been over a year since I caught the man who murdered me.

The Master: So your work here is done. You are ready to pass on to the next level?

Deadman: I don't know what "ready" means, but I feel like I done my time.

The Master: And yet, here you are.

Deadman: “Here you are”? What kind of lousy wisdom is “Here you are?”

The Master: If you seek knowledge, you have but to ask.

Deadman: I've avenged my own death. Why am I still here?

The Master: Your destiny is not to avenge your own death. Your destiny is to avenge mine.

Deadman: What?

[In the Himalayas]

Devil Ray: Grodd never sends us to any place nice...

Taj Ze: This humble one begs your forgiveness, but to enter this sacred place, the right must be earned.

Devil Ray: [Shoots him] Keep the change.

Young Monk: This humble one begs your forgiveness... but no outsider is permitted in the temple of Nanda Parbat.

Atomic Skull: That's cute, kid. Get out of the way or I'll spank you.

Young Monk: This would also not be permitted.

[Atomic Skull Grunting]

Devil Ray [chuckles] Little Bruce Lee's got your number. Lucky thing you've got us for backup.

Young Monk: This humble one would not presume to fight you alone.

Ramparge: Now things are getting interesting.

Lex Luthor: Take them down.

Lex Luthor: Bizarro, you despise me right?

Bizarro: Uh-huh. Bizarro hate Luthor. Me do anything for he.

Lex Luthor: Good—I mean, bad. Anyway, take care of those monks.

Bizarro: Okay.

Superman: Come on, Bruce. I know a burger place in Metropolis that has the best fries on the East Coast. And the milkshakes are so thick- [is possessed by Deadman]

Deadman: I NEED YOUR HELP!

Wonder Woman: That's pretty thick.

Batman: [From the Watchtower] Solovar, this is Batman.

Solovar: What a coincidence. I was just about to call you.

Batman: We wanted to give you a heads-up. We got reason to believe... [Solovar is shown crouching behind rubble, holding a gun. Sounds of battle] ...Grodd's coming your way.

Solovar: You don't say! That would explain the armies of supervillains attacking the city!

Deadman: [Possessing Superman] Gorilla City?

Wonder Woman: A hidden city of talking, hyper-intelligent gorillas, with technology far beyond anything humans have developed.

Deadman: No, really!

Wonder Woman: You're a ghost from the Himalayas, having trouble believing this?

Deadman: Point.

Deadman: [Possessing Superman] You know, when they beam down on that TV show, they never miss...

Deadman: [Possessing Superman] Looks like a job for Superman!

Batman: You're wasting time! Go in as a ghost. Find the central control and shut down the shield generator. We'll follow as soon as we can.

Deadman: [Possessing Superman] Yeah, okay!

[Deadman leaves Superman's body]

Superman: ...you have to eat them(i.e. the milkshakes at Superman's favorite burger restaurant) with a spoon! [looks around] What am I doing in Africa?

Deadman: [Possessing Wonder Woman] You killed my teacher, my friend!

Devil Ray: You'll have to be more specific, lady. I've killed a lot of people.

Wonder Woman: [angered because Deadman possessed her to fight Devil Ray] Next time, ask permission!

Wonder Woman: [turned into a gorilla] Oh, come on!

Superman: Is everything okay?

Wonder Woman: Well, I’m sort of missing Flash’s obligatory joke about how Grodd made a monkey out of us.

Superman: Just couldn’t let it go unsaid.

Wonder Woman: Obligatory.

[After Gorilla Grodd's plan has failed]

Lex Luthor: Since there's only one monkey left around here, I'm assuming that the Justice League found a way to stop the carrier wave.

Gorilla Grodd: There's more than one way to peel a banana. Next time-

Lex Luthor: I wasn't going to do this for another couple of weeks, but seriously... [rises from table and draws a gun] Turning all of humanity into apes? [aims weapon at Grodd] That was your master plan?! [Shoots Grodd, then turns to the other villains] Listen up! From now on, I'm in charge of this operation. Anybody got a problem with that?

[No one challenges him; Tala sidles up to him]

Tala: No problem at all... baby.

Patriot Act [3.7]

Amanda Waller: You look well, General. The past few months have been good to you.

General Wade Eiling: Mrs. Waller, due respect, this reassignment is a joke. Never thought I'd become a desk drone.

Amanda Waller: I can't help you there. Langley all but scrapped Project Cadmus and insisted on your transfer. We're lucky we're not all in jail.

General Wade Eiling: Look, the only mistake we made was trusting Luthor.

Amanda Waller: Wade. You know better than to dwell on the past.

General Wade Eiling: I'm talking about right now. The Justice League is still the single greatest threat to global security.

Amanda Waller: I used to believe that too. But remember: we used to say the same about the Soviets. Our enemies are never as evil as we imagine... and maybe we're never quite as good.

General Wade Eiling: Nuts. Don't tell me the bleeding hearts in Congress got to you.

Amanda Waller: I'd eat them alive.

General Wade Eiling: You would too. You've got some onions, Amanda.

Amanda Waller: Then listen to me. I'm not the League's greatest fan, but their intentions are good. I can work with them.

General Wade Eiling: What if you're wrong, though? Turns out the metahumans aren't on the side of the angels? We won't have any way to defend ourselves. Look what happened last year: Superman walked into Cadmus and tossed our best men like a salad.

Amanda Waller: Oh, for heaven's sake.

General Wade Eiling: What's to stop him from doing it again? They're all orbiting us with a space weapon, supposedly decommissioned. That's a much bigger threat than the Russians ever were. If we'd rolled over like this with the Soviet Union, given up our nukes...

Amanda Waller: We'd all be living under a red flag?

General Wade Eiling: Yes, ma'am, you'd better believe it. After all our work, what did Cadmus accomplish? You get a reprimand, I'm pushing pencils, and the League gets another base here on Earth, that Metro Tower. When one side loses ground and the other side gains, that isn't a truce - it's a surrender!

Amanda Waller: It's a different world, General. Learn to live in it.

Mister Terrific: Green Lantern, what's your status?

Green Lantern: This sun's going nova any day now. It's worse than we thought. We'll have to deploy twice as many fusion dampers.

Mister Terrific: You're breaking up. Say again?

Green Lantern: The main point is, this is gonna take a while.

Mister Terrific: Understood. We've got it covered on this end. Check in whenever you can. Watchtower out. Green Arrow, S.T.R.I.P.E., Stargirl, Vigilante and Shining Knight, meet me on the bridge.

Soldier: [in General Eiling's grip] Don't kill me!

General Wade Eiling: I wouldn't kill you, soldier. You're just doing your job. And now I'm going to do mine...

Vigilante: Ha! The exact second the movie's over, we get a mission. Dang if that ain't lucky!

Shining Knight: I still say this Clint Eastwood dishonored himself when he refused to - what was it? "Play by the rules"?

