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- Postal Dude: I suppose it would have been more politically correct to kill the women and the minorities first.
- Postal Dude: Here I was, just enjoying my Second Amendment rights, and you people have to freak out on me!
- Postal Dude: Guns don’t kill people. I do.
- Postal Dude: Hey I'm just trying to exercise my second-amendment rights here ya fuckin' Communist!
- Postal Dude: The gene pool is stagnant and I am administering chlorine.
- Postal Dude: Please don't think I'm a bigot, I kill races equally...
- Postal Dude: You probably thought you weren't gonna die today? Surprise!
- Postal Dude: I know what you're thinking, but the funny thing is, I don't even LIKE videogames...
- Postal Dude: Today's the first day of the end of your lives.
- Postal Dude: Did somebody slaughter a goat in here? Seriously, I wanna know. (After entering "Lucky Ganesh All-American grocery store")
- Habib: Infidel! I crash a plane into your mother!
- Habib: Your mother is a goat that my father services!
- Habib: Thank you for Unclean visit! Now GET OUT! And come again please.
- Anti-book protestor: Save a Tree! Burn a Book!
- Parent for Decency: Games are bad! They make you mad!
- Krotchy: Krotchy ain't got no cojones. Krotchy IS cojones, bitch!
Postal 2: Apocalypse Weekend
- Vegetarian: Somebody call Pamela Anderson!
- Phraud Hogslop: Hey! That's my Gold Master that I don't have. Give it back! SECURITY!
- Zombified Mike J: I am Mike J, Kosher Mad Cow Zombie, God of Hellfire! All bow down, and worship my asscock!
- Vince Desi: There's a position under my desk for your sister.
Postal 2: Eternal Damnation
Postal 2: Paradise Lost
- Encyclopedic article on Postal 2 at Wikipedia