Walt Bishop: Our daughter's been abducted by one of these beige lunatics!
Social Services: [to Scout Master Ward and Captain Sharp] You two are the most appallingly incompetent custodial guardians Social Services has ever had the misfortune to encounter in a TWENTY-SEVEN year career!
Sam: I feel I'm in a real family now. Not like yours, but similar to one.
Suzy: I always wished I was an orphan. Most of my favorite characters are. I think your lives are more special.
Sam: I love you, but you don't know what you're talking about.
Suzy: I love you, too.
Sam: Why do you always use binoculars?
Suzy: It helps me see things closer. Even if they're not very far away. I pretend it's my magic power.
Sam: That sounds like poetry. Poems don't always have to rhyme, you know. They're just supposed to be creative.
Laura Bishop: Poor Suzy. Why is everything so hard for you?
Suzy: We're in love. We just want to be together. What's wrong with that?
Laura Bishop: We women are more emotional...
Suzy: I hate you.
Laura Bishop: Don't say "hate".
Suzy: Why not? I mean it.
Laura Bishop: You think you mean it, in this moment. You're trying to hurt me.
Cousin Ben: Your badge in seamanship?
Sam: Yes, sir.
Cousin Ben: Good. There's a cold water crabber moored off Broken Rock. The skipper owes me an IOU. We'll see if he can take you on as a claw cracker. It won't be an easy life, but it's better than shock therapy.
Sam: Thank you, sir. By the way, where's the chapel tent?
Cousin Ben: Back there, but the padre's home with the mumps. Why do you ask?
Sam: I want to bring my wife.
[Cousin Ben stops abruptly]
Suzy: But we're not married yet.
Cousin Ben: You his girl?
Cousin Ben: Technically, I'm a civil law scrivener. I'm authorized to declare births, deaths, and marriages. You're kind of young. You got a license?
Sam, Suzy: No.
Cousin Ben: I can't offer you a legally binding union. It won't hold up in the state, the county, or frankly, any courtroom in the world, due to your age, lack of a license, and failure to get parental consent. But the ritual does carry a very important moral weight within yourselves. You can't enter into the contract lightly. Look into my eyes. Do you love each other?
Suzy: Yes, we do.
Cousin Ben: Think about what I'm saying. Are you sure you're ready for this?
Suzy: Yes, we are.
Cousin Ben: [to nobody in particular] They're not listening to me. Let me rephrase it.
Suzy: We're in a hurry.
Cousin Ben: Are you chewing gum? Spit out the gum, sister. In fact, everybody.
[collecting up spit out gum]
Cousin Ben: I don't like the snappy attitude. This is the most important decision you've made in your lives. Now go over by the trampoline and talk it through before you give me another quick answer...
Sam: Why do you consider me your enemy?
Redford: Because your girlfriend stabbed me in the back with lefty scissors.
Sam: She's my wife now.
Sam: Thank you. But I'm saying before that, six weeks ago, from day one, why didn't you like me?
Redford: Why should I? Nobody else does.
Laura Bishop: I'm sorry Walt.
Walt Bishop: It's not your fault... Which injuries are you apologizing for? Specifically.
Laura Bishop: Specifically? Whichever ones still hurt.
Walt Bishop: Half of those were self-inflicted... I hope the roof flies off, and I get sucked up into space. You'll be better off without me.
Laura Bishop: Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Walt Bishop: Why?
Laura Bishop: We're all they've got, Walt.
Walt Bishop: That's not enough.
Sam: It's possible I may wet the bed by the way. Later, I mean.
Sam: I wish I didn't have to mention it but just in case. I don't want to make you be offended.
Suzy: Of course, I won't.
Sam: I admit we knew we'd get in trouble. That part's true. We knew people would be worried, and we still ran away, anyway. But something also happened, which we didn't do on purpose. When we first met each other, something happened to us.
Captain Sharp: That's very eloquent. I can't argue against anything you're saying. But then again, I don't have to, 'cause you're 12 years old. Look, let's face it, you're probably a much more intelligent person than I am. In fact, I guarantee it. But even smart kids stick their finger in electrical sockets sometimes. It takes time to figure things out. It's been proven by history. All mankind makes mistakes. It's our job to try to protect you from making the dangerous ones, if we can. [offering him beer] We want a slug?
[Sam pours out his milk and holds his glass up to be filled]
Captain Sharp: What's your rush? You've got your whole life in front of yourself. Ahead of you, I mean.
Sam: Maybe so. Anyway, you're a bachelor.
Captain Sharp: So are you.
Sam: That's true. Did you love someone ever?
Captain Sharp: Yes, I did.
Sam: What happened?
Captain Sharp: She didn't love me back.
Captain Sharp: I'm sorry for your loss. Anyway, that's what you're supposed to say.