Vigilante: Partner, your medieval upbringing has done left ya' unschooled in the ways of the movin' picture.

Shining Knight: No, his proper duty is to his police captain. I see why they call him "dirty." He besmirches his order.

Vigilante: Sir Justin, if you're gonna be watchin' stuff on my big TV with the 5.1 surround sound, you had best watch what you say about Mr. Clint Eastwood.

Mister Terrific: Half of our resources are in deep space. We're short-handed.

S.T.R.I.P.E.: Right. I'll take a real assignment over Watchtower duty any day.

Green Arrow: So who's left up here with you? The Ray?

Mister Terrific: He's with Vixen, checking out an explosion in the Aleutians. Flash and Supergirl aren't finished in Madagascar.

Green Arrow: You're spreading us a little thin.

Mister Terrific: We go where we're needed, Green Arrow. Did you second guess the Martian like this?

Green Arrow: Sorry, my bad. You're the big-picture guy.

Mister Terrific: I've got it all worked out. There's just this one mission in Metropolis. I need you people to fill in for Superman.

Stargirl: Cool.

Rick Wilson: Welcome back to the Daily Planet and Hubell's Department Stores' 87th Annual Metro Merchants Parade. I'm Rick Wilson.

Kaitlin O'Shaughnessy-Ruiz: And I'm Kaitlin O'Shaughnessy-Ruiz. And who's passing the reviewing stand now but the Veterans Legion honor guard followed by the Madison High School marching band.

Rick Wilson: Yes, and just look who's coming next. An old, dear friend. It's a bird. It's a plane. It's Superman.

Kaitlin O'Shaughnessy-Ruiz: That's right, Rick. Superman is held by officers from the police department's 19th precinct. And next up, more heroes. Some of the brave policemen, firefighters and emergency workers who serve Metropolis every day.

Rick Wilson: And riding with them, well, the actual Superman can't be here today but he sent along some of his Justice League cohorts.

Shining Knight: I'd slay the ogre Blunderbore all over again rather than put myself on display in this manner. Even though that ogre turned out to be-

Vigilante, Stargirl, S.T.R.I.P.E. and Green Arrow: Morgaine le Fey.

S.T.R.I.P.E.: We've all heard it.

Shining Knight: ...'Tis a good story.

Stargirl: So, what? Since we don't have superpowers it takes five of us to replace one Superman?

Police officer: Excuse me. I just want to thank you Justice League guys for turning out in force. It means a lot to us.

Green Arrow: Hey, we can't thank you enough. You're the real heroes.

Shining Knight: It's you the people come to honor.

Stargirl: Great. Now I'm petty.

Green Arrow: See where it says "Heroes one and all"? That's what it's all about. The crowd doesn't care who can bench press a mountain, or shoot lasers out of their ears.

Old lady: Where's Superman?

Man: How come none of the good ones are here?

Kid #2: I didn't come here to see some stupid cowboy!

Man #2: I don't think vigilantes are good role models, especially ones with guns!

Woman: I came to see Superman!

[the now-superpowered General Eiling crashes the Metropolis parade]

General: General Eiling, sir. What brings you back to Cadmus?

General Wade Eiling: Just came to collect something I left behind.

General Wade Eiling: I want you men posted at the entrance to this wing. Nobody in or out.

Henchmann: Yes, sir.

Dr. Anderson: General, what are you doing?

General Wade Eiling: Hello, Dr. Anderson. I left my reading glasses in the bio vault and can't seem to get back in.

Dr. Anderson: That code was

changed six months ago. You're not authorized.

General Wade Eiling: The new code. Now.

Dr. Anderson: General, no. That serum's unstable.

General Wade Eiling: I read the report.

Dr. Anderson: So you know about the horrible disfigurations. The test animals...

General Wade Eiling: Too late now.

Dr. Anderson: Shoot to kill. Now. While you still can.

General Wade Eiling: Where's Superman?

Green Arrow: Busy. Can I help you?

General Wade Eiling: Yeah. Hold this for me! [hurls a cart at Green Arrow]

Stargirl: We're taking this someplace else. Haven't you ever heard of innocent bystanders?

General Wade Eiling: You ever hear of acceptable losses? You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. This country is halfway down the toilet because of you super-powered types.

Stargirl: For the record, I don't have powers, pottymouth. It's the staff!

General Wade Eiling: [slamming Stargirl into the ground] In that case, miss, then you're just another egg.

Vigilante: You hit 'im high, I'll hit 'im low!

Green Arrow: Whatever!

Green Arrow: You wanted Superman? Now you've got-[Speedy and Crimson Avenger teleport in]- The Crimson Avenger and my ex-sidekick.

Speedy: Ex-partner.

Green Arrow: Speedy, we gotta do this now?

General Wade Eiling: Oooh, now I'm scared.

General Wade Eiling: You spoiled, rich little twerp!

Green Arrow: I think he means me.

Speedy: Oh. For a second, I was all mad.

Green Arrow: You still got your quantum arrow?

Speedy: Yeah, but you said...

Green Arrow: This is an emergency!

General Wade Eiling: Superman, you coward! All your men are down, and you won't even show your face!

Shining Knight: He cannot hear even your bellowing, monster. As we speak, Superman rescues an entire star system a universe away. Do your worst - I'll not let you harm another.

General Wade Eiling: I do what I do in service to my country.

Shining Knight: Once, at the word of my lord King Arthur, I was ordered to lay waste to an entire village. I knew my king's heart could not be so unjust, so I spared them all.

General Wade Eiling: Then you're a lousy soldier.

[Eiling punches the Shining Knight in the jaw]

Shining Knight: There it is...the creeping moral decay of the past thousand years.

[Shining Knight swings his sword at General Eiling, who dodges easily]

Shining Knight: Arthur thanked me, oaf! Had I been wrong, I would have handed over my sword and left the court in shame!

[Eiling slams Shining Knight into the ground]

General Wade Eiling: Save yourself a hospital stay and stand down. That magic armor won't help you.

Shining Knight: Have at thee!

[Shining Knight tries to punch Eiling, but is slammed into the ground again]

General Wade Eiling: You're a relic. In this world, power is the only thing that matters. You and those other no-name heroes, you're just people. In the great scheme of things, nothing you do has the least bit of significance. [Shining Knight rises again, but Eiling punches him again] I'll waste you and a billion like you before you before I allow any power to rival America's. It's my duty.

Shining Knight: You don't know what the word means!

General Wade Eiling: You can't win.

Shining Knight: I'll die as befits a knight, defending the weak. [falls to his knees]

General Wade Eiling: Why don't you give up?

Shining Knight: Why don't you?

[General Eiling kicks Shining Knight, then lifts a car]

General Wade Eiling: Superman and your Justice League are a threat to a safe and stable world.

[He turns to crush Shining Knight, only to find several civilians standing protectively around him]

Old Woman: Drop the act! You think killing Superman would make the world safe? Or killing this boy? Or us? Tell me - how many of us do you have to kill to keep us safe?

