Kate & Allie

Kate & Allie was a 1980s situation comedy about two best friends (played by Susan Saint James and Jane Curtin) who moved in together after their respective divorces.

Opening credits banter

• Soft piano music. Kate and Allie walk down a street.

Kate: You know who lives in that building? Greta Garbo.

Allie: There...right there, like a normal person?

Kate: Uh-huh.

Allie: What do you suppose she's doing right now?

Kate: Probably watching TV. Let's go. *Kate starts to walk off*

Allie: No! Don't you want to...wait and see if she comes out?

Kate: Allie, she "wants to be alone."

Allie: Oh, come on, just a minute!

Kate: Okay, okay. But this is ridiculous!

Allie: *sees a shadow from the window* Oh my God! It's her!

Kate: How can you tell?

Allie: I know it's her! It's she!

Kate: That could be anybody.

Allie: *to herself* I saw...Greta Garbo!

Kate: You saw...a woman in a hat! It could have been Bella Abzug!

Allie: Are you trying to spoil what could possibly be the high point of my life?

Kate: *sigh* Okay, okay, we saw Greta Garbo.

Allie: Do you really think it was her?

• Kate and Allie walk down the street; the soft piano music starts up again, final few notes.

---

• Soft piano music. Kate and Allie walk past a flower shop.

Kate: You'll never guess who I ran into today.

Allie: Who?

Kate: Brenda Maizel.

Allie: Lumpy! Oh, I haven't seen Lumpy since graduation! Poor, sweet old Lumpy.

Kate: Yeah.

Allie: Braces, glasses and allergies. Remember that sneeze?

Kate: That's how I recognized her. I was standing on the corner in front of Saks and I heard someone choking a turkey. I turned around and there she was.

Allie: Still a mess? *sniffs some flowers*

Kate: Well, as messy as you can be in mink.

Allie: *looks up* Oh?

Kate: Well, she married an investment broker.

Allie: Well, good for her. They're safe and predictable.

Kate: He also skydives, he's a published poet, and his name is Thor.

Allie: She still have those stubby little fingers?

Kate: I couldn't tell with all the diamonds.

Allie: I never liked her.

Kate: Me neither.

• Allie puts the flowers down and they both walk away; the soft piano music starts up again, final few notes.