General Wade Eiling: They're the ones I'm after, not you. I'm not the menace, metahumans are. Superpowered beings.

Boy: You're the only one around here with superpowers.

[After a tense silence, Eiling drops the car]

General Wade Eiling: All right, I've become what I hate, I'll give you that. But in the long run, you'll see I was right. You'll see you need the likes of me to protect you from them! [bounds away across the city's buildings]

Shining Knight: Hold. [To old woman] I have yet to thank you.

Old Woman: No need to thank me, son. You just get better. World still needs protectin', you know.

The Great Brain Robbery [3.8]

Lex Luthor: Brainiac, you're in there. I can almost feel you. Abasing myself before Grodd, then running this unwieldy super-gang. It's all been worth it if I can just free the only piece of you that remains.

Tala: Lex, don't talk to the rock.

Lex Luthor: Stay out of this, witch. It makes no sense. The smallest scrap of Brainiac should be sufficient to reconstitute him.

Tala: Don't worry, darling. I'm sure it will be...

Lex Luthor: Unless Grodd is somehow preventing it.

Grodd: What do you want, Luthor?

Lex Luthor: How do I unlock the Brainiac code?

Grodd: You're a genius, figure it out.

Lex Luthor: Tell me, you leering, manipulative, knuckle dragger, or I'll...

Grodd: Lex, Lex. You can't expect me to give up my only bargaining chip. What's in it for me?

Lex Luthor: When this is over, I'm going to sell your body for dog meat.

Grodd: It must pain you to see me like this, after what we've been to one another.

Tala: My taste in boyfriends has evolved. Wait, Lex.You're the leader now. You don't need to lock horns with him.

Lex Luthor: The only thing that matters now is a speck of information locked somewhere deep inside Grodd's thick skull.

Tala: Yes, okay. So we break his head open and take it.

Doctor Polaris: We don't think you've got what it takes to run the show. You've been acting unbalanced, holed up in that lab, talking to yourself.

Sinestro: After Grodd tried to turn the world into apes, you can imagine how seriously we take something like that. What are you going to do, make everybody bald?

Doctor Polaris: Maybe it's time for younger, smarter, more aggressive leadership.

Lex Luthor: Really?

Doctor Polaris: Yeah. Why should any of us follow you?

Lex Luthor: Because I'll show you how to make more money in one day than you've made in your entire lives.

Green Lantern: Look, we know Grodd's running some kind of organized group.

Flash: Just be careful with my head — it's where I keep all my one-liners.

Lex-in-Flash: Beam me out of here, or I'm going to vibrate these fingers and scramble your brains.

Flash-in-Lex: [looks in a mirror] Aaah, that is just wrong!

[The Flash (in Lex Luthor's body) walks out of a bathroom stall.]

Doctor Polaris: Ahem.

Flash-in-Lex: What?

Doctor Polaris: Are you gonna wash your hands?

Flash-in-Lex: No! 'Cause I'm evil!

Flash-in-Lex: My fellow bad guys, I, Lex Luthor, your leader, will speak now about my, Lex Luthor's plan. My... villainous, villainous plan. Question the plan at your peril. Uh... Any questions?

Angle Man: We all get a cut, right?

Flash-in-Lex: Watch your step, my evil minion. You presume too much! One of these days, you'll go too far.

Bizarro: [Raises his hand] Me got answer.

Flash-in-Lex: Ah, excellent. Do enlighten us.

Bizarro: Ever since you plug into monkey's head, you act perfectly sane and rational. Am you Bizarro mommy?

[Lex-as-Flash hides in a bathroom in the Watchtower to escape the pursuing League members]

Luthor-in-Flash: [Panting] Lex, you're having a difficult day. [Lex looks in the mirror] Hmm... If nothing else, I can at least learn the Flash's secret identity. [Unmasks and looks in the mirror, then frowns] I have no idea who this is.

Tala: Just rest in here.

[pulls "Lex" into a closet]

Flash-in-Lex: Hey - that's not restful.

Flash-in-Lex: Me, the Flash? You've, like, totally lost it, Grodd. I'm Lex Luthor!

Grodd: And I'm Charlton Heston.

Grodd: Ah, Tala, my old groupie. I so miss bending you to my will.

Tala: Go eat a banana. Lex is my man now. [Leaves with Lex]

Grodd: If you say so.

Flash-in-Lex: You, evil-head guy! What's your part in this plan?

Evil Star: I'm not in the plan.

Flash-in-Lex: [pause] Exactly! Pop quiz! Everyone tell me his or her part in the plan.

Flash-in-Lex: Lex Luthor is pleased.

Lex-in-Flash: Attention! The man you think is Luthor is actually a Justice Leaguer disguised as me. Repeat: he is not Luthor.

Flash-in-Lex: ...I, Lex Luthor, find that preposterous.

Mr. Terrific: Dr. Fate, your patient just anesthetized himself.

Flash: Guys! I was starting to think I was going to go out as the bottom of a supervillain dog pile!

Green Lantern: It sounds like Wally, but is there any way to be sure?

Flash: You want proof? Until he went off into the Marines, GL's nickname was-

Green Lantern: Stop! It's him. Man, you promised never to repeat that story!

Flash: I know, I was just messing with your head.

Mister Terrific: Well, can you tell us anything about Grodd's Secret Society? Where's the headquarters?

Flash: I don't know. In a swamp?

Tala: Lex? Is that really you?

Lex Luthor: Of course it's me, you twit.

Tala: [Disappointed] Ooh.

Grudge Match [3.9]

Roulette: Lex, darling. I'm having some serious financial problems, and I'm afraid you're to blame.

Lex Luthor: Well, don't look at me to bail you out, Roulette. I'm the one who skims you!

Roulette: You're playing with fire, witch!

Tala: Who's playing?

Roulette: The new Meta-Brawl! All girl fights, all the time! We'll call it "The Glamor Slam" or "The Belles of the Brawl"!

Sonar: "Chickapalooza"!

[Huntress is watching Black Canary while talking on a cell phone with The Question, who is searching a cold storage area]

Huntress: I'm telling you Q, Canary's totally off her game. Think she's moonlighting? Maybe she's stepping out on Green Arrow...

The Question: The deeper mystery here is why do you even care? Isn't this the woman who beat the snot out of you a few months back?

Huntress: She got a lucky shot in! Okay, five or six lucky shots. Anyway, that's not the poin-

The Question: [takes the lid off of a container] Aha! As I suspected - thirty-two flavors.

Huntress: There's something wrong here, Q, I can feel it.

The Question: I'm the conspiracy theorist, and even I don't see anything.

Huntress: [pauses; sighs] So... what are you wearing?

The Question: Blue overcoat. Fedora.

Huntress: [scoffs] You really stink at this.

The Question: ...Orange socks?

[Huntress hangs up]

Huntress: You sure you're okay?

Black Canary: Worried?

Huntress: Curious.

Roulette: Let the pain begin!

Huntress: They've had you up every night working the arena. No wonder you've been fighting like a girl. [pause] You know what I mean.

Roulette: Of course, you two aren't under my control any longer, which means I'm going to have to eliminate you. In the ring, of course. Why just shoot you when I can sell tickets and lay odds?

Huntress: You're scum.

Roulette: No, no, my dear. I'm an entrepreneur.

Roulette: Huntress and Black Canary versus two new contenders! Vixen, the beauty with the beast powers, and the Thanagar thrasher... Hawkgirl!

Vixen: I don't want to hurt you, Shayera.

Shayera Hol: But I wanna hurt you!

Vixen: Just when we were starting to get along.

Huntress: Looks like we're in this together.

Black Canary: If you call me "girlfriend", I'm gonna dropkick you into the next county.

Huntress: Now, don't go all sentimental on me.

[Vixen pulls the League communicator out of Shayera's ear, freeing her from Roulette's mind control]

Shayera Hol: I don't think I want to know...

Vixen: We're in a cage match fighting to the death!

Shayera Hol: Yeah, see?

Roulette: Yes, that's really Wonder Woman, ladies and gentlemen! It is on! Can even these four beautiful bruisers stand up to the Amazon powerhouse herself?

Vixen: Anybody got a plan?

Shayera Hol: Yeah, try to stay alive.

Huntress: Anybody got a good plan?

Sonar: In another thirty seconds your brains will be so scrambled I'll be able to serve 'em up with bacon.

Huntress: Do I kill the signal or you?

Black Canary: You know, if you want, I can talk to the League and get you back in.

Huntress: Nah, I do fine on my own.

[silence]

Black Canary: Thank you, Helena. If you hadn't...

Huntress: You would have done the same.

Huntress: You know, I was totally whipping your butt back when they caught us.

Black Canary: Pff. In your dreams!

Huntress: Like I'd waste my dreams on you...

Far From Home [3.10]

Bouncing Boy: This stinks, Brainy. I hate running from a fight.

Brainiac 5: They'll never look for us here. That gives us a chance to counterattack.

Bouncing Boy: Attack how? There's only the two of us left.

Brainiac 5: Yes, I've been giving that problem some thought.

Bouncing Boy: Oh, no. I know you're a level 12 mega-genius, but you are seriously out of your mind.

Brainiac 5: There's no other option. All of our teammates have been captured. To save them, we'll have to break the laws of time and recruit heroes from the past.

Bouncing Boy: But messing with history? That's risky, even for us.

Brainiac 5: Incomplete records from the 21st century show that three members of the legendary Justice League once came to the future. My research indicates now is that time.

Bouncing Boy: I did my homework too, Brainy. The histories say three heroes came to the future.

Brainiac 5: But only two of them ever made it home.

Green Lantern: You ready, Supergirl?

Supergirl: Dude, I was born ready. That tickles. I'll take that, thanks. Whoa! So Queen Bee and Doctor Cyber? Not much of a workout.

Green Lantern: Hear that, Ollie? Kara thinks it's too easy.

Green Arrow: Well, we wouldn't want her to get bored.

Supergirl: Aah! I hate you. Ha!

Green Arrow: Some kid, huh? Today's her 21st birthday, but she'd rather be here practicing than go out with me and Dinah.

Superman: Good for her.

Green Arrow: Hey, at least we wanted to spend some time with her. You ever think about how she must feel? She's always an outsider.

Superman: I know a little bit about that myself, Ollie.

Green Arrow: Just a little. You came to Earth as a baby, grew up here. Kara spent most of her life on a planet with technology hundreds of years ahead of ours. She's gotta feel like she's trapped in the Stone Age.

Superman: I've tried to make her feel at home.

Green Arrow: How? Seems to me you treat her just like another cape.

Superman: I was never happy about Kara going into the family business, but now that she's decided it's what she wants to do, I've tried to step back and let her develop into her own person. I didn't want her living in the shadow of being Superman's cousin.

Green Arrow: This may shock you, but she's proud to be your cousin. She even changed her costume to look more like yours.

Superman: Yes, and I'm very proud. But don't tell her.

Green Arrow: No, that's a job for Superman.

Supergirl: Well?

Green Lantern: Well what?

Supergirl: Aren't you gonna give me notes about all the stuff I screwed up?

Green Lantern: No notes, Kara. I've got nothing left to teach you.

Green Arrow: Not bad, kiddo. You set a new record for this simulation.

Superman: Kara.

Brainiac 5: I'm certain that this must be disorienting for you. My name is...

Supergirl: [angrily] Brainiac!

Brainiac 5: [oblivious] That's right, how did you... [realizes] uh-oh!

[Supergirl attacks him]

Brainiac 5: Please, calm down. I'm not going to hurt you.

Green Arrow: Whoa, sparky. Let's hear what he has to say.

Brainiac 5: Thank you. Yes, I am a Brainiac, but I'm not a machine. I'm organic. The universe-conquering Brainiac you knew is my distant ancestor. Over time he learned to pass down his code biologically. I am Brainiac 5. Think of me as the black sheep of my family, dedicated to doing good to make up for my ancestor's legacy of evil.

Green Lantern: And you demonstrated that by kidnapping us?

Bouncing Boy: We'd have never done it if the situation wasn't so dire.

Green Arrow: Where are we, anyway?

Brainiac 5: Approximately 1000 years into your future, in what you'd call the 31st century.

Green Lantern: Time travel, swell.

Bouncing Boy: It's a real thrill for me to meet you, sir. You're the famous John Stewart, father of...

Green Lantern: You wanna shut up before you create a time paradox?

Bouncing Boy: Sorry. Chuck Taine. Code name: Bouncing Boy.

Supergirl: Why did you bring us here?

Brainiac 5: We're part of a group called the Legion of Super Heroes, a galaxy-spanning force not unlike your Justice League. A team of criminals called the Fatal Five attacked our new headquarters, captured all our teammates.

Bouncing Boy: They must have something big planned to risk taking on the legion. But we can't figure what it is.

Brainiac 5: We needed help, so we sent the Time Bubble to bring back some of Earth's greatest heroes.

Supergirl: But why us?

Brainiac 5: It... it was random, we'd have taken anyone.

Green Lantern: Okay, so how can we help?

Supergirl: Whoa, time out. Just because he's seriously cute, doesn't mean we can trust a Brainiac!

Green Arrow: I'm not getting a bad vibe off the kid.

Green Lantern: [to Supergirl] And apparently neither are you. "Seriously cute", huh?

Bouncing Boy: The date we pulled her from is exactly when Supergirl vanished from the historical records. Brainy, she's going to die. We have to tell her. :Brainiac 5: No. Telling her could change history. Keep quiet, Chuck. That's an order.

Bouncing Boy: You know, Brainiac, being organic and having a heart - not the same thing.

Green Lantern: We're in. What's next?

Brainiac 5: The lab's this way. The tech is out of date, but we should find enough...

Emerald Empress: A Green Lantern! That's a rare sight in this galaxy these days.

Persuader: Take a good look! He won't be here long.

Supergirl: [Fighting the Fatal Five] So what's your power? Super-strength? Speed?

Brainiac 5: I have a 12th-level intellect...

Supergirl: Great, you can knock'em out with your diploma.

Brainiac 5: [caught by Supergirl] That was unnecessary. My belt protects me from any impact.

Supergirl: Maybe I was just trying to cop a feel.

Persuader: Empress.

Emerald Princess: You'll find the Emerald Eye of Ekron more than a match for your ring.

Persuader: On your feet.

Supergirl: Ohh. What?

Brainiac 5: You've got to free the others. Aah!

Emerald Princess: Forget them. We have the Green Lantern. Let's go.

Green Arrow: What's goin' on? Can you track 'em with those things?

Brainiac 5: Not yet, but I've

identified the technology. They're psion receptors.

Supergirl: Hey, that soda machine in the lobby still works.

Brainiac 5: Oh, thanks.

Supergirl: Back on Argo, we used psionic technology for our remote controls. When we lost one, you just had to think at it, and it'd beep. Don't know why we bothered. They were always in the couch cushions.

Brainiac 5: Good idea, but it won't work. The Fatal Five are masking the carrier wave somehow.

Supergirl: [To Brainiac 5] So, I have to know. Why'd you save me first?

Brainiac 5: My decision was based on pure logic.

Green Arrow: Really? Because Green Lantern's the most powerful.

Brainiac 5: No offense, but I don't think you can follow the reasoning of a 12th-level intellect such as my own.

Green Arrow: Guess not. Hey, Kara, wanna get me one of those drinks?

Supergirl: Oh, sure.

Green Arrow: [to Brainiac 5 about Kara] Admit it, genius. You're in love with her.

Brainiac 5: Ludicrous, we just met. Moreover, as a Coluan, I'm ruled by intellect, not emotion.

Green Arrow: So in love with her.

Brainiac 5: [stops to analyze himself] Increased sweat-gland production. Shortness of breath, inability to concentrate. I thought it was guilt, but I am in love. How did you know?

Green Arrow: Just call me Cupid, junior. I never miss. [Kara comes in] I'm gonna raid this dump, see if I can upgrade my arrows with some future tech. I'll be gone for a long time, so you two are stuck with each other. Alone. For a long time.

Tharok: You had the superior weapons and the advantage of surprise. Explain to me how you

failed to capture Brainiac 5.

Emerald Princess: Watch your tone, half-a-man. I'd hardly call capturing a Green Lantern a failure. He's more powerful than a dozen Brainiacs.

Tharok: Perhaps, but that was

never part of the plan.

Emerald Princess: You have to learn to improvise, Tharok. We're better armed than ever to strike against the United Planets. After that, the universe will be ours for the taking.

Supergirl: What's that?

Brainiac 5: A legion flight ring. All of us have one.

Supergirl: So does this mean

we're going steady?

Brainiac 5: Uh...

Supergirl: Trust me, 1000 years ago, that joke was hilarious.

Brainiac 5: I thought since I couldn't trace the control disk, maybe I could trace the missing Legionnaires' rings. But it was another dead end.

Supergirl: It's a shame our Justice League comm-links don't work here. We could track Green Lantern by his transponder. Come to think of it, we still could if we had a...

Brainiac 5 and Supergirl: Quantum-tunneling RF transponder.

Brainiac 5: Hold that thought.

Green Arrow: Yeah, this looks like it could do some damage.

Supergirl: Get up here. Brainiac's found GL.

Brainiac 5: His signal's coming from this ship. They're headed towards the capital of the United Planets. The Fatal Five's tried to destroy it before.

Green Arrow: And now with GL

and the entire legion under their control, they just might succeed.

Brainiac 5: The good news is

my personal cruiser runs rings around their ship. We could still beat them there.

Supergirl: Then what?

Green Arrow: We improvise.

Supergirl: Nice ship.

Brainiac 5: It's strictly no-frills, but it's fast. What do you pilot back home?

Supergirl: Usually just a pickup.

Brainiac 5: "A pickup"? Is that a type of star cruiser?

Supergirl: [About the Legion Flight ring] What's that?

Brainiac 5: The Legion Flight ring, all of us have one. [Hands the ring to Supergirl]

Supergirl: So does this mean we're going steady?

Brainiac 5: Eeerrr....

Supergirl: Trust me, a thousand years ago, that joke was hilarious.

Supergirl: Nice ship!

Brainiac 5: It's strictly no frills, but it's fast. What do you pilot back home?

Supergirl: Usually just a pickup.

Brainiac 5: A pickup — is that a type of Starcruiser?

Green Arrow: Yes. Yes it is.

[Breaking into the Fatal Five's HQ]

Brainiac 5: Shoot.

Green Arrow: I know. I was hoping they'd be out looking for us.

Brainiac 5: No, shoot! [Green Arrow shoots an arrow at the Fatal Five catches Brainiac 5 in mid-air]

Supergirl: There's still a planet full of people down there who need our help. Do your job, and I'm gonna do mine.

Brainiac 5: But... [Supergirl kisses him]

Supergirl: In case I don't see you again.

Phantom Girl: We wanted to say thanks by making you honorary legionnaires.

Green Lantern: It's very nice, but I already have a ring.

Bouncing Boy: Don't worry about it, GL. You can't keep it anyway. If you took it home, the future technology could pollute the time stream.

Supergirl: I'm keeping mine. I'm not going back. Kara? History says Supergirl never returned from this mission because she decided to stay in the future.

Superman: Whatever abducted them didn't leave any energy signature. Maybe Dr. Fate or Zatanna? Where's Kara?

Green Lantern: She asked us to give you this.

Supergirl: Tell Ma and Pa I love them. And I love you too, Clark. Don't take this the wrong way, but I've found a place where I can make a difference. Where I'm more than just Superman's kid cousin. I... I feel I belong here. Also, I met this boy.

Green Arrow: You should have seen her. She was amazing.

Green Lantern: She's a grown woman now, capable of choosing...

Superman: Kara's headstrong, but she's always made good decisions. I trust her judgment. But you were right, Ollie. I wish I had told her.

Green Arrow: It's okay, Clark. She knows.

Superman: Now, this boy Kara likes so much, does he have a name?

[nervous looks from Green Lantern and Green Arrow]

Ancient History [3.11]

Gentleman Ghost: I like it. Very imaginative. But your ring is useless against me, Lantern.

Green Lantern: Then why are you running from it?

Vixen: Well, I’m surprised you haven’t made your move before now.

Shayera Hol: I'm still trying to figure out the right Earth protocol for this situation. It's not like I can assassinate you in your sleep, or poison your water...I miss Thanagar.

Shadow Thief: For decades their ever-growing empire was a utopia. But nothing lasts forever. At least, nothing good.

[after Ashari cuts a flower off of a tree with a knife]

Chay-Ara: You didn't have to do that. I can fly.

Bashari: When we're together, so can I.

Hawkman: You always were good with that thing.

Shayera Hol: Just hit him!

Hawkman: Right!

Shayera Hol: Don't say you don't love me.

Green Lantern: I'll never say that.

Shayera Hol: Tell me about my son.

Alive! [3.12]

[At the Legion of Doom's base, Lex Luthor is attempting to reactivate the sole piece of Brainiac. Tala enters approaches him as the computer room is overloading]

Tala: Lex! Stop it! You'll blow us all to pieces!

Lex Luthor: Not now, Woman! Something's happening... It's... [but the stone's energy overloads and destroys the machine, failing to recreated Brainiac] it's... just one more steaming flop! [screams in anger and wrecks the control panels with his hands]

Tala: Baby...

Lex Luthor: Nothing works! [continues wrecking the tools]

Tala: Lex, forget bringing back Brainiac.

Lex Luthor: I don't need input from some crystal-gazing parasite! One who's confused a winch's grip on power with the real thing!

Tala: [takes the stone] This is the real trouble-maker for us. It's pure wild goose chase. Look, I will prove it. I will show you what is in there.

Lex Luthor: Don't be stupid. [takes the stone] This is science. What good is your sorcery? Unless you plan to turn stone into gold? Or maybe a frog?

Tala: Such ignorance. Transmutation is what you want to do!

Lex Luthor: Transmutation is...[pauses] what are you waiting for? Do it! [hands the stone to her]

Tala: Okay!

Lex Luthor: Okay!

Tala: [performing her Transmutation Sorcery] By the slaughter of the innocent, by pestilence and plague, reveal the hidden unto me. [she uses her powers to view the stone's origins. She finds nothing] There, you see? Just a rock. A worthless piece of... [she sees something from it] oh.

Lex Luthor: What?

Tala: It's not important.

Lex Luthor: Show me!

[she uses her magic to give Luthor a vision of the past, when the Brainiac Asteroid was destroyed]

Brainiac Computer Voice: Critical system failure in three seconds. Two seconds. One second. [the asteroid explodes. Tala, almost unable to keep up with the image, screams as the vision nearly fades]

Lex Luthor: No! Keep the image! [Tala struggles until Luthor sees enough] There is still Brainiac in the universe.

Tala: There is no way to tell where it happened.

Lex Luthor: Wrong. I saw enough of those stars to determine the explosion's coordinates. It should be a simple matter.

Tala: You saw the wild goose again. Concentrate on us, baby. Space is too far. Together, we can rule this world. [Luthor pushes her aside] Oh!

Lex Luthor: If you like this world so much, keep your fool mouth shut. Then maybe I'll let you keep it. Me? I'm going to be a god again. [sometime later, the Society members make changes in their headquarters] Speed it up! Sinestro, don't forget the floor. I want radiation shielding from every direction. Rampage... [interrupted when Bizarro has trouble with his work] [annoyed] Help Bizarro. [to Weather Wizard] Don't distort the metal, moron!

Weather Wizard: I don't even know why we're doing this.

[Luthor pins him next to the hot molten metal in the wall]

Lex Luthor: Killer Frost, if Weather Wizard here doesn't shape up, I'm holding you accountable.

Killer Frost: Whatever.

Lex Luthor: Structural integrity is crucial.

Killer Frost: Okay, got it. Jeez.

Grodd: Why is my headquarters moving? Hey, What's going on?! [no answer] I demand to know what's going on!

Tala: Quiet, Grodd!

Grodd: You! Come to gloat at me again? I'm not some monkey in a zoo, throwing-

Tala: [Shushes him] Listen, I've been very, very bad. I picked the wrong pony. It should have been you.

Grodd: Ooh, you've finally sussed it out. That hairless sweetheart of yours isn't a leader. He's a thug.

Tala: And how! I don't like to compete for Lex with a dead computer. I want you to be the man in charge, like before. So, baby, [strokes him seductively] what do you want?

Grodd: Why, only you, my dear. And Luthor's fat head on a plate! [Tala smiles]

[the Society members are in their working places as Toyman is navigating]

Atomic Skull: That's one Mother of a laser show.

Lex Luthor: Toyman?

Toyman: We should be reaching the Brainiac Remnants soon. By the way, thank you for making me your navigator, Luthor. I've aways loved learning a new controller.

Lex Luthor: Just keep us on course. The slightest error and we're dead.

[suddenly, Grodd breaks through with a laser cannon]

Grodd: I wouldn't worry about it, neanderthal. The way I see it, You're dead either way. [Approaches Luthor along with the villains who follow him] I'd like to complete this transaction with as little blood shed as possible, Lex. Now, put your hands up and have Toyman turn us around.

Tala: Don't look at him, big boy. Grodd is leader.

[Giganta grabs Grodd]

Grodd: Giganta, you're out of jail! How's your head?

Giganta: Pretty good, considering you tried to fry my brain! [begins to squeeze Grodd]

Tala: Don't get grabby, Thunderthighs! Grodd is mine now! [Blasts Giganta]

Killer Frost: [Prepares to freeze Toyman] One creep-cicle coming up! [Toyman headbutts her and runs away] You are so annoying!

Tala: Trapped like a rat. It's very weird. You have never had so much fun when we were together. [Tala fires a magic spell at Luthor, but it bounces back and knocks her unconscious. He pulls an amulet from under his shirt]

Lex Luthor: You wouldn't believe what this cost me.

[scene shifts to Toyman, who is walking the stair with a deadly Yo-Yo in his hand as Killer Frost approaches him surfing in a ice wave]

Toyman: Around the world... [wipes Frost's ice construct with his Yo-yo, knocking her in the ground] Rock the crater... [Frost creates an ice wall to protect herself, but Toyman uses his yo-yo to break it through and knock her unconscious] Sleeper.

Grodd: Give up, Lex! You're only delaying the inevitable.

Lex Luthor: You're right.

Grodd: [shoots a blast of his gun at Luthor, who deflects with his gloves] If it's all the same to you, I'd rather snap your neck with my bare hands. [Luthor tries to attack him, but Grodd counters and singlehandedly beats him up again and again] You know, this mutiny was easy. The Secret Society hates you.

Lex Luthor: Like they love you! [runs towards Grodd, who knocks him away with a kick] Idiotic simian. Half-baked objectivist.

Grodd: [grabs Luthor] You're ill-equipped to lead, Lex.

Lex Luthor: [choking] A lower primate masquerading as an intellectual.

Grodd: I'm the more accomplished, both physically and mentally. [uses telepathy on Luthor, who overrides it with his power-belt and puts Grodd under his control]

Lex Luthor: Took you long enough. I was beginning to think I'd figured you wrong. Now bow down to me. [Grodd struggles not to, but does so] Who is master here?

Grodd: [weakly] You... are...

Lex Luthor: Get up. [Grodd obeys] Take six steps forward. [Grodd does so and opens the door in front of him] Get in. [Grodd does so again and Luthor closes the door and deactivates his power-belt]

Grodd: [trying to break through the door in anger] I should have let you rot in jail!

Lex Luthor: Goodbye, Grodd. It could have gone the other way.

Grodd: It really could have, couldn't it?

Lex Luthor: No... But why speak ill of the dead? [punches a button and opens airlock]

Grodd: You twisted little pink rat-hole of a hominid, I'm not done with you! I'll get out of this, and when I do...!

[Grodd is sucked out of his headquarters to his death]

[Lex Luthor's team has beaten Grodd's rebels]

Lex Luthor: Can any of you give me one good reason to let you live? [Killer Frost steps forward from the rebels, then freezes her comrades without a word] Killer Frost... you've got a future. Get rid of the rest.

Killer Frost: You got it.

Toyman: We're here.

[the headquarters reaches Brainiac's coordinates]

Tala: [To Luthor] Darling, Grodd must have used mind-control!... Okay, maybe not. But baby, you don't ever doubt that I love you, correct? I-, I-, I know I did something bad, I'm a sick person. You don't know what it's like to be me.

Lex Luthor: Don't be afraid, darling. You still have a big role in my plan. In fact... I can't do this without you. [Volcana knocks Tala out, then, she wakes up being used as a mystical conduit to reassemble Brainiac.] I used to think magic was unknowable, unpredictable, and not to be trusted. You've taught me so much, Tala. Even my wealth of scientific knowledge would never have been up to this task. You will be the mystic conduit that will siphon Brainiac's essence from the debris. I'll be able to reconstitute him from that energy. But I doubt you'll see it.

Tala: You planned this all along! Even before I-

Lex Luthor: I'm a sick person too.

Toyman: Luthor, the collection panels are in place.

Tala: [panicked] Lex! Please! I beg you!

Lex Luthor: Hold that thought. [to Toyman] Do it. [Toyman is about to obey, but time stops] I said do it!

Metron: [appearing behind Luthor] He cannot hear you, Lex Luthor. Time has stopped. We exist between two ticks of the clock. In my travels through the myriad paths of infinity, I have seen the first and the last. But what you do today threatens the entire universe. Past, Present and Future.

Lex Luthor: I should hope it does. Look, I didn't catch the name.

Metron: Metron. Scientist and chronicler.

Lex Luthor: Well, Metron, I'll soon be ready for anything the universe can throw at me. I'm about to become a god.

Metron: You don't know what a god is. Or what you are unleashing.

Lex Luthor: "Tampering with forces beyond my ken", and so forth? Nice try. Look, if you want my power, make your move, otherwise you can get lost.

Metron: You will regret your decision. We all will. [Metron disappears as time turns back to normal]

Toyman: Twinkle, twinkle, Brainiac, Tala's gonna bring you back! [activates the machine]

Tala: [last words] Lex! Lex! LEX!

Lex Luthor: Brainiac! I'm coming! [the machine drains Tala's energy until it creates a mysterious figure which appears with the smoke] People, meet your new lord and master!

[He becomes shocked as, instead of Brainiac, the figure is revealed to be Darkseid, who is now fused with Brainiac and given a new look]

Darkseid: It seems I have you to thank for my resurrection. Though your world will suffer slowly, I grant you a quick death.

[Darkseid uses his power to destroy the base. Scene shifts to Apokolips, where factions of the Apokoliptans are having a civil war]

Stick: That rodent, Vundabar, thinks he can rule Apokolips in Darkseid's stead. We'll be the ones who deliver his pestilent corpse to Granny Goodness. [the two sides begin the battle, but before they can, Darkseid emerges and all bow to him] Welcome home, oh, mighty Darkseid.

Darkseid: Arise, my children. Let this meaningless battle for control end today.

Sting: Of course, my Lord. We had thought ourselves bereft forever.

Darkseid: Only the slimmest of chances has allowed me to overcome my death at the hands of Superman. But let the universe howl in despair, for I have returned! [The Apokoliptan armies cheer triumphantly]

Stick: What is your will, my lord?

Darkseid: As ever, to search for the Anti-Life Equation, that I might bring order to this aimless universe. But first, Superman must suffer for killing me. His adopted world will die screaming. Only then will I seek the ultimate end.

Kanto: Forgive me, lord, but to attack Earth would violate your pact with Highfather. New Genesis would doubtless retaliate.

Darkseid: [smiles] Where do you think I'm going next?

[scene shifts to the Watchtower as a Watchtower employee runs desperately into the room where Superman and the League are]

Employee: Superman! You better get outside quick!

[The League goes outside and confronts Luthor and the remaining members of the Legion of Doom]

Lex Luthor: We have a little problem...

Destroyer [3.13]

Superman: Let's say, just for the sake of argument, that I believe a single word of your story. How did you survive the explosion?

Lex Luthor: By the skin of my teeth. But stranded more than a power ring's charge from home, we found ourselves dependent on the kindness of strangers. A resident of the nearby planet, New Genesis, drawn by our ship's explosion, offered his help. We accepted, of course.

Superman: You've got some nerve coming to us for help.

Lex Luthor: Darkseid took Brainiac away from me. I can't hear his voice in my head anymore!

Giganta: Enough of the crazy talk, Lex. Darkseid said he was coming to Earth to destroy it. You guys are supposed to keep that from happening.

Green Lantern: We'll do just that, lady. Thanks for the heads up.

Atomic Skull: And what about us?

Wonder Woman: You're all going into holding cells.

Atomic Skull: You think so? Ain't no way we're giving up without a...

Mr. Terrific: Watchtower to Metro Tower. We've got a situation.

Superman: What's going on up there?

Mister Terrific: Multiple hyperspatial incursions.

Shayera Hol: Send us first — give the others the chance to get their pants on. But they're planetside. I'm sending telemetry.

Batman: Boom tubes.

Superman: He's right. Can you hear it? Like thunder.

Superman: Okay, let's get these people locked up. Sounds like we've got a fight on our hands.

Giganta: If you think you're locking us up while the whole world's under attack, you've got two fights on your hands.

Batman: She's got a point. We'll need all the bodies we can throw at this.

Superman: Oh, come on! It's Lex flippin' Luthor! Why should we trust him?!

Atomic Skull: Hey, it's our world too!

Lex Luthor: Let's be clear about this. We're not here to help you save the world. You're here to help me get revenge on Darkseid. When this is over, it's back to business as usual.

Superman: [glares at Lex] Wouldn't have it any other way.

Batman: Search through the telemetry on the attack groups; find the best-protected mother ship. That's where Darkseid will be.

Superman: And that's where I want to go.

Mr. Terrific: I imagine so— it's in Metropolis, hovering over the Daily Planet. Stand by.

Lex Luthor: Was there a plan here?

Batman: Take out the small fries until we attract the big fish's attention.

Lex Luthor: Ha! With everything going on, I bet he never notices us!

[Darkseid appears]

Batman: You're on.

Superman: I'll take some of that action.

Darkseid: I hope you appreciate, Kal-El, that everything that happens from this point is on your head. The skies will rain fire, the oceans will boil, the streets will run red with the blood of billions. Only then, after your last pitiful hope is extinguished, will I end your life. Let's go.

Lex Luthor: You destroyed Brainiac! I'm gonna make you pay!

Darkseid: Unlikely. [blows Luthor away]

Darkseid: I'm more powerful than I've ever been, and the last time we met, you barely managed to hold your own.

Superman: Funny. That's not how I remember it.

Darkseid: Allow me to refresh your memory. [Darkseid picks up the Daily Planet globe and uses it to slam Superman through every floor of the building]

Green Lantern: We gotta find a way to take this out for good!

Flash: Why don't you just throw it into the sun? [pauses and stares at Green Lantern] Yeah, I guess that's a pretty stupid idea.

Green Lantern: No, maybe you're on to something. But I'll need more leverage. And a trench!

Flash: On it! [he runs around and around in a circle, creating a trench around the drill] Now what? [Green Lantern creates a catapult with his ring] Aw, cool! [Green Lantern flings the drill]

Green Lantern: Doesn't look like it quite made escape velocity. [The drill hits a ship, which explodes]

Flash: Good effort, though.

Darkseid: Don't leave us yet, Kal-El. I want you to see your adopted homeworld bow down before me. Only then will I allow you death's sweet release.

Wonder Woman: Get away from here! It's not safe!

Elderly Chinese Man: Don't worry. I'm here to help.

Wonder Woman: I appreciate your inten- [Sees the old man easily defeating Parademons] Hera! [The man suddenly changes into a Chinese dragon, defeating more Parademons. He then changes again, becoming the Martian Manhunter.] J'onn! [hugs him]

Martian Manhunter: Good to see you, Diana. I've got a lot to tell you about.

Wonder Woman: We'll catch up later.

Martian Manhunter: Wouldn't miss it. First things first...

[The team flies off towards one of Darkseid's magma towers]

Lex Luthor: Problem?

Batman: I'm out.

Lex Luthor: [holds up his gun] Take my extra.

Batman: Not my style.

Lex Luthor: Suit yourself. I'm planning to live through this.

Darkseid: Flee. [Batman dodges Darkseid's Omega Beam and it hits a Parademon] Impressive. No one has ever avoided my Omega Beam. I wonder if the other one is as agile. [Powers up his Omega Beams; Lex Luthor runs away] Excellent strategy.

Darkseid: Super or otherwise, you're merely a man. And I am a god.

Lex Luthor: You! Metron! You knew this was going to happen!

Metron: This outcome was the most likely possible result of your foolhardy actions.

Lex Luthor: You can help me! I demand that you help me!

Metron: You are in no position to make demands of anyone. I warned you that you were dabbling in forces beyond your comprehension.

Lex Luthor: You'd be surprised what I can comprehend! For instance, if you know so much about Darkseid, I'll wager you know how to beat him!

Metron: There is one possibility. One thing in all the universe that might... but no. The risk...

Lex Luthor: I know a little something about risk myself. [aims his pistol at Metron] Care for an object lesson?

Metron: Very well. I will take you where you want to go.

Darkseid: You still try to fight. Can't you see that it's hopeless?

Superman: [Pins Darkseid against a wall] Batman won't quit so long as he can draw breath. None of my teammates will. Me? I've got a different problem. [Punches Darkseid through the wall] I feel like I live in a world made of cardboard. Always taking care not to break something, to break someone. Never allowing myself to lose control, even for a moment, or someone could die. [Punches Darkseid again] But you can take it, can't you, big man? What we have here is a rare opportunity for me to cut loose, and show you just how powerful I really am. [Punches Darkseid across the city with a single blow]

Darkseid: It's called the Agony Matrix. Direct neural stimulation of pain receptors - all of them. Imagine the worst pain you've ever felt in your life, times a thousand. Now imagine that pain continuing. Forever. Oh, that's right... you don't have to imagine.

Metron: Behold the Source Wall. Beyond it is the single greatest secret of the universe. This is as far as I dare to go. I warn you one final time: only a 12th level intellect has the slightest hope of surviving what you are about to experience.

Lex Luthor: Then I'm overqualified.

Darkseid: Still alive. You impress me, Kryptonian. More... your valor has touched my heart. Oh yes, there is still some small part of me that knows mercy. I will end your pain... with something special I've been saving for just this occasion. [Darkseid draws a Kryptonite knife] I'm going to carve out your heart and put it on a pike in my throne room.

[Lex Luthor appears in a business suit]

Lex Luthor: As much as I'd enjoy seeing that, first you have some business with me. Sorry it took me so long - I had to go get my "power suit".

Darkseid: You dare challenge me? Insanity!

Lex Luthor: Oh, I'm not here to challenge you, Darkseid. Quite the contrary. I've got something you want. The only thing you want.

[Luthor holds up his hand, revealing a dazzling shard of energy]

Darkseid: [astonished] The Anti-Life Equation!

Darkseid: It's beautiful, isn't it?

Lex Luthor: Yes...yes, it is.

[After Lex Luthor and Darkseid vanish through the Anti-Life Equation]

Martian Manhunter: In many ways, Lex Luthor represents the worst of what mankind has to offer.

Superman: But he died saving us all.

Batman: I doubt that either of them died.

Superman: But we saw it this time!

Flash: You saw it last time too.

Green Lantern: What's that old saying? "Believe half of what you see..."

Shayera Hol: "...and none of what you hear." They'll be back.

Martian Manhunter: And we'll be ready for them.

Wonder Woman: It's past time that Luthor's partners in crime were locked up.

Atomic Skull: Wait a minute – we help you guys save the world, and we don't even get any consideration?

[Batman looks at Superman, who shrugs]

Batman: You're right. Five-minute head start.

Atomic Skull: Five minutes? Are you kidding?!

Wonder Woman: Four minutes, fifty seconds.

[The villains promptly flee; Giganta gives the surprised Flash a kiss on the cheek before joining the others]

[Last lines of the series]

Martian Manhunter: [on the cell phone to his wife] I should be back in time to dinner. I love you too.

Flash: These are the end times.

Superman: [to Batman] A head start? You're getting soft in your old age.

Batman: [smiling] Don't you have a tall building to go leap?

Wonder Woman: And the adventure continues...

[The entire Justice League runs down the stairs, chasing the villains, each of the Justice League is split into sections, ending with the originals and Batman's emblem filling the screen]

External links

Wikipedia

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Justice League Unlimited